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What Do You Make It MEAN? Have you ever had something happen and almost immediately decided what it meant? Someone doesn't call. Your friend doesn't invite you. Your boss doesn't respond the way you expected. Your adult child isn't calling as often. Or someone sends you the dreaded one-letter text: “K.” In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Coach Del shares a personal story about seeing Facebook photos of her sister and brothers spending time together—only an hour away—when she hadn't been invited. Her feelings were hurt. But something else happened, too. Being left out quickly became: "They intentionally excluded me because they didn't want me there." And those aren't necessarily the same thing. This episode explores the difference between what actually happened and what we make what happened mean. Because when there's a gap between what we know and what we don't know, it's easy to fill that gap with an interpretation: She doesn't value our friendship. He must be losing interest. My boss didn't think my work was good enough. My child doesn't need me anymore. Sometimes our interpretation may be accurate. But sometimes we've turned an assumption into a fact without even realizing it—and then started changing our behavior, making decisions, or questioning our own worth based on that interpretation. In this episode, you'll explore: The difference between what happened and the meaning you assigned to it How quickly an interpretation can begin shaping your emotions and behavior Why questioning your interpretation doesn't mean ignoring your instincts or excusing someone else's behavior How someone else's actions can activate beliefs or fears you already carry about yourself Why the meaning you've assigned to a situation may sometimes be the real bottleneck Three questions that can help you slow down before treating an interpretation as fact The next time you notice yourself having a strong reaction to something someone said, did—or didn't say or do—pause and ask: What actually happened? What am I making it mean? Do I know that to be true? The goal isn't to find the one perfectly correct interpretation of everything everyone does. It's to notice when your interpretation has quietly become fact in your own mind. What’s REALLY Holding You Back? If this episode has you wondering whether something underneath your reactions may be creating a bottleneck in your own life, take Coach Del's short assessment: What's REALLY Holding You Back? It can help you begin identifying where your bottleneck may be—whether there's something you're having trouble seeing clearly, trying to handle alone, blaming yourself for, or afraid to face. Find the assessment at CoachDel.com. Stay Connected with Coach Del 🌐 Website: CoachDel.com 🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms 📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman 💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Have you been spending more than usual? Eating differently? Working too much? Scrolling for hours? Or maybe you’re on the other side—sleeping less, struggling to focus, pulling away from people, or simply not doing some of the things you normally do. Coach Del calls these our “overs and unders.” Sometimes when life gets stressful, overwhelming, uncertain, lonely, or just plain HARD, what we’re carrying starts showing up in our behavior before we’ve fully acknowledged what’s going on. And our first instinct is often to fix the behavior: I need to stop spending. I need to get off this phone. I need to focus. I need more discipline. And maybe we do. But what if we also asked: What might this behavior be doing for me? In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Coach Del talks about recognizing changes in our behavior as information—not as another opportunity to criticize ourselves. You’ll explore: How stress and other difficult experiences can show up through our “overs and unders” Why focusing only on stopping a behavior may leave the underlying issue untouched How seemingly positive behaviors—like working or exercising—can also become “overs” Why there’s room for both accountability and curiosity Questions that can help you notice patterns in your own behavior How your overs and unders may provide clues to the bottleneck underneath Sometimes the thing you’re trying to fix isn’t the first thing that needs your attention. Instead of asking, “What is wrong with me?” try asking: “What is going on with me?” That little shift can open the door to greater awareness, more compassion, and more intentional choices. What’s REALLY Holding You Back? If today’s conversation has you wondering what might be underneath some of your own patterns, take Coach Del’s short “What’s REALLY Holding You Back?” assessment. It can help you begin identifying where your bottleneck may be and what could be getting in the way of moving forward. Find the assessment at CoachDel.com. Stay Connected with Coach Del 🌐 Website: CoachDel.com 🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms 📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman 💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

You’ve communicated, waited, adjusted, and offered another chance. But the change you’ve been hoping for still hasn’t happened. How long should you continue waiting? In this episode, Del shares a personal experience from a past relationship that looked good on paper—even as her intuition repeatedly told her something wasn’t right. She wanted the relationship to change, but eventually realized that the change she was waiting for wasn’t hers to create. Her turning point came when she stopped asking whether things might eventually improve and asked: “If nothing ever changes, can I accept this relationship exactly as it is?” Later, she received confirmation that ending the relationship had been the right decision when the man’s now-wife contacted her and revealed his double life—a story Del previously shared in “When the Truth Finds You.” But that confirmation came after the decision. In this episode, you’ll consider: Why a person’s potential can make it difficult to accept present reality The difference between offering room to grow and building your life around someone’s potential Why more explaining, patience, or sacrifice may not create change What happens when your life becomes organized around something outside your control Why accepting reality does not mean approving of someone’s behavior How to distinguish not knowing what to do from not liking what your choices require The question that can help you stop waiting and begin deciding If you’re unsure what may be keeping you circling, take the free What’s REALLY Holding You Back? assessment. It can help you begin identifying the pattern underneath the explanation you’ve been giving yourself: https://tally.so/r/J94V1X Once you’ve completed the assessment—or if you already recognize the bottleneck but need help determining what to do next—book a free one-on-one call with Del to discuss what you’ve discovered and explore whether Stuck-to-Steady is the right support for you: https://calendly.com/delphine-smith/your-next-step-let-s-talk  Connect with Del: https://CoachDel.com https://BounceBackBlackWoman.com Instagram and TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

You have the talent. You have experience. You may even have evidence that other people value what you can do. So why don’t you feel ready? After being fired and spending approximately a year searching for another traditional job, Del began paying closer attention to women who were earning meaningful income from skills like hers. She saw full-time self-employed home bakers, coaches, authors, and speakers building businesses around their abilities. Their success didn’t guarantee hers. But it raised an important question: "Why not me, too?" In this episode, Del explores how practical preparation can sometimes conceal a deeper doubt about our own capability. While training, strategy, and experience matter, constantly creating another requirement can keep us preparing for something we may already be capable of beginning. In this episode, you’ll consider: Why familiar structures can feel safer than creating your own The difference between being inexperienced and being incapable How “I’m not ready” can become a permanent waiting room Why accomplishments don’t always silence self-doubt What other women’s success can reveal about possibility Why belief doesn’t require certainty that you will succeed How action can create evidence that strengthens self-trust If you’ve been questioning whether you’re truly ready, take the free What’s REALLY Holding You Back? assessment. It can help you begin identifying the pattern beneath the reason you’ve been giving yourself: https://tally.so/r/J94V1X Once you’ve completed the assessment—or if you already recognize the bottleneck making forward movement difficult—book a free one-on-one call with Del to talk through what you’ve discovered and explore whether Stuck-to-Steady is the right support for you: [BOOKING LINK TO BE ADDED] Connect with Del: https://BounceBackBlackWoman.com Instagram and TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

You know something isn’t working—but leaving feels too risky. Maybe you’re worried about money, your children, other people’s judgment, beginning again, or discovering that the next situation isn’t any better. So you remain where you are, telling yourself you haven’t made a decision yet. But staying is also a decision. In this episode, Del shares two personal experiences in which staying initially felt safer than leaving: her first marriage after multiple infidelities had been exposed and a micromanaging workplace that diminished her expertise until the company ultimately terminated her. Although the circumstances were different, both experiences reveal how fear can narrow our view of the choices available to us—and how carrying everything alone can make the situation feel even more impossible. In this episode, you’ll consider: Why familiar pain can feel safer than an uncertain future The difference between consciously choosing to stay and feeling unable to leave What your children and loved ones may already recognize How fear and isolation can make your options appear smaller Why the first step doesn’t always have to be the final departure How the reason you believe you’re staying may not tell the entire story This episode is not an instruction to leave your job, marriage, or relationship. It is an invitation to examine what is influencing your decision and to seek the support needed to make that decision intentionally. If you’re still unsure what may be keeping you from moving forward, take the free What’s REALLY Holding You Back? assessment HERE https://tally.so/r/J94V1X If you have identified what may be restricting your movement but need help deciding what to do next, book a free one-on-one call with me! [Book your free 1:1 Call]   Stay Connected with Del: Meet Coach Del Podcast Website Instagram and TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

EPISODE 136: Why More Information Isn’t Helping You Decide You’ve gathered the information. You’ve compared the options. You’ve considered the risks, asked for advice, and replayed the possibilities. So why can’t you decide? In this episode, Del shares the real-life decision she is currently navigating: whether to renovate part of her home to generate rental income, keep the property as it is, or sell and transition to apartment living. Each option offers legitimate benefits. Each also introduces financial, practical, and emotional risks. What initially appeared to be a decision requiring more information has revealed a deeper question: Can additional information create clarity—or are we sometimes asking it to eliminate uncertainty, regret, and judgment? In this episode, you’ll consider: When responsible research becomes endless analysis Why having several good options can make choosing more difficult What you may be asking additional information to guarantee How identity and other people’s perceptions can complicate practical decisions Why an imperfect outcome doesn’t necessarily mean you made the wrong choice How the apparent problem may not be the real reason you can’t move forward If you’re unsure what may be keeping you circling, take the free What’s REALLY Holding You Back? assessment: https://tally.so/r/J94V1X If you have identified what may be restricting your movement but need help determining what to do next, book a free one-on-one call with Del: LET'S TALK! Connect with Del: Podcast Website BounceBackBlackWoman.com Instagram and TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Episode 135: Are Your Boundaries the REAL Problem? 5 Areas Where They Might Be Your life may not be out of control—but certain parts of it may feel exhausting, frustrating, or increasingly difficult to manage. The problem may not be your ability to handle responsibility. It may be that too many people and obligations have unrestricted access to your time, energy, attention, money, and emotional capacity. In this episode, Coach Del explores five areas where missing, unclear, or inconsistently enforced boundaries may be contributing to problems in your life: Time and availability Emotional responsibility Relationships and communication Work and obligations Money and material support In This Episode Why being dependable is not the same as being perpetually available The difference between caring about someone's feelings and becoming responsible for them Why a boundary must focus on what you will do—not controlling someone else How competence can quietly create unreasonable expectations at work Why generosity stops being freely chosen when guilt makes the decision How resentment, dread, and depletion can reveal a missing boundary The four steps to establishing a healthier boundary: Notice it, name it, communicate it, and hold it Why another person's disappointment does not automatically mean your boundary is wrong A Reminder From This Episode The right boundaries do not stop you from being generous, compassionate, loving, or dependable. They allow those qualities to remain freely chosen instead of continually required. Take the Free Assessment If you know you're stuck but aren't sure why, take the free What's REALLY Holding You Back? assessment. Discover what's getting between you and where you want to be: https://tally.so/r/J94V1X Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE Join Coach Del for the next Bounce Back, Black Woman! Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE on Monday, September 21, 2026, from 8:00–9:00 PM ET. This free virtual gathering will create space for honest conversation, reflection, laughter, and connection. Registration is required, and attendance is limited to 25 women. Register here: https://o8dbkm.subscribepage.io Stay Connected with Coach Del 🌐 Website: CoachDel.com 🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms 📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman 💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Ep. 134: Are You Thinking It Through—or Just Going in Circles? Some decisions deserve time, prayer, research, and careful consideration. But there comes a point when thinking something through stops producing new information—and simply returns you to the same fears, questions, and possibilities. In this episode, Coach Del explores the difference between thoughtful consideration and circular thinking. She explains why going in circles can feel productive, what it may be protecting you from, and why some clarity only becomes available after you take action. You’ll learn: How to recognize when productive thinking has become circling • Why repeatedly asking for advice may leave you with less clarity • How waiting for certainty can quietly keep you stuck • Why intentional movement is different from impulsive action • How a manageable step can give you information that thinking cannot • Four questions to help you determine your next step You don’t have to make one enormous, irreversible decision. Sometimes you simply need to take one intentional step, pay attention to what it reveals, and use that information to decide what comes next. Take the Free Assessment If you know you’re stuck but aren’t sure why, take the free What’s REALLY Holding You Back? assessment. Discover what may be getting between you and where you want to be: https://tally.so/r/J94V1X Join the Kitchen Table Conversation Join Coach Del for the next Bounce Back, Black Woman! Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE on Monday, September 21, 2026, from 8:00–9:00 PM ET. This free virtual gathering will create space for honest conversation, reflection, laughter, and connection. Registration is required, and attendance is limited to 25 women. Register here (or on my website): https://o8dbkm.subscribepage.io Stay Connected with Coach Del 🌐 Website: CoachDel.com 🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms 📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman 💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Episode 133: Coffee, Chemistry, and All the Things We Overthink Dating has a way of turning one cup of coffee into a twelve-part strategic forecast. What should you wear? Will the conversation flow? Will there be chemistry? What if you like him and he doesn’t like you—or he likes you and you don’t like him? In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Del shares the funny story behind an upcoming coffee date that began only after she paid for Bumble—and promptly matched with someone on the free version of Hinge. But the bigger story isn’t the date itself. It’s the growth Del recognized when she realized she wasn’t anxious, future-casting, or trying to decide how she should present herself. She was simply looking forward to meeting another person and seeing whether their easy phone chemistry translated in person. This episode offers a grounded way to approach dating: stay open without getting ahead of yourself, remain discerning without allowing fear to take over, and remember that you are not auditioning for someone else’s approval. In This Episode Why a first date is not an audition The questions to ask yourself instead of only wondering whether the other person likes you Why chemistry can invite another conversation but cannot prove compatibility How we make potential carry the weight of a promise The difference between discernment and fear Why one interaction should be allowed to remain one interaction How to protect yourself without closing yourself off Why rejection or a lack of mutual chemistry is information—not a verdict on your worth How friends can support women who are navigating modern dating Questions to Carry Into Your Next Date Do I feel comfortable? Do I feel heard? Can I relax and be myself? Does this person seem genuinely curious about me? Do their words and behavior align? Do I enjoy the person I am when I’m interacting with them? A Reminder From This Episode The goal of a first date is not to determine whether someone is your person. It is simply to discover whether you would enjoy having a second conversation. You can be hopeful without getting ahead of yourself. You can enjoy someone’s attention without depending on it. You can allow experience to make you wiser without allowing it to make you harder. For Friends Supporting Someone Who Is Dating Practical safety conversations are loving and necessary. But support does not have to turn one date into either a threat assessment or a bridal consultation. Let your friend enjoy the possibility without inflating it or puncturing it. Sometimes the most supportive response is simply: “That sounds promising. Have fun. Be yourself. Pay attention to how you feel, and tell me about it afterward.” Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE Join us on September 21st for the first Bounce Back, Black Woman! Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE. This live virtual gathering will create space for honest conversation about dating, relationships, standards, hope, disappointment, loneliness, companionship, and connection—with plenty of reflection and laughter too. Register to join us  at the Kitchen Table Conversation here! I’d love to have you at the table. What’s REALLY holding you back? If you’re ready to uncover what may be standing between you and where you want to be—and identify your next intentional step—take the free What’s REALLY Holding You Back? assessment. Take the FREE assessment here! Stay Connected with Coach Del 🌐 Website: CoachDel.com 🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms 📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman 💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

STUCK or STILL: How Do You Know the Difference? Being stuck doesn't always mean your whole life has stopped. Sometimes life keeps moving while one part of you keeps circling the same question. In Episode 132 of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Coach Del shares a personal story from her marriage to explore the difference between being stuck and intentionally being still. She also offers a glimpse into the kinds of questions coaching can bring to moments when you know something needs to change but can't seem to get clear about what comes next. In this episode: What “stuck” can actually look like in everyday life The difference between processing what you feel and getting clear about what you want to do Why being still isn't necessarily the same as being stuck Coaching-style questions to help you examine your own situation How to begin identifying what's really holding you back Your Bounce Back Challenge Choose one area of your life where you've been waiting and ask: What's happening inside the waiting? What is staying here costing me? You don't have to solve everything. Start by getting curious about the answers. What's REALLY Holding You Back? If something is keeping you from where you want to be but you aren't quite sure what it is, take Coach Del's free What's REALLY Holding You Back? assessment. Visit BounceBackBlackWoman.com or use the link provided with this episode. Join the Kitchen Table Conversation! Our next live Kitchen Table Conversation is: Monday, September 21, 2026 8:00–9:00 PM ET Free • Live on Zoom Limited to 25 seats REGISTER HERE (or visit BounceBackBlackWoman.com to register) Stay Connected with Coach Del 🌐 Website: CoachDel.com 🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com (Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms) 📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman 💼 Follow on LinkedIn: HERE

Episode 131: Why We Eat, Shop, and Scroll When We're Stressed You've had a DAY. You're stressed, lonely, disappointed, overwhelmed—or maybe you simply feel off. What do you reach for? Food? Amazon? The remote? Social media? Work? A drink? Or maybe...that person you KNOW you have absolutely no business texting? In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Del explores the everyday ways we reach for comfort—and why the behavior itself may not be the most important part of the story. Food isn't inherently the problem. Shopping isn't inherently the problem. Watching television isn't inherently the problem. The deeper question is: What job are you asking that behavior—or person—to do for you? In This Episode Why wanting comfort is completely human The difference between enjoying something and using it to avoid a feeling How food can become more than food Why shopping can provide anticipation, control, reward, or something to look forward to How scrolling, streaming, sleeping, working, and constant busyness can become forms of escape Why some coping behaviors are actually rewarded as productivity or ambition How people, sex, attention, and validation can also become things we "reach for" The difference between comforting yourself and escaping yourself Why paying attention to how you feel afterward can reveal what a behavior is really doing Why simply removing a coping behavior without understanding the need underneath it may not work How awareness creates the opportunity to make a different choice Comfort vs. Numbing Comfort says: "This hurts, and I'm going to care for myself while I'm experiencing it." Numbing says: "I don't want to experience this. Give me something that makes it disappear." Sometimes the exact same activity can be either one. The question isn't simply what you're doing. It's the job you're asking it to perform. A Reminder From This Episode Sometimes we're trying to remove the solution our brain found without addressing the problem it was trying to solve. Instead of immediately asking: "How do I stop doing this?" Try asking: "What does this do for me?" What feeling does it give you? What feeling does it help you avoid? What need are you trying to meet? And is there another way to meet that need without creating another problem? Faith Reflection Psalm 46 reminds us to: "Be still, and know that I am God." Sometimes stillness is difficult because it creates room for the thoughts and feelings we've been trying not to experience. Instead of immediately reaching for something to change how we feel, sometimes we can create enough quiet to simply tell God the truth: I'm lonely. I'm scared. I'm angry. I'm disappointed. I'm exhausted. I'm grieving. I'm overwhelmed. Stillness doesn't require us to solve the feeling. Sometimes it simply helps us recognize it. Bounce Back Challenge This week, catch yourself reaching. You don't even have to stop the behavior. Just pause long enough to ask: What am I feeling right now? What am I hoping this will do for me? Will this comfort me—or am I trying to escape myself for a little while? Then make your choice. The goal isn't perfect behavior. The goal is noticing. Because awareness creates choice. Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE Join us on September 21st for the first Bounce Back, Black Woman! Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE. This live virtual gathering will create space for honest conversation, reflection, laughter, and connection. Follow @BounceBackBlackWoman on Instagram and TikTok and visit BounceBackBlackWoman.com for registration information. I'd love to have you at the table. Stay Connected with Coach Del 🌐 Website: CoachDel.com 🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms 📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman 💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Episode 130: What REALLY Breaks When Your Heart Gets Broken? We use the phrase "broken heart" to describe many different kinds of pain. The death of someone we love. Divorce. Infidelity. The end of a friendship. Abandonment or estrangement. Losing a job. Rejection. These experiences aren't equivalent—but pain is still pain. And sometimes the obvious thing we've lost isn't the only thing that needs healing. In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Del explores the less visible things that can be wounded when something—or someone—we counted on is suddenly gone or fundamentally changed. In This Episode Why your pain doesn't have to be the worst pain in the room to matter How loss can disrupt our sense of safety Why betrayal can damage not only trust in others, but trust in ourselves What happens to our identity when an important relationship, role, or career disappears How new information can change the way we understand our past Why we grieve not only what happened, but the future we expected to have How loss can disrupt our sense of belonging and community What happens when pain complicates our faith Why identifying what was actually wounded can help us understand what needs to be rebuilt A Reminder From This Episode Your pain doesn't have to be the worst pain in the room to deserve your attention. Someone else's suffering doesn't invalidate yours. You can have compassion for another person's pain without abandoning compassion for your own. And healing doesn't require pretending the loss didn't matter. What REALLY Broke? Sometimes the answer isn't simply "my heart." It may have been: Trust Safety Confidence Identity Belonging Faith Hope Your understanding of the past Your vision for the future Your trust in yourself Once you can name what was wounded, you can begin asking what that part of you needs. Faith Reflection Psalm 34:18 reminds us: "The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." God doesn't require our pain to reach a certain level before it matters. And faith doesn't always prevent our hearts from breaking. Sometimes faith reminds us that we aren't alone when they do. Bounce Back Challenge Think about something that hurt you—recently or years ago. Instead of focusing only on what happened, ask: What did this break or wound in me? Then ask: What would rebuilding THIS actually look like? Choose one small action that could begin tending to that specific part of you. Because sometimes we keep trying to heal the event. But the event has already happened. What we can tend to now is what happened inside us because of it. Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE Join us on September 21st for the first Bounce Back, Black Woman! Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE. This virtual gathering will create space for connection, reflection, honest conversation, and community—the kind of conversation that's difficult to have through a podcast microphone alone. Registration details are coming soon! Follow @BounceBackBlackWoman on Instagram and TikTok and visit BounceBackBlackWoman.com to stay connected. Stay Connected with Coach Del 🌐 Website: BounceBackBlackWoman.com 📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman 💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Episode 129: The Strong Black Woman: What Does Carrying It ALL Cost You? Being called a Strong Black Woman can feel like a compliment. You’re capable. Dependable. Resourceful. You figure things out. At work, at home, in your family and friendships, people know they can count on you. But what happens when strength stops being something you have and becomes something you believe you must constantly prove? In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Del examines what it can cost us when “I can handle it” quietly becomes “I have to handle everything.” This isn't about becoming less strong. It's about questioning whether we've defined strength in a way that requires us to carry too much—and recognizing that being capable of carrying something doesn't necessarily mean we should. In This Episode The Strong Black Woman identity — the pride, resilience and capability it represents, and what can happen when strength becomes an expectation Intellect vs. energy — why knowing how to handle something doesn't mean you currently have the capacity to handle it Competence vs. capacity — being capable isn't the same as having unlimited physical, mental or emotional resources Independence vs. interdependence — how “I can do it myself” can quietly become “I have to do everything myself” The invisible load — what we carry physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and through sheer responsibility Social media and comparison — why someone else's visible output tells you very little about the support and infrastructure behind it The relationship cost — how hyper-independence, control and difficulty receiving help can create resentment and disconnection Redefining strength — learning to ask, receive, delegate, rest and allow other people to show up A Reminder From This Episode Competence is not capacity. You can be completely capable of handling something and still be too physically, mentally, emotionally or spiritually depleted to carry it well. And: Just because you CAN carry something doesn't mean you SHOULD. You have already proven you're strong. You don't have to keep exhausting yourself to maintain the evidence. Faith Reflection In Exodus 18, Moses tries to carry the responsibility of leading and resolving the people's problems largely by himself. His father-in-law, Jethro, sees what's happening and warns him that the work is too heavy for one person to handle alone. Moses was capable. He was called. He was leading. And still, the load was too heavy for one person. Sometimes God's provision isn't giving us more strength to carry everything ourselves. Sometimes the provision is other people. Bounce Back Challenge This week, identify one thing you're carrying that doesn't have to be carried by you alone. Maybe it's something practical you can delegate. Maybe it's an emotional burden you need to share with someone you trust. Maybe it's asking your partner, friend or family member for help instead of waiting for them to notice. Maybe it's paying for help if you have the resources. Maybe it's simply allowing something to remain undone. And before you automatically say, “It's easier if I just do it myself,” ask: Easier for whom—and at what cost? The goal isn't to prove you can carry everything. The goal is to build a life in which you don't have to. Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE On September 21st, we're taking the Kitchen Table Conversation LIVE! This virtual gathering will be an opportunity to connect, reflect, and have the kind of honest conversations that are difficult to have through a podcast microphone alone. More details—including registration information—are coming soon. Save the date: September 21st. Stay Connected with Coach Del 🌐 Website: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms 📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman 💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Episode 128: Too Busy? Why It's Time to Rediscover What You Enjoy When life gets full, the things we do simply because they bring us joy are often the first things to disappear. Sometimes that's because life became painful. Sometimes it became demanding. And sometimes life became full of genuinely good things—careers, relationships, children, businesses, responsibilities and opportunities. But when was the last time you asked yourself: What do I actually enjoy doing? In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Del explores why enjoyment deserves a place in an intentional life—even when it produces absolutely nothing. You'll hear about: Why good things can exhaust us, too Rediscovering things you once loved Giving the current version of yourself permission to discover something new Why adults can struggle with being beginners The pressure to be "good" at our hobbies Why everything you're good at doesn't need to become a side hustle Making room for joy before everything else on the to-do list is finished Enjoyment as part of intentional living—not a reward for completing it A reminder from this episode: You don't have to be good at everything you enjoy. And you don't have to make money from everything you're good at. Faith Reflection Ecclesiastes 3:12–13 (NLT) reminds us that enjoying the fruits of our lives and our labor can itself be a gift from God. Bounce Back Challenge Do one thing this week simply because you enjoy it. It doesn't have to make you better. It doesn't have to make you money. You don't have to share it. And you don't have to be good at it. Enjoyment is reason enough. Stay Connected with Coach Del 🌐 Website: CoachDel.com 🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms 📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman 💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith

Episode 127: The 5 REAL Reasons You Can't Fix Someone You Love "If they would just listen to me..." Whether it's a spouse, best friend, sibling, parent, or adult child, watching someone you love make choices you don't understand can be incredibly frustrating—especially when you believe you can see exactly what they should do differently. But what if the answer isn't finding a better way to "fix" them? In this episode of Bounce Back, Black Woman!, Del explores what we really mean when we talk about wanting to fix someone we love—and the important difference between recognizing genuinely destructive behavior and simply wanting someone to make the choices we would make. In this episode: They may not be broken—they may simply be different from you. Different priorities, communication styles, values, or choices don't automatically mean something needs to change. They may not actually want to change. You can't manufacture readiness in another person, no matter how clearly you can see another path for them. You may not be speaking their language. Sometimes the person wants support—but not the kind of support you're offering. You may be solving the problem you see instead of the problem they have. Curiosity can reveal what's underneath the situation that looks so obvious from the outside. Their life isn't yours to author. You can love, support, encourage, tell the truth, pray, and establish boundaries—but another adult's choices still belong to them. And that's where the conversation shifts from fixing them to understanding your choices. You can decide how you communicate. You can decide what support you're willing to offer. You can establish boundaries. You can decide what behaviors you will participate in. You can choose your proximity. And sometimes, you can decide whether to stay or go. A reminder from this episode: You may not get to choose whether they change. But you do get to choose your proximity to what they're choosing. Loving someone deeply doesn't require taking responsibility for becoming the author of their life. Faith Reflection Galatians 6:5 (NLT) reminds us: "For we are each responsible for our own conduct." We can help carry one another's burdens without assuming responsibility for one another's choices. Sometimes faith means doing what love requires of you—and trusting God with what belongs to them. Bounce Back Challenge Think about someone you love whom you've been trying to help, change, rescue—or maybe even "fix." Ask yourself: Did they actually ask me to solve this? What part of this situation genuinely belongs to me? What choice is mine to make now? Maybe it's listening instead of advising. Maybe it's asking a better question. Maybe it's establishing a boundary. Maybe it's offering help and allowing them to decide whether to accept it. Whatever the answer, remember: Their choices belong to them. And yours belong to you. Stay Connected with Coach Del 🌐 Website: CoachDel.com 🎙️ Podcast: BounceBackBlackWoman.com Available on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, and all major podcast platforms 📱 Follow on Instagram & TikTok: @BounceBackBlackWoman 💼 Follow on LinkedIn: @delphinesmith