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Why is it possible to listen carefully to someone and still completely misunderstand them? In this episode, I’m joined by my friend Yael Schonbrun, psychologist, couples therapist, and author of Why Don’t You Understand Me? The Surprising Science of Connecting in a World of Missed Signals. Yael’s work explores something all of us experience: we want to feel seen and understood, but we’re constantly interpreting other people through our own experiences, assumptions, fears, and stories. And the closer we are to someone, the more confident we often become that we already know what they’re thinking. Even when we don’t. This conversation felt really personal for me. I’ve spent a lot of time learning how my own tendency to read the room, anticipate other people’s reactions, and people-please can actually prevent me from saying what I need and letting people truly understand me. Yael and I talk about the difference between listening and understanding, why two people can honestly remember the same experience differently, and how humility and curiosity can help us create a more complete shared reality. We also explore perspective-getting instead of mind reading, positive regard, resentment, parenting, difficult conversations, and the courage it takes to ask someone what they actually think instead of assuming we already know. Key Takeaways Listening and understanding are not the same thing: Hearing someone’s words is only the beginning. Understanding requires us to interpret what they mean and that’s where our own stories and biases can get in the way.We are not as good at mind reading as we think: Especially with people close to us, our confidence about what they think or feel often exceeds our actual accuracy.Try perspective-getting instead of perspective-taking: Rather than imagining what someone else feels, ask them.Humility makes deeper understanding possible: Two people can experience the same situation differently without either person being dishonest or malicious.Feeling understood requires vulnerability: If we hide what we need because we’re afraid of someone’s reaction, we may unintentionally prevent the very intimacy and trust we want.Positive regard helps relationships recover: Seeing the whole person creates more room for repair, curiosity, and connection.LINKS - Pre-Order Yael's Newest Book: Why Don’t You Understand Me? The Surprising Science of Connecting in a World of Missed Signals. - Learn more about Yael on her website - Listen to Work, Parent, Thrive with Psychologist Yael Schonbrun - Listen to Navigating Love: A Deep Dive into Relationships with Yael Schonbrun -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

How often are you outside without really being with the place you’re moving through? In this Mindfulness in Action, I’m taking last week’s conversation about nature connectedness out of the theoretical space and into your body. You can do this practice while walking, running, riding, sitting outside, or even moving through your everyday life. We’ll use our senses to notice the ground, air, smells, sounds, and beauty around us. Then we’ll move into awe, compassion, and meaning. You’ll notice what changes when we stop thinking of nature as something we use for a workout or an experience, and remember that we are part of the ecosystem too. I’ll also invite you to find something old, like a tree, rock, mountain, or landscape, and let its scale give you perspective on whatever you’re carrying today. You don’t have to stop training hard or pursuing big goals, but I’ll encourage you to learn how to do those things while staying connected to the world you’re moving through. Key Takeaways Nature connectedness is a relationship: We can shift from simply using the outdoors to noticing how we belong within it.Your senses are a doorway to presence: Touch, smell, sound, sight, and the feeling of air can bring us back into the moment.Awe changes perspective: Feeling small beside something ancient or vast can create space around our everyday worries.Compassion can extend beyond people: Paying attention to another living thing can remind us that we’re part of a larger community.The more you notice, the more you begin to notice: Connection grows through small, repeated moments of attention.LINKS - Nature Connectedness & Well-Being with Molly Peterson & Dr. Holli-Anne Passmore - Mindfulness in Action: Grounding in Nature - Movement, Nature, and Connection for Optimal Well-Being with John Ratey -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

A lot of us spend time outside. We run, ride, hike, train, explore, and use nature as a place to play or pursue our goals. But does spending time in nature actually mean we’re connected to it? This episode was inspired by something I heard during a recent breathwork session: many of us use nature without being in relationship with nature. That idea made me think about my own life as an athlete, and all the years I spent outside focused on intervals, performance, Strava times, and self-improvement without always noticing the world I was moving through. In this solo episode, I explore the research around nature connectedness and the difference between simply being outside and actually feeling like you’re part of the natural world. I talk about: - Awe - The “small self” - Meaning - Curiosity - Sensory awareness - Simple ways we can become more present outside without giving up our workouts or performance goals I'm not encouraging us to slow down all the time. I'm talking about occasionally looking up, paying attention, and remembering that nature can be more than the backdrop for what we’re trying to accomplish. What might change if we stopped only using nature, and started building a relationship with it?  LINKS - Nature Connectedness & Well-Being with Molly Peterson & Dr. Holli-Anne Passmore - Mindfulness in Action: Grounding in Nature - Movement, Nature, and Connection for Optimal Well-Being with John Ratey -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

What if quitting was courageous? In this episode, I sit down with Lindsay Crouse, a former New York Times journalist and producer who spent 15 years at the Times, where she worked in Opinion and helped commission hundreds of short documentaries for Op-Docs. As an endurance athlete herself, Lindsay also became known for telling powerful stories about female athletes, pregnancy, sponsorship, and the hidden challenges women face in sport. Now, Lindsay has written a book about quitting. We talk about why our culture celebrates pushing through at all costs, how perseverance can become a trap, and why quitting can sometimes be the wiser, braver, more values-aligned choice. Lindsay shares what led her to leave the Times, how motherhood changed her relationship with work and running, and why so many women in midlife start asking whether the lives they built in their twenties still fit who they are now. I also share a story I haven’t really talked about before: the moment I decided to quit chasing sponsorships after pregnancy, even though I was still winning races. I had overcome so much, but the cycle of overdelivering, being unseen, and trying to prove my worth had become damaging to my mental health. Someone called it “positive quitting,” and that phrase has stayed with me. This episode is for anyone who has been taught to never give up, but is starting to wonder whether continuing is actually helping or hurting. It’s about identity, motherhood, sport, learned helplessness, hope, sunk costs, fear, and the freedom that can come when we stop forcing ourselves to stay on a path we’ve outgrown. Top 5 Takeaways Quitting is not always failure: Sometimes quitting is the choice that allows us to preserve our energy, integrity, health, and future possibility.Perseverance can become passive: Continuing is also a choice, even when it feels like the default.Identity can keep us stuck: When we are known for something, it can feel terrifying to let it go, even if it no longer fits.Women often feel pressure to “hold up the sky”: In sport, work, motherhood, and life, quitting can feel like confirming someone else’s bias instead of honoring our own truth.Hope can be complicated: Optimism and hard work can keep us locked into paths where we no longer have real control or momentum.LINKS Learn more about Lindsay CrouseFollow Lindsay on InstagramRead The Case for Quitting: The Surprising Benefits of Opting OutListen to What It Really Means to MatterListen to Hope Is the Strategy: Burnout, Mattering, and Meaningful Work with Jen Fisher  -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

A couple of days ago, I finished my first ultra trail running race: the Squamish 50K. This episode is a reflection on what it took to get there, what actually happened out on the course, and what I’m still processing afterward. This wasn’t a fairy-tale race story. I came into it after broken ribs, sickness, a short training window, and a lot of uncertainty about whether my body would hold up. I kept coming back to one idea: race to the level of my durability, not the level of my fitness. That was humbling. I had to go against old instincts from 20 years of mountain bike racing, let people pass me, manage pain, and accept that who I am today is not always the same as who I’ve been in the past. But I finished, my kids ran across the line with me, and I learned a lot about patience, limits, identity, and what it means to show up honestly. This episode is for anyone who has had to meet themselves where they are, not where they wish they were. Key Takeaways - Race to the level of your durability, not just your fitness - Who you are today matters more than who you’ve been - Finishing can be meaningful without being glamorous - Pain and suffering don’t need to be glorified - Identity is allowed to shift -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

This week, I’m bringing back a conversation from the archives with Ethan Kross, one of the world’s leading experts on the conscious mind and the author of Chatter and Shift. I wanted to replay this episode because it connects so strongly with what I’ve been exploring lately on Grow the Good: impatience, rushing, emotional regulation, mindfulness, and the way our inner voice can either help us move through challenges or keep us stuck in loops of overthinking. Ethan’s work looks at the conversations we have with ourselves and how those conversations shape our health, performance, decisions, relationships, and well-being. In this episode, we talk about negative self-talk, chatter, emotion, mindfulness, problem-solving, and why creating psychological distance can help us work with our thoughts more effectively. One of the tools Ethan shares is called distant self-talk: coaching yourself through a challenge the way you would coach a friend, even using your own name or the word “you” to create a little more space. That shift can help us move from being consumed by our thoughts to relating to them with more perspective. This conversation is a great reminder that our thoughts are not always facts, and our inner voice does not have to be in charge. We can learn to work with it, redirect it, and use it as a tool for more clarity, resilience, and self-compassion. KEY TAKEAWAYS: The difference between self-control and willpowerWhat emotions are and how they shape our behaviorProblem-solving versus overthinkingNegative self-talk versus chatterWhen mindfulness helps, and when reframing may be more usefulHow distant self-talk can shift perspectiveWhy sleep and chatter are so closely connectedLINKS: - Original conversation with Ethan Kross - Learn more about Ethan's work - Read Ethan's books "Chatter" and newly released, "Shift" - Listen to Self-Talk for Performance: Mental Skills for Athletes -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

What does it actually mean to keep growing as an adult? In this episode, I sit down with my dear friend Travis Macy for a conversation that is less of an interview and more of a real, honest exploration of adulthood, grief, parenting, identity, intimacy, and mattering. Travis and I have had many podcast conversations over the years. I’ve been on his podcast, he’s been on mine, and we became good friends through this work. In a lot of ways, we’ve lived these almost parallel lives as professional athletes, parents, podcasters, keynote speakers, authors, and people trying to figure out who we are beyond performance. In this conversation, Travis shares about his father’s eight-year journey with Alzheimer’s and his recent passing, and how that experience became a major developmental milestone in his own life. We talk about grief, appreciation, gratitude, and the strange way hard things can deepen us when we are willing to stay present with them. We also explore adult development: how our beliefs, identities, relationships, and sense of self change over time. We talk about moving from approval-seeking to mattering, from performance-based identity to something more flexible, and from people-pleasing to more honest communication and deeper intimacy. This episode is for anyone navigating transition, grief, parenting, identity shifts, or the question: who am I becoming now? Top 5 Takeaways Adult growth is not just personal development: It changes how we understand ourselves, our relationships, and the world around us.Grief can become a developmental milestone: Travis shares how his father’s Alzheimer’s journey and passing reshaped his sense of adulthood, gratitude, and appreciation.Identity has to become more flexible: Many of us are learning who we are beyond performance, achievement, sponsorships, or old versions of success.Mattering is different from approval: Feeling valued and knowing we add value can move us beyond people-pleasing and the need to prove ourselves.Relationships help us grow: Parenting, partnership, friendship, community, and emotional honesty can all become places where adult development happens.LINKS Learn about Travis’s workFollow Travis on Instagram A Mile at a Time with Endurance Athletes Travis and Mark “Mace” MacyThe Ultra Mindset with Endurance Athlete and Coach Travis MacyPerformance, Imperfect Preparation, and Flexibility with Travis Macy (Live Podcast)-------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

In this Mindfulness in Action episode, we’re practicing patience in real time. If you listened to last week’s solo episode, I talked about impatience, rushing, and how so many of us move through life like our self-worth depends on our productivity. This practice is about noticing that urgency in the body and gently turning the dial down. You don’t have to cancel everything or suddenly become a completely calm person. This is about slowing down just 2%, enough for your nervous system to notice that you are no longer rushing. You are just moving. I guide you through a simple walking meditation to notice your default pace, where urgency shows up in your body, and what changes when you soften, breathe, and move a little more slowly. This is a practice for anyone who feels like they’re living in fast-forward mode and wants to come back to the present moment. -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

In this solo episode, I’m talking about patience, and really, about rushing. Rather than focus on time management conversation, I'm taking a look at what happens in our bodies and nervous systems when we move through life with constant urgency, and how impatience can show us where we feel out of control, overstimulated, or overly attached to productivity. I share what I’ve been noticing in my own life, from parenting and waiting in lines to endurance racing, phones, AI, and the scratchy feeling of wanting things to happen faster than they can. The good news is that patience is trainable. It’s a skill that helps us stay present with discomfort, delay, uncertainty, and the slow parts of growth. Next week, we’ll practice building patience in real time with a Mindfulness in Action episode. -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

In this episode, I sit down with workplace well-being expert and author Jen Fisher to talk about her book, Hope Is the Strategy, and why hope matters so much in a world where so many people are burned out, languishing, and struggling to feel like they matter. Jen shares her own story of severe burnout and how achievement-based identity, constant performance pressure, and external definitions of success can slowly disconnect us from our well-being. This conversation felt especially meaningful to me because so many of us, athletes, high achievers, leaders, parents, professionals, know what it feels like to keep pushing, even when something inside us is saying, “This is not sustainable.” We talk about the difference between hope and optimism, and Jen breaks down hope as an evidence-based framework: having a goal, seeing pathways forward, and believing we have agency. We also explore how hope is connected to mattering, why feeling valued is essential for well-being, and what individuals, teams, and organizations can do to create environments where people can actually thrive. We also get into rest, recovery, human connection, and the role of AI in the future of work. If AI is going to change how we work, how can we use it to make work more human instead of less? This conversation is for anyone who has ever tied their worth to achievement, felt stuck in a system that was eroding their well-being, or wondered how to keep moving forward with more hope, courage, and connection. Top 5 Takeaways Hope is active, not passive: Hope includes a clear goal, pathways to move forward, and the agency to take action.Achievement-based identity can fuel burnout: When our worth depends on performance, success can become unsustainable.Languishing gives language to the in-between: You may not be in crisis, but you may not be flourishing either.Mattering and hope are deeply connected: Feeling valued and knowing your contributions matter can help create the conditions for hope.Work needs to become more human, not less: Rest, recovery, connection, and thoughtful AI use all matter in the future of well-being. LINKS Learn more about Jen Fisher Read Jen Fisher’s new book Hope is the Strategy Finding Meaning and Mattering at Work with Andrew Soren Finding Meaningful Work with Wes Adams and Tamara Myles -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

In this Mindfulness in Action episode, I’m exploring what it means to not only add value, but to let ourselves feel valued. So many of us are working hard to matter. We’re trying to contribute, perform, improve, achieve, help, and show up for other people. But even when we are adding value, we may not actually let the feeling of mattering land. We move so quickly that we miss the evidence that we are seen, appreciated, and needed. This episode is deeply personal for me. I share a reflection on the loss of Isaac Prilleltensky, whose work on mattering has profoundly shaped my life, my research, and the book I’m writing. Isaac embodied mattering in the way he made people feel seen and valued, and his encouragement helped me keep going when I needed it most. From there, I guide you through a short mindfulness and reflection practice to help you remember a time when someone made you feel valued. We’ll practice noticing not just the thought of that moment, but how it felt in the body. The warmth, lightness, relief, energy, or connection that can come when we allow ourselves to receive care, recognition, or support. Because mattering is not only about what we give, it's also about what we are willing to receive. Top 5 Takeaways Mattering has two sides: It includes both adding value and feeling valued.Many of us struggle to let feeling valued land: Compliments, help, encouragement, and recognition can be uncomfortable to receive.Feeling valued is embodied: It can show up as warmth, lightness, relief, energy, or a sense of connection.Accepting help allows others to add value too: Receiving is not a burden; it can deepen connection and mattering on both sides.What we focus on, we begin to notice: Practicing awareness of where we feel valued can help us see more evidence of mattering in everyday life.LINKS What It Really Means to Matter How to Build a Life of Contribution with Tom Rath Other Mindfulness in Action episodes -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

What does it actually mean to matter? In this solo episode, I’m diving into a topic that has been occupying my mind for years and has become a central part of my research, workshops, and the book I’m writing: mattering. Mattering is more than belonging. It’s more than self-esteem. It’s the lived experience of both adding value and feeling valued — to yourself, in your relationships, at work, and in your broader community. And when one of those pieces is missing, achievement can start to feel hollow. This episode is an invitation to look at your own goals, your own striving, and your own relationships with more curiosity. Where do you genuinely feel like you matter? Where does your mattering feel conditional? And where might you be trying to earn recognition from people or places that may never be able to give it? I’m with you on this journey of personal growth, adventure, and our mission to be better every day. Learn more and follow my work: Substack: sonyalooney.substack.com Newsletter: sonyalooney.com/newsletter -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

What if the real value of achievement isn’t what it proves about us, but how it contributes to others? In this episode, I sit down with bestselling author, researcher, and publisher Tom Rath. Tom is known for books like How Full Is Your Bucket?, StrengthsFinder 2.0, Strengths-Based Leadership, and Eat, Move, Sleep. His work has shaped how millions of people think about strengths, well-being, purpose, and the way we spend our days. We talk about the difference between purpose and passion, why strengths only matter when they are used in service of others, how to think about career fit, and why retirement may not be the goal we’ve been taught it is. We also explore the role of AI in the future of work, and how it might free us to spend more time on the creative, relational, and meaningful parts of our lives. This episode is for anyone who wants to keep striving, but in a way that feels more grounded, sustainable, and connected to what really matters. Top 5 Takeaways Achievement feels different when it is connected to contributionPurpose is not the same as passionStrengths need directionWell-being and performance are connectedAI may change how we work, but it can also create opportunityLINKS - Learn more about Tom - Read Tom's new book Life's Great Question: Discover How You Contribute To The World - Finding Meaningful Work with Tamara Myles and Wes Adams - Meaning and Mattering at Work with Andrew Soren -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

This Mindfulness in Action episode is a real-time practice in mental agility: the ability to notice what’s happening in your thoughts, emotions, and body, and make small adjustments that help you stay aligned with what matters. In the previous solo episode, I talked about mental agility from a more practical and educational lens: emotional agility, attentional agility, mindfulness, and the internal and external shifters that help us regulate and adapt. In this episode, we take those ideas out of the theoretical space and into real life. I recorded this while moving outside, because movement often helps me feel more embodied and aware of what’s happening in my inner world. I talk about resilience, adaptability, psychological flexibility, and the constant adjustments we make as athletes, parents, partners, professionals, and humans trying to do hard things. This episode includes a short mindfulness practice to help you notice where you might feel rigid mentally, emotionally, or behaviorally, and then gently practice shifting.  Here's what you'll learn: - Mental agility is resilience in motion - Hard things happen on many scales - Flexibility takes practice - Emotions need space - Small actions build capacity LINKS - Recently solo episode on mental agility - MIA: What It Means to Get Better - MIA: How to Build Human Connection -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.

What does it really mean to be mentally agile? In this solo episode, I’m talking about the emotional and attentional skills that help us notice what’s happening inside of us, create space, and choose our next move with more intention. Mental agility is the ability to shift, adapt, and stay connected to what matters, especially when things don’t go the way we planned. Today, I’lm talking about emotional agility, mindfulness, emotional granularity, and the internal and external “shifters” that can help us adjust in real time. I also walk you through two practical tools: my REAL framework for emotional agility and the 3R tool for attention: recognize, regroup, and refocus. This episode leads us to the next Mindfulness in Action practice, where we’ll take these ideas out of the theoretical space and into real life. Next week, we’ll practice mental agility on the move, using mindfulness as a way to notice shifting in real time. Top 5 Takeaways Mental agility is different from resilience: Resilience often shows up after hard things happen, but mental agility is something we can practice every day.Emotions are data, not directives: Your emotions can tell you what you care about, but they don’t have to decide how you behave.Mindfulness creates space: When you can notice your thoughts, emotions, and body sensations without immediately reacting, you have more choice.Attention is trainable: The 3R tool (recognize, regroup, refocus) can help you come back to the task, the moment, or the next right action.Small shifts matter: Sensation, attention, perspective, physical space, trusted people, and culture can all help us regulate and shift in real time. -------------- The Grow the Good Podcast is produced by Palm Tree Pod Co.