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Are you Drifting Through Life - How to Find Direction Are you living with direction, or just going through the motions? Sometimes we don't suddenly lose our way. We drift. Our days fill up, life carries on, and before we know it, we're not quite sure what deserves centre stage anymore. I've been exploring this through my own North Star work — looking at how I want to live, what matters to me, and how I can design a life rather than simply follow the routine. And I've been asking myself a question: What deserves centre stage today? In this FMQ, I share why finding your direction matters, how changing roles can make us question who we are, and why a little self-reflection might help us get back on our own path. Because we're all works in progress, aren't we? And perhaps the answer isn't to have life all figured out. It's to keep checking we're heading in a direction that matters to us. Come and have a think with me. Then join me for the deeper dive, where we'll explore how to start your day, your week — and perhaps your life — with a little more intention. As always please share: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-544-are-you-drifting-through-life And if you want to watch https://youtu.be/4ybOlU533_k Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey, welcome to this five minute quickie, sowing a seed from a conversation I had with myself. So I was sitting down the other day, just reviewing stuff as you do. And I thought to myself, when I think of a day, do I ever think of what deserves to be centre stage? Do you think of whatever needs to be centre stage of your day? Maybe centre stage of your week? Do you ever think about what matters most of all today? And then I thought about the issue of drifting, drifting from the right path.   And you see, what I thought was, we've been on a little journey, a little adventure over the last few episodes. Such things as my struggle with structure, my need for structure, but also my need for freedom. And that led me to things like managing time.   Or is it designing your life? Or even if you remember that longer podcast, how the hell did I even get here? And all those questions, or all those longer episodes, came from, I'm going to call it a personal struggle. Because it was a struggle and it was personal to me. But it was me finding new ways, changing roles, which effectively, you get to think of changing your identity.   And this could be by choice. Mine was more by choice than necessity, or being made to. But sometimes we're forced, aren't we? We're forced to change our roles, change our way of being forced, maybe.   A hand being forced. And they're not comfortable at all, are they? But there was this thing about what deserves to be centre stage today. Because it had come to me over the last few weeks.   But you see, what I thought was, one of the thoughts I was, because I like to share this stuff. I was trying to think where it all came from. And no one really tells you this, do they? They tell you to plan your week.   And we've talked about it, you know, doing all the different things you would do for planning. And planning is great. But no one tells you how to start your day, which is different than planning your day.   No one tells you how to start your week. No one tells you how to start your bloody life when it comes down to it. Because, you know, we come onto this little world.   And there isn't a rulebook, is there? Not a written down one and one you can follow. You know, there's not a manual. And a little while ago, I was really confused about this.   And then I had one or two aha moments. I did a lot of inner work, you see. A lot of inner work.   And it all started with my question to myself. And I even put it into my computer as a folder, finding me. And I was going to put things into that folder that I discovered about finding me.   And I put lots of little bits in there. And then I changed it a little bit to finding my North Star. Because somehow, that felt so important.   And it is so important. I don't know if you really feel that too. That's finding your direction.   Maybe a reason for being here. And how to be here. I'm keeping that in my mind, my North Star.   But my North Star now is becoming my life's architecture. Because I'm building my life. I'm designing my life and building it.   And I haven't finished yet. Oh, no. You see, we're all a work in progress.   Because I don't think I ever will finish. Because it's a work in progress. And I think if you just, well, think about yourself.   Are you the finished article? Yeah, we're all work in progress, aren't we? And you see, it kept coming back through all this inner work I do with my puzzle book and all that stuff, self reflection, reviews, and an awful lot of dreaming because dreaming is a wonderful thing to do. I used to have a dream book, how to make things happen used to call it my dream book. And I think I've discovered something.   It's not the way, the way, the only way. But I think it's a really good start. It's a start to how you can go about really understanding how to start your day.   How to find that centre stage of your day, your week, your life, maybe. To save drift, because drifting is the thing that I think this takes us away. And we don't notice it because it's a drift.   It's not like there's a current suddenly pulling us along or we're getting swept away. It's a drift for the reason we're here. And drifting and making sure we pull back onto the right path.   So if any of that has just resonated with you, you know, if you think I'm just going through the motions, maybe, because that's a little bit what I was doing. You know, my day started, my day finished. I then have maybe an evening where I'd do the same thing.   Yeah, there was bits and pieces in between. And I'm not moaning because I was really fortunate because I met some wonderful people working with clients, designing various things for the mind, different processes, enjoying myself. But it was a little bit by rote.   But then, as I say, those changing roles, things are changing our direction. That's what it is, it's finding a direction. And sometimes we just need to make sure that we are on that right path, the right direction.   And you do that, I think, by making sure that you start the day right, you start the week right. And that will make your day right. And maybe on the deeper dive, when we get into that, I'll go through with the things that I found really benefited me of how I found those things.   And maybe we'll have a little hypnosis process in there as well. And that will also link into something else I'm doing, tools in transformation. And there's little bits in there.   And that tool, there's a tool in tools in transformation, which I haven't issued yet, they're coming out shortly. That goes along with this a little bit as well. So have a little think, have a little think of how much are you really on path, on your path? Are you pointing to your North Star? And then come with me.   Because even if you are, maybe some of the things that I've come up with, they might just help you really lock that in place. And if you are a little bit drifty, like I was, I think they'll bring you back on course. So come with me on the next deeper dive.   And we'll have some real fun. Because that's what it's about, isn't it? Having fun and finding our way. So until the next time, my friend, you go fly and press subscribe and follow.   So you make sure you get the next longer, deeper dive in your listening device of choice. Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited     Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

What Are You Leaving Room For? What if your obsession with managing time is actually stopping you from living your life? For years I thought every bit of my time had to be useful. Productive. Accounted for. If I looked back at the day and couldn't point to what I'd achieved, I'd feel bloody guilty. Time blocking, priorities, goals, productivity systems… I've tried the lot. And they all have their place. But eventually I realised I wasn't really trying to manage my time. I was trying to work out how to design my life. Because here's the thing: if every minute of your week already has a job, where does something new get in? Where does curiosity fit? Creativity? Learning? Walking. Thinking. An unexpected idea. A new opportunity. Or simply doing something because it enriches your life? In this deeper dive, I explore what happens when we stop trying to fill every available space and deliberately leave some room. Not empty time. Potential. It's part of what I'm discovering through my North Star work: protecting what matters while remaining open to what I haven't discovered yet. Maybe you don't need to manage every minute. Maybe you need to ask a better question: What are you leaving room for? Please remember to share what you hear https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/492-what-are-you-leaving-room-for/ Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism #492 What Are You Leaving Room For? Hey friend, welcome to the deeper dive of the Personal Development Unplugged podcast.   Let's get started. I think I've had it for such a long time in my life. It is a question.   In fact, it's been more than a question. It's caused me anxiety. It's an anxiety, a fear, as it were, about wasting time.   I have this thing, I have to spend time wisely, productively, all the time. Every bit of time has to be allocated. Well, that's what I used to think.   And it gave me real shit when I used to look back at the day or forward to the day and if I felt I just wasted any moment of time. Do you ever get that? You feel what a wasted day. Time's finite isn't it? It's the only thing that in some ways you can't, you can spend it but you can't really save it.   You have to be there. You see time as I say can't be spent, can't be saved rather. You could ask your question, did I spend it? Well today.   But the other thing is you can maybe just look back and wonder what I actually achieved and I used to really, used to cripple me. And I've done so many things, so many things and I bet you have too. You've probably had lots of different processes of time management etc.   Here's the ones that I tried. You see I did a long time ago with Tony Robbins, I did OPA. Knowing your outcome, what's the purpose of that outcome and then doing action.   It's all about taking action and an action is great. Especially when you decide what to do. I did time blocking and I used to try to block out every bit of time, the whole day.   I still use time blocking but I use it differently now. I used to think what's urgent versus important because I know the difference. Intellectually I knew we get stuck in the urgent stuff and we really need to just do the important stuff but we get lost in all of this trying to spend time wisely, productively and not wasting it.   Following intuition. That's good but with that other stuff it just didn't work out for me. You see there, I'm sure there's other stuff I use as well but they're all useful.   But not one of them really quite solved my underlying dissatisfaction of what I've done and also stopped the anxiety. The anxiety and fear of just wasting this time I have on planet Earth. And then there was the funny and stupid things are and yes there are funny and stupid things will happen.   Have you ever had this? You're doing something. You're doing something really important or you're going to. You got it blocked out but before you start you really have to tidy your desk up.   You have to get everything pristine. Get those pencils and rubbers and pens all in their places. And does that make bloody sense? It looks like and feels like we're being productive but that's an avoidance isn't it? It doesn't make bloody sense at all.   Yet with this fear of losing time, wasting time, I still would try to avoid. And I don't know why. Well I don't know and I don't need to know why.   That's the whole thing. Because why you might find excuses. You might find limiting beliefs.   But I had, if you've ever heard the expression, the penny just dropped. Maybe like an aha moment I guess. It was a thought I had sitting quietly.   Maybe maybe time management isn't solving the wrong problem. You see I wasn't trying to organize my hours. I thought I was.   But I was actually trying to work out how to organize my life. Well that's a big one isn't it? Organize your life. You see I struggled with questions like what does it actually mean to spend time well? Because I had in my mind initially it had to be productive.   I had to be doing things. So what does it actually mean to spend time well? Does that resonate? Here's another one that might just get you. And it got me because I couldn't.   Who decides what's worth your time? Yeah because there's pressures isn't there? There's also pressures from peer pressure, the media, what you should be doing. So much going on in your head can can put that pressure on. So who really decides what's worth your time? We know the answer.   You know the real answer. But sometimes it's fudged isn't it? And then the other thing you can ask yourself maybe this is a question I've struggled with. Can a perfectly organized day still be a badly spent day? Because you see this is what happened.   I spent years trying to organize my time. What I really needed was to organize my life because I would have a perfectly organized day and still feel I'd missed the point. I would have missed the point.   Meaningful, oh that was a big one, meaningful. You see what I discovered. You see it landed, it landed in this bloody noggin of mine.   There really is a distinction, a distinction in this time thing in my head. You see there is a There's a time that needs scheduling, that's without doubt, so I'm not throwing everything out because that would be silly, wouldn't it? There's a time that needs scheduling, things like appointments, commitments, deadlines, things involving other people. They may be each one of those above, but things that really involve other people.   So you have to be there for them. And things that you're going to do that have a definite duration, because you don't want them to just keep going on and on. So you say this is going to take this long, but what was the distinction, Paul? I've got that bit, the things that really need scheduling, but there's time that shouldn't necessarily have a predetermined outcome.   What? Let's say that again, clearly, there is a time that shouldn't necessarily have a predetermined outcome. Now, what times are they? And this is what I found in my search, a little bit I call my North Star, how I got some foundations to that. There's times that don't have a predetermined outcome such as thinking, thinking time, reflection, time just to reflect, considering, these are all, you know, they're not quite the same, but they're, you know, you might be considering an outcome, you might be thinking about something different, you might be reflecting on what's just gone by.   And there's exploring, just exploring options. Maybe there's a bit of creativity, you want to create something. So you need time for creating creation.   Then I thought to myself, what about that time for learning, sitting down and just learning something new to get this noggin of mine really, well, trying to fire it, get those neural pathways to far and wide together. Maybe if I had through all of that ideas, I could then follow an idea through a little bit, which ultimately all lent its way to discovering something new, opportunities that haven't appeared yet. Yeah, does that make sense? You see, I had an idea that not all time now has the same job.   That's what I had at the beginning. It had to be productive, it had to be meaningful, it had to be everything all the time. It had to be set down in stone.   But now

Are you managing your time… or are you designing your life? I've spent years trying to get better at time management. Time blocking. Priorities. OPA — Outcome, Purpose, Action. Lists. Apps. And, occasionally, rearranging my pencils instead of doing the bloody thing I was supposed to be doing. And some of those tools work. But something still felt wrong. Because you can become incredibly efficient at spending your time while still spending it on the wrong things. That was the thought that landed in my puzzle book: Maybe time management is solving the wrong problem. Maybe the question isn't: "How can I manage my time better?" Maybe it's: "What do I actually want my life to be about?" That's a much bigger question. And it's one I've been exploring as part of my own North Star adventure — trying to work out not just what I should do with my time, but what kind of life I actually want to create. In this FMQ, I sow the seed. The deeper dive is where we'll explore the difference between managing your time and designing your life, why being busy doesn't necessarily mean you're moving forward, and how to start putting the important things back where they belong. So before you rush off to organise tomorrow's diary... Maybe stop and ask yourself what you're actually organising it for. In this FMQ, we explore: Why better time management doesn't necessarily create a better life The difference between urgent and important Why being busy can become a very clever form of distraction How productivity tools can sometimes help us organise the wrong things Why time blocking and planning aren't enough on their own The question: "What am I actually trying to create with my time?" And the bigger shift from managing time to designing a life The deeper dive is coming. And knowing me, there'll probably be a puzzle book, a few uncomfortable questions and at least one process involved. Listen to the deeper dive What if managing your time isn't the answer? What if the real work is deciding what deserves your time in the first place? That's the conversation we're having next. A little question for you Before the longer episode arrives, grab a bit of paper — or your own puzzle book — and ask yourself: If I stopped trying to manage my time better, what would I actually want to do with my life? Don't solve it. Just let the question have a rummage around. If this got you thinking... Subscribe or follow Personal Development Unplugged so the deeper dive lands in your feed. And if you know someone who's forever saying "I'm so bloody busy", send this their way. It might give them something else to think about. You never know. Your question might become the seed of the next episode. Have more fun than you can stand and share what you hear: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-543-youre-managing-your-time-but-are-you-designing-your-life   If there's something you'd like me to explore, or you've got a question, a challenge or even a celebration you'd like to share, email me: [email protected] It's time to fly.   Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Welcome back, welcome back to another Seed, the FMQ. I thought about this because it seemed to me, and it was me, everyone seems to want to manage their time better. And for me, I'd see if this goes inside you too, and feel sounds right.   Can you maybe just grasp it for a bit? I wanted to spend my time on the right thing. I had this real burning, it wasn't a desire, but it was a burning thing that I didn't want to waste time. Time was so valuable.   Time's the only bloody thing that you can only spend, you can't save. Well, you can save it a bit, but you can't save it for another day, can you? You can't put it in a deposit account and go, Oh, I think I'll spend a bit of time that I put aside. I was, I used to get anxious about what's happening to my time.   Did I spend it right? Did I do the right thing? Did I waste it? Oh, no, I just sat there. Maybe I was scrolling and deep diving in bloody TikTok and all that stuff. Sometimes it's about maybe distractions, which is that part of the deep dive, but there's other distractions in our time.   Distractions of other people. Sometimes we get distracted. Deliberately, don't we? We distract ourselves.   Oh, I better clean my desk up before I start work, because it's important that I put the pens in the right way up before I do this. So, you know, we're self-sabotaging ourselves, trying in some way to manage time better. I used to think that if I managed my time better, I'd be more motivated.   I'd be on the money. I'd be really there. I'd be making it happen.   But I then look back and go, shit Cloughie, you didn't do an awful lot today. And I was always looking for the right time management tool. And I know there's loads of them about now on, you can get the apps everywhere.   And I did a lot way, way, way, way, way back. I used to do Tony Robbins, OPA. OPA, Outcome, Purpose, Action.   And it works. It did work. But I did get distracted.   I did sometimes not do it completely right. Maybe I was picking the wrong things. And at the end of the day, I thought at the beginning of the day, I was doing the right things.   But at the end of the day, I'd look back and thought, I'm not so happy with all of that. Maybe that was just me. Maybe that wasn't.   It worked well. It worked well. I even then put it into time blocking.   We all know what time blocking is, yeah? Well, you get your diary and you put in a big block of time saying, this is what I'm going to do. This is going to make a difference to me now. It's going to make it so different because I want to know exactly when I'm going to do something.   But sometimes distractions came along because I had to clear those pencils up again, because maybe the pen wanted just a cap on and the pencils wanted sharpening and the rubber wanted to be put in the corner and clean that, dust the desk, it's a bit dirty. And I used to religiously sit down in the mornings and time block everything. But then I got confused.   Because I had, say, like the OPA, outcome, purpose, action in my mind, because I knew that's important to know what you're doing, it's the intention, the purpose, and then take action. But I had a real difficulty in understanding what was urgent and what was important. You see, there's a lot of people who do a lot of urgent stuff.   You see them, they're busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, busy, doing all the urgent stuff. And what happens? They leave all the f*****g important stuff behind. Because they're like feeling busy.   And you look back at the end of the day and say, oh, I've been so busy, but you've achieved absolutely nothing. You know, I did find out and I know now, if I do the important things first, things get done. And I can use in a bit of time blocking, I can do a little bit of OPA and all that stuff.   But it still wasn't satisfying me. Something was out of kilter. I even used to go, okay, I'm just going to follow my intuition without question.   You know, everyone says follow your gut, just go ahead and do it. And I did sometimes and I did the urgent things or I intuitively followed something which just distracted me because it was easy. Yeah.   And that's where I started to think, something's wrong. I know time management is a useful tool. But I was trying to live my life, design my life by allocating my time, my lifetime.   And this question came up in my head. Maybe, maybe, maybe time management may be solving the wrong problem. But I'm going to repeat that.   Maybe time management is solving the wrong problem. That's when the puzzle book comes out, isn't it? That's when the puzzle book comes out. You start thinking, you see, I spent years trying to organise my time.   But what I really needed to do is this. And this is where the puzzle book came in. I needed to organise my life.   Wow, that was a big distinction, wasn't it? I'm going to repeat that as well. I spent years trying to organise my time, time management. But what I really needed was to organise my life.   And it's like the thread that we've been going through over the last few episodes. But this one goes even deeper, really meaningful. So that's where we're going to go on the deeper dive, the longer podcast.   We'll find out, you know, what's stopping us. Well, I tell you what, I'm not even going to tell you what we're going to find out, what we're going to achieve, because there's loads of stuff in there. I've got things I want to share with you.   So just let that ruminate, ruminate, juggle around in those, in that little thing at the top of your head.

What If Life Doesn't Need to Go According to Plan? How the hell did I get here? It's a question I've been asking myself lately — and the more I think about it, the more I realise something rather interesting. Some of the things that matter most in my life were never part of the plan. Hypnosis certainly wasn't. Neither were some of the people I've met, opportunities I've stumbled across, friendships I could never have predicted, or the directions my life eventually took. And yet, those unexpected moments often turned out to matter enormously. So perhaps the answer isn't to stop planning. Planning can be bloody useful. It gives us direction, reassurance and something to work towards. But what happens when we become so attached to the route that we stop noticing the possibilities appearing along the way? In this deeper dive, I explore the difference between having a plan, choosing a direction, and remaining open to what life puts in front of us. And I share one of the ways I'm working with this in my own North Star exploration — using my puzzle book to ask some deceptively simple questions about the life I've lived, what I'm grateful for, what really matters to me, and what direction might be worth exploring next. Because maybe we don't always need the whole bloody map. Maybe we need to know the direction… and remain curious enough to notice what appears. Listen in, have a think, and see what your life might be trying to show you. And please share your appreciation by sharing the episode: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/491-what-if-life-doesnt-need-to-go-according-to-plan And if you want to watch me recording this episode https://youtu.be/BYNBv_KI5-w Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism  Have you ever, ever, ever, ever thought when you look back at your life and ask this question, how the hell did I get here? How the hell did I get here? It's an interesting question, isn't it? I'll bet you have never asked it, but I'm asking it now.   How did I get here? Because you see, when you examine it, so much of what matters in life, I think, was never on the roadmap. So, if you like, say that again, if you're like me, you might just say to yourself, I know I had plans, I had trajectories, I knew where I thought I was going, and yet, some of the things that changed my life the most, I couldn't possibly have planned. They were so far over the horizon, there's no way I could see them.   You see, NLP wasn't supposed to lead me here. It was supposed to lead me into being a kick-ass business person. And I went to a particular guy who was going to train me and I spoke to him many times saying, I want to come and do NLP with you, proud of it, he was a brilliant man, fortunately he's up in the heavens now.   And he said, no, Paul, you can't, you have to learn hypnosis first. And hypnosis was not on my horizon. It's never, or was never on my horizon, I didn't even know what the bloody thing was.   But he said, you know, you've got to come and learn hypnosis first before you can do NLP. So I thought, oh bugger, I know he's such a good man, so I'm going to learn it. And the thing was, something bloody happened.   It was in about the first day, I had this realisation, what a dick I was, to think this was NLP and that was going to make me this kick-ass businessman. Because I was going to try to use it as hacks and, you know, all the tips and tricks and all that stuff you hear about manipulation. And what a lot of bollocks that was.   I had this realisation, this aha moment, I'm a dick. Let's just learn. Because there was so much more to learn.   And what happened? Tell you what happened, which was so far off the horizon. I learned hypnosis. I did learn NLP, I did do lots of business with it.   And then I carried on, but created hypnosis clinics, did trainings, taught people, helped people, did all sorts of stuff, which was never on my bloody horizon. Never planned. Then there was another time, another time in my life when I was doing some work and I got a phone call from a guy I sort of knew.   I'd worked with him before, but he was like in a different company and he worked for us and things like that. And he just phoned up one day and said, Hey, Paul, could you help me out? I've got this job and it's near where you live. Can you pop in on a Saturday morning, just for the next month or so and do some work for me? So I said, yeah, sure.   Why not? And that's what I did. That little invitation. And then he said to me one day, thanks for doing what you're doing, but do you know somebody who can come and help me full time? Because my business is growing and I need this type of help.   And I said, well, have you thought about asking me? And he said, would you do it? You wouldn't do it, would you? Because you do other things. You know, you've been a director. No.   Is that really you? I said, well, ask me. And he did. And I said, why not? Why not? Done everything else.   This is another path. And what did it lead to? 15 years of working somebody who we never had an argument with. We never had a formal agreement, but we never fell out.   We never did any crosswords, which is so weird. And he became a real friend. I never had friends at work.   I had colleagues. Yeah. But not real friend friends.   But he was a friend I could really turn to whenever I needed to. He was there. And so far beyond my horizon, all from, well, why not? Now, have a think about this.   Let's put the spotlight on you for the moment. Yeah. In a nice way.   In a nice way. I want you just to consider something. You may want to come back to it after as well, but just take time to consider how much of your life was actually planned? Not the obvious stuff, because obviously, I had plans in my business and things like that, because you have to have some plans.   But think about the people you've met. Think about the opportunities you've come across serendipitously, if I could say the word. The places you've lived, visited, the jobs you've had, the relationships and those happy accidents.   The things which were totally unexpected. Maybe it was a conversation. Just think for the moment, how many of those things that now matter enormously, if I could say the word, to you, were actually part of your original plan? Yeah.   I'm gonna bet not a lot. Yeah. So let's have a little think.   Don't think that planning is bad, by the way. We're not going to throw planning out with the bathwater, because that's a ridiculous thing to do. Because planning is effective when it's done properly, and it's successful.   All the things I did, having found these unexpected things and the why nots, I still had to plan for them to come to fruition. Because what does planning do? It gives us a little bit of certainty, because we've got an idea where we're going, what we're doing. It gives us a bit of control, doesn't it? Again, because we know the steps.   And that control gives us a little bit of reassurance. Maybe sometimes it fulfills your identity. This is where I'm going.   I don't like the identity bit, but this is why I think, I'm going to do this. That's a better identity. I can do this, because I've got control.   And plans give you something to measure against, doesn't it? Because if you haven't got a plan to measure against, you don't know how close you are to that goal. You don't know how far you've come. You don't know whether you have to move direction slightly.   And it also gives you that wonderful feeling that you know what you're doing. Now, sometimes we don't, but we feel it. And that's why abandoning or changing a plan can feel so uncomfortable, you see.   We're going to change and that takes away our uncertainty, or creates uncertainty rather. Can't get it right, Cluffy. We're maybe still in control, but the reassurance isn't there anymore.   And we're thinking, is this me? My measurements are gone. Maybe I don't know what I'm doing. Maybe I get that funny belief.   And that's why I say, changing plans can be a little bit, feel funny. We're threatening that certainty that we were believing is that we knew the route. But the thing is, there's a richer point.   And it's like overplanning. Don't overplan. This is to me, it's a little bit like

How the Hell Did I Get Here? When Life Takes You Somewhere You Never Planned Have you ever looked at your life and thought… "How the hell did I get here?" I have. Twenty-six years ago I thought I knew exactly where I was going. I wanted NLP to help me become a kick-ass business person. Instead, I discovered hypnosis. And that completely changed the direction of my life. Then, years later, a phone call from a friend led me into another part of my career that I'd never planned, never expected and initially didn't even want. It became one of the best things that ever happened to me. And that's what got me wondering: Why do we think the rest of our lives has to be planned? Maybe life isn't always about following the plan. Maybe it's about having a direction… and being open enough to notice what appears along the way. This FMQ is the seed for the deeper dive: "What If Your Life Doesn't Need to Go According to Plan?" So, before you rush off to plan the next five years of your life, have a think about one question: How the hell did you get here? And what unexpected turns might have taught you something you couldn't have learned any other way? In this FMQ Why your life may take unexpected turns What unexpected opportunities can teach us The difference between having a plan and having a direction Why being open to change can create possibilities How life experiences can change your sense of purpose A question that might make you look at your own journey differently Your puzzle-book question How the hell did I get here? And then: What happened in my life that I never planned, but I'm bloody glad happened? Listen to the deeper dive What If Your Life Doesn't Need to Go According to Plan? Because sometimes the most interesting parts of life are the bits we never put on the bloody plan. If this episode resonates, subscribe or follow Personal Development Unplugged, and please share it with someone who might need the question too. It's time to fly, my friend. Have more fun than you can stand. Please share what you learn: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-542-how-the-hell-did-i-get-here-when-life-takes-you-somewhere-you-never-planned Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Welcome my friend to the seed a five minute quickie, the seed of thought. Well, my thoughts anyway. And the thought this time is how the hell did I get here? You see, about 26 years ago, I heard about this thing called NLP.   And I thought it was going to be kick ass, kick ass. In my business life, it's gonna, it was gonna just shoot my career, I'd be able to manipulate people and all that stuff. And so 26 years ago, or maybe more actually that 26 and a half years ago, I want to went and did a training with a guy called Wilf Proudfoot, unfortunately, he's left this world.   But what a wonderful man he was. And he was so wonderful. He said, I'm not teaching you now people, you got to learn hypnosis.   Oh, really? But I wanted to be this kick ass business person is going to change everything for myself. All in my business. I got it planned.   And I started that course. Bloody hypnosis. What the hell is all this about? What's that got to do with, you know, progressing my career? How's it going to change my life? I don't know.   And I listened to what he was saying. And a few things started to, you know, the cogs started to, to move in a different way in my mind. And then there was an aha moment about, I think it was about just coming into the second day.   I was thinking about this. I was wanting to learn how to be this kick ass business person with all these wonderful tricks and tools and, you know, mind hacks, which I hate the f*****g word mind hack. But as another discussion.   But something happened. It was if right then there was an aha moment. And that aha moment was what a bloody dick you are, Cluffy.   What a dick. It's not about you having mind hacks. It's not about you having all the tricks and things.   It's about changing who you were, and who I am, and seeing life differently. And I didn't jump, I didn't jump ship or do anything like that. But learning that hypnosis, and then an NLP with this different frame of mind, changed my life.   It was never on the horizon. But the effect was unreal. It did help kickstart my career.   But not in the way I thought about being manipulative and things like that. But being, you know, serving people, helping people in business, which is unheard of. You know, people used to try to do nasty things to each other, try to get the one up, you know, always be the better, try to, you know, cheat a little bit, I guess.   But just being kind and using these tools in a different way, changed my career. But it also added so many different things, because I'm here, aren't I? I've set up hypnosis clinics. I've become a trainer of NLP.   I train people to deal with trauma, become hypnotherapists. And I also got, and I'm still am, working with my two of my three sons. That's awesome.   Changed my life completely. But it was never on the horizon. Then there was another time, I remember this other time.   I was doing this, I was in my career, doing the stuff, that was okay. I'd had a few changes, and this is one I had to grasp. And then out of the blue, I got a phone call.   A phone call from a guy called Mark. I knew him, I knew him. And he said, Paul, I wondered if you can come and help me for a little while.   Just do a little bit of work at the weekend for me. Maybe just turn up on a Saturday and do this little job for me. I don't know, maybe four weeks, that's all.   And I thought, yeah, why not? Why not? It's different. Could do with a little bit of cash. And then it started to change a little bit.   So I talked to the guys around this new area. And it was a completely different area of the industry that I was in. It was part of something that I never, ever, ever thought I would ever be part of.   Didn't want to be part of it. It didn't seem right. Not in the way in my projectory, as it were, my plan projectory.   Cluffy's got a plan. And then out of the blue, again, Mark just said to me, do you know if, do you know anybody who would come and help me on a more permanent basis? And I looked at him and said, well, why are you asking me that? It just came out of my mouth. Why don't you ask me? And he said, well, you wouldn't do this, would you? Because it's, I know the type of work you've been doing.   And this is completely, completely off target, off track or whatever. He said, so I didn't want to ask you, but would you? And after a little bit of thinking, a little bit of chatting with the people involved in my life, I then thought, but why not? Why not? I've done everything else in this, this bloody industry. Why not take this little leap? Because I know this guy.   And he seemed, you know, I even checked his values, which is really weird, but his values were exactly the same as mine. And what happened? It led to 15 years of the second greatest job I've ever had. The first one is that training and working with, with people in therapy and things like that.   But it was the second greatest job I ever had. But it also did something else for me. It gave me a friendship.   And I never really had friendships at work. You have friendships, you know, but they're colleagues. But Mike was a friend, a true friend.   He supported me. If I was any, I had a few little wobbles occasionally, as we all do. And he was there for me.   Again, completely out of the blue. And you see, what I'm trying to say is, and this is where we're going to go on the deeper dive. This has been part of my personal work over the last few months, maybe longer, but I think it's over the last few months.   And I've come out with this question. Why do we think or why did I think the rest of our lives, my life has to be planned? And that rocked me. I'm going to repeat that one.   Why do we think, we, you and I think the rest of our lives has to be planned? Yeah, let that sink in for a moment. Because that's where I'm going on the deeper dive, discovering, finding direction. And I think you'll find it really interesting because it's changed my life.   And I think you'll get some golden nuggets from it, which will get

What Your Unconscious Mind Is Trying To Tell You Ever had that strange "ooh… I don't like that" feeling when nothing obvious seems to be wrong? I've been getting it more often while exploring questions about my life, my direction and my North Star. At first, it's tempting to push an uncomfortable feeling away, but what if that feeling is actually unconscious communication? In this deeper dive, we explore how the unconscious mind communicates through feelings, intuition, memories and emotional signals, and how becoming curious about an uncomfortable feeling can reveal what's underneath it. Rather than fighting anxiety, uncertainty or emotional resistance, I'm exploring a different approach: pause, listen, get curious, discover what you need, then choose your next step. There's also a simple process you can use to explore an uncomfortable feeling, discover what it may be trying to tell you, and decide whether you need to act—or simply give things time to settle. This is another part of my own journey of personal development, finding direction, trusting yourself and creating a more meaningful life. I'm learning as I go, and sharing the bloody journey with you. Don't suppress the signal. Get curious about it. Please share this episode: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/490-what-your-unconscious-mind-is-trying-to-tell-you If something in the episode stirs a question or challenge for you, email me at [email protected]. I read the emails personally. And if you're curious to see me recording this https://youtu.be/QqsuPtTs7OI Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism #490 What Your unconscious Mind Is Trying To Tell You     Welcome to this deeper dive. Hope you're well. Hope you're feeling good because I've got a a little question.   This has been happening to me a little bit more often than late and I thought it'd be a good time to to share because I'm sure you'd experience this type of thing too. It's that, you know, that feeling. What feeling is that Cloughie? Oh, nothing's really happened happened.   You know, you're not having a panic attack and you're not running all headless chicken type thing. Nothing's exploded. Nothing's gone.   You know, it's just, oh, oh, I don't like that feeling. Oh, I don't know. It's just happened.   It just comes along. See if you can resonate with this because this is where I tend to find I get these feelings come along out of the blue. It's, I find it when I'm writing my puzzle book, you know, asking a question.   And as I write the question down, I get that feeling. I just get that feeling. Or maybe it's, I don't know, making a decision.   I've got to make a decision about something. And while I'm thinking about it, it could be, I've known this to happen, that someone says something and it's not what they say, not the actual words as such, but it's maybe their tone. You know, the way they've said it.   You even get a look, don't you? Well, do you? I do. If someone looks at me in a particular way and I go, oh, I get that funny feeling. And it's like that word has maybe triggered something.   That look has triggered something. It's from the past. It's been anchored in the past.   And ah, I don't like it. They're like secret triggers because you don't know what's happening or what it is, but you know what's happening. Let's get it right.   You can even get it when you're driving past place or walking past. You're walking along and it's like your unconscious mind catches something in peripheral vision. I say that again, peripheral vision.   And you go, oh, it's like something is associated to something. But consciously, you're not quite sure what it is because you don't notice it because you notice the feeling first. You know, you can be thinking about something, just minding your own business, remembering something, and you get a feeling.   And this is where I've had it of late. And this is where it's all really come from is when you're considering a new direction and that feeling comes along and you don't know, is it something really bad? Or what is it? Because it's not, it's just an uncomfortable feeling. Have you had that? For me, it's normally just in the real pit of my stomach and it's just there.   Yeah. So have you had something like that? One or all of them? And what do we normally do? When you notice that feeling, what do we do? We go, oh, please make it stop. I don't like it.   I want to push it away. Remember I was saying, you know, you push it away, you push it down, trap it in a little box somewhere, hide it. It doesn't work that, does it? Because it tends to come back, doesn't it? Tends to come back a little bit and you go, oh, okay.   Maybe a little bit stronger. What would happen? Think about it. If we had a different response, what different response could we have? I'll tell you.   Let's just get bloody curious about the thing. Let's get interested in it. You see, it's not about this feeling not being right.   And it's not about this feeling must be, it's wrong. It's just, but what if I thought this? Interesting. Interesting.   Something's happened inside me. I wonder what I can learn from it. Wow.   All of a sudden, as soon as you say that, what can I learn from it? It's as if that feeling changes a little bit too. It's a bit like, oh, they're listening to me. And you see the meaning that you're attaching to that feeling, that negative, you think it's negative and that's why you're pushing it away.   But it may not be that. It may not be that at all. Because that's the meaning that you've consciously put on it.   And it's an unconscious signal. Yeah. Do you want to play? Do you want to play with me? Come on.   All you got to do is take a bit of time, take a bit of time out and play. It's not deep, but you're thinking about and remembering. So I want you to remember something.   I want you to remember a time when you did have a feeling like that. Not a mega, mega, mega one. No.   Ten was the worst. Zero. It doesn't exist.   A four out of ten, even a three out of ten. Something that you can remember it by. It's rememberable, if that's a word.   But it's not mega. Because I want you to, just for a moment, if it's okay, let's just be by ourselves. Because I want you to explore it.   Let's get curious. Let's get that thing interesting. Oh, what can I learn from this? But before we go into that bit, let's just notice, noticing it.   So where do you notice? Remember, bring that memory to mind now, where you felt it. Not what was going on, just the feeling. Recall that feeling.   Where do you notice it? Not externally, internally. Where do you notice it? As I said about minds, normally they're just a pit in my stomach. And as you remember that, just remember it.   If you could, and you can, put all your attention right there. That's it. All your attention right there.   What do you know? And now we can just notice all sorts of things. Does it have a size? What size is it? If it did have a size, what size would it be? Because it's there. Is it tiny, tiny, tiny? Maybe it's a tennis ball shape, or size, I don't know.   And the shape, is it round? Maybe when you think about it, and you really get into it, it's a bit more, it's not really round, it's more oval. Or maybe it's a bit more square. And when you really get into it, really get curious about it, does it move a little bit? Because sometimes you go, oh, it's actually just vibrating slightly.   That's how I noticed it. Yeah. What about its temperature? Is it warm? Is it cold? Does it have a temperature? Curious, isn't it? And get even more curious now.   Is there a pressure to it? Whatever that means, do you use it pushing, pulling? Is there a pressure? If you could know, and you could feel the edges of that, that feeling, would it have a texture? Does it have a texture? I've known feelings to have a slight direction. And when you really get into it, there's always an intensity, isn't there? Doesn't have to be mega, as I said, but there is, oh yeah, I can feel it now. I can feel it.   It has been moving. It's even got a colour now. Oh yeah.   And you see, you are now owning this as well, because you're describing it to yourself. And when you describe the

Why That Uncomfortable Feeling Might Be Trying To Tell You Something Ever had that strange "oof… something doesn't feel right" feeling? Not necessarily panic or major anxiety, just an uncomfortable feeling that seems to arrive from nowhere. I've been noticing more of these feelings while sitting with my puzzle book, asking questions and exploring my own search for a new direction. And I've started wondering whether these feelings are actually signals from the unconscious mind, rather than something we should simply push away. The usual response is to ignore it, distract ourselves or try to make the feeling disappear. But what if there's something useful underneath it? What if that uncomfortable feeling is trying to tell us something? In this FMQ, I explore unconscious communication, anxiety, emotional signals, intuition, decision making and personal change, and sow the seed for a deeper look at how we can work with these feelings rather than fighting them. The longer episode will take this further and explore how we might understand what our unconscious mind is really trying to communicate. And, as always, this is part of my own ongoing exploration of finding my direction and creating a more meaningful life. I'm sharing what I discover as I go, because maybe what I'm learning can help you with your own journey. Don't push. Pause. Listen. If this resonates, subscribe or follow the podcast so you don't miss the deeper dive. And as usual, share it to another https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq541-why-that-uncomfortable-feeling-might-be-trying-to-tell-you-something If you want to see me recording this https://youtu.be/CMxwK9U1OEQ Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism   Hey, have you ever had an oof? That's not a nice feeling.   Had that? I really wanted to share something with you because I know it means a lot to me about this particular bit because I've talked a lot about puzzle books. And you know how much I love my puzzle books. The sitting down, the thinking, the asking myself questions.   And I've been spending a lot of time asking questions. And what I do, sometimes it can show that type of feeling. Or that feeling can suddenly come from apparently nowhere, being triggered.   You know, it's not the most horrible, horrible, horrible feeling. It's not like panic and things like that. It might be, but we'll talk about that.   But it's just a, ooh, that's just a weird feeling. You know, for me, it's generally in my gut area. And it just feels off, as if I've been knocked off balance a little bit.   As if to say, oi, Cloughie, I get that when I'm journaling too. Do you? If you journal, that is. You start journaling and you're right in a way.   And then some bit of inspiration comes, maybe. Or you're thinking about doing something and you're explaining it to yourself. And then, without warning, that triggers this weird feeling.   It's a negative feeling. It's just not nice. And in fact, when you think about it, when I thought about this, that's why I wanted to share it, is in fact, virtually anything could trigger off these type of things.   I notice those more often because I'm by myself. I'm, you know, sitting with my puzzle book by myself, considering stuff, asking questions, or journaling by myself. But in fact, if you think about it, music, that tune, that song, can just trigger a weird feeling.   Maybe it's the look of someone's face. It's the way they look at you, not the look of someone's face. The way they look at you could just trigger off a feeling.   Maybe it's a word. Or maybe, I've even known it, when you're either walking past a place or driving past a place, you start to think of something. Suddenly that memory gives you that feeling.   And I've been having it a little bit more often now because I've been going through maybe the last six podcast episodes, talking about and sharing about my search for change. I've been talking about a North Star, a new direction. Maybe you're having that too.   Or maybe you eventually will have the need to change direction. You know, something happens intuitively and you go, this is the right time. And then, ooh, because in this, for me, seeking change, a new direction, that's brought a lot of oohs.   Ooh, I don't like that feeling. So, can you relate to that maybe? Can you think of times when, unexpectedly, you just had, let's call it a weird feeling. We know it's negative, but it's not major, but it's something there.   And you can't explain it. You know, it could be a full run of things like panic attack, but generally, there might be a little bit of anxiety in there, a little bit of worry, a little bit of that type of, I'm not sure, what is this? You just can't explain it. And you see, I take it as a signal, a signal from my unconscious mind, saying, hey, Cloughie, but that's about it at the time.   And what do we do? What was the normal thing that nearly everybody does? We try to push that feeling away, don't we? Because it's not the nicest feeling in the world. It's a little bit horrible. It's messy.   I want to push it away. Go away. I don't want to know.   We try to ignore it, don't we? And the more we push it away, the more we ignore it. Guess what? It gets louder. It gets bigger.   It comes back at us. Because I believe it's a signal from our unconscious mind saying, hey, I've got something for you. But it's just in a weird, weird way of communicating, isn't it? Now, there is a thought, and I use it myself, and I've taught it, is to sit with that feeling.   Don't push it away. Just sit with it. Put your mind, as it were, in the center of that emotion, where it is in your body.   And just sit there. Acknowledge it. Don't try to change it.   Sometimes the process will be to explore its qualities, which is weird. You know, what color is it? Does it have a shape? Does it move around? Does it have a temperature? Is it rough or smooth? Does it pulse? Just to get to know the sub-modalities of it, the qualities of it. And sometimes doing that, it will either just disappear because you've acknowledged it, or you might get an indication of what it means, what it's trying to say to you.   But sometimes you don't. And I think there's a better way. There's a better way to learn.   And I've been learning different things, as I say, through my quest for a new direction in my life. And when you think about it, new directions can be pretty major, a little bit like my re-looking for the qualities of a North Star, a new direction. Or it could be just a decision you're making.   And there's a whole spectrum of thoughts that would create this. But what would happen if there was a better way? A better way to understand. A better way to learn.   A better way to have your unconscious mind let you know what it's trying to do for you, because it will be positive. It just doesn't feel good at that time. But what would happen if it could really find out what your unconscious mind is trying to say to us? Well, that's what I want to share with you on the deeper dive, because I know I've been talking about lots of different ways of finding your direction, asking questions.   All these steps along the way for my new direction and what I'm finding and sharing. And what I thought was, well, I haven't told you about those feelings. And it's important, I think, before we start to keep moving on in these new ways and what comes along on this adventure of life, as it were.   So on the next longer podcast, I want to dive a little bit more deeper into understanding your unconscious mind, how it's communicating with you through these feelings, so we can then just let them go, because we understand. Intuitively, we will know. And I think, well, that was important to me, to help me move forward.   It was like a blockage. You're trying to make a decision, and there's something weird, but you can't make it out. It's just like a blockage, something you can't see.   You can't grasp. And I want you to be able to see the answers, grasp the answers, and understand and make great decisions for yourself. So come with me, if that's of interest.   I think it'll be really interesting. What we'll discover, what we'll find, and ways to work with your unconscious mind, because it's

You know what you want. You probably know what you need to do. You may even have the knowledge, experience and tools to make it happen. So why aren't you doing it? That was the question that stopped me in my tracks. In this deeper dive, I explore a surprisingly useful way of getting unstuck: What would someone who has already achieved what I'm trying to achieve do? It's not about comparing yourself with someone who is supposedly "better" than you. It's about modelling success—discovering the behaviours, beliefs, decisions, habits and ways of thinking that already work, then making them your own. We look at some of the things that can quietly stop us taking action: limiting beliefs, fear of failure, perfectionism, anxiety, self-doubt, identity and that nagging internal voice telling us we shouldn't, couldn't or aren't good enough. And then we turn the question into a practical process you can use with your own goals, projects and dreams. You don't have to become somebody else. You can borrow their eyes, discover what works, and turn it into your way of doing things. Because perhaps you know more than you think you know. And perhaps you don't need the whole path. You just need to discover the next step. In this episode Why knowing what to do doesn't always lead to taking action The question that stopped me in my tracks How to use modelling to achieve your goals The difference between copying someone and learning from them How limiting beliefs and fear of failure can keep you stuck What your internal dialogue might be telling you A practical process for discovering what you're not doing How to identify what successful people consider "obvious" Turning someone else's successful patterns into your own Why you don't need the whole path—just the next step The question to take away What would someone who has already achieved the thing I'm trying to achieve do? Then take it one step further: What are they doing that I'm not doing? And finally: If I knew what they knew, what would I do next? Not tomorrow. Not someday. Next. And probably add in a share or two of this episode https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/489-what-would-someone-whos-already-done-it-do See me recording this here  https://youtu.be/mbKbM2Cu4Rw Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism . Personal development unplugged. Hey my friend, if you listen to the FMQ, the question that stopped me in my tracks, this is a deeper dive going into that question. And it's not about how you achieve your goals or anything like that, not at all.   Something even deeper, more subtle than that and I think it will get you on the path you need to be. Because that's what it's all about, isn't it? Finding our path and treading it gently, making our life richer. That's what I think.   So I think this is, and that new question, is a bit of the missing puzzle or a piece of the missing. Or missing, that's a better way to put it Cloughie, the missing piece of a puzzle. If you already know what you want and you already know a lot about how to get it, then the question might be, this is a different question, why aren't you doing what you know? Why haven't you got it yet? That's interesting, isn't it? Why aren't you just doing it? Because you know what you want and you've got some good knowledge, haven't you? Because I want to move from knowing and I want to move that through just, I don't know, maybe something like, what would I do differently if I knew how? Because that would make a difference, wouldn't it? In fact, you could even change that to an even richer question.   Something we can really dive into, which is, what's stopping me doing that now? So it's not, what would I do differently if I knew how? But what's stopping me doing that right now? You see, if you remember from that five minute quickie, I was listening to the Chris Williams podcast, Modern Wisdom. And he said something, because he loves his quotes, doesn't he? He loves his little memes because they're so good, they're condensed. They make you remember things.   And this one really stuck me. It like, I was walking and I just stopped, literally stopped in my tracks. And I started searching, searching for an answer.   Because it was that, I thought it was just that powerful. It's so simple, so easy. It just went inside and I did my little search in all the different areas of my brain.   Because I knew this stuff. I don't think I ever told you that question, did I? A question that actually froze me, dropped me in the tracks. I'm going to give it to you now and then we'll go right into it.   And the question was, well, I'll tell you in a minute. You see, I know that you've been searching. I know that you know your stuff.   I know that you've got experience. It was all the things that were going through my head, telling myself. I know my stuff, I've got experience.   I've actually got tools. We've got tools here, haven't we? We've got hypnosis tracks, NLP tracks. We've got over a thousand episodes here.   Got the tools. And for me, I was thinking, I even teach or I've taught this stuff. I've shared it.   And in my particular bit, I was thinking, yeah, so why aren't I doing it? Does that relate to you? Because you've got the, you know the stuff. You've got the experience. You know your tools.   You've got them. You can come and get them here. Why aren't you doing what you want to do? Here's a question.   What would someone better than you do in relation to that thing you're not doing? What would someone better than you do? That f*****g hurt. That did. That really did.   Ouch. I thought, yeah, that gave me all those thoughts. What would somebody else do better than you? And I thought to myself when I got back, I don't think that's the right question.   And I wanted to challenge it. Something in my head kept saying, I think there's a better way to ask this question. And if you ask it in a better way, I think you get better results.   But certainly that made me jolt. It gave me that. But when you think of the word better, does that mean more successful? Does it mean more experience? Does it mean more confident? Yeah.   More knowledgeable? Maybe even more courageous? Who knows? And I thought, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's when I think of something better than me, sometimes I get that brought me down a little. But then I thought, let's simplify this.   Into, and I love the word simply. You know that we've talked about when you put the word simply in front of things. It just makes it so easy to slip inside.   So I came up with this thing. It's simply somebody who has already achieved the thing that you're trying to achieve. That's it.   What would somebody who has already achieved the thing you're trying to achieve do? Wow. And that just made it so much better. Because if I want to become a better podcast, I want to be a better artist.   I want to be a better me. I want to be better at finding my North Star, all that stuff. I don't need someone who's better than me as a human being.   There's a lot of them around, but I don't need that to inspire me. I need to ask, what does someone who is already brilliant at this, this thing, what do they do that I don't? And now you see we've really hit the thing here. Going back to even NLP, your own linguistic program.   It's all about modeling. You model somebody without any ego, no baggage, no envy. A little bit of envy in the way I want to learn what you do.   But that's the only bit. You see, NLP was based on modeling how great performers got to be so great. Modeling, modeling them and then taking on their steps.   Maybe sometimes modifying it to become us. So let's look a little deeper. And I think we can.   I want to ask you a question. And this is what might come up from this. When you think about that question, somebody who has already achieved the thing you're trying to achieve.   What are you not doing? Think of that now. Maybe, maybe if you've got your little puzzle book out, you could write that question down and let the answer, or certainly let it flow after the answer. So what are you doing? What are you not doing? So it's not what you don't know.   It's what you aren't doing. And that's a massive difference. Because you know, I know that

A Question That Stopped Me In My Tracks Have you ever heard a question that made you stop dead? Not because you didn't understand it. Quite the opposite. Because you understood it too well. That's what happened to me. I was listening to Chris Williamson on the Modern Wisdom podcast when he asked a question that stopped me in my tracks. And almost immediately I started searching for an answer. Not because I didn't know the answer. I did. And that was the bloody interesting bit. I realised that knowledge wasn't my problem. Action was. I knew what I wanted. I knew some of the things I needed to do. I've been doing this personal development stuff for long enough to have a pretty good toolbox. So why wasn't I acting? That question took me somewhere much more interesting than I expected. It got me thinking about my own search for meaning, direction, purpose and my North Star. It made me wonder about the dreams, goals and desires we have — and what might actually be stopping us from moving towards them. Because perhaps sometimes the problem isn't that we don't know what to do. Perhaps there's something underneath that knowledge quietly saying: "Not yet." And that's where things like limiting beliefs, emotional blockages, self-doubt and our internal voice can start to show themselves. What happens when you see opportunity differently? In this FMQ, I start exploring what might happen if we could make our dreams and goals: Bigger Brighter Richer Quicker And, perhaps most importantly, more enjoyable to pursue Because achieving something isn't the whole story, is it? How we experience the journey matters too. I want to explore how the way we see the world, the things we believe about ourselves and that little voice inside our heads can influence whether we actually take action. And I've got a feeling that question might give us a rather useful way of uncovering what's getting in the way. This is the seed... This is a Five Minute Quickie, so I'm deliberately leaving the question hanging. I'd like you to think about something you're working towards right now. Perhaps it's: Work. Health. Relationships. A project. A dream. A goal. Or simply letting go of something that's been holding you back. Write it down if you can. Don't solve it yet. Just bring it with you. Because in the longer Deeper Dive, we're going to explore the question properly and see whether we can turn it into a practical process for uncovering what's stopping us — and perhaps finding a better way forward. And who knows? Maybe your answer will surprise you. That's certainly what happened to me. Have a think. And enjoy every heartbeat. Please Share and pay it forward https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-540-a-question-that-stopped-me-in-my-tracks And if you want to see m,e recording this https://youtu.be/QM19D4Hzu8I 🎧 Listen to the Deeper Dive If this question has already started rattling around inside your head, don't leave it there. Come with me into the next longer episode where we'll explore the question properly and see what it can teach us about taking action, overcoming limiting beliefs and moving towards the life we actually want. About Personal Development Unplugged I'm Paul Clough, and for years I've been exploring NLP, hypnosis, personal development, confidence and the wonderfully strange workings of the human mind. These days, I'm becoming increasingly interested in something beyond simply fixing problems. How do we create a life we actually want to experience? That's the conversation I'm having with myself — and with you. 🎁 Free Hypnosis Tracks If there's something getting in the way of your confidence, goals or personal development, I've created a growing collection of free hypnosis tracks that you can explore. Find them at: paulcloughonline.com/podcast Connect With Me I'd genuinely like to know what this question does to you. What did it make you think about? And more importantly... What do you already know you should be doing — but aren't doing? Drop me a line: [email protected] Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism         Welcome to this five-minute quickie with me, Paul, Paul Clough. I had a question that stopped me right in my tracks. It was thrown out by, I say thrown out, by a guy called Chris Williams of the Modern Wisdom podcast.   Now, if you haven't subscribed to that one, I'd subscribe because it is bloody, bloody good, really is. But let's get back to the story. You see, have you had that experience where you hear something or you see something, someone asked you a question and boom, it stops you in your tracks and somehow the words don't come out and you go and search for an answer.   If you look at people doing this, their eyes go in all different directions. It's called a trans-derivational search in NLP terms, but you look everywhere for the answer. It's like going into the place we call the void to try to find something.   And this question, well, it stopped me in my tracks, but made me think. I love questions that make me think. It made me think about my search for meaning, my North Star, my direction, you know, my redesign, as it were, finding my new way, my path.   And you see, it got me so much. I was so excited about this question. I shared it.   It's good to share. It's good to share. I shared it with two of my sons and they were blown away by it.   Made them think. And as we talked about it, we got the same type of reactions, but I wasn't happy just to use that one question. I wanted to find out why, even knowing the answer to that question was triggering me.   You see, I wasn't doing the answers to the question and I had knowledge. I know a lot about it. As soon as that question came along, I was starting to think of different answers.   So knowledge wasn't the problem. It was action, wasn't it? I wasn't acting. So something must be stopping me.   So you have to have a little think, I guess. And that's where the longer, deeper dive comes into. And that's where we're going to go next, because I think you'll find it really exciting.   See, I want to explore that question and how we, you and I, might use it to really get our dreams, our goals, our desires, or basically anything you want quicker. Maybe we can get them a little bit bigger, you know, dream bigger. Maybe we'll get them even brighter, so they're even richer.   Maybe we'll get them even quicker. Did I say quicker? Maybe get in there just a little bit quicker. And most importantly, enjoy the process of all of that.   Can you imagine doing that? What would it be like if you could think of ways to make your dreams, goals, desires, become bigger, brighter, come along quicker? And how would you be in the world? Think about it. How would you see the world? How would you see the world through your eyes? I think you'd start to see it with more opportunity, wouldn't you? And when you see things with more opportunity and you believe in yourself with the opportunity, you start to believe in your competence, which gives you the confidence to really step out. What would that feel like? I mean, what would you say to yourself inside? What would your internal voice be? I don't think it would be that, oh, I'm not really good enough, or I'm not sure, or maybe what happens if I fail, or maybe, you know, I shouldn't be here.   I shouldn't be thinking, you know, who am I to think of these dreams, these goals, desires? No, I think you'll think, you know, I've got this. I deserve this. I'm going to get it.   I'm so lucky I get the opportunity. That's what goes in my head. What goes in your head? What would the inner voice say? And when you put what you see, how you see the world, you filter the world, all those opportunities, you've got that good feeling, you've got that great internal voice, you'd probably have some really powerful, positive beliefs that support you, wouldn't it? Wouldn't you? Just think about them all now.   Now you see, all of that got me, and I wanted to explore what stops us following those answers? What stops us getting into that wonderful way of being, seeing opportunities, having supportive beliefs, feeling so competent and confident in the world, achieving things, getting rid of things like limiting beliefs, because that's what we have, don't we? We have hold ups, we have emotional blockages, we have limiting beliefs, and if we can discover them because of this question, then I think we might be onto something. Might not be the whole panacea of getting everything, but I think it'll go a long, long way. Take a pause

You're Not Who You Think You Are Who the f*ck am I? That was the question that dropped into my head while I was sitting with my puzzle book. And what started as a bit of quiet thinking took me somewhere I didn't expect. We often confuse who we are with what we do. I'm a therapist. I'm a parent. I'm a partner. I'm successful. I'm anxious. I'm confident. But those are roles, behaviours and experiences. They aren't necessarily our identity. So who are we underneath all of that? I started thinking about Superman, Spider-Man, Batman and Wonder Woman. They all have different identities, different roles and different ways of showing up in the world, but underneath the costume there's something deeper: values, purpose, a calling and a direction. And perhaps that's true for us too. In this episode, I explore identity, self-discovery, personal growth, purpose and finding your North Star, along with a simple process for meeting the different versions of yourself and asking one rather interesting question: Which one is pretending to be you? I also share how my puzzle book has become a surprisingly powerful tool for thinking, asking better questions, exploring the unconscious mind and finding my way through change. This isn't me teaching you who you are. It's me sharing what I'm discovering about myself and inviting you to explore alongside me. Because maybe we're not here to find ourselves once and for all. Maybe we're here to keep discovering who we're becoming. Enjoy every heartbeat. What You'll Explore Why we can confuse our roles and behaviours with our identity The difference between what you do and who you are How self-discovery can reveal parts of ourselves we've overlooked Why values and purpose may matter more than rigid goals Finding your calling and personal direction My North Star approach to personal development A simple process for exploring the different versions of yourself How a puzzle book can help uncover thoughts, ideas and unconscious insights Why leaving a question unfinished can sometimes be surprisingly useful How to use curiosity and reflection for personal growth A Question For You Which version of you is pretending to be you? And perhaps the more interesting question: Who's noticing them all? Don't forget to share or should I say REMEMBER to share this episode https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/488-youre-not-who-you-think-you-are And if you want to me recording this episode https://youtu.be/B1Ci7953cME Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism   So, welcome to this longer podcast with me, Paul. You're not who you think you are. Sometimes the roles we mistake for ourselves.   You see, the other night I had a conversation with my puzzle book. Yeah, I speak to my puzzle. My puzzle book speaks to me.   And I sat there. Sometimes you sit there and you just have to wait for something to arrive and then completely out of nowhere, the question just appeared. And it was, who the f**k am I? Simple as that.   Who the f**k am I? You see, it wasn't in a desperate way. It was a genuine question of me asking myself. Because sometimes, as we say, the roles we have or we think we have are a mistake.   A mistake of how we recognize. A long, not a long time ago, a little while ago on an FMQ and a longer podcast, I talked about behavior, the behaviors and the roles that we think we have. You see, sometimes, I mean, I used to say, I was a therapist.   I'm a therapist. I am a therapist. I'm a hypnotist.   I'm a parent. I'm a dad. And I'm none of those.   What do you call yourself? Who do you think you are? Who do you identify? Because none of those are what you are, who you are. They're just the roles that you play. And you see, it's just what you're doing.   It's not your identity. You're not your roles. I want to think about something.   You see, what came to mind while this bloody question got into my head was, what does Superman, Spider-Man, Batman, and even throw Wonder Woman in there, all have, all have in common? What do they have? Take a moment. That's what puzzle books do for you. They get you to think weird things.   And what do they have? They have two identities, don't they? One that the world sees, yeah? Everyone sees them from the outside. But there's another one. The one that they know private.   And that's what the puzzle book does for me. Get inside. But there's a twist, you see.   Neither are actually who they are. Clark Kent isn't bloody Superman. Superman isn't really Superman either.   Both are just expressions, aren't they? Peter Parker is Spider-Man, isn't he? Peter Parker. Bruce Banner is not the Hulk. And the Hulk is.   They're all trying to, I don't know, reconcile the parts of themselves. And there was this mixture going on in my head. And then I thought, this isn't about superheroes, even though I've written notes about them.   It's about integration. You see, I had another thought. Doesn't every superhero have a calling? They're not a goal, are they? It's not the goal.   They have a calling. You see, Spider-Man never says, my goal is. Have you ever heard him say that in the movies? No, of course you have.   Because he lives by value. You see, they're value and they have a great. Superman lives by service.   Batman, by justice. And a thought came up to me, and I've talked about my North Star. We've all have a North Star, a direction.   You see, my North Star, I started to think of goals, identity, direction, purpose. And it was as if I began to think about they're all joining together to become one being, one thing. Bloody me, Cluffy.   Yeah, that was surprising. All coming through this, this puzzle book, sitting down quietly, being suddenly jolted. Who the f**k am I? Why don't you do something with me? If it's okay, by the way, I'd like you to close your eyes.   Because I want to do a little process. Because even though we're doing conversations, I'm always going to include a process or two. So if it's safe to do so, you can close your eyes.   Maybe be undisturbed just for a little while. I want you to do some imagining. It'll be great.   So find a place where you'll be undisturbed if you can. Close your eyes. Take a moment or two.   Give yourself permission to explore. Be curious. Yeah.   And if not, bookmark this place. But if it's okay, take a nice in-breath. Allow your eyes to close as you breathe out.   Because I want you to use your imagining. See, I want you to imagine meeting all the different of yourself. So imagine now in front of you, the working, the career, what you've trained to see yourself, the work.   Maybe you're a parent. So see that version of you now, the parent. Or if you've been like a parent to sometimes take that role, don't we? So see that version of you, the work partner.   Meet that you, the notice what you know. And I guess we've all helped people in some way by talking, having a conversation, guiding, effectively being a coach. So see that version of you, the helper, the assistant.   And then we've all been frightened at one time or another in our life, haven't we? What about that frightened version? It doesn't have to be the big scary fright. Maybe we're a lank. We've been anxious about something.   We've been worried. See that version of you. See them walking, thinking, talking, notice everything about them.   But then there's a reverse of that, isn't there? There's that confident version of you. Confident because you're competent. You have skills and you carry out those skills so wonderfully well because you've learned them over time.   So see that confident version of yourself now. And from that confident version, maybe there's that successful version of you where you've just succeeded. Maybe there was a few obstacles in the way, but you got over them.   You were so successful. It doesn't have to be the biggest success in the world. There are big ones and there's little successes all throughout.   See that version of you, the version of you that's just successful. And then again, there's always a reverse of that. What about the version of you that's, let's say, failed just for the sake of it? You failed at doing something.   That could be a failure for not starting something, not finishing something, mayb

My Puzzle Book Asked Me One Question Who the f*ck am I? That was the question that suddenly popped into my head while I was sitting with my puzzle book. Not what do I do?, not what's my job?, not what role am I playing? — but who am I underneath all of that? It got me thinking about identity, behaviour, the different versions of ourselves we move through in life, and whether we sometimes mistake what we do for who we are. My puzzle book has become a simple way for me to explore these questions, especially when I'm trying to find my way through change. I write down a question, let it sit, and sometimes the answer appears when I'm not even consciously looking for it. And this one opened up a whole new conversation about identity, Superman, Spider-Man, the Hulk… and where all that took me. This is the seed. The longer, deeper dive takes the conversation much further. What if you stopped asking "What do I do?" and started asking "Who the f*ck am I?" or as the deeper dive goes in search of, "You're Not Who You Think You Are" Come and explore it with me and share what you learn; pay it forward https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-539-my-puzzle-book-asked-me-one-question Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism So, an interesting title to this 5 minute quickie Who the f**k am I? Or, you could say Conversations with my puzzle book Yeah, either will do Maybe the second one's... No, it's just me But anyway, I wasn't going to do this so quickly, but Last evening I was just sitting down with my puzzle book I'll explain what that really is, but I was sitting down with my puzzle book Just Waiting for something to come along, because I was Trying to get some ideas and then Nothing would come along And then a really interesting question popped Right out of nowhere Have you ever had that, when Something just suddenly pops in Not an aha moment It's just, ooh, where did that come from? And it was that question Who the f**k am I? And it wasn't like, who am I to do this or expect that It was just a question that came into my head So I had a Little think, just sitting there quietly, because the question's here This is my conversation So I started to think about Things like identities, which we've talked about Because you see Sometimes we link identities To what we do, our behaviours Our job And in that way Our identity would change, wouldn't it? Because everything you do, when you do it differently You know, now I'm a parent Now I'm a father Now I'm a this at work And then I'm a this, you know No you're not, they're just things you're doing They're not your identity That's the trouble, you see And we get into this realm of This is me And when you've got all those different identities going round I started to think, well, maybe this is what's coming up Who the f**k am I? But it It didn't seem to be that So I sat there a little bit longer This is like a A one-sided conversation, where nothing is happening I'm sitting there thinking, nothing is happening But then I started to think And recall Now if you've been here Listening to the longer episodes You'll notice that They've changed slightly from the What was, if you go back to the very early episodes They were all process driven How to deal with this, how to do that And now, yes, this process is still within the episodes But they're geared around the episode The content And the content's changed now to To like a sharing A sharing for me, what I'm searching for My difficulties, how I'm getting over them And it's not a diary It's a sharing so we can Both start to consider things And if you think about it, even the last Whether it was the last one or the one before that I'm still finding my way Where I explain how Things are changing in my life And then I started to think, well, maybe that's about my identity So maybe that's where this question's popping up Still finding my way Who the f**k am I? And then I started to To be able to write Write in that puzzle book Now what is a puzzle book? I'll let you know now You see, for me a puzzle book is purely a book A book, it could be a piece of paper It could be a f*g packet If one of those is, that's a cigarette packet That's an old English term I shouldn't have said that, yeah, it did, anyway But it's just a book that you can Put your thoughts down Puzzle books, you can puzzle about questions of your life Issues in your life, things that are happening And it's like an anchor, it's an anchor to me Because when I open that and I get my pencil Or pen and I just sit there Things like this come to mind Or I write a question down I want to Discover more about And sometimes I'll do a little bit and leave it And sometimes it's the leaving that is the thing Because it's unanswered or not completed And that buggers up your old unconscious mind Because it likes to finish So it goes away and helps you finish the question So when you come back to your puzzle book You start to get answers And sometimes I deliberately leave it open like that To get an unconscious answer Not in case I'm getting too conscious about this thing And it's a dance between conscious and unconscious So the puzzle book, I really suggest just get a book Because you can always go back to it and you flick through it So a piece of paper is okay But unless you're going to put them together A lovely puzzle book And they're so cheap because they're just a plain book Any size you want So that's a puzzle book I don't have any selling rights on puzzle books No, that was just silly But a puzzle book is a great thing to have But the thing is, while I was sitting there Back to the story, Cloughie This conversation I started to have this conversation with myself About who the f**k am I But the thing is I started to think about something quite random I started to think about Do you know what? Superman Spiderman The Hulk What was all that about? Now, I did explore that a lot more And I think there's a lot more to come So if you want to come with me And have a conversation about my conversation My talks, my conversation with the puzzle book About identity If that's something that's resonated with you now Who the f**k am I? Because it's good to explore Even if you know who you are Sometimes just below the surface There's an even richer source of learnings Where we really get to, let's say, find our way And I'm still searching for mine And I'm going to share the hell out of it with you But if that's something of real interest to you Please come with me on the longer, deeper dive Where we'll do, I think, something really interesting And explore Explore about the bloody Superman, the Spiderman, the Hulk And where it took me I think you'll find it really good And I'm sure I'm going to find a little process or two To put in there So we can really start to To find out who we are Where we feel solid in who we are Where we feel comfortable who we are You know, we're happy with who we are That's something you might want to think about Those questions Am I happy who I am? Do I know who I am? Now maybe it's other people who are giving me my identity Is it my behaviours giving me my identity? And that's not who I am So come with me on a lovely conversation On the next full, longer episode The deeper dive Press that subscribe button so you don't miss it Say that every time, don't know if you do But if you do, press the button And if this has sparked your interest I'm sure you have a friend who has a similar interest So share it with them too And then we can all find who the f**k we are That's what came out in a conversation It's the way I speak to myself in my head And it's done in a joking way I'm not having a pop at me I'm trying to spur myself on I think And it just comes out that way So I hope that hasn't offended you But I'm doing it in a very genuine, loving way If you can do that With a swear word You can, because I did Enjoy, have more fun than you can stand Enjoy every heartbeat as usual And I'll be in your head, in your ears With that longer, deeper dive to follow Enjoy, go fly We all need time to de-stress, don't we? We all need that space Everyone needs space Our own place of personal retreat And going to retreats are great But if you can't, why not have one in your mind? You know, if you don't go to that special place That stress just builds and builds and builds

Why Goals Stopped Working For Me — And What I Discovered Instead I've spent years setting goals, teaching goal setting and helping people turn dreams and desires into something they could actually achieve. And goals are bloody useful. They give us motivation, direction and something to move towards. But I eventually noticed something: sometimes you reach the goal and still think, "Is that it?" That was the clue for me. I realised I had been asking goals to give me things they were never designed to provide — meaning, purpose, direction, peace and a sense of belonging. So perhaps goals aren't the problem. Perhaps we're expecting too much from them. In this deeper dive I explore what happened when I started looking beyond goals and towards my own North Star — not as a destination, but as a direction for how I want to live and experience my life. There's also a simple reflective process to help you explore a goal you've already achieved and discover what you were really hoping it would give you. Because maybe life isn't about reaching the right destination. Maybe it's about learning how you want to travel. And, as I'm discovering for myself, that might be much closer to enjoying every heartbeat. In this episode Why goals are brilliant servants but terrible masters. What can happen when achieving a goal still leaves you asking, "Is this it?" The difference between achievement and meaningful experience. Why my North Star is becoming more about direction than destination. A simple process for discovering what you're really looking for through your goals. How goals, dreams and desires can become experiences rather than just milestones. If you've ever achieved something you thought would make you happy, only to find yourself wondering "What's next?", this one's worth a listen. And if you agree, please share the hell out of it with everyone you know :o) https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/487-why-goals-stopped-working-for-me and if you want to see me recording this in an unplugged way https://youtu.be/DAJM7ROz8vk Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism       So, the longer deeper dive. Why goals stop working for me? Well no, actually, what I discovered instead.   Because this isn't an episode about goals. It's changed. It's changed in a way that it's more about, I don't know, meaning.   There's more meaning to our lives than the structure of goals. And that's what it's all about. You see, there's something that goals can, will, never give us.   If you remember from the five minute quickie, you did watch or listen to the five that precedes this. I said, and I think it was sort of profound, what if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal, but because you're looking for something goals can never, or were never designed to do for you. Yeah.   Now, here's the thing, you're probably thinking, probably thinking, is this guy against goals then? Because what is personal development if it doesn't have an element of it as goal setting, goal achieving, having aims, desires, dreams. And yeah, goals are wonderful. Why are they wonderful? Well, they give you an aim in mind.   What are promises? What do goals promise you? In your head, with that intention of that goal, they give you an outcome, motivation. And this is what I found in my life, is by having goals, they have sometimes, quite often, unexpected items. Because between you and I, you are not intelligent enough, brainy enough to know exactly what you want.   And by the way, nor am I. But when you start working towards a goal, a dream, a desire, something you want, you have that wonderful intention, you have that motivation, you have that feeling inside. Sometimes we just attract or find new doors, new opportunities that just like synchronicity, come along. In fact, when I first started training in NLP, I wanted to do NLP.   And I went to see this guy and he said, no, you can't do NLP. First of all, you have to do hypnosis. I didn't want to do hypnosis, that's not part of my goal.   I want to do NLP to be really, really good at business. But when I got into hypnosis, man, changed my life 26 years ago. And counting, maybe 26 and a half now.   And I love it. It was never on my radar. It was not on the horizon.   It was, it wasn't to be seen. It helped me build businesses, not just the business I wanted to use NLP things for, but the goals helped me build businesses for NLP trainings, hypnosis clinics, doing coaching sessions, going around different countries and training people in trauma therapy. Man, if it didn't have a goal for one of those, and the options and the synchronicity, I wouldn't have done any of that.   Goals have helped me learn, I've learned so much. Because you don't realize when you have a goal, what you are going to learn, the experiences you have, the things you're going to take with you into the next one. It's that skill stacking, isn't it? And there's also that bit when you're down, when you're in a bad time, like I was.   If I didn't have a goal, certainly a goal to get out of it. But also mini goals within that period to help me find a way out, give me the leg up, give me the hand holes to climb out of that hole. I'd still be there now.   Or maybe not even be here in this planet Earth. So they really help you overcome difficult periods in your life. So when you think about it, goals are brilliant servants.   That's what they are. They're brilliant servants. But there's a but, and they don't normally use buts, but they are.   But they are terrible masters. And that's what you've got to think of. Servants, don't let them master your life, because that's what I discovered instead.   So the title says goals stopped working for me, they didn't. But I did discover something even deeper beyond goals. You see, sometimes when I've set goals in the past, and it does happen quite a bit sometimes, I hear that small voice.   That small voice which says, is that it? Set the goal, I've done the work, come out at that end, the ending of the goal. And even if the words didn't come as words, that's the feeling I got. Is this it? Is that all there is? Think about that.   Maybe you can think of examples in your life. You know, even think of the little goals like buyer's remorse. We've all had buying something we've wanted for ages.   And when we got it, is that it? When we've got promoted in that job, we've strived and strived and strived, striven. Is this all there is? Maybe you think, when I lose weight, I'm gonna have all that confidence. Do you? Sometimes, when you finish a project, and I've had this, there's a lot of my goals were projects.   And it's that strange emptiness. You know, it's now what? Because the chase has ended, hasn't it? The chase has ended. But the thing is, again, I've had some good goals, by the way.   And I still have that feeling sometimes, is that it? Unless I've, I realised it's a progression. The goal is not necessarily the singular destination. But the thing is, I discovered this.   I'd been asking the goals, the goals in my life to do a job they were never designed to do. So what am I really asking them? You see, a little bit of vulnerability here. I want to say just lately, but it's been a good six, nine months, even.   I think I started this additional work on myself, call it additional, but new work on myself. Because things were changing in my life. Different structures, we've talked about structures and freedom and all this stuff, all come through this path I'm beginning to tread.   And I've been seeing my life changing. And they're changing as if there's no goals. But there's, even there was a few goals.   I was just trying too hard. And things weren't gelling for me. You know, the now what? Is this all there is? So instead of asking those goals to do a job for me, maybe I was looking for something different.   And this is what I was looking for. And you might get this. What I was really asking was to find purpose, to find direction, to find meaning, peace.   That was a big one. And belonging. Because things changing in your lives, these things allow you to bring things together.   You see, goals can can produce achievements. But they can't produce things on their own. It co

Why Goals Stopped Working For Me We all need goals. They give us direction, motivation and something to aim for. I've spent years teaching goal setting, visualisation, Timeline Therapy and even a little Law of Attraction. Goals work... but I discovered they weren't the whole story. A while ago something felt off. I was achieving what I'd set out to do, yet there was still a quiet feeling that something was missing. It wasn't about fear of failure or limiting beliefs. It was something much deeper. In this Five Minute Quickie I share the beginning of that discovery and ask a question that completely changed the way I now think about success and fulfilment. What if you don't need another goal? What if you're asking goals to give you something they were never designed to provide? In the next longer episode I'll share what I discovered, how it changed my direction, and why it became such an important part of my own personal development journey. If you've ever reached a goal and still wondered, "Is this really it?" then this episode is for you. In this episode you'll discover: Why achieving goals doesn't always create fulfilment. The hidden feeling many people experience after reaching success. The question that changed my thinking. Why the deeper answer isn't another goal. A preview of the next Deep Dive episode. Subscribe so you don't miss the next episode where we'll explore what I found instead. And share with a friend or two so they don't miss out too: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-538-why-goals-stopped-working-for-me And if you want to see me recording this https://youtu.be/wMVSjF8Hthk Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism FMQ Why Goals Stopped Working For Me I want to share something personal with you. A little while ago, a little while ago, something felt off. Something just didn't feel right in my life.   The thing is, what I'm trying to say is, I want to rewind that slightly because we all need goals in our life, don't we? Aims, desires, even dreams. We need them all, don't we? And don't get me wrong, this is not a goal setting workshop or anything like that at all. You see, for years, I used to have loads of goals, dreams, visualisations, you name it, I had them.   I even taught goal setting. I taught putting goals in the future. I did it with my clients.   Timeline therapy. I even did a little bit of the law of attraction because they're all intertwined, aren't they? And they do all have a purpose, but, and it's the but, I felt something was missing. You know, getting goals helped me.   Yeah, yeah, they did. They helped motivate me. They felt good for a time.   But after a while, say a little while ago, I wasn't truly fulfilled. You know, getting the goals is one thing, but it just didn't, well, I don't, it just didn't make me feel right. There was something missing.   I didn't know what it was. Well, not then. Does that resonate with you a little bit? Can you remember? Well, I'll explain the feeling I had.   And maybe you, it'll resonate with you. Maybe you can remember the type of feelings that you've had. I just felt hollow inside.   Yeah, I was pleased with what I was doing. But again, it was just there was something maybe out of reach. Something, you know, I said unfulfilling, but I could look back over my life and say, Yeah, you've had a fulfilling life, Cloughie.   Yeah, there's ups and downs and some big downs. And yes, big ups. But really, I couldn't put my hand on it.   I couldn't grasp what was missing. Not then. Sometimes by the vision I was looking through my eyes in internally, I guess, was a bit blurred.   Because I couldn't quite see the direction I wanted to go in. Something was missing. It really was.   Now, I know, sometimes we can put that to things like fear of success, fear of failure. You've even got things like, I'm not good enough, all those limiting beliefs, you know, I shouldn't be here. What if they find me out? And we can deal with those.   And we will deal with those. You see, there are things that prevent us having goals, getting our dreams, getting that getting our desires. And I've got 60 plus hypnosis tracks for you completely free.   Well, complimentary is a better way of saying it. Just go to paulcluffonline.com forward slash podcast and have what you like. And if there's anything that you require help in, in achieving your goals, or something is stopping you and you want to let go of the block, you get in touch with me.   Feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com and we'll sort out things for you. That's my email address, by the way. Just let me know.   But that's not what I'm talking about, really, because we can get the goals, but I was getting my goals. But that unfulfilled feeling. It's a little bit like getting somewhere and going, is that it? Is that all there is? And even started affecting me in looking at my life.   Is that all there is here? And what's next? Because I can keep doing the same thing over again, but will it change this feeling? And you see that even affects our beliefs, isn't it? We've got those limiting beliefs, even on those goals. But you know, that unfulfilled feeling begins to give you limiting beliefs. And a bit like, is that all there is? What's is it worth it? And then about yourself? Maybe I'm not good enough.   Maybe I'll just get it wrong. Maybe I'm a failure. And then the values that we hold so dearly sometimes start to get just rocked a little bit.   And that ultimately affects our identity, the identity that we we believe we have. But, and this is the but, so that was pretty down. But this is the but.   What if? What that lovely question? What if? What if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal? Oh, that's different, isn't it? I'll say that again. With that wonderful question. What if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal? But because you're looking for something goals were never designed to do? Have a think about that for the moment.   I'm going to give you a little bit of time to think about it anyway. Because on the deeper dive, the next episode, I'll tell you what I discovered instead, because I found the answer. And I'll take you through my personal journey, my adventure of of what happened.   And I'll share with you, hopefully the things that get you thinking that, yeah, I can have that too. That resonates with me. I'll come along with Cloughie.   Because this is a personal sharing. And I hope you hope it helps. Because you know, I want to support you in your dreams, your goals, your desires.   And all the things that maybe stop you getting them and all that. The process is stuff. But there's also the deeper thing, the deeper thing that I discovered.   I think it'll make a huge difference. So do press that subscribe button, follow button. So when then it'll be next week, the next episode, when the next episode, the deeper dive, the hashtag, deeper dive comes along, it'll come on your listening device, just like that, without you thinking.   And then we can have a wonderful conversation together. Because this is what these are all about now, having a conversation and sharing of things I've learned along the way. And hopefully, it'll save you having to go through what I've gone through.   So I'll see you next time on the deeper dive, or just have a think. I'll just repeat that question one more time. What if the reason you keep setting goals isn't because you need another goal? It's because you're looking for something goals were never designed to do.   That's deep, isn't it? Have a good think of that. And I'll see you next time. Bye bye.   Time to fly my friend. Enjoy every heartbeat.  Transcribed by TurboScribe. Go Unlimited   Personal development [self improvement] [self development] [NLP] [Hypnosis]

I'm Still Finding My Way – Why You Don't Need Your Old Self Back Have you ever caught yourself saying, "I just want the old me back"? I know I have. I've heard it from hundreds of clients too. It sounds comforting because we believe our old self represents certainty, confidence and stability. But what if that's not really what we're looking for? In this deeper dive I explore an idea that completely changed the way I see personal development. Instead of chasing an old version of ourselves—or even trying to discover some perfect "real me"—perhaps we're simply finding our way. Because your way changes as you change. I'll share part of my own journey through depression, identity and the work I've been doing around my North Star. Together we'll explore why identity isn't somewhere you arrive, but something that keeps unfolding, and I'll guide you through a simple reflective process to help you reconnect with the qualities that have always been part of you. If you've ever felt lost, uncertain or caught between who you were and who you're becoming, I hope this episode helps you realise that maybe you haven't lost your way at all. In this episode you'll discover: Why wanting your "old self" back may be keeping you stuck. The difference between identity and the qualities that never leave you. A simple "Museum of Selves" exercise to reflect on every version of your life. Why your future isn't about becoming someone different, but continuing to unfold. Practical journal questions to help you take your next small step. Remember... You're not going backwards. You're still finding your way. And your way changes as you change. If this episode resonates, please share it with someone who needs to hear it: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/486-im-still-finding-my-way/ and if you'd like me to explore a particular challenge, email me at [email protected]. Oh! And there's a video of me recording this. It's rough and ready because that's all it needs to be https://youtu.be/hWcLgtawcp0 Until next time... Have more fun than you can stand. Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism     So the longer podcast, we're back again for the deeper dive, the deeper dive. And if you listen to the FMQ, the seed of this longer podcast, I hope you did listen. It was, I would just want my old self back.   But I thought to myself, that's not really the thing. The more I thought about what we're going to be talking about, I got a different idea. You see, it's more about finding my way, finding your way, and why you don't want your old self back.   Now that's a completely counterintuitive, turn it on its head spin, isn't it? Think about this. Have you ever caught yourself saying something like this? I just want the old me back. I know I have.   I've heard it hundreds of times from virtually every one of my clients. We go through the problem, I said, what do you want? And instead of I want more confidence, I want this. I just want my old me back.   And that's been a generalisation. But since ever, I've been working with clients, seems to be the goal that some want. And I don't think you do though.   I really don't think you do. You see, I thought that's what I wanted. I really did.   And guess what? It wasn't at all. That's not what I wanted. I realised something completely different.   You see, I think there are three identifying, or not, say it again, Paul, three identities that we have. And they're usually, I say that word again, too, usually edited, they're filtered, filtered for all the good bits. Oh, it was so good back then.   You know, they're usually romanticised and very often, totally incomplete. If you're thinking about this, you know, the real self, what do you think these deeper values might be? The real you, the real self, what are your deeper values? Because these are the qualities that remain. They're constant.   You see, for me, there's a mixture. Could be curiosity, being curious of what I want, what's available, how I find it. There's kindness.   Talked so much about kindness. Creativity. You know, really getting into those creative juices.   And you don't have to be an artist. You don't have to be a writer. It's just creatively thinking about you, the world, and other people.   There's humour. Some people don't get mine, but I've got a bit of humour. But there's humour.   And there's love. Soppy. But there's love.   Love for life. Love for your friends, your family, and love for you. And those qualities I was thinking was, you know, they all survive.   They survive things like depression. They survive things like change. And changes can be weird, can't it? You see, this is all about, not the old you, but the emerging you.   The emerging self. But it's the emerging you. It's the person you're becoming.   You're not finishing. You're not getting to a point and then starting again. No, it's not fixed.   It's fluid. It's always evolving. Yeah, you get that? And to me, this is where I got this from, because it was all from my personal North Star work that I've been working on over the last, I don't know, six months, maybe a year.   But it's certainly the six months and I'm going to go through that in different podcasts. These are the type of values I've been looking for behind that romanticised old me. Now, here's the thing.   Forget the old romanticised old self, because you don't need it. You don't want it. Yes, I do, Cluffy.   I do. No. This is what I think you want.   You want to have a confidence and a competence, you know, in a feeling of, I can do this. And you know, you're right. You're not overconfident.   You want certainty. Everybody wants a little bit of certainty. And it's difficult in this ever changing world, but have some certainty about yourself.   You want a bit of energy. And above all, we always want, and your unconscious mind wants it for you, safety. Yeah.   And we always, when I say romanticise, we always associate with that period in the past, different things, not those. Or maybe we just, you know, take the good bits out. Now, let me tell you a story.   True story. My story. A long time ago, I was in a very deep black hole.   Emotionally, very broken. I had brief thoughts of, you know, do I really want to be on this little old planet earth anymore? No, only brief, but it was that low. I never realised you could get that low.   I've talked about it before. I'd worked with people who went to the bottom of the barrel, because I always used to think you have to get to the bottom of the barrel before you start changing. But this was something affecting me in my life.   And suddenly, everything had disappeared on me. And I was trying everything. I was being my own therapist, going through every blooming thing I could think of, because all I was looking for was the old Paul.   The old Paul. I was desperate to find the old me. And then I had this little breakthrough.   I didn't want the old Paul back. I really didn't. Because it didn't fit.   The old Paul was part of that old problem. I was part of the choosing of creating that black hole. I was part of that depression.   I was part of that breakdown. And even chasing that real me. You know, I wanted the real me, the real me.   And that became another destination. Oh, who's the real me? I was chasing and chasing now another, say, another direction, another destination. Another identity, as it were.   Then I came to another aha moment. And what it was, and it's so simple. I'm just still finding my way.   That's all it is. I'm finding my way. And my way changes as I change.   That's it. Let's just think about that again. You're still finding your way.   And your way, whatever that is, changes as you change. Oh, and that was really powerful to me. Really was.   You see, there's so many different changes, isn't there? There's the teenage self, the young parent that I was, there was my career dreaming self. I got pretty successful at one particular career. Well, I think I've been pretty successful at different changing careers, but I was successful in myself, I thought.   But then I'd lost myself. Can you appreciate each one? Could you learn from each one? You see, let's think. Just

I Want My Old Me Back Have you ever caught yourself thinking, "I just want the old me back"? It's something I've heard from clients for years. It's something I said to myself too. But what if that's not what you really want? What if the old you was part of the struggle... and what you're really looking for is the real you? In this Five Minute Quickie, I share a personal insight that changed how I think about personal growth, identity and lasting change. The next deeper dive explores why you don't need to become your old self again—you simply need to keep finding your way. In this episode you'll discover: Why so many people long for their "old self" The surprising problem with trying to go backwards A simple mindset shift that brings hope and stability Why your path naturally changes as you change A preview of the deeper hypnosis episode to come If you're feeling lost, stuck or disconnected from yourself, this episode is a gentle reminder that you're not broken—you may simply be becoming. Remember to share what you hear: https://personaldevelopmentunplugged.com/fmq-537-i-want-my-old-me-back/ and there's a video of me doing the recording https://youtu.be/L7S0uAc9bRU Shine Brightly 🌟 Paul Hey there! I'd love to hear from you—questions, feedback, requests—all welcome. Drop me a line or leave a comment. If you've enjoyed this episode or any other, please share and subscribe! You can reach me at [email protected]. Subscribe to the Podcast Ready to subscribe? Click here to explore your options. Or, if you're on Apple Music or iTunes, you can go straight to subscribe or leave a review here. Special Programs for You For tools on developing Supreme Inner Confidence, finding Freedom from Anxiety, or specialized Hypnosis Tracks, visit PaulCloughOnline.com. Free Hypnosis Tracks Want access to my FREE hypnosis tracks? Head over to paulcloughonline.com/podcast. Connect with Me Follow me on Twitter: @pcloughie Remember: I'm a therapist, but I'm not your therapist. This podcast and any of my online resources are for educational purposes only. Never use the hypnosis tracks or exercises if you're operating machinery, driving, or if you have epilepsy or psychiatric conditions. Always consult a healthcare provider if you're unsure. Find Us on Other Platforms Catch the podcast on Spotify, Castbox, iHeart Radio, YouTube, or on our Libsyn page. Stay tuned, and keep shining brightly. ✨ Music Credits Music by Wataboi from Pixabay, Music by DreamHeaven from Pixabay, Music by ccjmusic from Pixabay, Music by freegroove from Pixabay, Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by prazkhanal from Pixabay. Music by will |Marshall from will marshall. And the transcript WARNING if you're a lover of the written word this may make you frustrated, or angry - you have been warned - is it an 'ism Hey my friend, back for a five minute quickie, the seed of something I think you're going to find interesting, but I also think is so important in this adventure of personal development, your personal development, you're creating the best version of you. You see, this is what I've been thinking of. When we're suffering, when we're suffering issues, you know, anxiety, fear, depression, loneliness, anything you can think of, you know, self-sabotage, procrastination, you know, that every blooming OCD, anything you can think of, you fill in the blank.   When it hits us to get out, we're looking for certainty, I guess. Everyone needs certainty. We need certainty and uncertainty.   But in that realm, we want certainty, stability. You know, I'm not going mad. I want to find a way out.   I certainly want to find a way out. You know, something I can hold on to, to lead me out. And I think that here's something that I experienced so often.   When I work with clients, we talk about their issues. And I talk about what you want. And you might think they want, well, you know, I'm so anxious, depressed.   I want happiness. I want fulfillment. I want this.   And they do. But then they really just go, do you not pull? I just want my old self back. The old me, you know, because that's stability, isn't it? The old me, the old me that I can remember.   You see, I don't know. That old me is something that you can remember with fondness, maybe. And we're going to talk about that in a longer podcast somewhere else.   Why the disconnection? Maybe even on this longer, deeper dive, following this FMQ. But you see, another thing, a personal thing. In my life's adventure, way back over there, I was in a big black hole.   And it was big and it was deep. And I was at the bottom of it. And I was doing all sorts of things to get myself out.   Because I knew a lot of different things. I was becoming my own therapist, day in, day out. It was literally day in, day out.   And what I used to say to people, I just want my old self back. The old Paul. If only I had the old Paul, I'd be okay.   And you see, during that time, I had a lot of help. Gave myself a lot of help. Looking for the old me.   So just like my clients. And then one day, one day, guess what? I had an aha moment. We have them occasionally, don't we? An aha moment.   I didn't want the old me. Why would I want that? I'd want the real me. Because the old me had, and was part of, those issues.   And the real me didn't. The thing is, I had something came about in my head. Because whilst that seemed to give me some stability to let go of that and look for this real me, I realised something that changed my thoughts.   This constant looking for this, to me, a new identity. Whatever that was, the real me. Well, it wasn't working.   And that's where the deep dive comes in, in the next longer podcast. You see, I think it's going to be really important when we go there. Because we'll discover something that will give you that certainty, will give you that stability, something to hold on to.   And give you something as a foundation to let go of things such as that fear, that anxiety, that depression, that loneliness, the old whatever, you fill in the blank. But on this lovely, I call it a lovely adventure. But sometimes it's, you know, adventures can be a little bit scary, can't they? I want to share with you one thing.   And I'd like you to think about it before the dive. And this one thing is, and it's like my second aha moment, when I've been sitting down with my puzzle book, and just thinking and trying to find a way, trying to find that certainty. I came up with this little sentence.   And it just makes me feel okay. And what I said was, I'm still finding my way. And my way changes as I change.   Say that again. I'm still finding my way. And my way changes as I change.   And that's where I think the direction of this podcast is going to go. It's how life changes as we change and how we can use these changes. And all the tools, I'm not forgetting all the tools, we're going to go through the tools, the things to help you get rid of anxiety, fear, depression, loneliness, all that stuff.   But realise we're finding our way. And when you're certain you're going to find your way, that's when, well, there you go. Come with me on the longer podcast, the next one to follow this.   I might still call it, I want my old me back. I might call it something else, who knows in between. But come with me, it'll be a longer, deeper dive.   It'll have a process or two to really get into understanding and feeling and grasping hold of this way of changing. So you can look forward to a wonderful future, a wonderful life. You know, creating your dreams, because I'm here to support your dreams.   Support you in getting whatever you want, because I believe you're entitled to it in this little old life. You're entitled to dream and have those dreams come true. Providing, and there is always a providing.   And the proviso is this, as long as it's good for you, the people around you, and little old planet Earth, because I want them economical. Economical? No. I want it good for the planet.   I want it good for the people around you. I want it good for you, because it makes sense then, doesn't it? So do join me on the longer podcast. Please do share this with people, anybody you can think of, because everyone, even if you say to them, hey, how you doing? Yeah, I'm good.   I'm good. We are all suffering in some way, because we're all changing. And changing gives you a little bit of a, you know, sometimes a little bit of uncertainty.   I don't want to give you certainty. So even if they're not saying that they have anxiety, fear, depression, loneliness, you fill in the blank. We all have something somewhere, don't we? That we're working through.   And this, I believe, will help you and help them. So do please share. Please press that subscribe button or follow button or whatever it is you have on your listening device of choice, because that means you won't miss out.   It'll come up on your feed and you go, yay, here comes Cloughie With. Yeah, just have a listen. And last upon last, and everyone tells you, don't keep asking too many things, but this is the third one.   If there is anything that you'd like help with, if you are having any challenges, do email me. My email address is feedback at personaldevelopmentunplugged.com. Do that, you get a personal request from me because I'm the only bugger here. And we'll create an episode just for you.   And I say just for you, but what it means is everyone gets the benefit of, because we're all suffering in some way, big, small, little, in the challenges that you have. We all have this very similar challenges, and we can transform the processes to deal with the ones that we have. Okay, please do that.   Let me know how you're getting on. Give me some feedback. Tell me if I'm talking a load of old, you know what, or if there's something you'd l