Advertise on podcast: The Divorce Planner

Divorce is one of the most administratively demanding processes you'll ever navigate — deadlines, documents, financial disclosures, follow-up tasks. For someone with ADHD, it can feel completely paralyzing. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Whitney Light, a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst (CDFA) who has worked with ADHD clients navigating divorce, and who navigated the divorce process herself with ADHD.   Whitney and I talk about why the divorce process is particularly brutal for the ADHD brain, what "the freeze" actually looks like and how to break through it, and how ADHD shows up in the financial patterns of a marriage — and then resurfaces during negotiations. She also shares what her own experience taught her about what people with ADHD actually need that the traditional legal and financial system doesn't provide. If you have ADHD and you're navigating divorce — or you've been feeling frozen, overwhelmed, and behind before you've even started — this conversation is for you. Resources mentioned: The 5-5-5 Rule: Your Divorce Decision Making Framework - Listen to an episode about it or read a blog post I write about it.  Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

One of the most painful and confusing things that can happen after divorce is a child suddenly refusing to see one of their parents. It leaves the rejected parent feeling powerless and heartbroken, and it leaves the other parent unsure whether they're protecting their child or somehow making things worse. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Amy Armstrong, conflict resolution expert and founder of the Center for Family Resolution, for an honest conversation about what's really going on when a child resists or refuses contact—and what parents on both sides can actually do about it.Amy works at the intersection of coaching, psychology, and the family court system, and she trains judges on what's known as "resist-refuse dynamics." We talk about why kids refuse contact, what parental alienation actually looks like, the mistakes that make the situation worse, and what a rejected parent can do to protect the relationship without escalating the conflict. Whether you're the parent being refused or the parent navigating your child's resistance, this conversation will help you understand what's happening beneath the surface — and how to respond in a way that protects your child and your relationship with them. Resources Mentioned: podcast.thecenterforfamilyresolution.com/planner Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

If your spouse owns a business, or holds complex assets like stock options, how to value and divide these assets is one of the most important and most challenging parts of divorce. Figuring out what those assets are actually worth can be tricky, and getting it wrong can cost you significantly. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Matt Springer, a business valuation expert with nearly two decades of experience in valuation and litigation support, to break down what really happens when a business or complex asset gets valued in a divorce—and what you need to understand to protect yourself. What we cover: What actually happens when you're dividing assets and a spouse owns a business, professional practice, or other illiquid assetHow compensation arrangements, equity awards, stock options, notes, and pensions get evaluatedWhat to look for, and what to question, when you're handed a valuation reportThe red flags that mean you may need a second opinionWhen valuation numbers get challenged, and what that means for youIf you're staring down a divorce with a business owner, or are a business owner new to this process, this conversation will help you understand what you're dealing with so you can ask the right questions and advocate for yourself. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

Financial abuse is more common than you think. Red flags can show up in how you're frozen out from account access, having to ask for spending money on basics like groceries and gas, and being told "you don't have to worry about that" when you ask any financial questions. These are all signs of a financial power imbalance, and they lead to major issues during divorce.  In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Jackie Combs, a California family law attorney, advocate for women's financial empowerment, and founder of Love Richer, for a conversation about the toxic money patterns that show up in dating and marriage, and why they almost always resurface as landmines during divorce. What we cover: How women unknowingly surrender financial autonomy, and what that looks like years later in a settlementFinancial infidelity: hidden accounts, undisclosed debt, concealed income, and how it surfaces in discoveryWhat women misunderstand about what they're actually entitled to during divorceThe first three things to do if you're recognizing financial red flags right now, before you make any moveWhat Jackie wants every financially controlled woman to know before she walks into a consultation with an attorneyThe conversation about money and power in relationships that most people are still too afraid to haveIf you're in a relationship where you feel financially shut out, or you're beginning to consider divorce and worried about what you don't know, this episode will give you clarity, language, and a plan. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

The most damaging mistake I see people make during divorce isn't a legal or financial one. It's expecting their spouse to suddenly behave differently than they always have. And every time they don't, the shock and fury pulls you back into the same loop — one that can outlast your marriage by decades if you don't address it now. In this episode I'm sharing the concept of radical acceptance, specifically what it actually is, what it isn't, and why it's the only thing that genuinely gets you out of the pattern. We talk about the neuroscience of why these loops feel impossible to break, the riptide analogy that reframes everything, and a specific tool that works better than any filtered, measured response ever will. This isn't about being the bigger person. It's about stopping the drain on your own energy, clarity, and future. If you're exhausted from trying to get your spouse to communicate differently, take accountability, or simply show up the way you need them to,  this episode is for you. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

Divorce brings up two of the hardest emotions to talk about: grief and shame. Grief for the life you thought you'd have, the future you planned together, and the identity you're losing. And shame because even though divorce is common, there's still a stigma attached to it that can make you feel like you've failed. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Kim Polinder, associate therapist and author of Why We Fight (HarperOne), for an honest conversation about how to actually process these difficult emotions instead of rushing past them or burying them in a new relationship. What we cover: Why grief is normal even in amicable divorces and how it can surface unexpectedlyThe shame that surrounds divorce and how to recognize patterns that have played out in other areas of your lifeHow to process grief with supportive people rather than in isolationCreating rituals for closure including writing letters or revisiting meaningful placesWhy rushing into new relationships without grieving leads to repeating patternsUnderstanding your deepest triggers and what you're seeking from relationshipsThe importance of introspection before entering your next relationshipHow to prevent second divorces by breaking cycles and clarifying your valuesMoving through pain with self-compassion instead of judgmentWhether you're in the middle of divorce, recently separated, or healing on the other side, this conversation offers compassionate guidance to help you process grief and shame so you can move forward with greater self-awareness and emotional health. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

Divorce brings up a tsunami of emotions, and as a mom, you're not just navigating your own feelings, you're holding space for your children's too. Carving out time for yourself can feel impossible. Or worse, it can feel selfish. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Leah Marie Mazur, an empowerment coach and founder of Mindfully Ready, for a conversation about how moms can prioritize their own well-being without guilt—because you can't pour from an empty cup. What we cover: Why self-care isn't selfish when you're a mom going through divorceHow to create a realistic self-care routine that fits your actual lifeBuilding a support network beyond just family Setting new goals for yourself when everything feels uncertainNavigating mom guilt when you need to put yourself firstEmbracing flexibility and seeing this transition as full of new possibilitiesHow to show up for your kids when you're running on emptySmall, actionable steps you can take today to start rebuildingWhether you're in the middle of divorce or rebuilding on the other side, this episode will remind you that prioritizing your well-being matters, for you and your kids.   Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

If you're divorcing a narcissist—or think you might be—this episode is exactly what you need. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Allison Adamovic, a licensed marriage and family therapist (LMFT) and narcissistic abuse recovery specialist, for an expert conversation about how to recognize narcissism and protect yourself during divorce.  Allison brings clinical expertise to help you understand the real difference between typical divorce conflict and actual narcissistic abuse—and what to do about it. We dive deep into the manipulation tactics narcissists use, why they can't change, and your concrete action plan for divorcing someone with narcissistic personality disorder. What we cover: Clinical signs of narcissism vs. just difficult divorce behaviorWhy narcissists can't change (the science behind brain chemistry and genetics)Manipulation tactics explained including word salad, gaslighting, and deflectingBreaking free from guilt and confusion that keeps you stuckFinancial abuse and psychological control patterns to recognizeWarning signs of escalating abuse and when to get help immediatelyYour concrete action plan for divorcing a narcissist safelyHow to protect yourself emotionally, legally, and financiallyRecovery strategies for healing from narcissistic abuseWhether you're just starting to recognize the patterns or already deep in a high-conflict divorce with a narcissist, this conversation provides expert clinical guidance on how to protect yourself and move forward. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

If you've been emotionally checked out of your marriage for months or even years but haven't actually left, you're not alone. You might be what The Cut called "quiet quitting your marriage" or what I call being in "the slow fade"—still in the house, still married on paper, but emotionally you left a long time ago. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Betsy Pake, a midlife change expert and host of "The Art of Living Big" podcast, for an honest conversation about what's really happening when you're stuck in this painful gray zone between staying and leaving—and more importantly, how to take control and move forward. Betsy helps women get crystal clear on whether they're actually done with their marriages or if they're just scared of change. We dive deep into the difference between needing space and being finished, the real cost of staying withdrawn for years, and the first steps to take when you're exhausted but terrified to make a move. What we cover: What's actually happening when you emotionally check out but don't tell your partnerWhy people get frozen in the limbo of being married but completely disengagedThe difference between needing space and being finished with your marriageWhat clarity actually looks like (it's not the lightning bolt moment you're expecting)The cost of the slow fade and what happens when you spend years emotionally withdrawnCan you come back from quiet quitting your marriage, or is withdrawal the beginning of the end?The first step to take when you're emotionally checked out, exhausted, but terrified to make a moveHow to separate fear of change from genuine desire to save your marriage Understanding whether you're protecting yourself or just stuck in fear is the first step toward making a decision you can live with. Whether you've been quietly quitting your marriage for years or you're just starting to realize you've checked out, this conversation offers compassionate guidance to help you take control and move forward—whatever that looks like for you. For more on this topic, read my blog post "The Slow Fade" here: https://www.thedivorceplanner.net/post/the-slow-fade-when-you-ve-already-left-the-marriage-in-your-head Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

Here's something nobody tells you when you're in the middle of divorce: this is actually one of the most powerful opportunities of your life. Because for most people, this is the first time in years, maybe ever, they can stop and figure out who they actually are, what they actually want, and what kind of life they actually want to build. The problem is that most people skip that part. They rush into the next relationship, the next distraction, the next version of the life they just left—without stopping to ask whether any of it is actually what they want. And then they wake up on the other side of their divorce in a life that's reactive instead of intentional. In this episode, I'm sharing my five-step framework for reflection and rebuilding after divorce, the process that takes you from surviving this ending to intentionally designing your best next chapter. Whether you're in the middle of divorce or already on the other side, this episode will help you stop reacting and start building something that's actually, completely, yours. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

Most people file for divorce without doing any of the preparation that would have saved them thousands of dollars and months of stress. Not because they didn't have time, but because nobody told them what to do first. And then they regret it for years. This episode is the roadmap. In it, I walk you through my framework for getting divorce ready in four weeks, one focus area at a time, so it never feels overwhelming. We start with your emotional foundation: getting grounded, clarifying your values and priorities, and lining up support. Then we move into getting your entire financial picture organized while you still have full access to everything. From there, we tackle the question I hear most—"What should I ask for?"—by building a real post-divorce budget so you stop guessing and start knowing your numbers. And finally, we get your legal and strategic foundation in place: understanding your options, choosing the right attorney, learning your state's laws, and knowing when to bring in a CDFA. The work you do in this window determines how prepared you are when it counts most—at the negotiating table, in mediation, or in front of a judge. Whether you're certain you're moving forward or still deciding, this episode gives you a clear, step-by-step plan to prepare with confidence instead of fear. Additional resources mentioned in the episode:  Listen to the Dear Future Self episode from Season 1. Read The Two Numbers You Need Before Divorce Negotiations: Your Marital Standard of Living and Post-Divorce Budget. The Divorce Planner's CDFA vetted Monthly Budget Calculator spreadsheet.  Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

Telling your spouse you want a divorce might be one of the hardest conversations you'll ever have. And the way you handle it can set the tone for everything that comes after, like: your divorce process, your co-parenting relationship, your ability to move forward with compassion and dignity. In this episode, I'm walking you through my complete framework for having "the talk.: From how to know you're actually ready, the emotional and practical homework to do beforehand, how to choose the right time and place, what to actually say (and what to avoid), and how to stay grounded no matter how your spouse reacts. Whether you're planning to have this conversation soon or just starting to think it through, this episode will help you approach one of life's hardest moments with grace, respect, and a plan. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

If you've been quietly going through the motions of your marriage, you're physically there but emotionally somewhere else, you're in what I call the slow fade.  You've probably seen the phrase "quiet quitting your marriage" floating around. What I see with clients who are in this position is a gradual emotional withdrawal that almost always happens after a long period of trying. You communicated. You suggested therapy. You said the hard things. And eventually you ran out of energy to keep trying to change someone who didn't want to change. In this episode, I'll help you tell the difference between the slow fade and actually knowing you're done, walk through what this signal is telling you, and share where to start if you're in it right now. Taking steps to break out of the limbo you're living in can feel scary, but if you let fear and doubt take over, you could be in this space for years, or even decades.   Whether you're sure you're done or genuinely don't know yet, this episode will help you stop waiting for circumstances to decide for you and get you on the path to making a conscious choice on your terms. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

We made it! Season 1 finale of The Divorce Planner Podcast. Over Season 1, we've covered everything from when to meet with an attorney to how to find hidden assets, from creating bulletproof parenting plans to healing from grief and shame. Today I'm reflecting on what we've learned together, pointing you toward episodes you might have missed based on where you are in your journey, and sharing what makes this podcast different from other divorce content out there. Whether you're just starting to think about divorce, actively preparing, or navigating high-conflict situations, this episode will help you find the Season 1 conversations that matter most for your situation right now—and understand how to use this podcast as a resource throughout your divorce journey. Thank you for being here. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson

If you're going through divorce and feeling isolated and alone, this episode is exactly what you need. In today's episode, I'm sitting down with Hillary Livingston Giddings and Bethany M. Pace, the powerhouse duo behind Sincerely, Divorced, for an uplifting conversation about why community is everything during and after divorce. Hillary and Bethany know firsthand what it's like to navigate divorce feeling like you have to figure it all out alone. As friends who both went through divorce during the pandemic, they turned their experience into something powerful—a community that's changing how people think about life after divorce through real talk, raw honesty, and their "breakdown to glow-up" philosophy. We dive deep into how to use your vulnerability as a superpower to make genuine connections, why finding your people transforms the divorce journey, and how to rediscover joy and laughter when you never thought you'd feel that way again. What we cover: Why community matters during one of life's loneliest transitionsHow to find your people when you're feeling isolatedUsing vulnerability as strength to make authentic connectionsThe "breakdown to glow-up" philosophy and embracing both sides of divorceFinding humor and joy again even in the hardest momentsBuilding a support system that actually works (friends, coaches, online communities)Why it's okay to not have it all figured out and who can help at each stageReal talk and raw honesty about what divorce actually feels likeHow friendship saved them during their own divorce journeysWhether you're just thinking about divorce, in the middle of the process, or rebuilding on the other side, this conversation will remind you that you're not alone—and that joy, laughter, and connection are not only possible but within reach. Want more resources? Check out my blog, grab my free "24 Questions to Ask A Divorce Attorney" guide, or sign up for my free 4-Email Divorce Prep Series for a step-by-step roadmap before you meet with an attorney.  Need personalized help? Book a free 15-minute call or subscribe to my newsletter for weekly tips. The Divorce Planner podcast is for educational purposes only and does not constitute legal or financial advice. Consult qualified professionals about your situation. Podcast Original Music, Editing, and Mixing by: Benjamin Robinson