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This is a story about loss - In memory of Kira Johnson Charles welcomed fatherhood with joy. He and Kira were so excited to start their family, and their second pregnancy would bring them back-to-back boys. The first pregnancy had been healthy, but ended in an emergency surgical birth as Baby Charles experienced heart decelerations that became concerning. Welcoming their second child during a transition from Atlanta to Los Angeles provided an opportunity for them to seek world-class care. Kira and Baby Langston were healthy throughout the pregnancy. Kira and Charles took intentional steps to select a provider that met their needs. They opted for a scheduled surgical birth with a provider who had excellent reviews and had privileges at Cedar Sinai Hospital. Their doctor assured them that this was the safest approach to delivery due to her history. A Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC) was never presented as an option.  Their provider, Dr. Kasanji introduced them to Dr. Naim as a backup provider for the procedure. Spoiler alert - It was a racket. Dr. Kasanji could no longer stand for surgeries continued to accept patients, billed for prenatal care, and  then transferred their care to an incompetent, negligible, and callous butcher. We said what we said.  *The following timeline is not exact, but it’s not exaggerated.  2:00 pm - Surgical birth began. 2:02 pm Incision complete on a patient with a previous cesarean scar. Cue internal bleeding. Just before 4:00 pm - Signs of hemorrhaging. Charles rings the alarm. 5:00 pm - CT Scan ordered STAT 6:00 pm - No CT Scan. Charles rings the alarm. 6:15 pm - Declared Surgical Emergency 7:00 pm - No CT scan. Kira is shivering uncontrollably.  8:00 pm - No CT scan. Charles rings the alarm. The CT never happened. Charles rings the alarm! 9:00 pm - Your wife just isn’t a priority right now. 10:00 pm - No CT scan.  11:00 pm - No CT scan.  12:00 am - Baby, I’m scared.  12:00 am - “blind surgery” to find the bleed. It’s not a big deal. She’ll be back in 15 minutes. Incision. Crashed. Condition is critical, continuing to work on her.  Bring my wife back.  In a blink of an eye Kira was gone. There is nothing routine about not surviving a non-emergent surgical birth. The care, compassion, and skill that Kira deserved from her medical team never showed up.  There’s a biblical verse that people quote when faced with loss, “Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” It’s intended to provide encouragement for a person to move forward. But what if it was intended to give permission to grieve. “For a night,” gives the illusion of temporality. Night is symbolic of darkness and death. Could it be, “Weeping may endure for darkness or weeping may endure for a death. Grief has cycles, it does not end. But joy comes in the morning. Joy comes in the light. It’s the grief cycle of darkness and light - night and morning.  Charles Johnson shared his birth story that ended in the tragic, senseless, and avoidable death of his wife, Kira Dixon Johnson. Kira was a healthy 30-year-old woman in her second pregnancy when she trusted her vetted doctor and the reputation of an accomplished hospital system to ensure safe delivery of her child and her recovery. A rushed surgical birth that nicked her bladder caused internal bleeding; she lost her life after a series of pleas for support when she showed signs of hemorrhaging. Charles describes the formula that accompanies nearly every story of a Black woman losing her life in childbirth as, “We expressed our concerns, our concerns were dismissed or delayed, and by the time they did something, it was too late.”  The attending doctor, Dr. Naim, was later found negligent by the California Medical Board. Charles was inspired to keep fighting for better care and accountability. He founded 4Kira4Moms as a force multiplier in spreading the message of systemic change in medical care. This includes better care provider training, transparency, and accountability. The disproportionate impact of maternal mortality on Black women is at the center of his legislative advocacy, better doula and midwifery support, and increased awareness and education among fathers and non-birthing parents. Charles believes that revolutionary care  is that there has to be a fundamental standard of care in this country for all birthing people and doctors, midwives, whoever is performing these services, and who's getting paid for these services, their compensation needs to be tied to their ability to meet that standard period. Charles brought their baby home without Kira. He has faced fatherhood headfirst, allowing his sons to be his guiding force. They sustain him. They are the tools in his mental health toolbox, along with consistent therapy. He works for Kira's legacy and the future of change. She’d burn it all down. Charles has lit the match. Resources: 4 Kira 4 Moms | nonprofit on a mission to eradicate maternal mortality.

This story includes loss - in memory of Ernest Levert Jr. To be held is an embrace. To hold is to be responsible for something or someone.  Several characteristics define a community, including shared identity, interaction, shared purpose, shared norms and values, and support systems. This helps foster a sense of belonging and collective action among its members. The premise of ubuntu, "I am because you are," involves recognizing our shared humanity, practicing empathy, and acting in ways that benefit others.  Birth Stories in Color is a community. In this space, we hold each other. Most days, we can access our email or social media accounts and be greeted by someone who wants to be held. We paused… and you understood. Life happened. We witnessed the unfolding of one of our own. We let it breathe. Then we opened the door. We offered to hold. Then we held her. We offered to hold it or share it. She offered it to you… We met Ivory and Ernest together for the first time in 2021. They shared their miscarriage and the birth journey of their daughter, Zamya. Now in 2025, Ivory shared their story without her partner’s physical presence, and we welcomed his spirit in.   A beautiful surprise of a second pregnancy between Ivory and Ernest was met with conflicting ideas about the timing and the physical and mental adjustments. A few weeks into the pregnancy, gratitude and excitement replaced Ivory’s early misgivings. Parenting a toddler while pregnant proved to be more of a challenge than Ivory anticipated. She laid the groundwork for a healthy pregnancy and prepared for a homebirth this time. Midwifery care, additional care with an obstetrician, chiropractic care, and regular massages allowed her to feel at ease as they prepared for birth.  Towards the end of the pregnancy at 34 weeks, Ernest experienced a severe headache that led them to take a trip to the emergency room. He was sent home without a diagnosis. About a week later, he experienced a catastrophic aneurysm rupture while visiting his favorite coffee shop. He was rushed to the hospital. The prognosis was difficult as the doctors could not offer answers, but they explored all of the options. In those early hours, Ivory started to see gestures of care and intention moving through her community. She was faced with holding life in her womb, raising life in her home, and the fragility of life holding on in the hospital. She held on as she was held.  Labor came. She prepared her space with affirmations, photos of her and Ernest filled the space, a friend facetimed from Ernest’s hospital room, and everyone on her birth team followed her lead. Baby Zenith was born peacefully at home. Postpartum came with some ease as she was nurtured at home. Ivory struggled more emotionally with balancing joy and sadness. The hospital supported their family by moving Ernest to an area that would allow the baby to come with Ivory during visits. Ivory shared her experience managing care for herself, her children, and her husband. She attributes her practice of gratitude as a source of strength and community care through it all.  Ernest Levert Jr. joined the ancestors on January 8, 2025. Resources: Eliza Kay | life coach and Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) Kelli Blinn | Columbus, OH doula and educator

Javana’s birth experience taught her some important lessons about self-advocacy and the current structure of maternal health in the United States. The gaps in education about options and the variance in how providers operate through the perinatal process led her down a road of challenges and fear.  Over thirty hours of labor started with mild, irregular contractions and pieces of her mucus plug releasing. Javana experienced irregular labor patterns that kept her home until her water broke. That shifted her mindset to watching the clock and did not feel like she her labor was intense enough to be in active labor. She attended her scheduled doctor's appointment and she was 2 cm dilated. Her doctors advised her to go to the hospital later in the day and suggested mid-afternoon. Arriving at the hospital led Javana down the cascade of interventions that started with an IV against her wishes. Labor started to feel isolating in that she felt alone and unsupported by her nursing team. Eventually, Javana accepted more interventions than she originally intended and an epidural helped her get some rest after being in labor for so long. Her most compassionate caregiver was the anesthesiologist, as he listened to her and talked her through the challenges of placing her epidural. After that the baby had some heart decelerations that concerned the care team. Javana was exhausted by the entire experience and she consented to a surgical birth.  After a challenging birth and hospital experience, Javana chose to honor herself in her motherhood with experiences of joy. She feels prepared to embark on her second birth with more  knowledge and understanding of what could be.  Resources: Tinyhood | online parenting classes The Birth Hour | birth story podcast Evidence Based Birth | online childbirth resource All About Pregnancy & Birth Podcast | parenting podcast

The year 2020 will forever be etched in the minds of those who lived to tell the tale. Oh, the stories we will tell. The smoke and mirrors were dispersed and the United States revealed its true self. We bore witness to Riot, after Riot, after Riot. The revolution appeared to be televised after all. But deep in our communities the true revolution was brewing. Many Black women and birthing people continued to give birth despite the headlines, the statistics, and the odds stacked against them. But they didn’t just give birth; they gave birth how they wanted, where they wanted, and focused on what was most important to them.  A surprise pregnancy anchored Chris and Raquel’s growing family and allowed them to sway but not break during an uncertain time. Raquel entered the pregnancy unemployed due to a hiring freeze, from the shutdown, that kept her from starting her new position. Chris became the sole provider as they moved forward with the pregnancy.  The first few weeks of pregnancy brought about two different mental shifts. Anxiety filled Raquel as she continued to apply for jobs and manage the COVID-19 pandemic while pregnant. The isolation was challenging but allowed for a slower pace and opportunities to be introspective. Chris had a more challenging experience with his employer and managing how he would navigate the birth and postpartum period. He did not have paternity leave and intended to take leave without pay. The thought of it was scary as he knew he would be bucking the system.  The Williams chose to keep their pregnancy to themselves aside from their parents. Their birth plans were kept under wraps and allowed them to keep out the noise, opinions, and outside stressors. Chris and Raquel chose a homebirth with a midwife and a doula. They utilized their resources and access to do it their way. Raquel dove into research on birth and parenting. Chris had the mentality of being ready when the time came. He found himself focused on trying to go against the negative stereotypes of Black fathers.  Holistic care equipped Raquel with education, mental fortitude, and an understanding of what childbirth could include. When she started to feel the small ripples of early labor she contacted her birth team which included her midwife, doula, and birth photographer. Chris was spending the day attending graduation ceremonies for his students. Raquel told Chris he was fine to go and she knew it would be fine. They had a late dinner but didn’t set up the birthing tub because it was too late in the day. The waves were not close enough for her to think that she was in active labor. She checked in with her midwife and she told her to use her discernment. Raquel took a Tylenol PM and they enjoyed a movie and facials until she fell asleep. Around four in the morning, Raquel stated that she had to poop. They went down together, Chris could see her from the door, and as Raquel made a maneuver he said, “I don’t think that’s poop.” Chris was scared that the baby had died, due to the shape and stillness of her head. Meanwhile, Raquel was in a calm, zen state as she assured Chris the baby was ok. They were able to Facetime their midwife to manage the delivery of the baby. Chris caught their baby with a nuchal cord and unwrapped it and placed the baby on Raquel’s chest. The midwife entered the house shortly after. Dani and the birth photographer joined them shortly afterward for postpartum support and photography.  Immediately postpartum, they walked back down the hall with their baby. The experience of having their team come to them and the care that was provided for them had them in awe. Raquel believes that everything we need to have children… we already have it. We’ve been having babies like this forever.

Our guest, CEO of Emagine Solutions Technology Courtney Williams, is the creator of The Journey Pregnancy App. The app enables patients to vital signs during pregnancy and then transmits this information in real-time and creates a record. Beyond that it issues a call to action for users to contact their providers when they enter vitals that are out of bounds based on ACOG standards. This technology was developed after Courtney experienced Postpartum Preeclampsia, a rare condition that occurs when you have high blood pressure and excess protein in your urine soon after childbirth. She was already working in maternal health technology. Courtney’s pregnancy started in 2019; she gave birth at the height of the first wave of the pandemic in 2020. The pregnancy started well; she ate right and worked out daily. But the gym access stopped due to the pandemic - unfortunately, this was a major stress reliever for Courtney. She also utilized acupuncture with a naturopathic provider. Eventually, she lost access to that support due to growing concerns due to the pandemic. It had been helpful for morning sickness; this was another hit to her emotional support. A week before the childbirth, Courtney's son measured big and they were scheduled for a surgical birth; which she was ok with because it eased her uncertainty. Unfortunately, the hospital would not allow her doula to be present. Courtney’s husband was her sole support during the birth and everything went well as they welcomed their son. In the hours and days after the birth, her body started swelling. Courtney presented with a headache and pronounced chest pain five days postpartum. She attempted to contact her provider but did not get a response; she decided to go to the emergency room, where she was diagnosed with Postpartum Preeclampsia. After returning home, she needed to report to her doctor’s office multiple days in a week for blood pressure readings. This brought about challenges in their breastfeeding/pumping journey. Courtney was surprised that there wasn't technology to ease the challenges for new parents to go to frequent appointments during the early phases of postpartum. We will save ourselves. We have everything we need within ourselves to rebuild birth better. Being active participants in our care, engaging providers who acknowledge and respect our voices, and equipping ourselves with innate knowledge and an understanding of how our unique bodies respond to pregnancy are key components in creating safer, joy-filled birth experiences.  Resources: The Journey Pregnancy App | software app that enables patients to track vital signs in pregnancy and transmits this information to providers in real time Emagine Solutions Technology | tackling the U.S. maternal health crisis with remote patient monitoring for pregnancy care Health in her Hue | a digital platform that connects Black women and women of color to culturally competent and sensitive healthcare providers, and offers health information and content Black Maternal Health Center of Excellence | provides maternity care & support in Los Angeles County Wolomi App | digital community that offers support to women of color to improve maternal health outcomes SHERO | online prenatal program Central Phoenix OBGYN | Dr. Sharon Thompson - supportive pregnancy care

Meeting Emoni and listening to her pregnancy and birth reminds one of the classic interview of a young Serena Williams when the interviewer asked her repeatedly why she thought she was going to win her match. Her father Richard Williams interrupted the interview and told the reporter to “leave that alone.” The “that” he referred to was Serena’s confidence. He was deeply protective of that which he and her mother had built through practice and words. For those entrusted with the work of birth in any capacity and for those entrusted with someone sharing their birth wishes, “Leave that alone.” Birthing in confidence doesn’t mean to be ignorant of the possibilities that something could go wrong. But it does help shape the mind to prepare the body for the work ahead in pregnancy, labor, delivery, and parenthood.  Emoni knew she didn’t want to give birth in a hospital. She connected with the resources within her community to help push her vision into motion. A local midwife, the dedicated doulas of ROOTT, her child’s father, and her mother were entrusted with her vision and supported her through the birthing experience from early conception through her first 18 months of motherhood.  Laboring in her mother’s home at her own pace was an empowering experience. The birth she envisioned happened. Emoni’s mom described it as the most powerful birth she’d ever been present for.  The high of labor would soon turn to postpartum lows. Despite having extended support from her doula, Emoni struggled with postpartum depression. Having support doesn’t mean you won’t experience mental health challenges. Postpartum depression can be the perfect storm of lower oxytocin and increased cortisol. Emoni did make her way through postpartum depression. She wishes she had asked for more help but more importantly, she wished she knew what she could ask for, reflections she hopes informs others.  Restoring Our Own Through Transformation (ROOTT) | reproductive justice organization LG Doula | full spectrum doula, birth & postpartum photographer

Stacee describes her current state of being as her motherhood era. She has birthed two of their children with her husband, and to look at them now you would have no clue what it took to get here. Conception did not come easy. Childbirth brought its challenges. Postpartum complications nearly ended it all. Stacee and Shawn’s family was forged in the fire. Stacee and her husband, Shawn, held strong to not only each other but to their dream of adding to their family as well. While Shawn and Stacee’s story details two live births, their first pregnancy ended in a miscarriage. A miscarriage that has allowed Stacee to be empathetic of those who have endured similar experiences. She talked about the feelings of isolation and loneliness that is matched with the mystery of miscarriages. The inexplicable loss of a child whose life is not yet deemed viable and the lack of compassion in medical settings as it’s happening.   Welcoming a new life into the world is a joyous occasion, but the postpartum period can bring about various health complications for mothers. While many women and birthing people experience a smooth recovery after childbirth, it’s essential to be aware of potential challenges and seek timely medical attention when needed. Excessive bleeding after childbirth, known as postpartum hemorrhage, can be life-threatening. Healthcare providers closely monitor mothers for signs of hemorrhage and may intervene with medications or, in severe cases, surgical procedures to control bleeding. Stacee found herself faced with this after her first birth. Her immediate postpartum journey started with stabilizing her daughter's blood sugar levels which led to the discovery that she had a rare condition that not only needed special treatment but a specific medical team an hour away from where they lived. They took a medical flight, while Stacee was barely able to acknowledge any of her own needs. During that trip, as her daughter was getting the help she needed at a pediatric hospital; Stacee eventually went to the hospital next door for her own care. They discovered that she still had sponges inside of her from her surgical birth and was having a postpartum hemorrhage.  Pause. Breathe. Sit. The emotional enormity of a near-miss affects everyone in the family. Stacee is here to share her story. Shawn is here to share his vantage point of their story. Their babies are here to love their mother. Stacee and Shawn’s words carry the weight.

Esther McCant, founder and CEO of Metro Mommy Agency, opened up about her five pregnancies, which included a miscarriage that would push her to self-advocate with her medical provider. Esther’s first pregnancy happened within the first few months of her marriage. Six weeks later, she learned that she had a blighted ovum and her provider prepared her to miscarry. She had the choice to let the ovum pass or go to the hospital for a DNC. She stayed home as long as she could but eventually went to the hospital. Esther recalled the doctor taking quite a while to see her, and when she did she insisted that Esther still needed a DNC even though everything had passed. She felt threatened by the doctor about the potential that she could bleed out. This interaction helped Esther to trust herself. She chose to leave and go home. The grieving process started; she became pregnant again within a few months. The hospital miscarriage experience led her to want to explore other birthing options. Her sister-in-law invited her to  her calming water birth; which helped her see a new vision. Esther found a midwife who resonated with her and a doula who could support her choices. The midwife was able to support her in a birthing center. Walking around the neighborhood of the birthing center helped move her labor along. Their family started to arrive and became overwhelmed. The midwife asked some of the family members to leave to clear the space. Her mother stayed and it was after the birth and looking at pictures from her doula that she was able to see the relationship she had with her mother in a different light. Her mother, who had only given birth surgically,  had an opportunity to bring healing for herself as she fed Esther and cared for her during her labor. Baby would arrive with a nuchal hand and in the OP position by squatting. The third pregnancy brought on changes that would impact her nutrition, wellness, and the birthing environment she desired; which included a water birth.  Feminine energy filled the birthing space by inviting her sisters-in-law. Her son’s birth was challenging as she had back labor. She regrets not getting chiropractic care and having a doula this time. Postpartum was filled with engaging with other women as opposed to the more isolating experience she had after her first birth. They had moved from Florida to Alabama, and the difference in provider options was vastly different. In Florida, Esther could have a Certified Professional Midwife, a Certified Nurse Midwife, or a Licensed Midwife deliver her baby. Unfortunately, Alabama did not have those options at the time in 2014. Alabama has terrible birth outcomes and race relations. She could only deliver with a midwife if an obstetrician was present during the labor and delivery.  Esther felt low during the pregnancy because they were living with her parents and living paycheck to paycheck. Esther decided to leave the state when she was ready to give birth. She provided much of her prenatal care until she found a midwife in Tennessee. Her midwife helped her be more proactive about her health and nutrition; including lowering toxins in their environment and skin care. Postpartum preparation was top of mind as she would be traveling to give birth. When Esther thought she was in labor they made the two-and-a-half-hour trek to Chattanooga to no avail as the baby was not ready. They turned the trip into a babymoon and would make the trip again a couple of days later. Esther and her husband brought the kids along to meet up with her family who would care for them. They didn’t make it there on time due to a flat tire problem. Esther gave birth within 6 hours of leaving their home and although she felt distracted by having the other children there and wondering where her family was. Esther’s Haitian roots welcomed the Haitian bath, teas, and essential oils, and started the restoration process with her mother coming to support her. When Esther had her fourth son, she was a trained birth doula. She envisioned a waterbirth with her partner,  two midwives, and two doulas present. The birth and pregnancy were heavy in dealing with the ongoing race issues in our country and the experiences of Black men and boys. Giving herself space to release those feelings during long labor allowed her to relax in her body and give birth smoothly. Her vision would come true as she delivered her son in a haze of joy. Adding value to herself and the clients she serves now catapulted Esther to take a deep and intentional dive into more doula training and become a Certified Lactation Counselor. Additionally, she serves other doulas in the country as a mentor in birth work and business.  Resources:  Metro Mommy Agency | serving women with support and education to navigate through their journey into motherhood

Storytelling is always where the truth lies. It's an authentic account of our experiences - without modification, questions, or uncertainty. Validation that our experience and voice matter. We know what the narrative has been created around black fathers, what they are or aren't doing. What fatherhood has or hasn't meant to them. In our community, though we feel the truth, we know the role black fathers have in the foundation of their families. In 2020 in collaboration with Heather Gallagher (photojournalist Heather Gallagher photographer), we highlighted and amplified the voices of black fathers in our community. We are thrilled, to be able to bring the series back with five fathers from our local Columbus, Ohio community. Four of them sharing with us a little bit of who they are, what fatherhood means to them, and the joy in their journey.  A special layer to this year was giving these fathers their flowers of celebration in partnership with Black Men Flower Project, and The Bloom Boutique 614. Black Men Flower Project gives blooms to show appreciation to Black men - honoring their life in the present moments. One father shared that this was the first time he had ever received flowers - beaming with pride, he exclaimed "I feel pretty!"  These voices and their lives are a gift, and we are truly grateful and honored to share them with you all!

Raena Boston, Founder of the Chamber of Mothers and The Momtras, joined us to share her three birth experiences and the makings of motherhood. Raena's first pregnancy lead her down a new path for her family by choosing a birth center instead of a hospital. Her provider was off-putting and the idea of shifting to different providers within the practice helped her make the decision. The birth center experience with Baby Aksel was beautiful. She arrived at the birth center at 4 cm dilated after a night of laboring at home. Her husband, Travis, and their doula were supportive and helped her manage labor and delivery. Their second pregnancy would be a "happy accident" 10 months after their first son was born.  They chose to work with the birth center again. Baby Asher came a little over a week passed his estimated due date. Walking around the neighborhood was helpful but she had become anxious and tired of being pregnant. Not to mention managing a toddler through the last few days before the birth. True to form Raena arrived at the birth center 6cm dilated with the understanding of her body's needs helping direct her labor. The midwife was laid back and focused on ensuring Raena listened to her body and felt empowered through the process. Baby Asher was born shortly afterward with some concern as he arrived covered in meconium After bringing two kids earthside Raena and Travis experienced a hard period in their marriage as they navigated how they would move forward together. 2021 would usher in another "happy accident" after they chose each other and worked on their relationship. This pregnancy and birth would be during the pandemic. They wanted to use the birth center again. The initial prenatal appointment was different, as discussions about her BMI became an issue. The nurse mentioned her race and BMI as reasons they needed to take more measures,including a daily aspirin and early screening for gestational diabetes, despite never having a medical history of high blood pressure or gestational diabetes. Raena attempted to address her concerns about how she was being treated; she regrets not listening to her gut. The mask mandate was rescinded in Florida; the practice also stopped requiring mask-wearing due to the pressure of other patients who didn't want to wear the masks. During a 38-week appointment, Raena was handed a packet for her appointment and a slip of paper fell out that read "BMI-out of bounds". She was instantly triggered by this and started to feel agitated. She then had a high blood pressure reading that led to a conversation that would make a major shift in her pregnancy. Raena's blood pressure continued to get higher as the days passed. She and Travis had started conversing about switching to a homebirth with another midwife. Her blood pressure reached 174/106; they planned to go to the hospital. Transitioning their birth plan was mentally challenging but after getting settled into the idea that she would stay at the hospital. Raena was able to maintain a decent BP without continuous high readings. They started an induction when Raena was ready, as she wanted a different doctor on call. The staff at the hospital was mindful that the hospital was not her first choice and worked with her through her options. The environment wasn't ideal; she pushed through her expectations. The intensity was high and the doctor wanted to break her water. She felt unheard and over-talked during labor. Raena pushed their baby out, and Travis announced the sex. They were on a high as they acknowledged that they had survived a challenging season in marriage and were proud of themselves as a couple. Processing her last birth has shed light on the lessons learned; like paying attention when people and places have changed or that you have changed and know you need something different. Listen to the wisdom of your body. Self-advocacy can be learned the hard way or we can pick it up from those who came before us. You don't have to be a model patient. Raena vows to never, ever abandon herself again. Resources: The Working Momtras | community of affirmations, stories, and connection - through the lens of motherhood Chamber of Mothers | a nonprofit focusing on uniting mothers as advocates to America’s priorities on mothers’ rights

A few years have passed since we last heard from Dasia. She shared her first birth story which included a home birth transfer to the hospital where she endured birth trauma.  Since our last chat on the podcast, Dasia added birth doula to her growing list of titles and passions.   This second pregnancy was unexpected but welcome. Her threshold of knowledge had shifted not just within birth work but what she knew about herself after becoming a mother for the first time. In retrospect, she acknowledges that she wanted to repair the issues of her first traumatic birth and didn’t allow herself to sit in the joy and miracle of the second birth. She dove head first, determined to create a birth dream team and the home birth of her desires. She found a doula and midwife that aligned with her needs. The desire to prepare her body for labor and commit to her care was strengthened by weekly commitments to a chiropractor, massage therapist, and float therapy. When asked if she sought mental health therapy during this pregnancy Dasia took us through a moment of self-reflection. She remembers researching therapists and never pushing forward. There is resistance to seeing one’s self as deserving and not minimizing hardships about other difficult times. Her husband and best friend, Juvante, was working out of town for the majority of the pregnancy. His physical absence was the removal of her sounding board and being seen. This was an emotional strain but she still felt mentally sound, which made it feel less pressing to address. The idea of invalidating our own experiences is sitting with her and is allowing her to pause in the now. Unpacking this birth was two-fold as Dasia prepared for survival and maintained her plan to birth in a safe space. Dasia’s labor started during her braiding appointment. Although she thought they were Braxton-Hicks her stylist sped up the process. Dasia consulted with her doula and midwife and they told her things would come as they were supposed to. She spent the rest of her day with her family as the contractions continued. The frequency and intensity of the contractions increased. She kept denying the labor but gave herself space to eat and rest. She finally informed the birth team how the day was going. She experienced a sharp pain through each contraction. She wasn’t concerned but wanted to relieve it. Dasia came into acceptance of labor as she tried to take a warm bath that did not slow things down at all. There was a fear of losing stamina that stemmed from the first birth that pushed her to rest. The midwife arrived around 2:00 am and peacefully joined the space. Her husband stepped in as her doula as he was ever-present and supporting her needs. Squatting through her contractions while her husband held her felt deeply vulnerable. She could feel the shifts in engagement and transition proved mentally challenging as she was processing that her home birth was happening. Instincts kicked in and her body made the shifts needed to plant her feet in the present. Her husband told her he can see the baby’s hair and they welcomed their second baby girl shortly afterward.  Building a village of community support has been heavy work for Dasia and Juvante in this postpartum season. They are in a space of being close to family geographically but not connected in a way that supports their growing family’s needs.  This is the challenge of postpartum, especially after the pandemic has weakened some relationships with distance. The intentionality of seeking out support and building relationships isn’t easy but necessary.  Resources: Therapy for Black Girls | online space dedicated to encouraging the mental wellness of Black women and girls Spinning Babies | pregnancy preparation as well as labor activities to ease birth Susan the Birth Doula|specializes in birth and postpartum advocacy, education, and support for expecting mothers Love ‘N’ Touch (Sekesa Berry) | traditional community midwifery care serving the Atlanta area

Birth doula and student-midwife Trinity Stephens is serving the Southwestern Ohio birthing community at an early age. She's 17 years old but has been a birth worker for four years. She completed her initial training with her Aunt Rhonda and has continued to build her skills and garner further education through training and hands-on work with local midwives. After attending her first birth, virtually, she couldn't serve in the hospital due to her age. Trinity reached out to local midwives to see if she could shadow them. Her parents were supportive and encouraged her to learn a trade; this work aligned with what they had instilled in her.  They fully invested in the desires of her heart. As a homeschooler, her schedule allows for freedom of choice and how she spends her time. Trinity was also able to attend college classes and started her research on Black Maternal and Infant Health and solutions to better outcomes and positive experiences. Her research led her to think beyond doula work and explore the obstetrician/gynecologist route. She knows that Black women need to feel safe in their pregnancy journey, and Trinity wants to be a haven. Eventually, she connected with a midwife willing to meet with her, and she has been attending births with her ever since. Trinity fell in love with home birth and has shifted her plans to become a midwife. Seeing safe, natural births have helped her see the possibilities for birthing people to birth without fear and unnecessary interventions. Trinity understands that midwives need to prepare for challenges during birth, and this has also helped her be patient with the midwifery process. She has attended over 100 births and counting. Each birth helps her become more confident about the work ahead. None of the births she has attended count towards her midwifery journey because she hasn't graduated from high school yet. She's not rushing the process and loves learning. Exploring her family tree regarding birth work has created some interest in her lineage and how it is a birthright. She has three practicing doulas in her family;  her cousin, BSiCs own, Danielle Jackson, her Aunt Rhonda, and her Great Aunt Joyce. She encourages more people to answer the call because our people need us. Stepping into the work humble and ready to receive correction. We have an ask - if you feel led to support Trinity with her Midwifery journey, please listen to her birth story, and donate to her Cashapp: Bennies Babies The Doula Service.

This is a story that includes loss - In memory of Troya Simone Kay’s expectation of pregnancy was to feel joy. Her life was falling into place the way she wanted it to regarding her personal and professional life. She inquired about the effects of her workload and the pregnancy. Her provider said as long as she felt good, she could continue working the way she had been. Despite her provider's reassurance, she decided to start scaling back her work as a chef/entrepreneur. A few weeks later, she started feeling bad while she was at a party. She had a high pain tolerance and found herself pushing through without seeking help, submitting to the strong Black woman persona. The pain continued, and Kay called 911; she woke up in the ICU. Kay lost her baby. She lost the joy in her pregnancy. Her daughter was stillborn. She couldn’t hold her, not because she wasn't allowed but because she didn’t want to; there was a disconnect. Ten years later, she still feels that loss. The postpartum period for the parents of a stillborn child goes beyond the initial trauma of not bringing their child home. Kay and her husband live in the state of Texas, where it is required to name and bury their child. She had to ask the nurse where her baby was as if no one had considered her in the process. Her OB told her that she had never lost a baby. The coldness of the responses, tone, and lack of care added more pain to her grief. The medical staff at the hospital offered microaggressions with a side of coldness, leaving her to feel blamed for the loss.  Life after the loss was harder than the loss. The words of her friends and family weren’t comforting. The idea of another opportunity to be pregnant again didn’t soothe or heal her. Give it time; tough words that proved to be isolating. The help she needed was hard to explain. She couldn’t articulate what she needed even when people asked her directly. Kay described herself as a broken plate without enough glue to put it back together.  A rebirth at 7-8 months postpartum saved Kay. She could feel herself withering away. The domino effect of infant loss started and shifted her community, the loss of things and people, friendships, and relationships, including her partner. They had to separate and rebuild from scratch after Kay spent some time to herself in deep healing. Journaling her feelings helped her explore her patterns and how to dictate the outcomes of her days. She started asking people about their birth stories, which opened the door for people to talk about their losses, abortions, joy, and pain. Kay saw the mental health needs of birthing people as a new cause to fight and build for. Her life as a chef was winding down as she fulfilled her commitments without the love for the work. Kay’s passion for Black Maternal Mental Health grew The Shades of Blue Project. Centering the experience of birth and not the outcome is inclusive and not isolating. Social support in the form of diapers, formula, etc. Mental health support for losses of all types, miscarriages, stillbirths, and abortions. Creating safe spaces that are accessible for the people, decreasing barriers to resources, help serve those who need it most. A beautiful boutique designed to empower its clients to be engaged in their own experiences with dignity. What you do for yourself helps you serve others. This year (2023) the Black Maternal Mental Health Week, created and hosted by Kay and The Shades of Blue Project, will continue their I.N.S.P.I.R.E. Method training. The intention is to provide compassionate care methods specifically for women of color and minorities, which doulas can implement, midwives, clinicians, and those facilitating support groups.  Resources: Shades of Blue Project | dedicated to helping women before, during and after child-birth with community resources, mental health advocacy, treatment and support

Creatives Jenni & Bryson had built a life together, centering their work in music and writing before their baby girl joined the family. Their pregnancy journey started with extreme nausea for Jenni. She sought medical support for her discomfort and found relief in prescription nausea medication. Jenni was interested in midwifery care but was “risked out” due to blood pressure issues. However, she was able to find medical providers that met her needs. Listening to and watching birth stories helped Jenni prepare for pregnancy and birth. It came to a point where she had to start filtering her choices as it became information overload that triggered anxiety. Bryson and Jenni attended a virtual birthing class together and hired a doula toward the end of the pregnancy for additional support with advocacy and physical support.  Deep-seated fear surrounding dying during childbirth under the care of hospital providers had settled into Jenni’s psyche. Routine prenatal appointments left her second-guessing the information she received from her providers. Jenni reached out to other Black medical and birth professionals for reassurance and additional information. The challenges of being a pregnant Black woman felt mentally heavy, constantly trying to read between the lines and discern information for accuracy. She found herself being very direct when with her care providers as she needed an induction. Jenni was concerned about a pulmonary embolism as she saw it in the media as a common cause of death or challenges during childbirth. She discussed a plan of care if she developed clots before consenting to her subsequent surgical birth. Jenni and Bryson chose a surgical birth after a prolonged, four-day induction. The surgery was a shift from her vision but ended up being the most positive and relieving part of her labor and birth story.  Jenni felt good after her birth in terms of pain management. Once her body calmed down when they were at home, she could feel the sleep deprivation in conjunction with breastfeeding challenges. Their daughter had screaming fits that led them to call the nurse for support; that night, their nurse explored the idea of one night of baby formula. Jenni gave herself permission to rest by using supplemental formula for the night. Bryson ventured out in the middle of the night to purchase a can. However, when he returned to the house, all was well, and their baby girl had nursed. The reassurance of having a backup plan to feed their baby gave them some relief and peace. Their breastfeeding journey has been enjoyable for Jenni and their baby girl. Accessing local programs for moms and families was a significant key to planning for birth and managing postpartum life. Jenni recommends exploring what is available in your area, especially if designed for Black families. Centering the whole family's needs beyond the pregnancy added value to their parenting journey.  Resources: Healthy Birth Initiative | opening up access to health care and providing ongoing support to pregnant Black and African American women and their families before and after birth Black Parent Initiative | culture-specific, community-centered organization, creating innovative, culturally-relevant and sustainable interventions and opportunities for families