Advertise on podcast: My Pocket Psych

In this episode, Richard is joined by fellow psychologist Dr. Hayley Lewis for a chat about what we now call 'Imposter Phenomenon'.  Essentially, Imposter Phenomenon (previously called 'imposter syndrome') is an experience when an employee feels they've achieved their success and position due to luck, rather than talent, and that any moment, it could all come crashing down. The combination of uncertainty and worry can lead to some very unhealthy ways of working, while also eroding job satisfaction and relationships.  Richard and Hayley explore how this differs from 'healthy' self-doubt, how it manifests in thoughts, feelings and behaviours, and what people can do if they notice these kinds of unhelpful thinking patterns.  Do get in touch with your questions and comments - it's always great to hear from listeners! Email the show at 'podcast at WorkLifePsych dot com'. Thanks for listening! Resources for this episode Hayley's new book, which she co-wrote with Dr Clare Mulligan-Foster, is almost here. It's called Applying Psychology to Consulting: From theory to practice. This book is for psychologists, and HR/OD/L&D practitioners working in consultancy. Whether you work in-house, or for an external consultancy, or you're a freelancer, this book is for you. Pre-order will be available from the 27th October. If you pre-order on the Routledge website and use the code 26SMA3, you'll get 20% off! You can find Hayley's new podcast here: https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/manage-with-confidence/id1895356511  Follow Hayley on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/haypsych/  Sign up for 'Pause and Reflect' our self-directed course to support your intentional reflection and learning: https://www.worklifespark.com/checkout/pause-and-reflect  Check out this other episode featuring Hayley, where we discuss becoming your own boss: https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/106/

In this episode, we turn our attention to the topic of thoughts, thinking and how we interact with all the stuff our own mind creates for us.  While the human mind is definitely a wonderful thing, some of the thoughts (including images, predictions, memories) it provides us can be unpleasant to experience. They can lead to worry, distraction, and unhappiness over time. And unlike all the fridges, cars and computers you've ever bought, we don't receive an owner's manual for the mind at birth. If anything, we pick up lots of unhelpful thinking habits as we grow up! Not to mention buying in to common misconceptions about thoughts and the mind in general.  What's the alternative? One approach is to get some helpful distance from the thoughts, by seeing them as simply thoughts. We can also use metaphors and imagery to simplify our relationship with mental experiences. When practiced consistently, we call this 'cognitive defusion'.  Next time, we'll look at a really common manifestation of unhelpful thoughts - something psychologists refer to as Imposter Phenomenon. Until then get in touch with your comments, feedback and ideas. It's always great to hear from listeners. Email 'podcast at WorkLifePsych dot com' or join the conversation over on WorkLifeSpark.  Thanks for listening!  Resources for this episode Learn more about Psychological Flexibility, which is supported by Defusion: https://www.worklifepsych.com/solution/wellbeing/psychological-flexibility/  Learn more about Cognitive Defusion in this previous episode: https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/158/  Learn more about our online personal development community WorkLifeSpark here: https://www.worklifepsych.com/community-and-learning/worklifespark/

In this episode, I look at the downsides of striving for future success, when we're not completely sure what that actually looks like. In coaching sessions, I often hear clients worry that they're not successful, not successful enough or concerned about missing a future success target. All when they can't clearly explain to me or themselves what success looks like.  This means we can often put in the hard work and make the sacrifices in pursuit of something that we mightn't even value or care about. It's a useful reminder of the relevance of our personal values when it comes to evaluating our success, and of moving away from simple binary self-evaluations. Instead, we can focus on the journey and the progress we're making towards a truly valued outcome.  Do get in touch with your comments and questions. It's always great to hear from listeners! Email me at 'podcast at WorkLifePsych dot com' or join the conversation over on WorkLifeSpark. Resources for this episode Ep 224: Values - it's what you do that matters - https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/224/ Ep 225: Values as tools for life - https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/225/

One of the best ways to understand something as conceptual as values is to use metaphors and imagery. In this episode, I explore the topic of values by seeing them as tools - tools for life. Whether it's navigating organisational change, cultivating new healthy habits, or managing a difficult relationship, values can be an extremely helpful way to clarify our intentions and guide our behaviour. But like all tools, we need to practice using them, avoid over-relying on one tool, and reflect on how our use of them is making a difference. Thinking of our values as tools helps us avoid relying on automatic responses to difficult situations and makes us more mindful about our responses. But only if we've practiced using them and learnt to be skilful. As I pointed out in the last episode, it's what we do with our values that matters - no matter how clear we are on them. Let me know if you have questions or comments about the topic - especially if you have your own handy metaphors for your values and how to bring them to life. You can email me at 'podcast at WorkLifePsych dot com' or just get in touch via WorkLifeSpark. As always, thanks for listening!  Resources for this episode Ep 224: Values - it's what you do that matters - https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/224/ Learn more about psychological flexibility here Sign up for WorkLifeSpark, our online personal development community: https://www.worklifespark.com/sign-up

Our monthly focus over on WorkLifeSpark is values and how to bring them to life. So, in this episode, I take a look at the importance of living values, not just talking about them.  I use my recent extended holiday as a simple illustration of how to bring values to life in simple ways, but also explore how this can be done in the workplace. Values-in-action isn't always fun, though - so I take some time to explain why some of the meaningful things we do are important for their outcome, not for how they make us feel in the moment.  As ever, please get in touch with your questions or feedback. And join WorkLifeSpark to contine the conversation on our online community.  Thanks for listening!  Resources for this episode Values: it's about action - https://www.worklifepsych.com/values-its-about-action/ How do values and goals differ? https://www.worklifepsych.com/how-do-values-and-goals-differ/ How to use values and goals together - https://www.worklifepsych.com/how-to-use-values-and-goals-together/  Wellbeing: it starts with values - https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/ep-181-wellbeing-it-starts-with-values/

This episode continues our recent run on sleep, intentional rest and breaks, this time viewed through the lens of sustainability. When working with coaching clients, I often ask them something along the lines of: Can you keep working the way you are right now without it costing you? That is the central question when it comes to working pace, intensity and sustainability. And it's sustainability, not just short-term output, that's the right lens for thinking about taking breaks.  The bottom line is that if you're waiting for physical symptoms, a drop in performance, or feedback from others about how you look, it means you have already left it too late! Instead, reframe rest and breaks as a form of self-care - things you do proactively, to improve your wellbeing, before you absoutely need them.  Do get in touch with your questions, comments and ideas. Email me 'podcast at worklifePsych.com' or join the conversation over on WorkLifeSpark, our online personal developmet community. Membership is free! As ever, thanks for listening! Resources for this episode Ep 221: Sleep and rest - they're not optional! https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/221  Ep 222: Rest is more than sleep - https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/222  What is self-care and why does it matter? https://www.worklifepsych.com/self-care-what-is-it-and-why-does-it-matter/

In this episode, I continue the focus on sleep, rest and breaks, moving beyond sleep itself to explore the many other forms rest can take. I explain why treating rest as something to be earned gets in the way of sustainable working. And actively hampers our performance and wellbeing. Why sleep is a biological imperative, but rest is a separate need requiring a conscious decision. How rest can take many forms - not just lying down! The episode closes with a practical three-step exercise for building more rest into your week: list what counts as rest for you, get clear on your why, and start with one small change. I also include a message for all the high achievers out there: there are no prizes for pushing through without rest.  Do get in touch with your questions, comments and tips! Email at 'podcast worklifepsych dot com' or join the conversation over on WorkLifeSpark, our online personal development community.  Thanks for listening! Resources for this episode The Art of Rest, Claudia Hammond - https://claudiahammond.com/the-art-of-rest/ Article about Niksen from The Guardian - https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2024/feb/07/the-art-of-doing-nothing-have-the-dutch-found-the-answer-to-burnout-culture Ep 221: Sleep and rest - they're not optional! https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/221

In this episode, Richard is joined again by Dr Fiona Jane Meechin to tackle a topic that underpins everything else in workplace wellbeing: sleep. They make the case that sleep isn't just one wellbeing habit among many. Rather, it's the foundation that determines whether everything else we do for our health and performance actually pays off. The conversation covers why consistently short sleep is linked to serious physical and mental health risks (including a measurable rise in early mortality), and why sleep has something of an "image problem" — its benefits are invisible, unlike a healthy lunch or a gym session, which makes it easy to deprioritise. Richard and Fiona also explore the connection between self-compassion and rest, discussing how a reluctance to rest often reflects a belief that rest has to be earned rather than treated as a basic requirement. They close with a practical, low-effort toolkit for better sleep - covering daylight exposure, caffeine and alcohol timing, evening wind-down routines, bedroom environment, and the case for treating naps and rest as a strategic tool rather than a guilty indulgence. Please get in touch with your questions about sleep, wellbeing and performance. Email via 'podcast at worklifepsych dot com' or join the conversation over on WorkLifeSpark, our personal development community.  Thanks for listening - and thanks to Fiona for her expertise.  Resources for this episode Ep 218: Self-compassion with Dr. Fiona Jane Meechan: https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/218  Get in touch with Fiona on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/fionajanemeechan/ Find out about our approach to wellbeing: https://www.worklifepsych.com/wellbeing  Check out Matt Walker's book 'Why we sleep': https://www.penguin.co.uk/books/295665/why-we-sleep-by-walker-matthew/9780141983769  Sign up to WorkLifeSpark for free today: https://www.worklifespark.com/sign-up

In this episode, I look at how self-compassion can help us navigate organisational change - one of the most common, and often most difficult, experiences we face at work. I start with a quick recap of what self-compassion actually is (and isn't): mindful awareness of our difficulties, a sense of common humanity, and genuine self-kindness — not softness, not lowered standards, and definitely not "keep calm and carry on." I explore why change tends to feel threatening, even when it's handled well and how some of our typical responses can quietly undermine us during change, and how they can tip into unsustainable coping strategies. Then I turn to how self-compassion helps: acknowledging our distress honestly, connecting with others rather than pulling away, and taking intentional, kind action to support ourselves through the process. I also bring in Martin Seligman's model of pessimism (personal, permanent, pervasive) and make the case for real optimism — not denial, but a mature belief in our own ability to navigate what's ahead. I close by connecting self-compassion to how leaders show up for others during change, including the risks of toxic positivity and unhelpful labelling. You can always get in touch with your questions and comments - it's great to hear from listeners! Email at via 'podcast at worklifepsych dot com' or join the conversation over at WorkLifeSpark, our online personal development community. Thanks for listening! Resources for this episode Ep 218: Self-compassion with Dr. Fiona Jane Meechan Ep 219: Comparison or compassion? Self-compassion: the missing ingredient: https://www.worklifepsych.com/self-compassion-the-missing-ingredient/ Join WorkLifeSpark today!

In this episode, I explore why we compare ourselves to others at work, and what to do when those comparisons leave us feeling worse rather than better. I unpack the evolutionary roots of social comparison, why comparing ourselves to people we don't know well (rather than those close to us) tends to be the most damaging, and how these comparisons can spiral into rumination, pull us out of the present moment, and quietly shape our self-concept over time. Drawing on my coaching work, I share four practical responses: noticing when you're making a comparison, learning to see it as just a passing thought (cognitive defusion), getting curious about where it's really coming from, and staying mindfully aware of how it affects your feelings and behaviour. I also revisit self-compassion as a way of responding to comparison with kindness rather than judgement. I close the episode by distinguishing unhelpful comparisons from useful ones- spotting a role model, and comparing yourself to your own past self as a way of tracking meaningful progress. Let me know if you have any follow-up questions or comments - email me at 'podcast at worklifepsych dot com' or join the conversation over on WorkLifeSpark, our online personal development community. Thanks for listening! Resources for this episode Ep 218 - Self-compassion with Dr. Fiona Jane Meechan Self-compassion: the missing ingredient - https://www.worklifepsych.com/self-compassion-the-missing-ingredient/  Sign up for WorkLifeSpark today

In this episode, Richard is joined by an expert in self-compassion for a discussion about this all-important skillset. Richard and Fiona Jane Meechan discuss why self-compassion can be tough to develop, even when we can be compassionate to others. They look at some of the simple ways we can bring self-compassion to life in our everyday routines, exploring it through the lens of the six pillars of wellbeing. This includes social connection, sleep, movement and self-talk. They bust some myths and misunderstandings about self-compassion and explain the contributions it makes to wellbeing and performance at work. Please get in touch with any questions about the topic - either via email (podcast at worklifepsych dot com) or on WorkLifeSpark. As always, thanks for listening! About our guest Fiona helps ethical leaders to improve wellbeing and performance in their businesses. Fiona has a passion for compassion, and knows that the compassion process starts with looking after you! Fiona has always been drawn to making life better for people.  Her first love was criminology and she worked in public services for 16 years, focusing on improving community health, wellbeing and safety. Then through having to deal with badly behaved bosses in work, Fiona realised that what we ultimately need to improve is compassionate and competent leadership at all levels, because when we do that, there is a real ripple effect, and life becomes better for everyone. So for the past 12 years she has taught leadership at Alliance Manchester Business School, and worked on a national level to improve wellbeing and leadership in policing. Fiona also runs her own leadership and team development practice and supports people across the public and private sectors. She knows that compassionate leadership starts with self-compassion, and that's why we're chatting today. Resources for this episode Sign up for WorkLifeSpark today: https://www.worklifespark.com/sign-up Sign up for our upcoming masterclass on self-compassion: https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1990550352689?aff=oddtdtcreator Frazzled to Focused in 5 mins a day - Calm your mind and improve your leadership:  oaktreepersonaldevelopment.com/calmyourmind Compassion at Work Toolkit and other research on compassionate leadership: https://www.researchgate.net/profile/Fiona-Meechan Connect with Fiona on LinkedIn:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/fionajanemeechan/

Last time, we looked at the benefits of doing less to support our self-care. In this episode, I tackle five of the most common misconceptions about self-care - which I've encountered from coaching and training clients over the years.  From the idea that it's just pampering or an occasional treat, to the belief that it's time-consuming, selfish, or something that can be saved for a less busy season of life.  I argue that self-care is best understood as anything done intentionally to improve your situation, and that this broader definition opens up far more practical, everyday possibilities than most people realise. To help inspire you, I also share a simple set of principles to help identify simple, meaningful ways to look after yourself, however busy life gets. Please get in touch with your questions about self-care. You can email me at 'podcast at worklifepsych dot com' or join the conversation on WorkLifeSpark.  As always, thanks for listening.  Resources for this episode Ep 126 - Self-care: The power of less https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/216/  Self-care: what is it and why does it matter? https://www.worklifepsych.com/self-care-what-is-it-and-why-does-it-matter/ Self-care: 5 mistakes to avoid https://www.worklifepsych.com/self-care-5-mistakes-to-avoid/  Join WorkLifeSpark, our online personal development community: https://www.worklifespark.com/sign-up

In this episode, we take a look at an aspect of self-care that's often overlooked: the impact of doing less, not more.  Often, when we discuss a need for self-care, my clients' minds turn to new activities, new routines... new stuff. They can easily visualise a 'need' to somehow squeeze even more into their already hectic schedules. As a result, self-care can quickly feel like a chore, not a benefit. Which is the opposite of what we're trying to achieve! Instead, I challenge my clients to identify tasks, responsibilities and events that they can delete, reschedule or step back from. By removing things from our combined workload, we give ourselves space to take a breath. This pause allows us to see things slightly differently and be a little more intentional about how we navigate our remaining commitments.  I share some simple examples of how you can bring 'the power of less' to life. Hopefully these serve as an inspiration. Remember, self-care is most helpfully thought of as anything we do intentionally to improve our situation. Sometimes, doing less is a great first step in this direction. Get in touch with your thoughts and questions - you can email me 'podcast at worklifepsych dot com' - or join the conversation over at WorkLifeSpark. There's a sign-up link below.  As always, thanks for listening! Resources for this episode 'Pause and Reflect' course details and sign-up - https://www.worklifepsych.com/PauseAndReflect  WorkLifeSpark sign-up - https://www.worklifespark.com/sign-up  Self-care: what is it and why does it matter? https://www.worklifepsych.com/self-care-what-is-it-and-why-does-it-matter/  Self-care: 5 mistakes to avoid - https://www.worklifepsych.com/self-care-5-mistakes-to-avoid/ Self-care: an intentional approach - https://www.worklifepsych.com/self-care-an-intentional-approach/  Upcoming masterclass on Self-compassion - https://www.eventbrite.co.uk/e/1990550352689?aff=oddtdtcreator

In this episode, the final of three looking at how we use our productivity tools, I discuss the humble task list.  It has the potential to bring clarity and a sense of accomplishment. At the same time, it can lead to overwhlem, confusion and a sense of failure. It's all in how we think about what the task list represents. It's one thing to equate it with a plan for the day. Quite another to equate it with our self-worth and productivity. We need to ensure we construct a task list intentionally and realistically. Understanding that we are far more than the number of items we've managed to check off on a given day.  Hence this episode's title: You are not your task list.  Get in touch with your questions by emailing 'podcast at WorkLifePsych dot com'. And, as always, thanks for listening! Resources for this episode Ep 213: The right tool for the right job - https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/213/ Ep 214: Does your schedule reflect what matters? https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/214/  Sign up for WorkLifeSpark today! https://www.worklifespark.com/sign-up  Find out more about 'Pause and Reflect' https://www.worklifepsych.com/PauseAndReflect  Ep 164: A flexible self-concept - https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/164/

Following on from last episode's exploration of intentional use of productivity tools, this episode we take some time to look at calendars. When used intentionally and with care, a calendar can provide valuable structure and a plan for investing your limited time, attention and energy. However, the calendar is instead often a source of anxiety and overwhelm.  Calendars are the tools we use to manage various commitments. In this episode, I make the distinction between the commitments we make to others and the commitments we make to ourselves. Our calendars work best when they reflect how we want to invest our time in priorities and the activities that really matter. The alternative is the overwhelm of a full calendar and a task list that almost feels like a second job.  As always, please get in touch with your questions and feedback. You can email 'podcast at worklifepsych dot com' or join the conversation over at WorkLifeSpark, our online personal development community. Thanks for listening! Resources for this episode Ep 213: The right tools for the job - https://www.worklifepsych.com/podcast/213/ Your calendar: the map is not the territory - https://www.worklifepsych.com/your-calendar-the-map-is-not-the-territory/  Join WorkLifeSpark - https://www.worklifespark.com/sign-up