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Would our reaction to Christian marriage advice change if we realize how many people who write that advice are actually in abusive or destructive marriages? What if people in those marriages are more drawn to write marriage advice to process how they're feeling? Today we look at two different women that Focus on the Family have held up to be emulated. One is a woman who has written prolifically for them, and when you look at her articles and what she reveals about her relationship, a TON of red flags are present. The other is a woman whose husband was jailed for domestic violence, but then she prayed, he repented, and now they lead Love & Respect seminars together. And Focus on the Family thinks this is a positive message. Today Sheila Gregoire is joined by her husband Keith and by abuse educator Sarah McDugal. To Support Us: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workOr, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch at our store! Things Mentioned in the Podcast: The article in the Revealer about Elisabeth Elliot's marriageMy article detailing Focus on the Family's Facebook post praising the man who was jailed for domestic violence, as well as the letter I sent to Jim DalyMy article on TradWife influencers and my concern for themOur podcast on Power of a Praying WifeOur one sheet download on Love & RespectFocus on the Family's article "It's the Little Things"Our Open Letter to Focus on the FamilyFind Sarah McDugal: Follow Sarah on FacebookFind her at Wilderness to WildJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth taught concerning things about shame, trauma, and even what God is like. On today's podcast, we're joined by Becky Castle Miller, a doctoral student looking at emotions in the Bible, and Helen Blake, a licensed counselor in Sydney, Australia, to discuss some of the damaging teachings--and point us to a Jesus who understands and sympathizes with our struggles. Things Mentioned in the Podcast: To Support Us: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our workOr, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko FoundationAnd check out our Merch at our store!  Our Downloadable Onesheet: Download our One Sheet on Lies Women Believe, looking at the problems with the book Other Things We Talked About: Last week's podcast on Part 1 of Lies Women BelieveFind Becky Castle Miller on InstagramScot McKnight's book King Jesus Gospel Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Lies Women Believe by Nancy DeMoss Wolgemuth is one of the most popular women’s bible study books used in churches across North America. But what does the book actually teach about marriage? About sex? About divorce and abuse? It’s scary, and today Gretchen Baskerville and Natalie Hoffman join host Sheila Wray Gregoire to analyze the harmful messages in Lies Women Believe. Things Mentioned in the Podcast: To Support Us: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation Our Downloadable Onesheet: Download our One Sheet on Lies Women Believe: Natalie Hoffman's Information: Natalie’s Podcast Flying Free, and her website Natalie Hoffman’s book Is It Me: Making Sense of Your Confusing Marriage Gretchen Baskerville's Information: Gretchen Baskerville’s site The Lifesaving Divorce: Gretchen Baskerville’s YouTube channel: Gretchen’s book The Lifesaving Divorce Other Resources Our podcast on The Power of  a Praying Wife (featuring Gretchen): Our podcast telling Natalie’s story: Our book She Deserves Better, which deals with Nancy Leigh DeMoss’ book Lies Young Women Believe:  Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Links to things mentioned: First, support us! Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation Check out our Merch! Our Resources Sign up for Rebecca’s Friday emails The Orgasm Course (there’s also an add-on for husbands) She Deserves Better book The Studies We Looked At: Time Use and Feelings of Love “Women Get Worse Sex: A Confound in the Explanation of Gender Differences in Sexuality “Popular Psychology Through a Scientific Lens: Evaluating Love Languages From a Relationship Science Perspective” “Gender Inequities in Household Labor Predict Lower Desire”, How to Understand Statistics Podcast (and how statistics can be misused): Want to be part of our research team? If you're a grad student, prof, or other academic, check out our job opportunities to help with peer reviewed research papers: Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Links to things mentioned: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work https://patreon.com/baremarriage Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruits Check out our Merch–including our Love & Respect His & Her mugs: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/shop/his-hers-love-and-respect-ceramic-mugs/ Sign up for Rebecca’s Friday emails: http://eepurl.com/z0VFn The Great Sex Rescue: https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/ The Good Guy’s Guide to Great Sex: https://baremarriage.com/good-girls-guys-guide-great-sex/ Gary’s article “Young Husband: It Might Not be Her; It Might be Her Situation” https://garythomas.com/2017/06/29/young-husband-might-not-might-situation/ Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Links to things mentioned: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month to support our work https://patreon.com/baremarriage Or, for tax deductible donations in the U.S., support our Good Fruit Faith Initiative through the Bosko Foundation: https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruits Check out our Merch–including our Love & Respect His & Her mugs: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/shop/his-hers-love-and-respect-ceramic-mugs/ Emerson Eggerichs’ reel where he talks about relationships https://www.instagram.com/reel/CxL4Lm6pDo7/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igsh=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== Our summary of the issues with Love & Respect https://baremarriage.com/2023/01/summary-problems-love-and-respect-emerson-eggerichs/  Our Open Letter to Focus on the Family about Love & Respect https://baremarriage.com/2020/01/open-letter-focus-on-the-family-love-respect-emerson-eggerichs/ (All of our other posts are linked there) Our podcast looking at the way he downplayed abuse in a sermon series at Houston First Baptist Church https://baremarriage.com/2021/03/podcast-on-emerson-eggerichs-gaslighting-emotional-abuse-victims-and-stop-seeing-women-as-dangerous/ Our look at how Emerson Eggerichs misuses Scripture in Love & Respect https://baremarriage.com/2023/01/emerson-eggerichs-twists-scripture-love-respect/ The problems with hierarchy in marriage (Keith’s Danvers statement series) https://baremarriage.com/2023/06/danvers-statement-series-complementarian-problem-1-men-dominating-their-wives/ Check out Andrew Bauman’s Christian Counseling Center for Sexual Health and Trauma: https://christiancc.org/ Andrew J. Bauman’s website https://andrewjbauman.com, or follow him on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/AndrewJamesBauman Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Links to things mentioned: Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our Facbook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more!Thanks to everyone who helped us reach our fundraising goal! You can give to our work and get tax deductible donations (within the United States) by donating to the Good Fruit Faith initiative of the Bosko Foundation. Check out our Merch at our store, including our biblical womanhood and biblical manhood merch, our new Jezebel merch, and more!Join our email list so you don't miss one of Rebecca's great Friday emails, or any chances to be in new surveys, etc.Mark Gungor's clip about preferring a dog to a wife who talks to  youThe Halo 3 study about female voiced playersJoin Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Links to things mentioned: Partner with us at Good Fruit Faith, an initiative of the Bosko Foundation, as we help impact future church leaders with our data and our message (tax receiptable within the U.S.): https://secure.qgiv.com/for/goodfruits Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and get access to unfiltered podcasts! https://patreon.com/baremarriage Find Scot McKnight and Laura Barringer’s book Pivot: https://amzn.to/3ToOKiV, along with their first book together A Church Called Tov: https://amzn.to/41nRsrd Our first podcast together about their book A Church Called Tov: https://baremarriage.com/2021/04/podcast-a-church-called-tov-and-matthew-18/ Find Scot McKnight’s New Testament bible study series: https://amzn.to/46Zc5uW Laura Barringer on Threads: https://www.threads.net/@lauraebarringer Scot McKnight on Threads: https://www.threads.net/@scotandkris Me on Threads! https://www.threads.net/@sheilagregoire Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Links to things mentioned: Our marriage survey is still open! We’re looking for married couples to take it. https://baremarriage.com/grim Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month, and get access to our incredible Facebook group, unfiltered podcasts, and more! https://patreon.com/baremarriage Help us raise $52,000 by Christmas to expand our reach and make inroads into academic circles! BOSKO LINK HERE Laura Anderson’s book When Religion Hurts You https://amzn.to/3sB0Zhs Find Laura on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drlauraeanderson/ Our Merch: order before December 10 to use it as Christmas gifts! https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/merchandise/ Our book She Deserves Better, outlining some of the trauma messages teen girls receive, and our book The Great Sex Rescue, outlining vaginismus as a potential trauma response Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Things mentioned in this podcast: Our survey link! Couples are invited to take our marriage survey (you take it individually and it’s confidential): https://baremarriage.com/grim Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and help support our research and our work! https://patreon.com/baremarriage Join our email list and get Rebecca’s awesome Friday emails as well as a roundup of our best posts and podcasts: http://eepurl.com/z0VFn Sarah’s Wilderness to Wild program: https://wildernesstowild.com No Eden Elsewhere blog talking about small group abuse at Watermark Church: https://noedenelsewhere.com/the-aftermath-stories-from-former-watermark-church-members/ Dee Parsons from The Wartburg Watch on why you shouldn’t sign a membership covenant: https://thewartburgwatch.com/2023/09/11/smart-christians-need-to-think-carefully-before-joining-a-church-with-a-membership-covenant-which-is-a-legal-contract/ and how to resign from a membership covenant: https://thewartburgwatch.com/permpage-how-to-resign-from-a-church-whether-or-not-you-are-under-church-discipline/ Our podcast with Naghmeh Panahi: https://baremarriage.com/2023/10/naghmeh-panahi-bullied-leaving-abusive-marriage-podcast/ Biblical Counseling post on 98 ways you can sign against your husband: https://baremarriage.com/2019/06/sinning-against-husband/ The consent form you sign for biblical counseling: https://baremarriage.com/2019/03/question-your-biblical-counsellor/ John MacArthur Sermon Clip: https://www.gty.org/library/sermons-library/70-54/bible-questions-and-answers-part-77 Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Links to things mentioned: Take our marriage survey! We’re looking for couples to fill out our marriage survey: https://baremarriage.com/grim Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and support our work, while getting access to our awesome Facebook community! https://patreon.com/baremarriage Our Merch makes great Christmas gifts! Order before December 11 to guarantee delivery by Christmas: https://sheilawraygregoire.com/product-category/merchandise/ Andrew Whitehead’s book American Idolatry: https://amzn.to/3SubmhI, and Andrew Whitehead’s book with Sam Perry, Taking Back America for God https://amzn.to/3FU84Ne Join Andrew’s substack! https://andrewwhitehead.substack.com/ Follow Andrew on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/ndrewwhitehead/  Listen to Andrew’s 4 part series on Christian nationalism: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/american-idols/id1706355168 Our book (co-authored with Joanan Sawatsky) The Great Sex Rescue https://baremarriage.com/great-sex-rescue/ Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.

Links to things mentioned: Our survey link! Couples are invited to take our marriage survey (you take it individually and it’s confidential): https://baremarriage.com/grim/ Join our Patreon for as little as $5 a month and help support our research and our work! https://patreon.com/baremarriage The article where you can find the Elisabeth Elliot quote on the essence of femininity: https://www.crossway.org/articles/the-essence-of-femininity/ Holly Furtick’s reel on being grumpy: https://www.instagram.com/reel/CtnHKVJOOOI/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== Holly Furtick’s reel on not fussing and just praying: https://www.instagram.com/reel/Cm1oSdNBGB3/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link&igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== The study on why sweating the small stuff is important: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18361676/ Get help for religious OCD at NOCD.com -- Licensed therapists using evidence-based techniques. https://nocd.com John Gottman’s book The 7 Principles for Making Marriage Work: https://amzn.to/3Mxzc8h Join Sheila at Bare Marriage.com! Check out her books: The Great Sex Rescue She Deserves Better The Good Girl's Guide to Great Sex and The Good Guy's Guide to Great Sex And she has an Orgasm Course and a Libido course too! Check out all her courses, FREE resources, books, and so much more at Sheila's LinkTree.