Advertise on podcast: Virgo – Stoner Astrological Horoscope

Stoner Virgo, have you ever heard the phrase, ‘It was written in the stars’?  Well, I think they meant planets, and boy do you have a book to read this month! One of your largest character traits and strengths will put you at the mercy of planetary alignment in June.  You have a great ability to be stable while also being flexible.  This key characteristic will be tested in June as you can expect to be pushed and pulled in multiple directions by cosmic influence. Your cannabis prescription this month is EVERYTHING!  Fill your stash jars with a plethora of cannabis species and strains.  From high CBD to blended hybrids, and even some pure breads for sure. Believe in yourself stoner Virgo.  Arm yourself with the right cannabis tool for the correct moment.  The shifting landscape of cosmic influence will require an ability to remain stable while bending with flexibility.  But remember my stoner Virgin:  This ability is within you. There will be moments of extreme confidence wrapped in resolve.  Select a hybrid for these extreme moments to soften the edges of cosmic influence. There will be moments of danger within communication conflict.  Sense these moments stoner Virgo.  Select a more contemplative Indica strain to help yourself think before speaking. There will be moments of raw emotion from internalizations.  Find a Sativa dominant hybrid to soften the raw edges of powerful growth and remembrances. I cannot say if this will be a positive or negative month for the stoner Virgo.  I can say that you have everything you need to make it a month of progress and great growth.  Pay attention to your personal environment, and adjust accordingly.

Stoner Virgo, the final Spring month may set up as a battle of ideas.  Perhaps a conflict between natural traits and cosmic influence.  Maybe even a debate between planning and action.  The great news is that there is no better stoner star sign to have a contemplative debate with themselves more so than the stoner Virgo. My sweet Virgin you will feel at home in May.  Inward contemplation assisted by your cannabis copilot will come easy, and provide sparks of inspiration for action.  However, use caution with high minded communications.  These self reflected marijuana musings might not be ready for smoke circle consumption. If simple conversations take a defensive or heated tone, step out to toke time to reflect.  You are highly capable stoner Virgo, but an endless argument leads to a dead end of frustration every time. Thus the debate of the month becomes like that stoney Clash classic, Should I Stay or Should I Go.  Your natural trait, and universal influence, will favor a contemplative stoner Virgo with planning smoke sessions in solitude.  But a brisk cosmic breeze of social energy will tempt the Virgin to the flame of smoke circle dynamics. There will be times to share a joint, and a philosophical exploration.  There will be times to forgo challenging topics with cannabis companions.  And there will be times to jump into the smoke circle, but keep your secrets and plans to yourself. It's all up to you stoner Virgo.  Trust yourself.  Trust the sacred herbal influence.  And trust your connection to the universe. 

What stoner Virgo doesn't like a good puzzle or a complex game?  The April time period will present challenges and obstacles synonymous with these methods and concepts. Buckle up my valiant Virgin.  Before the big match, or when the puzzle lay in pieces, the forthcoming challenge can seem daunting and intimidating.  Trust and Courage will be required to complete the challenge. The month begins without warning of the start time as the New Moon falls on March 31st.  Toke time in the first few days of April to meditate with the sacred herb.  Just you, your favorite piece, and some cosmic cannabis. Focus your medicated meditation on Trust and Courage. Trust yourself stoner Virgo.  You have all the tools required to solve any dilemma that comes your way this month.  Cannabis helps us see ourselves.  Take a mindful note with your third eye gazed within.  You have great strengths and wonderful attributes.  Acknowledge them.  Empower them. The universal puzzle or the cosmic game presented this month are yours, and yours alone.  Steady your nerves throughout the month with high CBD rich cannabis strains.  You have entered a fluid period where options and obstacles must be addressed with confidence and Courage.   One aspect of April that will be less murky and opaque is the sphere of love.  The planets have aligned in your favor my vivacious Virgin.  Perhaps this cosmic warm breeze will be enhanced by the early smoke session focused on confidence?   No matter the sphere of influence or the cosmic conundrum presented, toke time with your cannabis copilot to instill Trust in yourself, and Courage to smoke the competition.

Stoner Virgo, did you miss Valentine's Day in February?  Perhaps the calendars are off.  The New Moon on March second is possibly your second chance at Valentine's love.   For partnered Virgos this means a chance at rekindling that old spark that lit the flame of the relationship.  Toke the opportunity to burn a bowl with your love.  Light the cannabis connection that assisted companionship. For single Virgos this New Moon marks a moment for new possibilities.  You are entering a phase of opportunity for cannabis companionship.  Inhale the positive machinations of the sacred herb, and blow out the spark of manifestation. Perhaps the February time period was more stagnant than you would prefer my lovely Virgin.  March will be the month of self motivation, and you are certainly capable of this task. There are times to burn philosophical sacred bowls, and contemplate free-will versus destiny.  And there are times spark-up the divine inspiration contained within the magic of the sacred herb.  Get up and get moving stoner Virgo!  It's all up to you right now. Enjoy the month.  It gets off to a memorable emotional tone.  But then the bounty of benefits throughout the month all fall within your sphere of understanding and motivation.   Associate action with smoke sessions.  Focus on health and body more so than heady contemplations of life, the universe, and everything.  As all things fall into place by month's end.  Perhaps you will truly be able to question if your conscious actions got you there, or if it were destiny all along.

Stoner Virgo, in January you might have broken down with a tear or two;  all within the same motion of flipping into a joker meme.  What a wild ride January was.  What a blessing it is to feel all those emotions.  What a time to be alive. Maybe you look back at January as grabbing a hold of a lightning bolt, and channeling the power.  Maybe you see it like peeing on an electric fence, and feeling the power!  No matter what you think about the first month of 2022; that bowl is cached. Slow you roll early in the month.  Toke time for a solo smoke session with the sacred herb.  A nice balanced hybrid should do nicely.  Don't go too deep with this meditative smoke session stoner Virgo.  Keep it light. Focus on navigation my stoner Virgin.  Catch your bearings.  Coming out of a period like the one you just passed through is destabilizing.  You will need to be kind to yourself, and allow your internal systems to balance. This initial light medicated meditation is so important to set the tone for February.  You have so much skill, discipline, and tenacity stoner Virgo.  You will only need a little nudge from a nug to get you back into the groove. Finally, take close care of loved ones in your immediate family.  In this day-and-age doctors appointments can bring anxiety, but neglecting health concerns only passes the bowl.  In the smoke circle of life, the bowl always comes back to you.

Stoner Virgo, here … we …. GO!  The adventure of 2021 is now a memory.  We march forward into 2022 with everything we contain within. A new year to manifest our vision and being on our great terrestrial plane. Our sacred herb is a large part of how we see the landscape in front of us.  Our cannabis copilot opens the doors to reality.  It enhances our third eye to see possibilities. Know thyself stoner Virgo.  Often, vision isn't your deficit.  You can create wonderful visions of manifestation, and march like a soldier to your canna-inspired destiny.   But do you pack more than you can smoke?  Be honest stoner Virgo.  Has a dream of destiny created a mountain of tasks in the past?  Do you sometimes grind up more than you can burn down? Drive, ambition, and creativity all must be tempered by perspective, humility, and honesty. Use your cannabis copilot this month to slow down time.  Through regular and moderate meditations with the sacred herb, take a second look at your ambitious plans from a higher perspective.  This medicated meditative task throughout the month will help you find balance my stoner Virgin.  The goal in life is not to pack the biggest bowl, it's to enjoy the herb.  Don't load what you can't or shouldn’t smoke.  The process will be more fulfilling, and you might find more enjoyment in a higher quality manifestation.  Chill stoner Virgo.  You got this. 

Stoner Virgo your natural state of being is on-point and on-mission.  Of all the stoner star signs, possibly you know best that manifestation only occurs with action.  December will be a comfortable period as universal influence coincides with your stoner directives. Those words may seem sweet like the sticky icky, but a lot can pass by with a cosmic wind at your back. Stoner Virgo your ability to focus on task mastery is truly stupendous.  This month your stoner trait will turn into a super power.  However, this very blessing will be the cause of concern in the first Winter month. I do not have a cannabis strain recommendation this month.  Any species of the sacred herb will do the job.  It’s the bowl burning action that is required.  Use your cannabis copilot as a self induced speed bump on your terrestrial path.  Toke time throughout the month to slow time down, and make sure you don’t miss important scenery racing by. My passionate Virgin, as you transit through space time this month, many passionate adventures will come to light.  Perhaps new studious endeavors will break free from complex conundrums.  New understandings will snowball into even more energy and effort. Once again, use the sacred herb to slow down time, and check yourself stoner Virgo.  You are not the master of the universe.  But you can certainly be the master of your own sphere. Many have come before.  Many will come after.  Many surround you now.  Use your cannabis copilot to find your chill, and maintain perspective.  The broader smoke circle, and your cannabis companions will appreciate your restraint. What a way to finish the year stoner Virgo.  Have fun being you, but don’t be you too much for the sake of your fellow tokin’ terrestrial astronauts. Tweet

Stoner Virgo the clouds of Fall have fully set in.  Not just within the terrestrial climate, but within astrological realms as well.  Not doom and gloom, but more like a boring haze. But there is a bright side within this dense and dull period.  The stoner Virgo is naturally built for this mundane drudgery. What other sign is better equipped mentally and emotionally to march one foot in front of the other toward project completion?  That’s right my stoner Virgin … none! November is a great month for a tolerance break.  Or perhaps stocking the stash jar with low THC and high CBD cannabis strains.  You have enough ambition and focus to make your way through the cloudy terrain.  A more moderate and conservative cannabis prescription in November will help avoid the pitfalls of an obscure landscape. The danger to the final Fall month will be to get stuck in your own head within projects and dilemmas.  With an obscured landscape, the usually advantageous high perspective from cannabis contemplation could cause confusion.  With the CBD regiment of our sacred herb, it should help you stay firmly rooted on the ground. Don’t lose sight of what is important stoner Virgo.  Task mastery is an amazing talent.  But use of this talent can become all-consuming.  Great meditative powers can come from medicated smoke sessions with low THC cannabis strains. Toke time to self with your great cannabis copilot during the month to break free from the constant march toward end goals.  Inhale the relaxing nature of the sacred herb.  Focus solo meditative smoke sessions on family and those cannabis companions you are most connected to.  In the end it is those connections that unlock the keys to progress, not your stellar strength to get shit done. Stoner Virgo, you may not be one to stop and smell the roses.  But do try to stop and enjoy the flower.  These recuperative and appreciative breaks from the daily grind will feed your terrestrial roots, and give you increased strength to continue on. Tweet

Stoner Virgo, hi-ho hi-ho, it’s off to work we go.  Is that the mantra that keeps you safe, happy, and pushing progress?  In October there will be an opportunity to squeeze more out of life than tangible project manifestation. With the season of Libra, celestial influence brings balance and opportunity for the stoner Virgin. Sure sure, I know stoner Virgo, your projects and in-depth dives into passionate endeavors feeds your soul.  So you might say.  In the second Fall month there will be a intangible opportunity to connect your outer terrestrial experience with your inner voice, and heart. It is time this month to put “me time” down on your to-do list.  Toke time early in the month for a solo medicated meditative smoke session to contemplate what is missing from your terrestrial existence.  Use the sacred herb to connect your head with your soul. Halloween Glass Giveaway Focus your cannabis meditation on intangible aspects of life, not the tangible tasks of the terrestrial world. This will mean different things to different Virgos.  Perhaps you’ve neglected your passion for hiking for far too long as you battle the daily grind within the economic system.  Perhaps this month you will be able to nap without internal or external judgement from yourself.  Perhaps this exercise in self fulfillment will entail sharing a joint, and a quiet evening, with a member of your personal cann-fam. Use the sacred herb as your guide to explore your heart and your soul in ways you have neglected.  We all lose sight of our internal drives from time to time. Use your cannabis copilot as a navigational guide to reconnect with yourself. Internal care and self love will come at a great time this month my lovely Virgin.  Be sure to toke time with the sacred herb, and yourself, before the end of the first decade of October.  Because this wonderful period of healing and internal satisfaction will blend perfectly with the remaining time in the month. After the first decade, October will consist of big bong rips with the ganja gang, and chatty joint sessions with the canna-crew.  You may not always find success within the canna-crowd.  But after a serious smoke-out focused on self love and internal repair, you will feel like a new you; ready to chop-it-up with the smoke circle, and move forward on the terrestrial plane with rebalanced targets and goals. Tweet

Stoner Virgo the month of August will be similar to that time you hit the pipe, or joint, one time too many in one session.  Crashing waves of stoned paranoia followed by troughs of paralyzing deep contemplative thoughts all leaving you beached on an island within yourself. We’ve all been there, my logical Virgin.  The great news is that you survived that face melting stoned psychedelic experience, and perhaps you even learned valuable lessons from it.  August will be similar. On the final day of July cosmic machinations from solar system events threw the stoner Virgo into a new state of mind.  This event may be so impactful that the nature of how you see yourself, and the world, could be dramatically changed. Rusty Eric wisely said, “When you allow your ego to control your thoughts, everything you believe becomes an illusion.” Stoner Virgo, the key to progress in August will be to survive and thrive within the deep cosmic waves in the first half of the month.  Then find an adaptive plan in the second.  All the while your stout work ethic, and logical brain, will guide you through all phases. The cannabis prescription for this mind melting month is a bit loose.  Each stoner Virgo must make their own decisions at appropriate times regarding the sacred herb.  Absolutely stock a high CBD low THC cannabis strain in your stash box for the month.  Especially for the first decade. The universe will be sending enough waves of deep contemplation.  You will want your cannabis copilot to assist in dealing with your thoughts, versus accentuating them. Stock your favorite Sativa strains for the second half of the month.  The creativity of the Sativa species may assist in the adaptive cosmic notes of the final two weeks. Know this my stoner Virgin:  As with that moment you got too high, and everything was uneasy and confusing, you were ok.  When your worldview is challenged in August, remember, everything is going to be ok. Tweet

Stoner Virgo, your Zodiac peers often look enviously to your example:  An easy breezy, go-with-the-flow kind of stride that keeps everyone wondering, “How DO they do it?”  As nice as it is to recite mantras like, ‘keep calm and puff on’ or ‘light up and let go’, you know the truth stoner Virgo: It takes work! Don’t get caught up in making it look so easy.  You love it when the stars align to pave the way for a peaceful path ahead. But, you are equally excited when the cosmos has a little chaos in store.  You don’t seek out troubles stoner Virgo, yet you are willing, and ready, to face any challenge that you encounter during your terrestrial travels. Stoner Virgo, the secret to maintaining forward moving momentum this season will be to celebrate your setbacks as readily as your successes. Even when you miss your mark, or fail to cross the finish line, there is opportunity for growth. There are times when instead of letting go, it is better to lean into our mistakes. Smokin Js online headshop now accepts Bitcoin and Ethereum. Meditating with the sweet soothing vapors of sensimilla will not just be helpful this month, it will be essential. Breath deep stoner Virgo. Inhale the perspective expanding magic of the sacred herb, and allow it to elevate your perspective. From this higher vantage point, you will be better poised to see the big picture. It will be a challenge for the ever-ambitious stoner Virgo, but one of the most productive things you can do this month is to give yourself a break. You are the master of the daily grind, but right now you might be questioning what you’re moving toward.  With the help of the sacred herb, and a set schedule for mindful medicated meditation, you will find your inspiration again. Solo smoke sessions will give you the space and setting for self-reflection, away from any outside forces or influences. After some much needed time spent alone, smoking out and looking inward, you will be eager to rejoin your fellow stoner Zodiac on their cosmic cannabis chronicles.  You will be ready again to rise to any unexpected detour or obstacle the Summer brings. But different from the tense, self-critical days early in the month, you’ll now know that it’s okay if you decide to puff puff and pass the first time around.  To try again later after you’ve given yourself more time to pause, puff, and prepare. Tweet

Stoner Virgo, get ready for an intriguing June.  Mercury and Saturn are in retrograde this month, and the effects could be more dramatic for the hard working Virgin. You must find your inner chill stoner Virgo.  Seek out an Indica dominant hybrid cannabis strain to utilize as your daily driver for the month.  Wedding Cake should do nicely.  Mercury in retrograde affects communications with your fellow terrestrial astronauts.  The Saturn retrograde gives a two-handed shove of momentum to communication breakdowns in the work sphere.  But fear not my diligent stoner Virgo, with foreknowledge and your cannabis copilot, you will get through this difficult stage with all your precious glass intact.  One of the benefits of the Mercury retrograde is the opportunity to analyze your terrestrial station.  Use smoke sessions with the sacred herb to seek a higher perspective on your current work situation.  How much does work dominate your personal life?  Is there room to dampen down the perfectionist expectations on others while you delegate work tasks?  Perhaps you are bearing the load because of your direct actions?  Toke time to contemplate your actions and decisions in the work sphere, and how they can be adjusted to promote a higher quality of life in future periods. Make it a mantra this month:  Chill stoner Virgo.  Perhaps put some soothing reggae music on top of your playlist.  But repeat this mantra over and over again.  June is not the month to take on arguments with coworkers or partners-in-chronic.  Yes, you might have to perform the difficult task of biting your tongue this month.  Put that argument in your pocket, and analyze it during a medicated meditative smoke session later.  Find your chill stoner Virgo, or insignificant moments of disagreement could become dramatic moments of argument.  Chill stoner Virgo.  Everything is going to be ok.  A lot of this broad personal contemplation with the sacred herb could unlock massively progressive points of freedom within your spirit.  Accepting a lack of control while strengthening your self confidence could be a combination leading to spiritual freedom.  By the time the Full Moon on June 24th rises, you should be feeling like a new you.  Spark a bowl on this date, and celebrate the majesty of our universe, and your place in it. Tweet