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Matt and Erin are wrapping up Season 1 of The Autistic VOICE Project this week — and after 48 episodes, they’re talking honestly about burnout, sustainability, community, and what it takes to keep showing up as Autistic people doing work they care about. We cover: Why we're taking a summer break and what autistic burnout actually looks like in real lifeEnergy accounting, reducing barriers, and finding ways to make daily life more sustainableThe difference between stopping completely and intentionally cutting back before burnout gets worseWhy asking for help can be part of healthy community careBuilding a podcast without burning ourselves out financially, emotionally, or physicallyIdeas for Patreon, merch, sponsors, and ways listeners can help support the future of the showUpcoming plans for Season 2, including new guests from the Autistic community, artists, and creatorsAlso: leaking foundation walls, Prius appreciation, shampoo-bodywash-conditioner "all-in-one goo," PBS pledge drive energy, dethroning Joe Rogan, Dan Aykroyd's elusive guest appearance, Star Wars memes, Godzilla sponsorship dreams, and Bob from Topeka. We're taking the summer to rest, regroup, and build something more sustainable behind the scenes. Thank you for listening, sharing, and being part of this community. We'll see you in August.

Matt, Erin, and friend of the show Hunter Hammersen are here this week talking about something a whole lot of Autistic people want and struggle with at the same time: friendship. Specifically, how do you make local, in-person friends when leaving the house already feels exhausting? Hunter shares her deeply Autistic, surprisingly effective friendship protocol involving spreadsheets, rules, recurring events, and finding “friend-shaped people” in places like libraries, rock shops, yarn stores, and grocery stores. The conversation digs into rejection sensitivity, masking, awkwardness, and why being “one sentence weirder” in public can actually help you find your people. We cover:• Why Autistic people aren’t actually “bad at people”• Going to events three times before deciding you hate them• “Autism sparkle” and signaling safely to other weirdos in public• Different levels of friendship and why acquaintances matter too• Building community through low-pressure invitations and shared activities• The difference between authentic connection and performing neurotypical social rules Also: Joanne Fabrics grief, silent book clubs, purple grocery store masks, Mary Poppins crack dealer energy, fabric scissors as weapons, and Matt describing himself as Gollum in public.

Matt and Erin are back for another mailbag episode — and this one gets deeply personal. From losing an “anchor person” to navigating autistic grief, relationships, PDA parenting, and co-regulation, this episode explores what happens when the people who help hold our world together are suddenly gone or overwhelmed. It’s vulnerable, funny, heartbreaking, and very, very autistic. We cover: Why autistic grief can feel like losing your “internal compass” — not just a loved one How partners, friends, and safe people often function as essential disability supports The fear, disorientation, and loneliness that can come after losing an “anchor person” Matt and Erin’s personal experiences with divorce, loss, burnout, and rebuilding stability PDA parenting, “dueling gremlins,” and how co-regulation creates room for flexibility Why autistic love is often rooted in safety, routine, and nervous system relief Transformers, Doctor Who, fountains, art galaxies, chicken nuggets, and the sacred role of biscuits and gravy Also: the loneliest whale in the ocean, emotional support toast, “people…” as a replacement swear word, and Matt casually admitting he’d probably make a good spicy audiobook narrator.

Matt, Erin, and guest Nyck Walsh are here this week — and this episode turns into a really good conversation about somatic therapy, autistic processing, nervous systems, sensory joy, and why neutrality can feel radical when your body has spent years stuck in survival mode. We talk about: Rocks, Nintendo buttons, foodgasms, hypervigilance, and the very real experience of trying to exist in a world that keeps demanding “normal”Nyck explains “VAST” (Variable Attention Stimulus Trait) as a more affirming alternative to ADHD languageWhy a lot of somatic therapy can accidentally become ableist when interoception differences aren’t consideredThe autistic processing pause: looking away, slowing down, and needing time to actually build an accurate responseUsing rocks, pets, blankets, textures, fidgets, and sensory anchors to ground in the present momentThe difference between sympathetic overdrive and parasympathetic rest — and why many autistic people rarely get to experience neutralityHow pleasure, sensory joy, and “stopping to smell the roses” can become survival tools instead of luxuriesCats, Caprese omelets, NES controller fidgets, and the very important concept of the food danceNyck’s new book Neurodivergent Somatics and Therapy and the upcoming audiobook narrated by Nyck themself Also: Erin accidentally inventing “somagic,” Tuck the adventure cat making emotional drive-bys, and a surprisingly deep discussion about how touching a really good rock can help keep your nervous system online. This is a ride. We’re glad you’re here.

This episode gets into perimenopause through an autistic lens—what it actually feels like, why it hits differently in autistic bodies, and how little real guidance exists. Matt, Erin, and Eleda talk through the biology, the lived experience, and the frustration of trying to make sense of something that affects so many people but still isn’t well understood—especially when you add autism into the mix. We cover: How sensory differences can amplify menopause symptoms (hot flashes, sweat, fatigue, migraines) into something much more intenseThe overlap between hormones, histamines, and autoimmune conditions—and why everything can spike at onceThe lack of research, missed diagnoses, and why so many autistic people are left figuring this out on their ownReal, often overlooked symptoms (phantom smells, joint pain, anxiety surges) and what it’s like not knowing what’s happening to your bodyWhat it takes to advocate for care, find informed providers, and experiment with supports like HRTThere’s no clean roadmap here. Just real talk, shared experience, and a starting point for conversations we should’ve been having a long time ago.

Matt, Erin, and Eleda get into special interests, collections, and what it means to have a space where Autistic joy isn’t hidden—it’s the whole point. This one’s about building community through the things we love, and why that matters more than most people realize. We cover: Turning a business into a place where people come to connect—not just buy things Why collections matter (and what happens to them when we’re gone) The shame people are taught to feel about joy—and why we reject that Autistic joy, special interests, and being “too much” for other people Finding your people—whether that’s a shop, a hobby group, or this podcast Also: unicorn collections, tiny horse economies, estate herds, and the real work of building (and protecting) a personal museum of the things you love.

Matt and Erin are joined by Eleda Towle, an Autistic store owner whose lifelong focus on model horses turned into a business—and a gathering place for other Autistic people. This one moves the way Autistic conversations often do: tangents, deep dives, and a lot of “wait, that connects to this.” It’s about discovery, community, and what happens when people finally find their thing—and their people. We cover: Eleda’s late autism discovery at 52—and the moment everything started to make sense Building a business around monotropic focus (yes, plastic horses) and accidentally creating Autistic community space Why Autistic conversations “maze” instead of staying linear—and why that’s not a problem to fix The deep (and very real) Autistic roots of toy culture—from model horses to My Little Pony lore Intrinsic motivation, PDA, and why “just try harder” doesn’t work for Autistic people Self-directed learning, reward systems, and a nonprofit using play to support neurodivergent kids Side note: yes, we go from horses → Ninja Turtles → Brainspotting → electric towers → taxes → government frustration… and it all makes sense if you’re following the thread. That’s the point. This is what it sounds like when autistic people talk to each other. A little chaotic. Very real. And honestly, kind of the best way to understand how our brains actually work.

Matt, Erin, and Jamie Roberts are here this week—and we get into identity development for autistic teens, the pressure to turn yourself into something “useful,” and what it actually looks like to figure out who you are when the world keeps handing you scripts that don’t fit. It’s real, a little chaotic, and very recognizable. We cover:• Why identity gets tangled up with productivity, money, and “what are you going to do with that?”—and how to separate who you are from what you earn• The role of interests (yes, even YouTube, gaming, makeup, or “too much time online”) as actual data—not distractions—and how adults can either shut that down or build from it• Using “experiments” instead of pressure—trying things, gathering information, adjusting, and trying again without making it a pass/fail identity crisis• The difference between “this is hard because it’s new” and “this is hard because it doesn’t fit me”—and why that distinction matters• Representation, visibility, and why seeing someone like you (purple hair, special interests, all of it) can shift what feels possible• Jamie’s book Neurodiversity for Teen Girls and the six “gem” archetypes—how different autistic teens navigate identity, masking, relationships, and self-advocacy Also: Lord of the Rings name drops, musical theater brain tangents, Lego reward systems for finishing a book (yes, really), and a solid reminder that “sucking at something” is part of learning—not a sign to quit. Side note:This one stays with the same core message we keep coming back to—there’s no clean, linear way to figure out who you are. It’s messy. It’s iterative. It’s a lot of “try this, nope, not that.” And yeah, that’s frustrating. But it’s also how identity actually forms. This is the way.

Matt, Erin, and guest Jamie Roberts sit down to talk about autistic teen girls—the ones who get missed, mislabeled, and pushed through systems that don’t fit. This is about what’s actually happening underneath the behaviors adults dismiss. Highlights: Why teen girls are overlooked in diagnosis—especially when they’re labeled with anxiety, depression, or “typical teen behavior” instead of being understood as neurodivergentHarm reduction as a real, non-shaming approach to self-harm—what it is, why it works, and how teens use pain to regulate overwhelming or absent emotionsThe pressure to conform during adolescence—and how masking, school systems, and social expectations create impossible standards for autistic teensWe also get into sensory needs, emotional regulation, and why “just deal with it” isn’t a skill—it’s a setup. Plus: tangents on capitalism, school systems, and the quiet ways autonomy gets denied to teens (especially girls).

This week, we’re talking about chaos—the real kind. The kind that shows up in your body, your routines, your relationships, and your nervous system. Matt and Erin break down what it actually means to be a bottom-up processor in a world that expects you to “just wing it,” and why autistic people aren’t overreacting to unpredictability—we’re responding to a lack of usable data. Highlights: Bottom-up vs. top-down processing—and why autistic brains need more data, not fewer expectations How chaos shows up in real life (inventory week, disrupted routines, missed plans) and why it hits so hard The cost of constant calculation—burnout, illness, exhaustion, and why it’s not a personal failure Flow state, interruptions, and transitions—why being “pulled out” can feel like something breaking Predictability, consistency, and safety—from daily routines to why sameness (yes, even food) matters Also: Batman as a chaos-fighting autistic icon, why “winging it” is not a neutral skill, and what it means to build systems that actually support autistic lives. This is a grounded, honest look at why chaos isn’t just inconvenient—it’s a full-body experience.

Matt and Erin take this one straight on: why autism “awareness” looks the way it does—and who built it that way. This is about power, bad science, and what happens when non-autistic voices control the narrative. Highlights from this episode:• Why outdated theories (like “lack of theory of mind”) still shape diagnosis, services, and public understanding—and why they don’t actually hold up in real autistic lives• How research built on young, white, cis boys created a distorted definition of autism that leaves most people out• The difference between self-identification and medical diagnosis—and why one is about knowing yourself, while the other is about access and gatekeeping• How capitalism shows up in autism: “functioning levels,” ABA, productivity, and who gets labeled valuable (yeah… we go there)• What gets missed when clinicians only trust what they can observe—and ignore lived experience entirely• Real examples of how autistic joy (like deep interests and repetition) gets mislabeled as a problem instead of understood as regulation and meaning• Why listening to autistic people isn’t optional—it’s the only way this starts to make sense There’s also some real talk about burnout in the field, misdiagnosis, and the quiet harm of “bad reports” written inside broken systems. And yeah—this one gets a little chaotic (on purpose). Because the system is chaotic. And trying to force simple answers onto complex autistic lives? That’s part of the problem.

Small talk is weird. Especially when you’re autistic. This week, Matt, Erin, and returning guest Dr. Kade Sharp dig into why neurotypical small talk revolves around scripts like weather and sports, while autistic conversations often jump straight into deeper topics, shared interests, and joyful info-dumps. Highlights from this episode: Why small talk works as “social lubrication” for neurotypicals — and why it often feels pointless or exhausting for autistic people How parallel play and shared activities (like gaming) can be a more natural way for autistic folks to connect The surprising lesson from a game where small talk is literally just a button you push The difference between helpful structure and overwhelming social guesswork Why autistic conversations often center curiosity, depth, and special interests instead of scripts Also in this episode: IKEA instructions as a metaphor for autistic life without clear signposts, guild dynamics in online games, and why an enthusiastic info-dump might actually be the most honest form of connection. Real talk. Autistic joy. And a reminder that connection doesn’t have to look like weather updates and sports scores. This is the way.

This week’s episode happened fast. Matt and Erin pulled in returning guest Dr. Kade Sharp to talk through a situation unfolding in real time—and why it matters far beyond one state. We talk about the sudden policy in Kansas invalidating driver’s licenses for many trans people, what that actually means in everyday life, and why community support and mutual aid matter right now. Highlights from the episode: What the Kansas policy means in practice—how invalidating IDs can affect driving, voting, pharmacy access, and safety for trans peopleThe overlap between autistic and trans communities, and how systems often gatekeep gender-affirming care through letters, bureaucracy, and barriersPractical ways to help: mutual aid, organizations like Rainbow Sanctuary and the Resilience Postcard Project, and how allies can show up even without moneySide note:This episode moves between serious policy discussion and very real Autistic tangents—because that’s how conversations actually work. We talk about activism, community care, workplace small talk scripts, reality TV social games, and why sometimes the most helpful thing you can do is simple: show up, support people, and make sure nobody is facing this stuff alone. Resources Mentioned in This Episode: Autistic Connections: Available on Facebook and Discord, Autistic Connections is a community space where listeners can connect and continue conversations. Rainbow Sanctuary (Emporia, Kansas): Queer-led multi-faith sanctuary supporting LGBTQ+ people and organizing practical support for trans residents affected by recent policies. Resilience Postcard Project: Community effort sending supportive postcards and messages to trans people and trans youth who may be isolated or unsafe.https://transresiliencestudy.com/resilience-postcard-project/ ACLU: Civil liberties organization currently involved in legal challenges related to discriminatory policies.https://www.aclu.org PFLAG: Longstanding advocacy and support organization for LGBTQ+ people and their families.https://pflag.org Van Ethan Levy Gender-Affirming Care Training and Provider List: Training and provider directory for clinicians who write gender-affirming care letters with reduced gatekeeping.https://www.dosomethingidentities.org Aces Up Your Sleeve Podcast: Podcast co-hosted by Kade Sharp focused on sexuality, neurodivergence, and identity.https://neurokink.org/auys Bonus Resources: These weren't mentioned in the show, but came to our attention afterwards. Since we want folks to have as many resources as possible, here they are. Trans Continental Pipeline: Volunteer network helping trans people relocate to safer states, including housing coordination and relocation support with a focus on Colorado.https://tcpipeline.org/ Trans Continental Pipeline – Additional Relocation Projects: Page listing partner relocation efforts helping trans people move to states beyond Colorado when safety or legal access to care is threatened.https://tcpipeline.org/notco/

Matt and Erin flip the script this week — Erin takes the lead, and Matt talks about living as a PDAer. It’s direct. It’s personal. And yes, there are breadsticks. We’re talking about what PDA actually is (and isn’t), why “pathological demand avoidance” misses the point, and what changes when we reframe it as a persistent drive for autonomy. Highlights from this episode: Why “pathological” says more about the system than the person — and why autonomy isn’t a disorder What PDA feels like on the inside: the spike, the interruption, the hierarchy aversion, and the need for safety Low-demand parenting in real life — negotiating poop schedules, air fryer independence, and yes-and dinner planning The difference between situational demand avoidance and the constant push-pull many PDAers live with Why trust changes everything — and how offering real choices (not fake ones) builds flexibility Boundaries still matter. No hitting. No harm. But how we approach limits makes all the difference Respect over compliance. Personhood over productivity. Humans over resources We also cover: Gmail login meltdowns, silent phones, corgis in human suits, community mental health productivity bonuses, black roses, Johnny Cash train sets, and why sometimes the fastest way to connection is an Olive Garden breadstick. Side note: If you’ve ever wondered, “Isn’t a low-demand approach just enabling?” — we talk about that. Directly. Safety isn’t indulgence. It’s oxygen. And when PDAers feel safe and respected, they can do hard things. Not because they were forced. Because they chose to. We are not defiant. We are not mean. We are wired for autonomy and safety. And when trust is real, flexibility grows.

Matt, Erin, and returning guest Kate McNulty are back — and this one moves from burnout to shame to safety, with stops at birds, clocks, and emotional support cheese. We’re talking about what happens when your spark goes out… and how to find it again without shaming yourself into motion. We cover:• How to rebuild momentum in burnout — from “skip a step” strategies to using curiosity as fuel• What shame actually is, how it forms in dysregulated relationships, and why it disconnects us from safety• Fawning, appeasement, and nervous system survival — and why victims aren’t “choosing” compliance• Why reclaiming autistic joy, collections, and special interests is resistance — not selfishness There’s honest conversation here about re-parenting yourself while raising autistic kids, being shamed for what you love, and why honoring your natural cycles matters more than burning out in glory. If you’re feeling stuck, flat, or ashamed of the very things that light you up, this one’s for you. And yes — we still want to see the cats in cosplay.