Advertise on podcast: Better Gay Dating

First dates aren't the only important moment in getting to know someone new, but they are one important moment. Here are six great ways to go on better first dates.   Check out my new self-study courses: https://bettergaydating.com/courses For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com   Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating   Sources: [1] https://www.psychologicalscience.org/journals/psychological-science/0956797617714580/  [2] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5837906/  [3] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/pere.12307

Let's be honest, emotional maturity is not very evenly distributed in this dating pool. Here's why that happens, and what it means for how we choose partners and build relationships in this community.   Check out my new self-study courses: https://bettergaydating.com/courses For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com   Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating   Sources: [1] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC9298910/ [2] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC12499921/ [3] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37410349/ [4] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/27869454/ [5] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32833471/ [6] https://x.com/AdamMGrant/status/1601978757278945280 [7] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1080/016502599383739

We usually think of love as a feeling, something we fall into. But the truth is much actually simpler and more encouraging than that: love is an action. It's something we nurture, build and sustain. In this episode I unpack what that means. Check out my new self-study courses: https://bettergaydating.com/courses  For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating   Sources: [1] https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/35219607-the-art-of-loving [2] bell hooks: All About Love, 5 [3] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/jftr.12205

Physical appearance does carry a lot of weight in gay culture, for better and worse. In this episode, I unpack what's going on here, what science says about how looks do and don't matter in relationships, and what it all means for navigating gay dating. Check out my new self-study courses: https://bettergaydating.com/courses For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating   Sources: [1] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/10825783/  [2] https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1111/j.1559-1816.1980.tb00715.x  [3] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18211175/  [4] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34713429/  [5]  https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886909000452  [6] https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F1524-9220.4.1.3  [7] https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/32719123/  [8] https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC11638697/

And the podcast is back! In this episode, it's a deep dive into personal growth and what it takes to build a happy long-term relationships — and how to spot who's actually ready to build one with you. Check out my new self-study courses: https://bettergaydating.com/courses For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating

We often talk about spotting red flags in gay dating, but what about the green ones? In this episode I do a deep dive on the fundamental green flags that show someone is ready for a stable, loving connection with others.   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com   Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating

Shame isn't always fun to talk about, but it's a powerful and often unrecognized force that impacts why dating in our community is like it is. So in this episode, we'll look at the subtle ways shame often shows up in gay dating — and how we can heal it to build stronger connections.   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating   Sources: [1] https://medium.com/@rahimthawer/sexuality-and-the-imprint-of-shame-what-queer-guys-and-their-therapists-need-to-know-part-1-3-4e5bd7caeca7 [2] https://sk.sagepub.com/ency/edvol/socialpsychology/chpt/selfverification-theory [3] https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/49418.The_Velvet_Rage

Ghosting kind of sucks. But statistically, most of us have been ghosted *and* we've ghosted someone else. So what can we do to break this cycle and create a culture of clearer and kinder communication in gay dating?   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com   Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating   Sources: [1] https://medium.com/@hingeapp/ghosting-d3248b07bc5f [2] https://www.science.org/content/article/rejection-pain-brain

So yeah, I get asked about my personal life from time to time. In this episode, I wanted to talk a bit about what my life looks like right now, but also about how we often think about singlehood — because there's a lot to unpack there too.   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com   Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating

Most of us have been there — we stuck it out with someone who definitely wasn't right for us. But why do we choose partners who aren't right for us? And how do we choose better?   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating

In this episode I peel back the curtain on how gay relationship coaching works, what we actually do in the sessions, and how it'll transform the way you think about making connections in this community. If you're curious about working with a relationship coach, this deep dive is for you.   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating

For more than 80 years, researchers at Harvard have studied what makes us truly happy. Here's what they found — and what it means for us as queer men.   Find out more about "The Good Life": https://the-good-life-book.com I read the European edition which was published in 2025 but the first edition (with a different cover) was published in the US in 2023.   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating   Sources: [1] Waldinger & Schultz: The Good Life, 10 [2] https://www.vice.com/en/article/how-many-close-friends-do-you-actually-need-science-says-theres-a-number/ [3] The Good Life, 28 [4] The Good Life, 44 [5] The Good Life, 48  [6] The Good Life, 49 [7] The Good Life, 258

If you're kind of over the apps right now... you're not alone. Here's your in-depth guide to making great new connections in person — where to do it, how to do it, and why it often leads to deeper connections 🌈   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com   Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating

Sometimes gay men believe all kinds of crazy sh*t about our relationships — and ourselves 🤷‍♀️ Let's unpack what's going on here and how we can think about things differently.   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating   Sources:  [1] https://eu.usatoday.com/story/life/health-wellness/2024/01/04/toxic-relationships-often-begin-with-the-spark-go-for-this-instead/71991437007/ [2] https://www.reddit.com/r/AskGaybrosOver30/comments/11o2p3b/anyone_ever_found_their_long_partner_after_40/ (Thanks to all the Reddit users who shared their stories on this post!) [3] https://econtent.hogrefe.com/doi/abs/10.1027/1016-9040/a000259

In this episode, I wanted to talk about my background as a musician, how I became a coach, and what it all means for me today. Oh, and about the time I played the piano for Ian McKellen. It's a window into my unconventional, creative and occasionally wild life, and how it somehow all ties neatly together.   Support the show and help me keep the episodes coming: https://bettergaydating.com/podcast Buy my book, Boys Who Like Boys: https://bettergaydating.com/bwlb For coaching, group programs and more: https://bettergaydating.com Subscribe on YouTube: https://youtube.com/@BetterGayDating?sub_confirmation=1 Instagram: https://instagram.com/bettergaydating Threads: https://threads.com/bettergaydating