Advertise on podcast: Pardon the Mess with Courtney DeFeo - Christian Motherhood, Biblical Parenting, Raising Christian Kids

Scarlet Hiltibidal shares her personal journey of dealing with sadness and how her faith helped her find hope and healing. She discusses practical ways for moms to handle their emotions while raising happy kids, even when their hearts feel heavy. In this episode, you’ll hear about dealing with sadness and emotional struggles as a mom, the importance of bringing feelings to God through prayer, how biblical figures like David model emotional honesty, balancing genuine sadness with joyful parenting, the significance of community and Scripture in healing, and practical steps for moms to process grief and joy. Scripture Focus: Psalm 34:17-18Romans 12:9-15 Connect with Scarlet If this episode encouraged you, would you take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another mom who's trying to faithfully point her kids to Jesus. You can connect with Scarlet on Instagram and find her books, Bible studies, and more encouragement at scarlethiltibidal.com Scarlet’s Instagram Scarlet’s Facebook Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Website Christian Parenting Instagram Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Resources: Christmas Gift guide Beyond Fit Operation Christmas Child WinShape Camps Carpool Conversations Podcast Sign up for Morning Minute Get your copy of our latest prayer journal and join Scarlet each Monday to listen to guided prayer and reflection that follows the journal: Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress and use my code AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS for a great deal: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Don’t be deceived, my dear brothers and sisters. Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. He chose to give us birth through the word of truth, that we might be a kind of firstfruits of all he created. (James 1:16–18) This week, let’s pray that our kids: • See God’s goodness everywhere in their life. • Respond to God and his goodness with thankfulness and humility. This episode continues our series through Christian Parenting's Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation, a 38-week prayer journal to help you pray intentionally for your kids all school year long. Grab your own printed copy here, and join us every Monday through the end of May for guided prayer and reflection. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress and use my code AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS for a great deal: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Parenting little kids can feel like an endless cycle of correction. You’re saying “no,” breaking up fights, reminding, redirecting, and wondering if you’re doing any of it right. In this episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal talks about the exhaustion of feeling like the “bad cop” and the temptation to believe that if we just parent well enough, we can make our kids patient, kind, self-controlled, and spiritually mature. But the fruit of the Spirit isn’t something we can manufacture in our children. It’s the work of God in them over time. Special thanks to Jacie Laweson, who joined Scarlet in this week’s Messy Mom Moment, talking about the realities of parenting littles and how impactful finding a mentor mom has been! If you’re in the thick of little kid chaos and wondering, Does this ever end? This episode is for you. You will not always feel this way. Scripture Focus: Galatians 2:22-23 Connect with Scarlet If this episode encouraged you, would you take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another mom who's trying to faithfully point her kids to Jesus. You can connect with Scarlet on Instagram and find her books, Bible studies, and more encouragement at scarlethiltibidal.com Scarlet’s Instagram Scarlet’s Facebook Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Website Christian Parenting Instagram Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Resources: Christmas Gift guide Operation Christmas Child NiRV Question & Answer Bible for Kids WinShape Camps Carpool Conversations Podcast Sign up for Morning Minute Get your copy of our latest prayer journal and join Scarlet each Monday to listen to guided prayer and reflection that follows the journal! Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress and use my code AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS for a great deal: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

When tempted, no one should say, “God is tempting me.” For God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone; but each person is tempted when they are dragged away by their own evil desire and enticed. Then, after desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grown, gives birth to death. (James 1:13–15) This week, let’s pray that: • Our kids have a faith strong enough to flee from temptation. • Our kids have a heart that turns to God when they fall. • We, as parents, would also be quick to forgive and to model for our kids the joy of regular confession. This episode continues our series through Christian Parenting's Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation, a 38-week prayer journal to help you pray intentionally for your kids all school year long. Grab your own printed copy here, and join us every Monday through the end of May for guided prayer and reflection. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress and use my code AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS for a great deal: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What does it actually mean to teach our kids to repent? In this episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal talks about why repentance is one of the most important things we can teach our children, and why it has to be about so much more than getting them to say “sorry.” We want our kids to stop hiding and defending sin, and rather to confess it honestly, and turn toward Jesus. Scarlet shares from her own experience as a mom, along with Scripture’s vision for repentance, to help us think about how we can model it in our homes. She talks about the difference between an apology and genuine repentance, why our kids need to see us repent too, and how confession can lead to the joy, peace, freedom, and nearness to Jesus we were made for. Special thanks to Caroline Saunders, who shared so much wisdom in today’s Messy Mom Moment. Caroline Saunders is a writer, Bible teacher, pastor's wife, and mother of three who believes in taking Jesus seriously and being un-serious about nearly everything else. Learn more about what the Bible says about clothing in Caroline's recent tradebook, But What Do I Wear?: The Biblical Story of Clothing, How It Helps Us Think About Getting Dressed, and Approximately Seventeen Stories I May Regret Telling. Find her writing, resources, and ridiculousness at WriterCaroline.com and on Instagram @writercaroline.  Scripture Focus: 2 Corinthians 7:8-11Isaiah 6 Connect with Scarlet If this episode encouraged you, would you take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another mom who's trying to faithfully point her kids to Jesus. You can connect with Scarlet on Instagram and find her books, Bible studies, and more encouragement at scarlethiltibidal.com Scarlet’s Instagram Scarlet’s Facebook Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Website Christian Parenting Instagram Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Resources: Caroline Saunders’ latest book:  But What Do I Wear?: The Biblical Story of Clothing, How It Helps Us Think About Getting Dressed, and Approximately Seventeen Stories I May Regret Telling Podcast episode Scarlet mentioned with “the Elizabeth story!” Book: You’re the Worst Person in the World Christmas Gift guide Midnight Mom Devotional Bible NiRV Question & Answer Bible for Kids WinShape Camps Carpool Conversations Podcast Sign up for Morning Minute Get your copy of our latest prayer journal and join Scarlet each Monday to listen to guided prayer and reflection that follows the journal! Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress and use my code AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS for a great deal: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12) This week, let’s pray that our kids: • Keep their eyes focused on Jesus. • Rely on him to help them persevere through all of life’s trials. This episode continues our series through Christian Parenting's Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation, a 38-week prayer journal to help you pray intentionally for your kids all school year long. Grab your own printed copy here, and join us every Monday through the end of May for guided prayer and reflection. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress and use my code AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS for a great deal: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What does it look like to love our kids well when they are all so different from each other? What does it look like to pursue community when you’re raising an only child? In this episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal talks about siblings, only children, adoption, personality differences, and the ways God uses our families to teach us how to love.  In this episode we talked about how… Genuine love comes from being loved by Jesus, not from effort alone.Parents should model prayer and dependence on God.Children are always growing and not fully mature, so we can’t expect them to have loving each other well down pat. We are all growing into Christ-likeness.Love and patience in parenting are rooted in understanding God's love for us.Practical parenting involves asking God for guidance and leading by example. A special shoutout to Stori Nix, who joined in for the Messy Mom Moment to share what it’s like to raise an only child and what the Lord has taught her through it. Scripture Focus Romans 12:9–18 Connect with Scarlet If this episode encouraged you, would you take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another mom who's trying to faithfully point her kids to Jesus. You can connect with Scarlet on Instagram and find her books, Bible studies, and more encouragement at scarlethiltibidal.com Scarlet’s Instagram Scarlet’s Facebook Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Website Christian Parenting Instagram Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Resources: Christmas Gift guide All Kinds of Weather by Abbey Wedgeworth NiRV Question & Answer Bible for Kids WinShape Camps Carpool Conversations Podcast Sign up for Morning Minute Get your copy of our latest prayer journal and join Scarlet each Monday to listen to guided prayer and reflection that follows the journal! Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress and use my code AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS for a great deal: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Believers in humble circumstances ought to take pride in their high position. But the rich should take pride in their humiliation—since they will pass away like a wild flower. For the sun rises with scorching heat and withers the plant; its blossom falls and its beauty is destroyed. In the same way, the rich will fade away even while they go about their business. (James 1:9–11) This week, let’s pray that our kids: • Know and embrace their identity in Christ. • Live humbly because of their faith, not valuing possessions over people. This episode continues our series through Christian Parenting's Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation, a 38-week prayer journal to help you pray intentionally for your kids all school year long. Grab your own printed copy here, and join us every Monday through the end of May for guided prayer and reflection. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress and use my code AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS for a great deal: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

As moms, we want to protect our kids from pain, disappointment, failure, and suffering. But where is the line between helping our kids and keeping them from learning, growing, and trusting God for themselves? In this episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal talks about the tension between stepping in and letting our kids experience hard things. Special thanks to our guest on today’s Messy Mom Moment, Christine Hoover (more about her and where you can find her books and Bible studies below!) Scripture Focus:  Psalm 121John 16:33 Learn more about Christine Hoover! Christine Hoover serves as the women’s ministry associate at The Austin Stone’s Northwes tcongregation. She has written seven books, including Messy Beautiful Friendship, How to Thrive as a Pastor’s Wife, and You Are Not Forgotten, as well as two Bible studies on Matthew and 2 Corinthians. Christine is married to Kyle, a pastor at The Austin Stone, and they have three boys. You can find her at her website. Connect with Scarlet If this episode encouraged you, would you take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another mom who's trying to faithfully point her kids to Jesus. You can connect with Scarlet on Instagram and find her books, Bible studies, and more encouragement at scarlethiltibidal.com Scarlet’s Instagram Scarlet’s Facebook Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Website Christian Parenting Instagram Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Resources: Scarlet’s Favorite Christine Hoover book: You are Not Forgotten Don't Stress Talking Sex NiRV Question & Answer Bible for Kids Raising Spiritually Strong Kids WinShape Camps Carpool Conversations Podcast Christmas Gift guide Sign up for Morning Minute Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation (Get your copy of our latest prayer journal and join Scarlet each Monday to listen to guided prayer and reflection that follows the journal.) Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress and use my code AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS for a great deal: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double- minded and unstable in all they do. (James 1:6–8) This week, let’s pray that our kids: • Can keep their minds singularly focused on the Lord and all the good things he does for us. • Are confident that God will give them what they truly need when they ask in faith. This episode continues our series through Christian Parenting's Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation, a 38-week prayer journal to help you pray intentionally for your kids all school year long. Grab your own printed copy here, and join us every Monday through the end of May for guided prayer and reflection. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress and use my code AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS for a great deal: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What do you do when motherhood feels like it’s all on you? In this episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal offers Scripture-based encouragement for moms who feel alone in the work of raising their kids. Whether you’re a single mom, a military spouse whose husband is deployed, or simply walking through a season where you feel like you’re carrying more than you can handle, you don’t have to carry it by yourself. Scarlet talks with Rossi Tidwell about her experience navigating motherhood while her husband is deployed, the unique challenges of parenting without your spouse beside you, and the ways God is meeting her in this season. Together, they talk about the importance of building a community, asking for help, praying honestly, and trusting that God is present and providing even when circumstances feel overwhelming. Thank you, Rossi, for joining the show today! And listeners, please be praying for her family this year! Scripture Focus: The scripture focus for this episode was an encouragement to study God’s Word fully and in context, as well as an encouragement to turn to the psalms Connect with Scarlet If this episode encouraged you, would you take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another mom who's trying to faithfully point her kids to Jesus. You can connect with Scarlet on Instagram and find her books, Bible studies, and more encouragement at scarlethiltibidal.com Scarlet’s Instagram Scarlet’s Facebook Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Website Christian Parenting Instagram Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Resources: All Kinds of Weather by Abbey Wedgeworth Sign up for Morning Minute Get your copy of our latest prayer journal and join Scarlet each Monday (beginning September 14th) to listen to guided prayer and reflection that follows the journal: Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress and use my code AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS for a great deal: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. (James 1:5) This week, let’s pray that our kids: • Learn to seek God’s wisdom in every situation. • Grow in trust, starting with the little things so that when big decisions come they’re ready to rely on him fully. This episode continues our series through Christian Parenting's Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation, a 38-week prayer journal to help you pray intentionally for your kids all school year long. Grab your own printed copy here, and join us every Monday through the end of May for guided prayer and reflection. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress and use my code AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS for a great deal: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode, Scarlet Hiltibidal talks honestly about the overwhelm that can come with being both a mom and a working woman. Instead of offering another list of ways to do it all, Scarlet points us to the grace of God, the goodness of our limits, and the freedom that comes from trusting Him with what we cannot control. Together, we’ll consider how to recognize when we’re carrying more than God has asked us to carry, how to rest in His provision, and how to stop borrowing tomorrow’s worries. Because we don’t have to be everything for everyone, we can receive God’s grace for today and trust Him with the rest. Special thanks to Christian Parenting’s own Steph Thurling (who hosts The Christian Parenting Podcast) for sharing her experience as a mom who works!  Scripture Focus: Matthew 6:25-34 Connect with Scarlet If this episode encouraged you, would you take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another mom who's trying to faithfully point her kids to Jesus. You can connect with Scarlet on Instagram and find her books, Bible studies, and more encouragement at scarlethiltibidal.com. Scarlet’s Instagram Scarlet’s Facebook Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Website Christian Parenting Instagram Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Resources: Check out The Christian Parenting Podcast with Steph Thurling The Melody of Grace Sign up for Morning Minute Get your copy of our latest prayer journal and join Scarlet each Monday (beginning September 14th) to listen to guided prayer and reflection that follows the journal: Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress and use my code AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS for a great deal: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2–4) This week, let’s pray that: • Our kids view trials and struggles as an opportunity to lean on God and grow closer to him. • We resist the temptation to fix every problem in our kids’ (or our own) lives. • Instead of giving our kids an easy path, God gives them joy in the middle of their struggles. This episode continues our series through Christian Parenting's Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation, a 38-week prayer journal to help you pray intentionally for your kids all school year long. Grab your own printed copy here, and join us every Monday through the end of May for guided prayer and reflection. Pardon the Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress and use my code AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS for a great deal: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

In this episode of Pardon the Mess, Scarlet Hiltibidal brings on her friend, Laura Jenz, to talk honestly about both sides of foster care and adoption: the joy, the grief, the attachment, the loss, the unexpected relationships, and the ways God meets us right in the middle of all of it. Laura has three biological children, fostered several, and then adopted two out of foster care. Thank you, Laura, for sharing your story! Our dream for this episode is that it would demystify the process and be a resource for moms interested in stepping into foster care and adoption, whether that be in their own families, or supporting families in their lives who are caring for these children. In this episode, we talk about: The beauty and brokenness that come with foster care and adoptionThe grief and loss that are part of every adoption storyLoving a child while recognizing that their story began long before they came into your familyWhy foster and adoptive parents need the support of their communitiesWhat the gospel tells us about being welcomed into God's familyScripture Focus:  Romans 8:22-23Ephesians 1:4-5James 1:27 Connect with Scarlet If this episode encouraged you, would you take a minute to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with another mom who's trying to faithfully point her kids to Jesus. You can connect with Scarlet on Instagram and find her books, Bible studies, and more encouragement at scarlethiltibidal.com. Scarlet’s Instagram Scarlet’s Facebook Connect with Pardon The Mess: Christian Parenting Website Christian Parenting Instagram Prefer video? This episode is on YouTube! Resources: The Melody of Grace GO Bible Sign up for Morning Minute Get your copy of our latest prayer journal and join Scarlet each Monday (beginning September 14th) to listen to guided prayer and reflection that follows the journal: Faith in Action: Prayers from James for the Next Generation Pardon The Mess is a part of the Christian Parenting Podcast Network. For more information visit www.ChristianParenting.org Our Sponsors: * Check out Avocado Green Mattress and use my code AvocadoGreenMattress.com/MESS for a great deal: https://www.avocadogreenmattress.com Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy