Advertise on podcast: The Own My Life Podcast

Join us as Abi Thomas meets amazing women who have all been through the Own My Life Course, 12 sessions which enable women who have been subjected to abuse to regain ownership of their lives. Be aware that you will hear painful stories of many types of abuse during these episodes. But you will also hear a lot of joy - and we make no apology for that! Today we meet the wonderful Viran and Helen. Viran Wiltshire is a Detective Sergeant with 25 years of experience in the Metropolitan Police, specialising in public protection and domestic abuse policy development. She is credited for creating a standalone domestic abuse policy for staff and officers for the whole Met Police, establishing support mechanisms like a force-wide Independent Domestic Violence Advocate (IDVA), and co-leading the HEAL DA initiative for system-wide police support for those subjected to abuse. Viran is dedicated to empowering colleagues who have been abused, improving organisational culture, and has been recognised with the King’s medal for her efforts. Helen is a magnificent woman and a serving officer at the Metropolitan Police. She is a participant and advocate for Own My Life, which she credits with enabling her to move forward with her life after she was abused by her partner. She particularly speaks to the ways Own My Life contributed to improved health and well-being. Helen acts as an ambassador, referring other police staff to the course. She emphasises the power of support networks and the Own My Life sisterhood and values the positive shifts in culture and empathy that the course inspires within the police force. More information about Own My Life: Our training HEREFind a course HEREEvaluations HEREOwn My Life Discovery HERE Further Reading and Resources: Employers Initiative on Domestic Abuse HEREMet Police blog HERE You may realise as you listen that you, or someone you know, needs help or support to get safe. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is on 0808 2000 247. If you have concerns that a man is behaving in an unsafe way to a partner you can contact the Respect Perpetrator Phoneline on 0800 802 4040. The Rape Crisis England and Wales helpline is 0808 500 2222. Rape Crisis Scotland is 08088 010302 and Rape Crisis Northern Ireland is 0800 0246 991. Music: Untamed (Instrumental Version) used with permission and our thanks to Ludlów.

Join us as Abi Thomas meets amazing women who have all been through the Own My Life course, 12 sessions which enable women who have been subjected to abuse to regain ownership of their lives. Be aware that you will hear painful stories of many types of abuse during these episodes. But you will also hear a lot of joy - and we make no apology for that! Today we meet the fantastic Naomi. Naomi is a clear-thinking and radiant woman and mother. Her husband abused her for over 15 years. Naomi only realised the extent of his control and emotional manipulation after many years together, initially believing that relationship challenges were normal and required perseverance, she experienced a pivotal "thunderbolt moment" that shifted her understanding and made her recognise her husband’s abuse of her. Naomi endured his escalating control of nearly every aspect of her life, from finances and daily routines to social connections and even how she physically cared for herself. Despite these challenges, Naomi found ways badass and brilliant ways to quietly resist and began carefully planning her eventual departure, building a trusted support network and prioritising hers and her children’s. She describes feeling isolated and the necessity of not leaving him until she was certain she could do so safely and permanently. Naomi’s faith and the supportive environment of her church community played an important role in her recovery, although she acknowledges not all faith communities are equipped to be supportive, including her previous church. Following her departure, Naomi gained a sense of joy and freedom in daily choices; whether simple decisions like buying yogurt or larger ones like enjoying her children and time with friends free from fear. More information about Own My Life: Our training HEREFind a course HEREEvaluations HEREOwn My Life Discovery HERE Further Reading and Resources: Safety Plan HEREOut of Control by Natalie Collins HERE (audio book HERE)Abuse is a Verb by Natalie Collins HEREOwn My Life Discovery HERETraumatic Attachment:Mags Lesiak report HEREZoe Lodrick article HEREStop Blaming Mothers and Ignoring Fathers by David MandelRestored HEREFaith and VAWG Coalition HERE You may realise as you listen that you, or someone you know, needs help or support to get safe. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is on 0808 2000 247. If you have concerns that a man is behaving in an unsafe way to a partner you can contact the Respect Perpetrator Phoneline on 0800 802 4040. If you would like to talk to someone about suicidal feelings please call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline. The Rape Crisis England and Wales helpline is 0808 500 2222. Rape Crisis Scotland is 08088 010302 and Rape Crisis Northern Ireland is 0800 0246 991. Music: Untamed (Instrumental Version) used with permission and our thanks to Ludlów.

Join us as Abi Thomas and Natalie Collins meet amazing women who have all been through the Own My Life Course, 12 sessions which enable women who have been subjected to abuse to regain ownership of their lives. Be aware that you will hear painful stories of many types of abuse during these episodes. But you will also hear a lot of joy - and we make no apology for that! Today we meet the splendid Tara. Tara is a strong and reflective woman who was partner subjected her to a prolonged and complex abuse within a ten-year relationship. His abuse was deeply emotional and psychological, including destroying her home, manipulating her, and his repeated cycles of blaming her and making her feel guilty. Tara’s partner owned a business with her. He is now subject to a 6 year harassment order and a short term restriction of liberty order. She describes herself as having been compassionate and empathic, focused on helping her partner and seeing the good in him, even as he became increasingly dysfunctional and his abuse towards her escalated. Tara sought healing and understanding through therapy and support groups, notably Own My Life and Women's Aid, which both played a major role in her recovery. She recognises both the trauma his abuse caused her and the strength it took to leave, rebuild, and redefine herself. Despite him taking so much from her; her home, business, financial security, and sense of identity, Tara maintains hope for the future and finds joy in simple pleasures, such as late-night walks and the companionship of her lovely dog. Throughout her story, Tara demonstrates courage, honesty, and a desire to help others understand the complexities of making sense of a relationship with an abusive partner. Her community is really important to her and seeks to move beyond what her partner did to her, reclaiming her agency and embracing personal growth. More information about Own My Life: Our training HEREFind a course HEREEvaluations HEREOwn My Life Discovery HERE Further Reading and Resources: Woman's Aid UK and Scottish Women's AidSurviving Economic Abuse HEREThe Body Keeps the Score by ​Bessel van der KolkWhen the Body Says No by Gabor MateCoercive Control by Evan StarkMore on the Power Threat Meaning Framework Pattern HEREA Straight Talking Guide to the Power Threat Meaning Framework You may realise as you listen that you, or someone you know, needs help or support to get safe. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is on 0808 2000 247. If you have concerns that a man is behaving in an unsafe way to a partner you can contact the Respect Perpetrator Phoneline on 0800 802 4040. If you would like to talk to someone about suicidal feelings please call the National Suicide Prevention Helpline. The Rape Crisis England and Wales helpline is 0808 500 2222. Rape Crisis Scotland is 08088 010302 and Rape Crisis Northern Ireland is 0800 0246 991. Music: Untamed (Instrumental Version) used with permission and our thanks to Ludlów.

Join us as Abi Thomas meets amazing women who have all been through the Own My Life Course, 12 sessions which enable women who have been subjected to abuse to regain ownership of their lives. Be aware that you will hear painful stories of many types of abuse during these episodes. But you will also hear a lot of joy - and we make no apology for that! Today we meet the wonderful Lorna. Lorna is a courageous and visionary woman who has survived both a childhood and adulthood dominated by abusers. Lorna has also lived with addiction, and been through the trauma of losing her child to care proceedings. Her journey led her to Her Circle, a beautiful organisation dedicated to supporting women with dealing with “complex motherhood”, where she found healing and empowerment. Lorna has since reclaimed her life, built a strong relationship with her daughter, and become an advocate for systemic change, including speaking in parliament. Lorna’s former partner was significantly older than her, and subjected her to physical abuse from the start of the relationship. His emotional and psychological abuse of her was severe. Exercising control over her finances, her partner isolated her from others, manipulated and intimidated her, and his possessiveness was wielded as a way to control her relationship with her daughter, preventing cuddling her daughter or showing her she loved her. Her partner sexually abused Lorna, his threats to her were ongoing, and were realised in acts of violence, including him seriously injuring her. His abuse also included him sharing intimate videos of her online to further traumatise and control her. Lorna is a remarkable woman, who now helps facilitate Own My Life courses, using her skills and joy to support and inspire other women. Lorna embodies strength, hope, and the power of sisterhood, transforming her what was done to her into a mission to help others reclaim ownership of their lives. More information about Own My Life: Our training HEREFind a course HEREEvaluations HEREOwn My Life Discovery HERE Further Reading and Resources: Tim Churchill’s report on domestic abuse and suicide HEREMother of Invention by Katrine MarçalMaking Life Worth Living article HERE You may realise as you listen that you, or someone you know, needs help or support to get safe. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is on 0808 2000 247. If you have concerns that a man is behaving in an unsafe way to a partner you can contact the Respect Perpetrator Phoneline on 0800 802 4040. The Rape Crisis England and Wales helpline is 0808 500 2222. Rape Crisis Scotland is 08088 010302 and Rape Crisis Northern Ireland is 0800 0246 991. Music: Untamed (Instrumental Version) used with permission and our thanks to Ludlów.

Join us as Abi Thomas meets amazing women who have all been through the Own My Life course, 12 sessions which enable women who have been subjected to abuse to regain ownership of their lives. Be aware that you will hear painful stories of many types of abuse during these episodes. But you will also hear a lot of joy - and we make no apology for that! Today we meet the marvellous Clara. Clara is a creative and strong woman who was subjected to abuse by her former partner and found renewed joy, confidence, and autonomy after completing Own My Life. Her journey was marked by years of self-doubt, gradual recognition of her partner’s abuse, and overcoming the emotional and practical obstacles to leaving him. Clara values freedom, self-expression, and authenticity, qualities she celebrates in her new life. Despite manipulation, gaslighting, threatening behaviour and repeated violations of her boundaries, Clara maintained a core sense of self-worth, eventually drawing strength from her support network of family, friends, Women’s Aid, and Own My Life. She is honest about the difficulty of recognising and naming abuse, and she highlights the importance of understanding, support and self-compassion in recovery. We also hear about Clara’s inspiring moments of resisting her partner’s abuse, maintaining her sense of value. Clara’s story reflects both vulnerability and courage: she acknowledges the scars left by the abuser but also the hope and sense of possibility she’s rediscovered. She embraces her creativity and encourages others to realise that they are always enough. Clara shows us the extraordinary potential for renewal after escaping an abuser. More information about Own My Life: Our training HEREFind a course HEREEvaluations HEREOwn My Life Discovery HERE Further Reading and Resources: Abuse is a Verb by Natalie CollinsInvisible Women by Caroline Criado Perez You may realise as you listen that you, or someone you know, needs help or support to get safe. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is on 0808 2000 247. If you have concerns that a man is behaving in an unsafe way to a partner you can contact the Respect Perpetrator Phoneline on 0800 802 4040. The Rape Crisis England and Wales helpline is 0808 500 2222. Rape Crisis Scotland is 08088 010302 and Rape Crisis Northern Ireland is 0800 0246 991. Music: Untamed (Instrumental Version) used with permission and our thanks to Ludlów.

Join us as Abi Thomas meets amazing women who have all been through the Own My Life course, 12 sessions which enable women who have been subjected to abuse to regain ownership of their lives. Be aware that you will hear painful stories of many types of abuse during these episodes. But you will also hear a lot of joy - and we make no apology for that! Today we meet the brilliant Monty who is a resilient and compassionate woman who shares her powerful journey of survival, resistance, and healing after her former partner abused her for 23 years. Monty recounts how this man abused her emotionally, physically, and sexually, using manipulation, intimidation, and cycles of kindness and cruelty to control her. She explains how the abuse eroded her self-confidence, led her to question herself, and forced her to constantly adapt her behaviour to avoid triggering her partner’s anger. Despite these challenges, Monty describes small acts of resistance; finding sanctuary in her bedroom, journaling, meditating, and protecting her internal world as forms of self-care. After many attempts to leave, she eventually sought safety in a women’s refuge and found crucial support through Own My Life. The course helped Monty understand the patterns of abuse in her partner’s behaviour, let go of misplaced self-blame, and recognise that she deserved safety and joy. Monty describes rediscovering happiness in everyday moments; like seeing birds in her garden, enjoying time with family, and making her own choices without fear. By telling her story, Monty offers inspiration and reassurance to others facing similar challenges, showing that recovery and a joyful, empowered life are possible after being subjected to abuse, even when that abuse lasts 23 years. More information about Own My Life: Find a course HEREEvaluations HEREOwn My Life Discovery HERE Further Reading and Resources: Cycle of Abuse (PDF HERE) (Image HERE)Power Threat Meaning Framework HEREA Disorder for Everyone HEREAnatomy of an Epidemic by Robert WhittakerThe War on Women by Marilyn FrenchCan’t Buy Me Love by Jean Kilbourne You may realise as you listen that you, or someone you know, needs help or support to get safe. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is on 0808 2000 247. If you have concerns that a man is behaving in an unsafe way to a partner you can contact the Respect Perpetrator Phoneline on 0800 802 4040. The Rape Crisis England and Wales helpline is 0808 500 2222. Rape Crisis Scotland is 08088 010302 and Rape Crisis Northern Ireland is 0800 0246 991. Music: Untamed (Instrumental Version) used with permission and our thanks to Ludlów.

Join us as Abi Thomas meets amazing women who have all been through the Own My Life course, 12 sessions which enable women who have been subjected to abuse to regain ownership of their lives. Be aware that you will hear painful stories of many types of abuse during these episodes. But you will also hear a lot of joy - and we make no apology for that! Today we meet Jade, a remarkable and positive woman whose partner was found guilty of repeated breaches of a non-molestation order. The legal consequences were minimal and Jade said, “it doesn't even feel like that was my justice, but it's over with”. As well as the physical abuse, Jade was subjected to manipulation and exhaustion. She is a mother devoted to her fantastic children, the eldest of whom witnessed some of the abuse Jade was subjected to. Jade found support through the fabulous charity Feather’s Futures, where she accessed Own My Life. The course helped her to rebuild her confidence and recognise that her partner’s abuse was not her fault. Jade has now returned to co-facilitate the very course that helped her heal. Jade tells us about the compassionate and loving support from both her Mum and Dad. We also hear about her methods of resisting the abuse - something we seek to celebrate at Own My Life. Jade is honest about the ongoing effects of what was done to her; not just on herself, but also on her children. Despite the challenges, she retains a positive outlook, focusing on the joy in her daily life, the choices she can now freely make, and the future she is building for herself and her family. More information about Own My Life: Find a course HEREEvaluations HEREOwn My Life Discovery HERE Further reading and resources: Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft Eve Was Framed by Helena KennedyBiderman Behaviours (Image HERE)Counter Parenting resource HEREDreams Deferred research HERE (includes data on men’s reproductive coercion of women) You may realise as you listen that you, or someone you know, needs help or support to get safe. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is on 0808 2000 247. If you have concerns that a man is behaving in an unsafe way to a partner you can contact the Respect Perpetrator Phoneline on 0800 802 4040. The Rape Crisis England and Wales helpline is 0808 500 2222. Rape Crisis Scotland is 08088 010302 and Rape Crisis Northern Ireland is 0800 0246 991. Music: Untamed (Instrumental Version) used with permission and our thanks to Ludlów.

Join us as Abi Thomas and Natalie Collins meet amazing women who have been part of an Own My Life Course, a 12-session course which enables women who have been subjected to abuse to regain ownership of their lives.  Be aware that you will hear painful stories of many types of abuse during these episodes. But you will also hear a lot of joy - and we make no apology for that! Subscribe now to get all the episodes when we launch on January 1st 2026! We are so excited to go on this journey with you. Own My Life information: Our website HEREFind a course HERE You may realise as you listen that you, or someone you know, needs help or support to get safe. The National Domestic Abuse Helpline is on 0808 2000 247. If you have concerns that a man is behaving in an unsafe way to a partner you can contact the Respect Perpetrator Phoneline on 0800 802 4040. Music: Untamed (Instrumental Version) used with permission and our thanks to Ludlów.