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In this episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, MaryAnn Michaelis LCSW, CSAT, CPTT, welcomes back Dr. Kevin Skinner to continue Season Two’s series on rebuilding trust. Together they explore why rebuilding trust after betrayal is so complex, especially through the lens of attachment and trauma, based on Sue Johnson's core attachment question: “Are you there for me?” They explain how trust begins early in life, how it’s shaped by our experiences, and how betrayal trauma can mirror early attachment ruptures—often leading to protest, emotional overwhelm, shutdown, or feeling frozen while waiting for clarity or disclosure. MaryAnn and Dr. Skinner normalize grief, numbness, and uncertainty as natural trauma responses, not signs of failure or weakness. This episode gently reframes healing: trust doesn’t begin with forcing yourself to trust a partner again. It begins with self-trust, learning to listen to your body and emotions, finding safe support, and allowing honesty about where you truly are. Trust, when it returns, is earned through presence, consistency, and repair—not pressure. If you’re unsure whether you can trust again—or even trust yourself—this conversation offers compassion, clarity, and hope. Episode Takeaways Trust after betrayal is a process, not a decision Betrayal trauma activates deep attachment wounds Feeling frozen, numb, or unsure is a normal trauma response Self-trust is foundational to healing and boundaries Earned trust grows through consistent repair and safety Resources The Still Face Experiment – Dr. Edward Tronick A visual illustration of attachment rupture and repair https://iceeft.com The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk, MD Human Intimacy Conference | March 13–14 Online conference featuring Dr. Skinner, MaryAnn Michaelis, Michelle Mays, Dr. Sheri Keffer, Dr. Karen Strange, Kris Cristiano, and more  

Rebuilding Self-Trust After Betrayal: Empowerment, Group Healing, and Learning to Trust Yourself Again Host: MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT Guest: Jennifer Johnson, CMHC, CSAT, CPTT Episode Summary Rebuilding trust after sexual betrayal begins not with your partner—but with yourself. In this deeply meaningful episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, host MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT, sits down with her longtime mentor, colleague, and friend Jennifer Johnson, CMHC, CSAT, CPTT, for a powerful conversation on self-trust, group healing, and empowerment after betrayal trauma. Jennifer—who has worked with betrayed partners for over 15 years—shares clinical wisdom, lived experience, and practical metaphors that have shaped an entire generation of betrayal trauma therapists, including MaryAnn herself. Together, they explore how betrayal erodes a person’s sense of reality, safety, and self-confidence—and how trust can be rebuilt through validation, embodiment, boundaries, and resourcing. This episode is especially for listeners who feel confused, disconnected from their bodies, unsure of their reality, or afraid of their own reactions. Through stories, metaphors, and trauma-informed insight, MaryAnn and Jennifer offer a grounded path forward—one rooted in compassion, strength, and self-reliance.   Key Topics Discussed Why sexual betrayal shatters self-trust and internal safety The power of group work and the healing impact of “me too” Why comparing betrayal stories minimizes pain—and why pain is pain The “drowning in 5 feet vs. 20 feet of water” metaphor How gaslighting and shame erode self-trust Learning to trust your body after trauma responses and triggers Why self-trust is independent of a partner’s recovery The “Water Your Own Tree” analogy: differentiation and empowerment Resourcing yourself for safety and stability Trauma as powerlessness—and why action restores agency The stages of healing: victim → survival → thriving The “getting hit by a bus” metaphor for trauma, recovery, and relearning trust Why healing does not mean abandoning the relationship The role of therapy, groups, books, and community in rebuilding trust Key Takeaways Betrayal trauma disrupts your sense of reality—but you are not crazy Self-trust is rebuilt through validation, embodiment, and action Group healing reduces isolation and restores internal safety You can strengthen yourself without moving away from your partner Empowerment comes from recognizing your resources and choices Healing is a process—and different stages require different care Trusting yourself means learning what your body, emotions, and intuition need now Metaphors & Frameworks Shared Water Your Own Tree: Strengthening yourself without abandoning the relationship Drowning Is Drowning: Pain does not need to be compared to be valid  Preparing resources for safety and self-reliance Getting Hit by a Bus: Trauma recovery as stabilization, rehabilitation, and relearning trust Victim → Survival → Thriving: Normal stages of betrayal trauma healing Books Recommended in This Episode Intimate Deception – Sheri Keffer, PhD The Betrayal Bind – Michelle Mays, LPC Ambushed by Betrayal Workbook About the Guest Jennifer Johnson, CMHC, CSAT and CPTT, is a Clinical Mental Health Counselor based in Farmington, Utah, specializing in betrayal trauma recovery for over 15 years. She is a mentor to clinicians, a trusted guide to betrayed partners, and a passionate advocate for trauma-informed, empowerment-based healing. Jennifer also brings lived experience as a betrayed partner, offering deep empathy and credibility to her work. About the Host MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and Certified Partner Trauma Therapist. She is the founder of HART Recovery Institute (Healing Addiction, Relationships, Trauma) and the host of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal. MaryAnn is also a recovering betrayed partner and a dedicated voice for compassionate, trauma-informed care. Additional Support If you are in the early days of betrayal or seeking structured guidance, explore: Season 1 of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal (Stabilization) Therapist-led groups and the online course Rise: Hope and Healing After Betrayal Resources available at humanintimacy.com **You are not alone. Your pain is valid. And learning to trust yourself again is possible.

Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal: BRAVING, A Journey of Hope for Betrayed Partners with Dr. Karen Strange Host: MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT Guest: Dr. Karen Strange, PhD, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT Episode Summary Healing from sexual betrayal is not something anyone is meant to navigate alone. In this Season 2 episode of Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal, host MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT, is joined by colleague and friend Dr. Karen Strange, PhD, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT, for a deeply compassionate conversation about stabilizing after betrayal and rebuilding trust—first with yourself, and then, if appropriate, with a partner. Together, MaryAnn and Karen explore betrayal through both clinical insight and lived experience, addressing the profound shock, grief, and disorientation betrayed partners often face. Using Brené Brown’s BRAVING framework, they break down trust into understandable, actionable components while emphasizing that trust is rebuilt through behavior over time, not promises or pressure. This episode also introduces the powerful Kintsugi bowl metaphor—the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery with gold—as a symbol of post-betrayal healing, growth, and meaning-making after profound rupture. If you are early in betrayal trauma recovery, struggling with self-doubt, or feeling pressured to “move on” before you feel safe, this conversation offers grounding, validation, and hope. Key Topics Discussed Why betrayal trauma often mirrors PTSD Stabilization as the first priority after sexual betrayal The Kintsugi bowl as a metaphor for healing after being “shattered” Why trust is cognitive, not emotional Brené Brown’s BRAVING framework applied to betrayal recovery: Boundaries Reliability Accountability Vault (confidentiality and discernment) Integrity Non-judgment Generosity Trusting behavior over words Gaslighting, self-doubt, and learning to trust your body again The role of accountability, support groups, therapy, and sponsors Why over-disclosure can retraumatize betrayed partners Rebuilding trust with yourself through self-compassion Key Takeaways Healing takes time—and time is your ally, not your enemy Trust is rebuilt through consistent, observable behavior, not urgency You are allowed to share your story; your partner owns theirs Self-compassion is foundational to stabilization and recovery Listening to your body is a powerful form of wisdom You can actively engage in healing while you wait for clarity Exercises Shared in This Episode 1. The BRAVING Self-Trust Exercise Write down B-R-A-V-I-N-G and reflect on what you need in each area to rebuild trust with yourself. 2. Daily Self-Compassion Practice Visit self-compassion.org (Kristin Neff, PhD) and choose a brief daily practice to support stabilization, reduce shame, and restore internal safety. Resources Mentioned Brené Brown – BRAVING: Trust Framework Kristin Neff, PhD – Self-Compassion Practices Therapist-led courses and groups for betrayed partners: humanintimacy.com About the Guest Dr. Karen Strange, PhD, LMFT, CSAT, CPTT, is a licensed marriage and family therapist practicing in South Carolina. She brings both professional expertise and lived experience as a betrayed partner, offering deep empathy, wisdom, and hope to individuals and couples healing after betrayal. About the Host MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT is a Licensed Clinical Social Worker, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, and Certified Partner Trauma Therapist. She is the founder of HART Recovery Institute (Healing Addiction, Relationships, Trauma) and the host of Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal. MaryAnn is also a recovering betrayed partner and a passionate advocate for trauma-informed, compassionate healing. If This Episode Helped You Please consider sharing, liking, or subscribing. You may help someone else feel less alone and more understood. You deserve healing. You deserve wholeness. And you don’t have to do this alone.

Episode Summary Welcome to Season Two of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal. In this opening episode, host MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW, CSAT, CPTT is joined by Kris Cristiano, LCSW, CSAT, to explore one of the most painful and misunderstood aspects of betrayal trauma: trust. After Season One’s focus on immediate survival following discovery, Season Two shifts toward rebuilding—emotionally, relationally, and internally. MaryAnn and Kris unpack why trust cannot be rushed, demanded, or restored through checklists alone, and why safety and honesty must come first. Together, they deconstruct common misconceptions about trust, love, and forgiveness, explore the impact of complex and cumulative trauma, and introduce tangible markers of real recovery—what betrayed partners can actually look for over time without abandoning themselves. The conversation also highlights the critical importance of self-trust, nervous system awareness, and relational healing within safe communities. This episode offers grounding, clarity, and hope for anyone navigating betrayal trauma and wondering: How do I know what’s real now—and can I ever trust again? Show Notes In This Episode, You’ll Learn: Why trust, love, and forgiveness are not the same thing—and why confusing them causes harm How betrayal trauma and complex trauma amplify the loss of trust The Marble Jar metaphor and why trust must be rebuilt one action at a time Why sobriety, compliance, and “checking boxes” are not the same as true recovery The role of honesty and safety as the foundation for rebuilding trust How betrayed partners can begin rebuilding self-trust, even after betrayal blindness Why healing from betrayal trauma is relational and cannot be done alone How shame and self-blame interfere with recovery—and why they don’t belong there Key Takeaways: Trust is a gradual process that requires honesty and safety as foundational elements. Healing from betrayal involves understanding and dismantling complex trauma. Recovery is not a checklist but a heartfelt journey of personal growth. Building self-trust is crucial Neuroception and listening to your own body and instincts. A supportive community is vital for healing and offers essential insights and guidance. A Gentle Invitation: After listening, take a moment to write down one small thing you will do for yourself today or tomorrow—something realistic and achievable. Rebuilding trust begins by doing what you say you’ll do, even with yourself. Resources Mentioned: Blind to Betrayal by Jennifer Freyd The Intimacy Pyramid by Dan Drake and the Rapson-Smith model 25 Signs of REAL Recovery by Kris Cristiano Learn More & Continue Your Healing: Rise: Hope and Healing From Sexual Betrayal courses and resources: humanintimacy.com Human Intimacy Conference – March 13–14 Join us for insightful presentations, featuring leading experts in betrayal trauma recovery, including Kris Cristiano. Use PROMO Code: 40OFF 00:00 Introduction to Healing from Sexual Betrayal 01:11 Welcome to Season Two 01:44 Meet Chris Christiano 03:19 Understanding Trust After Betrayal 06:38 The Marble Jar Analogy 09:21 Complex Trauma and Self-Trust 22:08 Betrayal Blindness 30:14 Rebuilding Trust and Final Thoughts   Connect With Us: Visit our website: humanintimacy.com Instagram: @HumanIntimacy Don't forget to like, share, and subscribe for more insights on healing and recovery. Your support helps others find the path to healing and understanding.

Rise, Hope, and Healing After Sexual Betrayal: Closing Season One & Looking Toward Growth   Summary In the final episode of Season One of Rise, Hope, and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and licensed clinical social worker MaryAnn Michaelis reflect on the emotional journey of betrayal trauma and the foundational work required for healing. They validate the profound shock, grief, and disorientation that follow sexual betrayal, emphasizing that these reactions are normal responses to trauma—not personal failures. Throughout the conversation, they review core concepts introduced in the season, including emotional regulation, triggers, PTSD symptoms, somatic responses, polyvagal theory, boundaries, self-care, and identity repair. Healing is framed not as a linear or finished state, but as a “both/and” process—one where growth and difficult days can coexist. Using metaphors such as home remodeling, forest fires, peeling an onion, and run-walk marathons, they illustrate how healing unfolds slowly, layer by layer. They highlight post-traumatic growth, noting that while no one chooses betrayal, many survivors develop deeper self-awareness, stronger boundaries, renewed creativity, and a reclaimed sense of self-worth. The episode also looks ahead to Season Two, which will focus on the second stage of healing—internal work, rebuilding trust (especially trust in self), and deeper application of tools learned in Season One. The hosts emphasize the importance of community, trauma-informed practices, and self-compassion, ending with a message of hope: healing is possible, identity can be restored, and no one has to walk this journey alone.   Resources Mentioned or Referenced Programs & Educational Resources Rise, Hope, and Healing After Sexual Betrayal (Course) A structured healing course focused on assessments, internal work, parts work, boundaries, trust, and trauma recovery. Available via HumanIntimacy.com Rise, Hope, and Healing Podcast Focused specifically on betrayed partners and the stages of betrayal trauma recovery. Human Intimacy Podcast Broader conversations on intimacy, healing, and recovery. Therapeutic Approaches & Concepts Betrayal Trauma & PTSD Post-Traumatic Growth Polyvagal Theory Somatic (Body-Based) Healing Emotional Regulation Boundary Setting Self-Compassion Trust (Self-Trust & Relational Trust) Group Support & Community Healing Trauma-Informed Yoga Mindfulness Practices Professional Credentials Referenced CSAT – Certified Sex Addiction Therapist CPTT – Certified Partner Trauma Therapist Clinicians Featured or Upcoming (Season Two) Dr. Kevin Skinner MaryAnn Michaelis, LCSW Dr. Karen Strange Chris Christiano Jennifer Johnson Books & Metaphors Referenced Beauty for Ashes (Biblical concept/book title referenced for meaning-making and growth after loss) Resilience research by Dr. Al Siebert (resilient mindset and “both/and” healing framework)

When Self-Betrayal Hurts Most: Relearning to Trust Your Inner Voice After Sexual Betrayal Episode Summary In this powerful episode of Rise: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most painful and complex layers of betrayal—self-betrayal. While a partner’s betrayal is deeply damaging, many betrayed partners describe an even more devastating wound: the moment they realize they stopped trusting themselves. We discuss the internal collapse that occurs when you silence your instincts, override your intuition, and ignore what your body and emotions tried to tell you. This creates deep internal chaos, confusion, and shame—because when you can’t trust yourself, where do you turn? This conversation also explores the importance of reconnecting with your values, intuition, emotional truth, and a personal Bill of Rights. We talk about why so many partners abandon themselves in the name of survival, loyalty, fear, or hope—and most importantly, how to gently rebuild self-trust, re-align with your inner wisdom, and begin living congruently again as you move into stabilization and deeper recovery. Resources Mentioned / Recommended Book: Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal — Dr. Kevin Skinner Concept Guide: Creating a Personal Bill of Rights After Betrayal Examples may include: “I have the right to trust my intuition.” “I have the right to emotional and physical safety.” “I have the right to ask questions and receive truthful answers.” Support & Education Rise Podcast & Healing Resources at HumanIntimacy.com Human Intimacy 100-Day Healing Programs & Courses Helpful Therapeutic Approaches Trauma-informed therapy / CSAT or CPTT clinicians Somatic and body-based healing approaches Boundary and values clarification work You’re Invited — Human Intimacy Conference If you’re looking for deeper healing, education, community, and hope, we invite you to join us at the upcoming Human Intimacy Conference. This powerful event brings together leading experts in betrayal trauma, recovery, and relationship healing—offering tools, insight, and connection to support your journey. 👉 Register here: https://humanintimacy.zohobackstage.com/HumanIntimacy2ndAnnualConference#/  

Rise: Finding Your Voice After Sexual Betrayal — Expression, Healing, and Being Witnessed Episode Summary In this episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore what it truly means to “find your voice” after betrayal. Many betrayed partners struggle to express overwhelming emotions such as anger, grief, confusion, and fear—often because they’ve never had permission, language, or safe places to speak their truth. Others feel they do have a voice, but need support in finding the right words and safe settings to tell their story. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn discuss why expressing your story matters both emotionally and physically, highlighting research showing that suppressed emotions can increase depression and weaken the immune system. They talk about grief, trauma integration, and the importance of consolidating your narrative—what life felt like before betrayal, what changed after discovery, and how the experience is shaping your life now. Listeners will learn about healthy ways to express deep emotions (journaling, burn journals, therapy, group support, safe body-release strategies), the importance of being witnessed, and how finding your internal voice strengthens boundaries, empowerment, and healing. This conversation reminds every betrayed partner that your emotions matter, your story deserves space, and giving voice to your experience is a vital step toward recovery. Resources & Mentions RISE: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal Online Course Guided exercises, assessments, journaling prompts, education, and structured healing tools to support your journey. https://www.humanintimacy.com Research on Expressive Writing & Emotional Health James W. Pennebaker – Opening Up: The Healing Power of Expressing Emotions Demonstrates the mental and physical health benefits of expressing emotions and telling your story. Healing Requires Witnessing & Storytelling Desmond Tutu & Mpho Tutu – The Book of Forgiving Discusses the importance of sharing your story, being witnessed, and honoring emotional wounds. Trauma & Meaning-Making Framework Discussion of narrative processing and trauma consolidation – understanding life before betrayal, the traumatic event itself, and how it changes you going forward. Support Through Connection Research highlighted by Wendy Watson Nelson & Dr. Jill Manning emphasizing connection and safe support as a critical factor in betrayal recovery. Therapy & Group Support Consider working with a betrayal-informed therapist or joining a betrayal trauma support group to process your experience safely.

Boundaries: The Foundation of Healing After Sexual Betrayal Episode Summary In this episode of Rise: Hope & Healing from Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore why boundaries are essential—not optional—for healing. They clarify common misunderstandings about boundaries, emphasizing that boundaries are not punishments, ultimatums, or attempts to control another person. Instead, they are acts of self-care rooted in values, safety, and personal responsibility. Drawing from clinical experience, real-life examples, and research-based frameworks, the conversation breaks down how boundaries function as “if–then” statements focused on how you will respond to protect yourself. The episode highlights the difference between healthy boundaries and rule-setting, the role of self-trust and follow-through, and why understanding your why is the key to confidence and consistency. Listeners will learn how boundaries support emotional safety, reduce resentment, and strengthen the inner core—especially after betrayal has shattered trust. The episode also addresses the fear that boundaries will damage relationships and reframes boundaries as a pathway to clarity, dignity, and, when possible, deeper connection. Key Takeaways Healing rarely occurs without clear, self-honoring boundaries Boundaries are about your response, not controlling someone else Effective boundaries are rooted in values, needs, and self-awareness Boundaries support safety, self-trust, and differentiation Letting go of outcomes is essential when setting boundaries Practicing boundaries builds confidence and reduces resentment Resources Mentioned Boundaries Course – Creating & Maintaining Healthy Boundaries Available at Boundary Basics Rise online Course: HumanIntimacy.com Vicki Tidwell Palmer, Boundaries Handbook for Women Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend, Boundaries Differentiation of Self (Bowen Family Systems Theory) Human Intimacy Courses & Educational Resources

When Your Body Takes Over: Understanding the Somatic Response After Discovery In this powerful episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore what happens inside the body in the shocking moments and months following D-Day. Drawing from clinical research, somatic therapy, and lived experience, they explain why betrayed partners often feel rage, panic, numbness, dissociation, or complete shutdown—and why these reactions are normal, protective, and deeply physiological. MaryAnn and Dr. Skinner unpack the autonomic nervous system’s three instinctive responses—fight, flight, and freeze—and reframe them not as signs of “going crazy,” but as the body’s attempt to survive an emotional threat. They discuss how trauma is stored in the body, how healing occurs in waves, and how practices like titration, grounding, movement, and body awareness help gently release stored trauma. Listeners learn why behaviors that feel “out of character” (such as yelling, swearing, shutting down, or being unable to focus) are common after betrayal, and how anger often acts as a protective protest covering the deeper layers of grief and fear underneath. With compassion and clarity, the hosts offer tools for regulating overwhelming emotions, honoring the body’s pace, and finding glimmers of safety during chaos. They encourage listeners to use supportive relationships, healthy outlets, creativity, and somatic practices to slowly widen their window of tolerance and reconnect with their internal world. This episode is an essential guide for anyone trying to make sense of their body’s reactions after betrayal—and a reminder that healing requires patience, softness, and learning to listen inward. Resources Mentioned & Recommended Books & Theoretical Frameworks Deb Dana – Anchored and The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy (Understanding the autonomic nervous system, glimmers, and pathways to safety.) Dr. Stephen Porges – The Polyvagal Theory (Foundational neuroscience behind fight/flight/freeze responses.) Dr. Bessel van der Kolk – The Body Keeps the Score (How trauma is stored and released through the body.) Peter Levine – Waking the Tiger and Somatic Experiencing principles (Titration, pendulation, and body-based trauma healing.) Somatic Practices & Tools Tadasana (Mountain Pose) – A grounding posture used to regulate and reset the nervous system. Superman/Wonder Woman Pose – Posture-based confidence-building and nervous system shifting (Amy Cuddy research). Body scanning – Increasing awareness of where trauma, tension, or emotional energy is stored. Bilateral stimulation activities – Walking, swimming, chopping wood, or rhythmic creative movement. Related Human Intimacy Content Human Intimacy Podcast Episode #95 – Expanded discussion on somatic healing after trauma. Rise: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal Online Course (In-depth assessments, body-based practices, reflective exercises, and guided healing modules.) Additional Supports Journaling prompts for emotional expression Safe support systems: friends, therapists, groups Creative outlets: cooking, music, art, writing Gentle physical practices: walking, yoga, swimming  

  Gaslighting No More: Reclaiming Your Reality After Betrayal Rise: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal Episode Summary In this pivotal episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis take listeners into one of the most damaging elements of betrayal trauma: gaslighting. While the term is often used casually in modern culture, Kevin and MaryAnn break it down clinically and relationally, helping listeners understand how gaslighting reshapes a person’s reality and intensifies post-traumatic stress symptoms. MaryAnn explains the origins of the term and how betrayed partners often experience it as “crazy-making.” When someone senses something is off, but their partner denies, minimizes, or dismisses the concern, the betrayed partner begins to question not only their spouse—but themselves. Dr. Skinner shares the research behind his gaslighting scale and reveals a critical finding: gaslighting is the strongest predictor of PTSD symptoms among betrayed partners, even more influential than adverse childhood experiences. Together they describe how denial, blame, minimizing, hiding, and lying distort a betrayed partner’s internal compass. Gaslighting becomes a form of psychological abuse, causing confusion, self-doubt, and a loss of trust in one’s own instincts. This erosion of personal reality leaves many partners unsure of what is true and what to believe. The episode also highlights the path forward—what Gaslighting No More truly means. Dr. Skinner outlines the transformational role of a formal therapeutic disclosure, impact letter, and emotional restitution letter. These structured interventions help restore truth, rebuild safety, and begin repairing the relational damage caused by deception. MaryAnn emphasizes the importance of trained therapists, thoughtful pacing, and emotional support as couples engage in this process. Listeners are reminded: your reality matters, and reclaiming it is essential to healing. Whether within the relationship or individually, addressing gaslighting is foundational to restoring trust, clarity, and emotional stability. References & Resources Key Research & Clinical Foundations Skinner, K. — Internal research on gaslighting, deception, and PTSD correlations. Kefer, S. (2018). Intimate Deception: Healing the Wounds of Betrayal. Carnes, S. — ITAP foundational work on sex addiction and partner trauma. Vaughn, P. (1989). The Monogamy Myth. Research on the healing effects of discussing betrayal details. CDC Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study. Books & Concepts Mentioned Dr. Kevin Skinner – Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal Dr. Kevin Skinner – Rebuild Your Relationship After Sexual Betrayal Chapter 13: Gaslighting No More Psychological abuse dynamics Denial, blame, and deception patterns Therapeutic Disclosure Model (FTD) PTSD symptoms associated with betrayal trauma Professional and Supportive Resources IITAP.com — Directory of Certified Sex Addiction Therapists (CSAT) and Certified Partner Trauma Therapists (CPTT) HumanIntimacy.com/Rise — Free betrayal trauma assessment including gaslighting and PTSD indicators Human Intimacy educational groups, intensives, and therapeutic programs led by Dr. Skinner

When Betrayal Reshapes How You See Yourself Rise: Hope & Healing After Sexual Betrayal Episode Summary In this episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most painful and often hidden impacts of betrayal: how it reshapes the way you see yourself. After discovering sexual betrayal, many individuals experience a surge of negative self-beliefs — I’m not enough… something must be wrong with me… I should have known… I’m unlovable. Dr. Skinner describes this internal narrative as a “virus” that embeds itself in a person’s belief system, making it difficult to see oneself accurately or compassionately. MaryAnn explains how, developmentally, our brains are wired to seek approval, interpret social cues, and continually scan for safety. When betrayal shatters the foundation of a relationship, these systems go into overdrive, amplifying old insecurities, childhood patterns, and even generational messages about worth. Together, Kevin and MaryAnn highlight that while these negative cognitions feel overpowering, they are understandable responses to trauma — not reflections of your true value. Listeners are reminded of a crucial truth: your worth has never changed. Negative self-talk may be loud, but it is not accurate. Healing involves challenging distorted beliefs, surrounding yourself with trustworthy voices, and engaging in therapeutic tools that help reframe your internal narrative. The hosts discuss powerful interventions such as attachment-focused EMDR, cognitive reframing, and guided support from safe attachment figures. This episode offers clarity, validation, and hope for anyone struggling to reclaim their sense of identity after betrayal. Resources Books & Foundational Concepts Brené Brown – Daring Greatly, The Gifts of Imperfection (shame, worthiness, identity) Mark Wolynn – It Didn’t Start With You (generational trauma and inherited beliefs) Dr. Bessel van der Kolk – The Body Keeps the Score (trauma stored in the body) Francine Shapiro – EMDR framework and negative cognitions model Tools & Therapeutic Modalities Attachment-Focused EMDR Cognitive reframing and restructuring Identifying core negative beliefs (“I’m not enough,” “I’m unlovable”) Inner narrative awareness: If I could hear your thoughts 24/7… Using secure attachment figures (past or present) for grounding Human Intimacy Programs Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal https://www.humanintimacy.com/rise Human Intimacy Podcast episodes related to identity, shame, and worth Reclaim and trauma-focused intensives with Dr. Kevin Skinner

  Understanding and Responding to Triggers After Betrayal Episode Summary In this episode of Rise: Hope and Healing After Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore one of the most common and confusing experiences after betrayal trauma: triggers. Drawing from clinical research, lived experience, and decades of therapeutic practice, they break down why triggers occur, how the body responds, and what partners can do to navigate them with greater clarity and self-compassion. Triggers often appear suddenly—at church, in a grocery store, during a conversation, while watching TV, or even in sleep. Dr. Skinner shares research showing that 80% of betrayed partners experience significant triggers across multiple settings due to heightened fear responses and hypervigilance. MaryAnn describes how the body becomes acutely attuned to cues of danger, often detecting subtle signals before the conscious mind can make sense of them. Listeners are guided through the internal experience of a trigger—tight chest, racing heart, sudden emotion—and learn how to identify, name, and regulate these physiological reactions. The episode introduces two powerful tools: “Name It to Tame It” (Dan Siegel) – Using language to bring the prefrontal cortex back online. The COAL Method – Curiosity, Openness/Observation, Acceptance, Loving-Kindness – to slow down reactions and respond intentionally. The hosts also discuss the difference between seeking external reassurance versus developing internal grounding strategies, the role of self-trust, and how to use tools like conscious breathing (including the “Yamaha breath”) to regulate the autonomic nervous system. This episode provides validation, practical tools, and hope—reminding listeners that triggers are not signs of weakness, but expressions of the body’s innate protective system. With understanding, support, and practice, betrayed partners can move from reacting in fear to responding with awareness, agency, and self-compassion. References Briere, J., & Scott, C. (2015). Principles of trauma therapy: A guide to symptoms, evaluation, and treatment (2nd ed.). SAGE Publications. Brown, B. (2012). Daring greatly: How the courage to be vulnerable transforms the way we live, love, parent, and lead.Gotham Books. Levine, P. A. (2010). In an unspoken voice: How the body releases trauma and restores goodness. North Atlantic Books. Porges, S. W. (2011). The polyvagal theory: Neurophysiological foundations of emotions, attachment, communication, and self-regulation. W. W. Norton. Scott, S. B., & Briere, J. (2006). “Exposure to interpersonal trauma and risk for posttraumatic stress disorder.” Clinical Psychology Review, 26(6), 615–625. Siegel, D. J. (2010). The mindful therapist: A clinician's guide to mindsight and neural integration. W. W. Norton. van der Kolk, B. A. (2014). The body keeps the score: Brain, mind, and body in the healing of trauma. Viking. Skinner, K. (2017). Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal. Growth Publishing.   — Additional Resources: Rise: Hope and Healing Course    

Uncovering the Hidden Wound: Understanding Shame After Sexual Betrayal Summary: In this powerful episode of Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and Marianne Michaelis, LCSW, bring attention to an often overlooked wound—the betrayed partner’s shame. They unpack how shame takes root after discovery, transforming natural questions like “Why did this happen?” into painful self-blame—“I must not be enough.” Drawing from research showing that more than 70–80% of betrayed partners feel unlovable or stupid after betrayal, Dr. Skinner and Marianne explain how shame becomes internalized, influencing thoughts, relationships, and even the body’s physiology. Using insights from Brené Brown and Treating Chronic Shame, they reveal that shame is relational—it thrives in silence, secrecy, and judgment, and begins to heal through connection, voice, and support. The hosts explore practical ways to interrupt the “shame virus,” including naming shame’s physical signals, separating your worth from your partner’s choices, and finding safe, trained support to share your story. They remind listeners that shame cannot survive empathy and that every individual—regardless of betrayal, history, or mistakes—is born with infinite worth that cannot be lost. Listeners are invited to reflect, connect, and take the first step toward reclaiming their true identity beyond the betrayal story. Resources Available Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal Course A guided 12-session journey offering tools to understand trauma, process emotions, and rebuild identity after betrayal. 👉 https://www.humanintimacy.com/course/hope-and-healing-from-sexual-betrayal Human Intimacy Online Educational Support Group Join Dr. Skinner and Marianne Michaelis in an upcoming online group offering teaching, Q&A, and community support. Learn how to apply these concepts in real time with others walking the same path. Additional Resources Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal — Dr. Kevin Skinner’s book exploring the trauma response and pathways to healing. The Other Side of Infidelity — Dr. Skinner’s TEDx Talk explaining betrayal trauma and its impact. Treating Chronic Shame by Patricia DeYoung — referenced in this episode for understanding shame’s relational nature. Articles, podcasts, and free tools available at HumanIntimacy.com

Keeping Your Boat Afloat: Self-Care That Stabilizes After Betrayal (PIERS Framework) Summary: In this episode, Dr. Kevin Skinner and Marianne Michaelis reframe self-care as the essential stabilizer after discovery—not bubble baths, but daily practices that calm the nervous system and restore capacity. Using the PIERS framework(Physical, Intellectual, Emotional, Relational, Spiritual), they show how gentle movement (not overexertion) can switch off fight-or-flight, how learning gives language and edges to a blurry trauma story, and how naming and expressing emotions releases their grip. They highlight the power of connection—groups and one trusted person—to accelerate healing, and they broaden “spiritual” to include values, nature, and quiet reflection that settles the body and clears the mind. With habit-stacking tips (like listening to an audiobook while walking) and cautions against overwhelming already-taxed systems, the episode invites listeners to take one small, doable step today: choose a PIERS practice you can repeat tomorrow. The message is simple and compassionate—you are worth taking care of, and consistent self-care is how your boat stays afloat through the storm. Resources Available Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal Course A structured 12-session program with videos, assignments, and group support for betrayed partners. 👉 https://www.humanintimacy.com/course/hope-and-healing-from-sexual-betrayal Human Intimacy Online Community Join our upcoming educational support group with Dr. Skinner and Marianne Michaelis—weekly sessions, Q&As, and guided learning designed to provide tools and community for ongoing recovery. Additional Resources Treating Trauma from Sexual Betrayal – Dr. Kevin Skinner’s book exploring the science and path of recovery. The Other Side of Infidelity – Dr. Skinner’s TEDx Talk introducing the trauma model of sexual betrayal. Free articles, podcasts, and exercises available at HumanIntimacy.com  

You’re Not Going Crazy: Understanding Your Body’s Response to Betrayal through the Polyvagal Lens Episode Summary In this powerful episode of Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal, Dr. Kevin Skinner and MaryAnn Michaelis explore why betrayed partners often feel like they’re “going crazy” in the aftermath of discovery. Drawing on Dr. Stephen Porges’ Polyvagal Theory, they explain how your body’s automatic survival responses—fight, flight, or freeze—are not signs of instability but biological protections designed to keep you safe. Dr. Skinner and MaryAnn walk listeners through the physiological impact of betrayal trauma, describing how the nervous system reacts when safety is shattered. They discuss common physical symptoms such as sleeplessness, loss of appetite, and panic, explaining how these are natural outcomes of a body in distress. MaryAnn introduces practical grounding tools—like mindful breathing and body awareness—to help listeners reconnect with themselves, while Dr. Skinner emphasizes that healing begins by understanding and respecting the body’s instinct to protect. Together, they outline how to recognize where you are on the Polyvagal Ladder—whether in a state of ventral vagal calm, sympathetic arousal, or dorsal shutdown—and how to use gentle practices to move toward safety, regulation, and connection. This episode offers clarity and compassion for anyone feeling overwhelmed after betrayal, reminding listeners that you are not broken—you’re human, and your body is doing exactly what it was designed to do. 📚 Resources & References Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-Regulation. W. W. Norton & Company. Dana, D. (2018). The Polyvagal Theory in Therapy: Engaging the Rhythm of Regulation. W. W. Norton & Company. Siegel, D. J. (2012). The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind. Delacorte Press. Johnson, S. (2008). Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. Little, Brown Spark. Human Intimacy — Course: Rise: Hope and Healing from Sexual Betrayal – A 12-week guided program designed for betrayed partners to understand trauma, rebuild safety, and begin recovery. Worksheet: Mapping Your Polyvagal Responses – Included in the course to help you identify your nervous-system states and create personalized strategies for regulation.