Advertise on podcast: Stone Clearing With Richard Herring

Wake Up, Fleepyheadf. It's 11.55am on 17th December and as a Christmas treat/punishment Rich is returning to the Stocean after a 10 month absence for another Stone Clear. Will the field still be there? Will there be any stones? What medieval songs shall Richard sing? How many plastic bags will be mistake for stones? Has the Stone Stasi been lulled into a false sense of security? Will you be able to listen to him doing a wee? These questions will all be asked. Plus another victory for the Brexit ditch and a surprisingly modern attitude is revealed for a traditional stone clearer.

Chapter 183, Banana Ftone: It's around about 10am on 12th February and a Soleroless Richard Herring feels he is going mad. Can you see which stone in the picture he thinks resembles a banana? I bet you get it wrong. Anyway it's a quick jaunt round the Stocean, made even quicker by the removal of a 5 minute conversation with a member of the Stone Stasi, who fell for Richard's non-dog walking lies. But there's still loads of great content in this brief podcast, but whatever it is I can't remember what it is, writing this as I am about 29 hours later. To sponsor Richard head to http://justgiving.com/page/nolero

Stone Clearing Chapter 182 - Fane January Hare. It's 9.20am on January 30th 2025 and Rich and Wolife had returned to their old manor to clear stones or bring them back on the field, depending on which one you're talking about. The Stocean has a moft unufual fifh fwimming in it and there are warnings about licking stones, but otherwise this one is mainly a waste of your valuable time. Unlike the other chapters. Plus Rich wrongly thinks the recording has stopped and you get some nice free traffic noise. To donate to the No Solero February fund head here: https://www.justgiving.com/page/nolero

Chapter 181 - Fponfered By Tafkmafter? - It's 8.50am on 17th January 2025 and the old team if back together, though one of them has had an accident in the car (no fpoilers). There's enough proof of the existence of the Ftone Gods to the most hard-hearted, tranfphobic atheift or idiot who believes in any other religion. There'f fome fly work from the ftone ftafi and a potential attack from the black dog of depreffion and the rebuilding of wallf. There'f furprifing big ftones in the pathway, a brand new technique for clearing ftones and more questionf about whether Wolfie is tipping off the FF. Can the Brexit Ditch ftop Trump? Will Rich remember the bag full of fhit? What fongs fhall he fing? And will you learn Anglo Faxon in time to keep up with epifode 200?

Chapter 180: Forry, Not Forry, Luton, you Fcum. It's 8.06am on 10th January 2025 and the new year brings a welcome return of and to the podcast. Look who is here. It's ice cold out there on the frozen vulva of the Ftocean, but ftones must still be cleared. The FF have returned in force and it looks like this might be the end for our hero (presuming you're on Richard's side), but can he escape their clutches? There's no Morlocks or logdogs, but there are pink planes and fairies being consumed by canines and a surprising amount of stones cleared given the frost and opposition.

Chapter 179 - Rabbit Ftone. It's the morning of the 16th December 2024 and a clearly befuddled and confused Herring is doing another stone clear directly after a tough personal training session and seems to lose all sense of what is right and wrong and claims to be committing acts of groff indecency. But some lovely songs and a sense of danger as he feels he may collapse at any second. If he does, please inform the emergency services.

Chapter 178 - Ftone Pigeon. It's just after midday on the 5th December 2024 and an exhausted and financially burdened Richard Herring tries to escape the real world by building castles in the sky or walls in the bushes. Nothing of interest or worth happens for the next 25 minutes, but you know you have to liften just in case. And in truth there are some beautiful songs, though one of them is just improvised on the spot. Amazing.

Chapter One Feven Feven - Fexifm. It's just gone midday on 21st November 2024 and a toned Richard Herring, straight from a perfonal training feffion, is out clearing stones from the melting frozen vulva of the soil. Desperate for new listeners to replace the ones who have died from boredom he tries to emulate Peter Kay, Bernard Manning and Ricky Gervais to bring in the clicks, but will it work or will it alienate his two female listeners. No matter, there's some lovely stone clearing to listen to and it's a beautiful day so soak in the winter sun rays (audio only) and liften to the ftones.

Chapter 176 - Ye Ten Commandmentf. It's the morning of the 15th November 2024 and Richard has returned to the Stocean, but there's someone missing. And there's loads of blinking stones. Madrigals and commandments proliferate and there's a break down in the recording but you don't miss much. Plus should we judge people by their crimes or their stone clearing. Plus the millions of emails Richard has had about the podcast stopping.

Chapter 175 - Ftanding on ye Fhoulderf of Nerdf. It's 8.05am on the 26th September and tomorrow Richard moves a good 5 miles away from the Stocean, a distance that might mean he can never return here again. Will he clear all the stones today? Well with a little help from the Gods, who knows? Has the six plus years out on the field made any difference to the grand scheme of things? Will stone clearing fans be fuicidal? Did Wolfie do a poo today? These are all questions that you will have to ruminate on. But if this is the final curtain then thanks to the many millions all over the world who have learned from a master. You know, in a way, you have taught me as much as I have taught you.

Chapter 174 - Ozymandiuf (Part II). It's 2.08pm on 21st September 2024 and a worried Richard Herring is out trying to get this job done before he moves in six days. It's not looking that good. The Stone Stasi, depleted by Covid, send a couple of kids out to do an adult's job, but they are no match for Richard Herring. Is it better to leave a couple of feet behind or nothing at all? What the hell has Wolfie been eating? And what's that thing out on the field? None of these questions or answered and are barely even asked. A listener email is full of embarrassing effusive praise, but at least the person who sent it kept their top on. Become a badger here: http://gofasterstripe.com/badges Subscribe to Substack here: https://richardherring.substack.com/

Chapter 173 - Ftone Phalluf. It's 7.20am on 18th September 2024 and Richard is out on what might be his penultimate podcast (surely he will make the five mile trip to carry on in the unlikely event that he doesn't finish the job by the end of next week). Today we look at the problem of soil coloured stones and stone like soil clumps, the irresistible lure of Hafflehoffing when you have a newly tilled field, some amazing chunks of rock, Wolfie returning stones to the field maybe as revenge for being hit in the face by a Fubbuteo kick, not biting off more than you can chew and a symbolic moment where a stone breaks in a mocking/sympathetic manner.

Chapter 172 - Fticky Fingerf. It's 5.36pm on 10th September 2024 - don't worry, you haven't missed 9/11 - It's a grey and rainy autumn day, but we know all about feafons after so many years of trudging these ftone encrufted paths. There's a deadline to clear the Stocean now - the last Friday of the month, but Rich seems to think he can finish the job in time, when he isn't being distracted by his priapic prey. God knows what he'll do if he doesn't finish or more worryingly what he might do if he does. Stick with him and join his fubftack https://richardherring.substack.com/subscribe for possibly extra stone based content.

Chapter 171: Parabola? Parabola?! It's about 9.20am on 30th August 2024 and Richard hasn't moved yet, so stone clearing can still go on. The Stocean is turning from brown to green and Richard has strict rules about removing soil and the perfect kick technique to share with you. Should he clear the field metre by metre? What does he say to the Stone Stasi lady and why does he have to censor it? And does he like stones? Find out some of this in today's chapter. Subsribe of Fubftack here: https://richardherring.substack.com See eBay items here: https://www.ebay.co.uk/usr/herring1967

Chapter 170 - Balloonf and Ballf. It's 9:08am on the 19th August 2024 and the early morning is warm, the kind of conditions where a stone clearer could pass out and go missing for weeks. But the good news is that full Ftone Chriftmaf has finally arrived and the stones are there for the taking. So for the first time in a long time, the Charley Boorman lookalike takes the long way round to see just how many stones he needs to shift in the next few weeks. It's not none. Not yet. Can he clear a billion stones in a month. If anyone can it's him. And you're going to love to listen to 50 flipping minutes of him clearing stones right now. Because who wouldn't? Find out about Richard's new Substack here https://richardherring.substack.com/about