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We have a first for The Kinky Coffee Break - a threeway! I’m joined by not one but TWO special guests for this episode - Dr Matt Kimberley and Dr Anthony Gifford, who are here to chat with me about their research into cumdumps. Now, before you listen, we invite you to note down what you think a c*****p is, and what your assumptions are around power dynamics and motivations. Then, at the end, reflect on where you think those ideas and assumptions originated from and how accurate they were. Matt and Anthony have recently published their study of bi and gay men who identify as cumdumps and they look at this through the lens of pleasure, power, identity. It’s super refreshing and encouraging to see more research, similar to our episode on Pup Play with Dr Liam Wignall, that looks at kink through a positive lens rather as a form of pathology.  Their work focuses on this as a distinct sexual subculture, filling the holes (pun intended!) that are left when collective or group sex is seen as one amorphous thing. We get to learn what it is specifically about cumdumping that appeals to and benefits the bottoms, what it entails, and how they go about organising such an event. It’s a deeply fascinating conversation!  Dr Matt Kimberley (he/they) is a lecturer within the Department of Psychology and Counselling, where he leads the Gender, sexuality and intimate relationships research cluster. His own research broadly centres around sexual communication; fantasy and desire; sexual subcultural identity; and inequalities linked to sexuality or relationship diversity. This began with their PhD research at Staffordshire University which explored how factors specific to an individual’s relationship and fantasy content influenced decisions of whether to disclose a sexual fantasy or not. Dr Anthony Gifford (he/him)  is a psychologist and lecturer with broad interests in sexual health and wellbeing, particularly among marginalised populations. His PhD research examined the psychosocial influences on pre-exposure prophylaxis (PrEP) uptake among men who have sex with men (MSM) in the UK, contributing to a deeper understanding of HIV prevention decision-making. He has also conducted research on HIV anxiety, sexual satisfaction, and diverse identity development. Working in collaboration with partners across the UK and internationally, Anthony is passionate about LGBTQ+ psychology and committed to emancipatory research that promotes equity, inclusion, and social betterment The full article, ‘So, it’s like they’re a human dildo for me … ‘: exploring the experiences and motivations of individuals who identify as a ‘c*****p’ is available online here. You can check out the rest of my kink-related work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.

I invited the wonderful and wise Sian Johnson back to the podcast this month to hear how her views on working with men have changed (and why) in the last couple of years.   Sian and I spoke previously in episode 3: “Men Need Empowerment Too” which remains our most downloaded episode!   This time around, we talk about the patriarchy, performance, the manosphere, and why status won't really make you feel powerful. All on our way to describing why women are often best placed to work with men on empowerment and sexuality. There's a lot of ground covered here so buckle up, grab your brew, and get comfy!    Sian Johnson is a Sexologist, Men’s Sex & Intimacy Coach, educator and unapologetic explorer of pleasure, intimacy, kink, and human connection.   For more than a decade, Sian has worked at the places where sexuality, the body, relationships and personal transformation meet. Her work ranges from supporting men with sexual confidence, shame, erectile and ejaculatory difficulties, late virginity and intimacy, to teaching consent, embodied sexuality, Tantra and conscious kink.   She is a Certified Wheel of Consent® Facilitator, Sexological Bodyworker and the creator of The Sensara Method, her professional training for women practitioners who want to work skilfully, safely, and ethically with men’s sexuality and intimacy.   At the heart of all of Sian’s work is a simple belief: pleasure can be a catalyst for human transformation.   Find Sian online:   🌐 Website: https://sianjohnson.com 🎓 The Sensara Method: https://www.sianjohnson.com/thesensaramethod 🔥 The Advantage – Sex & Intimacy Coaching for Men: https://academy.sianjohnson.com/the-art-of-sexual-and-personal-mastery 📖 Tantric Erotic Massage: https://sianjohnson.com/tantric_massage_book 🎥 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC3cWyHYh5GEm6ziZ3LXSMXQ 📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sian_johnson_pleasure_catalyst/   And you can find the rest of my kink-related work at pleasurerebels.com.

Join me as I indulge my sapiosexual side with a fascinating deep dive into the topic of Objectification.  Dr Susan Lucas helps us to look at Objectification through a philosophical lens and, in doing so, reveals some very interesting insights into why this can be so powerful to play with.  It's a rare delight that I meet someone who has thought so deeply about the way in which our kinks inform our sense of self, and it feels almost radical - yet incredibly important - to do so in today's attention economy.  Dr Susan Lucas was, until recently, Principal Lecturer and Subject Lead for Philosophy at the University of Lancashire. Her 30-year career as an academic philosopher focused particularly on the phenomenon of self-knowledge: what it is, how it is possible, and what the implications of our capacity for self-knowledge are for our relationships with others.   This work found expression in her book (as Peter Lucas), Ethics and Self-Knowledge: Respect for Self-Interpreting Agents (Springer, 2011), as well as in numerous academic articles. Much of her work on the ethics of self-knowledge centred around the phenomenon of sexual objectification, and a 2018 article on the sexual objectification of men, which was picked up by the national press, led to interviews on Radio 4 Women’s Hour and BBC TV.  Susan’s interpretation of objectification is informed by the work of radical feminist theorist Andrea Dworkin and the philosophical writings of  J.W.F. Hegel, Jean-Paul Sartre and Michel Foucault. Nevertheless, she is experienced in presenting her ideas in a non-technical way to non-academic audiences.  In previous published work she stressed the negative aspects of sexual objectification, as a conduit for the embedding of ideological stereotypes, with harmful consequences for individual autonomy. However, she has recently become interested in the potential for positive engagement with objectifying experiences, drawing on her own experience as a transfemale in Queer kink settings. You can check out the rest of my kink-related work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.

This month, I’m joined on The Kinky Coffee Break by Hypno-Domme Imaginatrix to learn all about Erotic Hypnosis.   You’ll learn about how erotic hypnosis can have many different applications and flavours in a scene, how you’re probably already accessing elements of this and the trance states it induces, what a HFO is and why everybody wants one, and some of the things you need to consider if you are going to play with this in an ethical way.    I suggest you give this one a listen. You know you want to!     Imaginatrix - Trix for short - has a passion for Hypnotic Hedonism. Trix works full-time as a hypnotic content creator, Hypno-Domme, and BDSM educator. An eternal switch, her hunger for hypnosis is boundless, whether she's melting minds or being mesmerised.  She is a certified hypnotist trained in Integrative Hypnosis and Sexual Freedom Hypnosis® techniques, and co-organises the only regular Mind Play class in the UK. She makes up half of Mesmerotic, a hypnokink fetish video production company showing real hypnokink scenes, and brings her erotic hypnosis to Patreon and Loyalfans. She loves deep-diving into hypnotic technique and thinks hypnosis is an incredible tool for connection and pleasure.   The main link for Imaginatrix’s stuff is: http://hypnotichedonism.com. You can also get tranced by Trix on Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/hypnohedonista find her at Kinkfest (where she’ll be teaching): https://fetlife.com/KinkFestUK and you can find awesome tees like the one Trix is wearing here at: https://hypnotic-hedonist.teemill.com/. You’ll have to do your own research to find the Hypnosis vs. F-machine clip we referenced… (sorry!)!    You can check out the rest of my kink-related work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.

We welcome Bear Phillips back to The Kinky Coffee Break for this episode on Big/little dynamics.    We cover quite some ground here, starting with what these dynamics are about and some of the common misconceptions around them. We discuss the benefits of age play for both the little and the Big, and what’s needed to support this kind of play in terms of skills, boundaries, and integration. I am very interested in this topic, so it was a delight to get into it with Bear.    Bear Phillips (he/ him) is a poly-sexual, polyamorous, and kinky-slut by night, and a trauma-informed bodyworker and a sex & love coach by day. In his coaching with men, he works with questions of masculinity and how patriarchy impacts our ability to have meaningful and authentic relationships. Bear has been involved in various forms of therapy and personal development for more than half his life, having recently completed the *Compassionate Inquiry Professional Training* with Gabor Maté.  Edited by Bear Phillips & Ellie Rose, “DADDY!” The Healing Power of Big/little Play: An Anthology. On the transformative potential of inner-child work, role-play and conscious kink, is now available for Kindle here: https://amzn.eu/d/02OpxxJ4 or as a paperback here: https://amzn.eu/d/03SrCFwN. Enjoy! You can find Bear at www.bearphillips.co.uk or substack: @bearphillips1 / bearphillips1.substack.com/. He’s also on IG: @bear_phillips / instagram.com/bear_phillips/ and FB: facebook.com/bearphillipsUK.  You can check out the rest of my work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.

I was definitely scratching an itch of my own curiosity this month when I invited DK Green to chat with me about the Leather Community!    DK gives us a peek into life as part of a leather family, including the dynamics and values that it's built around. From the subculture’s roots in gay community, we will hear what's changed and what's drawing a diverse range of people to leather today.    Pop the kettle on and buckle up for a lively and enticing conversation! DK Green (AKA DK Leather) has been the head of the UK KRuel Leather Family since the nineties, the first non-gay-male leather family in the UK. He’s a Master, Owner, Daddy, Leather dominant, and a respected and well known (notorious) speaker and educator in this field. He’s also a polyamorous, shamanic, trans man! Additionally he’s a respected/experienced Psychotherapist, supervisor, speaker, educator, author. Psychodynamic core integrative, holistic, national/international via Zoom. Serving GSRD communities (gender, sex, relationship diversities) aka LGBTQIA+, CNM (consensual non-monogamy), kink (BDSM/leather), tantra, sex work, & the intersectionalities of neurodiversity, disability/chronic illness, race & culture. Links: http://linktr.ee/dkleather Email: [email protected] You can check out the rest of my work at https://www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels. For info on upcoming courses, workshops, and events, go to https://www.pleasurerebels.com/events

This month, I’m joined on the podcast by the sexy polymath that is Alison Pilling to talk about the long journey of erotic discovery.    Ali shares what’s been helpful, what got in the way, and what advice she would go back and give to her younger self.    This was such an affirming conversation that is full of helpful insights for those of you who are seeking to discover more about yourself through exploring sexuality, just as much as those of you who are already years into your journey!    Alison Pilling is the creator and host of The Sex Lectures, as well as a mentor and teacher on the UK Sexological Bodywork training. She lives in Corfu where she’s transforming a former yoga bnb into something much less wholesome.    Growing up in a repressed Catholic household has had a lot to answer for and Ali is as surprised as anyone to find herself in this groundbreaking field. The good news from the other side of an erotic exploration is that reclaiming and expanding sexual expression is possible. However tricky, heartbreaking or exciting, it’s ultimately an expansion of the self and soul.    Ali may speak for many of us in feeling like we sense there's more out there, but we aren’t sure what. Discovering erotic and personal freedom allows us to begin to know more of who we are, what we want and how to ask for it. How do we get to define, feel and express what we want for ourselves? Exploring the answers to these questions, taking a chance gives us a chance of building a life full of connection, courage and choice.   Check out Ali’s work at: https://sexschoolforgrownups.com/ or find her on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/alison.pilling.5. The next Sex Lectures will be taking place on Monday 16th February in Manchester, UK and you can find details and tickets here: https://buytickets.at/sexschoolforgrownups/2009456 (I’m on the lineup to give a talk about The Privilege of Love!)  You can check out the rest of my work at https://www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels. For info on the upcoming courses, Getting into Ethical Kink, and POWER & PRESENCE, go to https://www.pleasurerebels.com/events

This month, we have our first returning guest on the podcast - Christian Red - to talk about the most common issues in bondage.    Shibari has exploded in popularity in recent years. And, whilst it’s great to see so many people exploring this as an art, form of intimacy, and technical challenge, it comes with some pretty significant risks that may not be obvious at first.    In true Christian style, this discussion - and the guide he has recently published on the topic - break the risks down in a way that is easy for even the most inexperienced kinkster to grasp. It’s a must-listen for anyone interested in bondage.    Christian is a rope/takedown teacher based in Nottingham who has been teaching since 2012. His focus as an educator is giving people tools and ideas to express themselves by breaking complex topics into simple ideas. Christian Red's involvement in the kink community has lasted 20 years so far. In recent years, he has taught at Prague Shibari, Athens Rope, Anatomie Studios, Rope On!, Rope Office Hours, String Fling, UKREX, and Oxford Peer Rope. He's also a regular guest teacher at The Kinky Classroom and will be running an Intro to Shibari ONLINE course starting 27th January 2026, which you can find at https://www.tickettailor.com/events/pleasurerebels/1987006 or check out all upcoming events, courses, and workshops at https://www.pleasurerebels.com/events    The free rope safety digital publication Knot Without Risk, which we reference throughout this episode is available in multiple languages: https://www.christian-red.co.uk/knotwithoutrisk    In addition to this, Christian has also released over 100 rope video tutorials and has been a frequent contributor to the online platform Shibari Study. Check out the Bondage Tuition channel on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@bondagetuition   Christian Red’s first appearance on The Kinky Coffee Break podcast was Episode 7, in which we talk about censorship in our industry and the impact this has not only on educators and practitioners, but also on YOU!    If you can, make sure you support Christian to keep producing quality educational content via his Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/BondageTuition    You can check out the rest of my work at https://www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.

This month, we are joined by the pioneer that is Dr Betty Martin as we explore The Wheel of Consent. Betty shares how The Wheel originated in kink, how it’s both simple and very much not simple in practice, how it can give us insights into what’s happening in relationships, and the impact other forms of power have on how we negotiate. AND we both share how The Wheel can be a helpful way in to exploring D/s and power play. If your understanding of consent is as permission seeking and granting, then hopefully this episode will open your eyes to some of the depth and nuance that is often overlooked in the conversation. Dr. Betty Martin has had her hands on people professionally for over 40 years (some of it legal and some of it questionable) - 30 years of Chiropractic and other modalities, then later, 15 years of Somatic Sex Education and Surrogate Partner Therapy. Also Contact Improv and other kinds of play. She is the developer of the Wheel of Consent, a cutting edge model of receiving and giving, based on touch but amenable to non-touch practices as well. She is the author of The Art of Receiving and Giving: The Wheel of Consent, and developed a 5-day training in the Wheel of Consent for practitioners, which took her around the world, and then trained others to teach it so she could retire. She currently mentors helping professionals, from psychotherapists to sex workers, and all stripes of hands-on practitioners. You can find Betty’s work (including plenty of FREE materials and her book) here: https://www.wheelofconsent.org/. For information on trainings related to the Wheel of Consent, visit the School of Consent: https://www.schoolofconsent.org/ You can check out the rest of my work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.

Join me and my special guest, Dr Liam Wignall, as we take a deep dive into the kinky subculture that is Pup Play.    You’ll learn what it enTAILS(!), who typically engages in this type of play, and some of the many benefits people say they get from immersing themselves in this world. We also touch upon academic research on kink more broadly, neurodivergence and kink, and lots more. This conversation definitely got my geeky brain going!   Dr Liam Wignall is a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Brighton. His research focuses on sexual identity, behaviours, and communities, with a primary focus on kinky sexual practices and subcultures - he has written about this in his book, Kinky in the Digital Age. He’s published over 30 academic articles on a range of topics related to sex and sexuality.   Liam’s book Kinky in the Digital Age can be found here. Use discount code ASPROMP8 to get 30% off (and, fellow geeks, this MAY work on other books on the Oxford University Press site, although we can’t guarantee this!)     You can find Liam’s research profile as well as links to his academic papers here: https://research.brighton.ac.uk/en/persons/liam-wignall/    Liam recommended that listeners/watchers read Gayle S. Rubin’s The Catacombs as a book that inspired him. You can find information on that here: https://read.dukeupress.edu/books/book/1560/chapter-abstract/173959/The-CatacombsA-Temple-of-the-Butthole?redirectedFrom=fulltext, and he also mentioned a resource for people interested in finding out more about Pup Play: https://www.pupplay.info/   You can check out the rest of my work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels. And, finally, why not take the Kink Orientation Scale quiz for yourself: https://thekinkscale.com/ (I got 74 out of 90, in case you’re interested!)

We are back with Series 2 of The Kinky Coffee Break and this month we are joined by special guest Daniel Morrison for a suuuuuper interesting conversation about queering sex!    We covered some realy juicy topics in our chat from energy g******s to multiplicity, and how we can access polarity beyond the binary genders. Whether you identify as queer or not, there’s a lot of food for thought in this episode.    Daniel is a psychotherapist, writer, and parent. He offers EMDR trauma therapy as well as talking therapy and specialises in working with gender, sexuality and relationship diversity. He's passionate about creating spaces to facilitate connection for the Queer community, exploring movement, intimacy, consent and boundaries, and has run workshops around sacred sexuality, conscious kink and pagan sex magic. Daniel is also a Clinical Associate of Pink Therapy, and his writing has appeared in Non Binary Lives, Queering Gestalt Therapy and the forthcoming Pink Therapy book. His own poetry book, Effing the Ineffable, is available on Amazon: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Effing-Ineffable-Daniel-Morrison/dp/B0F4XH914K You can find Daniel’s work at Q Changes: https://www.qchanges.co.uk/. We also referenced two other resources during our conversation, both of which I highly recommend checking out. You

This month, I’m joined on The Kinky Coffee Break by the fabulous Mark Cusack, author of the recently published book: Fluid: A Guide for People with Flexible Sexuality. Fluidity feels like such a core part of my own identity and personal journey but it’s a topic that’s rarely spoken about or visible, even within LGBTQ+ communities, so I was delighted to bring Mark on to the podcast to shed some light on this! Tune in to hear how fluid sexuality is way more prevalent than you might think (and not just in humans!), how it’s not just another trend or phase, and why it’s a controversial topic within the LGBTQ+ community. As well as being an author, Mark (he/they) is also a lecturer, content creator and coach who specialises in supporting people with complex, fluid or undefined orientation and gender. Mark runs the support site @notdefining where he posts educational content about the diversity of the sexuality and gender spectrums, as well as experiences from his own life as a bi+/asexual fluid person. Mark lives in Liverpool where he delivers talks, teaches trainee psychotherapists and writes articles on LGBTQ+ issues. He was formerly LGBTQ+ representative for the UK Civil Service. His home town is Kilmarnock in Scotland and he is a proud member of the autistic community. If you’d like to learn more about this topic, check out Mark’s website: www.notdefining.com, find him across social media @notdefining including the wonderful YouTube channel, and order a copy of the book via the publishers: https://uk.jkp.com/products/fluid. You’ll find my work including upcoming events, courses, and workshops at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels. And if you have a question that you’d like us to address in a follow-up, please drop me an email at [email protected]. We’d love to hear from you!

This month, I’m joined on The Kinky Coffee Break by “the Nigella of parenting’, Roma Norriss!   I learnt why it’s essential that parents DON’T shut down their sexuality, in a permissive, perspective-shifting conversation that highlights the ways in which over-serving parenting isn’t actually making us the best parents for our kids.    We covered a lot of ground in this conversation - from the surprising overlaps between parenting and kink, to how we can handle some of the practical issues if you exploring kink and sexuality in a house that you share with children. I’m massively inspired by this conversation with Roma!    Roma Norriss (she/her) turns around scratch-your-eyes-out-hard family situations where nothing else has worked. She can be sighted in a naughty red dress but in actuality spends most of her time coaching internationally from her bed in pyjamas with her hair standing on end. Roma has been working with parents (as a Birthworker, NCT Breastfeeding Counsellor and Hand in Hand Parenting Instructor) since 2006 and is a warm, overconfident, prolific, playful, pattern interrupter who somehow has the answers to your life.    Based in Somerset, she sponges up any opportunity for intimacy and is an all-round bothersome wrestle-maniac. Lifelong foodie, she loves feeding people and when the chips are down is prone to escaping to the tropics for a God plug-in. What she doesn’t want you to know is that she actually finds children quite tedious and has been forced to master parenting only for the sake of making her own children significantly LESS so. Known for her warm, human, and forgiving approach, Roma is also deeply invested in exploring how intimacy, connection, and kink can coexist with the demands of parenting and is constantly navigating the complexities of exploring her own sexuality as a parent. She regularly appears on TV, Radio, webinars, conferences, panels and podcasts, including Newsweek, and Juno Magazine.   If you’d like to find out more about Roma and the amazing work she does, check out her website: www.romanorriss.com or head straight to the resources page: https://www.romanorriss.com/resources   And if you have a question that you’d like us to address in a follow-up, please drop me an email at [email protected]. We’d love to hear from you!

This month, I’m joined on The Kinky Coffee Break by Writer, Creative Life Coach, Performer, Book Doula, Trauma-Informed Educator & Artist, and Founder of The Creative Genius, the marvellous Heidi Hinda Chadwick.    We explored some of the overlaps between the worlds of kink and creativity - from the way in which they both tap into our sensual innocence, to the impact of shame can have on the way we feel we can express ourselves.    I found Heidi Hinda’s perspective really refreshing, the way in which she invites us to not only know and accept ourselves but to celebrate!    Heidi Hinda Chadwick (she/her) is deeply passionate about Eros, Creativity, Sexuality, Kink, the Nervous System & Creative Living, Mental Health, Midwifing your Midlife, Tarot, Horror Movies, and Macabre and Folky Feminist Bad Ass Literature! She’s all about how to live a Juicy, Wild and Full-filled life, whilst allowing ourselves to be Vividly and Wildly Messy & Imperfect. Heidi Hinda has been writing for over 20 years, about Life, Love, Sex, Relationships, Soul, Creativity, Culture, & why Art is the Revolution! and has been published in various online and paper publications. She is also a Nomadic Tarot Reader & avid Cross-Stitcher! Join Writing The Revolution ~ https://writingtherevolution.substack.com/ Spell-Crafting ~ https://heidihinda.substack.com/ IG ~ https://www.instagram.com/heidihinda/ Website ~ https://www.heidihindachadwick.com/   If you’re interested in the POWER & PRESENCE course that I offer, the 2025 edition will run from April to July and you can find the details of this plus all other upcoming events, courses, and workshops at pleasurerebels.com/events. Check out the rest of my work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.

This month, I’m joined by (Feminist) Love Coach, Bear Phillips to talk about What Makes a Great Lover. We covered a lot of ground here - from the way in which men are socialised to disconnect from important parts of themselves, to the way that we can inadvertently create disconnection in our relationships when we avoid being vulnerable. And YES - we do get to hear Bear’s secret to being a great lover! I really appreciated the way that Bear presented his ideas and critique of popular ideas in such a warm and grounded way, calling us back into discovery and curiosity once again. Bear Phillips (he/ him) is a poly-sexual, polyamorous, and kinky-slut by night, and a trauma-informed bodyworker and a sex & love coach by day. In his coaching with men, he works with questions of masculinity and how patriarchy impacts our ability to have meaningful and authentic relationships. Bear has been involved in various forms of therapy and personal development for more than half his life, having recently completed the *Compassionate Inquiry Professional Training* with Gabor Maté. His first book; Feminism Will Make a Man Out of You! is due for release soon. You can find Bear at www.bearphillips.co.uk or substack: @bearphillips1 / bearphillips1.substack.com/. He’s also on IG: @bear_phillips and FB: facebook.com/bearphillipsUK. We referenced one of Bear’s recent articles during this conversation, and you can find that here. If you’re interested in my upcoming Getting into Ethical Kink course, you can find all of the details here or find the full list of upcoming events, courses, and workshops at pleasurerebels.com/events. Check out the rest of my work at www.pleasurerebels.com and https://linktr.ee/pleasurerebels.