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This is the handbook you never got. Whether you were diagnosed last week or decades ago, or you're still in that process of figuring it out, if you've ever felt like everyone else got instructions and you didn't, you're in the right place. Every episode we're going to dig into something concrete and practical. Things like how to actually understand and cope with your emotions, communication strategies that work for a brain like yours, tools for planning and organizing your day, and how to navigate change without it completely derailing you. The kind of stuff that makes daily life feel a little more manageable and a little less like you're just figuring it out as you go. My goal is simple. I want you to leave every episode with something you can actually use. Not just something to think about. Something to do. I created this podcast because I kept seeing the same thing over and over in my practice. People coming to me who were smart, self-aware, and had already done so much work on themselves. They knew their patterns. They understood their struggles. What they were missing was someone handing them the actual tools. And I thought, I can make that accessible to more people than just the ones sitting across from me in a session. At the end of the day the goal of the podcast is making sure you know you're not the only one who didn't get the handbook. And that it's not too late to get one.

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Check latest episodes from The Autism Handbook podcast

What Halloween Gets Right (and Wrong) About Masking

2026/10/28

Ever thought about the fact that Halloween is the one night a year everyone else voluntarily puts on a mask, just for fun? In this episode, I'm breaking down what a costume actually has in common with autistic masking, what's completely different, and how to get through the holiday itself without it costing you everything. I'm walking through the real parallels between a costume and a mask, why the differences matter so much more, and practical ways to handle the sensory side of Halloween, whether you're trick or treating, handing out candy, or taking a kid around the neighborhood. In this episode: What a Halloween costume and autistic masking actually have in common, and why both take real effort to build and holdThe differences that matter most: a costume is chosen and temporary, masking usually isn't either of those thingsWhy taking off a mask isn't always the instant relief that taking off a costume is, especially if you're just starting to unmaskPractical ways to handle the sensory demands of Halloween itself, from costume fabric to candy bowl duty to trick or treatingResources mentioned: Follow on InstagramLearn more about therapy and assessments

Disclosing Your Autism Diagnosis and Handling Rejection

2026/10/21

Ever wondered whether telling someone about your diagnosis is an all or nothing decision? In this episode, I'm breaking down the different degrees of disclosure and what to do when someone doesn't respond the way you hoped. I'm walking through the varying degrees of disclosure, from telling no one to telling everyone, how to decide who actually gets to know, and what a dismissive reaction says about the person giving it instead of about you. In this episode: Why disclosure isn't one big yes or no, and the five degrees it actually comes inHow to decide who to tell, starting with what you're hoping to get from them and whether they can realistically give itWhat to do when the reaction is dismissive, and why that says more about their education than your experienceWhy you're never locked into a choice, and can change your mind about who knows and whenResources mentioned: Follow on InstagramLearn more about therapy and assessments

What is Time Blindness? and What Actually Helps

2026/10/14

Ever looked up and realized two hours disappeared, or dreaded a task for a week and then finished it in five minutes? In this episode, I'm breaking down time blindness, what it actually is, why it happens, and the tools that make the biggest difference. I'm walking through why time can feel like just “now” and “not now,” what's actually happening with executive function underneath it, and six tools I use most with clients, including one of my favorites involving a stopwatch and a dishwasher. In this episode: What time blindness actually is, and why it shows up as both chronic lateness and chronic earlinessWhy it happens: executive function, task initiation, dread, and hyperfocus all playing a partSix tools that help, including timing everyday tasks, visual timers, layered alarms, buffer time, working backward from a deadline, and body doublingWhy the fix isn't trying harder, it's moving the clock outside your headResources mentioned: Follow on InstagramLearn more about therapy and assessments

Shutdown and Autistic Burnout, Are They The Same Thing?

2026/10/07

Ever gone quiet for the whole evening and had no idea why, or watched someone you love go still and assumed the worst? In this episode, I'm breaking down what shutdown actually is, why it happens, and how it connects directly to autistic burnout. I'm walking through what shutdown looks like from the inside, how it's different from a meltdown, why it happens when your nervous system hits capacity, and what actually helps during and after one. In this episode: What shutdown actually is, and why it can look like going quiet, losing words, or staring at nothing for a whileHow shutdown differs from a meltdown, and why the same person can experience both depending on the dayWhy shutdown happens, and how it connects to autistic burnout, the short version and the long version of the same storyWhat actually helps: reducing sensory and social demands, letting yourself stim and rest, and catching your early warning signsResources mentioned: Follow on InstagramLearn more about therapy and assessments

Unmasking Your Autism, What It Actually Looks Like in Real Life

2026/09/30

Ever been told to "just be your authentic self" and wondered what that even means when you're not sure what's underneath anymore? In this episode, I'm breaking down what unmasking actually looks like in real life, and why it's a lot less dramatic than the internet makes it sound. I'm walking through the small everyday choices that make up unmasking, why the mask can drop all at once after a diagnosis, and how to start noticing what's underneath without forcing anything. In this episode: What unmasking really looks like day to day: skipping forced eye contact, bringing a fidget to work, wearing ear plugs at a loud family dinnerWhy the mask can fall off all at once after a diagnosis, and what skill regression can look like when your autopilot disappearsWhy baby steps are the sustainable version, and why it isn't safe for everyone to unmask everywhereA simple place to start if you don't know what's underneath: noticing where you force yourself after a social situation Resources mentioned: Follow on InstagramLearn more about therapy and assessments

What to Say to a Partner or Friend After You Get Diagnosed as Autistic

2026/09/23

Ever finally found the words for something you've carried for years, and then frozen when it came time to tell someone? In this episode, I'm breaking down what to say to a partner or a friend after you get diagnosed, and how to have that conversation without over-explaining your entire life. I'm walking through why this conversation feels so high stakes, how to approach a partner versus a friend, and what to remember if someone doesn't react the way you hoped. In this episode: Why telling someone feels so much bigger than it should, from the fear of being rewritten as broken to the pressure of breaking an unspoken contract as the low maintenance oneHow to tell a partner: picking your moment, connecting the diagnosis to things they've already seen, and giving them a specific job instead of just asking for understandingHow to tell a friend, including how much backstory to share and why you don't owe anyone your whole history in one sittingWhat to do if it doesn't go well, and why one person's reaction is never a vote on whether you're autistic Resources mentioned: Follow on InstagramLearn more about therapy and assessments

Workplace Accommodations That Actually Help Autistic Folks

2026/09/16

Ever known something at work is harder for you than it needs to be, and talked yourself out of asking for a change anyway? In this episode, I'm breaking down what workplace accommodations actually look like, and how to ask for them without it turning into a whole ordeal. I'm walking through what actually counts as an accommodation, why asking feels so loaded when you've spent years masking, real examples that make a difference, and language you can use whether or not you're ready to disclose anything at all. In this episode: What actually counts as an accommodation, and why most of them don't require a diagnosis, HR, or a formal processWhy asking feels so hard when you've built your whole skill set around blending inReal accommodations that help: sensory, communication, workload, and social changes that actually move the needleHow to ask, with actual scripts, plus what to do if you're not ready to disclose or if you get pushback Resources mentioned: Follow on InstagramLearn more about therapy and assessments

The Misdiagnosis Pipeline: Are You Anxious, Depressed, or Autistic?

2026/09/09

Ever been in therapy for years, doing everything right, and it still doesn't quite land? In this episode, I'm breaking down why anxiety, depression, or BPD so often gets named before autism ever does, and what that actually costs someone by the time they get the real answer. I'm walking through why high-masking autism doesn't look like what most clinicians were trained to spot, why BPD in particular gets misapplied so often, and what it means for you if any of this sounds familiar. In this episode: Why anxiety and depression get named first, and why treating them as the whole picture leaves people managing symptoms without ever finding the sourceWhy BPD gets misdiagnosed so often, and what's actually happening underneath things like rejection sensitivity, meltdowns, and shutdownsWhy clinicians miss it: outdated training, masking, and diagnostic tools that were never built with adults in mindWhat it actually costs to spend years being treated for the wrong thing, and what actually helps once you're looking at the full picture Resources mentioned: Follow on InstagramLearn more about therapy and assessments

The 0% at home problem — giving everything at work and having nothing left

2026/09/02

Ever give everything you have at work and have nothing left the second you walk in the door? In this episode, I'm breaking down why the “0%” feeling isn't laziness, and what's actually driving it. I'm walking through why work costs high-masking autistic adults so much more than the job itself, why that cost is invisible to everyone around you, and what actually helps once you're running on empty. In this episode: What the 0% actually looks like, and why work drains high-masking autistic adults more than the job itselfWhy the exhaustion is invisible from the outside, and why that makes it look like lazinessWhy “just push through it” backfires and leads to full autistic burnoutWhat actually helps: acknowledging it, building in recovery time, lowering the bar at home, and adapting your day-to-day Resources mentioned: Follow on Instagram Learn more about therapy and assessments

What an Adult Autism Assessment Actually Looks Like

2026/08/26

Wondering what actually happens in an autism assessment? In this episode, I'm walking through exactly what the process looks like with me, from the first consult call to the final report. I use an interview-based approach instead of leading with observation, because for high-masking clients, observation alone tends to miss what's actually going on underneath. In this episode: Why I don't lead with observation-based tools like the ADOS for high-masking clientsWhat happens before the interview: the consult call and the self-report measuresWhat the 90-minute interview actually covers, area by areaWhat to expect emotionally during the interviewWhat happens after: the follow-up session, your diagnosis, and your report Resources mentioned: Follow on InstagramLearn more about therapy and assessments

Autistic Burnout Isn't Just Being Tired

2026/08/19

Autistic burnout isn't just being tired. In this episode, I'm breaking down what autistic burnout actually is, how it's different from everyday burnout, and the seven things that tend to cause it. It's a specific kind of exhaustion that builds up slowly, often from a handful of causes stacking on top of each other, until it finally catches up with you. In this episode: What autistic burnout actually is, and the six signs that tend to show up togetherHow autistic burnout is different from regular work or life burnoutThe seven most common causes I see in my practiceA real, identity-protected example of how these causes stack up without anyone noticingOne simple weekly check-in you can start using to catch burnout before it becomes a shutdown Resources mentioned: Free worksheet: Identifying Your Autistic Burnout CausesFollow on InstagramLearn more about therapy and assessments

Routines vs. Rhythms: Why Your Routine Keeps Falling Apart

2026/08/12

If you've ever built a routine, stuck to it for a while, and then abandoned it the moment something went wrong, this episode is for you. In this episode Dr. Salena Justice introduces the concept of rhythms versus routines and why the shift in thinking can completely change your relationship with structure. Adapted from the work of Dr. Tay, a psychologist specializing in autistic kids, this framework has been really impactful with adult clients too. In this episode: Why structure and predictability are genuinely regulating for autistic brainsWhy rigid routines often fail, and why that's not a personal failingThe all or nothing thought pattern that causes routines to collapseWhat a rhythm actually is and how it differs from a routineA real life workday example of a rigid routine vs a rhythmWhat anchors are and how to identify yoursHow to build a rhythm that can survive real life interruptionsYour takeaway: how to start building a rhythm this week Resources: Dr. Tay - psychologist specializing in autistic kidsFollow on Instagram: @dr.salenajusticeLearn more about therapy and assessments

What Is Masking, Anyways?

2026/08/05

If you've heard the word masking but aren't totally sure what it looks like in your own life, this episode is for you. In this episode Dr. Salena Justice breaks down autistic masking, what it actually is, why it happens, and what it looks like across every area of daily life. It also includes an honest conversation about why unmasking isn't always the goal and why that nuance matters. In this episode: What autistic camouflaging actually is and why it's more than just maskingThe three components of camouflaging: compensation, assimilation, and maskingWhy masking is a survival strategy, not a choice, and why it often develops without anyone realizing itThe social chameleon experience and how autistic assimilation goes beyond a typical work personaWhy unmasking isn't always safe or realistic, especially for people of color and marginalized communitiesWhat masking looks like in social situations, your body, your emotions, at work, and in relationshipsWhy years of masking can leave you genuinely unsure of who you actually areYour action step: how to start noticing your masking without judgment Resources: Free worksheet: Identifying How You Mask Your Autistic TraitsFollow on Instagram: @dr.salenajusticeLearn more about therapy and assessments

How to ACTUALLY Manage Your Energy

2026/07/29

Have you ever had a day where you did nothing and still felt completely exhausted? There's actually a really good explanation for that. In this episode I break down energy accounting, one of the frameworks I come back to constantly in my work with autistic adults. Once you understand it, you start to see your energy in a completely different way. Credit to Dr. Megan Anna Neff whose work on this concept has been incredibly influential. In this episode: What energy accounting actually is and why the phone battery analogy worksWhat drains the battery, work, socializing, masking, sensory environments, unexpected changes, and emotional laborWhat charges the battery and why it's more personal than people thinkWhy some things do both and how to get specific about which is which for youThe most important thing nobody talks about, why you need a little battery left to rechargeYour takeaway, how to start mapping your own energy this week Resources mentioned: Dr. Megan Anna Neff, autistic burnout and energy resources Follow on InstagramLearn more about therapy and assessments

What Is Autism, Really?

2026/07/29

When most people hear the word autism they picture something pretty specific. Usually a young boy. Usually someone with very obvious social difficulties. That's one presentation. But it's a really narrow slice of what autism actually looks like, and it's the reason so many adults go completely undetected for decades. In this episode I go through the DSM criteria for autism one by one, but not in a textbook way. In a real life, this is what it actually looks like in the adults I work with every day kind of way. In this episode: The official DSM definition in plain languageDeficits in social emotional reciprocity, what this looks like beyond "not making eye contact"Nonverbal communication differences and why compensatory strategies hide themThe truth about relationships, friendships, and the unspoken rules nobody explainedStimming in adults, the subtle version most people don't recognizeInsistence on sameness, rigid routines, and black and white thinkingSpecial interests in women and why they often look socially acceptableSensory differences, hyper and hypo reactivity in everyday lifeWhy autism gets missed in adults, especially women and high masking folks Resources mentioned: Follow on InstagramLearn more about therapy and assessments

Podcast reviews

Read The Autism Handbook podcast reviews

5 out of 5

6 reviews

★★★★★

MoffatK 2026/09/03

Validating and helpful!

Just listened to the episode about burnout and I already feel so seen and validated. The statement that a lot of people don’t know they have autism un...

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