Advertise on podcast: Long Haul Marriage Roadcast

Nothing kills affection quite like feeling like you're carrying the entire marriage by yourself. It's not about "husbands do this, and wives do that."  And the question isn't whether everything is exactly 50/50.  The realy question is whether both spouses believe the marriage is being carried by BOTH of them. In part 6 of our 10 part series, we discuss more than just the "division of labor" in our homes.  We discuss the importance of being seen, noticed, appreciated, and truly valued as a team mate, a partner in the marriage who making valuable contributions to the health of the family.  We talk about how many wives feel they carry the emotional/mental load in the home, and what husbands can do to lighten that burden.   When it comes to housework, kids, scheduling, cooking, yard work, household maintenance, finances - who is doing the lion's share, are both spouses pulling their weight, and most importantly, are we noticing our spouse's efforts, and are we verbalizing our appreciation.  It can go a long way!! Our challenge this week: List what you notice your partner doing, what you feel your partner doesn't notice you doing, and things that you feel your partner does appreciate you doing.  Trade lists - no defense, no judgement.  See what honest conversation around this can produce in your marriage.  If you need a reset in this area, let this be a start. Bonus challenge - Notice what happens when you are thankful for your spouse in specific areas, and actually express that to them this week! As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage! We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast.  For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org.  Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter. To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage.  To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email [email protected], or [email protected]. Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR

Money doesn't always cause every marriage problem, but it has a remarkable ability to expose them. In today's episode (part 5 of 10 part series), we discuss all things finances!!   We touch on the different attitudes spouses bring to the subject of our money - spender vs. saver, different priorities, family of origin influences, and more.  We key on the importance budgeting, yes, but more on communication and openly sharing emotions that might be underlying heated conversations around debt, unequal income, "my money/ your money", financial fears, and even the way we parent our kids and 'their" money.    One spouse sees $200 spent on something "unnecessary."  The other sees "I work hard.  Why can't I enjoy spending on whatever I want?"  We are NOT arguing about $200.  We are arguing about values, control, and respect. Our challenge this week: Each spouse independently creates three catergories - Needs, Wants, Future, and then compare the lists. We hope this creates new conversations that are more productive, giving each spouse more empathy and insight into where the other is coming from, and creates a united front to tackle this difficult subject as a team! As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage! We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast.  For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org.  Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter. To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage.  To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email [email protected], or [email protected]. Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR

Have you ever had an argument with your spouse and halfway through thought, "Wait, we've had this exact argument 100 times!"? In part 4 of our 10 part series, we discuss recurring arguments, and what's really going on beneath the surface which leads to escalation, stonewalling, defensiveness, criticism, contempt, scorekeeping, and unresolved wounds. The argument is usually NOT about the argument...The dirty dishes mean: "I don't feel appreciated."  The money argument may mean: "I don't feel secure."  The sex argument may mean: "I don't feel desired." We end the episode with our weekly challenge: Next argument, stop and ask: "What are we really fighting about?" then: "What do you need from me right now?" We'd love to hear from you - connect with us on social media, or through the website! As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage! We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast.  For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org.  Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter. To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage.  To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email [email protected], or [email protected]. Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR

In part 3 of our 10 part series, Brian and Jamie talk openly and candidly about sex - why so many couples who love each other very much can feel rejected, frustrated, embarrassed, or completely misunderstood - and how many couples don't know how to talk about it. They discuss: Different levels of desire, Initiation, Rejection, Affection vs. sex, Frequency, Physical touch, Resentment, Sex becoming transactional, hollywood vs. reality, how Christian upbringing can affect attitudes toward sex, and more. They give the weekly challenge - having an honest conversation with your spouse - "What makes me feel desired?" and "What makes physical intimacy difficult for me?" We hope you grow in intimacy, and desire, and if you've been ignoring your sexual relationship, that this episode will help you get back on track for some better sex in your marriage. As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage! We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast.  For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org.  Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter. To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage.  To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email [email protected], or [email protected]. Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR

Welcome to our 10 part series - 10 Things That Can Make or Break Your Marriage In part 2, Brian and Jamie continue talking about emotional disconnection in marriage, and why many couples begin to lose connection, feeling more like rooommates than lovers.  They drill down on how couples begin to gradually focus more on logistics, especially when parenting, and less on the foundational friendship that attracted, and connected them in the first place. They discuss the how parenting, while obviously necessary, can sometimes "replace" the marriage, leaving many spouses feeling emotionally neglected, and under appreciated. They talk about the importance of intentional connection, BEFORE waiting to "feel close."  With the chicken or the egg analogy, they emphasize that connection often follows intentional time together.  So we need to make that happen! They end the episode with the challenge of the week - One hour with no logistics! No kids, no phones, and no TV!!   Take the challenge, and as always, let us know how you did! As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage! We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast.  For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org.  Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter. To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage.  To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email [email protected], or [email protected]. Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR

Welcome to our 10 part series - 10 Things That Can Make or Break Your Marriage In part 1, Jamie and Brian discuss why many couples begin to lose connection, feeling more like rooommates than lovers.  They talk about living in the same house, sleeping in the same bed, raising the same kids, but slowly becoming strangers.  They explain the difference between just talking, and truly communicating to connect on a deep, emotional, intimate level. They discuss the common mistakes many couples make, (that they have also made many times), and then give some practical "rules" for good fostering good, productive communication. They end the episode with the challenge of the week - The 10 Minute Conversation - with no phones, and no TV!!   Take the challenge, and let us know how you did! As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage! We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast.  For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org.  Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter. To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage.  To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email [email protected], or [email protected]. Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR

Is checking your partner's phone ever ok?  Should married couples share their location?  Can you have a best friend of the opposite sex when you're married?  When does a friendship cross the line, and what constitutes an emotional affair?  Do you really have to tell your spouse everything?  Is flirting cheating?  So many questions... Brian and Jamie discuss all these questions, and they believe, it all boils down to trust.  Our culture would have us believe we can't trust anyone anymore.  And yes, our trust has been broken.  Many of us have been victims of betrayal, sometimes in previous relationships, and sometimes by our spouse.  Navigating rebuilding trust can be extremely challenging, and many times, these questions come in to play, especially in light of betrayal wounds.   Healing is possible, trust is essential, and many of the questions around appropriate boundaries with co-workers and friends become clearer, the more invested you are in your marriage. We hope you enjoy the roadcast! As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage! We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast.  For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org.  Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter. To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage.  To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email [email protected], or [email protected]. Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR

As we settle back in for another season, we wanted to talk about Belief, vs, Hope, specifically, how they differ, but more importantly, how to choose a life of hope, when beliefs (on any topic) might seem less than certain at best, or downright bleak at worst. Beliefs drive everything in life, and in our marriages.  How we choose to show up, regardless of how our spouse is "treating us," is our choice.  When we learn to "de-personalize" our spouse's sin, (whenever and however they miss the mark), and stay true to ourselves, and our own identity, we are released to be benevolent toward them, giving them the space to soften their hearts on their own.   And regardless what we believe to be true in our lives, in our marriage, about our kids, our jobs, our faith, or even ourselves, choosing to ACT hopeful, is doing the very thing that Christ meant by "daily carrying our cross." We hope you enjoy our conversation today!  Welcome back. As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage! We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast.  For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org.  Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter. To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage.  To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email [email protected], or [email protected]. Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR

After hearing Tucker Carlson's recent reaction to the statement from Father Stephen De Young that marriages that have been blown up, and almost destroyed, can truly be saved and transformed, Jamie and I wanted to discuss and EMPHASIZE that yes, we see troubled marriages transformed ALL THE TIME!  I've witnessed it, first hand, for 30 years.  That's why we do what we do.  With two willing partners committing to change, doing the hard work, and staying consistent - with the power of God infusing the whole process with the Holy Spirit, we see it - and, in fact, we've lived it! Today, we discuss what is at the root of many of the eventual bombs that blow up a marriage, and the necessary work to heal previous trauma, and the lies that the wounds bring, before marriage restoration can occur.  And many times, it's not a restoration of the old, but a building of a brand new marriage, on a new foundation with two people that are living in their true identity in Christ, rather than the broken one that life has given them.   We are here for you, no matter what state you find yourself or your relationship in. As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage! We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast.  For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org.  Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter. To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage.  To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email [email protected], or [email protected]. Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR

After several recent conversations with young couples about all the uncertainty in today's world, and the sometimes crippling anxiety it produces, Brian and Jamie talk about a mindset shift, and several life hacks that will help mitigate the stress and anxiety, if not totally wipe it out, completely! Acknowledging that life is hard, and yes, the world is a crazy place - perhaps like never before - Brian and Jamie are choosing to practice another way of thinking, trusting that God really does have their backs, no matter what. We hope that today's episode encourages you in your struggles, no matter what they are! We love you and are here for you. As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage! We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast.  For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org.  Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter. To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage.  To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email [email protected], or [email protected]. Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR

Happy belated Mother's Day to all you moms!  (And Happy Birthday to Jamie!! 5/11) In today's abbreviated episode, Brian and Jamie discuss the value in celebrating our loved ones - taking the time and effort to make feel special, those who are special to us!  It doesn't take booking a trip to Greece or Paris (although, 'she' wouldn't mind those at all!), to make your spouse feel seen, appreciated, and loved. Many of us grew up in homes where we celebrated big - all the things.  And some of us learned that celebrations are for other families.  Many of us shy away from anyone "making a big deal" of us, perhaps fearing that we're not worthy of the fuss.  Wherever you find yourself, it's never too late to add the practice into your life of celebrating those you love - the big stuff, and even the small stuff.  We can never be celebrated too much! Plan your next celebration today!  In the words of Kook and The Gang, "Celebrate good times, come on!" As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage! We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast.  For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org.  Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter. To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage.  To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email [email protected], or [email protected]. Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR

As a reminder in Small Business week, Long Haul Marriage is a donor supported 501c3, and is made possible by generous donations from people like you.  If you would consider sponsoring us with a monthly, annual, or one time donation, please visit https://longhaulmarriage.betterworld.org, and we thank you in advance! In today's episode, Brian and Jamie discuss the concept of MARGIN in our lives.  They admit to not always having enough, and the battle it is to truly add it into the rhythm of our busy, hectic schedules.  Jamie shares her mental struggle of always feeling like she needs to be "doing something else," robbing her of truly settling in, enjoying whatever activity she's doing in the moment.  She talks about practical ways of "practicing" saying no to the pesky inner voice that is urging her to get on to the next thing, learning the way of valuing what she's chosen to do (or who she's with) enough to stay with it, not feeling pressure or guilt to move.  We hope you can all learn to enjoy life, allowing yourself to be content in the moment, saying no to all the competing voices clamoring for your time and attention, practicing PRESENCE as you build margin into your life. As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage! We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast.  For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org.  Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter. To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage.  To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email [email protected], or [email protected]. Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR

It's definitely storm season in North Texas, but it's also potential storm season in your marriage, no matter what season you find yourself in. In today's episode, Jamie is inspired to talk about the unforeseen storms that crop up, and many times, catastrophically hit out of nowhere in our marriages, and in our lives.  She and Brian discuss the importance of preparing BEFORE the storms hit, as best you can, and then the best way through once they are on your doorstep.   They give practical tools that helped them when they faced some of the unpredicted storms in their marriage, as well as good advice on how to create safe spaces for everyone in your family to grieve how they need to grieve, and how to honor the different ways we all handle challenging times. Be listening near the end of the episode for when Jamie gets caught off guard, overwhelmed with emotion as she recalled a memory of a thoughtful friend 27 years ago, and the impact that had, and is obviously, still having on her to this day.  This is a great reminder that Christ doesn't always protect us from the storms, but he wants us to have such a perspective, that we can sleep peacefully in the midst of the worst of them! As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage! We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast.  For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org.  Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter. To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage.  To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email [email protected], or [email protected]. Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR

In today's episode, Brian and Jamie share some thoughts about the value of friendship, and having couple friends.  They talk about some very special friendships that they've formed in their lives, and how thankful they are for them.  They challenge us all to be intentional about forming new relationships, stretching beyond our comfort zones, and being the couple to reach out first.  They ecourage meeting in your home - (people really couldn't care less about what it looks like) - heck, meet in the backyard - just get together!  We need each other! **Info about the marriage workshop that Brian mentioned: When: Fri and Sat, Apr. 17-18. Where: Eagle's View Church, 5440 W Bailey Boswell Rd, FW Registration Link Below: https://evc.churchcenter.com/registrations/events/3477925 As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage! We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast.  For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org.  Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter. To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage.  To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email [email protected], or [email protected]. Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR

In this week's episode, Jamie and Brian Good Wedding Friday, Jammin Saturday, Easter Sunday, and Excellent Monday.  They talk about their love for family time, especially when everyone hangs up, and hangs out!!  Jamie talks about her love of hosting family, and the PERFECT day Easter Sunday was.  Brian eventually shifts the conversation to what it means for us that "the tomb is empty."  So, Jesus is Risen - what does that mean for us?  If eternity has already begun, what does a risen, living Jesus mean for our lives right now?  Tune in and hear their answers to these questions, and their challenge to answer them for yourselves. As always, thanks for listening, and supporting Long Haul Marriage! We would love to hear from you - drop us a comment, or email us, and remember to share this podcast.  For more info, follow Brian and Jamie Hackney at www.longhaulmarriage.org.  Make sure to subscribe to receive our monthly newsletter. To schedule a coaching session with Brian and Jamie: https://calendly.com/longhaulmarriage.  To book LHM for a workshop or retreat, email [email protected], or [email protected]. Follow LHM on IG, FB, and TikTok. Music from #Uppbeat (free for Creators!): https://uppbeat.io/t/trinity/into-the-red License code: JS35QUTOPG2FFVDR