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How do you begin to feel safe again when betrayal has shaken your trust, your relationship and your sense of self? In this episode, Jeremy Mast welcomes therapist, author and betrayal trauma specialist Mari Lee for a compassionate conversation about healing after infidelity, pornography addiction and sexual betrayal. Drawing on her personal experience and work with betrayed partners, Mari explores why checking, replaying conversations and constantly searching for reassurance can become part of the response to betrayal. She discusses the shame many partners carry, the impact of gaslighting and why being told to “just move on” can leave people feeling even more alone. Mari also guides listeners through a vivid imagery exercise and shares ways to approach recovery through mindfulness, self-compassion, supportive relationships and clearer boundaries. Whether you’ve experienced betrayal yourself, are supporting someone who has, or work with couples navigating recovery, this conversation offers understanding and hope. In this episode, we explore: Mari’s personal story and what led her to support betrayed partners. Understanding hypervigilance, intrusive thoughts and safety-seeking behaviors. Mindfulness and guided imagery as tools for grounding. Gaslighting, self-blame and the pressure to forgive before you’re ready. Why rebuilding trust involves consistent actions over time. Finding support that understands betrayal trauma. Reclaiming your needs, values, boundaries and personal agency. Making room for anger, grief and the future you thought you would have.   Connect with Mari Lee For counseling inquiries: [email protected] For therapist consultation, business coaching and book-writing support: [email protected]   Connect with Jeremy and the Center for Integrative Change Looking for support on your recovery journey? Visit CICFreeConsult.com to schedule a free consultation with a therapist or coach. If this conversation resonated with you, share it with someone who may need it and subscribe to The Compassionate Recovery Podcast. Recovery is hard work. You don’t have to do it alone.

Licensed therapist and The Compassionate Recovery host Jeremy Mast welcomes Spencer Posey, a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex addiction therapist, to discuss how Christian faith can shape recovery from porn and compulsive sexual behaviors and the impact on betrayed partners. They note faith can intensify shame and stigma, leading people to label themselves “addicted” even when patterns may not meet clinical criteria, and contrast this with the ICD-11 category of compulsive sexual behavior disorder. Spencer describes the church’s frequent use of labels like “moral failure” and how shame fuels the addiction cycle, while offering a scriptural reframe using Zechariah 3 and Mark 9 to emphasize God meeting people in brokenness rather than condemnation. They also connect shame reduction to improved relationship repair and encourage both struggling individuals and partners that they are not alone and that supportive resources and community can help.   00:00 Welcome to the Podcast 01:19 Meet Spencer Posey 03:30 Faith Shame and Porn 08:01 Shame Cycle Explained 10:00 Zechariah Reclothing Image 14:17 Addiction Labels and Language 19:56 Recovery Steps with Faith 29:56 Couples Trust Rebuilding 33:49 Betrayed Partners in Church 36:52 Advice for Men and Partners 42:53 Resources and Closing

Jeremy Mast introduces the Compassionate Recovery Podcast and interviews Detroit psychotherapist and author Dr. Ken Adams about enmeshment as a developmental trauma issue. Dr. Adams defines enmeshment as excessive emotional closeness and dependency where boundaries feel inconceivable, leading to submission and subjugation of self, anxious attachment, and a diminished sense of identity. He describes the internal experience as chronic guilt, misplaced loyalty, and anxiety that disrupt autonomy and relationships, often placing a romantic partner “in the back seat” to the family of origin. Dr. Adams distinguishes “divorcing” internal obligation contracts from “amputating” parents, emphasizing renegotiated family roles, reordered loyalties toward self and partner, and protecting “ritual space” for personal growth. He links enmeshment to sexual problems and sex addiction as an escape and misplaced rebellion.    00:00 Welcome to the Podcast 01:17 Meet Dr Ken Adams 02:08 New Book Announcement 03:39 What Is Enmeshment 06:10 Origins and Early Clues 08:38 Emotional Experience and Guilt 12:07 Divorcing the Internal Contract 14:32 Boundaries Beyond Distance 18:29 Partners and Loyalty Binds 24:30 Enmeshment and Sexual Acting Out 27:23 Resources for Adults and Parents 33:23 Renegotiating Loyalties 37:29 Protecting Ritual Space 41:50 Transparency Without Submission 43:39 Wrap Up and Next Steps 44:21 Final Outro   Links: Dr. Ken Adams: www.overcomingenmeshment.com Center for Integrative Change: www.CICFreeConsult.com

Licensed therapist and CSAT Jeremy Mast hosts Emily Delster, LMFT, CSAT, and Certified Financial Disorders Therapist, discussing her background from The Meadows to launching a Santa Monica private practice and beginning a PhD in performance psychology focused on healing trauma and addiction while sustaining excellence. Delster describes how high-achieving clients often avoid “rock bottom,” struggle with trust, intimacy, and power/control rooted in early powerlessness, and may use success and money to maintain an illusion of control. She explains sex and porn addiction as intimacy disorders driven by avoiding vulnerability, mistaking intensity for intimacy, and reinforcing shame through ritualized behaviors tied to trauma and dopamine. They highlight therapy as a reparative relationship, the need for relational skill-building, and early warning signs via feedback from loved ones or lack of close relationships. Delster outlines help options including CSAT assessment, ITAP directories, residential programs like Gentle Path, and 12-step groups, and defines financial disorders as disordered relationships with money including gambling, overspending, underearning, overworking, and financial abuse.   00:00 Welcome to the Podcast 01:20 Meet Emily Delster 02:22 Emily’s Origin Story 05:53 From Meadows to Malibu 08:15 Treating High Performers 11:06 Trust Intimacy Control 14:58 Therapy and Vulnerability 16:55 Intimacy Disorder Explained 19:33 Intensity Trauma Dopamine 23:27 No Rock Bottom Warning Signs 27:29 Modern Men and Intimacy 34:22 Getting Help and Treatment 37:56 Financial Disorders Overview 41:43 Connect and Closing   Links: Center for Integrative Change: www.centerforintegrativechange.com www.CICFreeConsult.com www.emilydelster.com

Licensed therapist Jeremy Mast welcomes Nice Guy Recovery Coach Michael Zick to discuss “nice guy syndrome” from Dr. Robert Glover’s No More Mr. Nice Guy, defining it as a male form of codependency marked by people-pleasing, self-abandonment, emotional disconnection, suppressed anger, and inauthenticity that harms relationships. Michael explains how childhood roles and limited emotional modeling lead men to repress feelings, with anger often emerging sideways through withdrawal, stonewalling, manipulation, or addictive and secretive behaviors like porn, sex and love addiction, cheating, or substances. They explore enmeshment with mothers (covert/emotional incest, “monogamy to mom”), guilt and obligation, the “loyalty bind,” and how unresolved anger gets displaced onto partners and family. Initial healing steps include awareness, emotional vocabulary (feeling wheel), responsibility over victimhood, identifying needs and boundaries, and consistent new actions; Michael shares resources at michaelzick.com and niceguyuniversity.com.   00:00 Podcast Welcome 01:19 Meet Michael Zick 02:33 What Is a Nice Guy 06:12 Emotional Suppression 09:18 No More Mr Nice Guy 11:57 Why Nice Guys Cheat 15:49 Enmeshment With Mom 22:09 Guilt Anger Spillover 25:34 Crisis Leads to Healing 27:01 Boundaries With Mom 28:25 Books That Help 29:16 Therapy And Enmeshment 30:19 Owning Your Part 32:49 First Steps Awareness 33:18 Body Tension And Beliefs 37:22 Feel The Full Range 40:18 Fear And Authenticity 43:45 Victim Mindset Trap 48:27 Agency Through Action 50:14 Addiction And Nice Guy Work 52:10 Where To Find Michael 53:23 Final Podcast Wrap

What if recovery wasn't about perfection—but about compassion? In this deeply personal solo episode of The Compassionate Recovery Podcast, licensed therapist and Center for Integrative Change founder Jeremy Mast opens up about his own journey with alcohol, shame, and healing. For the first time, Jeremy shares how his lived experience has shaped the compassionate, harm reduction approach he now brings to clients every day. From navigating perfectionism in college to quietly struggling with alcohol during seminary, Jeremy reflects on the emotional challenges that fueled his drinking and the transformative impact of working with a therapist who met him with curiosity instead of judgment. Rather than viewing addiction as a moral failure, Jeremy explores how compulsive behaviors often serve an important purpose—and why understanding that purpose is the first step toward meaningful change. Whether you're in recovery, questioning your relationship with alcohol or other compulsive behaviors, or you're a therapist looking for a more humane framework for treating addiction, this episode offers hope, honesty, and practical insight. In This Episode You'll Learn: Jeremy's personal story of alcohol use and recovery  How shame and perfectionism can fuel addictive behaviors  The role secrecy plays in maintaining addiction  Why compassionate therapy was a turning point in his healing  What harm reduction really means (and what it doesn't)  Why recovery isn't one-size-fits-all  How meeting people where they are creates lasting change  The importance of treating trauma, mental health, and addiction together  Why progress - not perfection - is the goal Key Takeaway Recovery doesn't have to begin with rock bottom. It begins with compassion. When we understand why we engage in compulsive behaviors instead of judging ourselves for them, lasting change becomes possible.   Connect with Jeremy Mast & The Center for Integrative Change If this episode resonated with you, please subscribe, leave a review, and share it with someone who could benefit from a more compassionate perspective on recovery. Learn more about Jeremy and his work at the Center for Integrative Change, where healing begins with understanding - not shame. LINKS MENTIONED: The Center For Integrative Change - https://www.centerforintegrativechange.com/   00:00 Show Welcome 01:28 Why My Story Matters 02:37 College Perfectionism Roots 06:38 First Drink Turning Point 08:48 Secret Drinking Escalates 10:09 Therapy And Enmeshment 13:25 Pornography And Shame 16:24 Career Struggles And Rock Bottom 19:06 Quitting Then Harm Reduction 21:20 Harm Reduction Explained 24:28 Core Principles And Change 31:02 Personalized Goals And Trauma 35:09 Wrap Up And Resources 36:15 Final Outro

Licensed therapist Jeremy Mast welcomes trauma therapist and former business coach John Clarke (clinical director of Calm Again Counseling, host of Going Inside, founder of Pathways to Self) to discuss Internal Family Systems (IFS). John explains IFS as a model where everyone has “parts” with positive intent, led by “Self” characterized by curiosity and compassion, and describes symptoms as arising when parts become polarized after trauma. They connect IFS to betrayal trauma and addiction recovery by emphasizing each partner “keeping their side of the street clean,” unblending from reactive protector parts, and building internal attachment so partners can offer resonance rather than fixing or withdrawing. They discuss how men often struggle with intense emotions due to shame and conditioning, the importance of validating without endorsing harmful behavior, maintaining boundaries and agency for betrayed partners, and applying client-centered care and harm-reduction principles in therapy.   00:00 Welcome to the Podcast 01:19 Meet John Clarke 02:34 Johns Work and Pathways 04:19 IFS Model Overview 09:01 Understanding Self 13:24 IFS for Betrayal Trauma 16:07 Validating Feelings and Attachment 22:07 Men Fixing and Emotional Safety 27:05 Therapist Agenda and Harm Reduction 34:59 Boundaries Choice and Validation 38:12 Connect with John 39:35 Final Wrap and Resources

Rebuilding trust doesn't begin with promises—it begins with truth.   When betrayal enters a relationship, the damage extends far beyond the discovery of unwanted behaviors. Whether the betrayal involves infidelity, pornography, sexual addiction, or prolonged deception, the deepest wound is often the loss of trust. Healing begins not when the secrets stop, but when honesty becomes the new foundation.   In a recent episode of The Compassionate Recovery Podcast, Jeremy Mast sat down with therapist, author, and betrayal recovery expert Dan Drake to explore one of the most important—and often misunderstood—steps in recovery: the disclosure process. Together, they unpacked why carefully guided disclosure isn't about punishment or confession. It's about creating a pathway toward genuine healing.

A Roadmap for Couples in Recovery After Betrayal (with Eric Anderson)   Jeremy Mast introduces The Compassionate Recovery Podcast and interviews therapist and CSAT supervisor Eric Anderson about early recovery tasks for couples facing sex/porn addiction, compulsive sexual behavior, or infidelity. They emphasize initial stabilization and safety after crisis, noting the betrayed partner’s disorientation and trauma-driven ambivalence and the betraying partner’s need for surrender, sobriety, empathy, rigorous honesty, and accountability. Both stress individualized treatment and the necessity of outside support systems beyond the couple. They discuss boundaries, self-care, and the reality that 100% safety can’t be guaranteed, urging partners to watch consistent behavior over words and to embrace vulnerability as part of rebuilding trust. Anderson explains the structured formal disclosure process - typically taking about two months - to level information, establish shared truth, and support later impact and restitution letters toward relational repair. LINKS MENTIONED: The Center For Integrative Change - https://www.centerforintegrativechange.com Book your FREE CIC Consultation -   http://www.cicfreeconsult.com Pathway Therapy Center - https://www.pathwaytherapycenter.com/   00:00 Podcast Welcome 01:20 Reuniting With Eric 04:01 Eric Anderson Intro 04:55 Couples In Crisis 06:13 Stabilization First 08:48 Addiction Versus Misuse 12:02 Safety And Support 15:32 Trauma Attachment Cycle 17:13 Early Recovery Tasks 19:32 Limits Of Safety 22:49 Trust Actions Not Words 24:16 Partner Vulnerability And Empowerment 26:01 Entering The Dark Forest 28:58 Rebuilding A New Marriage 30:07 Why Partners Face Sudden Trauma 31:55 Formal Disclosure Explained 36:32 Impact Restitution And The Why 41:20 Consistency Builds Trust 43:30 Facing The Shadow And Closing 44:30 How To Connect And Final Wrap

Jeremy Mast introduces The Compassionate Recovery Podcast and interviews Allison Hochman, LMFT, about ketamine-assisted psychotherapy (KAP) and why it can be relevant for betrayal trauma, infidelity recovery, and compulsive sexual behaviors. Allison explains that betrayed partners often experience trauma-like symptoms such as hypervigilance, checking behaviors, and thought looping, and that ketamine may help create a pause from default neural pathways and open a “choice point” that is reinforced through integration therapy. She notes research interest in ketamine for trauma symptoms and OCD-related compulsivity, and discusses screening and timing considerations, including stability, resourcing, and accountability for addicts (often later in recovery). They outline the KAP process at the Center for Integrative Change using lozenges via Journey Clinical, emphasizing safety, consent, medical screening, monitoring, chaperones, and integration sessions within 24 hours. ABOUT ALLISON HOCHMAN Alison Hochman, MS, LMFT, NATC, ASAT Candidate is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who specializes in helping individuals and couples heal from complex trauma, narcissistic abuse, coercive control, betrayal trauma, and relationship challenges. Using a trauma-informed, somatic, and relational approach, Alison creates a calm, compassionate space where clients can safely reconnect with themselves, rebuild trust, and create lasting change. She is trained in EMDR, Complex Trauma, Ketamine-Assisted Psychotherapy, and is a Certified Narcissistic Abuse Treatment Clinician (NATC), with advanced training in sex addiction and betrayal recovery. Alison is passionate about helping clients move beyond survival and rediscover a life of connection, resilience, and hope. LINKS MENTIONED: The Center for Integrative Change - https://www.centerforintegrativechange.com Journey Clinical (KAP) - https://www.youtube.com/@journeyclinical   00:00 Show Welcome and Mission 00:30 Meet Jeremy and the Practice 01:24 Introducing Allison and KAP 02:19 Why KAP for Betrayal and Addiction 04:32 Default Mode and Betrayal Trauma 08:22 When to Consider KAP 11:51 Stability and Screening First 13:47 What KAP Is and Is Not 15:40 Choice Points and Integration 20:26 Defenses Shame and Couples Work 23:43 What a KAP Session Looks Like 23:54 Lozenge KAP Intake 25:25 Consent And Safety 29:44 Dosing And Monitoring 31:05 Sobriety Concerns 35:48 Integration Sessions 38:26 Flexible Treatment Plan 41:34 Closing And Resources 42:59 Podcast Wrap Up

Licensed therapist Jeremy Mast interviews Roland Cochrun, founder of The Successful Addict, a sex addiction recovery group for high achievers that offers weekly meetings, daily accountability, and biannual four-day retreats. Roland explains he created the program after finding traditional 12-step groups often lacked consistent, like-minded peer connection, structure, and buy-in for executives and entrepreneurs, and argues that shared goals and feeling seen are key to deep connection. They discuss barriers men face with groups (shame, safety, format, faith aspects) and emphasize that peer support can be found outside 12-step through men’s groups, trusted friendships, and structured programs. Roland critiques using the SAST/SDI screening test alone to label someone a “sex addict,” distinguishing addiction from other problematic, and deceptive sexual behaviors. For more information, please visit https://www.centerforintegrativechange.com. To book a free consultation, please visit https://www.CICFreeConsult.com. Official Website of Roland Cochrun - http://www.successfuladdict.com

The conversation continues as Jeremy Mast welcomes back Jenean Cervantes for Part 2 of this important discussion on coercive control and its impact on relationships. In this episode, Jeremy and Jenean go deeper into the patterns, behaviors, and long-term effects of coercive control, exploring how manipulation can gradually undermine a person's confidence, independence, and sense of self.  They discuss why these dynamics can be so difficult to recognize from within the relationship, the emotional toll they take, and the challenges many survivors face when trying to leave or heal. Together, they offer compassionate insights into the recovery process, including rebuilding self-trust, establishing healthy boundaries, and finding support after experiencing emotional and psychological abuse. Whether you are navigating your own healing journey, supporting a loved one, or seeking a greater understanding of relationship dynamics, this episode provides valuable education, validation, and hope. Join Jeremy and Jenean for Part 2 as they continue shedding light on coercive control and the path toward recovery, empowerment, and healthier relationships. For more information, please visit https://www.centerforintegrativechange.com. To book a free consultation, please visit https://www.CICFreeConsult.com.

Not all abuse leaves visible scars. In this eye-opening episode of the Compassionate Recovery Podcast, host Jeremy Mast sits down with Jenean Cervantes to explore the often misunderstood and deeply damaging dynamics of coercive control in relationships. Coercive control can be subtle, gradual, and difficult to recognize, yet its impact can be profound. From manipulation and isolation to emotional intimidation and the erosion of personal autonomy, Jenean sheds light on the warning signs that many people overlook until they find themselves trapped in unhealthy relationship patterns. Together, Jeremy and Jenean discuss how coercive control affects mental health, self-worth, and recovery, while offering valuable insights for those seeking to better understand their own experiences or support someone they care about. Whether you're navigating a difficult relationship, healing from past emotional abuse, or simply wanting to learn more about healthy relationship dynamics, this conversation provides education, awareness, and hope. Tune in to discover how recognizing coercive control is often the first step toward reclaiming your voice, your boundaries, and your freedom. For more information, please visit https://www.centerforintegrativechange.com. To book a free consultation, please visit https://www.CICFreeConsult.com.

The conversation continues. In Part 2 of this powerful discussion, Jeremy Mast and Jorden Groenink take a deeper dive into the complex journey of healing after betrayal. While the pain of broken trust can feel overwhelming, recovery is possible—and it begins with understanding the choices that either support or sabotage the healing process. Together, they explore the emotional, relational, and personal challenges that often arise after betrayal, offering compassionate insights for those who are struggling to move forward.  From rebuilding trust and setting healthy boundaries to avoiding common pitfalls that can keep us stuck in resentment, fear, or shame, this episode provides practical wisdom and hope for anyone navigating the aftermath of a deeply painful experience. Whether you're working to heal yourself, repair a relationship, or support someone you care about, this conversation offers valuable guidance for finding clarity, resilience, and a path forward. Tune in for Part 2 and discover how healing becomes possible when compassion, honesty, and intentional recovery lead the way. For more information, please visit https://www.centerforintegrativechange.com. To book a free consultation, please visit https://www.CICFreeConsult.com.

Betrayal can leave deep emotional wounds, shaking our trust, relationships, and sense of self. In this powerful episode of the Compassionate Recovery Podcast, host Jeremy Mast sits down with Jorden Groenink to explore what to do (and what not to do) after experiencing betrayal. Together, they unpack the emotional aftermath of broken trust, common mistakes people make while trying to heal, and practical steps that can support genuine recovery.  Whether the betrayal came from a partner, family member, friend, or someone you deeply trusted, this conversation offers compassionate insights for navigating pain, rebuilding confidence, and moving forward with greater clarity and resilience. If you're struggling with the impact of betrayal or supporting someone who is, this episode provides hope, understanding, and actionable guidance for the healing journey. Listen now and discover how recovery begins when compassion leads the way.  For more information, please visit https://www.centerforintegrativechange.com. To book a free consultation, please visit https://www.CICFreeConsult.com.