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A lot of us didn’t get what we needed as kids, so we adapted—squeezed ourselves into shapes that kept us safe. As adults, our nervous systems still remember those shapes. This episode is about our inner child: the part that wants to play and create, but also freaks out when life feels unsafe. Carrie shares how ACA and parts work (IFS) helped her begin reparenting herself; Emily talks survival mode, productivity, and why singing felt like safety. We get into grief-in-autumn vibes, the self-soothing we never learned, and—because it’s us—a strangely perfect detour into inner ears and earwax: inner child, inner ear—chef’s kiss. _____________________________________________________ References: ACA - Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families - 12-Step Support & Recovery Group - for anyone who, because of people or circumstances in their childhoods, had to adapt in painful, unhelpful, or unhealthy ways to survive—whether physically, emotionally, mentally, or spiritually IFS - Internal Family Systems - also known as “parts work” - a psychotherapy tool developed by Richard C. Schwartz that views that the mind as a collection of relatively separate subpersonalities or parts, each with its own unique viewpoint and qualities “Ball of Wax” - english idiom meaning “everything” or “all of it” TIMECODES:0:00 - Intro0:49 - Grief3:24 - Inner Child work10:39 - Often, our parents didn’t have enough tools to give us what we needed12:35 - Hiding from healing in the church18:54 - We were trained that if we were okay, we were doing something wrong21:59 - We weren’t taught how to self-soothe24:32 - When the Inner Child calls b******t/earning back our Inner Child’s trust27:14 - Getting healing for US is the best gift we could give our kids28:48 - Our Inner Child is the seat of our creativity34:39 - Trauma lands hard as a child35:28 - The Earwax Discussion

Carrie tried smoking grass at 14. It's not what you think. It didn't go well. Today, we’re doing something a little different: Carrie is sharing a finished thing—a non-fiction short story she wrote called “The Inside Girl.” It’s about growing up in a bubble, longing to be inside of culture, and the day teenage curiosity met cattail fluff and…fire. It’s a story she needed to write to make sense of her longing to belong. _____________________________________________________________ Where to find Carrie: Read “The Inside Girl” on Substack Substack: carriekingpresents.substack.com Instagram: @carriekingpresents YouTube: @carriekingpresents

This week on the show, we talk about play and rest and how they’re kind of important parts to our creative practice. We talk about giving our minds a rest and letting our bodies take the wheel by choosing low-stakes experiments (waste the page) to loosen perfectionism. On the rest side, we talk about what it is (choice) and isn’t (doomscrolling). We’re getting a little rebellious with this one—and perhaps even a tad wasteful *gasp*! References: Utah Shakespeare Festival - annual summer/fall theatre festival in Cedar City, UT Into the Woods - 2014 Disney adaptation of the 1986 musical Into the Woods starring Meryl Streep and a bunch of other famous people “Stay with Me” - song from the 2014 Disney adaptation of the 1986 musical Into the Woods written by Stephen Sondheim and James Lapine Heartburn - novel by Nora Ephron, narrated by Meryl StreepTom Lake - novel by Ann Patchett, narrated by Meryl Streep“Aqueous Transmission” - song by Incubus“Get Ur Freak On” - song by Missy ElliottThe Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - novel by Douglas AdamsThe Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron TIMECODES0:00 - Intro2:04 - Get your “frisson”8:15 - Dance as play12:16 - Resistance to play18:13 - When did we stop playing?29:49 - Rest is radical

In this Rewind & Reset episode, we look back at Quarter 3—Carrie stepping into her writing and performance dreams, and Emily navigating grief while still creating music and finding her footing. We talk about what it means to stop playing small, to honor our own timing, and to carry those lessons forward into Quarter 4 with gentleness, courage, and creativity. References: Carrie’s Substack - Read & SUBSCRIBE here Carrie’s “Girl on the Mountain” Substack post - (It’s actually called “The Audacity of Wanting”) TIMECODES0:00 - Intro2:13 - “Dead dad couture” 3:05 - “Drawers”5:10 - English is an a*****e language7:04 - The world’s greatest joke7:54 - Clothing on animals…we die.13:45 - How Carrie’s Q3 goals went19:40 - What’s ahead for Carrie in Q423:19 - Emily’s Q3/Q4 goals

NOTE: This is part 2 of our two-part series talking with Singer/Songwriter Melissa V. Cartwright. If you haven’t already, go back and listen to part 1 and then come back here for part 2. In this follow-up conversation with Melissa V. Cartwright, we continue unpacking the process of spiritual deconstruction—especially how it reshapes the way we create. We talk about what happens when the certainty we once clung to dissolves, and how grief, disorientation, and memory show up in our art. From “cry nights” and purity culture to unexpected dreams and desert metaphors, we explore the tension between old beliefs and creative freedom. Ultimately, we ask: what if not knowing is a perfectly good reason to make something? Melissa’s Bio:Singer, Songwriter, and Bilingual Voice and Performance Coach Melissa V. Cartwright is the founder of MVC Performance and the host of Passionate Performer PODCAST (in fact, Emily was a guest on her show—and we’ve the episode below). With over 25 years of experience in TV, radio, studio work, and musical theatre, she helps artists step on stage with confidence—whether it’s their very first open mic or a headlining show.  Where to find Melissa: Website: www.mvcperformance.comInstagram: @mvcperformanceTikTok: @mvcperformancePassionate Performer Podcast: on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube References: Emily’s episode on the Passionate Performer Podcast, aired 6/25/25“Shiny, Happy People”, Season 2: A Teenage Holy War - TV series on Amazon Prime Faith after Doubt: What Your Beliefs Stopped Working and What to Do about It - book by Brian D. McLaren Teen Mania Ministries - a now-defunct, Evangelical Christian youth organization spreading the Western evangelical, Christian faith with charismatic youth events (Acquire the Fire) and missions trips (Global Expeditions), founded and spearheaded by Ron Luce - the primary organization highlighted in Season 2 of the Amazon Prime documentary “Shiny, Happy People: A Teenage Holy War” Saved! - 2004 American independent satirical black comedy film directed by Brian Dannelly and starring Mandy Moore Focus on the Family - an American, Evangelical organization founded in 1977 by James Dobson that primarily lobbies against LGBT and pro-choice rights Easy A - 2010 American teen romantic comedy film directed by Will Gluck and starring Emma Stone and Amanda Bynes Columbine High School massacre - school shooting and attempted bombing in Columbine, CO on April 20, 1999 that killed 13 students (including Cassie Bernal) and 1 teacher The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron TIMECODES0:00 - Intro1:25 - As evangelicals, how do we enjoy making things now?3:53 - Allowing ourselves to grieve10:40 - Uncertainty and the unknown13:59 - “I don’t know” breeds humility17:17 - “Compassion led me away from the church.”19:46 - What made Carrie start questioning - the Teen Mania missions trip story24:34 - Christians are mean26:56 - Aquire the Fire29:49 - “Cry Night”33:44 - Cry Night - an explanation for those who didn’t grow up weird like we did37:32 - Expendable bodies in an evangelical war machine41:11 - Numbness42:36 - Brain versus body & artists44:05 - Artists need space and freedom to create

Have you ever felt guilty for enjoying the spotlight? This week we talk with singer, songwriter, and voice coach Melissa V. Cartwright about what it means to grow up evangelical, wrestle with performance, and deconstruct the old programming that told us our art could only be “for God’s glory.” Together, we explore perfectionism, fear, and how to reclaim joy, play, and the freedom to be fully seen. Melissa’s Bio:Singer, Songwriter, and Bilingual Voice and Performance Coach Melissa V. Cartwright is the founder of MVC Performance and the host of Passionate Performer PODCAST (in fact, Emily was a guest on her show—and we’ve the episode below). With over 25 years of experience in TV, radio, studio work, and musical theatre, she helps artists step on stage with confidence—whether it’s their very first open mic or a headlining show.  __________________________________________________ Where to find Melissa: Website: www.mvcperformance.comInstagram: @mvcperformanceTikTok: @mvcperformancePassionate Performer Podcast: on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and YouTube __________________________________________________ References: Emily’s episode on the Passionate Performer Podcast, aired 6/25/25“31: How to Start Over: New Beginnings and the Power of Resilience” with Amber Mogg Cathey 05.03.24 - Honestly, Dear Listener podcast episode“53: Can We Motivate Ourselves without Kicking Our Own Butts?” with Amber Mogg Cathey 10.04.24 - Honestly, Dear Listener podcast episodeMorning Pages - from The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron Shiny, Happy People, Season 2: A Teenage Holy War - TV series on Amazon Prime TIMECODES0:00 - Intro5:11 - Growing up in fundamentalist Christianity as performers6:38 - Melissa’s history & deconstruction14:53 - Communication & overspiritualization19:17 - “I don’t have to hate God to not buy into the b******t”19:33 - Worship leading & our bids for connection23:18 - The weight of overspiritualization & perfectionism25:26 - Performance: for God or for you? & FEAR32:00 - Do we need constant saving?32:48 - From saving the world to play

Hey, Dear Listener, A quick heads- up before we begin: Today's episode involves the death of a parent. If you're navigating any kind of loss--whether someone is truly gone or just no longer who they were before--take care of yourself as you listen.  _______________________________________________________ In this episode of Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about what happens to all the expectations we carry once the person who placed them on us is no longer here. Emily shares about the recent passing of her dad—her childhood best friend and fiercest cheerleader—and how his absence has unexpectedly reshaped her relationship to music, identity, and pressure. We explore how parents pass down not just values, but scripts—and how, in their absence, we’re sometimes left wondering who we really are. Whether you’ve lost a parent or are simply renegotiating the story you’ve been handed, we hope this episode meets you where you are. _______________________________________________________ References: As I Lay Dying - novel by William Faulkner TIMECODES0:00 - Intro2:38 - Creatives & Overthinking4:39 - “My dad died.”10:48 - “I’m living his dream.”12:26 - Grieving someone while they’re still alive22:48 - Expectations- “Who am I if my parents are gone?”25:55 - What Emily’s noticing about expectations/her identity now that her dad is gone30:00 - An irreverent chat about cremation40:27 - Grief

What happens when the work that once gave you life starts to feel like a cage? In this episode, we talk with designer, teacher, entrepreneur, (and Carrie’s former sewing program director) Trishawna Quincy, who shares the story of how she left a stable job she loved—one she built from the ground up—to launch her own sewing business. We talk about discerning when it’s time to pivot, how to say no without guilt, and why building a creative life you actually enjoy is worth the risk (even if it means ironing a cocktail dress when you’re broke). We cover: Navigating career transitions with intention (and spreadsheets) How to know what kind of work lights you up vs. what drains you Setting boundaries around your time and talents Why following joy isn’t a luxury—it’s fuel for the hard parts The unexpected power of making videos, honoring process, and letting your students into your creative practice Whether you’re a multi-hyphenate creative, a burned-out teacher, or just someone who’s hearing the quiet call to “jump,” this one’s for you. Learn more about Trishawna’s private sewing lessons and creative work at tikivisionstylelab.com. ____________________________________________________________ Where to find Trishawna: Website: www.tikivisionstylelab.com Instagram: @tikivisonstylelab TikTok: @tikivisionstylelab ____________________________________________________________ References: Sewing Training Academy - workforce program in Nashville, TN offered by Catholic Charities TIMECODES 0:00 - Intro 3:57 - History of the Sewing Training Program 8:44 - Trishawna’s childhood history with sewing 16:52 - Feeling the need for change 22:41 - Fears about jumping, fear, and uncertainty 28:45 - On saying “no” 38:14 - Advice for new entrepreneurs

This week, we were supposed to record an episode about a totally different topic—but then real life (and a weed whacker) happened. So instead, Carrie and Emily get honest about what it looks like when your beautiful, color-coded goal list gets trampled by end-of-school chaos, family birthdays, two pages of unchecked boxes, and a spontaneous deep-dive into Christian denominational history. (Yes, really.) We talk about: The guilt spiral of not hitting one single weekly goal Why setting “tiny dumb goals” might be the secret to success The trauma residue of rigid goal systems (ahem Christian school “offices”) How soft goals and flexibility can actually get us further ADHD, motherhood, and how hard it is to prioritize play when bills are looming If you’ve ever set ambitious intentions only to get steamrolled by life—or if your nervous system clutches its pearls when you try to have fun—this one’s for you. Spoiler: You’re not a failure. You’re a human. And you’re probably doing great. References: 85: The Tender Artist’s Goal Toolkit: Building Habits without Crushing Your Soul with Allie Moss 06.27.25 - episode of Honestly, Dear Listener podcast - aired 6/27/25 Try Softer: A Fresh Approach to Move Us out of Anxiety, Stress, and Survival Mode--and into a Life of Connection and Joy - book by Aundi Kolber

If you’re an artist with big dreams and a limited amount of energy (hello, real life), this episode is for you. We’re joined by singer/songwriter, vocal coach, and goals-group-organizing wizard Allie Moss to talk about how to set meaningful creative goals without falling into hustle-culture burnout. We dig into: How to tell the difference between “I don’t want to do this” vs. “I’m scared to do this” Why your inner critic needs a nap while you’re making things The beauty of quantity over perfection Gentle approaches to time management, including Allie’s streaks habit app and her color-coded calendar system The power of community and accountability (without the shame) Whether you’re writing songs, books, or to-do lists on the back of receipts, this one’s full of practical advice for showing up to your creative life with intention—and a little grace. Where to Find Allie: Website: www.alliemoss.com Coaching Website: www.alliemosscoaching.com/ Instagram: @Allie Moss Apple Music: Allie Moss Spotify: Allie Moss TikTok: Allie Moss Thinking Outside the Blocks: Website: www.thinkingoutsidetheblocks.com Instagram: @thinkingoutsidetheblocks References: Quarterly Quests from Ali Abdaal’s free workshop - see his work here The 12 Week Year - book by Brian P. Moran & Michael Lennington Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones - book by James Clear The Artist’s Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity, book by Julia Cameron Streaks - habit-forming to-do list app TIMECODES 0:00 - Intro 1:20 - Meet Allie Moss 10:52 - How to know what you actually want (vs. what you “should” do) 16:51 - Why quarterly goals work better than yearly resolutions 18:41 - How to chunk down 25:45 - Becoming the kind of person who does the thing (identity-based goals) 29:51 - How to hush your inner editor 35:19 - Calendar blocking, creative energy, and realistic planning 47:34 - Accountability that doesn’t suck (and the power of community)

Money—just the word can trigger a storm of guilt, shame, confusion, or scarcity. In this episode, we crack open our complicated histories with cash: growing up with little, being raised in churches that equated poverty with holiness, and internalizing a belief that joy and money should never mix. We cover: Growing up in financial lack Church culture’s weird relationship with money, guilt, and perceived “worth” The deeply internalize message: If you love it, you shouldn’t charge for it. How money wounds show up in creative careers The fear of being seen as “bad” or “greedy” for charging what you’re worth Reframing money as energy—not evil—and leaning into circulation, not hoarding Whether you’re a freelancer, artist, teacher, or simply someone who’s ever hesitated to name a price—this episode is for you. There’s healing in honesty. And humor. And yes, maybe even in money. References: You Are a Badass at Making Money: Master the Mindset of Wealth - book by Jen Sincero Rich as F*ck: More Money Than You Know What to Do With - book by Amanda Frances TIMECODES0:00 - Intro1:20 - Emily’s money origin story7:55 - Effects of growing up the way Emily did10:18 - Carrie’s money origin story20:01 - Wrong beliefs about money29:03 - Do we think people with money are bad?

Have you ever felt like everyone around you seems to have a creative identity—but you’re just… a bunch of puzzle pieces that don’t fit into any one box? Maybe you’re multi-passionate, maybe you’ve been told to “pick a lane,” or maybe you’ve spent years trying to be a Tide Pod on a shelf—marketable, palatable, and definitely not too much. In this episode, we talk about what creative authenticity actually feels like in the body, how to recognize when you’re betraying yourself, and why saying “I’ll think about it” might be the ultimate boundary-setting magic trick. And we are joined by a guest who’s lived all of it. Lizzy McAvoy is an award-winning singer-songwriter, multi-instrumentalist, and producer who traded the cornfields of Central Ohio for the creative chaos of Nashville. Her songs have been recorded by Jo Dee Messina, Home Free, The Shires (certified silver), Sondr (certified gold), and Tenille Arts—whose album featuring their collaboration “Butterfly Effect” was nominated for CCMA Album of the Year. You’ve probably heard her work on FOX, Netflix, fashion campaigns, or even a car commercial without realizing it was her. She’s also taken home honors at the Production Music Awards and the Mark Awards two years in a row—including Best Folk Production Music Track and Country/Americana Track of the Year. Where to find Lizzy: Website: www.lizzymcavoy.comInstagram: @lizzymacattackApple Music: Lizzy McAvoySpotify: Lizzy McAvoy References: Behind the Act Podcast with Seth Schaeffer Read Carrie’s Substack here! TIMECODES0:00 - Intro16:42 - Meet Lizzy!21:06 - Living outside of our identity30:59 - How do we know we’re living outside of who we are?40:40 - Lizzy’s secret phrase when you can’t say no43:51 - How do we know when something is a fit?

LISTEN TO PART 1 HERE (then come back and listen to part 2) You’re vibing at an art show. Then it hits you: someone else already made the thing you wish you’d made. Suddenly, your joy nose-dives into insecurity. Welcome to the complex emotional soup of envy and jealousy—especially for creatives. In this second half of this two-part series, Emily and Carrie continue with their discussion on envy and focus specifically on Brené Brown’s definitions of resentment, admiration, reverence, schadenfreude, and freudenfreude. _____________________________________________ A Note from Carrie Hey, Dear Listener—it’s Carrie. If you’ve ever found yourself nodding along with the show and thought, “I wish I had someone to help me make sense of where I'm at,” well… hi! I happen to be a certified life coach, and I work with artists just like you who might feel a little stuck, a little swirly, or just want some help finding the next right step. I’m opening up a couple more spots for artists who want support and structure in their creative work, and I would love to help you reach your goals. To learn more, visit honestlydearlistener.com/coaching. Don’t worry, Dear Listener—we’ve got this. _____________________________________________ References: Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience - book by Brené Brown TIMECODES0:00 - Intro0:24 - What Carrie is envious about9:12 - Resentment definition19:38 - Admiration and reverence definitions25:37 - Schadenfreude & freudenfreude

You’re vibing at an art show. Then it hits you: someone else already made the thing you wish you’d made. Suddenly, your joy nose-dives into insecurity. Welcome to the complex emotional soup of envy and jealousy—especially for creatives. In this first half this two-part series, Emily and Carrie crack open Brené Brown’s definitions, explore how envy often hides under admiration, and share personal stories about classism on airplanes, body image in middle school, and the emotional chaos of someone seeming like a better version of you. (Spoiler: it’s never actually about them.) ______________________________________ A Note from Carrie Hey, Dear Listener—it’s Carrie. If you’ve ever found yourself nodding along with the show and thought, “I wish I had someone to help me make sense of where I'm at,” well… hi! I happen to be a certified life coach, and I work with artists just like you who might feel a little stuck, a little swirly, or just want some help finding the next right step. I’m opening up a couple more spots for artists who want support and structure in their creative work, and I would love to help you reach your goals. To learn more, visit honestlydearlistener.com/coaching. Don’t worry, Dear Listener—we’ve got this. ______________________________________ References: Atlas of the Heart: Mapping Meaningful Connection and the Language of Human Experience - book by Brené Brown TIMECODES 0:00 - Intro 2:39 - Premium Select 10:16 - Jealousy & Envy 10:47 - Atlas of the Heart 11:46 - Envy definition 12:24 - Comparison definition 13:45 - Jealousy definition 21:17 - What we’re usually envious about 23:19 - What Emily is envious about 28:51 - Envy as Dehumanization

This week on Honestly, Dear Listener, we’re talking about bodies—how we ignore them, how they yell at us when we do, and what it actually means to be embodied (especially for those of us who grew up thinking our bodies were the enemy). From panic attacks to protein charts, poop habits to dance breaks, we’re getting real about the messy, beautiful, annoying work of coming home to ourselves—one hard-boiled egg at a time. ____________________________________________________________ A Note from Carrie Hey, Dear Listener—it’s Carrie. If you’ve ever found yourself nodding along with the show and thought, “I wish I had someone to help me make sense of where I'm at,” well… hi! I happen to be a certified life coach, and I work with artists just like you who might feel a little stuck, a little swirly, or just want some help finding the next right step. I’m opening up a couple more spots for artists who want support and structure in their creative work, and I would love to help you reach your goals. To learn more, visit honestlydearlistener.com/coaching. Don’t worry, Dear Listener—we’ve got this. ____________________________________________________________ References: Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle - book by Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski Holy Hurt: Understanding Spiritual Trauma and the Process of Healing - book by Hillary L. McBride The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma - book by Bessel van der Kolk TIMECODES0:00 - Intro2:14 - Bodies & High Control Religion™️ 10:28 - Women Ignoring their Needs (Bodily Included)13:36 - How Panic Attacks are Helpful?28:39 - How Do We Heal?31:14 - Self-Trust: THE KEY40:54 - Things We Can Do to Strengthen Our Relationship with Our Bodies