Advertise on podcast: Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

What do you do when a parenting conversation goes completely off track? Or when one child's big emotions leave the whole family feeling hurt? Justin and Kylie share two very real family moments that didn't go to plan, but ended with something far more important than getting it right. From failed attempts at the 3 E's to a daughter finding the courage to ask for a hug, this episode explores accountability, unconditional love and why repairing relationships matters more than avoiding conflict. KEY POINTS: Why even the best parenting strategies can fall flat when we're frustrated. How accountability can help children recognise their part in family relationships. Why a child's big emotions aren't always about you. The importance of turning towards each other instead of turning away. How to repair relationships after conflict and hurt feelings. Why unconditional love doesn't mean ignoring challenging behaviour. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "Ruptures are inevitable. Repairs, they're not mandatory, but they're not a luxury item if you want your family to flourish." RESOURCES MENTIONED: The 3 E's: Explore, Explain and Empower. Justin Coulson's parenting books. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: When a conversation goes sideways, pause and reconnect rather than pushing harder. Before reacting to your child's big emotions, consider whether something else might be going on. Make it clear that your love isn't conditional on your child's behaviour. Model accountability by acknowledging when you've got things wrong. Choose to turn towards each other and repair the relationship after conflict. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Could the way your child talks about difficult experiences reveal their future mental health? New research suggests AI might be able to spot warning signs years before depression or anxiety develops. Justin and Kylie unpack three fascinating studies, including a major new finding on the MMR vaccine and autism, and the surprising reason men temporarily lose their ability to think clearly when talking to attractive women. Yes, really. KEY POINTS: How AI identified patterns in children's language that could predict future mental health struggles. Why feeling socially safe, connected and supported matters when children face adversity. What a study of 2.56 million children found about the MMR vaccine and autism. Why the original research linking vaccines to autism was retracted. The surprising science behind why men can struggle to think clearly when trying to impress women. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "Resilience is relational. It's about the quality of the connection." RESOURCES MENTIONED: Stanford research into AI and childhood mental health, published in Nature Mental Health. Large-scale MMR vaccine and autism study published in the Pediatric Infectious Disease Journal. 2009 Dutch study exploring the effects of talking to attractive women on men's cognitive performance. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Listen carefully to how your child talks about difficult experiences. Are their stories filled with rejection, exclusion and feeling like they don't belong? Make connection a priority. Help your child build friendships and relationships with trusted adults. Encourage activities your child enjoys and looks forward to, whether that's sport, hobbies, music or spending time with family. Don't rely on ChatGPT or other general AI tools to assess your child's mental health. The research used a specialised tool that is not available as a screening test. Talk to a health professional if you're concerned about your child's emotional wellbeing. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if the person your child needs protection from is someone they already know and trust? Child sexual abuse is an uncomfortable topic, but staying silent can leave children without the knowledge or confidence to speak up. Dr Justin Coulson talks with counselling psychotherapist Karen Phillip, author of I Thought He Was My Friend, about grooming, recognising warning signs, teaching children the difference between secrets and surprises, and helping them find their voice. Learn how to have age-appropriate conversations that keep children safe without making them afraid of the world. KEY POINTS: Why children are often harmed by someone they already know and trust. The difference between secrets and surprises, and why the distinction matters. How grooming uses trust, threats and secrecy to silence children. Why children need to know they don't have to be polite when someone makes them uncomfortable. How to recognise changes in behaviour, including refusing to visit certain people or places. How to ask open-ended questions and listen without leading your child's answers. Why conversations about personal safety need to start when children are young. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "If it's not feeling comfortable for you, then it's not right for you." RESOURCES MENTIONED: I Thought He Was My Friend by Karen Phillip Happy Families: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Teach your children that surprises are shared, but secrets should never have to be kept. Remind them they never have to be polite when someone crosses their boundaries. Start age-appropriate conversations about personal safety from a young age. Ask open-ended questions such as "What's making you feel uncomfortable?" rather than questions that suggest an answer. Take changes in behaviour seriously, especially when a child suddenly refuses to visit someone or go somewhere. Make sure your child knows they can always tell you something, and you will listen without getting angry. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when a child who hates holidays, refuses new foods and struggles with unfamiliar places chooses a trip to China? Kylie shares how giving their 12-year-old daughter a say in the family holiday led to an experience that surprised everyone. From trying unfamiliar food to making new friends and exploring the Great Wall of China, this trip offered some unexpected lessons in parenting, independence and giving kids more control. Discover how to get reluctant kids excited about family holidays without letting them dictate every detail. Key Points: Why asking kids what they actually want from a holiday can change their attitude. How giving children a say builds autonomy and cooperation. Why a group tour can be a great option for travelling with kids. Preparing reluctant eaters for unfamiliar food and new experiences. How hands-on activities make holidays more engaging for children. Giving kids choices without handing over all the decisions. Recognising when children need downtime and when they're ready for a challenge. Quote of the Episode: "The biggest highlight for me was watching our 12-year-old. It was almost like she was growing up right before my eyes." Action Steps for Parents: Ask your child what they don't enjoy about family holidays. Give them a chance to suggest destinations or activities they'd love to experience. Find small ways to offer choices, even if they're too young to choose the destination. Look for hands-on experiences that let kids explore, create and learn. Talk about unfamiliar food and experiences before you travel. Allow room for rest and downtime rather than filling every moment. Consider a group tour if your children enjoy being around other kids. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your kids might roll their eyes at you today, but the little things you do as a family could become the memories they treasure for a lifetime. Justin and Kylie share why family traditions matter, how unexpected moments become lasting rituals, and why parenting doesn't always come with the answers. From teenagers who are embarrassed by their parents to a Christmas tradition that nearly got cancelled, this episode is a reminder that the small things often mean the most. KEY POINTS: Why parenting doesn't always go to plan, even when you're doing everything right. Learning to let teenagers grow up without taking their independence personally. Why family traditions create belonging, identity and lasting memories. How everyday routines like Sunday dinners can become the traditions children cherish. Simple ways to create meaningful family traditions without spending money. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE: "Traditions often just happen because of what you do with your family on a regular basis." ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Think about the little things your family does regularly. Could they already be traditions? Start a simple ritual, such as Sunday dinner, a family walk or dancing in the kitchen. Ask your children which family traditions matter most to them. Don't panic when parenting doesn't go to plan. Keep showing up and give your children room to grow. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is smacking really harmless if you grew up with it? A new Australian study reveals just how many parents still believe physical punishment is acceptable, even when it involves hitting a child with a wooden spoon or across the face. Justin and Kylie unpack the research behind smacking, challenge the familiar "I turned out fine" argument and explain why physical punishment doesn't teach children the lessons parents hope it will. More importantly, they share a better way to handle challenging behaviour without hurting your child. KEY POINTS What a new Australian study reveals about attitudes towards smacking. Why "I turned out fine" isn't proof that physical punishment is harmless. What six decades of research tell us about smacking and children's behaviour. The links between physical punishment, aggression and mental health struggles. Why smacking may achieve short-term compliance but doesn't create lasting change. How to use problem-solving conversations to teach better behaviour. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE "Discipline not as an opportunity to hurt our child, but an opportunity to help our child." RESOURCES MENTIONED The Fallacy of the 'I Turned Out Fine' Argument The New York Times article by Justin Coulson Parenting books, articles and free podcast resources at happyfamilies.com.au. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Notice when you're reaching for punishment out of frustration. Wait until everyone is calm before addressing challenging behaviour. Talk with your child about what went wrong and how to prevent it happening again. Give your child a chance to help create family rules and solutions. Focus on teaching the behaviour you want to see, rather than punishing the behaviour you don't. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bedtime shouldn't end in arguments every night. Justin and Kylie share practical ways to help older kids wind down, stick to routines and take more responsibility for getting enough sleep. From screen time and dimming the lights to giving teens more control over bedtime, discover how to make evenings calmer and mornings less stressful. KEY POINTS Use the Three E's approach: Explore, Explain and Empower to work through bedtime struggles together. Set consistent evening routines for dinner, showers, homework and getting ready for bed. Reduce screen time in bedrooms and use dim lighting or music to help everyone wind down. Slow the evening down with family time and a shared tidy-up. Give older kids more independence by focusing on getting up on time and managing the consequences of late nights. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “You go to bed when you go to bed. So long as we don't have any problems in the morning, we're all good.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families: happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Set aside time this weekend to talk with your kids about what's making bedtime difficult. Agree on a realistic evening routine that everyone understands. Check whether screens are keeping your kids awake or making it harder to wind down. Try dimming the lights and slowing down the pace of the evening. Give older kids more say in their bedtime while setting clear expectations for getting up in the morning. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What keeps a relationship strong when life gets hard? Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack 24 years of Australian household data to explore what makes relationships thrive. From sharing the mental and physical load at home to surviving the stressful years of raising children, discover why relationship satisfaction can dip for decades before reaching its highest point yet. KEY POINTS Why sharing the load at home matters more than you might think How money, housework and parenting pressures affect relationship satisfaction Why relationships can feel harder during the years of raising children What changes as couples move into their 40s and 50s How communication, trust and teamwork help couples stay connected QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “When you trust one another, when you believe the other person is going to act in your best interests, and you see that on repeat because they do, that's when people feel high levels of relationship satisfaction.” RESOURCES MENTIONED HILDA Survey (Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia) The Ape That Understood the Universe by Steve Stewart-Williams A Billion Years of Sex Differences by Steve Stewart-Williams ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Talk honestly about whether the workload at home feels fair to both of you. Ask your partner what has been feeling hard lately and listen without getting defensive. Look for small ways to show your partner they can rely on you. Remember that you are on the same team, even when you contribute in different ways. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Nine in 10 teens who get periods regularly experience pain, and around half report moderate to severe symptoms. In this episode, Dr Justin Coulson speaks with paediatrician Dr Anthea Rhodes from the Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne about why so many girls are missing school, sport and social events because of period pain. They unpack the myths parents need to stop believing, how to recognise when pain needs attention, and practical ways to help teens feel supported. Plus, learn why boys need to understand periods too and how families can make these conversations less awkward. KEY POINTS: Why period pain shouldn’t be something teens simply have to endure The signs that pain is interfering with everyday life Why boys and dads need to understand periods Practical ways to make period products and support accessible How to start conversations when teens feel embarrassed asking for help QUOTE OF THE EPISODE:“Just because something’s common doesn’t mean there aren’t things that you can do to actually make that better.” Dr Anthea Rhodes RESOURCES MENTIONED:Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne Teen Health Info and Kids Health Info fact sheets, plus resources from the Pelvic Pain Clinical Network. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS: Ask your teen how their period affects school, sport and friendships. Take pain seriously, especially when it stops them participating in everyday activities. Keep period products and suitable pain relief accessible at home and in the car. Make conversations about periods normal, not embarrassing. Speak with your GP if symptoms are persistent, severe or not improving. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Can paracetamol during pregnancy increase the risk of autism or ADHD? Justin and Kylie Coulson unpack four provocative studies challenging what we think we know about pregnancy, relationships, gender differences and rising neurodevelopmental diagnoses. From a major study examining paracetamol use during pregnancy to the possible reasons autism and ADHD diagnoses are increasing, this episode separates research findings from assumptions and explores what the evidence actually tells us. KEY POINTS • What a large study found about paracetamol use during pregnancy and autism or ADHD risk.• Why men and women may appear to multitask differently.• How pessimism about relationships may affect young women's expectations for happiness.• Whether broader diagnostic criteria help explain rising autism and ADHD diagnoses. QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “Science isn't about convenience.” RESOURCES MENTIONED • Prenatal Acetaminophen or Paracetamol Use and the Risk of Autism and ADHD Among Sibling-Matched Cohorts, published in JAMA Internal Medicine.• Research published in Psychological Research on gender differences in multitasking.• Suzanne Venker's discussion of heteropessimism on the Modern Wisdom podcast with Chris Williamson.• Institute for Family Studies article on heteropessimism and relationship outcomes.• Changes in Genetic Contributions to ASD and ADHD by Year of Diagnosis, published in JAMA Psychiatry. ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS • Look at the research behind controversial health claims before accepting or dismissing them.• Discuss questions about medication during pregnancy with your healthcare professional.• Focus on finding healthy relationships built on kindness, trust and mutual support.• Remember that research findings are part of an evolving evidence base, especially when it comes to autism and ADHD. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

When school leaves your child overwhelmed, anxious and struggling to learn, is pushing through really the best option? Justin and Kylie Coulson share their experience with homeschooling, the emotional toll of traditional schooling and how to decide what your child needs most. They explore social skills, independence, learning and the importance of helping children feel safe enough to thrive. Key Points How to recognise when traditional schooling isn't working for your child Why emotional regulation matters for learning and friendships The social opportunities children can find outside traditional school The realities of homeschooling for parents, finances and work How time at home can help children rebuild confidence and return to school Quote of the Episode “How on earth is a child whose emotions are so highly strung in that moment going to learn anything?” Resources Mentioned Happy Families: https://happyfamilies.com.au Action Steps for Parents Listen to what your child’s behaviour may be telling you about their school experience. Look into local homeschooling groups and alternative learning options. Consider your child’s emotional wellbeing alongside their academic and social development. Build a supportive community where your child can develop friendships, independence and confidence. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if all our talk about mental health is making it harder for kids to cope with life? Dr Justin Coulson sits down with educational and developmental psychologist Claire Rowe to unpack the rise of therapy speak, the dangers of labelling normal emotions as mental health problems, and why constantly checking in on how our kids feel might not be helping them. Discover how to support children through difficult feelings without teaching them to fear every bump in the road. Key Points How therapy speak on social media is changing the way we see ourselves and others Why labelling children as anxious or sensitive can shape their identity When mental health labels help and when they go too far Why taking action and helping others can be more useful than constantly focusing inward How to build resilience without dismissing children's feelings Quote of the Episode “You can do hard things.” Claire Rowe Resources Mentioned Claire Rowe Psychologist on Instagram Rowe and Associates, Sydney Lucy Foulkes, psychologist and researcher Sami Timimi, psychiatrist Abigail Shrier, author Action Steps for Parents Talk about feelings using everyday words like worried, sad or disappointed rather than turning every emotion into a label. Remind your child that difficult feelings are normal and that asking for help is okay. Encourage them to take small steps through challenging situations instead of automatically avoiding them. Help them connect with others through family, friendships, sport, hobbies and community. Let your child know you are there to support them, even when they have a hard day. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What matters most when you walk through your front door? Justin Coulson has spent years helping families build happier lives, and his work has now earned him a University of Queensland Vice-Chancellor's Alumni Excellence Award. But the moment that mattered most wasn't the trophy. It was the reminder that strong families change lives, and the most important work we do often happens at home. Justin and Kylie share the story behind the award, the sacrifices that shaped his career, a hilarious university confession, and the acceptance speech that left a room full of people in tears. KEY POINTS Why strong family relationships shape happier, healthier lives The unexpected path from struggling dad to parenting expert The people and sacrifices behind Justin's achievement What research tells us about the lifelong impact of loving caregivers Why the most important work often happens at home QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “The most important work many of us will ever do is not in the office. It's waiting for us when we walk back through our own front door.” RESOURCES MENTIONED University of Queensland Vice-Chancellor's Alumni Excellence Awards Happy Families books and resources at happyfamilies.com.au ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Make time for connection with your children, even on busy days. Think about the example you're setting through your relationships. Recognise the small, everyday things that help your family feel safe, loved and supported. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Worried your teenager is falling behind or has no idea what they want to do after school? You’re not alone, and their future is bigger than their grades. Dr Justin Coulson chats with educator and careers expert Dr Jo Winchester about career pressure, gap years, alternative pathways and the changing world of work. They explore how to support neurodivergent kids, take the pressure off big decisions and help young people find a path that fits who they are. KEY POINTS Why your child’s ATAR doesn’t define their potential When a gap year might be the right choice How to explore careers in a rapidly changing world Supporting neurodivergent kids without focusing on grades Helping teenagers make decisions without passing on your anxiety QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “The thing that I want you to concentrate on more is, is your child happy? Are they being supported in a loving environment at that school?” RESOURCES MENTIONED Dr Jo Winchester for career guidance and free resources Range by David Epstein Dark Horse by Todd Rose ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Take the pressure off choosing a lifelong career right now. Explore university open days by focusing on the environment and teaching staff, not rankings. Help your teenager identify their interests, strengths and skills. Set small, achievable goals if school is a struggle. Remind your child that their grades are not a measure of their intelligence or future success. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Your five-year-old is hitting other children when they're angry, frustrated or feel something is unfair. You've talked about using words, encouraged them to burn off energy and tried everything you can think of. So what actually helps? Justin and Kylie Coulson explain why young children lash out, how to practise emotional regulation at home and what to do when your child comes home after a difficult day at school. Learn how to set boundaries without shame, build better responses and help your child manage big feelings as their brain develops. KEY POINTS Why five-year-olds struggle to control big emotions How to practise calming strategies before frustration takes over Why difficult conversations work better when everyone is calm Helping children find their own solutions to conflict Responding with compassion while still addressing hitting How classroom culture and maturity can influence behaviour QUOTE OF THE EPISODE “When emotions are hot or high, there's not a lot that soaks in or sinks in.” RESOURCES MENTIONED Happy Families: https://happyfamilies.com.au Send your tricky questions to [email protected] ACTION STEPS FOR PARENTS Practise when things are calm. Rehearse taking deep breaths, walking away or asking an adult for help. Problem-solve together. Ask your child what they could do next time they feel angry or treated unfairly. Reconnect after school. Offer cuddles, space and understanding before discussing what went wrong. Keep the boundary clear. Acknowledge their feelings while making it clear that hitting isn't okay. Give them time to learn. Emotional regulation develops gradually, and children need repeated practice and support. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.