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The episode opens with a quick “first instinct” test for parents and Sissy’s story of not making the sixth-grade cheerleading squad. Her mom let her be sad instead of fixing it, and that disappointment led Sissy to the leadership and mentoring that shaped her career. Drawing on growth-mindset and productive-failure research, Sissy and David explain that struggle helps kids learn, but only when we engage with the mistake instead of rescuing them too early. They suggest two questions for parents: “Is my child unsafe or just uncomfortable?” and “Whose disappointment is this?” They also share practical steps: show empathy before teaching the lesson, praise the process, help kids “fail forward,” and let your kids see you fail. The episode ends on “the power of yet,” including the “yet” of Lamentations 3. They give parents a simple framework to try this week (feel, reflect, move) and a set of questions to ask kids at dinner or in the car. Resources mentioned: Capable by Sissy Goff and David Thomas Carol Dweck’s research on growth mindset and process praise Manu Kapur’s research on productive failure (struggle first, instruction afterward) “The Power of Yet” song from Sesame Street Live . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Order our new book, Capable, here!! See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. THE BIBLE RECAP: Shop 35% off through November with code RBG at bakerbookhouse.com. CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution. QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. ADVENTURE BIBLE: Get an Adventure Bible for your child and begin reading and exploring it together to build confidence and curiosity in God’s Word https://tinyurl.com/RBGAdventureBible. HIYA: Visit hiyahealth.com/rbg for 50% off your first order. UNCOMMON GOODS: To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/raising. OUR PLACE: Stop cooking with toxic cookware, and upgrade to Our Place today. Visit fromourplace.com/RBG and use code RBG for 10% off sitewide. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Introducing BETH HOLLOWAY: The Heartbreaking Story of Natalee Holloway and Her Mother's 18-Year Fight For The Truth from On Purpose with Jay Shetty. Follow the show: On Purpose with Jay Shetty Beth Holloway, mother of Natalee Holloway, shares the full story of her 18-year search for answers after Natalee disappeared during a high school graduation trip to Aruba in 2005. She recounts the desperate first hours of the search, coming face to face with Joran van der Sloot, the corruption and dead ends that delayed justice for nearly two decades, and the 2010 extortion attempt that ultimately helped uncover the truth. Beth also opens up about the faith that sustained her through unimaginable loss and how she turned her grief into a mission to help young travelers stay safe. With Love and Gratitude, Jay Shetty Learn More. At https://chase.com/sapphirereserve Trigger Warning: The following series contains discussions of kidnapping which some viewers may find troubling. If you or someone you know is struggling, information and crisis resources are available at www.wannatalkaboutit.com JAY'S DAILY WISDOM DELIVERED STRAIGHT TO YOUR INBOX Join 900,000+ readers discovering how small daily shifts create big life change with my free newsletter. Subscribe here: https://news.jayshetty.me/subscribe Check out our Apple subscription to unlock bonus content of On Purpose! https://lnk.to/JayShettyPodcast What We Discuss: 00:00 Introduction 01:57 Who Was Natalee? 03:30 Childhood Memories And Her Nickname "Hootie" 05:10 Preparing For The Graduation Trip To Aruba 07:15 The Call That Natalee Never Made Her Flight Home 08:56 When a Mother's Instincts Take Over 13:10 Her Day Job Vs. Stepping Into Crisis Mode 14:20 The Private Jet to Aruba & First Suspect Details 17:00 A Strange Premonition 19:08 Arriving in Aruba and Finding Unexpected Support 21:00 Staying Mentally Strong During the Search 22:10 Tracking Clues To Carlos And Charlie's 25:11 Uncovering The Security Video And Joran's Identity 28:17 Confronting Joran At His Residence 33:25 False Leads and Alleged Corruption in Aruba 38:26 Using Media Pressure To Keep The Case Alive 43:10 Finding Strength Through Faith 45:13 The Frustration Of Catch-and-Release Arrests 48:30 Media Blame And Natalee's Safety Legacy 55:03 Touring High Schools To Turn Anger Into Purpose 01:01:51 Joran's 2010 Extortion Demand 01:08:27 Finally Reaching Answers And Closure 01:12:44 A Message Of Resilience And Safety Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices DISCLAIMER: Please note, this is an independent podcast episode not affiliated with, endorsed by, or produced in conjunction with the host podcast feed or any of its media entities. The views and opinions expressed in this episode are solely those of the creators and guests. For any concerns, please reach out to [email protected].

Emerson and Joy, a father and daughter, share how the bedtime stories Emerson told Joy became a children’s book set in the Land of Nuf. In it, a well-meaning Giggly named Beega puts his foot in his mouth, and his friend Dooga helps him make it right. At its heart are four questions to ask before speaking: Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? Is it clear? There’s also the “Can we get a do-over?” phrase, which makes repair feel lighter and builds resilience instead of shame. They also talk about parents modeling repair and teaching kids to “assume the best until we hear the rest.” Joy shows what that looks like with a story about her daughter’s classmate whose unkindness came from grief. Resources mentioned: Beega Gets a Do-Over by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs & Joy Eggerichs Reed Landofnuf.com Love and Respect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs Mother and Son: The Respect Effect by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs Speak Your Mind by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs Love and Respect in the Family by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs Get to the Publishing Punchline by Joy Eggerichs Reed Writing With Bernard the Baguette: A Kid’s Fun and Silly Guide to Discover the Joys of Writing by Joy Eggerichs Reed Punchline Agency (Joy’s agency) Capable by Sissy Goff and David Thomas . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Order our new book, Capable, here!! See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. THE BIBLE RECAP: Shop 35% off through November with code RBG at bakerbookhouse.com. CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution. QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. ADVENTURE BIBLE: Get an Adventure Bible for your child and begin reading and exploring it together to build confidence and curiosity in God’s Word https://tinyurl.com/RBGAdventureBible. THE ABSORPTION COMPANY: Go to absorbmore.com and enter RBG at checkout for up to 35% off your first order. COMPASSION: Visit compassion.com/rbg today to partner. JOLIE: Try Jolie risk-free for 60 days by going to jolieskinko.com/rbg. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sissy and David continue the Capable series with problem-solving, opening with a few all-too-familiar parenting “word problems” and a reminder that efficiency isn’t always the goal; capability is. They walk through five ideas from the chapter: create room for critical thinking, let kids make low-stakes decisions, ask more and instruct less, hold family meetings, and review progress. To figure out how much to help, they suggest asking “what is the least amount of help that helps this child move forward?” Their challenge for the week is to pick one recurring family problem and solve it together, and before you solve anything, ask one more question. Resources mentioned Capable by Sissy Goff and David Thomas Research on executive function and parenting (cognitive stimulation, language that helps kids think, scaffolding and autonomy support), plus a study of preschoolers linking meaningful choices to stronger executive functioning . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Order our new book, Capable, here!! See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. THE BIBLE RECAP: Shop 35% off through November with code RBG at bakerbookhouse.com. CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution. QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. ADVENTURE BIBLE: Get an Adventure Bible for your child and begin reading and exploring it together to build confidence and curiosity in God’s Word https://tinyurl.com/RBGAdventureBible. UNCOMMON GOODS: To get 15% off your next gift, go to uncommongoods.com/raising. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

After years of coaching thousands of women, Jess noticed that everyone she knows is scared, so she set out to understand fear biblically, physiologically, and practically. Her biggest takeaway is that the most scared person in the room can also be the bravest. She says naming a fear “is 90%,” and that kids need room to name their fears and also need to see their parents name their own. She tells parents to let go of the shame of over-rescuing and to remember they don’t want to save their kids from the story God has for them. She also shares a fresh reading of Eve adding “we can’t even touch it” to God’s command, and uses it to warn parents against making God sound tougher than He is. Her one simple practice is to “greet courage out loud”: when a child is shaking before a test or putting on a backpack while terrified, say back to them, “Look at you, you are so brave.” Resources mentioned: You Can’t Be Brave Until You’re Scared: A Call for Courageous Women to Face Fear, Fight Anxiety, and Awaken Holy Awe by Jess Connolly Tired of Being Tired and What Comes Next by Jess Connolly The Jess Connolly Podcast Find Jess: @jessaconnolly on social and jessconnolly.com. . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Order our new book, Capable, here!! See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The episode moves the Capable series from strengths to skills, which are things kids have to be taught and practice, like tying their shoes. Managing emotions comes first. Sissy and David ask parents to notice their own reflex when a child is upset. Are they a fixer, a matcher, a minimizer, or a regulator? They point to research on co-regulation showing that kids borrow an adult’s steadiness before they can calm themselves. From there they walk through the steps: name the feeling (“name it to tame it”), validate it without approving the behavior, and skip the lecture while a child’s “downstairs brain” is in charge. A code word chosen ahead of time and a family list of 20 calming strategies both help. One memorable example is a fifth grader who prayed through the alphabet to fall asleep. The episode ends with a “try this at home” challenge for parents to notice their own patterns and to ask their kids, “What helps your feelings not feel quite so big?” Resources mentioned: Strong and Smart by David Thomas I Am Capable by David Thomas and Sissy Goff The Daystar Dog series by David Thomas and Sissy Goff Feelings Chart Dan Siegel and Tina Payne Bryson’s “upstairs and downstairs brain” model A 2024 systematic review on parent–child co-regulation A meta-analysis of 53 studies linking parents’ emotion regulation to their children’s A brain imaging study on affect labeling (naming an emotion lowered activity in the amygdala) . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Order our new book, Capable, here!! See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution. HEYPOLO: Save 70% on your first year by going to heypolo.com/raising Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sissy and David sit down in New York with Craig Melvin to talk about his book Pops, a love letter to his father, who is now in recovery after 15 years of addiction. Craig shares how growing up with an absent dad made him and his wife Lindsay put being present first, even though they sometimes overcorrect. His reminder to his family is “if everything is special, nothing is special.” He talks about helping his kids find their people, and about how years of covering tragedy taught him that the hills and valleys are what build resilience. He hopes his kids will someday remember the awkward bedtime talks and beach walks more than the big VIP moments. Resources mentioned: Pops: Learning to Be a Son and a Father by Craig Melvin I’m Proud of You by Craig Melvin Glass Half Full with Craig Melvin Dads Got This! Craig Melvin’s show . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Order our new book, Capable, here!! See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution. THE ABSORPTION COMPANY: Visit absorbmore.com and use code RBG for up to 35% off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Gratitude can sound like the soft strength in the capability series. Sissy and David argue it’s an essential one, because it teaches kids to hold two realities at once instead of pretending the hard thing isn’t there. They warn against “you should be grateful” responses that shut down emotions and can leave kids feeling shame. Instead, they encourage parents to let feelings have room before helping kids “widen the lens.” Sissy shares how her family’s “wow” practice, borrowed from Kathryn Price’s “delight” finger, now has four-year-old Whit stopping to notice joy at Disney. The hosts offer concrete ideas: name gratitude out loud, ask fresh questions, use “and” instead of “but,” make a gratitude album, write a gratitude letter, and do a gratitude scavenger hunt. They close with a challenge for this week: ask your family “What was hard today, and what was good today?” Then just listen. Resources mentioned: Episode 359: A Roadmap to Technology (and Fun) for Families with Catherine Price . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Order our new book, Capable, here!! See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution. HIYA: Visit hiyahealth.com/rbg for 50% off your first order. OUR PLACE: Stop cooking with toxic cookware, and upgrade to Our Place today. Visit fromourplace.com/RBG and use code RBG for 10% off sitewide. WAYFAIR: Get organized, refreshed, and ready for the holidays for way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

As part of the Strengths, Skills, and Strategies podcast season, NBC's Vicky Nguyen shares her family's escape from Vietnam by boat and how growing up as the perpetual "new kid" built her grit. Now she and her husband "manufacture hardship" for their three daughters, like having their middle daughter tell her Taekwondo master herself that she was quitting, because "I can't pedal the bike for you and expect you to learn how to ride it." She also explains why she praises effort over achievement and how parents can help kids face scary news: ask questions first, don't over-explain, and model calm. Resources mentioned: Boat Baby by Vicky Nguyen The AI documentary Vicky recommends, called "How I Became an Apocaloptimist" . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Order our new book, Capable, here!! See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Sissy and David explore how kids build perseverance by sticking with hard things, and how parents can stay close without stepping in to rescue them. David tells the story of a freshman cross-country runner who finished her first meet long after everyone else, cheered in by teammates who ran back onto the course for her. They share practical ideas: let kids be beginners, look for small everyday chances to keep going, and ask whether it's your child or you who needs relief. They close with Romans 5 and a challenge to tell your kids one of your own unpolished perseverance stories this week. Resources mentioned: Capable by Sissy Goff and David Thomas Episode 187: Parenting and Grandparenting with Love and Laughter with Anne Lamott Research on Person versus process praise and criticism: implications for contingent self-worth and coping by Carol Dweck Research on How Adults' Actions, Outcomes, and Testimony Affect Preschoolers' Persistence . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Order our new book, Capable, here!! See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution. HIYA: Visit hiyahealth.com/rbg for 50% off your first order.OUR PLACE: Visit fromourplace.com/rbg and use code RBG for 10% off sitewide, Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Amy Julia Becker explains why measuring kids against developmental milestones makes children with disabilities look incapable, and why asking "what's the next small step toward growth?" shows how capable they really are. She describes letting love "wrap around" fear and helping kids feel wanted, valued, and needed. She also shares how person-centered goal-setting turned 12-year-old Penny's dream of living with friends in Chicago into "Mondays, Penny does her own laundry." Her advice for overwhelmed parents is to pick one overwhelming thing, ask "who could help me?", and take one small step toward that person. Resources mentioned: Capable by Sissy Goff and David Thomas Amy Julia Becker's books: To Be Made Well, White Picket Fences, Small Talk, A Good and Perfect Gift Amy Julia's podcasts: Take the Next Step with Amy Julia Becker and Reimagining the Good Life Take the Next Step: When Grief Has No Words: Helping Kids With Disabilities Process Loss • Sissy Goff, LPC-MHSP Raising Boys and Girls Episode 226: Reimagining Family Life with Disability with Amy Julia Becker Hope Heals Disability Ministry Network Alliance for Disability Justice and Ethics in Reproductive Genetics . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Order our new book, Capable, here!! See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution.THE ABSORPTION COMPANY: Visit absorbmore.com and use code RBG for up to 35% off your first order. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Sissy and David open with a "How Flexible Are You Really?" quiz and explain that flexibility is what happens after disappointment. They say they've never seen kids, or parents, struggle with it this much, and they connect rigidity to anxiety's need for certainty and to the "control monster." They share four ways to build flexibility: name it, make it fun with low-stakes practice like a flexibility jar or a family points challenge, reward the practice, and model it yourself. They close with the idea that being capable means trusting yourself to find plan B. Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Order our new book, Capable, here!! See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution. COMPASSION INTERNATIONAL: See where your one yes could lead. Visit compassion.com/rbg today! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Shefali Tsabary, author of Raising Conscious Daughters and Raising Conscious Sons, explains how technology targets boys through their drive for achievement and girls through their need for approval. She describes girls struggling with perfectionism beneath polished exteriors, and boys caught between a culture that treats masculinity as a bad word and a manosphere that turns it into a cartoon. Instead of starting with a digital detox, she urges parents to build "havens" of connection: small shared tasks, side-by-side movement with boys, and seeing girls as their ordinary selves. She closes by reminding girls that they don't have to fit in to belong, because "sovereignty is her liberation." Resources mentioned: Raising Conscious Daughters by Dr. Shefali Tsabary Raising Conscious Sons by Dr. Shefali Tsabary Dr. Shefali's website Dr. Shefali's Instagram Dr. Shefali's courses and her five-month conscious parenting coaching institute . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Order our new book, Capable, here!! See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. HEY POLO: Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to heypolo.com/raising or use code RAISING and get 70% off your first year! AG1: Go to DrinkAG.com/RBG and get a free Immune Support Bundle, including a bottle of Omega-3 fish oil and a bottle of Vitamin D3K2, with your first subscription order of AG1 Next Gen or AG1 Pro. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Kicking off a new stretch of their Capable series, Sissy Goff and David Thomas explore the strength of competence, distinguishing it from confidence: confidence says "I think I can," competence says "I've done hard things before," and it's built by practicing through real, manageable struggles rather than being rescued from them. They introduce "the capable pause" — asking whether a situation is truly unsafe or just uncomfortable before stepping in illustrated by David's story of coaching his daughter Lily through a recurring conflict with a classmate instead of solving it for her. The episode closes with a challenge to notice one moment this week where you're tempted to intervene, pause, and ask your child, "What do you think you could try?" Resources mentioned: Capable by David Thomas and Sissy Goff I Guess I Haven't Learned That Yet by Shauna Niequist Romans 5, Romans 8, and John 16 — scripture passages on struggle, perseverance, and character. . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Order our new book, Capable, here!! See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. SEEDS: Download the free SEEDS app and take one small step today. Plant your first seed and see what God can grow. HEY POLO: Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to heypolo.com/raising or use code RAISING and get 70% off your first year! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Blake Brewer joins Sissy and David to tell the story of watching his father drown in Hawaii when he was 19, and how a letter his dad had written him, discovered in his briefcase hours later,  anchored him through grief and inspired the Legacy Letter Challenge. He shares what helped him grieve well, from adults who gave him space rather than pressure to still letting himself cry decades later, and reflects on the ripple effects of his dad's words now that he's a husband and father. He outlines the letter-writing process he teaches (apology, love, wisdom, memories) and how it's grown into corporate team-building work with companies like Walmart. He closes by urging listeners not to leave things unsaid, noting that 1 in 11 kids lose a parent or sibling by age 18. Resources mentioned: Here’s a link to sign up for a free 90-minute guided Legacy Letter Experience with Blake Brewer. Legacy Letter Challenge / legacyletter.com — Blake's organization and website, with free resources, a starter kit, and live 90-minute sessions on writing a legacy letter. Helping Kids Through Grief by Sissy Goff . . . . . .  Sign up to receive the⁠ bi-⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠monthly newsletter⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ to keep up to date with where David and Sissy are speaking, where they are taco'ing, PLUS conversation starters for you and your family to share! Order our new book, Capable, here!! See our speaking dates, purchase books and check out our courses here.. . . . . .  If you would like to partner with Raising Boys and Girls as a podcast sponsor, fill out our⁠ ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠Advertise With Us⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ form. CHRISTIAN HEALTHSHARE MINISTRIES: Take charge of your healthcare by visiting chministries.org/solution. BOLL & BRANCH: Get 15% off plus free shipping on your first set of sheets at Bollandbranch.com/rbg⁠. Exclusions apply. QUINCE: Go to ⁠Quince.com/rbg⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. SEEDS: Download the free SEEDS app and take one small step today. Plant your first seed and see what God can grow. HEY POLO: Protect your loved ones without spying on them. Go to heypolo.com/raising or use code RAISING and get 70% off your first year! Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices