Advertise on podcast: Self-Led in Bed, an IFS and Sexuality Podcast

Disclaimer: This episode contains discussions of psychosis, non-ordinary states, sexual trauma, transference, and adult sexuality. Listener discretion is advised. "I think full healing comes to a place where the voice just doesn't have to be disowned as something outside of me. It becomes me, a part of me." — Stephanie Mitchell Patty sits down with Stephanie Mitchell, a Certified IFS therapist specializing in non-ordinary states, psychosis, and complex developmental trauma for a personally revealing and intellectually adventurous conversation. Stephanie works at what she calls the pointy end of distress — with clients experiencing voices, visions, and states that often get labeled psychosis or schizophrenia — and explores with Patty how those experiences intersect with sexual dilemmas and trauma. They explore how voices and visions often carry what other parts are too afraid to know — including around sexuality, identity, and desire — and how IFS's commitment to curiosity rather than pathology creates a radically different kind of encounter with these experiences. They discuss sexual transference in the therapy room with unusual candor, the concept of the dignity of risk, the essential importance of a well-held therapeutic container, what attuned sexuality actually looks like when trauma has taught the body that connection isn't safe, and the difference between seeking reassurance and following a trailhead to what the parts underneath actually need. The episode closes with Patty and Stephanie finding their way to a beautiful full-circle moment — that voice, the one we find in safety, the one that can say what it wants and what it doesn't, the one that can finally speak up even after being deeply dissociated — is what being Self-led in Bed is really about. About Stephanie Mitchell Stephanie is a Level 3 Certified IFS Therapist who specialises in working with early developmental trauma and experiences which often get labelled as ‘mental illness’.​Stephanie is interested in how healing occurs in the human to human relationship, outside the constructs of diagnostic labels, and offers training and consultation as well as therapy..She is currently undertaking research on IFS and Psychosis with UCSF, in collaboration with Flinders Uni Australia.  Connect with Stephanie: Website: stephaniemitchell.net Facebbok: https://www.facebook.com/stephaniemitchelltherapyYoutube: https://www.youtube.com/@ConnectionHeals About Self-Led in Bed Self-Led in Bed is a podcast where we explore our fascinating internal sexual landscapes and discover our authentic sexual Self through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS). Hosted by Patricia Rich — Certified IFS Therapist, AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, coach, and creator of the Self-Led Sexuality and The Six S's models — each episode brings warm, smart, and often juicy conversations. Resources Get the free The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic.

“Can I bring breath to that excitement and bring myself back into the body, holding some of that excited energy and actually letting my system slow down so I can cherish that moment?” LaDonna Silva Disclaimer: This episode contains discussions of childhood sexual abuse, trauma, and sexuality. Listener discretion is advised. Patty sits down with LaDonna Silva,LMFT, an Assistant Trainer of  Somatic IFS, to “flesh out” how this body-based approach founded by Susan McConnell can illuminate the felt experience of sexuality. They apply the five practices of Somatic IFS to sexual processes, recognizing the value of slowing down and gently exploring at the pace of safety and attunement, especially for those who have experienced sexual trauma, as she herself has.  The conversation moves from LaDonna's personal story into the heart of Somatic IFS itself, as she guides listeners through Susan McConnell's five practices — somatic awareness, conscious breathing, radical resonance, mindful movement, and attuned touch — with her own deeply embodied flavor. She and Patty then explore each practice as it might pertain to sexuality, offering a rich exploration of how the body can become a portal to pleasure rather than a place of constriction and shame. They also explore what it means to stay in resonance with oneself when the resonance you're seeking isn't available from a partner, the relationship between burdens held in the body and the freedom to move — in bed and everywhere else — and the difference between telling your story and being present to the parts that are living it while you do. LaDonna brings her poetic and embodied presence to every aspect of this conversation and courageously and intimately shares about her journey as a thriver, activist, healer and someone navigating the everyday dynamics of sexual intimacy in a long-term relationship. About LaDonna Silva LaDonna is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, IFS Approved Clinical Consultant, Level 3 Certified IFS Therapist, and a member of the Somatic IFS teaching staff, serving as an Assistant Trainer with Susan McConnell. With over 20 years of clinical experience, LaDonna is deeply rooted in the Internal Family Systems model and integrates Somatic IFS throughout her therapeutic, teaching and professional work. She leads IFS workshops, trainings, retreats, and multiple consultation groups, specialising in SIFS, trauma, sexual abuse and assault, grief, couples work, and support for the LGBTQI+ community. She has served on the faculty at John F. Kennedy University, the Institute of Transpersonal Psychology/Sofia University, and Santa Clara University, teaching courses in clinical practice and integrative psychotherapy.  Connect with LaDonna: www.ladonnasilva.com www.embodiedself.net www.awakenwildhearts.com www.souliology.com/embodied-self-embodied-system https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100054440921577 https://www.linkedin.com/in/ladonnasilva/ About Self-Led in Bed Self-Led in Bed is a podcast where we explore our fascinating internal sexual landscapes and discover our authentic sexual Self through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS). Hosted by Patricia Rich — Certified IFS Therapist, AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, coach, and creator of the Self-Led Sexuality and The Six S’s models — each episode brings warm, smart, and often juicy conversations. Resources Get the free ⁠The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic.

“Using IFS to heal my fear of hell…that was profound" - Forest Benedict Disclaimer: This episode contains explicit discussions of religious trauma, purity culture, sexual shame, and adult sexuality. Listener discretion is advised. Patty sits down with Forest Benedict, Certified IFS Therapist, Sex & Desire Coach, & Author, for a personal and wide-ranging conversation including his journey from committed purity culture believer and sex addiction therapist to deconverting from Christianity, unpublishing his own book, and rebuilding his entire practice around healing sexual shame and religious trauma with IFS. From there, the conversation moves into the kinds of parts that often show up for those who are navigating purity culture, the power of getting to know parts through their desires rather than only their fears, and what it means for a therapist to bring genuine Self-energy into the room when a client is exploring a major change in their sexual attitudes. They also explore toxic masculinity and the particular burdens cisgender men carry, what Forest witnesses when men are finally given a space to be vulnerable and open-hearted with each other, and the discernment of what we are willing to lose in order to claim who we really are. The episode closes with Forest's concept of Rewilding Desire — the invitation to reconnect with the parts of us that have been domesticated through trauma, religion, and culture, and to consider ways for them to express themselves in the world. About Forest Benedict Forest Benedict, LMFT is a Certified IFS Therapist with more than 16 years of clinical experience, providing online therapy in California and Washington. He became a therapist to specialize in sex addiction and went on to serve as a Clinical Director, speaker, teacher, and author of Life After Lust: Stories & Strategies for Sex & Pornography Addiction Recovery. After deconverting from Christianity seven years ago, Forest began a deep personal healing journey, unpublished his book, pursued IFS certification, and shifted his work toward using IFS to heal sexual shame and religious trauma. He now supports clients in embracing all of who they are sexually through therapy and Rewilding Desire, his IFS-based sex and desire coaching program. Forest runs an ongoing online men's group for clients in Washington and California, offers coaching worldwide, and is currently completing Sex & Intimacy Training and Certification. Connect with Forest: Instagram - @forestbenedictlmft  YouTube - @rewildingdesire Facebook - @forestbenedictlmft TikTok - @forestbenedictlmft @rewildingdesire ForestBenedict.com https://forestbenedict.com/blog-3/ About Self-Led in Bed Self-Led in Bed is a podcast where we explore our fascinating internal sexual landscapes and discover our authentic sexual Self through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS). Hosted by Patricia Rich, Certified IFS Therapist, AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, coach, and creator of the Self-Led Sexuality model and The Six S’s of Sexual Self Energy Framework, each episode brings warm, smart, and often juicy conversations that will transform your understanding of sexuality. Resources Get the free The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic.

“I can be any part in this, any role in this. I'm both the writer, the producer, the director of this erotic theatrical experience my psyche is creating." Leonore Tjia Disclaimer: This episode contains explicit discussions of BDSM practices, power exchange, trauma, and sexuality. Listener discretion is advised. Patty sits down with Leonore Tjia, a therapist, coach, and kink educator, for a conversation about what happens when the frameworks of Internal Family Systems and BDSM meet. For those new to the world of kink, Leonore offers a clear  introduction — unpacking the difference between power exchange and sensation play, and explaining why the BDSM community’s emphasis on consent, negotiation, and aftercare brings a level of intentionality that is often missing from so-called “normal” sexuality. From there, the conversation goes deeper: how dominance and submission can echo early attachment experiences, how scenes can become spaces for reenactment and repair, and what it really means to negotiate consent — not just with a partner, but internally and with the body parts themselves. They also turn the lens on the therapeutic relationship itself, exploring the power dynamics, the attunement, and the ways that being a good therapist might draw on some of the same inner capacities as being a good dominant. Leonore Tjia (she/they) is a queer Chinese American Associate Marriage and Family Therapist based in Vermont. She has worked in the field of adult sexuality education since 2011 with a focus on erotic embodiment, consent and transformative BDSM. She holds a Masters degree in Counseling Psychology and has studied and trained in a variety of healing modalities, including Internal Family Systems, Theater of the Oppressed and the somatic arts form Body Tales. Through her private practice, Rewild Your Heart, she helps people restore the dignity, power and aliveness of their erotic selves. Connect with Leonore: Leonore’s website: rewildingtheheart.com About Self-Led in Bed Self-Led in Bed is a podcast where we explore our fascinating internal sexual landscapes and discover our authentic sexual Self through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS). Hosted by Patricia Rich — Certified IFS Therapist, AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, coach, and creator of the Self-Led Sexuality and The Six S’s models — each episode brings warm, smart, and often juicy conversations. Resources Get the free The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic.

"These things look like great, big, horrifying  monsters, but actually they're really terrified small beings. Think about it for a minute. They're making their existence as a parasite, an unwanted inhabitant in somebody else's psyche. That's not something a powerful being would do." — Robert Falconer Disclaimer: This episode contains discussions of childhood sexual abuse, trauma, and non-ordinary psychological experiences. Listener discretion is advised. Sexuality, especially following sexual trauma, is already complex and multi-layered. Today’s guest brings in yet another potent dimension: what happens when our sexual system has absorbed parasitic energies that do not belong to us?  Robert Falconer is well-known in the IFS community for his teachings about “the others within us,” including unattached burdens and guides.In this episode, Patty and Bob explore how sexual trauma can create openings in the psyche that allow these external energies in, and how working with the parts that have organized themselves around those energies — not rushing to get rid of them — is often where the most tender and transformative healing lives. Bob shares from his own autobiography of severe childhood sexual abuse, and speaks to why he believes IFS is the most powerful model available today for survivors.Bob introduces the "seal of light" meditation as a practical tool for spiritual hygiene, discusses the difference between unattached burdens and perpetrator introjects, and shares what he's learned about the role guides and benevolent energies play in healing and in love. Bob Falconer has devoted much of his career to the treatment of trauma.  For approximately 20 years Bob's major focus has been on Internal Family Systems Therapy. Bob has served on staff for more than twenty official IFS Institute trainings and has completed the highest level of IFS training himself. He has taught extensively, both online and internationally, and has led trainings and classes in Pakistan, China, South Korea, Mexico, Poland, Spain, Canada, the United Kingdom, and with the Fort Belknap and Northern Cheyenne reservations.He is the author of six books related to IFS and inner healing; the most recent being Self Unbroken, an account of the foundations of his healing from his own childhood sexual abuse. He has also been actively engaged with psychedelic exploration since 1967 and continues to view it as a meaningful pathway for healing and insight. Connect with Bob: Bob's website: robertfalconer.us Instagram/Facebook: @bobfalconerifs Books: The Others Within Us, When You're Going Through Hell ...Keep Going, Spirit, Opening the Inner World (co-author), Many Minds, One Self (co-author) - Self Unbroken (publishing in Q2 2026) About Self-Led in Bed Self-Led in Bed is a podcast where we explore our fascinating internal sexual landscapes and discover our authentic sexual Self through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS). Hosted by Patricia Rich — Certified IFS Therapist, AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, coach, and creator of the Self-Led Sexuality and The Six S’s models — each episode brings warm, smart, and often juicy conversations. Resources Get the free The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic. Check out our Intro to IFS Through the Lens of Sexuality Course at www.patriciarich.com.

In this special solo episode, host Patricia Rich celebrates her birthday, which coincides with Earth Day, by choosing to expose her parts…sharing more about her own internal system and inviting listeners to feel into their own vulnerability related to sexual self-disclosure. After 15 months of hosting, Patricia reintroduces herself to the audience, noting how she has evolved since the podcast began and is feeling called to step out from "hiding" and to share more about her parts, passions, internal polarizations and plans. A major theme of this episode is the concept of "internal consent," a process of slowing down to listen to the various parts of one's internal system before making choices about how to communicate or show up in the world. Patricia leads a guided reflection, inviting listeners to consider their own boundaries around self-disclosure—especially regarding their sexual feelings and desires—and how they determine if it is safe to share tender information with friends, partners, or professionals. Patricia shares stories from early childhood that impact her feelings about exposing herself physically,and also delves into her passion for deep connection and the spiritual aspects of intimacy. She explains that feeling "self-led in bed" is not just about sex, but about a broader sense of connectedness that can extend to nature and the Earth. Special Announcement: Monthly "Self-Led in Bed" Q&As! We’re thrilled to announce a new way to connect! Patty will be hosting monthly Self-Led in Bed Q&A sessions exclusively within her Facebook community. This is your opportunity to have your questions about IFS and Sexuality addressed directly. Attend live or submit questions in advance. You can choose to be anonymous when you post in the group, or send Patty a private DM, letting her know if you do not wish to be identified publicly. Join our Facebook community today to submit your questions and be part of these monthly conversations! Join the Self-Led Sexuality Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich Sign up for Patricia’s email list and get the free The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic. Or visit the website at www.patriciarich.com

Disclaimer: This episode includes explicit personal conversations about sexuality, gender identity, and religious trauma. Listener discretion is advised. In this episode Patty talks with Chelsea Rose Odhner (they/them), Level 2 IFS Practitioner, ICF Certified Coach, and an assistant in Patty’s course, Introduction to IFS through the Lens of Sexuality. This episode is specifically designed to explain core IFS concepts through Chelsea’s lived experience ontheir sexuality and gender healing journey. We walk through key ideas such as trailheads, protectors, exiles, unblending and unburdening.  This episode includes a live demo where listeners can witness the flow of an IFS session and how the tools of IFS continue to support Chelsea internally and externally, including a  tender unburdening moment around a memory involving discomfort with male sexual energy. I am grateful for their generous sharing of their system where they are building ongoing relationships with parts in  the complex territory of sexuality, gender, religious trauma, and authenticity. This episode is both deeply personal and highly educational — an invitation to see IFS concepts come alive in real time around sexuality and identity. About Chelsea Chelsea Rose Odhner is a trained Internal Family Systems (IFS) practitioner, certified coach, and co-author of Opening the Inner World: Spiritual Healing, Internal Family Systems and Emanuel Swedenborg. With a background as a licensed massage therapist and a student of yoga philosophy, Chelsea’s work connects spirituality with embodied experience. As the Vice President of Publishing at the Swedenborg Foundation, they are dedicated to translating complex spiritual and philosophical concepts into practical tools for personal development. Chelsea coordinates the Foundation’s in-person retreat programs, where they weave together parts-work, somatic practice, and a spiritual lens to help seekers bridge the gap between the head and the heart. About Self-Led in Bed Self-Led in Bed is a podcast where we explore our fascinating internal sexual landscapes and discover our authentic sexual Self through the lens of Internal Family Systems (IFS). Hosted by Patricia Rich — Certified IFS Therapist, AASECT-Certified Sex Therapist, coach, and creator of the Self-Led Sexuality and The Six S’s models — each episode brings warm, smart, and often juicy conversations. Resources Get the free The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic. Check out our Intro to IFS Through the Lens of Sexuality Course at www.patriciarich.com. Opening the Inner World: Spiritual Healing, Internal Family Systems, and Emanuel Swedenborg - https://www.amazon.com/Opening-Inner-World-Spiritual-Swedenborg/dp/0877853673

“...our unconscious will speak to us through our penis and self-protectively disrupt a sexual interaction due to some perceived danger or threat.”   - Daniel Watter in The Existential Importance of the The Penis Disclaimer: Please be aware that this episode includes frank discussion of sexual anatomy, acts, and death anxiety. Listener discretion is advised. Patty talks to Dr. Daniel N. Watter, Clinical and Forensic Psychologist, Certified Sex Therapist and author of The Existential Importance of the Penis: A Guide to Understanding the Sexuality of Men. Dan shares his 40+ years of clinical experience working with male sexual function and dysfunction, exploring the profound psychological, relational, and existential meanings men attach to their penises beyond biology, and how “the penis speaks.” Dan shares his trauma-informed perspective that upends much current thinking about men’s sexual dysfunction, emphasizing how early attachment wounds and losses can underlie difficulties that are deeper than performance anxiety. He shares his passion for the work of existential psychotherapist Irvin Yalom who taught that  confrontations with our mortality can stimulate a drive toward sexual life force energy and a life of meaning and shares many dramatic client stories..  Dan emphasizes compassionate, non-judgmental therapeutic space, and a hopeful message for men. The conversation is warm, humorous, and deeply human — offering clarity for therapists, partners, and anyone seeking to understand male sexuality more fully. About Daniel: Dr. Daniel N. Watter received his doctoral degree from New York University in 1985 and holds a post-graduate certificate in Medical Humanities from Drew University. He is licensed as both a psychologist and marital/family therapist, Board Certified in Sex Therapy by AASECT (where he is also a certified supervisor), and elected to Fellowship in ISSWSH and SMSNA. He has authored over 30 professional articles and book chapters on sexual function/dysfunction and ethics in healthcare, and is the author of The Existential Importance of the Penis: A Guide to Understanding the Sexuality of Men. Connect with Daniel:  Instagram: www.instagram.com/dnwatter Book: The Existential Importance of the Penis Connect with  Patricia Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patriciarichconsulting/ Join the Self-Led Sexuality Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich Sign up for Patricia’s email list and get the free The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic. Intro to IFS through the Lens of Sexuality Course

Disclaimer: This episode includes candid discussions of sexuality. Listener discretion is advised. In this episode Patty talks to Randi Hall, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist,  Grief Tender and Facilitator about Authentic Relating (AR) — a practice of realness, presence, and in-the-moment connection through simple games and conversations. We discuss AR as an open source social technology, its principles (curiosity, empathy, ownership), how it creates safety for vulnerability, and its natural synergy with IFS.  We discuss applying AR to sexuality to build attunement, consent, and presence before intimacy, and play two live games which are surprisingly (yet not surprisingly) vulnerable and revealing. Randi highlights AR’s versatility across joyful, tender, and conflict spaces, and shares how she fell in love with these practices. Randi Hall is the founder of Realness Rising and her work centers on creating honest, spacious, embodied containers where people can show up as they are without fixing, performing, or pretending. Randi brings together clinical training, lived experience, ritual, and years of facilitating grief circles and connection spaces to help people feel less alone in both grief and relationship. Connect with Randi:  IG: @realnessrising FB Group: realnessrising and the realness rising community Podcast: ⁠Getting Real with Grief⁠ ⁠https://www.authrev.org/what-is-authentic-relating⁠ Tik Tok: @RealnessRising Follow Patricia on Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/patriciarichconsulting/⁠ Join the Self-Led Sexuality Free Facebook Community: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich⁠ Sign up for Patricia’s email list and get the free ⁠The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic.

“Do not think of sex as one dish. Think of it as a buffet…You can do so many things with it. Don't limit yourself to one dish.”  Sabitha Pillai-Friedman Disclaimer: This episode explores sensitive topics related to cancer and sexuality. Listener discretion is advised. In this episode of Self-Led in Bed, Patty welcomes Dr.Sabitha Pillai-Friedman, AASECT Certified Sex Therapist and Approved Supervisor,  for a profound conversation about the intersection of cancer survivorship and sexuality. Following her own cancer diagnosis in 2009, Sabitha recognized a massive gap in care for survivors—the complete lack of information regarding post-treatment sexuality—and has since become a leading advocate and volunteer speaker for organizations like Unite for Her. Patients often feel blindsided by the sexual side effects of cancer treatment because these issues are rarely discussed by healthcare providers. From numbness following breast reconstruction to the hormonal deprivation that causes vaginal dryness and arousal issues, the physical changes can be overwhelming. Beyond the physical, survivors face disenfranchised grief, where society and loved ones may unintentionally silence their pain by reminding them they are "lucky to be alive," effectively exiling the importance of their sexual identity.  Sabitha is constantly rewarded by the sexual resilience of the people she works with, noting that with the right support, survivors can experience a sexual awakening or "reset" that broadens their interpretation of intimacy. Listeners are encouraged to visit the Unite for Her website to access her free videos and resource lists dedicated to sexuality after cancer. Dr. Sabitha Pillai-Friedman was born in the Middle East, raised in India and moved to the United States at age 27, bringing a rich multicultural lens to her work. She has over 30 years of experience providing individual, couple and sex therapy and frequently speaks to health care professionals, cancer survivors and patients about cancer and sexuality. She is an Adjunct Associate Professor at the Center for Human Sexuality Studies at Widener University in Chester, PA and is the co-host of the podcast Our Better Half which focuses on the beauty of human sexuality in the later half of life.  Connect with Sabitha:  https://self-compassion.org/ https://www.facebook.com/sabitha.pillai.9 https://uniteforher.com/herlibrary/ S. Pillai-Friedman & J.L. Ashline (2014): Women, breast cancer survivorship, sexual losses, and disenfranchised grief – a treatment model for clinicians, Sexual and Relationship Therapy, DOI: 10.1080/14681994.2014.934340. Follow Patricia on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patriciarichconsulting/ Join the Self-Led Sexuality Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich Sign up for Patricia’s email list and get the free The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic.

“It really is so much about the journey rather than trying to get to someplace because that destination seems to change for most people”. - Rachael Meir On today's episode, Patty speaks with Dr. Rachael Meir, psychologist, Ethical Non-Monogamy Coach, and author of 50 Questions to Ask Before Opening Your Relationship. She shares her personal story of opening her long-term monogamous marriage and becoming a committed throuple and how these experiences inspired her professional work. They explore the complex internal and external terrain that ENM and polyamory often involve, provide clear definitions (ENM as the broad umbrella, polyamory as one intentional branch), common motivations for opening relationships, why self-assessment and honest communication are essential before taking the leap, and the practical skills couples need to sustain healthy relationships. They discuss how to manage big emotions like jealousy, compersion, fear of abandonment, shame, and excitement, the difference between hierarchical and non-hierarchal relationships, the seven distinct relationships that exist inside a throuple, and the personal growth and fulfillment that this path can bring. Patty brings the IFS lens to the conversation and invites listeners to notice your own parts as we discuss a topic that can feel activating, liberating, or perhaps a bit of both.  Dr. Rachael Meir is a sex-positive, LGBTQIA+ affirming psychologist and sexuality/relationship coach with over 20 years of experience supporting individuals, couples, and polycules through emotional, relational, and identity-related challenges. She is widely recognized for her expertise in ethical/consensual non-monogamy, as well as her supportive work with clients in kink and BDSM communities. Drawing from both extensive professional training and her lived experience in a long-term polyamorous triad, Dr. Meir brings a warm, collaborative, and nonjudgmental approach to her work, helping people feel grounded, understood, and empowered in their relationship journeys. She’s also the author of 50 Questions to Ask Before Opening Your Relationship, a practical and reflective guide for those who are curious about non-monogamy or preparing to open their relationship. The book offers 50 thoughtfully designed questions—each with context and gentle prompts—to support honest conversations about boundaries, communication, expectations, and emotional readiness. Connect with Rachel: https://www.instagram.com/drrachaelmeircoaching/ https://www.facebook.com/drrachaelmeircoaching/ https://www.linkedin.com/in/drrachaelmeircoaching/ https://www.tiktok.com/@drrachaelmeircoaching Coaching website - https://www.drrachaelmeir.com/ My book - https://geni.us/50Questions Thriving Throuples Retreat - https://www.drrachaelmeir.com/retreat-2026 Therapy website - https://rachael-meir.clientsecure.me/ Follow Patricia on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patriciarichconsulting/ Join the Self-Led Sexuality Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich Sign up for Patricia’s email list and get the free The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic.

"So, the gift of self-leadership is not that all parts of us are going to be happy, it's that we're going to be able to wisely and accurately discern the next right step for us, and then stand into it and follow through without that backlash from the inner system." - Jenna Riemersma Few experiences are as painful as having our trust betrayed by an intimate partner. Yet many people must navigate this common experience and the many activated parts that emerge. Those who engage in sexual behavior that falls outside of relationship agreements also often suffer with feelings of shamefulness, guilt, and regret. In this episode Patty talks to Jenna Riemersma, a leading authority in integrating IFS with compulsive sexual behavior and betrayal trauma treatment. As a Certified IFS Therapist,  Clinical Consultant and CSAT Supervisor, she brings over a decade of specialized expertise to this critical therapeutic intersection. She is also the best-selling author of several books including IFS Integration (a re-release of Altogether Us  in which I authored a chapter on Self-Led Sexuality) and Move Toward, which offers a shorthand  approach to IFS which we practice through a demo later in our  conversation.  We explore the "hungry heart" behind compulsions, shame's pervasive grip on sexuality, the inner warring of parts in sexual dilemmas, and compatibility between addiction models and IFS. Jenna introduces her accessible "Move Toward" tool—Notice, Know, Need —for quick unblending. This episode offers practical tools for Self-Led intimacy, reminding us that quick witnessing can bring calm, clarity, and connection amid sexual triggers or relational challenges. Whether you relate to this topic personally, professionally, or both, I know you will learn a lot from Jenna’s wise and reassuring presence. Connect with Jenna: MoveToward.com JennaRiemersma.coM Book IFS Integration: A Comprehensive Guide to Applying Internal Family Systems Across Modalities, Populations, and Clinical Presentations Book Altogether You: Experiencing personal and spiritual transformation with Internal Family Systems therapy Book Move Toward Follow Patricia on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patriciarichconsulting/ Join the Self-Led Sexuality Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich Sign up for Patricia’s email list and get the free The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic.

”The first thing I ever wrote about firefighters is why I love my firefighters. And I said, firefighters add spice to life..they relieve us of the humdrum of our manager driven lives.” - Cece Sykes Content Advisory: This episode includes candid discussions of sexuality, sexual trauma, and personal experiences that may be triggering for some listeners. Patty talks to Cece Sykes about the deep intersections of sexuality, parts work, trauma, addiction, and healing. Cece shares her early experiences training with Dick Schwartz, witnessing the model's beginnings in family therapy, and consulting with him in Oak Park—the "birthplace" of IFS. Together they explore sexuality through an IFS lens with particular attention to parts that care about pleasure, sex, connection, and escape. They also consider the cultural polarities that influence our attitudes toward these parts, internal consent, the evolution of intimacy in long-term relationships, hope for healing sexual trauma and finding sexual pleasure at any age, and the joy of embodied, grateful living. Later in the episode, Cece gently invites Patty to share more about her own motivations for working with sexuality which reminds Patty of a story from 4th grade.. They reflect on sex as a vital, evolving part of a full life, which can be led by Self Energy when we are freed from sexual burdens. Cece reflects on her impulsive "healthy firefighters" and cautious managers, emphasizing nuance, gratitude for home, family, and her recent marriage, and offering hope to those who are on the path. Cece Sykes, LCSW, ACSW, has over forty years of clinical experience with recovery from trauma and addiction. A founding trainer with the IFS Institute, Cece piloted her own approach on addiction and has spent over two decades educating therapists worldwide on IFS and treating addictive processes. She co-authored IFS Therapy for Addictions: Trauma-Informed, Compassion-Based Interventions for Substance Use, Eating, Gambling and More (2023) and numerous IFS articles and book chapters. Cece originated her treasured Heart Lessons of the Journey retreats for therapists to explore personal narratives. She lives with her husband in her lifelong home of Chicago, close to family, friends, and grandchildren. Connect with Cece: Website: https://www.cecesykeslcsw.com  Book:https://www.amazon.com/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy-Addictions/dp/1683736028#immersive-view_1765318349404  Follow Patricia on Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/patriciarichconsulting/ Join the Self-Led Sexuality Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich Sign up for Patricia’s email list and get the free The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic.

“I'm convinced that external suppression and degradation of our bodies, our sexuality and our pleasure, robs us of our full potential. When we claim our embodied autonomy and inherent right to pleasure, we claim our power”. - Suzanne Blackburn Patty talks to Suzanne Blackburn, queer pleasure activist, elder, and guide. After having her own embodiment taken from her early in life, Suzanne found her way back home to her body through a workshop at the Body Electric School more than 25 years ago. She has worn many hats there ever since including facilitator, board chair, and coordinator, driven by her  fierce passion for reuniting the erotic and the sacred. In this warm and at times fiery conversation we explore how cultural, religious, economic, and political systems can detach us from our erotic life-force energy—and why that detachment serves power structures that profit from our shame and disconnection. Suzanne shares her personal journey of reclamation, defines eros as the relentless pulse of aliveness that runs through everything (not just g******s!) Patty brings the IFS lens and considers how parts either block or open the flow of that energy. They talk about the political nature of pleasure, the danger of splitting sexuality from spirituality, the beauty of slowing down and breathing together, and what becomes possible when we finally feel safe enough for our embodied sexual Self to emerge. Suzanne reads a favorite poem by Mark Nepo and leaves us with the image of gliding—on water, on snow, across skin—as something that is a sensual pleasure for her. Suzanne Blackburn has been a social and political activist for decades, volunteering with Equality Maine on two successful campaigns to legalize same-sex marriage. She is the author of Reclaiming Eros: Sacred Whores and Healers and continues to facilitate transformative workshops with the Body Electric School.  Take a slow breath, settle into your body, and let this episode remind every part of you that pleasure is your birthright. Connect with Suzanne: [email protected]  Book - Reclaiming Eros: Sacred Whores and Healers, by Suzanne Blackburn Erotic Liberation Podcast Episode 21: https://open.spotify.com/episode/6gm69EVf5oIZij9tj0RF0W?si=8831b198f5fa4816 Follow Patricia on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patriciarichconsulting/ Join the Self-Led Sexuality Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich Sign up for Patricia’s email list and get the free The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic.

“Parts have different preferences… just because somebody exclusively is in the role of top doesn't mean all their parts want to do that. And same thing when it comes to bottoming or versatile. ” - Max Littman Disclaimer: Please be aware that this episode includes explicit sexual discussion.Listener discretion is advised. On today’s episode, Patricia speaks with Max Littman about his new book Internal Family Systems Therapy for Gay and Queer Men: A Companion for After Coming Out,. It is the first IFS book to center the inner lives and the larger systems that particularly impact gay and queer men. The book is very engaging and wide ranging, as was this episode’s conversation which wove together IFS, attunement, inner and outer dynamics related to living as a gay or queer man, preferred sexual positions and their intersection with the larger culture, social media influence and aspects of  drag for artists and audiences. Max and I also discovered a shared love of language, especially puns, which he recognizes as a clue that he has a good amount of Self Energy on board. Max Littman, LCSW, is an IFS therapist, consultant, and author based in the San Francisco Bay Area. His work centers on attunement, attachment, cultural burdens, and relational and neurobiological understandings of trauma. He specializes in working with gay and queer men and provides mentorship to therapists in private practice. Connect with Max:  https://maxlittman.com/ Book - https://a.co/d/2VtoeVX Follow Patricia on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/patriciarichconsulting/ Join the Self-Led Sexuality Free Facebook Community: https://www.facebook.com/groups/selfleds3xualitywithpatriciarich Sign up for Patricia’s email list and get the free The Six S's of Sexual Self-Energy Infographic.