Advertise on podcast: The Sex After Kids Podcast

Send us a text What if the biggest mood killer in your sex life isn't lack of desire, time, or chemistry—but the pressure to be perfect? In this episode, we're digging into why chasing "perfect sex" actually leads to more awkwardness, less connection, and way less fun. Plus, how to shift from performance mode into curiosity and communication. We cover: Why performance anxiety shows up even in long-term relationshipsHow to talk during sex without killing the vibeWhy perfectionism quietly shuts down pleasureWhat it really means to treat sex like a team sportEasy, in-the-moment ways to speak up and stay connectedIf sex has started to feel tense, rushed, or like you're just guessing, this episode will help you breathe again. Plus, I share what my partner and I are experimenting with right now, and why giving feedback in bed is a green flag, not a red one. Valentine's Day Workshop – Color Me Curious  Join me live on February 14 for a playful, pressure-free workshop where you'll learn: How to shift from parent mode to lover modeThe anatomy lesson you missed in schoolA simple way to practice sexual feedbackHow to stop relying on mind reading and start creating crave-worthy sex$27 | Live + Replay Included. GRAB IT HERE Sex doesn't get better by trying harder. It gets better when you get curious.

Send us a text Welcome to Season 2! We're kicking things off with a hard truth: If sex feels awkward, disconnected, or just plain off, you might be sabotaging your own sex life without realizing it. In this episode, I'm sharing three traps that quietly kill intimacy — even in the most loving relationships — and what you can do to turn things around. We'll talk about: Why "special occasion sex" backfiresThe performance mindset that ruins the momentThe myth of instant arousalWhy mind reading is not a turn-on (spoiler: communication is) Plus, I've got details for my LIVE Valentine's Day Workshop coming up on February 14. It's just $27, with two time slots to choose from. No pressure. No awkward moments. Just a playful, private way to reconnect — solo or with your partner. Save your spot here: https://intimacyafterkids.com/colour-me-curious Subscribe to the show for weekly conversations about intimacy, confidence, and real-life sex without the shame.

Send us a text Is your relationship feeling more like roommates than romantic partners? You're not alone—and you're not stuck. In this episode, I'm walking you through the proven framework that's helping couples reconnect and rebuild intimacy in a real, practical way. We'll talk about: The four phases of intimacy every couple experiencesWhy sex after kids matters more than you think — for your whole familyHow to break out of frustration and get back to each otherThis is the episode for you if you're craving honest conversations, clear steps, and a renewed connection with your partner in 2026. 💌 Want early access to my Valentine’s Day offer?  Join the list here → https://intimacyafterkids.com/ Got thoughts or questions about this episode? I’d love to hear from you. Shoot me a message or tag me on Instagram @Intimacyafterkids

Send us a text Have you ever had sex end in shutdown, rushing, or unexpected emotion, and neither of you knew what just happened? In this intimate episode of the Sex After Kids Podcast, I explore why sex can feel heavy, confusing, or emotionally charged for couples, even when there is love and desire on both sides. This episode is for you if: One partner shuts down, goes numb, or gets emotional during sexThe other feels rejected or unsure how to helpSex gets rushed just to get through itA body feels unfamiliar after babies, trauma, surgery, or perimenopauseI share my personal story of spending years fighting her body and how learning one key somatic skill, along with her partner learning how to support instead of fix, created the biggest shift in their sex life. You'll learn why these patterns are nervous system responses, not failures, and how couples can start moving back toward safe, light, and enjoyable intimacy together. ✨ If this resonates, book a free Spark Session to get unstuck and find your way back to easy, fun sex again. BOOK HERE

Send us a text Why do you feel unchosen, unsexy, and alone, even when your relationship looks "fine"? If you're the one always initiating hard conversations, tracking emotional distance, or trying to "fix" disconnection... you may be managing the emotional labor of the relationship by yourself. And over time, that role quietly erodes safety, intimacy, and desire, not because love disappears, but because the mutuality does. In this final episode of our 4-part Mental Load series, we explore: What "managing the relationship" actually looks like (hint: it's not just planning date night)Why emotional labor is real labor, especially when it comes to sex and repairHow the manager–assistant dynamic kills erotic energy on both sidesThe anxious–avoidant loop that drives overfunctioning and shutdownA reframe that changes everything (without blaming your partner)One weekly check-in that can start restoring connection right nowThis isn't about calling your partner out. It's about calling out a system that's hurting both of you, and learning how to change the dance. ✨ Want to rebuild connection and desire, together?  Book a free Spark Session to explore if Naked Fun Comeback is the right next step for your relationship. Click to BOOK HERE!

Send us a text How do you actually share the mental load without constant fighting, resentment, or feeling like you’re doing it all? This is part 3 of a 4-part series on the mental load — and today, we're getting practical. I'm sharing how my partner and I used the Fair Play Method by Eve Rodsky to manage the mental load in our house — what worked, what didn't, and how we adapted it for real life with kids, neurodivergence, and wildly different nervous systems. We talk about: Why Fair Play is not about 50/50 — and what to aim for insteadWhat it actually means to "own" a taskThe mistake most couples make when they inventory choresHow staying in your own lane can feel lighter than "helping"And how we started with just 5–10 daily grind cardsPlus, my honest take on the Fair Play book itself — when it's helpful, and when it might make things harder (especially if your partner is already feeling defensive). This episode is about making the invisible visible — without turning your relationship into a negotiation table. In the final episode of this series, we'll talk about the mental load of sex... and who carries responsibility for tending the relationship itself.

Send us a text If talking about the mental load already feels like walking into a fight, this episode is for you. Because most mental load conversations don’t fail due to bad intentions — they fail because couples are stuck in an unspoken manager–assistant dynamic that kills safety, teamwork, and desire. In this episode, we unpack: Why the mental load isn't just about chores, but responsibility for the life you chose A simple checklist for each of you to assess your role in this dance and what you can shift.  A step-by-step structure for opening this conversation without triggering defensiveness How resentment and disconnection show up in your sex life This is a grounded, practical episode for couples who want to feel like teammates again — not managers and assistants. ✨ Want support having this conversation?  Book a Spark Session — a 30-minute guided conversation to help you talk about what’s actually happening and decide what to change next. BOOK HERE - https://www.intimacyafterkids.com/calendar

Send us a text If the two of you feel like you're living in the same house but carrying completely different worlds, this episode will hit home. Welcome to Mental Load 101. This is the first in a four episode series that explains why resentment is high, intimacy is low, and why you keep having the same fights no matter how many systems or chore charts you try. In today's episode: • What the mental load really is and why it is invisible but exhausting • How gender scripts sneak back in after kids even in equal relationships • Why one partner goes into hyper controlling mode while the other shuts down • How this dynamic kills desire, safety, and emotional connection • Why it feels like you are fighting each other when you are actually fighting a pattern This series will change how you see everything. Want real time support?  Book a free Spark Session. It is a 30 minute call where we map out what is happening in your relationship and how to move forward with less resentment and more connection.  👉http://www.intimacyafterkids.com/calendar Or grab my free guide, Touch Again Tonight.  👉 https://intimacyafterkids.com/touch-again-tonight  Next episode we'll explore your first step toward peace, partnership, and intimacy again.

Send us a text Porn often feels like the easier option — no pressure, no rejection, no emotional work. But when it becomes your go-to outlet, it can quietly chip away at intimacy, connection, and confidence... without you even noticing. This episode isn't about shame. It's about clarity. We're unpacking the real impact of porn in relationships — especially if you're a dad, a man, or the higher-desire partner in your relationship. We're diving into: Why so many men learned sex through pornHow porn becomes a coping tool for emotional overwhelmWhat the neuroscience says about arousal and habit loopsWhy porn use isn't always about attractionThe difference between healthy vs. harmful useHow mindful masturbation can reshape desireWhat reconnection looks like (without pressure or shame) Whether you're feeling disconnected or stuck in a cycle that doesn't feel great — this conversation will help you see what’s really going on... and what to do next. 💡 Join the 14-Day Roommates to Romance Challenge  For higher-libido partners (especially men) ready to rebuild connection — without pressure, awkward talks, or performance stress. Includes:  ✓ Mindful Masturbation Method  ✓ Rejection Recovery Toolkit  ✓ Daily bite-sized guidance Just $9 — Start now: intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romance

Send us a text If you're the higher-libido partner and every "not tonight" feels like a gut-punch, this episode might change everything. Because it's not the rejection that turns her off — it's how you respond afterward. Most men were never taught what to do when sex disappears after babies, stress, or burnout. When connection feels out of reach, every "no" can trigger shame, pressure, or shutdown. But your reaction in that moment? It's either creating safety... or silently killing desire. In this episode: Why rejection feels personal (and how to stop spiralling)The "pressure energy" that shuts her body downHow the chaser dynamic kills attractionWhat her nervous system is really responding toThe 3-step shift to rebuild connection and safety (yes, starting tonight) Ready to change the dynamic this week? Join the 14-Day Roommates to Romance Challenge - my exact framework for reducing pressure, rebuilding safety, and bringing back the flirt. 👉 Just $9: intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romance

Send us a text You keep initiating. She keeps pulling away. If you're a dad (or higher-libido partner) hearing "stop pressuring me," this is for you. You're not broken, creepy, or needy — you're reaching for connection with the only tool you've got. Let's show you a better one. Try my Roommates to Romance Challenge to create connection, rebuild trust, and bring the flirt back (for less than a latte). -- https://intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romance Have takeaways? Comment below or DM me on Instagram, what part hit hardest for you: IG - https://www.instagram.com/intimacyafterkids/?hl=en Or check out my website for more information: https://intimacyafterkids.com

Send us a text Why do dads seem to shut down after kids,  or push for sex that doesn't feel connected? Dan Doty has spent 20 years working with men and boys in deeply intimate spaces. In this episode, he shares why sex often feels like survival for dads, and why so many men feel emotionally orphaned after becoming parents. If your partner seems checked out or constantly initiating (and you're stuck in resentment, shutdown, or confusion)... this episode is a must. We unpack the unspoken emotional world of fatherhood, fragility, and the deeply misunderstood role sex plays for men after kids. In this episode: The male version of "matrescence" (yes, it's real)How dads grieve lost intimacy,  and why they can't say itWhat not to do when you're feeling sexually rejectedHow to talk about sex without spiralling into blame Join the Roommates to Romance Challenge: Create connection without pressure. Flirt again. And turn "not tonight" into "let's stay up late"  👉 intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romance Share your takeaways with me on Instagram → @intimacyafterkids Tools + more support → intimacyafterkids.com

Send us a text If you’re tired of hearing "not tonight," this episode is for you. For the partner who is asking for sex all the time, facing constant rejection feels personal. It chips away at your confidence and makes you want to stop trying altogether. But what if the "no" isn't about you at all? This episode is the final installment of our Perimenopause + Intimacy series, and it's a masterclass in initiation. We explore why your old moves might be backfiring and how to approach your partner in a way that calms their nervous system and opens the door for desire. Get out of the roommate rut and back into romance, without pressure or awkward sex talks. 👉 intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romance In this episode: Why your partner’s "no" is information, not rejection.The 3 dynamics that are sabotaging your attempts at initiation.How to lead with confidence (without being pushy).The power of pressure-free affection to rebuild the runway for sex.Say Hi or share your takeaway: @IntimacyAfterKids on Instagram  More support + resources: https://intimacyafterkids.com

Send us a text If you've ever found yourself wondering, "Who even am I right now?" - you're not alone. This episode is a must-listen for couples navigating midlife, marriage, and the hormonal rollercoaster known as perimenopause (and andropause — yes, it's a thing). My guest Brooke Davis gets real about how these changes can wreck emotional regulation and connection if we’re not prepared. We talk about: The invisible link between hormones and relationship breakdowns How decent marriages fall apart in midlife, and what to do instead Practical ways to rebuild emotional safety, communication, and intimacy 💥 PSA: This season of life doesn't have to end in divorce or dead bedrooms. But it does require new tools.

Send us a text If your partner's libido seems MIA since perimenopause showed up or if you are wondering where your own went, this episode is for you. We're unpacking what's really going on with libido changes in this season, and how to stop treating each other like broken sex robots. This is part 2 of our Perimenopause + Intimacy series, and today's convo includes the science of libido, nervous system safety, responsive vs spontaneous desire, and why your body (or your partner's) might just need a different kind of invite. 🎧 What you’ll hear: What perimenopause does to libido (and what it doesn't) The gas/brake system of desire, and how to use it The mindset shift that gets you out of "maybe someday" mode Why "fixing" things isn't the goal, co-creating is  Hot tip: If you're the higher libido partner, check out the Roommates to Romance Challenge — it's $9 and stupid practical.  👉 intimacyafterkids.com/roommates-to-romance DM or share your takeaway: https://www.instagram.com/intimacyafterkids/?hl=en