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Oh WOW, this one hits different for sure. In this episode, there are many ah-ha moments as Betsy outlines three signs to watch for when your partner promises change. Is it performance change, or real transformation? This podcast will leave you with the clarity you have been craving. You may even want to take notes during this one! Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi everyone. Welcome to the show today. Our trip to Belize has been finalized, so if you heard me on last week’s episode, talk about this retreat that I’m doing the Reimagined Life in Belize this July. It’s the 23rd to the 27th, please join me. There is a link, on my website. In the header bar if you go to live, and I’m posting about it every day on Instagram. I think we got, we opened yesterday afternoon and we’ve already got a really great group of women coming, so I am so excited. I’m like thrilled. This is gonna be just really so much fun. And we had our first live coffee here in Atlanta, and that was so fun to see everybody. I was planning on going to California in May, and I was gonna do one of these in May, and then my trip got changed. But we are still looking at all of these and, and trying to plan. Times to go. And also, and also why is the airlines, the flights are so expensive ’cause of gas. It’s so exhausting. I remember years ago when I took that trip to Iceland, I flew from Atlanta to London and it literally was like. 30,000 delta points, what would translates to like 500 bucks. Now it’s like 1500 bucks. , It’s just so sad. And so to kind of circle back to Belize, I know that if you come to Belize, I know that it is a challenge and I’m gonna show up for you. There’s still, I think, one spot left, maybe not by the time you hear this, but maybe, , for the VIP swag bags, so, you know, get in there and who knows it. Maybe all the early people that get in right away will get a swag bag like that. So we’re working on all that stuff in the background here too. So today though, what I really wanted to talk about was this thing that I have posted about online. And it’s something that people ask me about all the time. It is something that many women have seen me post about. And so when they have seen that particular post is when they decide to investigate working with me. And then they go through the whole program. And then when it happens to them, I think they’re like, oh my God, what? What is this? And I’ll tell you, it. It is a really, really hard thing when you have been working so hard and fighting for your marriage and not feeling as if you are heard to then get to the heart wrenching decision that you can no longer stay intact as a human in this relationship. To then decide to leave, to ultimately save yourself, and then to have your partner go, Hey, I’m gonna do the work. And so I wanna talk about that moment because it is something that I have a lot of thoughts about. And also, even as I go to talk about it, I wanna preface, and this is something I say inside my program all the time. Is that there is no right answer here. It’s just about what’s right for you and honestly, what’s right for you today may not be the same thing that’s right for you six months from now, , or two years from now, and you’re allowed to move through things and change your mind and lean into hope and get your bearings and make a decision. Like all of those things are really, really valid. And so even as I say all this, I just wanna say there’s no right decision, and I am certainly not coming here telling you what to do because if I knew what to do, then I would be, I don’t know, sucking on a pina colada somewhere in, in the deep Caribbean. But my point is that if I knew what to do. Then that would have made my whole journey easier. I was in indecision too. So I understand deeply this place, and I think that this place of indecision has value. I know that sounds so crazy, but I think there’s something to learn in every single part of our lives. And so I wanna talk about this and I wanna talk about this specific moment where you get to the place where you decide you wanna leave. So first of all, I wanna talk about. What is historically what I have seen and what I have experienced in my own life experience of what happens before you get to this moment. Now, I believe you can choose to believe differently, but I believe that women will stay long after it has fizzled out for them because they want to have. A partner, . They wanna have a partnership. They wanna have a life that they had hoped and dreamed about. , When women get married, we want this vision. We, have an idea of what partnership will be, what it’ll be like to possibly raise kids with that person. What our vacations will be like and how we’ll make joint decisions and what all of those components of building a life with somebody actually entail. And when those things are never realized, I truly believe women. I’m using a lot of blanket statements here. I get that. So if you’re a man listening, this can go both ways. , I work with women, whether they’re married to a man or a woman. So I’m just talking from a woman’s perspective here. I believe that women will just try to make things work and they will try. If the vision that they had doesn’t work, they’ll try to adapt to a new vision. I don’t believe that it’s that women only want their way or the highway. I really believe it’s that they’re trying to navigate, well, what does this mean? And when there’s communication issues or when hard decisions are being avoided, or when they as human beings aren’t being seen and met. It becomes this really confusing swirl of, I don’t know what to picture from here, because this isn’t, not only not what I imagined, but it’s also not clear what it is. And I think that moment for a lot of women is where the indecision and the circular thinking about it sets in. Because they can’t make a decision to stay or go when they don’t fully understand what they have. Some moments he meets them where they’re at some moments he doesn’t he’ll, ask for what they’ll need and he’ll say that he’s going to do it and then never does. So that confusion starts to really set in. And so, , the men in my comments sometimes get really angry with this particular post. Because of their own experience with it. But I believe that when you get to this moment where the woman says she’s gonna leave, there is a whole lifetime of work and exhaustion and pleading and trying and adapting that happens before they ever get to that place. And so when they get to that place. It is really a moment where they’re throwing their hands up and saying , I don’t know what else to do from here. And I believe it is a moment where their life force energy is rising up and saying, I will not be lost in this. I cannot be lost in this. And I think the women that really get to the place where they are grasping for their own air in this. And so now here you are. You have been through it trying to get him to hear you and step up and do things differently and become a partner. Even if it’s not the partnership you had in mind. You are willing to adapt and to discover and to create something different, but you never get any clarity or any communication. To tell you what this is, and now you’re taking your one last big deep breath of air before you feel like you just will drown and you say, I can’t do this anymore. I’ve decided that this marriage no longer works for me anymore. And what I see so often in my program is, there’s a moment he maybe takes a beat, maybe he gets mad, maybe he just ignores you. But what I have found in the program is that there is always a pause of some sort, and then it sort of settles. And as it settles, he begins to understand that his experience is about to change. And when that awareness happens, when he recognizes that you are no longer willing. To just keep doing things the way that you had been. Then he wants to show up differently. He wants to talk. He wants to go to therapy. He’s reading the books. He’s saying all the things. Maybe he’s even crying, which you haven’t seen maybe in years. He’s asking you what is it that you need, and he’s telling you that he’s willing to do it. , He will do anything. He’s telling you I am changing. Like it’s been three days. And he’s like, I am changing. , I’m looking at this book, I’m reading this, listening to this podcast. I’m whatever. He’s just telling you to give him a chance.. And so what I wanna talk about today is what, that is what happens inside you when that happens, and how to tell the difference between. Real change and , the same kind of pattern, maybe showing up a little bit differently. And I think most importantly, how do you hold onto what you know to be true without turning into a shell of yourself trying to do it right? Because I think that’s the trap, right? Like in order to protect yourself and your clarity, you think, okay, well I’ve got. Get hard, like I’ve got a armor up here. And so you think that you, need to stop feeling stuff because it is a shell shock. It’s like you got whiplash from it. And so what I wanna talk about is how to move through that whiplash and finding where it is that you really need to go. So I wanna talk about what is actually happening. Inside your body when this change happens, right? When he says this is gonna happen, and when he says, I’m already changing, I’m already doing the work. And maybe he’s learning some words, right? He’s learning some new vocabulary words that make it sound like hopeful and that maybe

Do you use words in everyday communication that make you smaller? In this episode of The Art of Living Big, Betsy shines a light on the little things we were taught as children that we may not even catch ourselves doing as adults. Betsy invites us to catch this reflex, claim our accurate self worth, stop using apologetic language, and maybe we can collectively eliminate shrinking once and for all. PS, who wants to join us in Belize? Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi everyone. Welcome to the show today. So, alright, before we get started, I wanna tell you about this show that I have been watching. I have a hard time, and maybe you’re like this too, but I have a hard time finding a, show to like chill out and watch that isn’t. , I’m gonna say like scary. I don’t want true crime. Like I’m pretty careful about what I put in my brain, you know what I mean? And so it’s hard for me to find something that I actually really enjoy that feels light enough that I’m not stressed out before I go to bed. And , I talked a couple weeks ago about how I got that bed jet. I swear this isn’t. It. I’m not sponsored. I want to be, but I’m not. But I got this bed jet and you turn it on. It’s like this. It blows hot air, basically. Hot or cool air. But my favorite thing in the world is to take a shower at night, get all the pollen off me from the day, turn on turbo mode so that when I get in bed, it’s like cozy and warm and then put on a show and watch a show for 30 minutes or something, and then go to bed. This has become like my, I, it bring, this brings me so much joy. Okay. But what do you watch? Because I don’t wanna be stressed out. I’m not really into reality shows. Like it’s just, I, , maybe I’m super picky, but, I found a show and I started watching it, and it was just so quirky and weird and fun. And then it never ended. I was like, why is this, how am I still watching this show after days and days and days? And I realized there were two seasons. And so it’s a great show to watch ’cause there’s like eight episodes but two seasons and it’s just gets kookier and crazier. So the show is called Palm Royale and it’s on. Apple tv. It’s totally worth getting Apple TV for it. I think , if you’re like me, did you ever see that show the residents on Netflix? It is a Shondaland mystery about a murder at the White House, and it’s quirky and weird like a clue. Remember that board game Clue. , Anyway, this reminds me of it, Palm Royale, but it’s set in Palm Beach, so it’s in the sixties and it’s just quirky and weird and really fun. So anyway, that’s my hot tip for a show if you like to watch something light and not get stressed out before bed. So I’ve got some fun things that are coming up and one of them. Is that we are going to Belize. I know. It’s so fun. I’m so excited. So I don’t have the exact dates, but by the time this airs, it should be live on my website. If you go to betsypake.com and you’ll see live events in the menu and it’ll be there. But we found this place that you’ll fly into the main Belize airport. And then we’ll pick you up and put you on a little plane and shuttle you to like a little island, and we’re gonna spend time together, chilling out and recreating your life. , I’m so excited about the little workshops that have got planned for us. So be on the lookout for that. We’re gonna do it in. July. I think it’s gonna be around the 24th. I don’t have the exact, like I said, I, met with them on our final appointment yesterday to finalize everything. They were gonna confirm everything. The people that I hired to do this, and it will be live hopefully by the time you’re listening to this. So I’m like so, so excited to get to see people and hang out and spend time together at the beach. And just like that place I heard is like amazing snorkeling. It’s like going into an aquarium. Anyway, it’s gonna be amazing. I haven’t had a beach trip yet this year, and , I need to have a beach trip before it hits like hurricane season. And so anyway, I’m super excited and I hope, that you can join me, which brings me to what I wanted to talk to you about today. We’re gonna talk about something that I think that every single one of us that’s listening has probably done. Maybe you’ve already done it today, multiple times. And I wanna talk about all the ways that we make ourselves smaller, and I don’t mean physically, although we have been told to do that too. But I mean, in the way that we shrink our opinions, dismiss ourselves the way that we use words to make ourselves appear more submissive or. Smaller, you know, your, your needs are not as important and you’re just asking, you’re just suggesting you can dismiss my thought if you want, and maybe this is something that you’ve got good at and you’re not doing anymore, but I noticed that I did this yesterday and when I did it, I was like, oh my gosh, I’m doing this thing. So here’s what happened. I’ve been working on this retreat with this really lovely company that’s helping me plan it, and I’ve been working with this woman and she set up like a preliminary page for our retreat, and they asked me, like for my bio, and I sent over the bios that I have and pictures of me, stuff like that. So she puts all the information on there. And when I’m looking at it under my name, it says Coach. It says coach, speaker, and writer. And that is what’s in my bio. It’s like a media bio that we sent her. But it said, coach and I looked at it for a long time and look, , I am a coach. But it didn’t feel right. To me, you know, I’ve been coaching since 2012. I’m a certified master coach. I’m, trained up to the level of trainer. I can train coaches and therapists to do what I do. I have multiple certifications and I’ve gone in deep with those. I’m highly, trained and I have spent over a decade doing this work. I have built a program, I have had a podcast for nine years. I wrote a book. I have another book that’s. In process right now, I have helped thousands of women go through some of the hardest decisions of their lives, and when I looked at it, it said coach. And so when I went to write her an email. And I thought, I’m just gonna ask her to update that. , It should at minimum, say, master coach and I don’t need to have all my credentials and the letters after my name and all that stuff, but , I needed to have it, not just say, coach, that wasn’t accurate. And I started the email and I wrote, I know this is gonna sound silly, but. And as soon as I got that out, I was like, oh my God. I, was at a coffee shop and I like sat back at the coffee shop, looked around the room, like I looked around the room actually at women and men that were there, and I thought, would the men do that? , And this has nothing to do with. Our chromosomes. I’m not, it doesn’t have anything to do with our gender. It has to do with our socialization. Right? Would men do that? Why is this silly? Like, why did I wanna say, I know this sounds silly. Why am I pre apologizing for asking to be accurately represented? Why am I padding a, completely reasonable and totally professional, not even remotely complicated request with language that immediately tells the other person that I don’t fully believe that I deserve what I’m asking for. And so I deleted the email, deleted the opener, changed it, sent the email, and just said, Hey, I see that I’m. Posted and listed as Coach. Would you mind changing that to Master Coach? Done. But I kept thinking about that moment because of the, I know it sounds silly. I know it sounds silly. That wasn’t for her. She didn’t need it. She probably didn’t even notice. She didn’t care. Like she doesn’t, okay. Master coach, whatever that language was for me, it was a reflex a, habit, right? That is. I think so deeply grooved in the way that it ran before I even noticed it, like before I even consciously noticed it. I typed it out. That language was for me. And so that’s really what I wanna talk about today. So here’s what I want to make, , I wanna make clear, here’s what I would like you to understand in this. Making yourself smaller isn’t humility. It’s not being humble. It’s just a habit, and it’s a habit that most of us have been practicing since we were really little. It’s a habit that kept us safe, that we were taught like explicitly and implicitly that confidence is arrogance. Boys aren’t taught that. We were taught that taking up space is really selfish and that being proud of yourself or being proud of what you’ve built or who you are means that you think you are better than someone else. And so we learned to pre-frame everything, , almost like to pre apologize, to downplay every accomplishment that we have. So we say things like, I don’t know if this is right, but, and this is probably a dumb question, I’m just wondering. I’m just a mom. I’m just a coach. I’m just a woman trying to figure it out. Just I’m just, ugh. And I feel like that word is doing so much damage. We use it to. , I wanna say like even cut ourselves down before somebody else gets the chance to, in my comments a couple days ago, I have been doing these posts once a week for the past three weeks, and it is a carousel post on Instagram where I share something about how I’m rebuilding my life in my fifties. So the first one was sort of like an overview of how I got here. The second one was about how I am choosing to rent instead of buy, and the reasons why and why I think that can be a really good choice for people. And the third one was about doi

Have you ever been asked this? Which way does your intuition want you to answer? In this week’s podcast, Betsy asks her listeners if they are fully committed or loosely involved and how that outlook can apply to the everyday choices we make. She encourages us to ask ourselves if we are bravely invested or a little wishy washy, because we may be in mid life but we don’t want to be mid. Also, if you are local to Atlanta, please consider meeting up for coffee on April 11th. All of the information is on betsypake.com. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hey everyone. Welcome to the podcast today. Welcome to The Art of Living Big. How has your adventure been going over the past week? I am suffering from the pollen, so you may kind of hear it in my voice. Pollen in Atlanta right now is unhinged. It’s always really bad. But right now it’s really unhinged. I am taking Zyrtec or Claritin, depending on the day. Flonase. I have a air purifier in my apartment. I’m wearing a mask, like an infected person walking around outside to keep the pollen out. I am Netty potting every time I go outside and come back in. I shower before bed and wash my hair and change my pillowcases, and I am still really suffering. It’s really bad. I got one of those memberships to get your car cleaned because the pollen was coming into my car. And so every other day, I am going to bring my car. It gives me, it gives me a project. You guys, it gets me outta the house, but I’m going to wash my car, go through the car wash because. Everything is just covered in yellow. It’s just insane. So anyway, I will keep this one short ’cause I know my voice is a little funky and , that may be really annoying. It may not have been annoying if I hadn’t said it, but now that I’ve given you permission to have it be annoying, you won’t be able to not hear it. But let’s, just move along with the show today. Okay. So in the spirit of keeping this one short today, I have a. A thought. Something I was thinking about this morning when I was getting ready for my day and I was thinking about this possible move to California. I was thinking about how. I realized I really need to be consistent with my working out and not from a, like I need to lose some weight perspective or I need my body to look different. It’s actually ’cause I need my body to work a little bit different. I had a massage therapist come this morning, early. Early. She came at eight o’clock in the morning. I was barely awake. This is a woman that I’ve used for years and she just comes to my apartment. It’s, it sounds luxurious and it is that she comes to my apartment, but, , she’s really not any more expensive that if I went to a spa, , ’cause she just works for herself and came over. And I told her that I sit so much for work and I do try and sit stand throughout the day. I have one of those standing desks, but I sit so much that my back is just, it’s just tight. My lower back is tight, my shoulders are hunched ’cause I’m working away my keyboard, , looking down all the time and I’m like, I really need to be. Getting a lot more activity for my posterior chain, , for like all down my back. , I need to have my hamstrings engaged. The bottoms of my feet have been hurting, and I’m not walking, I’m sitting. But it’s because everything is just tight from being kind of like folded like a lawn chair, you know? I was thinking about that and about how I need to just move my body because it needs to be moved, not because the mood has hit me, or I suddenly have a goal for something. And I was thinking about all these choices that we have in our lives and how committed we are to those choices. And I remember years ago I used to ask coaching clients when we would come up with goals. For things is, this was before the navigate method, but I would say, are you hammer eggs? Are you hammer eggs? That was the question. And they would say, Hmm. It feels more like eggs. Eggs is like, you know, , an egg is, you know, the chicken doesn’t have to die to have to give you the egg, right? It’s, it’s the egg, ? But if you’re ham, you’re committed. You’ve committed so much to breakfast that you’ve given your life for breakfast. So is it eggs or is it ham? And I was asking myself like, oh, if I’ll think about it that way, am I hammer eggs with this moving my body? And I’m, I’ve moved into ham because it has to be ham. I was eggs before, so I moved, uh, you know, I worked out, I had my little workout thing I do once or twice a week when it, the mood struck. I was thinking about this move to the beach. Am I ham or eggs? I’m not sure. I’m, I’m leaning into ham territory of like, I’m going to make a brave choice. And so I started thinking about this with everything that we do, and if we put it in the perspective of what is it that I really want and do I really want anything? That’s just eggs. I wrote something on social media a week or two ago and so many people resonated with it. And what it was, this idea of being, having a life that is mid. I like, I’m in midlife, but I don’t want a life that’s mid, that’s how I explained it in the post mid is eggs. Mid is eggs. It’s not, it’s not ham. Now, I know this is kind of a silly little thing, but I wanted to share it with you this week so that you can just think through my choices. Think through your choices. Am I ham or eggs? Am I wishy-washy or am I committed? , Sometimes it makes sense to be eggs, and sometimes you choose eggs when it’s time to be ham. So. I think when you know the difference, that is how you live a big life. All right. I will see you next week with a much more lengthy episode when I am feeling like my brain is back in my body. All right, y’all, I love you so much. Don’t forget, in uh, , in Atlanta on April 11th, we’re having a live coffee live. We’re gonna all meet up for coffee. And the point of this is so. That I get to hug you, but also so you meet other people and make friends, and that could be a really cool thing. So you can find out all the information on my website. It’s right in the header. It’ll say like live events, and just choose Atlanta Coffee, and I will see you there. All right. Bye y’all. See you next week. Thanks for joining me on The Art of Living Big. I hope today’s episode sparked something within you, maybe pushed you to dream a little bit bigger and live a little larger. Don’t forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share this podcast with someone you know who might need a little inspiration today. You can find me over on Instagram at Betsy Pake and on my YouTube channel. Remember, the world is vast. Your potential is endless, and your life, it’s yours to shape. Until next time, keep reaching, keep exploring, and keep living big.

Do you remember the ‘choose your own adventure’ books? In this episode of The Art of Living Big, Betsy explores the idea of living out our choices in life just like the books we remember from childhood. What if we decided to go to an Early Bird Dance Party? What if we moved to the place we always dreamed of living? What if you only thought about those things but never acted on them? If you have pondered an idea over time and need a little nudge, this will be it! Enjoy it on a walk or a drive and be sure to join us for our Fireside Chat on April 5th and if you are close to Atlanta, come have coffee with Betsy on April 11th. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi everyone. Welcome to the show today. Okay,, I wanna tell you about the Early Bird Dance Party. Before we get started, I wanna tell you about this thing that I went to. You know, as I have talked over the past, like couple years about recreating my life as a single person in my fifties, and how I’ve found friends and the things that I have been interested in and discovered about myself and all of those things. And , like me, , you probably get most of your information from Instagram. And I got an ad that kept being shown to me for the Early Bird Dance Club and it is a. Idea that these two women had about wanting to go out and dance, but not wanting to start the night at 10:00 PM and get home at three. , They had stuff to do in the morning and so they created. These events at clubs like all over the country where you come at six and it ends at like 10, I think. So it’s like for women who want to go out but still have shit to do in the morning, I think that’s the tagline. So I had seen it and then my friend Elizabeth reached out to me and she’s like, do you wanna go to this with me? The tickets sell out really fast. So if we wanna go, we gotta get tickets. And this was like in January, and so I was like, yeah, let’s do it. So we got tickets. It was me and my friend Elizabeth, and my friend Dina. Now I’m gonna pause for one second. ’cause I wanna tell you, if you listened to my episode about how I was rebuilding my life in my fifties as a single woman, I talked about going to those time left dinners, Elizabeth. Somebody that I met at time left and then she invited me out for dinner with two of her other friends a few months later. And this woman, Dina was there. So I went out to the early bird dance party with Elizabeth and Dina. I’m, connecting the dots there. Just so you can see, and I know this sounds silly ’cause you’re probably like, I know how we make friends Betsy, but for me that. Can, that was not an obvious thing. I just thought like, I’m, I,, I don’t know how to meet people, but that’s how, so you meet, I went to a million time lefts. I met several good friends from there, and then. , They had other friends and so we all met up. So I will have Elizabeth meet my other friends and we’ll go to dinner together too, so she can meet them. So I think it, it’s like just a nice way. And I see women doing this all the time including, , we’re, we’re not in a circle, we’re in a horseshoe. Everybody’s welcome in. And so that’s who we went with. So back to the story. So Elizabeth is like, let’s go me and Dina and you will go. So you get there at six o’clock, you get there at six o’clock, you dance your little heart out, and we ended up leaving at eight 30. Dina had to get up really early in the morning on Saturday, and Elizabeth I think was heading off on a trip , out of state or out of the country. She travels a lot, so. We went. I mean, I gotta tell you, we got there right at six. We were the first ones on the dance floor. ’cause we basically just walked in and walked right to the dance floor. The songs in the beginning, I’m gonna be honest, weren’t the best. Like they had a work in nine to five when it hit the work in nine to five. I was like, okay, , we gotta, we can, do better. We can do better. That’s a good, it’s a banger, but it not. Really what I want for my dance party. Disco balls are going, you know what I mean? All the lights and it really did get better, but it was a lot of like nineties music. The place was packed., It was women only, so it was just like packed with girlfriends having fun. , It was just so fun and so nice. And then it was so fun. But we were all pooped and everybody had to stuff to do in the morning. We left at eight 30. We got outside. I was like, first of all. I’m really proud of everyone’s knees in there because people were doing the low, low, low, low, you know, apple bottom jeans and the boots. I was like, how are people getting so low? ’cause my knees, I just will not. And then when we left, Dina was like, oh my God, it’s still light out. It was still light out, but it was really so fun. So if you have a chance to go to the early bird dance party, go to that. It’s really fun. And just like a cool thing, , if you haven’t seen my Instagram stories, we are having a coffee. In a bunch of different locations, live coffees where you can come meet me for coffee. It’s less about meeting me and more about meeting other people in your community, right? So like other women that follow me or whatever, , have come across the page and want to come and meet and make friends. So we’re doing them in Atlanta. It’s April 11th in Atlanta, and. On my website, there’s gonna be a link that says coffees, and then there’ll be a dropdown with all the different locations. I, Atlanta is up there. Now the other ones are being put up as we get the date, but it’s gonna be Atlanta, San Diego, New York City, Nashville, London, and I think there was one other place. Maybe that’s it. We’re thinking, I know I get a lot of requests for Chicago, , and maybe we’ll do something in South Florida. So just a way to be able to get together, grab a coffee, come and meet people, and then you have meeting people in your community. You know what I mean? Which I think is so fun. So be on the lookout for the coffee and community events. And then of course our fireside chat is live this month and it’s on the website. You can get to it. On the menu we’ll have it put like events so we can have all of that underneath. ’cause I don’t want you guys to get confused. But the fireside chat is virtual. It’s on Zoom and it’s on Easter. It’s at night on Easter. So I get it. If you can’t, if you got family stuff, but you might have family stuff in the morning, and then by 7:00 PM Eastern, you’re done with family and you wanna come join me or you don’t have any family stuff going on, and then you have a chance to come and do something and be with other people. You know that also are free at 7:00 PM Eastern. So that is just like a non-scripted, not recorded zoom time for everybody to get together and just have community no matter where you are. So those are some of the events that you could come and join me, which I would love. Okay, so now I have a story and I’m gonna tell you this story. With a caveat. And the caveat is the same caveat that I tell women in the Navigate method, which is everything is written in pencil. Like we get to change our minds, we get to shift, we get to learn more information, we get to go back, go forward, whatever it is that we need. Okay. So as we move forward in the months ahead, I want you to keep that in mind because it’s. A little risky that I’m telling you this, but it’s also true and it feels really true. And so I wanna tell you this weekend I was. Free most of the weekend I had my dance party, and then Saturday I ran errands. And then Sunday was just meant to be like a rest day. And on Saturday morning I was making my coffee. And I do this thing that I do, which is I make my coffee and if I don’t have a message from a friend, lots of times I have two girlfriends that I. Voice memo with. And if I don’t have a voice memo to listen to, I call it my morning podcast. I pretend I have a roommate and I listen. , But if I don’t have one of those, then what I do is I talk as if I’m standing in the kitchen of my beach house and I’m talking to some friends who have come to visit and they’re planning their day. And I’m asking what the beach plans are for the day. I’m letting them know if they walk right out the back door on the beach and they take a left, there’s a volleyball tournament. , Sometimes I let them know that I get done at three. If they wanna meet up for cocktails, I’ll have cocktails. Sometimes I say , I’m gonna have Chef Greg come. I know, I know. This is crazy. I’m gonna have Chef Greg come. At six. So you guys have your whole day at the beach, and then if you wanna come home and shower and then just be ready, chef Greg’s gonna make sushi or whatever. I decide the meal is gonna be okay. So I’ve been doing this for months, months, talking about my beach house and welcoming my friends. It’s the most fun, like it puts me in the best mood like it. I just love it. Now, if you’re fairly new here, you might not know for the past, , 40 years, I have wanted to move to the beach. Why don’t I live at the beach? Well, there was always a lot of reasons and , I, my daughter was here, she was growing up, she, her dad lives here and I was married to my former husband who is an attorney and he’s licensed in Georgia. So then we thought about moving to the coast of Georgia, but that’s not really the beach I had in mind. Like so many things. It just never was the right timing. And , there was a time. When I very first left my mar

In this episode of The Art of Living Big, Betsy shares some profound insights on grief. She explains that it’s not linear and how we can grow bigger than it. How relationships with those we have lost can change form rather than end, and why hope is a brave decision. This one will move you. Oh, and who doesn’t want a bed jet? Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hello. Hi everyone. Welcome to the Art of Living Big. I’m excited to do this episode today, which when we, as I say that, when we get to the topic, you’re gonna be like, wow, you’re excited about talking about this really heavy thing, but I, promise there’s hope in it, and I think that’s the really important part in all this. So last week I did an episode where it was really just me breaking the seal of coming back. So thank you for to so many of you for listening. I am so just so grateful that you accept me back into your ears while you go about your daily tasks. And,, and let me talk with you. I. Wanna tell you a couple other things, and again, if you’re new here, you’re gonna be like, why is she telling me this? I, I don’t know if you’ve been here a while, you’ve kind followed along the journey whether you wanted to or not. And so I’m gonna give you a couple quick updates. My teeth are complete. That is one of my updates. If you remember last year I had dental work that had to be done. I had, , cap and I had a couple weird teeth things. I don’t even remember now what it was, but it was a lot of stuff and it was stuff that I had kind of put off for a couple years. Anyway, once I had that done, I got Invisalign because I had a lot of strange gaps in my teeth that I didn’t have most of my adult life. It, just started happening as I really started clenching my teeth these past few years, and so I. Got my Invisalign. The Invisalign is over, and then I got two new front teeth, I guess I got bonded so that the little space between my teeth was. , Filled in, I guess you could say. I don’t know, I think, I don’t think anybody that meets me that doesn’t know me would notice to me. It looks like I have a couple of chiclets in my front, two front teeth, but I’m getting used to it and it does feel really good to have like a even smile, you know? And I see my teeth so much because of how I record on Instagram. So anyway. My teeth are complete. And it just feels really good to have that journey done. I mean, it’s been like a two year journey to get my, to get them teeth straight. And now I have this really incredible mouth guard that I can wear at night that is, I don’t know, it’s just space, age and amazing. And , I’m happy about that. So that’s keeping my teeth from ever moving again, and it feels really good. So, if you’ve been here for a while, you know that I am. A big fan of sleep, like I really like my bed and I like to sleep, so I wanna tell you about something that I bought. It is not sponsored. I tried to get them to sponsor me for a year. I was messaging and filling out forms on their website. Never, did they reach out to me, which I was like, I am the perfect person to talk about this because I’m obsessed with sleep for one thing, and I. Have a whole audience of women who are right where I am, where you likely need this thing. Now I’m gonna tell you what the thing is, and I’m gonna tell you my honest to God truth about it. But first I just wanna talk about sleep and how much I love it. Okay? So, if you’ve been here, you know, cozy Earth is one of our sponsors. You can get 20% off anything on the website. , You use the code live big Betsy, and you can get 20% off, but. Yeah, that’s neither here nor there for this episode. What I really wanna tell you is that if you followed, you know that I’m obsessed with their house coat. Okay? So this is like my routine. Are you ready? Because if you really want some insane, , cozy sleep, I’m about to give you all the things. I have an aura ring and that gives me my sleep score, right? So if you’re familiar with that, I routinely get 94, 96 sleep scores. I don’t know what happens when you get a hundred. I have a feeling I’d there would be a parade outside for me if I got to a hundred. But my point is I get really high sleep scores now. It. Is it one thing or another? I don’t know. But I’m gonna tell you all the things because there may be a piece of one of these things that helps you. Okay. Enough of the lead up, let me tell you. So there is this, and again, none of this is sponsored except for Cozy Earth isn’t really sponsored. They give us a, they sponsor this show, not this particular episode, but I love them. So what I do is I have this. Bath salts. That’s a magnesium bath salt, and it’s called flu, F-L-E-U-D fluid. I have a subscription, I don’t know, it’s 20 bucks a month and I get three of them. So I do a fleud about once a week, and it is like a high concentration of magnesium, but different from Epsom salts. It makes me feel so chilled out. , There’s other stuff in it, but it is amazing. I put it in my tub and I set a timer so that I stay in there at least 20 minutes and those nights,, and I typically notice this will last four or five nights, and then I notice I need to do another one, or that it makes my sleep better if I do another one. So what I’m about to tell you, the rest of the, this is why I could never have a partner ’cause of all, the things I’m about to tell you. So I take my fleud bath, I put on my cozy earth. House coat, that’s what it’s called on the website. It is basically a comforter that they cut into the shape of a house coat. I put it in the dryer. Okay. I put it in the dryer so it gets warm, and then I put it on when I’ve just gotten outta the shower or gotten outta the bathtub. Okay? Now I walk into my bedroom and I turn on. Turbo. Turbo mode of my bed jet. Okay, so the bed jet is the thing I was saying. I was trying to get them to sponsor me and they didn’t. I’m gonna tell you, the bed jet is like a machine that goes underneath your bed and there’s a hose, like a vacuum cleaner hose that goes into a sheet, a special bed jet sheet. Okay. This sheet lives above your top sheet and under your comforter. Okay? And it’s got these channels that go all the way up through the sheet. And on the bottom part of that sheet, it’s like a, it’s like a envelope. Do you know what I mean? It has two sides. The bottom side is porous, and so the air comes out. From the bottom onto you, and the comforter that you have on top keeps that air contained inside the bed. Okay? So they have turbo mode and it’s 10 minutes of hot air and high fan, and it heats your little bed up to the coziest thing. So now I have on the cozy earth housecoat, I am deliciously relaxed because I’ve had a fluid bath. I’m cozy. I turn on turbo mode, it gets everything all set up. I get in and it’s warm. It’s not too hot, it’s warm. It’s really great. Now. Now the next thing I do. Is I have a special pillow for between my knees, so my knees don’t go knocking together. ’cause I sleep on my side. I, have, I didn’t realize how ridiculous this was until I started really telling you I have a purple bed, which is a specific kind of bed and that I love. I’m obsessed with it. I have a friend that told me to buy one. She bought one for everybody and her family, they’re amazing. Again, no sponsorship. I should have one purple bed. The pillow that keeps my knees from knocking together. I have a NOD pod, which I’m a huge fan of the Nod Pod. A couple years ago I spent $3,000 at Christmas time on Nod Pods for people I love. So the Nod Pod is a weighted eye pillow that goes over your eyes and helps your parasympathetic nervous system and helps you relax into a deeper state of relaxation. So here I am. I’m in the cozy bed. The fan is off now ’cause it’s been 10 minutes so Turbo Mode is done. I’m in the purple bed. I have the Nod pod. I also have a Nod Pod body. I will tell you, I bought the no brand one on Amazon, but it’s, , a weighted blanket that’s just the size of your torso. Okay, so now I got this weight. I got my mouth guard in. Now I hit the dry button. On my bed Jet, it has cool mode, but it also has dry, which just rotates the air around so it’s not too hot, it’s not too cold. And then when I get really hot, , as one does at one o’clock in the morning, I press the cool button. The, remote control is huge and lit up, and , the words are big. So I don’t need my glasses and I can hit cool in it. Sends like shot a shot of cool air around the inside of my bed and it is heaven. So I know that’s a lot of things. What did I say? Food bath. The. Housecoat heated housecoat turbo mode on the bed jet, the purple bed, the nod pod, the nod pod body, and the custom mouth guard. But I’m telling you what like it is. It is really good. It is really good. I sleep really good. Okay, so what was that like 10 minutes of telling you all my crazy, sleep schedule. But we do what we have to do. I do believe that sleep may be like one of the most important things. To keep ourselves healthy and to keep ourselves going, , and to have the energy to be able to do all the things we need to do every day. So anyway, that is my crazy sleep story. But you can get your cozy Earth stuff. Make sure to use the coupon code ’cause it’s 20% off, which I think is great.. I’m a big fan of the Cozy Socks too. Anyway, this episode is not sponsored by them, but I’m obsessed, so I feel like I, they’re like, which episodes do you want u

In the words of Phil from The Hangover…We’re back baby, we are baaackkk! It’s been a hot minute so Betsy gives us a little update in this newest episode of The Art of Living Big. Betsy talks about her trip to Marrakesh and the spontaneous way it came to fruition as well as the quote she came across that made her reflect back on 2019 and then imagine 2033. Enjoy this short and sweet recap, then get ready for more big living ahead. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi everyone. Welcome to the show today. So I’m doing this show if you have been here. If you’ve been here for a long time, like a year, couple years, maybe even for the long haul, I, feel like I need to do a quick life update mostly to get myself back in the pattern of doing these shows. It got really hectic here at the Navigate Method over the last couple months, and I kept thinking, I’m gonna get to it, I’m gonna get to it. But now. I have some shows and show ideas that I’m ready to come to you with, but I thought, you know what? I’m gonna make sure I get a show to you this week. And so I’m just gonna do like a little catch up and, , if you’re brand new here, you might be like, I, don’t know why I need to catch up of her life. Just get to the shows and I hear you. This one may be one for you to skip and to go to the others, , to all the episodes that are in the backlog, but. For those of you that have been here for a while, I wanted to give you a quick update on a couple things, and then it gets me in the pattern of showing up and then next week it’s not quite so scary to come back. Isn’t that silly? You know, when you haven’t called a friend in a while. Anyway, we’ve been down this road a couple times over the past few years, so let me just dive right into it. Alright. I went to Morocco last month. I wanna tell you quickly about that. Years ago I went to Iceland and I was gone to Iceland for a month. So I know that was a little different. , But I did three episodes about all the things I learned and , , all the wonderful things about Iceland. But this is really what I wanna tell you about Morocco. I got this idea that I wanted to go to Marrakesh, and back in November I went for a walk. When I was at one of my coaching events, so with my coach and somebody new was in the group and she and I went for a walk. And as we were walking I mentioned that I really wanted to go to Marrakesh and she was like, let’s go. And we opened our phones. I had points for days, so we opened our phones and booked our trip for just a few months later. And I remember thinking like. I really hope I, end up liking this woman, but it turns out she was lovely. We talk all the time and we had such a good trip. We went on a Tuesday and came back on a Sunday. It wasn’t a long trip. It’s hard sometimes to get away for a long time, but it was so great to experience a different culture and to immerse ourselves in something so different and really. So unique and really wonderful. I really loved Marrakesh It, it was extraordinary on multiple levels, but one of the things that I think is really cool, and maybe the lesson in this is that sometimes it’s hard to fit in things that we want to do. Hence me just doing this podcast today. Sometimes it’s hard to find the time right to fit it in and to create the space for the things we really wanna experience in our lives. And sometimes just being spontaneous and not having it be perfect and figuring it out as you go. We were literally on the airplane going, okay, what are the things that we wanna be doing? And , anytime. You decide like I’m going to Marrakesh, or I’m going to Australia, or wherever you’re going, all of a sudden you’re gonna start to see people that you know that have just come back or are planning a trip and everybody goes, oh, you need to check this out. You need to check. So we had a little list. We planned it on the plane and it couldn’t have gone any better. Honestly, it was the greatest trip we fit so much in. We walked all over. We took private food tours, we got private motorcycle rides around Marrakesh, so we could see all kinds of things that we wouldn’t have seen if we just stayed inside , the area where we were staying in our Riyadh and. I mean, it was just really incredible. I got to see a friend of mine, Jane Green. If you are a fan of her books, you might know her. And she lives in Marrakesh and just was really a really fantastic trip. So, highly recommend Marrakesh, but also I highly recommend being spontaneous and not having to figure it all out, and not having to make it be perfect before you just do it, ? I read a book called Stranger by Bell Burden. I’m gonna tell you that when my friend Molly told me to get this book and I downloaded it to my Kindle, and , probably like you, you get a new book and you’re like, I’ll read a couple pages and just see how it goes. I looked down and I did not look up until the book was over. It was about four hours. I just read and read, and read. I was on the airplane, so it worked out. There was no place else to go or nothing else to do, but this book was so good and it, she is a socialite and she is in New York City and has a home that they bought on the vineyard and. Tells the story about her husband deciding to leave her and how she walks you through it. It feels like you’re really with her on the moment if that kind of content is a little triggering to you. Just a warning, but it was so well written and such a great book, , so if you were looking for a new book to read, I just wanna highly suggest that one to you. I have been talking about really relaunching the YouTube channel now for months, and I think we’ve got it figured out. It just took a whole lot of gear and planning, but in April. Please check out the YouTube channel because we’re gonna be launching videos every single week that on Tuesdays, so this show will come out on Thursdays and the YouTube channel will come out on Tuesdays. So if. Please check that out. , You can find a link for that YouTube channel anywhere, , Instagram, on my website, wherever you wanna go. And if you email us, we can give that to you as well. So I think it’s gonna be great. I’m excited to do it in this new way, and I hope that you come and join along , on that little journey. All right, so before I head out for today, and like I said, it’s a quick update, but I saw this quote this morning and it said, gosh, the version of me from March, 2019 would be so proud of the version of me today. And I thought. I wonder what the version of me in 2019 was doing. And so because I keep an online journal, I went right back to 2019 and read so many of my posts and. , I was in the thick of it at that time, wanting to leave, being really miserable in my marriage. And looking back here like we was too, and just feeling really stuck. Like I had no options. And , I do think the version of me from 2019 would be pleased to see where things are today. A lot of. The things I used to dream about are here in my life right now, but it also made me think about the version of me in 2033, that same amount of time, and what is it that she would be pleased to see? What is it where she would go, oh wow. What a difference. How do I wanna live my life? How do I wanna? Show up more authentically. The things that I was thinking about was like, what are the things I really wanna cultivate? Where do I wanna spend my time? Who do I wanna spend my time with, and what do I want that to look like? , Sometimes jumping ahead five years or 10 years to make goals feels really overwhelming to me, but for some reason, becoming the version of me. Seven years from now and looking back gave me a different perspective and didn’t feel quite so overwhelming, and it made me shift more from things I was doing or goals I had to accomplish to an appreciation and the way I was experiencing my life. As opposed to the goals that I had, and that’s been a big shift for me over the past, even like three or four months I think, of just like really honing in, I think, and enjoying the things that are happening. And so I wanted to share that with you in case that perspective shifted some things for you too. So thanks for being here with me today on this. Very short episode, but the one that brings me back, the one that breaks the seal on me not being here. I appreciate you so much , and thanks for all your messages on Instagram and asking when the new show is coming out next week, it will be way more planned out, and I have some really good topics that you guys have asked me about and that I’ll be able to come in and talk about. , All right, I hope that you have a great week and I’ll see you next time. Thanks for joining me on The Art of Living Big. I hope today’s episode sparked something within you, maybe pushed you to dream a little bit bigger and live a little larger. Don’t forget to subscribe. Leave us a review and share this podcast with someone you know who might need a little inspiration today. You can find me over on Instagram at betsy pake and on my YouTube channel. Remember, the world is vast. Your potential is endless. And your life. It’s yours to shape. Until next time, keep reaching, keep exploring, and keep living big.

In this episode of The Art of Living Big, Betsy discusses the concept of relationship deflation, where connections gradually lose emotional engagement without any overt conflict or drama. Do you feel expanded or deflated after your relationship interactions? Betsy also touches on how to handle the end of relationships gracefully while staying true to one’s own path and growth. Last but not least – Betsy has collected your questions so stay tuned for an upcoming Q & A and continue to ask more on the socials. Transcript  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi everyone. Welcome to the Art of Living Big. If you’re new here, welcome. I haven’t posted in the last couple weeks. It’s been really, really busy here, and , I had to prioritize self-care, I think in all of this. You know right now if you live in the United States, you might be feeling what I’m feeling, which is just a lot of heaviness and I think confusion and grief and overwhelm, and , it feels like, how could this be real? What’s happening? Ugh. It’s really heavy. And so if that’s where you are, that’s where I’ve been to. And so I decided certain things were just gonna. Go on hold. And I think that’s okay as we get our bearings. And I needed to put the things that were most important. You know, our clients put them first and have space and energy for them, and I think I’ve been really successful in doing that, but it made me not overhear on the podcast. So I’m excited to be back today and to have some space to be able to talk with you. , Over on Instagram, I’ve been getting just so many messages about the videos that we’ve been doing over there, and I think that sometimes it can be really helpful to have words to understand. What we are feeling in our body. , I don’t think I’m saying anything over there that people haven’t felt, but they just didn’t know how to dissect it or how to translate it maybe into language. And so , I’m pleased that I’m able to do that over there. And so today I wanted to talk about something and I think it’s something that happens inside relationships. , Typically when they’re ending, and this doesn’t just have to mean a romantic relationship, I think it can mean a lot of relationships. , I’m noticing it right now in several of my relationships, and it’s not a bad thing. It just is a thing. And I think that if we are feeling it, likely the other person is feeling it, to some , extent too. So it’s not like when you’re fighting, I’m thinking about the relationships I have that are ., I call it like closing the loop. It’s just, there’s no big disagreement or marker that says like, this is no longer working. It’s just sort of deflation. That’s how it feels to me. I was thinking the other day, I had an interaction with somebody and I was like, you know what?, I’m done showing up when the other person isn’t showing up. . It’s like they reach out ’cause they want connection, but , they’re not actually available to show up and do the work of being in relationship. You know, whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship or anything. I don’t think it matters. But I noticed this the other day and I was like, you know what? No hard feelings. I’m not mad., I just don’t feel anything. It feels like a deflated balloon. And in some aspects I think this can be a. , Relieving feeling. , It’s this feeling of like, why am I even here? , , why am I putting any energy into this at all? What’s the point of the interaction? And so I wanna talk about that moment a little bit today because it is information, , and as we move forward and make decisions about our life and what’s right for us and what’s not right for us. Every piece of interaction or feeling or acknowledgement is information, and that helps us to have discernment so that we know how we want to move forward. A couple years ago. I was at an Abraham Hicks event, a live event, if you are familiar with Abraham Hicks. If you’re not, you can go just search through my podcasts. And I did a couple episodes describing what this is, but I went and saw Abraham Hicks. I think this is where I heard this it, or it was right around that time that I heard this on one of the many recordings of Abraham Hicks that you can find on YouTube. And what they said was, when you’re in a relationship. You are not, and of course Abraham Hicks said this much more eloquently than I’m going to. But it’s not just a relationship with the two of you. Like you think you’re in a room with the person you’re in a relationship with, and it’s you and them, but really it’s about you and your higher self, your inner knower. , That’s who you have to have the relationship with. You have to be so clear on who you are and what you want and what you stand for and all of those things. And they do too. And when you do that, it becomes clear if there is a relationship here at all. Otherwise you just become disinterested. And I remember that component of it is like, it’s not that you’re mad or sad or glad or whatever. There’s like a disinterested. The other night when I experienced this, I was like, this is what this is. It’s a deflation. It is. I’m so aligned with my inner knower that , being even in the room with the other, , it’s like you don’t want anything bad for them. You just are done putting any energy there at all. And I think that many times when we are frustrated. With somebody and we’re in a relationship. And when I say relationship, I’m gonna keep saying this. It could be friendship. So it could be friendship, it could be, , romantic relationship, right? But when there is frustration, right? When you’re like, oh my God, will you just listen to me? Or why don’t they see it the way I see it? All of that, when you’re frustrated, frustration, I think still has hope, like frustration carries an element. Of activation, right? Where you’re explaining or hoping or trying to be understood. , Frustration says , maybe if I say this differently or if I try one more time, or if I show up a little bit differently, like they’ll finally get it. They’ll finally get my perspective. And honestly, I may be wrong, but I know for myself, I don’t need somebody to agree with me. I really don’t, but I need them to step forward to try to understand my perspective. And if I don’t get, that’s where the disconnect is. It’s not when they’re just trying to convince me that I’m wrong. There’s frustration in that for me because there is still hope that they will step forward , and meet me where I’m at. Deflation I think is totally different. , I think happens when our nervous system just says, you know what, there is nothing left here to work with. , There’s nothing, there’s no charge. There’s no activation, there’s no fighting. There’s just a, like a disinterest. Going back to what Abraham Hicks says, you’ll just be like, I’m just not interested. , I just don’t care. And that is when your body says, oh, like this is totally empty. And I think that deflation happens a lot in relationships where there isn’t a lot of harm. And I’m gonna explain what I mean. I think that deflation can’t happen when there’s a lot of activation, when there’s a lot of harm, when there’s a lot of feeling of , I need you to see me and you’re not seeing me. I don’t think deflation can happen in that environment. I don’t think it happens when there’s yelling or, , obvious emotional abuse or anything like that. I think it is really subtle, and this is how come, I think sometimes we see this a lot in friendships because they’re less charged. So like when things just kind of fizzle out. And so I think , the shift here is when one person is speaking from something that is, I’m gonna say like important or meaningful to them, like it has meaning and the other person responds with. Really surfacey or a subject change or logistics, , it’s nothing hostile. , It’s not that person like shaming or blaming or fighting. None of it is loud, but nothing actually meets what was said and over time. This takes a lot of time, I think, but over time our nervous system starts to track this pattern. Like I speak, I, share something, right? Which that is relationship I share and I am met. So I share something and it’s just , goes nowhere, right? Like it just gets overstepped or bypassed or whatever, and eventually your nervous system stops. Reaching, it stops reaching for connection with that person because what you’re getting, your nervous system registers is not okay or not really holding any kind of attention. I think that is when deflation happens and when that happens, I think it can be really confusing. And again, I see this a lot with friendships because there’s not the same. I’m gonna say it this way. , There is an opportunity for that there to not have the same emotional charge. Sometimes there is, especially if you’ve had a friend for a long, long time. But most people have been taught that relationships end because of a conflict, like somebody did something wrong or there was a line that was crossed or something really dramatic happened. But I think deflation happens. When your nervous system is just so tired of not being met, that it just disengages and loses interest, and then the person starts thinking like, why am I even here? It’s not anger or contempt or any of those things. I think it’s a level of clarity. It’s really a realization, right, that this person is seeking. Connection without meeting

In this first podcast of the new year, Betsy discusses her strategy of scripting in journals to envision a hopeful and expansive future. She details how this practice helps condition the unconscious mind to focus on desired outcomes. Betsy reminds us to start the day with positive actions while minimizing distractions so we can plan for a successful day. Be sure to follow The Art of Living Big on YouTube as well as your favorite podcast app. Let’s go LIVE BIG in 2026! Transcript  Hello. Welcome to The Art of Living Big. All right, so I’ve tried this before in the past, but I am really making an effort 2026. I am not only audio recording this, but I’m video recording this too. So if you’re here and you’re on YouTube, hello. If you’re listening and you wanna see it live so you can see what I’m talking about, that’s great too. And you can just go to my YouTube channel. If you can find it on Instagram or on my website, or just search for me, Betsy PA on YouTube. All right, so let’s dive in here. You know, I have been thinking about so many things that I wanna share this year, and I’ve gotten a lot of questions on Instagram recently. And, you know, I did a podcast. Gosh, it was like fall, maybe October, September of last year where I talked about a couple years ago when I had a post go really viral. It got eight or 9 million views. And at the time, that’s how a lot of people found me, which was great. And what I was saying in that video was that I really decided that I wanted to go deeper. I wanted to change how I was doing those videos, and I really wanted to talk. I wanted to. Talk and share . And so that’s what I started doing. But what I didn’t expect was that it would, it would resonate with so many people in a, in a way bigger way than it had the first time. And that actually using my voice on those videos changed a lot of things for me. I mean, it’s opened up a lot of opportunities. But it’s also given me a different sense of confidence, which I find really interesting because I’ve had the podcast for years, but I have had the podcast behind the veil of video. You didn’t have to see me. And you know, I have talked historically on the show about how I didn’t record. Video because so many times when I do these podcasts, they just come from my heart, and so I close my eyes when I talk and I thought, this is gonna be the weirdest video because I’m gonna be just sitting there, but I’m gonna be, have my eyes shut and I, you know, I won’t. It’ll, I’ll just look like a weirdo. And what I decided was that I actually can do it. I can do video with my eyes open and I can think with my eyes open, I can walk and chew gum and think at the same time. So this week I wanted to talk with you about something that I have been working on that is, a practice I would say that I have had for years and years off and on for probably 15 years. And about two years ago I started doing it really religiously, and this year I even got sort of a special way to do it. So historically, how I have always done it is in these little mole skin notebooks. I have a whole bunch of ’em that I get, you know, when I go to events or go to a conference and they give you the notebook and I always write in my iPad. During those conferences, I bring those home and I have all these mole skin notebooks. And what I have used them for is to do something called scripting. Now I’m gonna talk about how I do it specifically, ’cause I think it is a little bit unique, but I have used them for scripting. And the great thing about it to me was that I could script, I could do what I’m gonna explain and then I could just toss these out. Like I didn’t need to keep them. Sometimes I would keep them for a year. Just recently I did a huge. Huge clean out, and I tossed some from 2017, so some really old ones, and it felt good to just purge and get rid of stuff. But the work that was done in them and the momentum that was created by using them. Still exists in the EERs, even if I don’t have the evidence that it was completed. And so I wanted to talk with you about scripting and about my practice for scripting and what that looks like. So. Let’s dive in here. This year, what I have done is I started using my Paper Republic Journal. This is a journal I’ve had for, I don’t know, maybe almost a year. It’s just a leather journal. I love it because it has all these pockets and I could put things in it and,, it lets you, it’s a traveler’s journal, so it has these elastic bands and it kind of lets you add in certain components, different notebooks. I buy. These notebooks on. Etsy, and you can see I have one of ’em here. It’s blue, but they’re just thin little notebooks. And so I can use them for a whole bunch of things. And I have different colors just ’cause it’s fun and I buy a whole section of them. I’ll put it in the show notes in YouTube, but I buy like a 10 of them, a 10 pack at a time. So they have different ones. Some of them have graphs inside, some of them have dots, some of them have lines. So whatever it is that I need. I use those for different things. So the practice that I really wanted to show you was scripting, but while I’ve got my journal out, let me just show you the other. So the other thing that I have here that I use these little notebooks for is my visioning. And this is really in the morning. I really like that first hour when I wake up to not even look at my phone. Like definitely not my email. I don’t wanna look at my text messages. I don’t want anybody to need me. For at least an hour now when my daughter was younger and now I have a cat. So sometimes my time isn’t always my own. But you know, I understand we have things that happen in our life, but right now I am in a really exceptional time in my life where I get to choose. I get to choose everything and it’s glorious. And one of the things I get to choose is what I do in this first hour when I wake up. So when I first wake up, that hour is really sacred to me. I don’t wanna be responding to my team. Sometimes they’ll leave me messages in the evening. I don’t want to be checking email. I don’t want to be responding to clients. I want to be able to fortify myself first and what that means for me. Coffee. What that means for me is coffee first. So I usually will make my coffee. I have an espresso machine and sometimes I make a Americano. Sometimes I make a latte. And then I come in here to my office and I have this little thinking chair and a little, you know, thing here with all my books. I have a little setup with my lamp and all of my pens and all kinds of stuff, right? So I’ve got all these little things to be able to use this hour really successfully. So one of the most important things that I do is inside my Paper Republic Journal. And so how I start off typically is I’ll go to my vision boarding, my visioning, I have a book that I bought. I just got this on Amazon. It’s. A vision board book. It’s got a thousand images and quotes. They have all different ones. There’s just different photos in here now. When I put together my visioning pages, it’s really a book for me to open up and to use my imagination. So these pictures don’t have to be exactly the thing that I want to do. It has to be something that makes me feel something. So sometimes there are photos in here, like there’s one of multicolored yarn. It’s really pretty yarn. Let me just show you so it’s yarn in a pile because I want to be reminded of how good creativity feels to me. I have pictures of women with friends, right? They’re by a pool. Um, it’s all good, just a little quote. And I also have little things that I have thought while I have been looking at these, and I jot those down, like feeling the sun on my body, feeling cool, water on my feet, knowing that I created the life that I want. And so what I do in the morning is I just go through my book, I peruse my book, and. You know, there’s things about my home that I’m gonna buy at the end of this year. There’s things about money and investing. There’s things about friendships, there’s things about, partnership and the people I wanna surround myself with. And so many good things that just make me feel. Really hopeful and alive and appreciative really for what I have. So I usually will go through my visioning book and get in a really good feeling. And then what I do is I open up my planner. Now I have been using, and this year I started last year. I started at towards the end of the year, half of the year. But this year I got the daily planner from Paper Republic. And I love it because it’s just dots on every page. So it’s just these big blank pages. It’s not like a regular agenda. And I use an online calendar anyway, but what I do every day is I open this up and I just start writing as if it’s a day in the future. Now, for my work, typically I run on 90 day sprints, so I have goals. Like I love a good goal, right? But I, an annual goal to me gets totally lost. What’s gonna happen December 31st? I won’t even think about it till the end of September and then, then I’ll be like cramming to try to finish. And so what works really well for me is 90 day sprints. So instead I have an annual goal, but I’ve broken it down into. Into quarters basically. And so right now I’m working this first quarter, which ends on March 31st. And so when I go into to write in my planner, I write is now March 31st, 2026. And I am so excited because when I woke up today, I looked in my email and I found the most incredible invitation to go to. You know, I come up with some crazy stuff, like anything that feels fun in the moment. And that’s the idea, is that I want to be expanding. You know, the other day I wrote about how I got invited to serv

In this episode of ‘The Art of Living Big,’ Betsy helps us focus on the present moments in our lives. She reminds us to emphasize the cozy, reflective moments amidst holiday preparations, to fully “wear our lives” by making conscious choices for ourselves. Betsy clues us into the powerful messages in our dreams; metaphors produced by our unconscious mind that we can learn from. She concludes with a message of hope for the new year and an invitation to embrace our true potential. Transcript:  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, everybody. Welcome. Welcome to the show today. It’s our last show before the holiday, so I hope everybody’s ready. I hope you’re getting some time to decompress. I know the last couple weeks it’s been cold here in Atlanta, like super cold, and I have had. Twinkly lights. I feel like I’ve got my decorations just right. , I haven’t turned on an overhead light in weeks. It feels so nice and cozy. I actually have really been enjoying it, being really chilly out. I don’t know, just I’m in the top floor of my apartment, which I like to call the penthouse and. I can really hear the wind because I’m right , on the corner, but I really love it. The other day , it was like a, it was Saturday, I think. Saturday or Sunday. It was so windy here, so, so, so windy. You could just hear the wind whipping outside. And I was like, this is a perfect conditions for a nap. And yeah, so I just took a nap and I could hear the wind and it was just kind of magical. I grew up in Vermont, you know, I live in Atlanta, but I grew up in Vermont. So anyway, I attribute my love of the cozy to that experience, I guess. . So I’m excited to be here with you today. , Just a reminder, next month we have a fireside chat. It’s January 11th. I’m really gonna try and do these every month, and it’s just a free time for everybody to come together on Zoom, you can sign up by going to my Instagram. The link is gonna be in my bio, but you can also just message me, fire and it will automatically send you the link to get signed up. , We did this in November and it was really so nice to have everybody come together and it was nice to see some of my old clients and favorite people. And we just talked about midlife and some of the challenges. I’ve got some thoughts for this time. Last time was very unscripted, which this time will be two. I mean, I wanna just go with the flow of what everybody needs, but. Wanted to invite you to join us. I know last week, I don’t know, every week probably, I’m talking about that quilted house coat from Cozy Earth and Cozy Earth’s one of our sponsors here on the podcast, but I’m obsessed with my quilted house coat and they’ve sold out. , I’m so sorry if anybody didn’t get theirs, still get it in January. The code live big Betsy. That’ll still get you 20% off like any time of the year. But those are just so great. I’m not surprised it sold out. One of my very best friends was waiting to get one and she was gonna have that be her Christmas gift. And when she went to go buy it, they were completely sold out. I actually looked last night, the night before and they just had extra, extra large. , And if you look at the size and guide, I think they’re pretty. Pretty true to size. So , I was like, get the extra, extra large and then just return it so you get the super discount. But it’s, so good. But I wanna remind you also that they have those cozy lounge socks. Those are great stocking stuffers, so don’t sleep on those. ’cause , I think when I looked at the other night, it was like 30% off on the website and then the live Big Betsy code gets you an additional 20%. So it’s a huge difference. And those stocks are lovely. So. Just wanted to shout out Cozy Earth and remind you guys, I know I’m gonna wear , my bathrobe , to the fireside chat. I have no shame. I love that thing, so I will show up in that. , But I’m really excited to see everybody, so hopefully you’ll be able to make it. All right. So today, okay, so this is kind of a vulnerable thing, but , I, I wanted to share something because I. I talk a lot on the show about unconscious change and how we show up in the world and , a little bit of magic. I think. I love a little bit of magic in the universe and , one of the things that I have done for years is I use a journal on my iPad called Day One. You’ve probably heard me talk about this before, but it is a online journal. It’s an app on my phone and on my iPad. I use it on my iPad. I’ve used it for, I don’t know, probably 12 years, maybe more. And I love this thing because it’s easy. I like, , we continue to do things that are simple, right, and easy. And it gives me a chance in the morning to just sort of like. Data dump, like everything that’s on my mind and whenever I have a dream that was really vivid, I like to write it out with all the detail that I can remember. And I find this really helpful because it helps me remember the dream and I can think about it later and figure out what this means. But also one of the cool things about this journal is it’ll tell me like, this is what you said last year, this is what you said three years ago, 10 years ago. And , sometimes we forget. How much we’ve grown or how much we’ve changed unless it’s right in front of us, , unless it’s like something that we can actually see to compare. And I think we all have this habit, I’m gonna say like a really bad habit where we’re looking forward, right? These are the things I wanna experience. This is what I wanna have in my life. These are the things not working. And so when we’re comparing it to the future, it appears as. Lack, it appears as absence because we’re not where we wanna be, but when we have a chance to reflect and to say, look at where I was and now look where I am. It might be where you are physically, it might be where you live. It might be goals you’ve reached. It might just be, I am shifting and changing and I’m moving forward. And there were years where I would look back at a year ago, two years ago, and I would say to myself, oh my God, , I’m talking about the same exact things. Like I feel like I haven’t changed or grown at all. Like when am I gonna get. Unstuck. But the truth now that I can see when there’s been a little bit more space, and I can look back, I can see that this is actually like turtle, right? Like a turtle. Like little tiny shifts moving me in the direction that I want. And that’s really, really important. So what I wanna do is I wanna talk about a dream that I had last year. So it was right around this time last year and I was on that day that I was taking that little nap. It was so windy, windy out, and I opened my journal and I wrote it in my journal, and then I was like, I’m gonna take a little nap. But in my journal, I looked back and then sometimes I’ll look back at the year before or two years before, but then I’ll look at days surrounding it, you know? I’m like, what was going on? Just so I can remember. And. I had a dream last year and I wanna tell you about this dream. And it’s not because I think dreams are, , mystical or predictive in some like woo woo way, but it’s because I have learned both personally and professionally that when something inside you knows the truth before you are ready to face it. It often speaks to us through our unconscious, and our unconscious speaks to us in metaphor. And so this dream actually happened in one of the final months that I was still living in the same house as my now former husband. And the timing of that really matters because emotionally, , the relationship was over. We were trying to sell the house. It took quite a while, and so we were living in close proximity, but. The relationship was over. My nervous system knew it , just that my body was still there. And when you live like that for too long, right? When your inner world and your outer life are out of sync, something starts trying to get your attention. And so in this dream, I was at the airport. Now I wanna share this dream because, and I’m gonna relate it back , to you and why this. Could be helpful. Okay, so I’m at the airport. It’s not a normal airport though. It’s , packed, like wall to wall to wall people. So as far as you could see, like a sea of people. And , you’re in a crowd, so there’s just, you’re not really walking regular. You’re like shuffling. You know that feeling. So I get this feeling that everyone’s moving really fast. Like everybody is going someplace. They know where they’re going and they’re all. Moving and bumping into me. So I’m like, goochie, goochie, goochie. And they’re bumping into me and I feel like I am not able to actually take a step forward. And , airports are in between places, right? You’re not where you were and you’re not yet where you’re going. You’re in this like in-between place. And that is exactly where I was in my life at that time. So. In this dream. I was traveling with him, but I wasn’t walking beside him. I was following him. So he was like way ahead of me, completely unaware that I was even there just doing his thing, right? He just kept moving forward and I was getting pushed around, like losing my footing, trying to keep up, and in my dream he never turned around and that’s the image that I remember. I remember feeling like I was. Almost a kid getting lost in the shuffle, ? And I, think that experience of my life at that time is reflected in that dream, because that’s where their relation

In this episode of ‘The Art of Living Big,’ host Betsy Pake discusses her journey of creating new traditions after a significant life change. She shares her experience of making intentional choices and emphasizes the importance of self-trust and honesty, encouraging listeners to honor their true desires. She also highlights the role of community and the value of supportive relationships. The episode concludes with reflections on the past year and the anticipation of new beginnings. Transcript  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi everyone. Welcome to the show today.. I have something to talk to you today about, but , I wanna start by telling you about my Christmas tree. I, , it’s the holiday time. And if you’re new here, I have been living in an apartment this, whole year. I sold my house towards the end of last year. , , Got divorced, moved into this apartment. And in April I got a kitty. Okay, so these are important aspects to my thought process for the holidays this year, one of the things that I’ve really tried to do is just to create new traditions, , or new rituals in the morning. How I do things. I wanted it to be different. Like I didn’t wanna be rerunning old patterns. I really wanted to create something new for myself. And so. I have been really intentional about that over the year and as we get closer to the holidays, I was really thinking , do I wanna bring in the energy of all the old decorations? , There’s some things that I do wanna pull out like my daughter’s stalking and that kind of thing, but for the most part, I didn’t really feel aligned with it anymore. It’s like that person that owned all those things is so unfamiliar to me that I didn’t wanna bring the energy of it in. And because I got this cat, in Dean Martin I got in April, he’s a sweet, sweet kitty. I think he’s so close to cuddling with me. Honestly, he’s, he’s gonna cuddle any day, but it took a long time for him to warm up. I mean, it took him like four months before he even pured. Literally. I think he’d had like a hard life on the streets, you know? So when he got in my house, I basically kidnapped him and , I got him from the pound, but brought him home. He didn’t have any choice. And then he was like, what woman? You are crazy. So here we are. It’s Christmas time and I’m like, if I get a Christmas tree, , he’s gonna, it’s, he’s, it’s gonna be diabolical. He’s never gonna be able to handle it. And so I was thinking like, do I get like a Christmas tree? . , One of those pre-lit trees, like a big tree. Do I just get maybe a little tree? Do I get like just a tree that’s in a little fake tree that’s in like a pot? Do you know what I mean? I’m like, I could, I, went to a million different stores. I’m like looking at everything. I’m like, what am I gonna get? Because I think he’s gonna be just a nut job. So I finally went to Lowe’s last weekend and they had these two. Trees that kind of went together. One’s like maybe four feet, and the other one’s like maybe three feet. So they are supposed to sit next to each other. They’re connected. Their, light system is connected, or I would love to put them in separate spots, but they’re connected together. And it’s like a cone that has this holographic ribbon that sort of wraps around the cone and a star on top. And the lights are little, they’re not like little Christmas tree lights. It’s like a, I wanna say like a techno light. It’s like a strip. Do you know what I mean? Inside the thing. So it does all kinds of different things. It flashes, it dances, it twirls around. It does a million things. And so I thought. This will be really good because I don’t think Kitty will mess with it, and so anyway, I brought it home. It looks really pretty. Maybe you’ve seen it on Instagram. I’ve shared it in my stories, but I was correct. He is not messing with it, which is great. And it looks really pretty and the lights bring me a lot of joy. So. You know, we can create new experiences for ourselves that can be really good. I talk to women every day that are , trying to make these big decisions in their lives and in their marriage and what to do, and I think there is so much fear in the unknown that I wanted to kind of share that little piece of what’s going on here. Because what if it’s great? , What if it. All works out better than you thought. And we have so much power in our imagination, but so many times we use our imagination to go down the rabbit hole of all the things that could be wrong. And what if we harness that for , , what could happen if it could be great. And , this year I have thought, and I think I mentioned this last week, I’ve thought about doing a podcast just on my year. ’cause I think there have been so many lessons in it . , That everybody could benefit from, right? I mean, so many lessons, and you probably have a lot of lessons in your life too, that people could benefit from if you shared those. And so I have thought about that. ,, I might do it, but this year has been the most wild ups and downs and twists and turns. The way that it’s landing is just like the most beautiful place. Like I’m so happy with the way this year has turned out for me, , and next year already. Really amazing things to look forward to. I went to an event last month with my coach and the coaching group that I’m part of, and there was a new woman in the group who I just hit it off with. She was so fun and so cool, and she lives in New York City. I’ll have to have her on the show sometime. But anyway, the women in this group that I’m in, we all tend to form such tight friendships and we have stayed in the group. ,, This particular woman is new, but the other women. . We stay. And so we’ve been together for many years. And so I went for this walk with this new friend. We were there at the resort and we decided to go get coffee and we were gonna go for a walk. And we were just talking and I was talking about my year and some of the things that have happened and how great it’s been. And I said, , the only thing that I really miss. About having a partner because I really like being single., I’m in a really good place of just doing things on my own and discovering myself, and there’s no space right now for anybody else, , to be honest. But the one thing that I miss is, sometimes it is nice to have a built-in person to go. Travel with, right? Like to be able to go on a trip and to go with, and I have done many trips this year. I’ve gone by myself, I’ve gone with this group to several places, and it’s been great. And I love that. And there’s other places that I wanna go. And so she said, well, where would you go? And I said, well, I really wanna go to, to Morocco. I have a, a friend that I met online, and she and I message back and forth. She’s divorced as well. And you know how you just find somebody and you start talking? She’s a, a, famous author and we just have hit it off. So I’m like, I really wanna go see her. She lives in Marrakesh. And she was like, let’s go. So I was like, okay, we were on the walk, we booked the trip on the walk, opened up our apps. I, I am a big points girl, so I did it with points. I share that just because that is a privilege to be able to open up an app on a phone, on the, on a walk on and book a trip to Morocco. It was, , cost me $11 fees. Um, but I was able to, book my trip and to go to Morocco. So this spring we’re going to Morocco and it just goes to show you that for when you get in a place where it’s really clear what it is you like and what you don’t like, and you’re able to voice it, and you’re around people who are like extraordinary people, right? You’re building your life around people who. Like similar things and are adventurous and able to take those kinds of risks, , it, it can change everything. I think our community is so, so important, and I always say this inside the, women Inside the Navigate method, you know, , once you come into the Navigate Method, you’re sort of like in forever. I joke, that they can never get rid of us, , unless they want to. But you know, after you go through the program, you stay in our alumni group and we meet every month so people can see each other every month and form those relationships. Um, and if you wanna keep going with me, there’s an opportunity to do that in another way. . So building community I think is so incredibly important, and especially when we’re going through big things or hard things, and to be able to say like this is to have somebody witness your life, right? To be able to have somebody witness. Things that you’re going through. It doesn’t always have to be a partner or a spouse. And many times we have partners or spouses and they’re still not witnessing your life. Right. It’s just a, a placeholder. And so I have found that there is just such a, a, need for this and a way to do it. I think women are coming together in community in totally new ways. Which, leads me to remind you that next month in January we’re doing the fireside chat. If you go onto Instagram and you just message me fire, it’ll automatically send you the link or the, link is in my bio. , Every month we’re just getting together, , on Zoom and you can turn your camera on or leave it off, whatever’s comfortable to you. And I’ve got questions that I ask and we just kind of reflect and get together for this. I call it the middle verse, right? This is where we are in the middle verse. And so I think creating t

In this episode Betsy talks a bit about midlife and 3 things women who are ready to make their mark in midlife typically do. Transcript: 410 reinvention in midlife Speaker: [00:00:00] Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi, welcome to The Art of Living Big. Hi, everybody. I have, I have a couple things to share with you as we get kicked off today, and I wanna do this episode really about being in the middle, the middle midlife, and being in the middle of all the things, the middle verse as I like to call it. And. You know, I, and, and before I continue, I also wanna just remind you, we are doing another fireside chat. If you go to my Instagram in the bio, so if you go to my Instagram [00:01:00] page and you click on the links, there’s a link to the next fireside chat, and it is in January. It’s a Sunday night, I think it’s the ninth, if I remember right. And we really just get together and talk about things that are coming up in midlife. So I have some. Thoughts to share this time. Last time it was just really lovely and I think there was like, I don’t know, 40 people or something there. So, so put it on your calendar. Go check that out. Um, come and join us and today we’re gonna talk a little bit about midlife and all the things. And I’ll tell you, I have the most midlife story ever. So I got this idea. I have been really actively working on all the little things that bring me joy. I have the belief, and you probably have this belief too, that hard things happen and the things that make hard things easier is having a lot of little micro happiness, right? [00:02:00] Little things that can support you through the hard times. This year has been like one of the strangest years. I need to do a podcast on this year, like, like an incredible, incredible transformational year for me, and I can feel myself like. It’s like I’ve gone through the portal, like I can feel myself like just being ejected from the portal. I know this summer I kept saying I’m in the birth canal, like I feel like I’m in the birth canal and I am definitely out now, but the most midlife thing to ever happen to anybody ever on the planet ever happened to me. So I have this idea. About these little things that bring me joy, and one of the things that I really like is I like to color on my iPad. Okay? I like to listen to audio books, right? I want somebody to read me a story. I like to do puzzles. Okay? I haven’t done a puzzle in forever, and I really like doing puzzles. I like [00:03:00] doing like, like those small focused things while I’m listening to music or while I’m listening to. Uh, like I have a YouTube channel that I love that is like my comfort show and. I also like to do it when I listen to audio books, right? So, or podcasts, you know what I’m saying? So something. And so I decided I was gonna get a puzzle and I was really excited about it. I went to the store and I was like looking at all the puzzles and trying to figure out one that would be hard enough, but not too hard, and. Anyway, I found one, it’s like these stickers you would put on a suitcase, right? So it’s all like these travel stickers. So I was like, that’ll be fun. It’s cute, it’ll be easy enough because there’s so much uniqueness to it, right? So each of the pieces will be unique. So. I get it home. I mean, I have it all like laid out. I’m sorting the pieces. I’m like, I am like a professional [00:04:00] puzzler at this point. And so I get to work. I got an I or I got a, an audio book going like, I mean, I’m feeling good about this, right? A, a couple hours go by, I’m standing up because I’m like leaning over the table and organizing it all, and I got the whole like outline together and I’m starting to get like the second and third row of the puzzles and then I’m like, man, I’m getting tired. Like I’ve been doing this puzzle for like three hours and then I go to stand up and I realize that I have been leaning over, sort of like if you were brushing your teeth for three hours. And this midlife back was very unhappy. It was just tired. Do you know what I mean? I, there’s nothing bad that happened, but it was so tired that it was starting to spasm on one side of my back. I mean, I was like, are you joking? I don’t know if you’ve been here for a long time. You might remember I had that back spasm when I was in Iceland like four years [00:05:00] ago. It was that same spot, right? So I just about died, but the thing that I learned from Iceland was not to put ice on it. I needed heat. So I laid on a heating pad and I made it through, and I’m feeling better, much better today. You know, it took a couple days, but I was like, is this not the most midlife thing to ever happen? That I have a puzzle injury, like I puzzled too close to the sun and I had a puzzle injury. With that. I wanna talk this week about being in midlife, but also this reinvention and why this time of our lives. I really believe with the wisdom that we have and. The life lessons that we’ve learned and the experiences and the things that we’ve gone through. We are actually in one of the best possible places ever to have a real invention, reinvention that [00:06:00] creates like amazing change and an arrival of something really new for us. You know? So let’s dive in here. You know, I think. As I was thinking about this, I was like, you know, I, I think when I think about midlife, you know what I think about, I think about. The guy with the sports car, right? Isn’t that what we kind of always think about? At least when I was younger, that’s what I thought about. Like the guy that got a younger girlfriend and had a red sports car. And I also think there is something that we are meant to believe about women in midlife. Which is that we’re going through all these crazy hormonal changes and everything is different and it’s something that you actually have to survive, like something that you have to really get through or endure. And I also think until recently it was something you were supposed to endure like silently. You [00:07:00] weren’t supposed to talk about anything actually happening biologically in midlife. That was sort of taboo until recently. I think even like the last five years, maybe 10 years, but like five years probably. But I am wondering, and these, this is the thing that I always talk to the ladies inside the Navigate Method about is that what if midlife is actually the most incredible, powerful portal that you will ever step into? N not because it’s easy, magical, like birth canal, but because things get stripped away and now you get to tell the truth. And I think every woman that I work with reaches this moment where the performance of life and being a woman, the performance of being a [00:08:00] woman, right? Like I. Of how you’re supposed to be a woman. Let’s say it that way. That performance stops, right? You stop performing stability, you stop performing the roles that you had to, and your roles change. Like maybe you had kids and now your kids are moved out, like you, you, you know what I mean? All these different things happen. You stop pretending. That everything in your marriage is fine or that you can just sweep stuff under the rug that it’s it like it’s fine. Like that. You can stop pretending that the life that you built, even if you put a lot of effort into building it, you get to stop pretending that it still fits. And I think this is a huge breakthrough because we are refusing to whisper. Because we are refusing to stay the same, and we are in a [00:09:00] world that really wants us to stay the same. It wants us to still look 20. It wants us to still have the body that we had in our twenties. It wants us to still be performing all the things and all the tasks and have the energy and all these things, but that’s just not our lives anymore. And I think that, you know. Men in a lot of ways are allowed to age. We say even when men get gray, it’s distinguished. I, I can’t, I, I feel rage. I feel rage even now as I say that. It’s distinguished, but women are supposed to. Sit and put chemicals on your hair, and if you want to do that, I salute you. Do it like I love it. I’m thinking about getting some Botox because I want to, but probably because I’ve been told that I need to do, you know what I mean? Like probably my eyelids are heavy, so I have this idea that I could get some Botox and lift my eyelid a little bit so that I wouldn’t have to get surgery on my eyelids, which a side note I think will probably be a medical [00:10:00] procedure at some point soon. But the point is. That there is a difference between what we do and what we are supposed to do and what men do and what men are supposed to do. Men are supposed to just age and women, we have to evolve in a totally different way, and I feel that too. I haven’t colored my hair in years, but I still look in the mirror sometime and like should I, would I look better? How do I define better? I’m not sure, but I think it has to do with being younger. I think it has to do with looking youthful. And of course I want those things, but why do I, and so I think that this, that midlife starts to feel like a collapse, right? There’s this point where all of your old coping strategies sort of lose their oomph. [00:11:00] So I think that this, this point of midlife is a reinvention, but it’s not a reinvention of starting over. I think it’s a reinvention about becoming the version of you that is renewed, right? It’s about remembering someone old, the version o

This week, Betsy highlights the importance of women giving themselves permission to make choices that bring joy. We often pour so much into creating memorable experiences for our loved ones, especially during the holidays, but it’s essential to remember that our own moments are just as special. Happy Thanksgiving everyone! We are so thankful you are here. Transcript  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi everyone. Welcome. Welcome to The Art of Living Big this week. It’s a holiday week, so a little shorter episode, but I wanted to share a thought, and it’s actually something that I shared last year in a reel on Instagram. In fact, I may share it. I may re repost it this year because it resonated with so many people and I think it’s. Such a good message. So here’s the message. , I realized when my daughter was young and she’s about to be 24, but when she was young, , like a little kid, like a toddler, I started to realize how many things that I always just took as like the magic of Christmas where actually my mom doing all this work, right? Like . The cupcakes and champagne that go out for Santa every year. , , when my daughter, it was time for her to do well. We didn’t do cookies and milk. I did cookies and milk when I was little, but when my daughter, well, Santa changed his preferences by the time I had a kid. And cupcakes and champagne is what we left out. , But I had to make the cupcake. Right. It didn’t just like magically happen. We used to leave out reindeer food and I remember as a little kid leaving out reindeer food, well, that actually has to be created reindeer food. And then the whole magic of it has to be implemented and was implemented by my mom. I remember being a little kid and my parents would have the elves do something crazy in the house like. We had a little craft table, and I remember one year the chairs were upside down on the table and my socks were over the legs. I remember thinking that was so crazy and evidence that elves had actually been there and done something so silly. And I remember when my daughter was little thinking about that and going, oh my God. All that magic. All that magic was my mom. Filling the stockings, figuring out what to put in ’em, putting out the little reindeer, all the little things. And , as we head into Thanksgiving here in the US I, I wanna just offer this thought. And it is the idea that as women who do so much, we. Matter too. Our experience matters too. And if you’re putting together a big dinner, if you’ve got people coming over, if you’re doing something special where you are entertaining, I want you to also think about yourself in that. And one of the things I realized a couple years ago was that I was getting everybody’s order for. Pie right after Thanksgiving. What does everybody want? And everybody that I was asking wanted pumpkin pie. I, I don’t dislike pumpkin pie, but I really love cherry pie. Like I really love cherry pie and I don’t have cherry pie very often. I don’t know why we don’t have pie as much as we have cake because pie is superior. I love pie season. So here we are in pie season. I’m asking everybody what do you want? Everyone’s saying, pumpkin, and I’m feeling this tiny kernel of disappointment because I can’t have my cherry pie. Now you may already be thinking in your head like, yeah, you can. But when you’re in that moment, you’re like, I don’t wanna get a whole pie just for one piece, just for me. And if you’re like me, I also think, , I don’t wanna get the whole pie and end up eating the, whole pie all by myself. ’cause that’s likely to happen too. But I remember last year , when I did this reel on Instagram, my message was Get the pie. Get the pie. I remember leaning over at Kroger and looking down and seeing the pumpkin pie and seeing the cherry pie and feeling that paying of guilt. Where did that come from? Like we get to have a holiday too. It doesn’t have to all be just about creating magic for other people and , I think that if you want the cherry pie, get the cherry pie is a great metaphor for other things in our lives too. So if you want something, just because everybody else doesn’t want it or doesn’t want it for you, doesn’t mean it’s not for you. And so I wanna offer you that little nugget, , as we move forward. And I will say this too, and this is so silly that I’m even saying this out loud, but you know, one of our sponsors here on the podcast is Cozy Earth, and I get asked all the time to do sponsorships, and I never want to, because very few people that reach out to me, it’s already something that I love , and so. When I tell you about Cozy Earth, I really mean it. But one of the things, if you have been seeing my stuff on Instagram, and here’s what I mean, this goes with the Cherry Pie theme. So many times I post my quilted house coat that I got on Cozy Earth. It’s, one of my favorite things in the whole world. I know that sounds so insane that a house coat would be, but I put it in the dryer. It’s a, like a comforter, you guys, it’s, a comforter. If you took a comforter and then you cut out a bathrobe shape and sewed it together, that is what this is. And I put it in the dryer at night. And then when I. Get outta the tub, or if I take a shower at night or whatever, I put that on and it’s, magical and it brings me joy. So much joy. That and their cozy socks, and I love their sheets. I mean, all this stuff, there’s nothing, you can’t go wrong with any of it. But this bathrobe, I’m telling you, I’m obsessed. So on the website, it’s called the Quilted House coat, but I have so many people that reach out because I post this. House code all the time because I really love it. And , right now through the middle of December, they have 20% off that you can get on their website. But you can stack the coupons. So you can use the R code here for the R of Living Big, it’s just, it’s a live big Betsy. You can use that code and stack it so it’s, you get 40% off. I’m actually thinking about getting a second one ’cause I love it so much, but then I’m like, why would I need in case one’s in the wash, I guess. I just love it. So I always am like jumping on Marco Polo with my girlfriends and they’re like, oh my God, that freaking bathrobe is like, it’s six 15 at night. Why do you have that bathrobe on? And I say, do not judge me. It is my cherry pie. I want to wear it all the time, and so I shall. So if you’ve seen that. , Cozy Earth has a really fabulous return policy. They’re amazing. The stuff is amazing. Get yourself what you want for the holiday and get the quilted bathrobe, but I really do want you to get it, but I want you to tag me when you get it. ’cause I really wanna see, I’m so excited for all my friends that bought it for themselves to put under the tree. So. , Whether it’s cherry pie or the quilted bathrobe or a walk in the afternoon where somebody else cleans up the dishes. , Give yourself what it is that you need. We are so sold, this idea that we are supposed to be second or third or fourth or fifth or put everybody, it’s it, a virtue to put everyone else first to be selfless. And I think there has to be balance. I think you cannot give of yourself if you’re totally depleted and even though you’re a mom, even though you’re a wife, even though you’re a working woman, even though you exist as a female in this world, it doesn’t mean that you don’t get to have the things that bring you joy. I think these little joys that we get to have. These are the things that make the big things, the big, hard things manageable. I think it’s the thing that makes grief doable. I think it’s the thing that makes struggles at work . Tolerable is by finding the little things that we can notice and give ourselves and be part of that are. Tiny joys., I, on my Instagram stories every morning I always post good things. And I asked this past week, I said, I feel like this is different from gratitude, right? My list of good things. And I asked people, is it gratitude or is it a little bit different? And , it was pretty 50 50 of what people thought, but I have been thinking about it ’cause I love words and I love nuance of things. And I think it’s appreciation. I think it’s not gratitude as much as appreciation, and that feels like a higher vibration to me. Right? Appreciation. And so when I think about getting the cherry pie or getting the quilted house code or whatever it is, I, think about this idea that I get to appreciate these things in my life and I’m allowed to choose them for myself. I’m allowed. To create the experiences for myself that bring me joy. It’s wonderful when somebody else does that for you too. And you don’t have to wait. You can create it for yourself. So get your cherry pie if that’s what you like, or whatever you like. Get the thing you like. And if you get the house coat tag me. , We’re gonna do a fireside chat. In January, so there’s already one scheduled, so make sure to look. The link is in my bio, , my Instagram bio. If you go there, it’ll show you the fireside chat. But I, I want, everybody to wear their quilted house coat. Oh my gosh. Maybe we could make that a fun thing. I’ll wear mine. It’s, so good. And then we could really be cozy and chat by the fire that doesn’t exist. But I put a candle out last time I put a candle out, and that made me feel like we were, , achieving the goal. So I hope that if you’re listening, you’re having a really good Thanksgiving.

This episode aims to inspire listeners to live authentically and joyfully, just like we did before the world shaped our identities. Betsy shares insight on honoring the impulses we feel, like we did when we were kids, but this time with the intention of discovering ourselves again. So grab a wooden spoon and sing… after you listen:) Transcript  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hello everyone. Hi. Welcome to The Art of Living Big. This week, hopefully I will be in Florida meeting with my coach and the mastermind team that I’m part of. I with the airline flights, I’m getting a little concerned. I’m getting a little concerned, but I’m really hopeful. So I’m recording this podcast early so that you still get one, even though I’m gone and we’re just gonna keep our fingers crossed that I actually am gone. Although I think my kitty will be happy if it doesn’t work out. My kid will be happy. . My adult daughter will be happy if I’m. Still around, but I’m really hoping that I’ll be able to go. So I wanted to record this and , this episode is something that has been on my mind, like sort of in the back of my mind as the years gone by. And then, , the other day we did. The fireside chat, which was just an open invitation for people to come and get together in community and just talk about some of the challenges and commonalities that happen in midlife. Right. And I think more and more I’m recognizing how important my village is, and as I have started to create my own village over the past year, really focusing on that. I can see how helpful it is. So I wanted to create that for people that maybe don’t have it, and then also for people who just wanted more of it. So we’ve been doing these, what I say we’ve been doing, we did ’em once. We’re gonna keep doing these fireside chats. And so, , in that, one of the things that kept coming up was that this idea that in midlife what’s really happening is an uncovering. What’s really happening is you’re getting back to who you were before, , before the world told you had to be a certain way. And gosh, this is something I feel like has been, like I said in the back of my mind and something I have been thinking about of what really makes me happy. And I did a whole episode on that, on joy and the things that I’m finding that bring me joy. But what really makes me happy and. What are the things that make me uniquely me? And I think there’s a component of this that can be really hard to dissect because so much of who we are is what we were told we were right when we’re young or when we formed relationships that we have now that are significant and whatever role that we’re playing in that begins to define how we are. It may not be what we would choose if we could wipe the slate clean and say, this is who I am, this is how I wanna show up. And the thing is, once you’ve started down a path of showing up a certain way, it’s really hard to change course. Not only because. It feels unsafe internally. Our nervous systems, they don’t do that. But also because other people around us start to react differently to that. And that’s, , one of the challenges and positive things that can happen. And one of the things we talk about inside the Navigate Method, when you show up different, your partners going to have to show up different. Right. Or you’ll just recognize you’re just. You’re not interested anymore. Right? So there, there is this shift that happens organically, I think, when we hit midlife, but also when we really wanna start looking at this and discovering this. So what I wanna talk about today is really who you were before the whole world told you who you needed to be. And I think this is something that. Impacts all of us in different ways at different times of our lives, right? And it is a question that shows up, , in, midlife when you have a breakdown or when something really big happens in your life or it just in those moments. I know there are times where I’ve got my coffee and I’m just thinking, , on the thinking couch in my thinking chair. And I think , what is. The version of me who is really, really joyful. There’s this, idea that I have that, and maybe you have this too, that our soul, right? So I’m thinking like my soul is inside me, but it’s, that is the essence of me. I think that I’ve had this soul for a lot of different lifetimes, and so the. Packaging shows up this time as Betsy and Betsy’s choosing to live her life in the way that she is. And in another life I was somebody else and in a different life I was somebody else. Like I, the outside could change, the packaging could change, the circumstances might change to give me an opportunity to experience lots of different things. But there is this soul. Peace of me and I really feel like I can, I get to her and I say her, but I don’t even feel like it’s a gender. I know this sounds kinda strange. I can feel this soul part of me. And sometimes when things are really bad, I check in with my soul and my soul loves it. I know. Is that so weird? When things are bad and I check in? My soul is really happy because my soul came here to have experiences. It didn’t come here to just have positive experiences, and I don’t know if that’s my delusional way of dealing with hard things, but it really does help me deal with hard things. But I think there’s, I believe there, it feels like truth, even when I say that it feels like truth. And so. When I think about who I was before the world told me who I needed to be, there is this soul piece of me that has been a lot of different things and a lot of different versions. And so who I was perhaps is a piece of this, of something that I get to choose and if I haven’t chosen, which so often we haven’t, and in most ways I haven’t. Then maybe there’s something to look at, right? And so I think we start to look at this when we have a big transition. We get married, we get divorced, we have kids, even we start a new job, right? All of those things, we have a breakdown. Or when we’re just sitting thinking like, what happened to me? You know, there’s that Oprah book. , And I read it years ago, but I think it’s called What, Happened to You? And it’s the idea that. Everyone is acting or reacting out of a place of what they know and what has been handed to them in many cases. And that instead of saying like, why are you so frustrating or whatever, it’s like, what happened to you to make you that way? Right? And I think about that in terms of myself, like what happened that made me. The way that I am, that made, that gave this packaging right, this shell, this exterior, when I can touch my soul and I know that my soul is just skipping along, real oblivious to the danger, but. It also gives me a lot of, a peace, you know, and I think that there have been a lot of roles and expectations. I think about, gosh, I think about some things that I’ve done. , Even when I was dating my, , former boyfriends or my former husband, , and. Like the things that I did, were in an effort to be a good girlfriend, right? In an effort to be a good friend in an effort. And that’s not necessarily bad, but does it align with who I really am or is it some rule that we were following to just make you more lovable or valuable? And who were you before all of that rules came into place? And so here’s what I think. I think that most of our lives were built around who we think we’re supposed to be, but not who we actually are. So I go all the way back to when I’m little, when I think about this, and , when we’re little, we’re wide open, we laugh at everything. We cry when we need to. I mean, I saw a kid on the floor of the grocery store the other day, like having a tantrum. And I’m like, , that’s how I feel too when my ice cream is out. Like it, we. We, go with the flow of whatever is the experience and emotion, and we’re curious, right? We follow curiosity. We ask a lot of questions, and then we learn and we learn at some point that being loud gets you in trouble. That making a mistake gets you a big red check mark on your page. You know that you crying or being emotional can make people really uncomfortable. I remember crying when my mom died and everybody comes to your house, you know, after somebody dies, like everybody just comes. So, I mean, this was within hours and there was an adult , that I love. I loved then, and I still love now, but an adult man who said, don’t cry, stop crying. I was like, I remember even at the time being like, if any time seems appropriate, it’s this , but it makes people uncomfortable, right? He, loved me and so he was uncomfortable with me being in pain. It takes a lot to be okay with witnessing someone’s pain, , and we become the achiever and the peacemaker, right? We hold back our pain just to make people feel better. Then we become caretakers and, little by little, I think we start to trade our, truth for belonging, for being chosen, right? Not because we’re weak, but because we are really smart. And because fitting in and being chosen meant survival. But the problem is, especially now, it’s 2025, , we wake up and we have a life that might look good on paper, but it feels like somebody else’s story. And we start to wonder, look what happened. Like, who am I? Where did I go? What do I even like? I can’t even tell you how many times people are like, I don’t even know what I like. That I think is the moment. It’s the moment where we begin to remember, , I think that there is a

In this episode, Betsy hosts a Q&A session based on questions from her Instagram followers. She addresses topics like divorce’s impact on children, rebuilding a sense of thriving within a marriage, transitioning identity in midlife, and the importance of a flexible morning routine. Many of these questions are most likely ones that you have asked yourself, so tune in and prioritize your personal alignment so you can live your best life. Transcript  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi everybody. Welcome. Welcome to The Art of Living Big. I’m happy you’re here. Today we’re going to do a q and a. You know, maybe a week or so ago I asked, I put a little thing on my Instagram stories, asking if people had questions, and I got a couple, but I get questions quite often, so I’ve just been screenshotting those. And I thought today we could dive in to that. If you missed our fireside chat on this past Sunday night. It was so, fun. We had a big group there and we just talked about all the things. Midlife, it was really great. We didn’t record of course, because , things come up that we don’t want to have recorded and shared with people who weren’t there. But we’re gonna be doing it again. I’m not totally sure if I’m gonna do one in December. I’m traveling and I’ve got some things going on, and so it may be easier to start after the new year and that might also be like a fresh start to get going on those. But I really would like to do them every month. So if you didn’t make it to this one, come to the next one. And if you did come to the last one, I’d love to see you at the future ones too. I really feel like. We are beginning to build community there, and who knows what that will lead to. I always think like live events, it’s gonna, we’re all gonna get together. I’m gonna get to hug you, so be sure to be on my email list or be checking on Instagram and I’ll be sure to post when we have the date for that one. And that way you can sign up and you’ll get a reminder and all that good stuff and the zoom link and all that. So that was great. I am heading outta town this weekend. I’m going down to Florida for, , my group with the people , that I am a coachee of. So I’m meeting up with all these people. You’ve probably heard me talk about that before if you’ve been here for a while, but I have been in this coaching. , Since 2018. So a really long time, and really steadily over the past two years. So we get together about three times a year live, and then we meet every week. So it’s so fun ’cause you form relationships with people. Online, and then you get to see ’em in real life, which is just really, really such a treat. So it’s right before Thanksgiving, but I am so excited about the holidays. This, season. , There’s nothing that could throw me off at this point. , I’m just so excited to be able to plan things and figure out what feels the best to me. Get the things I wanna get to eat and visit with the people I wanna visit with. It’s just gonna be really, really great. So I’m excited to kinda have that event to like kick off my holiday season. So I’m not sure if you’ve got something coming up where you’re gonna kick off your holiday season, but , I am really looking forward to that and I’m gonna miss my kitty. We’re gonna do it. I tell ’em I’m only gone a few times a year, , and then next year I’m planning already, , so I’m excited for that. I’ve got some big trips planned for next year and some really fun things coming. And so, yeah, there’s just a lot to look forward to. So let’s dive in today. I’ve got some questions and we’ll kind of go through, , some of these have thought through and, to be honest, some of them I haven’t, which it, kind of leads to. I think a good outcome. So we don’t always have to have everything totally planned. , And , with this podcast I tend to get an idea and then just kind of talk. So let me grab the first question that I got. Okay. So the first question that I got was, , how much do you consider the effect of divorce on your children when considering your own needs? , This is. Such a universal question and this phrase of question. , And I will say this, if you’re listening and you’re like, I’m not on the verge of getting divorced, it’s okay. I have a wide range of questions here. We, run the gamut. But this one in particular, I think is really important because it is something that I get asked in a number of different ways almost every day. And I think that, , it’s a really, really important question and. I think it’s one of those questions that sort of, the answer for it lives in the space between logic and your brain and your heart, , because as mothers our, nervous systems are really wired to prioritize our, children’s safety and, their happiness really. Right. And sometimes we do that even at the risk of our own. And so when the idea of divorce starts coming up between you and your partner, it’s, rarely just a practical decision, right? It, puts you into a existential crisis as you really think through what’s the right road. And, you know, you’ve probably heard me say before, , with so many things, there’s no right and no wrong. Any road that you take. Is gonna have pluses and minuses. But here’s what I believe. I believe that you don’t stop considering your children when you start considering yourself. Like those two things aren’t opposite. They’re intertwined because what our kids ultimately learn from us isn’t , how well did you sacrifice? It’s really. How, honestly, did you live? They’re watching. They’re watching what we tolerate. Oh my gosh. I’ve had so many conversations like this with my daughter, but they’re watching how, we love how we stay. They’re watching how we leave. , I always say to the women in the Navigate method, if they make the choice to leave, to do it with bravery and integrity. Right. Don’t say you’re gonna do something, don’t agree to something, and then change your mind. Like especially if you’ve, had , somebody asked you a question and then you said yes, or you signed something saying yes, , be in integrity. That’s, something nobody can take from you. Be brave and make the decisions from a place of bravery because kids are learning, , whether peace is something that we’re just performing or that we’re really embodying. Right? And when you live with integrity and bravery, , all of those things matter when you’re looking at this. And , I think that every mother considers their kids. And I know when I went through my divorce, I considered my daughter, but I also had to ask what does she learn If I model a life that looks good, maybe on the outside, but she knows it’s slowly draining me on the inside, right? Because kids don’t need perfection, but , they need honesty. They need to see what repair looks like, what boundaries sound like, what really thriving looks like. And the truth is, sometimes the most loving thing that you can do for your kid is to choose a life that’s really true to you, because that’s how they learn to choose themselves too. So. This is such a hard question, and it’s something everybody has to come to terms with on their own, but I think the real question shouldn’t be like, how much should I consider them? It should be, what am I teaching them through what I’m choosing? And I think when you start to look at it that way, it stops feeling selfish and your decision starts to feel sacred because not all. Pain, and I’ve, said this in a, number of different ways on Instagram and, , in my posts or even in newsletters. But marriage can be an incredibly spiritually uplifting and growing process, but not all pain is holy. If the other person is just allowing you to just fight for your damn life and struggle, and that’s what your children are seeing, then maybe there’s another way to look at this, where you can show them what it looks like to be brave and to be an integrity, and to choose yourself, right, and to choose what’s honest. So I would just offer that as your thought, as your guidepost, as you think through this. All right. My next question that I got is, can you rebuild a sense of thriving when you’re still in the marriage, or do you have to leave to really find that in yourself again? And I think this is such a good question and one that I think. So many people ask like in secret, , I think that there’s a belief that you can only come alive once you’ve really burned it all to the ground and that. To really reclaim a feeling of thriving you, you’ve gotta get out of the situation , that you’re in. And , it doesn’t mean that that’s not it. It may be that’s it, but I think that feeling like you’re thriving or feeling like you’re alive begins way before any of that. I think it starts when you start having. Little moments of being honest with yourself. When you stop saying that you’re fine. When you’re not fine. You know when something happens and you say That doesn’t feel good, even if it doesn’t make sense to you. I had somebody say to me the other day, , if my husband, if I’m washing the dishes and my husband , who hasn’t hardly talked to me in days, sees me. Leaning over the sink and comes over to grind himself into the back of me while I’m trying to clean up after dinner all by myself. , I’m going to lose my mind. Right. And I hear that version. It, comes in different formats, but it’s that same kind of feeling. And I think when , , this person that messag

In this episode of The Art of Living Big, Betsy explores what it really means to upgrade the energetic “software” running your life. Just like your phone or computer needs updates to function smoothly, your inner system … your beliefs, identity, emotional patterns, and energetic boundaries… also needs regular upgrades. Betsy unpacks how outdated energetic programs (like people-pleasing, scarcity, or over-responsibility) quietly run in the background, draining your power and distorting your clarity. She shares how to identify when your system is glitching, those moments of burnout, confusion, or repeating cycles — and how to consciously install a new energetic framework that supports ease, alignment, and expansion. You’ll hear stories from Betsy’s own recent upgrades — the subtle shifts that changed everything in her business, relationships, and daily rhythm — and practical ways to recalibrate your own system. This episode is a guide to clearing energetic clutter, stabilizing your power, and reprogramming yourself for the version of you who lives bigger, freer, and more grounded in truth. Transcript  Welcome to The Art of Living Big, where we explore how to live intentionally and with more joy. I’m Betsy Pake, your host, master, coach, and creator of the Navigate Method. Here to help you listen in to your true desires, elevate your standards, and live life to the fullest. Now, let’s go live big. Hi everybody. Welcome to The Art of Living Big. I’m excited. I’m excited to be here with you today, , and I’m not gonna, I’m not gonna talk about this a long time, and if you’re new here, you’re like, what? We don’t really care about your teeth, but last week I said I was getting these stupid brackets, my Invisalign off, and that did not happen. There’s more to do. So anyway, that’s the update on that. I just, I know this sounds really. Stupid probably, but I felt like guilty. ’cause I told you that. And I know you don’t care. I know you don’t care, but I like to be truthful, so I wanted to let you know that I didn’t get ’em off. So if you see me online and you’re like, she still has those. Brackets on her teeth. She’s still wearing the Invisalign. Ugh, I am. But it’ll be over soon and it’ll be so worth it. So anyway, I’m excited to do today’s episode and as we get started, I just wanna remind you that we’re in November. Do you remember I was telling you and I was telling people on Instagram about Cozy Earth and. Amazing bathrobe that they sent me. And I wanna remind you that it is November. So right now my code live Big Betsy on Cozy Earth gives you 40% off, which is like a special thing. And I think it only goes to the middle of December. But here’s the thing about that is that bathrobe that they sent me is, it’s a puffy I, I turned it into a sticker and I use it on all my Instagram stories. It is the most amazing. Uh, thing ever. I, it’s funny, I was on, , I was on Marco Polo with a girlfriend of mine and I left her this big message and I was getting ready for nighttime, , and recording and she messaged me back. She’s , I just love you’re in that puffy house coat. I know. You’re so happy. ’cause I am so happy. It is like a quilt that they turned into a bathrobe and I think on their website it’s called like the quilted house coat. It is., , Really one of my favorite things. And if you take a bath and you put, if you take a bath and you put it in the dryer and then you put it on after, it’s like the coziest most amazing thing ever. , They sent me that bathrobe and they sent me these cozy socks. , I don’t know, maybe like a month or six weeks ago, they sent, I had, I think I had maybe had talked about it on the podcast when my daughter was in the hospital. To help when she came home is I had her apartment cleaned and I went over with my cozy Earth sheets ’cause they’re so comfy. And I was like, I’m gonna let her use my Cozy Earth sheets. Anyway, they sent me sheets for her, so she has her own Cozy Earth Sheets and when they did that, they sent me this bathrobe and the socks, and I’m telling you. The socks are like, , they say they’re lounge socks. I wear ’em with like my Birkenstocks, , with like clogs. But anyway, make sure you use the code ’cause now you can get 40% off, which makes it like insanely inexpensive and really good gifts. Those cozy socks, lounge socks. I got the three pack with the three like pinky colors and they’re so cozy and comfy. So, anyway, I, wanted to say that as I got started, because. It’s the coupon is now, so you could get it for Christmas. Okay. And if you hear this like in February, you could still use Live Big Betsy, but I think it only gets you like 20% off typically moving forward. So that’s a big deal. All right, so today I wanted to talk about energetic operating systems., I know it’s kind of a random topic, right? But here’s the thing. More and more and more in my life over the last eight weeks, I think I have been really leaning into energy and you know, I talked a few weeks ago about the energetic, the energetics of making a decision, and I have been thinking for myself like, okay, let’s say , that we are an energetic operating system. Right? Let’s, let’s just assume that is true. Then how would we update the software? Like I, I’m like, , how could I get an update? I think we go through times where life is hard, right? And then we grow and that’s an update. But also I would like to, I would like to update without all that, I’d like to skip the hardship and just go right to the growth. I know that’s not how life works, but I think there is a way to. Identify earlier, like when your system is glitching and consciously install a new energetic framework that really supports where it is that you wanna be. And so that is something that I have been working on over the past eight weeks. Life has been kind of hard. And I post about this sometimes on my Instagram stories, but. Every day. I typically post like my good things, a list of good things, and I find this so important for our energetic operating system to reprogram our brains to be looking for good things. But also there are times where I post about something that’s going hard, right? Because life happens. There’s always this stupid growth. So life happens and I do wanna acknowledge that too. And so, , today I posted something, , about life being hard and my daughter’s back in the hospital for the fourth time and like things aren’t simple and there is an energetics around it that I can use to help. So that I don’t do this pattern again, whatever patterns I’m playing in this, right? When something bad happens, whatever it is, take my situation out of it. But whatever it is, we have a pattern, right? We feel like a victim or we get overwhelmed or we shut down or whatever our pattern is, , so today, let’s talk a little bit about. About this upgrading of your energetic operating system. So,, the new iPhone came out and so I noticed that my iPhone is lagging, right. And it’s because well, it’s because Apple is trying to get me to buy a new phone, I’m sure. But it’s because there the software needs to be updated. The new iOS came out. Mine wasn’t working right. I’m like, oh, I need to upgrade my software so that it’s running the same thing that all my apps are running on, and your energetic operating system is made up of beliefs of patterns. Of emotional codes that really determine how you move through the world. It is like an unseen blueprint about what you think is possible, what you think is okay to tolerate , what you magnetize into your life. And most of us were running on a code that was written years ago or decades ago, or when we were little kids. And so let’s just talk here first about this operating system , and how to even know, well, actually, let’s just talk a little bit about the unseen blueprint. And, I kind of touch on this in every episode and I’m sure I’ve done a deep dive about this in one, at one point or another. But if you’re new here, I just wanna give sort of an overview of this. So, , I say this like unseen blueprint, you have this blueprint, the way that you do things. Our unconscious mind, our unconscious minds c create habits, right? That is where our habits are stored. It’s where our micro expressions are stored. It’s where everything, every memory, everything I’ve ever experienced is stored. And in all of that, it creates a blueprint of reality. And that reality is like a set of sunglasses that I put on. And everything that I see in the world is through those sunglasses. So I grew up in Vermont in a little small town. My dad worked outside the home. My mom was a homemaker and was super involved in our lives. I had a sister and my grandmothers were important to our family. Education was huge. My dad worked at the university and that was something that we talked about all the time. So all of those, we had pets and that was important. My dad was active in the community. My whole family was active in the community. That was important. Taking care of each other was important,. It’s so this whole like framework became my glasses that I put on. Now when I look at the world, I see it through that frame, right, of what’s important, how do we take care of each other? How do we show up in relationships? What does life look like as a friend or a sister or a daughter? Like all of those things. That is my sunglasses now. Somebody else could have grown up in the same town with different parents, different experience, maybe. They were with, , parents that were, that worked weird shifts, right? Worked their butts off, but weird shifts. And so family didn’t appear to be, I’m gonna say a priority, but that’s probably a judgment. ,