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As a way to celebrate 200 episodes and 5 years together, I asked listeners for their questions on any topic. In this episode, I'm answering questions on the most important question to ask when decluttering, abundance vs scarcity mindsets, motherhood stages and seasons, and more from AMA (Ask Me Anything) questions Here are the questions that I answered in this episode, and related links to posts and episodes that you might like: DECLUTTERING 1. What is the most important thing to consider when trying to declutter as an Enneagram type 7? * Enneagram 101 (what is it and what are the nine types) * Enneagram + Motherhood Series * 143. How to let go of IDENTITY CLUTTER * 90. Declutter ‘what if I need it one day?’ items from your home with THIS shift * 111. Decluttering decisions and guilt [Q+A] * 110. Our relationship with stuff, and other decluttering questions MINDSETS 2. How to develop a positive mindset when dealing with a chronic illness or health worries of family members? 3. Did you always have an abundance mindset? If not, when did it change and how do you nurture it? * (LISTEN) 40. Does the ‘not-enough’ mindset show up in your momlife? (Scarcity/Abundance) * (READ) The ‘not-enough’ mindset (how to spot a scarcity mindset and shift it to an abundance mindset) * 177. Understanding what is motivating you (chasing vs avoiding) SIMPLE ON PURPOSE 4. What has changed since starting the podcast? What is the purpose of the podcast now? 5. What is your main source of inspiration for your work? MOTHERHOOD 6. What's something you're loving about your family's ages, stages and dynamics right now? * 190. Planning the day: my weekly routines and rhythms for work, home and family 7. How can I best parent my middle child? * 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun * When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them) 8. How do I know if our family is meant for another baby? FUN AMA 9. What is your favourite book?

How we talk to ourselves matters. I was asked to share an episode on positive self-talk and want to open up with a review of the common mindset traps (cognitive distortions) we can have. By noticing these cognitive distortions we can better understand how we might be holding ourselves back and the impact our thinking can have on our lives and relationships. I will share the common cognitive distortions, what they are, and some examples that we might have in motherhood and life.      Topics in this episode and related links you might like: * Habit tracking for the new year * Habit Change, for Moms Playlist is right here) * Positive self-talk * consider what story and emotion are you operating from * Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) * What are cognitive distortions * The negative filter we see things through * How cognitive distortions impact our assumptions and view of things  * How they impact our behaviours, relationships and lives  * Common cognitive distortions * (wallpaper download form is below) * All or Nothing  * Our marriage was struggling, here are 12 things that helped us heal and strengthen it * 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. * Overgeneralization  * 158. MVP/ Do you typecast your kids? How labels impact our parenting and our children * Catastrophizing * Personalization * Jumping to Conclusions * Mindreading * misFortune Telling  * Emotional Reasoning * Should Statements * Discounting the Positive  * Minimize the positive * Focus on the negative * How to handle cognitive distortions * how to pay attention to your thoughts, challenge your thoughts, the power of noticing and naming    The cognitive distortion downloads/wallpapers, if you can't see the sign up box then click here @import url("https://assets.mlcdn.com/fonts.css?version=1705921"); /* LOADER */ .ml-form-embedSubmitLoad { display: inline-block; width: 20px; height: 20px; } .g-recaptcha { transform: scale(1); -webkit-transform: scale(1); transform-origin: 0 0; -webkit-transform-origin: 0 0; height: ; } .sr-only { position: absolute; width: 1px; height: 1px; padding: 0; margin: -1px; overflow: hidden; clip: rect(0,0,0,0); border: 0; } .ml-form-embedSubmitLoad:after { content: " "; display: block; width: 11px; heig...

What does it mean to live on purpose? This is a question I get from listeners who want to live intentionally but aren't sure how to apply it to daily life (as a mom, because mom life has a lot of urgency and autopilot wrapped into it).  I want to unpack how I approach intentional living on a daily basis as well as the bigger picture.    This is a listener question: how do we live each day with intention and purpose?  We will cover what holds you back from intentional living and how to get started with simple steps. Main topics covered in this episode (and related links): * Feeling unmotivated with life * For the mom who is ‘waiting’ for life to happen * 177. Understanding what is motivating you (chasing vs avoiding) * Feeling swept up in routine and living on autopilot  * 79. Six signs you are living your life on autopilot (and what to do about it) * Deciding you are ready to make a change and pursue intentional living * The Making Change Challenge * Decluttering the distractions, to make way for living intentionally * 189. Prioritizing the day: if everything matters nothing matters and how to apply this in motherhood * 161. Why having LESS matters, the benefits of decluttering and minimalism * Intentional Phone Habits Series * The Eisenhower matrix (important/non-important, urgent/non-urgent) can help you set daily focus  * Looking out for all-or-nothing thinking when it comes to approaching life on purpose * The power of small shifts done consistently, to help you shift into intentional living * 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) * 133. 4 simple habits that make my momlife better * Setting your intention starts with getting to know what you want your life to look like * 176. When you don’t know what you want in life. Life on purpose for the non-dreamer * Having a vision to be intentional towards, what this can look like and tools you can try * a title="Know Where You Are Going (why vision setting matters + free LIVE YOUR VISION worksheets)" href="https://simpleonpurpose.

This is part 2 of the situations that can feel tough around the holidays. We explore how we deal with grief, family dynamics and clashes and ways we can take care of ourselves and look for ways to enjoy what is available to us. Tips from a counsellor to consider for the holiday season.      Main topics of this episode: * Part 1 unpacked topics like anticipatory anxiety, routines, loneliness, overspending and transitions  * 196. When The Holidays Feel Hard (stress, anxiety, loneliness, overspending, transitions)- tips from a Counsellor * Dealing with grief over the holidays * When you need permission to grieve * The 4 tasks of grieving * Canadian Grief Support mygrief.ca * Family dynamics * Owning your own values  * 149. How to find what matters to you (uncovering your personal values) * Family roles  * 8 common family roles * 134. Do you typecast your kids? (Labels + how they impact our parenting and our kids) * Boundaries help maintain a relationship vs barriers which block a relationship * Knowing when to use each one * Coping well, taking care of your capacity over the holidays  * The Meeting Your Needs Series * Bringing the fun with you, you are allowed to enjoy moments * 162. Think the best of me, or not. Allowing the hard and awesome in ourselves and in our lives. * Finding Joy In Your Every Day (#theperfectmomentsproject) * 163. Have fun with your kids, on purpose + reasons we don’t have fun * Five Tips to Make Your Christmas Simpler and More Enjoyable * When Did I Stop Enjoying My Kids? (and my journey back to enjoying them)

I asked listeners to share the tough scenarios they expect to encounter during the holidays and Christmas. I will start with Part 1, going through the themes of scenarios and sharing an idea on a shift you can try to make this season, from a counsellor's perspective.  The goal is to give you some tools on how to handle the reality that life can still be hard and things can feel tough, especially around this time of year.   The interview with Brandi Hofer of Colour Me Happy Community  * On Youtube - Brandi Hofer Studios * On the podcast - Colour Me Happy Community   Main topics covered in this episode: * The expectations of Christmas/The Holidays vs the emotions we carry as humans * 156. 3 things to know about feeling negative emotions * Anticipatory anxiety, one way to deal with it * 174. Christmas hygge ideas + understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood * Tough scenarios during the holidays, lack of routines * 115. A Controlling mom, or a capable mom? * Overspending to make the holidays FEEL good * 141. When shopping isn’t making your life better (mindful and minimalist tips for shopping) * Being alone or missing family during the holidays * Times of transition during the holidays  * 67. Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) * Simple Christmas (all posts here)   FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:10 Hey friends, it's Shawna Scafe, your nerdy girlfriend and counsellor from simple on purpose.ca I thought I would add my last name in there because I never say it and you're probably reading it and don't really know how to pronounce it. So nice to meet you guys. My Instagram used to be Shawna Scafe. But the way it was written everyone thought it was Sean is cafe. And people were genuinely wondering where my cafe was. And that would be so dreamy to have a cafe so but I don't, I don't have a cafe. So I just changed my instagram name to simple on purpose. Anyways, here you are, you're at the simple and purpose podcast. Welcome. And today has been a really busy day. This morning, I did an interview with brandy Hofer. She is a Canadian artist. She's a muralist. She's a portrait artist. She's an educator, she's a speaker, and I have followed her work for actually a lot of years now. And I just love her work. It's so beautiful. It's like a feast for the heart. It's just so wonderful. And I recently had commented on one of her Instagram posts, and she wrote me right back, and she asked me to come on your podcast, which was so cool.

A major hurdle that many of us moms to rest is the underlying belief that we need to 'earn our rest'. In this episode, Professional Counsellor and mom of three unpacks how this belief impacts our abilities to rest well, our relationships and our coping habits.      This episode is in follow-up to Episode 194. I stopped calling myself a lazy mom  In this episode, we discuss topics such as: * relaxation vs pseudo-rest, burnout * opportunity costs, and how we insert ourselves into the equation * 188. Motherhood & Instagram Culture (how online communities impact your motherhood experience) * 189. Prioritizing the day: if everything matters nothing matters and how to apply this in motherhood * the cultural views on motherhood, being lazy, and earning rest * how we apply the logic of 'earning rest', seeking external validation, martyrdom * 67. Making motherhood harder than it needs to be (Mom Martyr) * 192. Who are you when I’m not looking (internal vs external validation) * the escape hatch, dealing with our feelings * 185. Emotional needs in motherhood (what they are and how to meet them) * 142. What will change cost you? (Paying the status quo or investing in change) * Show up for your life * getting the cycle backwards between rest and hard work * the Instagram post you all loved about rest * the cycle of hyper-productivity then crashing * meeting your needs * the series is right here  Join the Simple Saturdays newsletter right here    FULL TRANSCRIPT 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend counselor from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome to the simple and purpose podcast. 0:17 So if you're new here, welcome. I am Shawna, I am a mom of three kids in Canada, I am a counselor. And my aim is to equip you with tools and ideas and insights that help you live more simply and more intentionally, in all the areas of your life. 0:31

Do you ever find yourself trying to rest or relax and get this nagging voice telling you that you are being lazy? As moms, this can be a nightly experience, when we finally get the kids down and would like to unwind. Instead, our R&R gets hijacked by this notion that if we aren't doing chores, hobbies, exercise, etc then we are being lazy.  But, odds are you are NOT a lazy mom, rather you are overwhelmed.      In this episode we cover some of these topics (and related links you might like): * The original blog post When I realized I wasn’t a lazy mom, I was just overwhelmed * Naming our experience * The power of naming our emotions (how affect labelling can improve your emotional intelligence) * Societal expectations on moms * 188. Motherhood & Instagram Culture (how online communities impact your motherhood experience) * Self-definition (limiting identities) * 76. Why it matters what you think (limiting mindsets in motherhood) * Three ways we are exhausted during the day * Physical exhaustion * Emotional exhaustion, mirror neurons, our kids' emotions * 117. Emotional Intelligence 101 (and by Enneagram Type) * 119. Tolerating tough emotions in our kids (and ourselves) * 113. Why you aren’t thriving in motherhood (stress and surviving) * Mental exhaustion, mental load, decision fatigue * 144. How to lighten the mental load of DECISION FATIGUE * The counter-argument of 'just be more organized' * 11 Things That Make My MomLife Simpler * 133. 4 simple habits that make my momlife better * How do we handle this voice telling us that we are lazy * Window of tolerance * understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood * a title="153. How to move from ambivalent to ambitious (making change takes more than just willpower)" href="http...

Words are incredibly powerful, they can communicate exactly what you are thinking, feeling, wanting, needing, in sometimes as little as a single sentence. But that only works when we understand ourselves and have the vocabulary necessary to name our lives. Join me today as I talk about nine beautiful words from other cultures that capture the heart of simple and intentional living and discuss how they can influence your life.     Naming our experience  * The power of naming our emotions (how affect labelling can improve your emotional intelligence) * 117. Emotional Intelligence 101 (and by Enneagram Type) * The Facebook Community Group  Hygge * Hygge vs Minimalism * Three ways to bring hygge into your daily life * 174. Christmas hygge ideas + understanding how the window of tolerance impacts your stress in motherhood * 30 Ways to Hygge When It Is Cold Outside *   Lagom * 164. How I am finding balance in my life this year * 189. Prioritizing the day: if everything matters nothing matters and how to apply this in motherhood   Sisu * 11. The Finnish Way (sisu) + Do we need so much pantry space? * 49. Facing change and uncertainty with a growth mindset * 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? * 15 Practical Tips for Moms to GET STUFF DONE   Kaizen * 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect)b...

We live in an audience-performer culture it is hard to know which decisions we are making for ourselves and which ones we are making for others. What you buy differently, how would you spend your time differently, how would you be differently without feeling like the world is watching?     In this episode: * The song that started it all: "Who Are You When I'm Not Looking" by Blake Shelton  * How hard it can be to 'play' as an adult * 126. The Joy of Being Mediocre (hobby without the hustle) * Doing things for an outcome * Fashion, identity, and societal influences  * Simple style posts (capsule wardrobes, 30for30 challenge, dressing your age) * Spending habits * The Audience-Performer culture of social media  * Influencers in the wild (article on it here) * What is sacred vs what is for sharing online * Our lives as content, for external validation and approval  * Being part of society, while also being ourselves * 188. Motherhood & Instagram Culture (How Online Communities Impact Your Motherhood Experience) * Being valuable and fitting in * Learning self-definition through the reflection of others * Moving from external validation to internal validation   * 134. Do you typecast your kids? (Labels + how they impact our parenting and our kids) * Women and beauty standards of our culture  * What does it mean to be a woman when no one is looking? * Making decisions that are true to you and your passions and preferences, how to get started in small ways * Validating the little things for yourself    Connect! * Make sure to share your thoughts and questions in the Simple on Purpose community facebook group! * What would you like to hear about when it comes to the topic of Simple Living? * Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)     Full transcript (unedited) 0:10 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome to the simpler purpose podcast. Around here we talk about ways to simplify your home, your heart and your life. So my aim is to help us all slow down, quiet the noise,

When we think about the motivation we have to take action, we can sometimes take action that is more passive. The type of action that feels productive but doesn't quite move us in a forward direction. This concept from Brooke Castillo contrasts passive action and massive action.    In this episode, I discuss topics such as: * How simplifying the home leads to an aim for intentional living * living intentionally and overcoming complacency * self-motivation and limiting beliefs * the concept of passive action vs massive action * the discomfort of taking action The upcoming workshop on motivation can be found right here at the Life on Purpose Academy  Related episodes you might like * 140. Give your discomfort a purpose #uncomfortableonpurpose * 139. Are you TOO comfortable? And what is it costing you? * 175. What will your future be? More of the same? Or will you turn off the autopilot? * Two Months In To The #onesmallhabit Challenge Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   Full Transcript (unedited) 0:11 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy Brooklyn counselor from simple americans.ca. Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. If you're new here, welcome. I'm Shawna, I'm a mom of three. And the whole aim of this podcast is to just be a time for us to take a minute, slow down. Take a breath. I know sometimes I just hear that word breath. And it reminds me to take a breath. And my aim is to help you to stop and take stock of what feels like too much. What maybe it feels like not enough. Where are we on autopilot? What is distracting us? And most importantly, what do we want? What do you want? And I aim to help you move forward with all of these questions, I aim to help you simplify and it might start with decluttering, your home, a drawer or a closet. And we're quickly going to see as I did that, decluttering it helps us to declutter ourselves, if decluttering our space helps us to declutter ourselves. And as we do that, we're also inspired to declutter our lives. And so I often say, I'm here to help you simplify your home, your heart and your life. But all of that clearing that space so that we can fill it with something different so that we can fill our homes, ourselves, our hearts, our lives, our days, with what matters to us. And that's the life on purpose part. So I'm just want to acknowledge that this recording is different. I'm in a hotel right now. And right before I was leaving, yesterday morning, I was searching that was everywhere for this special little adapter that I needed. So I could plug in my microphone, my usual microphone to the computer that I was bringing the laptop. I couldn't find it anywhere. It's such a mystery to me where it has gone. So when I do finally find is going to be somewhere probably ridiculous. Like a kid's duffel bag in the basement or an old like,

This is part two of a two-part series about planning your day. If you haven't listened to part one (episode 189), I highly recommend you do so and then come right back to listen to this one. Join me as I guide you through a typical day in my life as a work-from-home mom. I discuss how I use time-blocking, rhythms and answer your questions .   In this episode I discuss:  My typical weekday  My weekly rhythms for work, home and family Time-blocking  How the changing seasons also change my days Family life, priorities and routines Answering some questions I’ve been asked about planning my days Exercise, laundry, meal prep, groceries, planning the week Derailed plans    All the fun links you might enjoy  Family rhythms (setting your own, and worksheets) Family Rhythms + free worksheet Planning the week with your partner What happened in my marriage when we started weekly calendar meetings Exercise for wellbeing 184. Movement as self-care (exercise for wellbeing, not weight loss) Establishing a chore routine 61. How we introduced chores to our kids (Saturday Morning Chores) Creating your own simple cleaning routines Homemaker, on Purpose (the guidebook) Working on your sense of capability 115. A Controlling mom, or a capable mom? 170. Planning the Day (reactive vs proactive, tools and approaches I use) 129. Does your ‘to-do list’ overwhelm you? Expectation overwhelm and how to handle it.   Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   Upcoming workshops and coaching: The Oct 13 group coaching session The Oct 27 workshop on motivation Full transcript (with timestamps) 0:00 Hey friends, it's Shawna, your nerdy girlfriend and counselor from simple on purpose.ca. Welcome to the simple and purpose podcast. 0:16 This episode is part two, actually. So I would encourage you to go back to the previous episode and listen to that first. These episodes are on planning my day planning my week and the first episode I talked about applying that concept of if everything matters, nothing matters. And I think that's just really a good foundation to have in the back of your mind when you're thinking about filling your day, and how you're going to fill your day. So I encourage you to go back and listen to that. 0:42 Let's talk about my typical day, which is a question you guys have asked me. I kind of like hearing on other people's days, I don't know, I they used to do that Instagram challenge, like a day in the life or I forget what it's called, like one hour every? I don't know. Anyways, I thought it was really interesting. I like to peek in on how other people were spending their time. So I'm going to talk about my day and then answer a bunch of que...

Planning your day, week, month, even year is a great way to stay organized and on top of life, but it can become overwhelming and cluttered very quickly if you are not careful. When we plan without intention, and without knowing what the important things are, then we will be stuck in a lot of distractions and autopilot priorities. Join me in the first of a two part series about planning your day as a mom.  In this episode I discuss:  My first blog and how it changed my outlook The post that started the original blog My C-Section & The Feelings I Was Ashamed to Admit Advice for working-from-home moms A strategy I used to plan my day with kids at home How To Plan Your Day As a Mom (3 Simple Steps) Simplifying mom life 11 Things That Make My MomLife Simpler Some tips for how you can look at your available time  Honouring your season, validating the season you are in What Moms of Toddlers Need to Hear Doing the hard thing to make life easier * Simplifying your life, consider the resources of your life * The Simplify Your Life Series (with worksheets) Values and vision worksheets available in  the free resources Knowing your own values 149. How to find what matters to you (uncovering your personal values) Knowing the vision for the nine areas of your life Know Where You Are Going (why vision setting matters + free LIVE YOUR VISION worksheets) Establishing family rhythms (worksheets too!) 28. How to plan your summer on purpose, family rhythms we have and how to set ones you love. Doing the work of small consistent habits 78. Small things that can change your whole life (the compound effect) Sign up for the the Simple Saturdays email (a fun email, twice a month)   Upcoming workshops and coaching: * The Oct 13 group coaching session * The Oct 27 workshop on motivation     FULL TRANSCRIPT  0:10 Welcome to the simple on purpose podcast. If you are just joining welcome, it's great to have you here. I'm Shawna, I'm a counselor, I'm a mom of three, living in Canada. And my whole goal with this podcast is to help you just take a minute slow down, get centered on the things that really matter to you and encourage you to clear out all of the distractions and the excess that keeps you from showing up well for your life. 0:38 Some fun things around our house these days, we're doing that closet Reno, you might have seen the pictures and the simple Saturdays emails, I'm going to share more on that in the future because we had to reduce the s...