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A chief officer is infuriated by the behavior of his egomaniacal CEO. With his coach, he explores how to be a healthy leader while reporting to a boss he doesn’t respect. Core concepts in this episode: Egomaniacs rattle our sense of self.They will not change.Worrying does not help.Be accountable for how you show up. Manage yourself.Don’t take anything personally. They’re just a piece on a chess board.Ask yourself: “Am I seeing this person clearly?” Don’t allow emotions to drive your actions.Ask yourself: “How do I want to show up?” You have choice about what you prioritize and how you react in the workplace. Resources mentioned in this episode: Crucial Conversations provides scripts and thoughts that will help you manage yourself when dealing with difficult people.  Tom and host Dave Stachowiak discussed “How to Handle a Boss Who’s a Jerk” on this episode of Coaching for Leaders. Great tools if you have a challenging boss. Before sharing your reactions in the workplace, consider the politics around you. These two episodes will get you “Leading with Political Savvy” Parts 1 and 2.   Each month, there are additional tools in our monthly email.  If you’d like to explore Private Coaching, reach out to Tom. [email protected]. This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library: Managing Yourself Leadership Perception – How You Perceive Others RELATED EPISODES 239- 5 Strategies for Dealing with Narcissists 189 - “Don’t Take Anything Personally” 245- Giving Upward Feedback 114- Gravitas 133- The Narcissist Executive Thank you, thank you, thank you for your reviews! Wishing you a year of growth and development!  From The Look & Sound of Leadership team, thank you so much for listening. 

A senior vice-president worries that attention on his people’s development will get overwhelmed in the volume of work. He asks his coach for tools to make the process effective and efficient.  Download our free tool that maps the Three Conversations Development Plan. Core Concepts  Prioritizing professional development is hard. The 3-Conversation model makes development easy for the leader and meaningful for the person. The three conversations in summary:  Define ‘what,’ ‘why’ and give homework;The person reflects on the homework and how they plan to improve;Periodic check-ins about the homework. ‘What are you learning?’ The leader’s role in these conversations:  Clarify the ‘what’ and ‘why’ Listen and encourageAsk, ‘What are you learning?’ You can sign-up for more resources and tools in our monthly email.  If you’re thinking about coaching for yourself, or for someone on your team, let’s talk. [email protected]. This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library: Feedback Leadership Management Skills RELATED EPISODES 132  Coaching Your People 212  How to Coach Your People 258  How to Manage Defensive People 83  Leadership and Listening 206  Understanding Feedback Thanks, as always, for your reviews! Happy holidays.  Until next time, thanks so much for listening. From The Look & Sound of Leadership team   

After a leader turns around the performance of one of his direct reports, he and his coach explore how it happened. And how to make it stick.   Core ideas in the episode: Workplaces improve when positive feedback is presentOur natural human negative bias is a barrier to giving positive feedback.Learn to notice when things go well.Tell people how they are helping solve the puzzle that is work.Research says the most effective feedback ratio is 4-to-1, positive to developmental. Positive Feedback might sound like this: Recognize what’s going well – and be specificAppreciate how it’s helping solve the puzzleExpress your thanks Developmental Feedback might sound like this: Describe what happened – and be specificExplain how it affects the puzzle solving effortExpress your hope for a different outcome You can Sign-up for more resources and tools in our monthly email.  If you’re thinking about coaching for yourself, or for someone on your team, let’s talk. [email protected]. This episode is tagged in three categories in our podcast library: Managing Yourself Perception – How You Perceive Others Relationship Building Related episodes to listen to are: 146 - Building Empathy 119 - Creating Devoted Followers 212 - How to Coach Your People 255 - How to Deepen Relationships at Work 260 - How to Guarantee Psychological Safety Thanks, as always, for your reviews! Until next time, thanks so much for listening. From The Look & Sound of Leadership team   

A toxic boss destroys psychological safety on her team. One of her direct reports talks to his coach about how to survive. And how to keep his own team safe.  Core ideas in the episode: Don’t take other people’s bad behavior personally.You are not a victim. You have choice.Document repeated bad behavior.Openly discussing mistakes without blame creates safety on a team.As the leader, be willing to admit your own mistakes.Ask people: “How do you think that went?” and “What could we do differently?” Then listen without debate or rebuttal. A free infographic supports this episode. Download it here.  The episode referred to about creating strong personal relationships is: #199 Personal Connections. Sign-up  for monthly resources and tools in our monthly email.  Curious about coaching for yourself or someone on your team? Let’s talk. [email protected]. COACHES! Want to see this year’s pricing survey results? Pop me an email at: [email protected]. And come join the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check it out here.   Get additional tools for keeping yourself and your team psychologically safe in our podcast library in these three categories: Assertiveness Leadership Managing Yourself Additional episodes to listen to are: 187 - Agreeable Disagreement 70 - Assertion Versus Aggression "75 - Don’t Take Anything Personally” 222- The Conflict Conversation 181 - Inviting Dialogue Your reviews help the show stay ad-free.  Until next time, thanks! From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

Concerned his introversion makes him less effective, a corporate vice president asks for coaching – from an extrovert! Together, the coach and client explore ways to assure his introversion is a strength. Myers Briggs Type Indicator assesses four preferences. One is Introversion and Extroversion. Download a free sample of the profile report here.      The six tools unpacked in this episode are: Manage your energyMonitor your self-talkHave ideas readyManage your calendarShare comfortably about yourselfDevelop both your thoughts and your skills Listen to Tom’s conversation with Tom & Tom on the Beyond Podcast episode. Learn “How to Make Small Talk with Executives” on the Coaching for Leaders podcast. Curious about coaching? Shoot me an email. [email protected]. Visiting the website? Sign-up for tools and resources in our monthly email.  Help yourself to our free infographics in the Essential Tools bin. Get more support for supercharging your introversion in our podcast library in these three categories: Managing YourselfSelf-TalkSocial Skills Additional episodes you could listen to are: 241 - Conquering People Pleasing 210 - How to Grow Your Self-Management 211 - How to Show Up as More of Yourself 254 - How to Talk so People Understand You 247 - Mastering Anxiety Your reviews help the show stay ad-free.  So? Were these tools about introversion helpful? Let me know! Until next time, thanks! From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

A leader with a direct report who is, she says, the most defensive person she’s ever known, devotes an entire coaching session to gathering tools to help her cope.  All the tools and ideas and scripts in this episode are in an easy-to-understand infographic. Download it for free here.  To work on “deserving” dive into The Four Agreements. Dig into more tools for managing defensive people in our podcast library in these three categories: Communication Skills Management Skills Relationship Building Additional episodes you could listen to are: 216 - 7 Steps to Stop Emotional Hijacks 60 - Be Impeccable with Your Word  35 - Handling Defensive Behaviors 173 - Managing Bad Behavior 138 - Managing Disruptive Executives 198 - Psychological Safety Additional tools and resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here. Curious about coaching? Shoot me an email. [email protected]. All our free infographics are in the Essential Tools bin. Your reviews help the show continue as an ad-free podcast.  Let us know how we can support you. Until next time, thanks! From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

Still traumatized over an angry explosion she’d aimed at an abusive leader years before, a leader asks her coach to help her access healthy assertion to use during moments of conflict. Where are you on the assertion scale? Our assessments will tell you. In the episode, ASSERTION got divided into two skills:  AWARENESS and EXPRESSION. The four-step script to build healthy ASSERTION is: SituationFeelingWantOutcome Part of assertion is EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE.  Our tool defines EQ and gives exercises. Download it here. “Unlocking Executive Presence Through Emotional Intelligence” Episode 232. The concept explained and tools provided. Download “The Feeling Word Grid” here. Ready for an amazing growth experience? Explore Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead course. Often recommended. Always helpful. Crucial Conversations. More tools in the ASSERTIVENESS category in the archive. Episodes with assertiveness tools:  220 - Holding Boundaries 219 - How to Set Boundaries 210 - How to Grow Your Self-Management 86 - Intimacy in Business: Setting Boundaries 198 - Psychological Safety Considering coaching? Talk with Tom. Send him an email here.   Additional resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here. Until next time! Thanks! from The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

Convinced that participants need to engage in order to learn, a leader is discouraged after the cheerless rollout of her online learning program. She turns to her coach for help facilitating virtual groups. Tools in this episode: Tone-setting at the opening: Get people engaged by using the chat to think together;Get people engaged by thinking about how they will show up (ground rules);Ask: “How engaged do you want to be?” Rank 1 – 7 in chat. (#3 came from Michael Bungay Stanier who wrote The Coaching Habit and hosts the Change Signal podcast. Much gratitude!) Three facilitation skills: Use learning questions;Redirect; don’t be the hub;Activate your deadpan. All our infographics are available for free in our Tools Bin. Help yourself.  Tom’s most recent conversation with Dave Stachowiak on Coaching for Leaders explored How to Take Initiative. A lively, thought-provoking episode. Coaches! Join us at ICF Los Angeles’s Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website, then come join us! Categories in the archive to explore for more ideas about deepening relationships: Communication Skills Leading Teams Episodes with more tools for engagement: 141 - High-Stakes Meetings 253 - How to Answer Questions Powerfully 213 - How to Re-engage a Team 34 - Keeping Repeated Material Fresh 175 - Leading Offsites 143 - Powerful Tools for Team: Plus / Delta 148 - Taming Meetings Are you coach curious? Talk with Tom. Send him an email here.   Additional resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here. Until next time! From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

Knowing she’s never been good with people, a leader seeks coaching to her deepen relationships in ways she can tolerate. Two ways to deepen workplace relationships: Matching & Curiosity 4 Ways to Match: Match Purpose Match Energy Match Conversations Match Vulnerability  Express Curiosity by Asking Deep Questions Make sure your questions are open-endedInvite reflectionKeep the other person talking Answering questions powerfully is another way to deepen relationships. Check out our recent episode on that topic. Deepen relationships at work by listening to Dave Stachowiak’s conversation on Coaching For Leaders with Charles Duhigg about his book Supercommunicators: How to Unlock the Secret Language of Connection.  Recently, Tom joined Dave on Coaching for Leaders to explore How to Take Initiative. A lively, thought-provoking episode. Coaches! Join us at ICF Los Angeles’s Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website.  Categories in the archive to explore for more ideas about deepening relationships: Communication Skills Building Relationships Managing Yourself Five episodes that’ll help you get deeper: Building Empathy Building Listening Building Rapport Influence The Conflict Conversation Are you ready to invest in yourself? We offer listeners world-class coaching at an affordable price. Reach out to Tom here. Transcripts of every episode, including this one, are available for free here.  More resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here. Until next time! From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

A leader is losing credibility with her senior leaders. Her boss thinks she can turn it around by learning the sorting tool that transformed him as a communicator, so he brings in the coach who taught him. Sorting & Labeling! The grandaddy of all communication tools. If you can sort and label you will sound like a leader. The four steps in Sorting & Labeling: Use a headlineUse a numberLabel each numberTransition with clarity See it all for yourself in our free Sorting & Labeling infographic. To all women who work in social or environmental change: Women’s Impact Alliance wants to support you. Check out their website to see all they ways they can help you succeed. Coaches! Come join our Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. Check us out on the ICF-LA website.  Categories of episodes that have more ways to help you talk so people understand you: Communication Skills Leading Teams Presentation Skills Five episodes that’ll speed you down the path: 106 - Communicating with Clarity 253 - How to Answer Questions Powerfully 65 - Sorting & Labeling 16 - Sounding Well-Spoken 20 - Staying on Track Curious about coaching for yourself? We offer a special program for listeners. Reach out to Tom here.   Transcripts of this and every episode are available for free here.  More resources are in our monthly email. Sign up here! Until next time! From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

A leader was given one goal for his coaching: improve how he answered questions. Knowing he struggled with this not only at work, but at home, he asked his coach for tools.  Our free PDF shows the two scripts: one for closed-ended questions, one for open-ended. Download it here. Don’t assume you know why people ask what they ask. You don’t. Ever.      The closed-ended script: Answer what’s askedMatch LengthCheck for understandingThen add your detailsNo mattress stuffing! It’s a customer service exchange. The open-ended script: Start with a number Label the first itemExplain in briefMake the leap. Start with a number. It’ll be okay. When you know things, use this script. You will sound expert. The open-ended script is a variation of the Sorting & Labeling tool. Download the PDF and listen to the episode. CALLING ALL COACHES! Come join ICF-LA’s Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We’d love to see you. Check us out here. Related categories in the library: Communication Skills Leadership Perception – How Others Perceive You Five related episodes: 215 - How to Stay Calm Under Fire 249 - How to Tackle Overtalking 159 - Short Sounds Confident 185 - The Talky Executive 151 - Under Executive Questioning Have ideas about how “The Look & Sound of Leadership” might grow and evolve? Share your ideas with Tom here. Transcripts of this and every episode are available for free here.  Our monthly email, with resources you don’t hear about on the show. Subscribe here! Wishing you spring freshness,  From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

A leader suddenly hears how harshly she speaks to herself. Wanting help, she turns to her coach who gives her tools to build a practice of self-esteem.      The three self-esteem practices are: Self-Acceptance: Practice being FOR yourselfSelf-Worth & Happiness: Practice saying, “I am worthy of being happy”Live in Reality: Practice acknowledging what is and what is not. Download our free Feeling Words Grid. The Tools bin with other free resources is here. Four ways to help you live in reality: Respect factsRespect facts about yourselfInterpretations are not factsFeelings are not facts Nathaniel Branden’s “The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem” is still a definitive work. Check out the 31-week sentence completion exercise in the back. Related categories in the library: Managing Yourself   Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Self-Talk Five related episodes: 241 - Conquering People Pleasing 209 - How to Build Self-Awareness 224 - How to Disarm a Trigger 242 - Mastering Nerves 231 - Staying Afloat in a Shitstorm Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.   Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.  Our monthly email – finally easy to subscribe to! Click here! CALLING ALL COACHES! Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We meet six times a year. Our first meeting in 2025 is Friday, February 14th, 9:00 am Pacific. 2025 Meeting Dates February 14 April 11 June 13 August 8 September 12  November 14 Fridays, 9:00 – 10:30am Pacific Sponsored by ICF-LA Stay safe, everyone. From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

A coaching client wonders what elements need to be present for someone to appear ‘executive.’ Two executive coaches ponder this question and come up with five elements they deem essential. Categories in the archive to explore: Developing New Behaviors Executive Presence Perception – How You’re Perceived Six episodes to dive into: 189 - Don’t Take Anything Personally 178 - Executive Presence – Three Pillars 168 - Influence 108 - Shouldering the Burden of Leadership 23 - Speed of Thought Download the Six Books for Growth here. Listen to “The Show Must Go On” episode, about a real-life on-stage catastrophe. Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.   Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.  More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. FOR COACHES: Michael Lewis’s podcast, “Against the Rules,” devotes its second season (2020) to all different types of coaching.  Join us at the Executive Coaching Special Interest Group. We meet six times a year. Our first meeting in 2025 is Friday, February 14th, 9:00 am Pacific. 2025 Meeting Dates Fridays, 9:00 – 10:30am Pacific February 14 April 11 June 13 August 8 September 12  November 14 Sponsored by ICF-LA Wishing us all compassion and grace in 2025. From The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

A senior leader, upset about having flubbed her reply to ‘Tell us about yourself’ during a high-stakes interview, talks with her coach about how to prepare for what she considers to be an incredibly stupid question.  Categories in the archive to explore: Communication Skills Executive Presence Presentation Skills Six episodes to dive into: 34 - Keeping Repeated Materials Fresh 77 - The Power of Rehearsal 65 - Sorting & Labeling 180 - Becoming Expert 114 - Gravitas 124 - Personal Branding For help Sorting & Labeling, download the PDF. For help finding your three words, use our Needs & Values assessment. For a new way of thinking about interviewing: Interviewology, The New Science of Interviewing.” For career guidance, Michele Calderigi, head of Next Career, is a seasoned counselor. Lois Frankel’s Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office remains a favorite among senior women in the workplace. Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.   Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.  More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. Safe and sane holidays, everyone! from The Look & Sound of Leadership team 

A chief officer had known for years he was an over talker. His CEO, desperate for improvement, gave him a coach. This episode highlights their first coaching conversation.  Two mindsets from this episode: When you speak, have a destination in mind. Ask yourself: “What is my point exactly?” and “Why is this something they need to know?” Pay attention to your listeners. Respond to their interests.Ask yourself: “Does what I’m talking about right now help us get to the destination?” If not, skip it. It doesn’t matter why you overtalk. Overtalking is limiting. Build your awareness of when you do it. Learn to ‘hear’ the communications you have. Who talked how long?  What were the smaller conversations within the larger communication? More tools to build your self-awareness and communication skills can be found in the Essential Communications bin and in the archive of all 16 years of the show. Build awareness browsing these categories: Self-Management Perception – How You Perceive Yourself Develop your communication skills in this category: Communication Skills Five Episodes to help your skills are: 53 - Answer What’s Asked 65 - Sorting & Labeling 20 - Staying on Track 11 - Sounding Executive 16 - Sounding Well-Spoken “Think Fast Talk Smart” podcast with Matt Abrahams. Great tools to help you be a better communicator. Curious about coaching? Reach out to Tom here.   Free transcripts of this and every episode are available here.  More resources are available in our monthly Essential News email. Sign up here. Coaches! Download the results of ICF-LA’s pricing survey here. Be safe, everyone!  The Look & Sound of Leadership team