Advertise on podcast: Return to Heart

What happens when the body you live in becomes something you're ashamed of? In this episode of Return to Heart, Jeff Schulte and Phil Herndon discover that they carried remarkably similar wounds from opposite sides of body shame. Jeff grew up believing he was too skinny. Phil grew up ashamed of being overweight. Different bodies—but underneath, a remarkably similar message: something is wrong with me. Jeff and Phil explore body image, body dysmorphia, toxic shame, comparison, self-objectification, and the complicated relationship we can develop with our physical bodies. They also examine something deeper: what can the way you see your body actually cost you? From opportunities never pursued to overtraining, self-contempt, and years spent comparing yourself to others, distorted beliefs about our bodies can shape far more than what we see in the mirror. How do we care for our bodies without worshiping them? How do we acknowledge what we see without allowing appearance to define who we are? And how do we begin telling the truth about the person inside the body? In this episode: • How childhood body shame can follow us into adulthood • What body dysmorphia actually means • The connection between body image, identity, and toxic shame • How comparison feeds self-contempt • How parents can talk honestly with children about their bodies • Why we can objectify ourselves without realizing it • The opportunities body shame can cost us • Learning to live honestly in the body you've been given Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.org

Work can be meaningful, productive, and deeply fulfilling. But what happens when work becomes the place where you find your identity, escape difficult relationships, or prove that you are worthy of being loved? In this episode of Return to Heart, Jeff Schulte and Phil Herndon explore the emotional roots of workaholism and performance addiction. They discuss how achievement can provide powerful feelings of affirmation, attachment, control, and relief—and why those rewards can make overworking feel almost impossible to surrender. They also examine the difference between healthy, God-given work and using work to avoid the vulnerable relationships where genuine connection, rupture, repair, and intimacy are formed. Work is a gift. But it was never intended to carry the weight of your identity, or replace the people you were created to love. Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.org

What if taking care of yourself isn't selfish—but necessary? In this episode of Return to Heart, Jeff Schulte and Phil Herndon continue their conversation about what it means to be needy humans who are learning to live honestly before God and with one another. They explore the difference between genuine self-care and escape, why our attempts to rest can sometimes become ways of numbing ourselves, and why real replenishment doesn't always feel good in the moment. Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.org

What does Jesus actually mean when He says to us “deny yourself”? For many Christians, that phrase can quietly become something much harsher: My needs don't matter. Wanting to flourish is selfish. Taking care of myself is ungodly. Everyone else should always come first. Jeff Schulte and Phil Herndon unpack what “deny yourself” actually means—and why denying your ego may be very different from denying your humanity. Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.org

Have you ever wondered why certain people stay with you—even long after they're gone? Or why a simple object can instantly bring back powerful memories and emotions? In Part 2 of this conversation, Jeff Schulte and Phil Herndon build on last episode's discussion about sentimental objects by exploring the deeper truth behind them: it's never really about the object—it's about the relationships they represent. Through Scripture, neuroscience, and personal stories, they unpack why God instructed Israel to build memorial stones, how healthy attachment shapes our lives, and why we were created to carry meaningful relationships with us. In this episode: • Why God told Israel to build memorial stones in Joshua 4 • How memories, emotions, and relationships become deeply connected • The neuroscience of "brain synchrony" and why we never truly walk alone • Why keepsakes matter—and when it's healthy to let them go • How attachment helps us flourish in our relationships with God and others Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.org

Why is it so hard to throw certain things away? Sometimes it isn't about the object at all—it's about the relationship it represents. In Episode 25 of Return to Heart, Jeff Schulte and Phil Herndon explore why keepsakes, heirlooms, gifts, and even a weighted vest can carry profound emotional meaning. They unpack the psychology of attachment, grief, memory, and connection while showing how ordinary objects can reveal extraordinary truths about our hearts. In this episode: • Why sentimental objects become emotionally significant • The difference between healthy attachment and unhealthy hoarding • How grief, memory, and relationships shape what we keep • What physical objects reveal about our emotional lives and our relationship with God Timestamps Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.org

Sex addiction is rarely just about sex. In this conversation, Phil and Jeff are joined by Greg Oliver, co-founder of Awaken Recovery, to unpack what addiction really is, why pornography is more powerful than many people realize, and why lasting healing never comes through willpower alone. They explore the neuroscience of addiction, the role of shame, the importance of emotions, why intimacy is so much bigger than sex, and why genuine connection is one of the greatest antidotes to compulsive behavior. Whether you're struggling personally, walking alongside someone who is, or simply trying to understand how healing actually works, this conversation offers both honesty and hope. In this episode:What sex addiction really isWhy pornography rewires the brainThe connection between shame and addictionWhy intimacy is more than sexThe role of community in recoveryWhy confession brings healingHelping the next generation navigate pornographyHow parents can become "transitional characters" who break generational cycles If this conversation resonates with you, don't stay isolated. Healing begins when we stop carrying our struggles alone.

What happens when the person you trust most becomes the source of your deepest pain? In Episode 23 of Return to Heart, Phil sits down with Stacey Oliver of Awaken Recovery to discuss betrayal trauma, recovery after sexual addiction, attachment wounds, codependency, and the long road toward healing. Drawing from her own story, Stacey shares what it felt like to discover hidden betrayal, why so many partners ignore their intuition, and how healing often begins by finding safe people who understand your pain. Whether you're navigating betrayal yourself, supporting someone who is, or trying to understand how trauma impacts relationships, this conversation offers hope, wisdom, and practical insight. In this episode: • Why betrayal by "your person" hurts so deeply • The role of denial and self-protection in relationships • How attachment wounds shape our choices • What betrayal trauma feels like physically and emotionally • Why healing requires community and support • How recovery can create healthier relationships than before Resources: Awaken Recovery https://awakenrecovery.com What We Really Want podcast https://awakenrecovery.com/podcast Roots Retreat: Men’s Recovery Intensives and Women’s Workshops https://awakenrecovery.com/intensives Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.org

Sexual addiction impacts far more than the person struggling—it affects marriages, families, trust, and emotional health. In Episode 22 of Return to Heart, Greg and Stacey Oliver share their deeply personal story of addiction, disclosure, betrayal, recovery, and redemption. Their honest conversation offers practical hope for couples facing difficult realities and reminds listeners that healing is possible, even when life feels shattered. Key Takeaways: • The difference between sex and true intimacy • Why addiction often develops in secrecy and isolation • How betrayed spouses experience trauma and recovery • What faith, community, and honesty can do in the healing process Resources: Awaken Recovery https://awakenrecovery.com What We Really Want podcast https://awakenrecovery.com/podcast Roots Retreat: Men’s Recovery Intensives and Women’s Workshops https://awakenrecovery.com/intensives Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.org

What if the single most important thing you can do for your children isn't a parenting strategy? In this episode of the Return to Heart Podcast, Jeff and Phil explore a powerful truth: the best parenting doesn't start with your children — it starts with your own heart. Key Takeaways: • Why emotional presence matters more than parenting techniques • How unresolved wounds can shape the way we parent • The danger of expecting children to fill our emotional needs • Why healing your own heart is the greatest gift you can give your kids Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.life

Many of us grow up in environments that feel chaotic, unpredictable, or emotionally unsafe. Without realizing it, we create systems, rituals, and coping strategies just to survive. In this episode of the Return to Heart Podcast, Jeff and Phil explore how the human brain is wired for safety, structure, and connection—and how trauma can push us into cycles of chaos, rigidity, and compulsive coping systems. Drawing from psychology, neuroscience, and the story of the woman at the well, they unpack how Jesus meets people inside their chaos and invites them into a life of relational healing and freedom. Key Takeaways: • Why the brain prioritizes safety above everything else • How chaotic childhood environments create survival systems • The difference between healthy structure and rigid control • How Jesus invites us into relational healing rather than rule-based living Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.life

Why is it so difficult to say what we really need? In this episode of the Return to Heart Podcast, Jeff and Phil explore one of the most profound questions Jesus asks in the New Testament: “What do you want me to do for you?” Through the story of Blind Bartimaeus, they unpack how vulnerability, fear, and faith intersect in moments of emotional and relational healing. Many of us struggle to name our needs — even with God, even in our closest relationships. But healing often begins when we risk speaking honestly about what is happening inside our hearts. Key takeaways from this episode: • Why people freeze when asked what they truly need • The emotional courage required for vulnerability • How fear and faith work together in personal growth • Why Jesus asks questions even when He already knows the answer Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.life

Why do we bounce between anxiety and emotional shutdown,? In this episode, Jeff and Phil explore the concept of the “window of tolerance”—the emotional space where we can stay present, relational, and resilient even when life is hard. In this episode you’ll learn: • Why we cycle between anxiety and depression • How resentment, rage, and self-pity can reveal deeper emotions • Why telling your story in relationship is key to emotional healing Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.life

In this episode of the Return to Heart podcast, Jeff and Phil explore the psychological concept of the Window of Tolerance and how trauma, anxiety, and depression can shape our ability to stay emotionally present. Along the way, they reflect on how God designed us as integrated beings - body, mind, and spirit - and why learning to pay attention to our bodies plays a key role in emotional and relational healing. Key Takeaways: • What the “Window of Tolerance” means in emotional health • Why trauma often shows up as anxiety or depression • How our bodies signal safety or threat • Why connection with safe people expands resilience Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.life

In today’s episode, we dive into one of the most important and least-discussed topics in Christian discipleship: sexual integrity - what it means, why it matters, and how men and women can move toward wholeness in an area where many people quietly struggle. Key takeaways: • Why sexual integrity is about wholeness, not perfection • The cultural forces shaping how we think about sexuality • The connection between secrecy, shame, and fragmentation • Why honest conversation is the first step toward healing Tin Man provides coaching, mentoring, consulting, and offers guidance to those who want to recover the life they've lost and discover the life they desire, by learning to live from the heart. Learn More: www.tinman.life