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Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. This week, in honour of Halloween, Sooz freaks Michael out by relaying the story of the Enfield Poltergeist. In August of 1977, a single mother living in Enfield, north London told the police that she had witnessed furniture moving around her home, and that two of her four children had heard knocking sounds on the walls. Over the next 18 months, the story of the Enfield Poltergeist became a tabloid newspaper phenomenon, as stories of levitating children, flying Lego, spooky voices and demonic possession filled the pages of the Daily Mirror and The Observer.  So, was the Enfield Poltergeist real? Could it have possibly been a hoax? And what did this paranormal story have to do with British working-class life in the 1970s? Listen up to find out! But first, we present a sausage-focused edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News." And subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. Episode two of this deep-dive in to Nigel Farage is up now on the Patreon! *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp! SHOWS! October 25th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Komedia, Brighton TICKETS November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. This week we welcome comedian Andrew Johnston back to the pod to talk about some of the most notable female artists who rose to fame in Canada during the 1980s and 90s. Did they conquer the global charts? Not necessarily. But they were certainly on Canadian TV a lot.  Artists discussed in this episode include Atlantic Canada's most infamous communist agitator Rita MacNeil; Metal Queen Lee Aaron; blues singer/Canadian Idol judge Sass Jordan; wedding popsters Candi & the Backbeat; dance floor legends Simone Denny and Love Inc.; and melancholy balladeer/celebrated comedian Jann Arden.  But first, we present an edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News." Be sure to follow Andrew on Instagram. And subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. Episode two of this deep-dive in to Nigel Farage is up now on the Patreon! *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp! SHOWS! October 18th - Sooz at Sunday Cabaret @ Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London TICKETS October 25th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Komedia, Brighton TICKETS November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

On this week's Patreon exclusive bonus episode we're reading more of the least sexy columns every written: sex columns from The Metro, London's favourite free newspaper. This is just a preview, for the full episode head to our Patreon where you'll also find a bunch more exclusive episodes and other content.

On this week's Patreon exclusive bonus episode we're being sophisticated grown-ups and, inspired by the lady who diarrhoea'd herself and everyone else at Hyrox, talking about other athletes who have done the same. It's so nice! This is just a preview but for the full almost-hour-long YES THAT'S RIGHT WE TALK ABOUT THIS FOR AN HOUR episode head to our Patreon where you'll also find a bunch more exclusive episodes and other content.

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. This week Sooz tells Michael the story of 90s phenomenon Lara Croft, the superstar lady protagonist of the incredibly popular Tomb Raider video game franchise. Was she aimed at girls? Did she go to school with Prince Charles? Why did her appearance change from game to game? And was there really a perverted cheat code that made her clothes disappear? Listen up to find out the answer to all of these questions and more! But first, Michael reads TWO missives in this week's edition of "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News." Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. Episode two of this deep-dive in to Nigel Farage is up now on the Patreon! *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp! SHOWS! October 10th - Sooz at Quantum Leopard @ Bold Elephant, London TICKETS October 18th - Sooz at Sunday Cabaret @ Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London TICKETS November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. This week Sooz and Michael share their thoughts on the new, four-hour documentary about Elon Musk they saw at the Toronto International Film Festival. Is four hours too long to stare at Elon's beautiful face? Listen to find out! But first, there's a pizza-focused edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News." Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. Episode two of this deep-dive in to Nigel Farage is up now on the Patreon! *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp! SHOWS! October 3rd - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Aberystwyth Comedy Festival TICKETS November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. This week it's the second part of our deep dive into the world of Nigel Farage, Britain's favourite Guinness and champagne swiller. From the Brexit disaster to Reform's current £72 million pound problem, we talk about Nige's cool life since 2015. Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. Episode two of this deep-dive in to Nigel Farage is up now on the Patreon! *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp! SHOWS! October 3rd - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Aberystwyth Comedy Festival TICKETS   November 4th - Sooz Kempner: IMPOSTER @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. This week it's time for us to go deep inside the world of Nigel Farage. From plane crashes to election losses to constantly getting covered in milkshake...this guy knows how to live a life! So much so that we've spread him out over two episodes. Mmmm spread em, Nige. Part one takes us from his birth to 2015. Episode two next week (or already available exclusively on our Patreon). ALSO: someone writes in with a business idea in the latest edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News." Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes. Episode two of this deep-dive in to Nigel Farage is up now on the Patreon! *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp! SHOWS! September 13 - Sooz guesting on NonCensored - The Last Show @ Kings Place, London - TICKETS September 17th - Sooz and Michael are on together at Laugh Sabbath @ Comedy Bar (Bloor St), Toronto - TICKETS November 4th - Sooz's new show Imposter @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada.  Are you ready to FARM? You'd better be, because this week's episode is about the wild and erotic history of British agricultural shows. Why? Because Sooz and Michael recently attended one, and it featured top tier livestock, a band playing Rolling Stones covers, and a parade of vintage tractors operated by middle class men cosplaying as farmers. Get into it, city slicker. ALSO: a new, cider-themed edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News." Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes, like our recent Only Fools and Horses watch-along of the episode "Who's a Pretty Boy?" (Series 03, Episode 07).  *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp! SHOWS! September 3rd - Michael at Laugh Sabbath @ Comedy Bar (Bloor St), Toronto - TICKETS September 6th - Sooz at Sunday Cabaret @ Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London - TICKETS September 10th - Sooz at Stand Up for Gaza @ Old Queen's Head, Islington - TICKETS September 13 - Sooz guesting on NonCensored - The Last Show @ Kings Place, London - TICKETS November 4th - Sooz's new show Imposter @ Pleasance, London - TICKETS

Over on our Patreon we reviewed Vietnam War epic The Deer Hunter, a film Michael had never seen until this week. In this preview we are discussing various actors who were offered the role of the phantom in the terrible 2004 Phantom of the Opera movie. To hear the full hour-long episode (you know, the actual review) and gain access to all of our exclusive content please head to our Patreon. Thanks!

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada.  After an interruption of services due to the Edinburgh Fringe, LDBW returns to the airwaves with a very nice episode. Sooz and Michael talk about Edinburgh, Dolly Parton, Tim Curry, a big night out in Reigate, life as pub quiz champions, and why it's not good for dogs to roll around in fox excrement. ALSO: a new, dog-focused edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News." Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes, like our recent Only Fools and Horses watch-along of the episode "Who's a Pretty Boy?" (Series 03, Episode 07).  *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp! SHOWS! September 3rd - Michael at Laugh Sabbath @ Comedy Bar (Bloor St), Toronto - TICKETS September 6th - Sooz at Sunday Cabaret @ Royal Vauxhall Tavern, London - TICKETS September 10th - Sooz at Stand Up for Gaza @ Old Queen's Head, Islington TICKETS   SOOZ KEMPNER - IMPOSTER - 2026 TOUR 3rd October Aberystwyth Comedy Festival TICKETS 9th October Oxford Old Fire Station TICKETS 15th October Hertford BEAM TICKETS 25th October Brighton Komedia TICKETS 4th November Pleasance London TICKETS 6th November Chelsmford Theatre TICKETS 7th November Cambridge Junction TICKETS 22nd November Cardiff Millennium Centre TICKETS 23rd November Bristol The Gaffe TICKETS 27th November Gravesend The Woodsville TICKETS 29th November Colchester Arts Centre TICKETS 5th December Newcastle Northern Stage TICKETS 6th December York Theatre@41 TICKETS 10th December Manchester Fairfield Social TICKETS

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada.  This week LDBW returns to a favourite subject, as Sooz educates Michael on Michael Jackson's 1988 "Moonwalker" film, and the subsequent 1990 video game "Michael Jackson's Moonwalker." What did Joe Pesci and Michael talk about on the Moonwalker set? Is the plot of the Moonwalker movie the daydream of a demented pervert? Do small children play a major role in both the Moonwalker movie and video game? Listen to find out! ALSO: a new edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News" that tackles the subject of ale vouchers head-on!  Be sure to subscribe to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for bonus audio and video episodes, like our recent Only Fools and Horses watch-along of the episode "Who's a Pretty Boy?" (Series 03, Episode 07).  *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS. Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza pals is full of funny jokes and silly ideas, and it's available on Bandcamp! SHOWS! See Sooz's new show "Imposter" at the Edinburgh Fringe, August 15-23 - TICKETS See Michael perform standup - All The Best - August 15 at Comedy Bar Bloor Street in Toronto - TICKETS

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. It's like something out of a Philip K. Dick novel.  This week Sooz introduces Michael to the classic British sitcom Only Fools and Horses, which ran from 1981-2003 over seven series and sixteen Christmas specials. What's the show about? Why do millions of people love it? Who is Del Boy? And were all of the episodes really written by just one man i.e. show creator John Sullivan? Listen to find out the answer to these questions and more! PLUS: sign up to the Long Distance, Bit Weird Patreon for our Only Fools and Horses watch-along of the episode "Who's a Pretty Boy?" (Series 03, Episode 07).  ALSO: a new edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News."  *** ANNOUNCEMENTS ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS - Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza Pals is available for on Bandcamp now! SHOWS! See Sooz's new show "Imposter" at the Edinburgh Fringe, August 15-23 - TICKETS Sooz - August 9th - IMPOSTER preview - 4pm @ Caroline of Brunswick, Brighton - TICKETS

We're watching a clip from Alley Cats, the new animated series where cats swear. This is just a preview of course. To hear the full hour-long episode (which includes discussions of the alleged decline of Mr Gervais and his work, along with some chat about Katie Price) and gain access to all of our exclusive content please head to our Patreon. Thanks!

Welcome to Long Distance, Bit Weird, a podcast from international comedy couple Sooz Kempner and Michael Balazo. One of them lives in the UK, the other in Canada. This week, in the run-up to an exciting British by-election, Sooz tells Michael about the satirical political figure known as Count Binface, the latest in a long line of British novelty candidates like Lord Buckethead and Screaming Lord Sutch. If you thought politicians were clowns before... well, just listen!!! ALSO: a new edition of the hit segment "Actual Customer Letters to Wetherspoon News." PLUS: Sooz describes an Instagram post! --- If you like what you hear, you can support Long Distance, Bit Weird on Patreon. Subscribers will get early access to episodes, bonus content and special surprises. In fact, you can watch several Travelodge episodes, along with the classic British animated films Watership Down and the bonkers Canadian documentary Project Grizzly in FULL right now with witty/sweary commentary from Sooz and Michael.  *** ANNOUNCEMENT ATTENTION: HUMOUR FANS - Michael Balazo's new, much-anticipated 3rd standup comedy album "Pizza Pals" is out NOW! Recorded in November of 2025, Pizza Pals is available for on Bandcamp now! SHOWS! See Sooz's new show "Imposter" at the Edinburgh Fringe, August 15-23 - TICKETS