
Advertise on podcast: The Hardcore Self-Help Podcast with Duff the Psych
Rating
4.5from
This podcast has
448 episodes
Language
EnglishPublisher
Robert Duff, Ph.D.Explicit
Yes
Date created
2016/03/17
Latest episode
2026/02/17
Average duration
47 min.
Release period
26 days
Description
Hey, friends! My name is Robert. I am a neuropsychologist and self-help author. In this podcast, I interview fascinating individuals and provide information about psychology, mental health, neuroscience, relationships, and more. I have been told that I ask amazing questions and that I am talented at breaking down complex science into digestible information. Come have a listen and let me know if you agree!
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The Secrets of Good Daughtering with Dr. Allison Alford
2026/02/17
We talk a lot about parenting.
But we don't talk nearly enough about being a daughter.
In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Allison Alford — communication scholar, professor at Baylor University, and author of Good Daughtering — to unpack the hidden emotional labor adult daughters carry inside their families.
We explore the invisible work, the guilt, the pressure to be "enough," and how daughters can set boundaries without walking away from the people they love. This isn't about cutting family off. It's about understanding your role, recalibrating it, and finding pride instead of burnout.
If you've ever felt like you're doing a lot… but it's never quite enough — this one will hit.
What We Cover What "daughtering" actually means (and why it's invisible)
The "specter of expectation" and where guilt really comes from
The difference between healthy families and the "messy middle"
Why boundaries aren't magic — they're strategy
How to shift your role even if no one else in your family changes
Why being a daughter can be a noble pursuit — not just a burden
What changes when daughters finally see the system clearly
Chapters 00:00 – Intro + Texas roots & communication background
01:00 – "Not by magic": boundaries during the holidays
02:00 – Why she wrote Good Daughtering (research → real-world tools)
06:45 – Growing up with a therapist mom + learning to "talk about talking"
12:00 – Emotions A–Z vs A–F (communication differences in relationships)
16:00 – Generational healing, enmeshment & the "messy middle" family
20:00 – What "daughtering" actually means (visible + invisible labor)
23:30 – The guilt, pressure & the "specter of expectation"
26:00 – Where to begin: notice → calibrate → communicate
29:00 – When family won't change: boundaries + internal work
36:00 – Realizing the invisible labor in her own life
42:00 – Daughters as an untapped community
46:00 – Is daughtering a noble pursuit?
49:00 – What's inside the book (tools, scripts, boundary setting)
53:00 – What changes if daughters "see the Matrix"? + Release date
About Dr. Allison Alford Dr. Allison Alford is a communication scholar and Clinical Associate Professor at Baylor University. Her research focuses on family communication, identity, and the overlooked emotional labor of adult daughters.
🌐 Website:
https://www.daughtering101.com
📸 Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/daughtering101
📘 Good Daughtering (Releases February 17, 2026):
https://www.harpercollins.com/products/good-daughtering-allison-m-alford
(You can also find it on Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Bookshop, and other major retailers.)
Intimacy, Breakups, and Dating in the Real World: A Conversation with Dr. Justin Garcia
2026/01/27
Dating and relationships have never been simple — but in today's world of apps, algorithms, and endless options, it's easy to feel overwhelmed and disconnected. In this episode, I speak with Dr. Justin Garcia, Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute, evolutionary biologist, sex researcher, and author of the upcoming book The Intimate Animal. We talk about what our biology can (and can't) tell us about love and desire, how technology is reshaping intimacy, and why breakups can hit so hard.
We also get personal — sharing stories about grief, recovery, non-monogamy, and navigating love in the real world. Dr. Garcia brings a refreshingly nuanced perspective, blending science, lived experience, and a deep respect for the complexities of modern relationships.
Topics Covered The biological basis of pair bonding and why love is a survival strategy
How dating apps are changing the way we connect — and the pitfalls of infinite choice
Non-monogamy, open relationships, and what science really says about them
Breakups, heartbreak, and why they feel like addiction withdrawal
Infidelity: what motivates it, and why it's often about secrecy more than sex
Practical dating advice backed by years of research
The neuroscience of attraction, and how foreplay, communication, and intention keep passion alive
How personal experience shaped Dr. Garcia's latest work — including his own recent marriage and fatherhood
Guest Bio Dr. Justin Garcia is an evolutionary biologist, sex researcher, and Executive Director of the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University. He's also the Chief Scientific Advisor for Match Group, guiding large-scale studies on modern relationships like the annual Singles in America survey. His research has been featured in outlets like The New York Times, TIME, and CNN, and his new book The Intimate Animal: The Science of Sex, Fidelity, and Why We Live and Die for Love will be released on January 27, 2026.
Learn more:
Kinsey Institute Bio – https://kinseyinstitute.org/about/staff/executive-director-justin-garcia.html
Pre-order The Intimate Animal – https://www.hachettebookgroup.com/titles/justin-r-garcia-phd/the-intimate-animal/9780316594035/
Resources Mentioned Singles in America study – https://www.singlesinamerica.com/
Kinsey Institute – https://www.kinseyinstitute.org/
Dr. Garcia's social media: Search "Dr. Justin Garcia" on major platforms or follow updates via the Kinsey Institute
Key Takeaways Love and sex are biologically distinct but deeply intertwined. We're wired for long-term bonding, but novelty and desire often create tension within those bonds.
Breakups are more than emotional — they're neurochemical. Love activates the brain's reward systems, and heartbreak can mimic drug withdrawal.
Modern dating can feel overwhelming because our brains haven't evolved to handle endless digital choice. Intention and curiosity matter more than perfection.
Non-monogamous relationships aren't inherently less loving or stable. They often demand high levels of communication and negotiation.
Infidelity is less about desire and more about secrecy. Even in non-monogamous relationships, broken trust hurts.
There's no perfect formula for love. Each connection is unique, and understanding yourself can help you show up better in relationships.
Connect with Me Have a question, topic suggestion, or want to be a guest?
Email: [email protected]
Website: https://duffthepsych.com
Contact form: https://duffthepsych.com/contact
Please rate and subscribe on your favorite podcast platform — it helps more people find the show!
Compassionate and Effective Schizophrenia Care with Dr. Tracy Hicks
2026/01/20
In this episode, I'm honored to welcome Dr. Tracy Hicks, a dual-certified family and mental health nurse practitioner with over two decades of clinical experience—and a deeply personal connection to serious mental illness. Dr. Hicks is both the daughter of a parent and the mother of a child with schizophrenia spectrum disorders. Her perspective blends professional expertise with lived experience in a way that is both deeply compassionate and refreshingly practical.
We talk about what schizophrenia really is (and isn't), the impact of stigma on individuals and families, and the importance of person-centered, empathetic care. Dr. Hicks shares her personal journey—raising a daughter with serious mental illness while navigating barriers in the healthcare system—and offers guidance for both providers and caregivers who want to better support those living with schizophrenia.
This is a powerful and deeply human conversation for anyone touched by serious mental illness.
Topics We Cover What schizophrenia is and how it's commonly misunderstood
Growing up with a parent who has schizophrenia
Early warning signs and delays in diagnosis for her daughter
How stigma and systemic bias impact treatment access and quality
Long-acting injectable medications: what they are and why they matter
Creating space for curiosity and shared decision-making in care
How to support loved ones without losing yourself
Advice for providers on building trust and improving outcomes
The power of grace, boundaries, and self-care for caregivers
Timestamps 00:00 – Introduction to Dr. Tracy Hicks and her personal/professional background
03:00 – From nursing to psychiatry: building a whole-person care model
07:00 – Childhood memories of a parent with schizophrenia
11:00 – Explaining what schizophrenia is and is not
14:00 – Challenging stereotypes: what schizophrenia actually looks like
18:00 – Early signs in Dr. Hicks' daughter and missed opportunities for intervention
22:00 – Racism, bias, and provider assumptions
24:00 – Treatment begins with the story, not the symptoms
26:00 – Why empathy and curiosity matter more than credentials
28:00 – The question that opens everything: "What's your goal for today?"
32:00 – Including family and support systems in the care plan
36:00 – Communication shifts that changed lives
41:00 – What long-acting injectables are and how to present them as an option
47:00 – Combating clinical inertia and provider bias
51:00 – What Dr. Hicks would do differently as a parent
54:00 – Creating your own space when the system doesn't serve you
58:00 – Boundaries, burnout, and filling your own cup as a caregiver
1:02:00 – Final thoughts on stigma, advocacy, and asking for what you need
1:03:30 – Where to follow Dr. Hicks and access her work
Guest Links Website: https://www.cfcmentalhealthoutreach.org
Instagram: https://instagram.com/drhicksnp
Stay Connected Email: [email protected]
Send a message or question: https://www.duffthepsych.com/contact
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych
Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych
If this episode resonated with you, please consider subscribing, leaving a review, or sharing it with someone who could benefit. Conversations like this one can make a world of difference for people who feel alone in their experience.
Until next time, take care of yourself.
I Am Determined.
2026/01/12
In this episode, I share the absolute honest truth about my life at the moment. I also talk about my focus for this year, the phrases I can't get out of my head, and the things I'm grateful for from the last year.
Let's do this.
Got a question for the show? Email [email protected] or head over the http://duffthepsych.com/contact.
Watch the video at http://youtube.com/duffthepsych
Follow me on Instagram at http://instagram.com/duffthepsych and Facebook at http://facebook.com/duffthepsych
More writings and additional podcast content over at https://robertduff.substack.com/
A New Approach to OCD: Internal Family Systems w/ Melissa Mose
2025/11/10
In this deeply informative episode, I'm joined by licensed marriage and family therapist Melissa Mose, LMFT, who brings 30 years of clinical experience to the table and a unique approach to treating OCD by integrating Internal Family Systems (IFS) with traditional methods like Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP).
Melissa shares how a personal experience—her daughter's sudden-onset OCD—propelled her into the world of OCD treatment and changed the direction of her career. We talk through how OCD manifests, why traditional ERP can be both life-changing and difficult for people, and how IFS can offer a more compassionate, effective way to approach healing by helping clients access their internal "Self."
We also discuss Melissa's new book for clinicians, her training work, and the upcoming OCD SoCal Conference happening online on November 15–16, 2025.
🧠 What We Discuss in This Episode: Melissa's unexpected path from literature and mythology to psychotherapy
The sudden-onset OCD experience with her daughter that changed everything
What OCD really is – beyond stereotypes – and why it's often misunderstood
Core concepts of ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention)
How Internal Family Systems (IFS) works and its 8 C's of Self-energy
Why combining IFS and ERP may provide better outcomes for some people
"Self-led ERP" – Melissa's integrative model for treating OCD
Real-life examples of recovery using this compassionate framework
The importance of identifying OCD early, especially in kids
Training efforts to help clinicians recognize and effectively treat OCD
Hope for those who feel "too far gone"
⏱️ Episode Chapters & Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro to Melissa Mose and IFS for OCD
03:00 – Melissa's background and shift from English literature to psychology
08:00 – Early career in teen and family systems therapy
11:00 – Her daughter's sudden-onset OCD and the diagnosis of PANDAS
14:30 – Navigating confusion, misdiagnosis, and treatment discovery
18:00 – What OCD actually is: the obsession-compulsion cycle
22:00 – How compulsions generalize and worsen OCD
24:30 – Introduction to ERP and how it works
29:00 – What is Internal Family Systems (IFS)?
34:00 – Comparing IFS to ACT and other models
42:00 – Mapping OCD symptoms to internal "parts" using IFS
48:00 – A self-led approach to ERP: empowering the Self
50:30 – Client success stories and examples
55:00 – The rise of IFS in the OCD world
58:00 – Is IFS evidence-based for OCD?
01:00:00 – Melissa's "Self-led ERP" model explained
01:02:00 – Workbook and practical tools coming soon
01:04:00 – How to get started with IFS
01:08:00 – Inside Out, visualization, and self-awareness
01:10:00 – Making IFS for OCD more accessible worldwide
01:12:00 – Final thoughts: hope and next steps for those struggling
📚 Resources & Links from the Episode 🔹 Melissa Mose's Website
https://www.melissamosemft.com/
🔹 IFS for OCD Resources and Courses
https://www.ifsforocd.com/blog
🔹 Melissa's Book:
Internal Family Systems Therapy for OCD: A Clinician's Guide
📘 On Amazon: Buy here
📘 On Routledge: https://www.routledge.com/Internal-Family-Systems-Therapy-for-OCD-A-Clinicians-Guide/Mose/p/book/9781032583730
🔹 OCD SoCal 2025 Online Conference (November 15–16, 2025)
🌐 Full Program Info: https://ocdsocal.org/conference/
🎟️ Register Here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/2025-online-ocd-conference-a-global-event-tickets-1531193865069?aff=oddtdtcreator
🎧 Stay Connected with Me 💌 Email: [email protected]
🌐 Website: https://duffthepsych.com
📺 YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych
📸 Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych
Celeb Chef Chris Valdes on Mental Health in Kitchens
2025/11/03
In this heartfelt and candid episode, I'm joined by Chef Chris Valdes—TV personality, cookbook author, and lifelong culinary artist—to talk about his powerful personal journey through the culinary world and the mental health struggles he's faced along the way. From growing up in a Cuban restaurant in Miami to rising to national TV fame, Chris has seen both the bright lights and the dark corners of the kitchen. He shares stories of family, grief, hustle, and healing—including why he took a year off from everything to rediscover himself.
Whether you're in food service, struggling with burnout, or just love a good story with heart and spice, this one's for you.
Timestamps / Chapters:
[00:00:00] Intro & Chris's background
[00:03:00] Earliest food memory: the flan and whipped cream incident
[00:06:45] Growing up in a family restaurant
[00:08:30] Father's imprisonment and family disruption
[00:13:00] Early entrepreneurial spirit (orange hustling!)
[00:17:00] High school struggles & turning point with Le Cordon Bleu
[00:23:00] Launching his catering company at 19
[00:26:00] First experience with depression & thoughts of ending it
[00:29:00] Hitting a wall after a breakup & GMA meltdown
[00:33:00] Psychedelic healing ceremony in Malibu
[00:38:00] Rediscovering self through solitude, therapy, and boundaries
[00:43:00] Toxic kitchen culture and normalizing mental health discussions
[00:47:00] Holiday catering chaos and internal pressure
[00:52:00] Advice on rest, recovery, and choosing yourself
[00:56:00] What's next: books, new management, and the slow lane
[00:57:00] Signature nostalgic dish
[00:59:00] Go-to Latin spices (cumin, garlic, cilantro)
[01:01:00] What young Chris would say to 2025 Chris
[01:02:30] Where to follow and final thoughts
Links -
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/chefchrisvaldes
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@chefchrisvaldes
His cookbook - One With the Kitchen: https://www.amazon.com/One-Kitchen-Recipes-stories-inspired/dp/0578886456
Dr. Andrea Martinez Talks Gangs, Loss, Depression, and Learning Discernment.
2025/10/10
Friends, welcome back to the Hardcore Self Help Podcast. This is my first interview back after a bit of a journey. I thought there was no better way to kick off this next phase of the podcast than by introducing you to a friend and brilliant human that I met in the interim.
Dr. Amy Andrea Martinez is a professor of sociology with a focus on Chicano gang culture, incarceration, and abolition. She is a total badass, and she gets vulnerable about her experiences in this conversation. We discuss how her younger brother's arrest, the development of her identity as a Xicana woman, her experiences with depression and suicidality, and her decision to build armor around her heart this year before diving back into the heart of academia and book-writing. I really hope you enjoy this one.
In this conversation, Dr. Martinez mentions this book: https://www.amazon.com/AM-Club-Morning-Elevate-Life/dp/1443456624
Stay connected:
Weekly newsletter: https://robertduff.substack.com – free tips, Q&A, and community updates.
My website: https://duffthepsych.com – articles, resources, and ways to work with me.
- Books & guides: https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B00NDY4THK?ccs_id=5c5cac88-b920-4fc3-809c-f592ad3b55d3 – practical mental-health guides and workbooks.
- Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych – daily insights, behind-the-scenes, and community chats.
The Podcast is Coming Back.
2025/10/01
Episode Summary: In this deeply personal solo episode, Dr. Duff returns to the mic after a hiatus to share what's been going on behind the scenes with The Hardcore Self Help Podcast. He opens up about an almost-acquisition of the show by a larger mental health organization—a deal that initially looked promising but ultimately fell through. With transparency and vulnerability, Dr. Duff reflects on the emotional and professional impact of that experience, explains why the podcast paused, and announces the exciting new direction it's headed in.
What You'll Hear In This Episode: Why the podcast went quiet for a while
A behind-the-scenes look at the attempted acquisition of the show
The emotional and logistical toll of being let down by a potential deal
Reflections on past professional disappointments outside of clinical work
What's next: rebranding, new episode formats, and a stronger emphasis on interviews
Why connection and personal stories will be the heart of the podcast moving forward
Dr. Duff's renewed commitment to amplifying diverse voices and lived experiences
Updates on the "Bipolar Answers" audiobook and Substack content
Thoughts on staying consistent while prioritizing quality over quantity
Timestamps: 00:00 – 00:52 — Welcome back! What this episode is about
00:52 – 02:00 — The podcast was almost sold—here's how it started
02:00 – 03:26 — Meeting the company, expectations, and initial excitement
03:26 – 06:04 — Multiple meetings and flying out to pitch in person
06:04 – 08:00 — In-person meetings and positive vibes, but no details yet
08:00 – 10:24 — Delays, excuses, and finally: the deal falls through
10:24 – 12:25 — Processing the disappointment and reflecting on past letdowns
12:25 – 13:21 — Token compensation offered, but trust was broken
13:21 – 14:00 — What's next: staying open to future partnerships
14:00 – 15:22 — New focus: interviews over general Q&A
15:22 – 16:48 — The unique value of human connection in storytelling
16:48 – 17:15 — Rebranding plans and more diverse guest features
17:15 – 18:17 — Finishing the audiobook, editing, and prepping new interviews
18:17 – 19:05 — Where to find Dr. Duff in the meantime and the new YouTube direction
Links & Resources: Website: https://duffthepsych.com
Email: [email protected]
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych
Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych
Substack: https://robertduff.substack.com
Want to Help Relaunch the Show? If you're excited about the return of the podcast, be sure to subscribe, share the new episodes with your community, and leave a review wherever you listen. Every bit of support helps relaunch this phoenix from the ashes.
437: Multicultural Identity, Somatic Healing, and Embodied Code Switching w/ Marcia Bonato Warren
2025/04/18
In this insightful interview, I'm joined by Marcia Bonato Warren, a trauma-informed body therapist, somatic counselor, interculturalist, and author. Marcia brings over 30 years of experience working with cross-cultural mental health, and she shares a powerful lens on how identity, culture, and trauma intersect in the body.
Together, we explore the concept of embodied code switching, how our bodies carry cultural and ancestral imprints, and how healing often involves not just the mind, but movement, sensation, and deep awareness of the self. Marcia discusses her personal journey as a Brazilian and Native American woman navigating multiple cultural worlds—and how her lived experience shaped her professional path and inspired her new book.
This episode is a rich blend of personal storytelling, professional insight, and hope for a more connected, empathetic world.
Key Discussion Points: Marcia's multicultural background growing up between Pueblo traditions and Brazilian culture
What it means to experience culture somatically when language isn't accessible
The definition and practice of embodied code switching
How somatic therapy works and how the body holds trauma, history, and healing
Cultural embodiment and the importance of body-based awareness across social, emotional, and environmental realms
The internal work of bridging identities that may feel in conflict
Intergenerational trauma and healing as a form of cultural resilience
Marcia's new book as a form of protest and empowerment amid sociopolitical turmoil
The value of curiosity and reclaiming our sense of wonder
Timestamps: 00:00 – Intro to Marcia and her multicultural upbringing
04:30 – Advocating through names and early sense of identity
09:00 – Growing up between cultures and learning through somatic experience
14:00 – Noticing what it feels like to "not belong" in any cultural space
17:00 – The physical experience of fitting in (or not)
20:00 – What is somatic counseling and body-based psychotherapy?
24:00 – Holding multiple identities and forming relationships between them
28:00 – Embodied code switching: definitions and origins
35:00 – Identity, trauma, and resilience in the nervous system
40:00 – Diversity, empathy, and learning across differences
43:30 – Somatics, symbolism, and healing in therapy
47:00 – Marcia's career in advocacy and transition to therapy
52:00 – Her new book as resistance and hope in a polarized world
58:30 – Book structure, audience, and why it matters now
1:06:00 – Final reflections on curiosity, awareness, and personal power
Guest Links: Website: https://www.embodiedculture.com
Book Info & Resources: https://www.embodiedcodeswitching.com
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marciabonatowarren
Buy the Book on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Movement-Identity-Multiculturalism-Awareness-Code-Switching/dp/1839978376
Contact Me: Email: [email protected]
Website: https://duffthepsych.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych
Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych
If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a review, sharing it with a friend, or tagging me on social to let me know your thoughts. And if Marcia's story resonated with you, I'd love to hear how this conversation landed.
436: Facing Horrific Family Trauma & Finding Joy After Divorce
2025/04/11
In this episode, Dr. Duff takes on two powerful listener questions in a raw and compassionate Q&A format.
The first question comes from a survivor of extensive childhood abuse, religious trauma, and complex family dynamics, who is wrestling with the decision of whether or not to publish a deeply personal memoir. Dr. Duff dives into the emotional, psychological, and ethical layers of this situation, offering validation, insight, and a heartfelt reminder that healing and storytelling can be acts of empowerment.
The second question comes from a newly single parent facing feelings of loneliness and hopelessness after a recent divorce. After a disappointing family trip, they wonder if happiness is still possible in this new chapter of life. Dr. Duff breaks down the process of emotional adjustment, the importance of realistic expectations, and how small steps can lead to renewed hope and connection.
As always, this episode is filled with empathy, nuance, and practical encouragement for anyone going through dark or uncertain times.
Key Discussion Points The complexities of publishing a memoir about trauma and abuse
Understanding the impact of complex PTSD and generational trauma
Navigating family threats and estrangement with personal boundaries
Grieving the loss of an idealized future after divorce
Why happiness doesn't have to look how you thought it would
Tips for finding support and resilience as a single parent
The value of community, therapy, and chosen family
Timestamps 00:00 – Intro and personal update
03:00 – Content warning for the first question
04:05 – Listener story: Surviving severe childhood abuse and family rejection
07:00 – Dr. Duff reflects on complex PTSD and trauma recovery
08:30 – The power of isolation in abusive systems
10:00 – Complicated dynamics with the listener's mother
11:30 – Should I publish my book about my trauma?
13:00 – Weighing the risks and benefits of publishing under a pseudonym
14:30 – Standing in your truth despite family pushback
15:00 – Listener story: Facing loneliness and doubt after divorce
16:30 – Grieving the version of life you hoped for
18:00 – Family disappointment and changing dynamics
19:30 – The importance of time and realistic expectations
21:00 – Children often remember things differently than we expect
22:00 – Challenging fatalistic thoughts about the future
23:30 – Modeling resilience and authenticity for your kids
24:30 – Final thoughts and encouragement
Mentioned in This Episode Episode 130: Complex PTSD – What It Is and How to Recover
YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych
More mental health content at: https://www.duffthepsych.com
Submit a Question Have a question you'd like answered on the show? Reach out any time:
📧 Email: [email protected]
🌐 Website: duffthepsych.com
📷 Instagram: instagram.com/duffthepsych
📺 YouTube: youtube.com/@duffthepsych
Support the Show If you've gotten something out of the podcast and haven't left a review yet, now's a perfect time—especially if you're an Apple Podcasts listener. We're close to hitting 1,000 reviews, and every one helps others find the show and supports the mission of accessible mental health content.
435: Moving Past infidelity & Coping with Sudden Medication Changes
2025/04/04
In this episode, I address two deeply personal listener questions that highlight the complex nature of anxiety and emotional healing in relationships.
The first question comes from a listener who has struggled with anxiety for most of their life, recently facing severe limitations due to Generalized Anxiety Disorder and medication changes. We talk about the genetic components of anxiety, the risks of benzodiazepines in older adults, and the importance of advocating for the right care—even if that means seeking new providers or considering higher levels of treatment.
The second question dives into the emotional fallout after infidelity. A listener is working to rebuild their marriage after their wife's emotional and physical affairs but finds themselves overwhelmed by anger and trauma in the aftermath. I explore the importance of time, trauma-informed coping strategies, and how rebuilding trust is possible with consistent effort and support.
Whether you're dealing with anxiety yourself or navigating complex relationship dynamics, this episode offers validation, practical advice, and hope.
Key Discussion Points Question 1: Genetic Anxiety and Benzodiazepines
Anxiety can be partially genetic—up to 50% of risk may be inherited.
Environmental factors, early life experiences, and chronic stress also play key roles.
Long-term anxiety can even change brain structures like the amygdala.
Benzodiazepines such as Xanax and Klonopin can be risky for older adults, but abrupt changes in medication are harmful and inappropriate.
Importance of finding the right provider—psychiatric care may be more appropriate than primary care in severe cases.
Options like partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient programs, or even voluntary hospitalization if suicidal thoughts worsen.
Consideration of alternative treatments like TMS, ketamine therapy, EMDR, or comprehensive medical workups.
Encouragement and validation that meaningful change is possible—even later in life.
Question 2: Healing from Infidelity
Emotional and physical infidelity can lead to feelings of inadequacy and intense emotional reactivity.
The resurfacing of past wounds during present-day arguments is a trauma response.
Healing takes time; both partners must commit to rebuilding trust.
Grounding, breathing, and self-regulation tools are essential in emotional moments.
Individual therapy and journaling can help process complex feelings and trauma.
Couples therapy with a specialist in infidelity recovery can provide structure and support.
It's possible to rebuild a stronger relationship—but it takes honest effort from both sides.
Timestamps 00:00 – Intro
01:12 – Listener question: Is anxiety genetic?
03:22 – Genetics vs. environment in anxiety development
05:10 – Medication history and benzodiazepine concerns for older adults
08:45 – Advocating for appropriate psychiatric care
12:30 – Suicidal thoughts and higher levels of support
14:50 – Exploring alternative and emerging treatment options
17:15 – Words of encouragement and validation
19:45 – Listener question: Coping with infidelity and feeling inadequate
21:20 – Emotional fallout and trauma from betrayal
24:10 – Regulating emotional responses during arguments
26:00 – The role of time, patience, and couples therapy
28:20 – Journaling and individual processing for long-term healing
31:10 – Rebuilding a stronger relationship after infidelity
33:00 – Closing thoughts and takeaways
Resources & Links Website: http://duffthepsych.com
Email: [email protected]
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych
Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych
If today's episode resonated with you, consider leaving a review or sharing it with someone who could use the support. Your stories and questions continue to make this podcast what it is—thank you for being here.
Until next time, take care and keep pushing forward. You've got this.
An Update From Robert
2025/03/28
Just a quick update! Back to regularly scheduled programming next week!
Chapter From My NEW BOOK - Bipolar Answers
2025/03/14
Pre-Order Bipolar Answers https://www.amazon.com/Bipolar-Answers-Questions-Answered-Psychologist-ebook/dp/B0F1DW5WQZ/
In this special episode, Dr. Robert Duff announces the pre-order launch of his latest book, Bipolar Answers: Questions from Real People Answered by a Real Psychologist. To celebrate, he provides listeners with an exclusive reading of the book's introduction and one full chapter, giving a firsthand look at what to expect. This book is built from real questions asked on The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, expanded with deeper insights, case studies, and practical strategies for managing bipolar disorder.
Dr. Duff shares details about the book's structure, how it tackles common misconceptions, and why he felt compelled to write it. He also reads a powerful chapter about navigating college after a bipolar episode, offering valuable guidance on advocacy, accommodations, and resilience.
Timestamps:
[00:00] – Introduction and book announcement: Bipolar Answers is now available for pre-order on Amazon!
[02:00] – What the book covers: real questions, practical answers, case studies, and clear explanations.
[03:00] – Full reading of the book's introduction, covering the basics of bipolar disorder, diagnostic criteria, and case study of Olivia, a professional managing bipolar I.
[18:00] – Full chapter reading: Navigating college after a bipolar episode.
[24:00] – The importance of self-advocacy, understanding accommodations, and legal rights for students and employees with bipolar disorder.
[37:00] – Encouragement and final thoughts: Pre-order now and stay tuned for updates on the print and audiobook releases.
Key Takeaways:
Bipolar Answers is designed to cut through misinformation and offer real, actionable advice.
Bipolar disorder is complex and often misunderstood—this book provides a clear and stigma-free breakdown.
Returning to school or work after a bipolar episode can be daunting, but knowing your rights and advocating for yourself can make all the difference.
The book includes real-life examples, diagnostic clarifications, and practical tools for individuals living with bipolar and those supporting them.
Connect with Dr. Robert Duff:
Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com
Email: [email protected]
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych
Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych
If you enjoyed this episode, please share it with someone who might find it helpful! Your support means the world.
433: Stuck in Trauma & Embarrassed by Emotional Reactions
2025/03/07
Episode 433: Navigating PTSD Triggers & Overcoming Shame
In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I tackle two listener questions related to PTSD, trauma, and the emotional challenges that come with them. The first question is from someone who is deeply affected by their environment, living in a house that serves as a constant PTSD trigger. They want to move forward but feel completely stuck. The second question is about dealing with strong emotional reactions in public and the embarrassment that follows. I offer compassionate, practical advice to help both listeners begin taking steps toward healing and self-acceptance.
What We Cover in This Episode:
Understanding why trauma responses persist and how they impact daily life
The role of avoidance in PTSD and how to begin addressing it
Practical strategies for tackling overwhelming life changes
How to communicate with a therapist about deeply buried trauma
The importance of seeking trauma-informed therapy and possible medication options
Exposure techniques for gradually confronting PTSD triggers
Journaling as a tool for processing trauma at your own pace
Overcoming embarrassment when experiencing emotional reactions in public
Using gratitude as a way to shift focus from shame to connection
Coping strategies to regulate emotions and build resilience
Timestamps:
00:00 – Introduction & request for listener questions
02:00 – Listener question: Living in a house that triggers PTSD
05:00 – Why trauma responses persist and the role of avoidance
10:00 – Communicating openly with a therapist about severe trauma
12:00 – Seeking trauma-informed therapy and medication considerations
16:00 – Making an actionable plan to move forward and sell the house
21:00 – Practical steps to start addressing home repairs and tasks
22:00 – Listener question: Managing PTSD emotional reactions in public
24:00 – Using gratitude to counter feelings of shame and embarrassment
27:00 – Grounding techniques and exposure exercises to build resilience
30:00 – The importance of seeking support from others
32:00 – Closing thoughts & listener engagement request
Connect with Me:
Email: [email protected]
Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych
Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych
If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!
432: What is High-Functioning Codependency? Terri Cole
2025/02/28
In this episode of The Hardcore Self Help Podcast, I sit down with the incredible psychotherapist and author, Terri Cole, to discuss high-functioning codependency, boundaries, and how we can break free from people-pleasing tendencies. Terri shares her own journey from working in the entertainment industry to becoming a therapist and how her personal struggles with boundaries led her to specialize in this area. We dive deep into the traits of high-functioning codependency, where it comes from, and actionable steps you can take to create healthier relationships and reclaim your inner peace.
What We Cover in This Episode: Terri's journey from talent agent to psychotherapist
Recognizing high-functioning codependency in yourself
How childhood and societal expectations shape codependency
The role of self-awareness and therapy in breaking codependency patterns
Practical tools for overcoming codependent tendencies
The importance of setting boundaries and learning to say no
How to conduct a resentment inventory and why it's helpful
Addressing difficult family dynamics around social and political issues
How Terri's book, Too Much, can help you break free from codependency
Timestamps: 00:00 – Introduction to Terri Cole and her background
01:00 – How Terri transitioned from talent agent to psychotherapist
16:00 – Recognizing high-functioning codependency
25:00 – Childhood & societal influences on codependency
30:00 – The importance of self-awareness and therapy
39:00 – Practical tools for overcoming codependency
42:00 – Navigating difficult family dynamics
49:00 – Setting boundaries and learning to say no
52:00 – Conducting a resentment inventory
58:00 – How Too Much can help you break free
Resources Mentioned: Too Much by Terri Cole: https://www.terricole.com
High-Functioning Codependency Toolkit: https://www.terricole.com/HFC
Mastermind program (Flourish): https://www.terricole.com/flourish
Terri's membership community: https://www.terricole.com/TCM
The Terri Cole Show Podcast: https://www.terricole.com/podcast
Connect with Me: Email: [email protected]
Website: https://www.duffthepsych.com
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@duffthepsych
Instagram: https://instagram.com/duffthepsych
If you found this episode helpful, please consider sharing it with someone who might benefit. And as always, take care of yourself!
Podcast reviews
Read The Hardcore Self-Help Podcast with Duff the Psych podcast reviews
A good app should look like 2026/01/29
Thank you!
When I started my self-help journey a few years ago, I spent so much time listening to different podcasts trying to find one I would really stick with...
Anxiety in Texas 2025/06/10
Thank you!
As I took off on a walk to calm myself from my anxiety attack, I quickly searched my podcast search bar for “help with anxiety” and your podcasts popp...
Lucy M.P 2024/07/12
Love how accessible this is
Duff has a brilliant way of communicating complicated topics in a simple, understandable way. It’s informative, educational, and relatable. A great li...
tiff lloyd 2024/04/04
Best self-help podcast hands down
This podcast stands head and shoulders above the rest in the realm of self-help. With its uncanny ability to relate to various life scenarios, it offe...
Kidset 2024/03/09
Informative and engaging podcast
I’m a psychiatric nurse and have been listening to Dr. Duff’s podcast for about a year. I’ve learned so much both professionally and personally. I loo...
JessicaV7! 2024/01/15
Favorite mental health podcast
This is my go-to podcast for anything mental health related. Duff covers the topics in an informative but engaging style. I’ve learned so much about m...
Selmahyek 2024/01/13
The best podcast out there for mental health and relationships
This podcast is super freaking cool. I every episode is engaging, contains language that accessible to the average person, and very informative. I wil...
FredHorn 2024/01/13
A WEALTH of knowledge
I have been listening to Dr. Duff for about 3-4 years now. His content is incredibly compassionate and provides a great deal of knowledge and opportun...
PA Trish 2024/01/13
#1 Podcast on my list
Dr. Duff provides quality mental health content. His delivery is down-to-earth and non-judgmental. He looks for the positives in a listener’s situatio...
acutecoffeebean 2024/01/12
Such a good listen!
As someone who struggles w their mental health and who is also a psychology student; I can NOT recommend this podcast enough! Super educational, also ...
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