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⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes a discussion of suicidal ideation and access to a firearm following the end of Billy's marriage. Please listen with care. You can build a whole life around being the capable one. The guy everyone depends on. The one who has it handled. And still carry something underneath it that never got looked at. This week, Healthy Men-tality member "Billy" reads the journal entry he shared inside our community, a reflection on his marriage, his childhood, and what 16 weeks in the program has shown him about himself. For five years he tried to convince his wife she was enough, while a younger part of him quietly asked if he was. After his marriage ended, Billy had to confront how much of his identity and self-worth had become attached to being loved, needed and chosen by someone else. In this episode, we talk about:  Why functioning around a wound isn't necessarily the same thing as healing it The difference between wanting love and needing someone's love to believe you're lovable How fixing someone else's emotions can quietly become a way of regulating your own What Billy discovered about his fixer, people pleaser and protector The moment he realized he could support his daughter without needing to control her reaction Why doing the work repeatedly matters more than having one giant breakthrough Billy's first experience with breathwork... and why he was skeptical as hell going into it Why men need spaces where they can talk without immediately being fixed, judged or told to toughen up What changed when Billy stopped making other people's pain his responsibility If Billy's story feels familiar and you're wondering where to start, watch my free training here. Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Emotionally, I am your roommate. Legally, I am your wife. That's the answer "Peter" got when he finally asked his wife directly where they stood. They're still living together, still separated, still in a gray area neither of them has fully committed to leaving. This week Peter joins me for a coaching episode, and it goes deep. He's done real work on himself since the separation started, therapy, shadow work, rediscovering old hobbies, and still finds himself asking a hard question: am I doing this for me, or because I want everyone, including her, to see me doing well? In this episode: Why self-improvement can quietly become another form of people-pleasing The question that reveals whether your growth is genuine or performative Why true detachment includes letting go of positive validation too How outsourcing your self-worth puts enormous pressure on your partner Peter's fear that he's destined to repeat his father's patterns Why emotional cheating can feel safer than vulnerability with your actual partner The connection between people-pleasing, decision-making and attraction How Peter reduced his value to how well he could provide What to do when the "I'm not good enough" spiral starts The grief you may have to feel instead of trying to out-heal it Why becoming healthier doesn't guarantee your marriage will survive Peter's fear that divorce will leave him as "broken goods" The difference between looking for someone to complete you and bringing a complete version of yourself into a relationship And maybe the hardest part: You can become healthier, happier, more self-aware and more emotionally available… and the person you love still might not choose you. The work is learning how to choose yourself anyway. __________________________________________________________________________________ JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

You can be successful at work, disciplined with your goals, financially secure... and still have no idea why your relationship keeps falling apart. Because the pattern causing problems at home might not actually be a "relationship problem." In this episode, I'm joined by high-performance coach Brad Bizjack to talk about the subconscious beliefs and patterns running underneath how we show up in relationships, work, success and even the goals we say we want. And because apparently interviewing Brad wasn't vulnerable enough, I volunteered myself for a little live coaching. We get into: Why the same subconscious pattern can show up completely differently at work and at home A simple way to uncover beliefs you don't realize you're carrying My own belief about becoming more successful and potentially becoming less desirable to men The difference between needing a partner and wanting an interdependent partnership Why old relationship pain can make a safe person feel unsafe The 3 U's that can kill attraction for feminine energy The 3 C's that can kill attraction for masculine energy Why men need purpose outside of their relationship Why providing for your partner is about a hell of a lot more than money What Brad means when he says "success without fulfillment is failure" If this episode has you wondering what subconscious patterns are quietly running your life, Brad is hosting his free 5-day Success Accelerator experience. You'll identify what you actually want, uncover the beliefs and internal conflicts getting in the way, and start working through the patterns that keep creating the "two steps forward, three steps back" cycle. Join Brad's FREE Success Accelerator here: http://www.bradbizjack.com/a/2148328314/G9M6o6ZH  Where to find Brad: Instagram Youtube Rewire Your Mind w/ Brad Bizjack Podcast __________________________________________________________________________________ JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

What if being "healed" doesn't mean you never get triggered again? You can do therapy, nervous system work, breathwork, become incredibly self-aware... and still occasionally get defensive, shut down, raise your voice, say something you regret, or hurt your partner without intending to. Because you're human. In this episode, Tara breaks down the skill she thinks every relationship actually needs, and it's not "never get triggered again."  You'll hear: Why regulation doesn't mean never having an emotional reaction How defensiveness can disguise itself as "logic" The difference between intention and impact Why "I was just trying to help" probably isn't helping Questions that replace defensiveness with curiosity What accountability actually looks like beyond an apology How boundaries fit into repair when behavior doesn't change Tara's 3-question post-conflict "relationship debrief" Why learning to fight better can actually create more closeness If you're a man who wants to become more regulated, consistent, and emotionally safe in your relationship, Healthy Men-tality was built to help you practice these skills with coaching, accountability, and support. JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Danny loved his wife. He worked 10–14-hour days to provide for his family. His wife stayed home raising and homeschooling their children. From his perspective, he was doing what a husband and father was supposed to do. But emotionally, he kept everyone at arm's length. Danny carried a belief that eventually everyone leaves. So without really realizing what he was doing, he protected himself by never letting his wife completely in. When she was overwhelmed, he fixed. When conversations got uncomfortable, he checked out. When conflict showed up, he people-pleased. Eventually his wife told him she was done. At the same time, Danny was navigating an entirely different life-altering challenge after an accident left him a quadriplegic. When he joined Healthy Men-tality, he was living away from his wife and children in a rehab facility while trying to figure out whether his marriage could be rebuilt. At first, Danny attacked his healing the same way he attacked every other problem: learn the tools, check the boxes, fix it. And then he realized something… he was still making his wife responsible for whether his work was "working." In this episode, we talk about: Why changing to get a specific response from your partner eventually backfires The Healthy Masculine Blueprint lesson that shifted Danny from "doing this for her" to doing it for himself Why his wife initially pushed BACK when he started becoming more consistent The brutally simple thing his eight-year-old son told him about his parenting What Danny finally understood about his wife's mental load Why he freaked out when his nervous system finally started feeling calm How he learned to recognize when he was slipping back into old patterns Why making his wife and children his entire purpose was actually putting more pressure on them Finding purpose again after a spinal cord injury changed the way he saw himself What is happening in Danny's marriage now JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

This week's coaching episode is a behind-the-scenes look at an actual coaching call.  Our guest came in wanting help moving on from a 12-year relationship, still holding onto the belief that if he could just do things differently, it could still work. What we uncover instead is a pattern of people-pleasing and self-abandonment that goes back much further than this relationship, and what it actually takes to start choosing himself. In this coaching episode, we unpack: Why people-pleasing can make someone else's happiness feel like your responsibility The connection between self-worth, criticism, rejection, and relationship anxiety Why having needs doesn't automatically make you "clingy" or "needy" The difference between guilt, shame, and actual accountability How childhood experiences can quietly shape what feels familiar in adult relationships Why he kept abandoning himself to keep the relationship stable What fight + fawn responses can look like during conflict A simple breathing technique for regulating before walking back into a stressful environment How to start figuring out who you are after years of defining yourself through a relationship If you're listening and realizing you've spent years trying to become the person someone else needed you to be, maybe the next chapter isn't about getting them back. Maybe it's about getting you back. JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Your wife wants a divorce. She's cold. She won't talk. Maybe she refuses counseling. Maybe she's blaming you for everything that went wrong. And your brain has decided there's one thing you need to do: Figure her out. Why is she doing this? What happened to the woman you married? What could you say that would finally make her understand? In this episode, Tara is joined by divorce coach Rachael Sloan to talk about why men can become hyperfocused on their wife or ex during an unwanted divorce... and why understanding her usually isn't what gets you unstuck. Because when your nervous system believes your relationship, family, identity, or future is under threat, your brain does what it was designed to do: It finds the threat and locks onto it. And sometimes, that threat becomes her. They get into: Why knowing intellectually that you can't control her often changes absolutely nothing How survival mode creates tunnel vision during divorce Codependence vs. hyper-independence vs. actual interdependence Why becoming cold and detached isn't necessarily the same thing as becoming regulated The "white knight" identity and why some men repeatedly choose women they can rescue What happens when the woman you built your identity around saving no longer needs you Why some men don't realize how unhappy they were until the marriage ends The difference between emotional regulation and emotional repression Why grief may be one of the most important emotional skills a man can develop How learning to understand your own emotions can completely change how you show up with your kids One thing worth remembering from this episode: Sometimes there is no decision where you don't lose something. Stay, and something may have to be grieved. Leave, and something else may have to be grieved. The goal isn't to somehow engineer a life where you never experience loss, but to develop enough self-trust to know:  Whatever happens next, I can handle it. Where to find Rachael Sloan: Rachael's Free Masterclass  Website Instagram YouTube JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

You can have buddies you golf with, hunt with, work with, grab beers with and still have absolutely nobody in your life who knows what's actually going on with you. Chuck, Barrett, and Bob discovered the difference. All three joined Healthy Men-tality in August 2025. A year later, they're still here... because they found something they didn't want to give up: a community of men willing to be open, call each other out, and actually hold one another accountable. This week they join me to talk about why they stayed, what a year of mentoring new guys has taught them, and what it actually looks like when men do this work together instead of by themselves. We talk about: Why having male friends isn't necessarily the same as having male support The moment these guys started recognizing their own patterns in newer members Why people pleasing and codependency are so damn easy to see in somebody else What happens when a skeptical man finally tries breathwork Why some men come into coaching looking for validation instead of change The stories we create to justify behavior we already know isn't aligned with who we want to be Why integrity became such a huge part of their definition of emotional safety The difference between accountability and simply taking the blame Why an apology without changed behavior eventually means very little What men gain when somebody can say, "Brother, I've been there. And you're full of shit right now." One thing you'll hear from all three men? You are not the only man going through this. JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

What happens when you have the marriage, the family, the life you worked for... and somehow you still feel nothing? That's where "Earl" found himself. After more than 40 years with his wife, their marriage had been hanging by a thread. Earl knew something needed to change, but traditional therapy hadn't gotten him very far. Then he started looking at something he'd never really understood before: his own nervous system. In this episode, "Earl" joins Tara to talk about his experience inside Healthy Men-tality program and the dots he began connecting between a traumatic childhood experience, emotional suppression, dismissive-avoidant patterns, and the way he reacted to his wife decades later. And no, this isn't a story about becoming perfectly regulated. Earl will be the first one to tell you he still screws it up. But now he catches it. He understands it. He repairs it. And his family notices the difference. They talk about: The childhood trauma Earl never realized was still influencing his relationships Why suggestions or criticism from his wife could immediately put him on the defensive How keeping his parents at arm's length became keeping his wife at arm's length Why Earl initially wasn't sold on breathwork, and the session that changed his mind What happened when his wife finally started noticing the changes Why his wife decided to begin her own healing work The difference between knowing your patterns and actually changing them Why healing doesn't mean you stop getting dysregulated The surprising conversation Earl and Tara had about his capacity for joy What it means when you can tolerate pain... but struggle to stay present when life actually feels good Why Earl stayed in the Healthy Men-tality alumni community after his original 12 weeks ended How nervous system regulation started changing his relationship with his son, work and everyday conflict too One of Earl's biggest realizations? This work was worth doing regardless of what happened to his marriage. Because whether your relationship survives or not, you still have to live with the man you become next. JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

Most people think nervous system regulation is just another wellness buzzword. Take a deep breath. Meditate. Calm down. But what does it actually mean to regulate your nervous system when your body feels like everything is an emergency? In this week's episode, Tara sits down with Aleksandra Chojnicka, founder and CEO of Detox House, a nervous system resilience coach who helps high achievers build more capacity through breathwork, cold exposure, and practical somatic tools. Inside the episode: Why your nervous system mistakes uncertainty for danger What actually happens inside your body during a cold plunge How breathwork and cold exposure train emotional resilience Why "white-knuckling" discomfort reinforces survival mode The connection between childhood conditioning and relationship triggers How to stop outsourcing your sense of safety to your partner Practical ways to regulate your body before difficult conversations If you've ever caught yourself thinking... "I know better... so why do I keep reacting like this?" this episode will finally help you understand why. Where to find Aleksa Chojnacka Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedetoxhouse Youtube: https://www.youtube.com/@thedetoxhouse Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/find-your-freedom-by-detox-house/id1502023435 Website: https://www.detox-house.com/  __________________________________________________________________________________ JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

One of the hardest parts of separation isn't the loss of the relationship... It's the desperate hope that one day they'll finally understand your side. That they'll acknowledge what you carried. That they'll admit it wasn't all your fault. "Rob" applied to come on for coaching while going through a separation. He'd already taken responsibility for his side, but he was stuck needing his wife to acknowledge hers, and couldn't feel okay until she did. Tara helps him see what that need is really about, and what it's costing him. In this episode: Why accountability is not self-abandonment The hidden difference between defending yourself and making someone feel heard How people-pleasing slowly turns into resentment Why miscarriages, young children, and chronic stress can quietly disconnect couples The survival response underneath defensiveness Why your partner's validation cannot become the foundation of your healing The boundary shift that completely changed Rob's conversations with his wife What emotionally safe leadership actually looks like If you've ever found yourself thinking "If she would just acknowledge her part..." this conversation might completely change the way you see healing. JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

You did the work. You went to therapy, you changed how you show up, you really tried to become a better man. And it still wasn't enough to make her stay.  So now you're stuck asking yourself, why wasn't I enough?  If that question has been living in your head, this one's for you. "Todd" came into Healthy Men-tality trying to save his marriage. Instead, his wife left and quickly moved another man into her home around their three young kids, and Todd was left wading through some of the ugliest parts of his own self-worth. This is the story of how he came out the other side, not by winning her back, but by finding his worth from the inside. In this episode: Why people-pleasing quietly destroys your identity The difference between performing for approval and creating lasting change How nervous system regulation completely changed Todd's parenting What healthy boundaries actually look like during separation Why your self-worth cannot depend on your partner choosing you Navigating co-parenting when emotions are still running high The surprising shift that made Todd more confident in parenting, friendships, work, and life One of the biggest takeaways? You don't have to wait for someone else to validate your growth before becoming proud of who you're becoming. When you stop outsourcing your worth, everything changes. JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

The relationship advice you've heard your whole life might actually be keeping you stuck. "Happy wife, happy life." "Never go to bed angry." "Learn to compromise." Most of us were handed these ideas long before we ever understood relationships. They sound loving. They sound wise. But what if they're quietly creating resentment, self-abandonment, scorekeeping, and emotional distance instead? In this episode, Tara sits down with relationship and intimacy coach Monica Tanner to unpack some of the biggest myths couples still believe and what actually creates lasting connection. They explore why emotional safety isn't built through people-pleasing, why accountability is much more than saying "I'm sorry," and how collaboration creates healthier relationships than compromise ever could. Whether you're rebuilding your marriage, navigating conflict, or simply trying to become a healthier partner, this conversation offers a completely different lens on what strong relationships actually require. In this episode: Why compromise often creates resentment instead of connection The problem with "Happy Wife, Happy Life" What accountability actually looks like in a healthy relationship How consistency builds emotional safety Why happiness isn't your partner's responsibility The difference between collaboration and compromise Why "Never Go to Bed Angry" isn't always good advice Practical ways to communicate needs without blame or self-abandonment About Monica Tanner Monica Tanner is a relationship and intimacy coach certified in Relational Life Therapy and Sex Therapy. She's passionate about helping couples create stronger emotional and physical intimacy by challenging outdated relationship advice and replacing it with practical, collaborative skills that actually work in modern relationships. She is the author of Bad Marriage Advice and host of the Secrets of Happily Ever After podcast. Connect with Monica Website:https://monicatanner.com Book:https://badmarriageadvice.com Instagram:https://instagram.com/monitalksmarriage YouTube: https://youtube.com/@secretsofhappilyeverafter JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

How long are you going to keep punishing yourself for it? You hurt someone, or someone hurt you, and you're still carrying it, still replaying it, still waiting to feel like you've finally paid enough. If that's you, this one's worth your time. In this week's episode, Tara goes deep on forgiveness, the kind people get completely wrong.  Not letting someone off the hook, not pretending it didn't hurt, but choosing to stop carrying the weight so the suffering finally gets an end date. Whether you're the one who caused the hurt or the one who got hurt, it starts in the same place: forgiving yourself first. In this episode: Why forgiveness and reconciliation are not the same thing The hidden cost of staying stuck in resentment Why shame isn't accountability How to forgive yourself after hurting someone How to forgive someone without giving them unlimited access The difference between trust and blind trust Small ways to rebuild integrity after betrayal Why nervous system regulation matters more than apologies How to stop letting painful memories dictate your future relationships You don't earn your way out of shame by sitting in it. You choose your way out. JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.

⚠️ Trigger Warning: This episode includes conversations about suicide, suicidal ideation, depression, pornography addiction, childhood trauma, emotional abuse, and divorce. Please listen at your own pace. If these topics feel overwhelming right now, it's okay to come back to this episode when you're ready. You can spend years just getting through life, providing, showing up, going through the motions, while inside you don't feel much of anything at all. No real highs, no real lows, just a numbness you've stopped questioning. If that hits a little too close, this one's for you. One of our Healthy Men-tality alumni, "Joey," shares his whole story here, from being abandoned as a kid and never having anything explained to him, through a 20-year marriage that ended, all the way to the lowest point of his life and what came after. About six months into doing this work, he went from completely shut down to genuinely loving himself for the first time. His kids have noticed the change. He's playing music again. And the way he tells it will probably land for a lot of people listening. In this episode: How decades of numbness trace back to childhood wounds and the coping mechanisms built to survive them Why healing the inner child was the thing that unlocked everything for him How getting curious about your own feelings becomes the engine of the work Doing the work for yourself first, and why everyone around you benefits from that Giving yourself grace and taking full accountability at the same time How one regulated person can shift an entire co-parenting dynamic If you've been numb for longer than you'd like to admit, give this one a listen. JOIN MY FREE TRAINING HERE __________________________________________________________________________________ Interested in Nervous System Regulation tools? Join my healing community for breathwork + tools: unblockyourbs.com/saa   Connect with Tara: Follow @unblockyourbs on Instagram @unblockyourbs on TikTok   Watch the episodes on YouTube Book a 1:1 call with Tara Get the Nervous System Reset Toolkit Submit a question for an upcoming Podcast or LIVE __________________________________________________________________________________   Disclaimer: The content shared in this podcast is for informational and educational purposes only and should not be considered professional medical, mental health, or legal advice. I am not a licensed mental health professional or medical provider and cannot diagnose, treat, or prescribe medication for any condition. If you or someone you know is struggling, please ask for support from a licensed professional or contact a trusted organization in your area. In cases of crisis or emergency, please contact local authorities or a crisis hotline immediately. The views expressed in this podcast are my personal opinions and those of my guests. They are not intended to replace professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Thank you for listening responsibly.