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How much of the way people treat us is shaped by what we’ve taught them to expect? In this episode, Tony explores boundaries as an instruction manual for how people interact with us. Every yes, every no, every behavior we address—and every behavior we ignore—is writing that manual. Pasted text We explore why boundaries aren’t about controlling others or building walls. They’re about getting clear on what you need, communicating it, and being consistent. Pasted text In this episode: Kim Scott’s Radical Candor and why clarity can be an act of careBig Sean’s “Boundaries” and deciding who gets access to your time and energyWhy resentment can be a signal of an unspoken expectationThe difference between a boundary and an ultimatumWhy someone being disappointed by your boundary doesn’t mean it’s wrongA simple exercise for setting one boundary this week Pasted text Pasted text

This episode breaks down a career development idea Tony heard from Michael Hyter of the Executive Leadership Council: the skills that make you successful as an individual contributor are not always the skills that make you effective as a leader. Tony uses that framework to explain why technical competence matters, but why connection and influence become more important as your scope grows. He also ties the idea to AI, arguing that as technical work gets easier to access, human skills like trust, coaching, judgment, and reading the room become even more valuable. Key Topics Tony opens with Michael Hyter’s three-part model for career growth: technical skills, relational skills, and influencing skills.He argues that competence gets you noticed, promoted, and trusted early in your career, but leadership requires more than being the person who knows the answer.Tony describes the vicious cycle of dependency, overwhelm, and disconnect when leaders answer every question instead of coaching people toward solutions.He reframes leadership value as helping others learn how to find the answer, not just providing it.Tony defines connection as real human skill, including listening, disagreeing without damaging relationships, giving feedback without triggering defensiveness, and creating trust.He argues that relationships are the infrastructure of organizations because they move information faster, surface problems earlier, and improve execution.Influence is presented as understanding how work actually gets done across functions, not manipulation or office politics.Tony connects the conversation to AI, saying technology can assist with analysis and writing, but it cannot replace judgment, empathy, coaching, or difficult conversations.He offers a practical self-assessment exercise: divide 100 development points among competence, connection, and influence, then compare that to what your current role actually requires. Timestamps 00:51 - Why being the problem solver can become a leadership trap 01:50 - Competence as the foundation of credibility 02:20 - Why leaders must develop others instead of always solving for them 03:16 - The bottleneck problem and how leaders accidentally create dependency 04:15 - Coaching people toward solutions instead of taking over 04:45 - The bar: competence, connection, and influence as the leadership formula 05:40 - AI raises the value of human skills, not just technical ones 07:26 - Influence versus politics, and why cross-functional work matters 08:25 - How AI changes access to technical work 09:50 - The three C’s: competence, connection, influence 10:19 - The 100-point self-assessment exercise 12:39 - Why leaders communicate to help others understand 13:37 - What are you still trying to prove? 14:06 - Expanding what others can do may be the real next level 14:36 - One behavior to improve this week 15:04 - Don’t confuse gratitude for old skills with dependence on them 15:34 - Closing challenge: become the leader you need to be next Action Items Write down competence, connection, and influence.Allocate 100 points to reflect how you have invested in your career so far.Allocate the same 100 points based on what your current role actually requires.Identify the biggest gap.Choose one behavior to improve this week:Connection: have one conversation focused only on understanding someone else.Influence: speak to one stakeholder before your next big meeting.Competence: deepen expertise in one area that improves judgment.Focus on 1 percent better, not proving old strengths.

This episode explores the importance of accepting compliments graciously, the difference between humility and self-deprecation, and how genuine acknowledgment can foster growth and confidence. The host shares personal insights, research findings, and practical tips to help listeners build a positive mindset around recognition. Key Topics The psychology behind accepting complimentsResearch on how compliments affect us and othersThe difference between humility and self-deprecationStrategies for accepting praise without diminishing yourselfThe role of compliments in personal and professional growthThe impact of deflecting compliments on likability and competencePractical tips for giving and receiving genuine praiseThe importance of noticing and acknowledging others' efforts Takeaways Accept compliments with a simple thank you to build likability and confidence.Recognize that genuine compliments are deposits in your self-esteem bank account.Avoid deflecting or dismissing praise, as it can be perceived as less warm or competent.Understand that accepting praise does not make you arrogant; it affirms your worth.Practice giving specific, sincere compliments to others daily.Reflect on the stories you tell yourself about your worth and how compliments can challenge them.Remember that acknowledging others' strengths fosters a positive environment for growth.Build your self-esteem by keeping promises to yourself and recognizing your progress. Sound bites "Compliments make us feel better and cost nothing""Rejection of praise conflicts with our self-story""Accept compliments to appear warm and competent" Chapters 00:01 — Taking a compliment01:01 — Respect the compliment01:31 — Cal notices people02:30 — Compliments help both people03:01 — Jay-Z and the bar for confidence05:25 — The first-time manager comparison trap08:55 — Move the mean09:22 — Why we reject compliments11:12 — Compliments as deposits12:13 — Learning to receive praise14:13 — Noticing people in everyday life15:13 — The tone of deflection16:09 — Making yourself smaller17:08 — The practical response18:07 — You are worthy of compliments19:02 — What compliment is hard to believe?19:30 — The one-compliment-a-day challenge20:29 — Final takeaway

This episode explores how fear influences our decisions and how to respect and manage it effectively. The host shares personal experiences, mental models like fear setting, and practical steps to move through fear with active optimism. Keywords fear, self-development, mental models, active optimism, moving through fear, personal growth, resilience, fear setting, motivation, self-awareness Key Topics The role of fear in human survival and growthFear setting exercise by Tim FerrisThe concept of active optimismBreaking free from self-imposed expectationsThe importance of self-awareness in fear managementThe metaphor of building a bridge across a canyonChanging the internal dialogue to move forwardRecognizing when fear is protective versus preventingThe impact of societal and self-imposed expectationsPractical exercises to confront and manage fear Takeaways Fear is a natural emotion that can protect or prevent us, depending on how we respect it.Fear setting involves writing down worst-case scenarios to make them manageable.Active optimism is about taking action despite fear, like building a bridge one board at a time.Self-awareness helps distinguish between fear that protects us and fear that holds us back.Small, consistent actions can help move through fear and build confidence. Chapters 00:00 Introduction: Why understanding fear matters01:55 Fear as a protector and a barrier to growth04:07 The story of fear and expectations06:02 Fear setting exercise: confronting the worst-case scenario07:59 Clarifying your purpose and motivations09:52 Active optimism: building bridges with action12:07 Changing the internal dialogue: moving the mean13:00 Recognizing when fear is protective versus preventing13:58 Practical steps: writing the worst fear and recovery plan14:50 Respect the fear: it has a purpose, but doesn't have to control you

This episode is a solo reflection on leadership, coaching, and personal growth through the lens of process over outcome. Tony uses Nick Saban’s coaching philosophy, Phil Jackson’s approach to competition, and ideas from cognitive behavioral therapy to show why focusing on the next right behavior creates better results than obsessing over the scoreboard. The core message is simple: whether you are leading a team, speaking publicly, building a business, or just trying to improve yourself, progress comes from mastering ordinary actions one at a time. Key Topics Tony frames the episode around a common trap: becoming fixated on outcomes like promotions, better speaking, stronger teams, or audience growth.Nick Saban’s “process” philosophy is the central example, especially the idea of coaching what can be controlled instead of coaching the scoreboard.A key turning point comes from Dr. Lonnie Rosen, who urged Saban to narrow the focus to the next play, the next block, and the next tackle.Tony connects Saban’s “coach the seven seconds” mindset to the broader idea of staying within your sphere of influence.Phil Jackson’s Eleven Rings and a Lao Tzu quote are used to reinforce the idea of competing with presence, trust, and awareness rather than scoreboard obsession.Tony emphasizes that championships are the byproduct of doing fundamentals well, not the primary objective.The episode ties these ideas to Lean, continuous improvement, and Aaron Beck’s CBT principle of focusing on the right next action.Tony gets personal about launching his podcast and realizing he was chasing downloads instead of respecting his own process.The practical takeaway is to replace a vague outcome goal with one concrete behavior you can execute today.The closing challenge: write down one goal, then identify the one behavior that moves you toward it, and win today instead of trying to win the month. Timestamps (00:00) Opening reflection on outcome pressure and why process matters (01:00) Introducing Nick Saban as the week’s leadership lesson (01:57) Michigan State, Ohio State, and the problem of focusing on uncontrollable outcomes (02:25) Dr. Lonnie Rosen and the shift to coaching the next play (03:27) Why Saban stopped coaching outcomes and started coaching behaviors (03:55) Phil Jackson, Eleven Rings, and the Lao Tzu quote on non-competition (05:09) The “spirit of play” and coaching presence over scoreboard anxiety (06:23) Championships as byproducts, not the objective (06:52) Lean, Aaron Beck, and the shared logic of process-focused improvement (07:21) Tony’s personal example: chasing downloads instead of following the process (08:17) Why this idea applies to speaking, leadership, business, and continuous improvement (09:15) CBT, thoughts, emotions, and the power of the next right behavior (09:59) Mastering ordinary moments and building leaders one decision at a time (10:28) How great leaders make the next step obvious (11:19) Coaching corner challenge: replace the outcome with one behavior (11:48) Write the goal, write one behavior, and stack daily wins (12:17) Closing reminder: extraordinary leadership is built in ordinary moments

In this episode, we explore the universal challenge of stage fright, sharing practical strategies to manage anxiety and transform nervous energy into confidence. Whether you're speaking in public or in front of a small group, learn how to reframe your mindset and prepare effectively. Key Topics: Understanding stage fright as a natural human responseBreathing techniques like box breathing to calm nervesThe importance of self-talk and positive framingHow Toastmasters creates a supportive environment for practiceUsing pauses and tone to command attention and confidenceThe role of preparation and mindset in public speakingEminem's 'Lose Yourself' as an analogy for stage frightStrategies to reframe anxiety as excitement Takeaways Stage fright is a common experience that can be managed with proper techniques.Breathing exercises like box breathing help regulate nervous system responses.Positive self-talk is crucial in building confidence before speaking.Practicing in supportive environments like Toastmasters accelerates skill development.Pausing and tone control can significantly impact audience engagement.Reframing nervous energy as excitement transforms the speaking experience. Chapters 00:00 Introduction to stage fright and its commonality01:02 Fight, flight, or freeze: understanding your response02:37 The human experience of feeling nervous before speaking04:20 Taking control: strategies to mitigate stage fright06:25 How Toastmasters helps build public speaking confidence09:56 Eminem's 'Lose Yourself' and the feeling of stage fright11:11 Breathing techniques: managing anxiety with box breathing12:55 Reframing self-talk to boost confidence14:40 The importance of tone and pauses in effective communication15:34 Transforming your mindset to become a tone setter

In this episode of "Respect the Tone," host Tony explores what truly defines a thought leader. He emphasizes that it's not about followers or posting frequency but about fostering originality, clarity, and conviction in your ideas. Discover practical steps to develop your perspective and earn influence over time. Key Topics The true meaning of being a thought leader versus social media followersCharacteristics of effective thought leaders: clear point of view, original ideas, and convictionThe importance of shaping conversations and not just participatingPatrick Lencioni as a tone setter: simplifying complex ideas for broader understandingThe role of preparation and experience in earning credibilityKendrick Lamar's "Man at the Garden" as an example of meaningful influence through effortThe four pillars of thought leadership: homework, perspective, communication, convictionThe value of teaching and continuous learning in elevating your influenceActionable challenge: spend 30 minutes reflecting and writing your core idea Timestamps 00:00 - Introduction to the concept of thought leadership 01:43 - What makes someone a true thought leader 02:13 - The importance of perspective over following metrics 03:12 - Patrick Lencioni’s approach to simplifying organizational ideas 03:43 - Making ideas clearer through communication 04:13 - Kendrick Lamar’s "I Deserve It All" and the value of effort 04:42 - How consistent preparation fosters credibility 05:22 - Building a unique perspective through homework and reflection 05:52 - Shaping language to communicate ideas effectively 06:21 - The importance of conviction versus arrogance 06:49 - Why continuous learning makes a great thought leader 07:17 - Defining what you want to be known for beyond titles 07:46 - Cultivating a tone focused on questions, generosity, and authenticity 08:11 - Action challenge: spend 30 minutes on a reflection piece 08:42 - Final thoughts: share ideas consistently to influence over time Connect with Tony LinkedIn

In this episode, Tony explores the critical importance of prioritization in leadership and daily life, emphasizing that time isn't the issue—our focus and communication are. Drawing from Stephen Covey’s principles and lean thinking, this episode offers actionable insights to help you focus on what truly matters. Key Topics: The myth that we don't have enough time and the reality: it's about prioritiesCovey’s Habit 3: Put First Things First, and how it builds on proactive behavior and vision-settingThe importance of distinguishing between urgent and important tasksHow to use tools like the Eisenhower Matrix for better decision-makingThe concept of scheduling priorities instead of prioritizing your scheduleThe power of saying no and removing unnecessary commitmentsThe impact of small, consistent decisions to shift the mean and create lasting resultsWhy busyness doesn’t equate to value creationReflection questions to assess your current priorities and presenceA challenge to eliminate one non-essential task to create space for what matters Timestamps (00:00) – Why time isn't the real issue—it's prioritization(01:01) – The influence of Stephen Covey and Habit 3: Put First Things First(02:07) – Differentiating between urgent and important tasks(02:35) – Lean thinking’s role in eliminating waste and creating flow(03:04) – The importance of intentional goal setting and prioritization(03:35) – The significance of saying yes to what matters most(04:01) – Scheduling your priorities, not reacting to everything(04:28) – Using the Eisenhower matrix for smarter decisions(05:26) – Small changes and saying no to what doesn’t align(06:19) – Shifting focus from busyness to impact(06:49) – Reflection questions: calendar vs. goals and future self’s gratitude(07:17) – Being fully present and intentional in communication(07:44) – The move the mean challenge: do one high-value task first, eliminate one unnecessary task(07:57) – Final reminder: Protect and spend your time intentionally Resources and links: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

Discover the difference between loud and quiet confidence, and learn how consistent actions and mindset shifts can help you build genuine self-assurance. This episode emphasizes that confidence is not innate but cultivated through deliberate choices and behaviors. Main Topics The true nature of confidence: internal and quiet, not loud or showyHow confidence is built over time through action, not waiting for perfect momentsThe importance of showing up authentically and owning your valueThe role of focus: shifting attention from self-doubt to serving and adding valuePractical steps: making promises to yourself and following through to boost confidenceRecognizing tone: how true confidence speaks with clarity and listens Timestamps 00:00 - Introduction: What is quiet confidence and why it matters 00:31 - Confidence isn't innate; it's built over your lifetime 01:00 - The importance of showing up as your authentic self 01:29 - Bailey, the embodiment of action and self-trust 01:58 - Confidence is contagious and demonstrated, not announced 02:29 - Reflection on J Cole's "The Climb Back" and the growth process 02:59 - The climb as the true test of confidence, not the top 03:28 - Action creates confidence, not vice versa 03:58 - The power of doing: each act reinforces your belief in yourself 04:28 - Personal story: confidence grows when focusing on providing value, not feeling confident 04:58 - Overcoming doubts: confidence resides in choosing to move forward despite feeling unsure 05:25 - The shift from evaluation to service builds genuine confidence 05:55 - Practical insight: confidence isn't about elimination of doubt, but action 06:25 - The tone of confidence: listening, clarity, and owning your value 06:37 - The subtle difference between fake and true confidence 07:06 - Challenge: Make one promise to yourself and follow through 07:26 - Deposits into your confidence "bank account" compound over time 07:56 - Confidence is a continuous process, built decision by decision 08:07 - Closing thoughts: keep showing up and building your confidence

Keywords leadership, communication, self-care, energy management, personal development, Adam Grant, tone, mindfulness, effective communication, mental health Summary In this episode of Respect the Tone, the host emphasizes the critical role of self-care in effective leadership and communication. Drawing on insights from Adam Grant, the discussion highlights how personal well-being directly influences communication quality. The host encourages listeners to prioritize their own energy and mental health to enhance their interactions with others. Through personal anecdotes and reflections, the episode explores the importance of recognizing one's own needs and the impact of tone in communication. Takeaways Your communication reflects how you feel.Rest is an investment in well-being.No one else can fill your cup for you.Your voice is an instrument that needs care.Creating conditions for good communication is essential.Busy schedules can drain your energy.Self-care prepares you to meet responsibilities.Your tone conveys your true feelings.Protecting your energy benefits those around you.Choose habits that fill your cup. Sound bites "Resting is not a waste of time." "Your tone always tells the truth." Chapters 00:00 The Importance of Self-Care in Leadership 03:30 Understanding Your Communication Instrument 06:24 Protecting Your Energy for Better Communication 10:19 The Power of Intentional Communication

Summary In this episode, we explore the importance of humility in communication, how to improve continuously, and practical tips to become a more effective speaker and listener. Keywords communication, humility, self-improvement, listening, speaking, personal growth, confidence, feedback, influence, podcast Key Topics The role of humility in effective communicationPracticing communication skills dailyLevels of communication and personal growthThe importance of feedback and humilityPractical tips to improve speaking and listening Takeaways Humility is essential for continuous improvement in communication.Every conversation is an opportunity to move the mean by 1%.Stop protecting your image; focus on skill development.Humility allows you to be open to feedback and growth.Effective communication is about impact, not volume. Titles Humility: The Key to Better CommunicationHow to Improve 1% Every Day in Your Speaking Skills Sound Bites "Communication isn't a talent, it's a skill you develop." "There's always another level to reach." "The louder your ego, the quieter your influence." Chapters 00:00 The Power of Humility in Communication 03:12 Learning from the Tone Setter: Vin Ging 06:03 Kendrick Lamar and the Levels of Communication 09:03 The Importance of Continuous Improvement 11:17 The Challenge of Humility in Conversations 11:40 outro

Join Tony, a professional in continuous improvement, executive coaching, and public speaking, as he explores how to elevate your communication skills and leadership presence. In this inaugural episode, discover practical insights on setting the right tone, embracing cultural influences, and improving every day—short, impactful segments designed for busy lives. Main topics covered: The importance of respecting and setting your own tone when communicatingHow influential hip hop lyrics reveal cultural and leadership lessonsThe "Move the Mean" principle: improving 1% daily for exponential growthRecognizing and becoming a "Tone Setter" in personal and professional contextsReflecting on subtle communication undertones and their impactPractical action steps to enhance your influence starting today Timestamps: 00:00 - Introduction to "Respect the Tone" and host Tony’s background 00:30 - The essence of being a tone setter and why it matters 01:00 - Setting a deliberate communication frequency 01:45 - Segment overview: Tone Setter of the Week — focusing on mindset 02:14 - Exploring the influence of hip hop culture and lyrics 03:11 - Move the Mean: daily 1% improvement concept 03:39 - Coach’s Corner: self-awareness and future-focused reflection 04:07 - Recognizing undertones in subtle communication cues 04:34 - Episode wrap-up and key takeaway: Be a tone setter 05:02 - Reflection on J. Cole’s lyrics: Avoid comparison trap and love your journey 07:15 - Final thoughts: Love your progress, focus inward, and love yours Connect with Tony: LinkedIn

Join Anthony Brunshtein in "Respect the Tone," a podcast that goes beyond typical leadership advice. Discover how tone shapes your environment and outcomes, and learn from Anthony's experience in leadership development. Expect real talk, tangible insights, and stories from dynamic leaders and creatives. Whether you're a CEO or just someone who wants to lead more intentionally, this podcast is for you. Subscribe and share with those who'd appreciate a fresh perspective on leadership.