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Life has thrown me some unexpected challenges recently, forcing me to confront fear, uncertainty, and some uncomfortable truths about myself. In this episode, I reflect on the importance of self-awareness, boundaries, connection, and the realization that just because I've stopped gambling doesn't mean I've stopped having things to work on. I also talk about the challenges of working in gambling recovery while protecting my own, some lessons I've learned the hard way, and where I see The Modern Meeting going from here.  If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. Email me anytime at [email protected] Visit The Website! - www.themodernmeeting.com

Four different breaking points. Four different paths back. For this special Recovery Month episode of The Modern Meeting, Adam continues his conversation with Rachel M., Stephen B., Jonathan M., and Mandy S., four people in recovery from four very different forms of gambling. Part 2 begins with the moment each of them knew something had to change. From a phone call made from a moving car, to ninety days in treatment, to a conversation on a beach that changed everything, they share their last bets, what finally led them to ask for help, and the different paths they’ve taken in recovery. The conversation ends with each of them speaking directly to the person who may be listening, recognizing pieces of their own story, and wondering whether it’s time to make a change. The experiences, opinions, and language shared by guests are their own. The Vermont Council on Gaming & Health supports person-centered, non-stigmatizing approaches to gambling-related harm and does not endorse language that stigmatizes individuals experiencing gambling problems or gambling disorder. If gambling is affecting you or someone you care about, support is available. 📞 Call 1-800-GAMBLER 💬 Chat live 24/7 at VTGamblingHelp.org 🤝 Connect with a Peer Support Specialist who understands the recovery journey 💙 Access free, confidential support and treatment resources 🚫 Ask about Vermont’s Voluntary Self-Exclusion Program https://liquorandlottery.vermont.gov/exclusion-list RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE The Vermont Council on Gaming & Health is recruiting people in Vermont with lived experience for a special Lived Experience Advisory Panel. Interested in getting involved? Email [email protected]. This special Recovery Month episode of The Modern Meeting is supported by the Vermont Council on Gaming & Health.

Gambling addiction doesn’t always look the same. Sports betting. Online casinos. Scratch tickets. Casino gambling. The games may be different, but the experiences underneath them can be remarkably similar. In this special Recovery Month episode, Adam is joined by Rachel M., Stephen B., Jonathan M., and Mandy S., four people whose gambling took very different forms. In Part 1 of Different Games, Shared Experiences, they talk about how gambling entered their lives, how it progressed, and what life looked like when it was at its worst. The conversation explores chasing losses, secrecy, financial consequences, lying and manipulation, isolation, the accessibility of online gambling, and the mental obsession that can make stopping feel impossible. From sports betting and online casinos to scratch tickets and traditional casino gambling, their stories show just how differently gambling addiction can develop while revealing the experiences that can connect people across every form of gambling. If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. Email me anytime at [email protected] If gambling is affecting you or someone you care about, support is available. 📞 Call 1-800-GAMBLER 💬 Chat live 24/7 at VTGamblingHelp.org 🤝 Connect with a Peer Support Specialist who understands the recovery journey 💙 Access free, confidential support and treatment resources 🚫 Ask about Vermont’s Voluntary Self-Exclusion Program: Vermont Voluntary Self-Exclusion Program RECOVERY IS POSSIBLE The Vermont Council on Gaming & Health is recruiting people in Vermont with lived experience for a special Lived Experience Advisory Panel. Interested in getting involved? Email [email protected] This special Recovery Month episode of The Modern Meeting is sponsored by VTGamblingHelp.org, with additional support from the Vermont Council on Gaming & Health.

Janice Johnson Dowd is in long-term recovery from alcohol. Her daughter Katie Dowd Walker was a teenager watching it happen. Together they host the podcast Recovering Relationships, and they sat down with Adam to talk about the part of addiction most people never hear about: what it does to a family, and how long it takes to come back from. Janice spent her whole career in the addiction field and swore she'd never become an alcoholic. Katie shares the exact moment she knew something was wrong, and why she still carries guilt about it. And they get honest about the years they were estranged, and the thing nobody warned either of them about, that getting sober was only the beginning. If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. Email me anytime at [email protected] Connect with Janice & Katie: Website: https://www.janicejohnsondowd.com/ Recovering Relationships Podcast (YouTube): https://www.youtube.com/@RecoveringRelationshipsPodcast Book — Rebuilding Relationships in Recovery: https://www.amazon.com/Rebuilding-Relationships-Recovery-Addiction-science-based/dp/B0D66G562C

Psychotherapist and gambling specialist Sean Bourgeoise joins The Modern Meeting to break down what effective gambling treatment actually looks like. We talk about why focusing entirely on not gambling can keep gambling at the center of your life, creating space between an urge and a bet, rebuilding trust in yourself, and Sean’s “Fire Your Evil Caddy” approach to responding to mistakes. Later, I take Sean back to 2021, a year before my final bet, and become the version of myself who was still gambling, chasing losses, making promises I couldn’t keep, and believing the next win could fix everything. Sean treats it like a real therapy session, challenging my old thinking in real time and showing what gambling-specific treatment might have looked like before I was ready to stop. If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. Email me anytime at [email protected]

Mary Santora is 118 days removed from her last bet, but she isn't pretending the desire disappeared with it. In Part 2, she's brutally honest about what early recovery actually looks like: still romanticizing gambling, still missing it every day, and not ready to say she'll never gamble again. She opens up about the casino session that finally pushed her to self-exclude, choosing a five-year ban instead of a lifetime one, and sometimes staying in bed just so she doesn't have time to drive to a casino. But the conversation becomes about something bigger than gambling. When Mary talks about missing the escape, the excitement, the zoning out, the numbing, it turns into a realization about the pattern that's followed her whole life: school, comedy, alcohol, gambling, all different ways of avoiding what she didn't want to feel. What follows is an emotional, unscripted conversation about surrender, discomfort, and learning how to stop running. If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. Email me anytime at [email protected]

Mary Santora is a nationally touring stand-up comedian with two full-length specials that hit number one, and this is the first time she's telling her gambling story anywhere outside a GA room. Mary grew up poor in Cleveland, the daughter of a severe gambling addict, in a house where cards, scratch-offs, and trips to the horse track were just what a childhood looked like. In Part 1 of our conversation, she talks about a father she could only ever seem to connect with at a casino, a mouth that got her into as much trouble as it got her out of, and how the thing she was raised inside of slowly became her own. If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. Email me anytime at [email protected]

For those of you who've been here since the beginning, you've heard a lot of this before, scattered across ninety-something cold opens. For those of you who haven't, here it is: my story, start to finish, in one sitting, for the first time. Uncle Rick and a craps game on my grandmother's carpet when I was nine. A panic attack in college that turned into a year of my life I still can't fully explain. Countless "fresh starts" in countless cities that were never actually about starting fresh. A craps roll that should have been the best night of my gambling life and turned out to be the worst thing that ever happened to me. Last Bet: February 8, 2022.  If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. Email me anytime at [email protected] The Modern Meeting is supported by Evive! Evive meets you exactly where you are.  Download Evive today or visit www.getevive.com

Austin P sits down with Adam just after celebrating one year without a bet and a day away from celebrating one year sober from alcohol. Austin first recognized his gambling problem more than a decade ago, eventually attending GA and going to inpatient treatment in 2015. Austin talks with Adam about his first experience with treatment, why he believes it didn’t stick, the progression of his gambling, the role alcohol played, and the events that led him back into recovery nearly ten years later. They also discuss what the last year has looked like as Austin works to rebuild his life, his relationships, and the trust that was lost along the way. If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. Email me anytime at [email protected] The Modern Meeting is supported by Evive! Evive meets you exactly where you are.  Download Evive today or visit www.getevive.com

Jimmy Morris is a compulsive gambler in recovery from Chicago, and the host of the podcast Gambling Recovery: Taking Back Your Life. Jimmy grew up in Little Italy, where everyone gambled and everyone knew everyone. He got introduced to a bookie in high school, and what started as something to kill time with his friends turned into something else entirely. He spent years going in and out of the rooms, admitting he had a problem the whole time and still unable to put it down. He got into fights that nearly killed people, did a stretch in county jail, and watched the disease reach into every corner of his life, long after the money stopped being the point. If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. Email me anytime at [email protected] The Modern Meeting is supported by Evive! Evive meets you exactly where you are.  Download Evive today or visit www.getevive.com

Back in 2016, I took another bailout from my Dad, but this time it came up with some serious strings attached. Then it's the full NCPG recap. Four days in Nashville...from my first presentation of Addiction Time Capsule and the conversations that meant the most to me, to karaoke, throwing out my back in the dumbest way imaginable, and why I left feeling more hopeful about the future of gambling recovery than I did when I arrived. If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. Email me anytime at [email protected] The Modern Meeting is supported by Evive! Evive meets you exactly where you are.  Download Evive today or visit www.getevive.com

John B. is a compulsive gambler in recovery from Oxnard, California with over 20 years since his last bet. In 1994, John moved to Las Vegas to get away from drugs and alcohol, only to find gambling waiting for him there. He talks about what those years looked like, how long it took him to admit he was a compulsive gambler, and the turning point that finally got him into the rooms for good.  He talks about what 20 years of recovery has actually given him, and why he still shows up to meetings after all this time.  If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. Email me anytime at [email protected] The Modern Meeting is supported by Evive! Evive meets you exactly where you are.  Download Evive today or visit www.getevive.com

As long as people keep struggling with gambling, and refuse to go to meetings, I will keep talking about them. This week I posed a question to the listeners who are in recovery: tell me a misconception that you had about meetings before you attended them, or a reason why you were hesitant. 18 people answered. They ranged from "fear of speaking" to "thinking they weren't worthy." All of them valid, and almost all of them proven wrong. And if you've never walked into a room, there's a good chance at least one of these is the exact thing holding you back too. If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. Email me anytime at [email protected] The Modern Meeting is supported by Evive! Evive meets you exactly where you are.  Download Evive today or visit www.getevive.com

You've heard Adam talk about his clean date, February 8th, 2022, and the meeting in Austin, Texas that changed everything. Rocky is the man who chaired that meeting. By a coincidence neither of them planned, this conversation was recorded on July 2nd, the exact day Rocky made his last bet 34 years ago. He takes us back to the beginning: the fraternity, the bookies, the loans he talked his way into, the trip to Vegas that hooked him, and the night in a condo alone when he finally called the number on the back of a lottery ticket. He also gets into the harder stuff, why he says his real problem was never gambling, the moment his recovery actually took off, and the thing he believes compulsive gamblers need more than any other addict. And Adam finally gets to say something to Rocky, in person, that he's been carrying for over four years. If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. Email me anytime at [email protected] The Modern Meeting is supported by Evive! Evive meets you exactly where you are.  Download Evive today or visit www.getevive.com

If you grew up in the '90s, Chris Farley was probably the funniest person alive to you. Tom Farley is his older brother, and he's in recovery himself. For years Tom told Chris's story while quietly avoiding his own. In this conversation he gets into both. He talks about the afternoon a sober musician made him want something he didn't have, the friend who tricked him into his first meeting, and the night he watched his famous brother walk into a run-down room in Hell's Kitchen and say something Tom never expected to hear. He gets into what it was like to be surrounded by people and feel completely alone, the one thing he believes pulled Chris back under, and the relationship he still has with his brother almost thirty years after he died. If you’re struggling right now, you’re not alone. Email me anytime at [email protected] The Modern Meeting is supported by Evive! Evive meets you exactly where you are.  Download Evive today or visit www.getevive.com