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Connect with me, Hanna, your host: Instagram: @grace.pilledhannawilliams.com (bookings, conflict school, etc)patreon.com/gracepilled(join as a free member to listen to GRACE 101!) In this episode, I’m talking about Saturn as the force in our lives that teaches us discipline, responsibility, delayed gratification, and ultimately, real satisfaction. Saturn gets a bad reputation because its lessons often arrive through limitation, pressure, hard work, and the things we would really rather avoid, but there’s another way to understand this energy: as the force that helps us build a life we can actually feel good about having lived. I talk about my own Saturn return and the ways it completely reoriented my life, why instant gratification can keep us from discovering what we actually want and need, and why structure and discipline can ultimately create more freedom rather than less. We’ll also get into impulse control, the satisfaction of doing difficult things, the inconvenient things you know you need, and the responsibilities and dreams that will probably keep haunting you until you finally rise to meet them. Toward the end, I also explore Saturn through the lens of karma yoga and selfless service, including a simple question to consider: what would it look like to do the necessary work no one wants to do, for people who cannot repay you, without seeking recognition? Maybe Saturn isn’t here to punish you. Maybe Saturn is trying to help you get your shit together so you can actually live your life.

Connect with my guest, Fiona:instagram.com/fionanodarfionanodar.comConnect with me, Hanna, your host: Art store: distantplanetdesign.etsy.comInstagram: @grace.pilledhannawilliams.com (bookings, conflict school, etc)patreon.com/gracepilled(join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!) What if tension isn’t a problem to solve, but an essential part of what makes us feel alive? In this conversation, I’m joined by writer, mediator, and growth companion Fiona Nodar to explore tension as a spiritual, creative, and relational force. We talk about what happens when we stop organizing our lives around comfort and certainty and instead become more willing to meet the mystery, friction, and resistance inherent in being alive. We explore tension as the place where we come into contact with reality: in conflict, creativity, sexuality, relationships, change, and the uncomfortable freedom of having choices. We talk about why avoiding tension doesn’t actually make it disappear, the relationship between tension and transformation, and what it might mean to develop a greater capacity for the unknown rather than constantly trying to resolve it. Our conversation also wanders into love and projection, the humiliation of genuinely pursuing what we desire, free will versus determinism, duality and nonduality, and my perennial spiritual question: Can I have both? Ultimately, we consider the possibility that God may not only be found in moments of peace, unity, and transcendence—but in the charged space between opposing forces, where something new is always trying to emerge.

Connect with me, Hanna, your host: Instagram: @grace.pilledhannawilliams.com (bookings, conflict school, etc)patreon.com/gracepilled(join as a free member to listen to GRACE 101!) What does it actually take to stay on the spiritual path for the long haul? In this episode, we explore perseverance as one of the most essential, and perhaps least glamorous, ingredients of genuine spiritual transformation. The path is not always filled with profound insights, mystical experiences, or obvious signs that something is working. Much of it is ordinary. You practice, you forget, you come back. You lose the thread and pick it up again. Sometimes nothing seems to be happening at all. And yet, this willingness to continue is precisely what allows the path to deepen over time. Through reflections on devotion, discipline, death, liberation, and the long arc of spiritual practice, this episode explores what it means to keep choosing the path without demanding constant evidence that you are getting somewhere. Perseverance becomes less about forcing yourself forward and more about developing a relationship with practice that can survive boredom, difficulty, disappointment, and the inevitable seasons when your inspiration disappears. Ultimately, the spiritual path may have much less to do with becoming a perfect practitioner and much more to do with becoming someone who simply keeps returning.

Connect with me, Hanna, your host:  Instagram: @grace.pilledhannawilliams.com (bookings, conflict school, etc)patreon.com/gracepilled (join as a free member to listen to GRACE 101!) What does it mean to take responsibility for your inner state when the world gives you plenty of legitimate reasons to feel terrible? In this episode, I explore the spiritual assumption underneath the question, “How can I be happy when there’s so much suffering in the world?” and why I don’t believe our happiness is meant to be entirely dependent on external circumstances. We get into the difference between actually processing difficult emotions and becoming committed to misery, why unresolved grief, resentment, and conflict are like a room full of crying babies making presence nearly impossible, and why tending to those feelings is part of learning to consciously shift your state. I also talk about the strange idea that our suffering somehow helps other people who are suffering, and make the case that choosing to enjoy your life, do meaningful work, love God, and become a little harder for the world to knock over might actually be a greater contribution to the collective than remaining perpetually disempowered by everything that’s wrong.

Connect with me, Hanna, your host:  Instagram: @grace.pilledhannawilliams.com (bookings, conflict school, etc)patreon.com/gracepilled (join as a free member to listen to GRACE 101!) In this Q&A episode, I’m answering your questions about fear, shame, rejection, victimhood, chronic illness, creativity, desire, manifestation, and what it actually means to work with the hand life deals you. We talk about becoming the author of your life, how fear can point you toward your highest potential, why you might not know the “lesson” of a difficult experience until years later, and how to let old parts of yourself stay at the table without letting them run the show. I also get into the yoga of wanting things: pursuing what you desire, working to change your circumstances, and participating fully in your life without making your peace dependent on getting the outcome you wanted. We talk about accepting the reality of illness without giving up on improving it, making art as a devotional practice, the slippery slope of manifestation and reality creation, and remembering the difference between the side quests of this life and the main quest. Here is the book list I shared: • My Name Is Chellis and I’m in Recovery from Western Civilization by Chellis Glendinning • Tantra Illuminated by Christopher D. Wallis • The Many Daughters of Afong Moy by Jamie Ford • Ritual: Power, Healing and Community by Malidoma Patrice Somé • High Magick by Damien Echols • Six Ways by Aidan Wachter • Living from the Heart by Puran Bair • Already Free: Buddhism Meets Psychotherapy on the Path of Liberation by Bruce Tift • In Praise of the Goddess: The Devimahatmya and Its Meaning by Devadatta Kali • Decolonizing Methodologies by Linda Tuhiwai Smith • Still Here by Ram Dass • Crooked Cucumber, the biography of Shunryu Suzuki Basically, this is an episode about how to want things, fear things, lose things, change things, and still keep your eye on the main quest.

Connect with me, Hanna, your host:  Instagram: @grace.pilledhannawilliams.com (bookings, conflict school, etc)patreon.com/gracepilled (join as a free member to listen to GRACE 101!) Kundalini has become one of the most sensationalized—and misunderstood—concepts in modern spirituality. In this episode, I share an essay exploring the classical tantric understanding of Kundalini as it has been taught in my lineage over the last eleven years. Rather than treating Kundalini as a rare energetic event or dramatic spiritual experience, we explore Her as the very power of Grace: the evolutionary force of consciousness that purifies the mind, awakens the heart, and ultimately reveals God. Along the way, we discuss why Kundalini is synonymous with Grace and prana, the difference between chit kundalini and prana kundalini, why intense "kundalini experiences" are not necessarily signs of advanced spiritual development, and why surrender—not striving—is the essence of authentic Kundalini Yoga. We also examine the emotional side of spiritual purification, the role of a teacher, and how the deepest work of awakening often unfolds far more subtly than the internet would have you believe.

SIGN UP FOR CONFLICT SCHOOL: www.hannawilliams.com/conflictschool Connect with Monika Alanna  Instagram: @rooted.relating (coaching/grief counseling)@magicksalt (handmade jewelry, art, writing)www.magicksalt.com Connect with me, Hanna, your host:  Instagram: @grace.pilledhannawilliams.com (bookings, human design, etc)patreon.com/gracepilled (join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!) What if the hardest conflict you'll ever face isn't with another person—but with yourself? In this conversation, Monika Alanna and I explore the subtle ways we avoid truth in order to avoid conflict. We talk about self-betrayal, people-pleasing, desire, compromise, relationships, nervous system regulation, and why so many of us sacrifice our own authenticity in the pursuit of belonging, love, or peace. Along the way, we ask questions like: What makes someone a good compromise partner? How do you know the difference between compromise and self-sacrifice? Why do the things we love most about someone often become the very things that frustrate us? And what happens when we finally stop trying to avoid conflict altogether? More than anything, this episode is an invitation to rethink conflict. Conflict is not a sign that something has gone wrong. It is an inevitable and even transformative part of being alive. The goal isn't to eliminate conflict. The goal is to develop the skills, awareness, and courage to meet it well. Whether you're navigating romantic relationships, friendships, family dynamics, or your own inner world, I hope this conversation leaves you feeling a little more equipped to tell the truth, stay present through discomfort, and choose relationships that make both people more free.

Connect with me, Hanna, your host:CONFLICT SCHOOL STARTS JULY 28th  Instagram: @grace.pilledhannawilliams.com (bookings, merch, etc)patreon.com/gracepilled (join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!) What happens when a classical Tantrika sits down with someone who has spent years working in the world of Neo Tantra and erotic bodywork? In this conversation, we explore where these two worlds overlap, where they fundamentally diverge, and what questions they raise about intimacy, healing, spirituality, sex work, vulnerability, and the search for God. Rather than trying to arrive at definitive answers, this episode is an invitation into a thoughtful and curious exploration of one of the most misunderstood subjects in contemporary spirituality.

Connect with Dave, my guest: https://www.instagram.com/dadima.ayurveda.yoga/ what we said at the end: vijnañabhairava tantra  Connect with me, Hanna, your host:  Instagram: @grace.pilledhannawilliams.com (bookings, conflict school, etc)patreon.com/gracepilled (join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!) What is Tantra, really? In this episode, I sit down with David Yoss for an ambitious conversation: attempting to explain the vast world of classical Tantra in a single sitting. What began as a tongue-in-cheek challenge quickly became an exploration of just how difficult Tantra is to define. Far from being a single religion, philosophy, or practice, Tantra is a diverse family of traditions that has shaped Hinduism, Buddhism, ritual practice, yoga, mysticism, and devotional life across South Asia for over a thousand years. Together, we explore some of the key themes that appear across Tantric traditions, while also discussing the historical and cultural forces that have shaped modern understandings (and misunderstandings) of Tantra in the West. Topics include: • Why scholars still struggle to agree on a single definition of Tantra • The meaning of the word "Tantra" and its relationship to sacred texts and revelation • Mantra as a living embodiment of divine power rather than a symbolic prayer • Initiation, lineage, and the role of the guru in Tantric practice • Ritual, puja, visualization, and worship in the "temple of the mind" • The subtle body, chakras, nyasa, and the installation of mantras within the body • Dualistic and nondual Tantric philosophies • Why Tantra is often associated with transgression and what that actually means • Left-handed and right-handed approaches to Tantric practice • Siddhis, spiritual attainments, and the distinction between liberation and worldly goals • The historical development of Tantra and its relationship to Hinduism and Buddhism • How colonialism and Victorian attitudes toward sexuality influenced Western perceptions of Tantra • The origins of Neo-Tantra and how it differs from classical Tantric traditions Whether you're completely new to Tantra or have been practicing for years, this conversation offers a broad introduction to one of the most influential, misunderstood, and fascinating spiritual movements in human history. Or at least our best attempt at explaining it in ninety minutes.

Connect with my guest, Kayla: www.instagram.com/kayla.radhika www.kaylaradhika.ca www.patreon.com/cw/KaylaMiller493Connect with me, Hanna, your host:  Art store: distantplanetdesign.etsy.com Instagram: @grace.pilledhannawilliams.com (bookings, conflict school, etc)patreon.com/gracepilled (join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!) In this episode of Gracepilled, I’m joined by multidisciplinary artist, mystic, and tantric yoga teacher Kayla Radhika Miller for a wide-ranging conversation about the relationship between art and spiritual practice. Together, we explore what happens when creativity stops being mere self-expression and starts becoming a genuine path of perception, devotion, and transformation. We talk about beauty as a force that interrupts the thinking mind, the parallels between artistic discipline and mantra practice, and how the creative process can train us to see reality more clearly. We also explore the tension between technique and surrender, why frustration is often part of both spiritual and artistic growth, and the difference between making something “correct” versus making something truly alive. Along the way, we dive into tantra, perception, abstract art, devotional practice, artistic limitation, self-portraiture, color theory, AI art, and the mysterious question of whether art can carry transmission. Kayla brings a rare blend of depth to this conversation through her background in tantric yoga, Kashmir Shaivism, expressive arts facilitation, and art history, and together we reflect on how creativity itself can become a doorway into relationship with the sacred. This episode is for artists, seekers, and anyone interested in the deeper spiritual function of beauty, perception, and creative practice.

free human design resource: www.hannawilliams.com/humandesignget a written analysis from me join me on patreon In this solo episode of Gracepilled, I share the deeply personal story of how Human Design entered my life during a period of burnout, confusion, financial instability, and spiritual identity crisis. What began as skepticism toward a “channeled” system eventually became a profound framework for understanding individuality, authenticity, energy, relationships, and the spiritual process itself. I explores my experience discovering I am a Projector, the strange synchronicities that pulled me deeper into the system, and why Human Design ultimately felt less like a departure from my tantric background and more like another way of studying God, consciousness, and human behavior. Along the way, I reflect on burnout culture, deconditioning, differentiation, spiritual integrity, relational dynamics, openness and sensitivity, and the liberating power of radically accepting what you actually are instead of trying to become something else.

REGISTRATION FOR CONFLICT SCHOOL OPENS JUNE 16TH!Connect with me, Hanna, your host:  Instagram: @grace.pilledhannawilliams.com (bookings, conflict school, etc)patreon.com/gracepilled (join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!) Connect with Monika Alanna  Instagram: @rooted.relating (coaching/grief counseling)@magicksalt (handmade jewelry, art, writing)www.magicksalt.com In this episode, Monika and I sit down for a deeply personal conversation about conflict, honesty, intimacy, self-betrayal, nervous system regulation, and what it actually means to love another human being truthfully. We explore the ways our childhoods shaped our relationship to conflict, why so many people fear honest conversations, and how relational rupture can sometimes become the doorway to deeper intimacy, self-awareness, and transformation. We talk about family systems, tone policing, “canaries in the coal mine,” heartbreak, staying too long, leaving too late, and the difficult reality that sometimes love asks us to confront truths we desperately wish were not true. Throughout the conversation, we return again and again to the idea that conflict is not inherently destructive. In many ways, conflict is the mechanism through which real connection becomes possible. We discuss how nervous system regulation impacts our ability to listen, why most people black out during difficult conversations, the difference between abusive communication and emotional intensity, and how learning to tolerate discomfort may actually be the pathway to the intimacy most people claim to want. We also speak candidly about our own lives and relationships: what it means to feel unseen, how people carry old wounds into present relationships, the stories we tell ourselves after heartbreak, and the strange grace that can emerge when we stop avoiding difficult truths. This episode is philosophical, emotionally raw, funny at times, and deeply rooted in the belief that the life we want often exists on the other side of the conversations we are most afraid to have. Conflict School begins July 28th. This year, the course will be six weeks long instead of four, giving us much more room to go deeper into the anatomy of conflict, communication, nervous system work, rupture and repair, relational dynamics, and actionable skills that can radically transform the way you engage with disagreement and intimacy. Registration opens June 16th. From June 16th–23rd, we’ll be offering an early bird rate of $200 for the full six-week program. After that, the price increases to $250. More details will be available on my website soon. Let’s get into it.

guest info: www.sophiestrand.com/ www.instagram.com/cosmogyny/ www.substack.com/@sophiestrand GO BUY HER BOOKS!!!! host info: www.hannawilliams.com www.patreon.com/gracepilled www.instagram.com/gracepilled In this episode of Gracepilled, I sat down with writer and “neo-troubadour animist” Sophie Strand for a sprawling conversation about mysticism, illness, ecology, beauty, paradox, and what it means to stay openhearted in a world that often feels unsafe. Together we explore Sophie’s unusual upbringing around Buddhist monks, interfaith spirituality, rescued animals, and ecological thought, as well as the role chronic illness played in dismantling simplistic spiritual narratives about healing, fairness, and transcendence. The conversation moves through topics like animism, Joan of Arc, climate anxiety, Groundhog Day as a spiritual text, mystical experience, riddles and parables, the difference between beauty and glamour, and why the deepest spiritual truths often live inside contradiction rather than certainty. This episode is ultimately about surrender: not as passivity, but as the willingness to remain in relationship with reality even when there are no guarantees, no explanations, and no “happy ending” waiting at the end of suffering. You can find Sophie’s work through her books, essays, and Substack.

SIGN UP FOR ATTENTION 101 (reclaim your agency for change)  sign up here Starts January 6th!  Connect with me, Hanna, your host:  Instagram: @grace.pilled hannawilliams.com (bookings, conflict school, etc) patreon.com/gracepilled (join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!) Connect with Monica Alanna  Instagram:  @rooted.relating (coaching/grief counseling) @magicksalt (handmade jewelry, art, writing) www.magicksalt.com In this episode, Monica interviews me about what it’s really like to live and work online as a creative & mentor. We talk about our digital duplicates, attention fatigue, curating our algorithms with intention, the tension between analog life vs. digital life, what it means to be authentic on social media, and how I think about creativity, boundaries, and running Gracepilled as a business. It’s an honest look at identity, influence, and staying human on the internet. Digital duplicates & online identity — how the internet forms a version of us, how others perceive that version, and how it affects real life.Attention, distraction & notification fatigue — the constant pull of screens, digital audits, and reclaiming focus.Analog vs. digital media — the sensory and emotional differences between reading physical books, using Kindles, and engaging offline.Creativity, authenticity & running an online business — how I create content, use data, navigate the algorithm, and balance privacy with visibility.Influence, boundaries & staying grounded online — curating your algorithm, resisting comparison culture, and choosing how you want to show up on the internet.

Connect with me, Hanna, your host:  Instagram: @grace.pilled hannawilliams.com (bookings, conflict school, etc) patreon.com/gracepilled (join as a free member to get access to a collection of talks!) Connect with Monica Alanna  Instagram:  @rooted.relating (coaching/grief counseling) @magicksalt (handmade jewelry, art, writing) www.magicksalt.com Today’s episode is a conversation with my friend & colleague Monica Alanna about the strange and complicated world of digital spaces. We personify the platforms we use every day—Instagram, TikTok, Reddit, YouTube—as if they were people, each with their own archetype and flavor. We explore how these apps shape culture, attention, and even our sense of self, from the pull we all experience of wanting to peek at the comment section arguments to the addictive, casino-like design of social media apps that keep us emotionally hooked. Along the way, we talk about digital “duplicates,” cancel culture, distraction, and what it takes to build real boundaries with screens. It’s funny, it’s sharp, and it gets into the gray areas of how technology can be both a tool and a trap. I think you’ll leave this one reflecting on your own relationship with social media—and maybe even laughing about it too.