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Sometimes a transformational breakthrough needs something surprisingly ordinary: a calendar appointment. Or a deadline. Or ten minutes of writing something absolutely terrible! Because the goal isn't always to feelfearless, become perfectly confident, or eliminate every obstacle. Sometimes the goal is simply to do the thing anyway. In today's episode, Michelle wraps up our week exploring theperformance gap through the Integrated Coach. After discovering the fear, perfectionism, and beliefs underneath her avoidance, our aspiring author may not need another profound conversation. She may need a practical plan thatallows her to act on her new awareness. Integrated coaching means knowing when to explore, when to challenge, when to support, and when to help someone move forward. And when old patterns return, we don't automatically assume failure.We get curious again. Because behavior is information, not a verdict, and real growth often looks like noticing the fear and choosing to act anyway. Questions or comments? I'd love to hear from you! [email protected] Want to become a more confident, capable, and intentionalcoach? Your next chapter starts with our January Coaching Academy!CA.GrowBy1.com Reflection Questions What tells me that a coachee has enough insight and nowneeds support turning awareness into action? How do I choose among structure, relational support, patternexploration, and identity work based on what the person needs now? What question could help a coachee turn a familiar avoidancebehavior into a cue for a different choice? How might I help a coachee recognize growth when fearremains but their response to it changes? When a coachee returns to an old behavior, how can I listenfreshly and help them choose their next step?

What if the reason you haven't finished that big dream isn'tbecause you lack discipline, but because finishing means someone might actually see it? And worse yet, they might have an opinion! Welcome to TransformationalThursday, where we're exploring what happens when our desire to succeed gets tangled up with our need to prove we're good enough. In today's episode, Michelle explores what happens when theperformance gap meets the Transformational Coach. Our aspiring author begins to realize that writing her book isn't just about getting words onto a page. It's about believing she has something worth saying, even when someone else mightdisagree. What if being ready doesn't mean being perfect or beyond criticism? What if success means having the courage to share something meaningful and imperfect? Sometimes the transformation isn't about becoming more productive.It's about becoming someone who is willing to be seen. Questions or comments? I'd love to hear from you! [email protected] Ready to grow beyond coaching techniques and develop yourcapacity to transform conversations? Join us in January! CA.GrowBy1.com Reflection Questions How might a coachee connect the outcome of a goal to theirworth, identity, or right to be heard? What question could help a coachee explore what they believe they must prove before sharing their work? How do I support a coachee in defining readiness forthemselves rather than imposing my own standard? What would change if a coachee’s next action became apractice in courage instead of a test of their worth? How can I recognize and support a shift in identity withouttelling the coachee who they should become?

What if procrastination isn't really about being lazy? Whatif all that planning, researching, revising, and preparing is actually protecting you from something? After all, nobody can criticize the book you never publish, the course you never launch, or the idea you never share. Pretty clever little protection system we've created for ourselves, isn't it? In today's episode, Michelle explores what happens when theperformance gap meets the Skillful Coach. Instead of focusing only on the unfinished goal, this coach begins noticing patterns across conversations. Perhaps the closer someone gets to sharing their work with the world, the morereasons they find to keep improving it. The goal isn't to label the person as a perfectionist or accuse them of sabotaging themselves. It's to help them recognize what their behavior might be protecting. Because when we understandthe purpose a behavior serves, we begin to discover new choices. Questions or comments? I'd love to hear from you! [email protected] Want to move beyond good questions into truly skillfulcoaching? Join our January Coaching Academy! CA.GrowBy1.com Reflection Questions What recurring patterns might I notice across a coachee’sdifferent goals and conversations? How can I share an observation about a pattern while leavingroom for the coachee to disagree or discover their own meaning? What might perfectionism, overplanning, or constantpreparation be protecting for this coachee? How do I decide whether a challenging question isappropriate for the relationship and the moment? Where in my own life might improving my work be keeping me from releasing it, and how could that awareness affect my coaching?

"I know, I know. I didn't do it." Have you everheard someone begin a conversation already defending themselves? When someone repeatedly fails to follow through on something they say they want, shame andfear of judgment can quickly enter the picture. And sometimes, the most important thing we can offer isn't another accountability question. It's a relationship where they feel safe enough to tell the truth. In today's episode, Michelle explores what happens when theperformance gap meets the Relational Coach. Maybe the person isn't simply too busy. Maybe they're secretly relieved when something interrupts their plans because they're afraid of discovering they aren't good enough. Relationalcoaching creates space for that honesty, but there's an important balance. Compassion should help people grow, not become another way to protect their avoidance. Sometimes we need enough compassion for the truth and enough truthfor growth. Questions or comments? I'd love to hear from you! [email protected] Great coaching starts with great relationships. Grow yourskills with us in the January Coaching Academy! CA.GrowBy1.com Reflection Questions How do I respond when a coachee admits feeling relief aboutavoiding something they say they want? What do I do to make it safe for a coachee to share fear,doubt, or competing desires? When might my reassurance move the conversation away from something the coachee needs to explore? How can I offer compassion without helping a coachee protect an avoidance pattern? What could I ask to hold both the coachee’s fear and theirdesire for growth in the conversation?

Have you ever worked with someone who says they really want something, but their actions keep telling a different story? They want better boundaries but keep saying yes. They want to grow their business but avoid making offers. They want to write a book, but somehow the laundry keeps gettingdone instead. Sound familiar? In today's episode, Michelle explores what happens when thisperformance gap meets the Structured Coach. Goals, plans, and accountability can be incredibly helpful, but what happens when we've made the same plan overand over and nothing changes? Sometimes the repeated lack of follow through is telling us something important. Rather than questioning someone's commitment or creating yet another schedule, perhaps it's time to get curious about what's happening between intention and action. Questions or comments? I'd love to hear from you! [email protected] Ready to turn great coaching intentions into real skills?Join us for the January Coaching Academy! CA.GrowBy1.com Reflection Questions When a coachee repeatedly does not follow through, whatassumptions do I make about their commitment? How do I determine whether a coachee needs a clearer plan or more exploration of what happens when it is time to act? What can a missed action step teach me about the gap between the coachee’s intention and behavior? Where might I be making another plan because planning feelseasier than staying curious? What question could I ask to help a coachee explore whathappened to the previous plan without judgment?

What does an Integrated Coach do when someone getsemotional? Everyone’s favorite answer: it depends. Sometimes we explore the emotion. Sometimes we provide structure. Sometimes we simply keep going. And sometimes good coaching means recognizing that the person may need support beyond what coaching can provide. In today’s episode, Michelle explores the discernmentrequired when emotion enters a coaching conversation. Integration means staying grounded enough to notice what is happening, what the person needs, and what your role is in that moment. We don’t have to fix every feeling, turn everytear into a transformational breakthrough, or make emotion disappear. Sometimes sadness is simply sadness. Someone can grieve and still move forward, feel deeply and still communicate clearly, and experience emotion while remaining effective. Sometimes the most developed thing we can do is remain steady enough for another human being to be human. Questions or comments? I’d love to hear from you! [email protected] Want to grow your confidence, skill, and capacity as acoach? The next Coaching Academy begins in January. Learn more and explore the 2027 Coaching Academy options at CA.GrowBy1.com. Reflection Questions What would you notice before deciding whether the coacheeneeds a pause, structure, deeper exploration, or a move toward action? How could you check what the coachee needs rather thanassume what their emotion means? What might alert you that support beyond coaching would beappropriate? Which of your own reactions to emotion could make it harderto respond intentionally? What would it look like to support a coachee who remains sadand is ready to act effectively?

Can you care deeply about someone without becomingresponsible for their outcome? That question can challenge more than a behavior. It can challenge how we see ourselves as leaders, coaches, parents, friends, and helpers. On this Transformational Thursday, Michelle explores whathappens when emotion becomes a doorway into identity. Our coachee begins to recognize that she has been measuring her success as a leader by whether the people around her succeed. But what if good leadership isn’t about controllingoutcomes? What if it means creating the conditions for people to grow while allowing them to remain responsible for their own lives? That shift opens the possibility of caring without carrying, supporting without overfunctioning, andleading with greater honesty, clarity, and freedom. Questions or comments? I’d love to hear from you! [email protected] Want to grow your confidence, skill, and capacity as acoach? The next Coaching Academy begins in January. Learn more and join us at CA.GrowBy1.com. Reflection Questions What beliefs about being a good leader might be underneaththe coachee’s emotional response? Where in your own life do you connect caring withresponsibility for someone else’s outcome? What question could invite the coachee to explore who theycould become without having to prove their worth through others’ success? How could a shift in leadership identity change thecoachee’s feedback, boundaries, or decisions? How would you give the coachee a choice about staying withdeeper exploration or moving toward action?

What if the emotion is real, but the story attached to itisn’t the only story available? Our coachee’s employee is leaving, and she feels like she failed. But “she is leaving” is a fact. “I failed” is the meaning she has attached to that fact. In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens whenemotion meets the Skillful Coach. By noticing language, separating facts from meaning, exploring responsibility, and gently identifying patterns, we can help someone untangle what they are experiencing without trying to talk them out oftheir feelings. Sometimes the goal isn’t to help someone feel better. It’s to help them feel more accurately. And sometimes that shift can turn “I failed” into something much more truthful: “I’m sad this ended differently than I hoped.” Questions or comments? I’d love to hear from you! [email protected] Want to grow your confidence, skill, and capacity as acoach? The next Coaching Academy begins in January. Learn more and join us at CA.GrowBy1.com. Reflection Questions How could you help a coachee separate what happened fromwhat they believe it means? What might you notice in phrases such as “I failed” or “Ishould have done more”? How could you help the coachee distinguish theirresponsibilities from another person’s choices? How might you invite exploration of a pattern withoutdeciding its meaning for the coachee? How would you know whether exploring an emotion is serving the current coaching goal?

What do you do when someone you care about gets emotional? For many of us, the instinct is immediate: reassure them, make them feel better, or somehow make the emotion go away. But sometimes being relational means resisting the urge to rescue. In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens whenemotion meets the Relational Coach. Trust, safety, and presence create a space where someone doesn’t have to apologize for being human. Instead of arguing with “I failed” by quickly responding, “No, you didn’t,” we can become curious about what that belief and emotion are telling us. Sometimes meaningful progress isn’t making someone feel better before the conversation ends. Sometimes it’s giving them a safe enough place to finally tell the truth aboutwhat they’re feeling. Questions or comments? I’d love to hear from you! [email protected] Want to grow your confidence, skill, and capacity as acoach? The next Coaching Academy begins in January. Learn more and join us at CA.GrowBy1.com. Reflection Questions How do you communicate that a coachee can safely expressemotion with you? When are you most tempted to reassure or rescue someone who is hurting? How might saying “No, you didn’t fail” close off somethingthe coachee needs to explore? What could you ask to understand what the coachee isgrieving? How would you recognize meaningful progress if the coacheestill felt sad at the end of the session?

What happens when the person you’re coaching suddenly starts crying, gets angry, or simply stops talking? Even a capable coach can have that moment of, “Oh my gosh, what do I do now?” In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens whenemotion meets the Structured Coach. Frameworks and processes can be incredibly helpful, but sometimes our desire to get back to the structure is really about making ourselves more comfortable. Emotion doesn’t automatically mean something has gone wrong, and it doesn’t necessarily mean we’ve wandered outside the boundaries of coaching. Sometimes the tears are not interrupting the coaching.They are part of it. The challenge is learning to stay present without panicking, fixing, rescuing, or rushing the person toward a solution. Questions or comments? I’d love to hear from you! [email protected] Want to grow your confidence, skill, and capacity as acoach? The next Coaching Academy begins in January. Learn more and join us at CA.GrowBy1.com. Reflection Questions What happens inside you when a coachee becomes emotional? When have you used a coaching framework to ease your owndiscomfort with emotion? How might moving too quickly toward solutions affect thecoachee? What would help you pause and stay steady before asking your next question? How could you make room for emotion while keeping thecoaching process available?

So, does a great coach ever give advice? The answer may be alittle more nuanced than simply yes or no. In today’s episode, Michelle brings “What do you think I should do?” to the Integrated Coach, where the focus shifts from following a rule to using discernment. Sometimes a question is exactly what someone needs.Sometimes it is silence, reflection, or an observation. And sometimes our experience or perspective may genuinely be helpful. The key is remembering that even when we have something valuable to offer, we do not own another person’schoice. Integrated Coaching protects their awareness, agency, and ownership while remaining flexible enough to respond to what they actually need. Because the goal isn’t to make people dependent on our answers. It’s to help thembecome increasingly able to hear and trust their own. Questions or comments? I’d love to hear from you! [email protected] Reflection Questions What happens inside me when someone I coach directly asksfor my opinion or advice? How can I tell whether sharing my perspective will expandsomeone’s thinking or become louder than their own voice? When I have relevant experience or expertise, how can Iclearly distinguish between coaching, mentoring, teaching, and sharing information? How comfortable am I allowing someone to make a choice that is different from the one I might make for myself? How can I help the people I coach build greater awareness,agency, discernment, and trust in their own thinking?

What if “What should I do?” isn’t really about the decisionin front of you? What if the deeper question is about who you believe you are supposed to be? In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens when thisquestion meets the Transformational Coach. A promotion may look like success on paper, but what happens when our definition of success, growth, or potential begins to change? Sometimes we discover that we have been trying to want what we think a successful person should want instead of becoming curious about what actually matters to us now. Transformational coaching isn’t about guiding someone toward the more enlightened choice. It’s about helping them see themselves, their beliefs, and their choices with greater clarity so they can decide from who they are becoming rather than who they once thought they had to be. Questions or comments? I’d love to hear from you! [email protected] Reflection Questions When I hear myself or someone else say, “I should wantthis,” what beliefs about identity, success, or worth might be underneath that statement? How has my own definition of success changed over time, andhas my identity fully caught up with that change? What am I still using as a measure of my potential or worththat may no longer fit who I am becoming? How can I help someone explore a deeper belief withoutbecoming attached to which decision they ultimately make? If I did not have to prove anything through the decision infront of me, what might I choose?

“I don’t want it, but I should want it.” Have you evercaught yourself saying something like that? In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens when “What do you think I should do?” meets the Skillful Coach and one little word opens the door to a much bigger conversation: should. By listening closely to language, energy, and even whathappens in someone’s body as they explore their options, a Skillful Coach can help uncover information that might otherwise be missed. Maybe the real question isn’t whether to take the promotion at all. Maybe it’s, “What doessuccess actually mean to me?” The goal isn’t to use our coaching skills to steer someone toward the answer we think is right. It’s to expand their awareness enough that they can discover their own. Questions or comments? I’d love to hear from [email protected] Reflection Questions What words such as should, have to, supposed to, always, ornever tend to get my attention when I am listening to someone? Where do the “shoulds” in my own life come from, and howoften do I stop to question them? How can I use reflection, observation, visualization, orother coaching skills to expand someone’s awareness without steering them toward my preferred outcome? When I think I see the answer for someone, how disciplinedam I about remaining curious instead of asking questions that subtly lead them there? What decision in my own life might look different if Istopped asking what I should do and instead asked what truly matters to me?

When someone asks, “What do you think I should do?” they may not actually be asking you to make the decision. They might be asking for reassurance, permission, certainty, encouragement, or simply a safe place to say what they are really thinking. In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens when that question meets the Relational Coach. Trust and connection can create the safety someone needs to be honest, especially when what they want is different fromwhat they think they should want. But there is an important balance here. The stronger the relationship, the more weight our opinions can carry. Sometimes the most supportive thing we can do is not give someone an answer, but createenough safety for them to hear their own. Questions or comments? I’d love to hear from [email protected] Reflection Questions When someone asks me what I think they should do, howquickly do I assume they are actually asking for advice? How well do I listen for the need underneath the question,such as reassurance, permission, certainty, support, or simply a place to think out loud? When I care deeply about someone, am I ever tempted torescue them from the discomfort of making their own difficult decision? How might the trust someone places in me increase theinfluence of even a casual comment or opinion I share? How can I create a relationship that feels safe enough forsomeone to become more confident in hearing and trusting their own voice?

“What do you think I should do?” It sounds like such asimple question, but for a coach, it can open up a whole lot more. Do you give your opinion? Ask another question? Toss it right back to them with, “Well, what do YOU think you should do?” and hope for the best? In today’s episode, Michelle explores what happens when thisquestion meets the Structured Coach. Protecting someone’s ownership of their decisions matters, but coaching isn’t simply about following the rule that good coaches never give advice. Sometimes the more important question is what the person is really asking for. Do they want an answer, another perspective, reassurance, permission, or simply help thinking through something that feels too close to see clearly? Before we respond, we may need to get curious about the need underneath the question. Questions or comments? I’d love to hear from you! [email protected]  Reflection Questions What happens inside me when someone I am coaching asks,“What do you think I should do?” Do I have a tendency to give advice too quickly, or do Ibecome so committed to not giving advice that I miss what the person actually needs? What might someone really be asking for when they ask mewhat I think they should do? How could asking, “What would be most helpful about hearing my thoughts?” change the direction of a coaching conversation? How can I protect someone’s ownership, awareness,responsibility, and agency while still being fully present and helpful?