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There aren’t words for today, just loosely connected thoughts and a deep, aching well of feelings. If you need a friend’s voice right now, here’s one. 💗 This episode was released earlier today on Patreon. 

Do women have hobbies? Do grown-ups know how to blow off steam? Is it possible to relax while both doing and NOT doing something? Let's dive in to what spring break could look like for grown-ups. Come back later this week for a meatier interview; in the meantime, let's imagine we've rented the largest beach house known to mankind and dedicated each room to a different fantastic activity. (Yes, napping is an activity.) I can't wait to hear what the perfect solo spring break would look like for you? (Solo meaning no partner, no kids, no pets, no mortgages, no responsibilities. Just you, maybe some like-minded ladies, and oodles of the snacks of your choice.) xoxo, A.

It wasn't an announced break, but we WERE on a break - and now it's over. Delighted to catch back up with you about how I've been, how you've been, how the world has been (eep), what the royals are up to, and what we can expect in the months ahead. Have missed you, friends! Episodes mentioned: Margot Guy's Long Road to Motherhood Oprah's Sussex Interview The update to Margot's episode will be available on Patreon early next month! If you'd like to participate in the "Postcards as Pick-Me-Ups" project, keep your eyes on my Instagram. Can't wait to send them everywhere!! xoxo

In the midst of a challenging season (say, facing your high school sweetheart's metastatic cancer diagnosis), it can be hard to see anything beyond the moment ahead. Envisioning the future, or even making it through the next step, can seem downright impossible. Megan Scherer knows that feeling well, and her family has used it to change the lives of others'. The Scherers' charity, Worth the Wait, provides emotional and financial support for cancer patients hoping to preserve their fertility or, once their health allows, grow their families through IUI, IVF, surrogacy or adoption. A single question from a doctor led Megan's husband to bank his sperm and leave the Scherers' options open post-cancer. Even so, it took seven IUIs and countless prayers before they were able to meet their miracle baby, Elliott. Though their initial hope had been to have a second baby, Megan says that isn't in the cards - and counsels friends, family, and curious fellow parents not to pry into others' family-planning. The Scherers' story is one of healing, hope, and offering the same to others. You can support Worth the Wait here and learn more about its work on Instagram. To support this podcast, visit our Patreon. If you'd like to subscribe to our forthcoming e-newsletter (think: royal gossip; is Jamie Lynn Spears a villain or a victim; what's your winning Wordle strategy; and how many times do people need to post their scores before they feel good about their puzzle-solving skillz?), visit ButNotAllAtOnce.com and drop your email address in the pop-up box. Chat with you soon! xo, A

Here's an extra chat for you this week based on a through-line in my conversations this week. My colleagues and friends (and I) seem to be feeling, thinking, crying over, looking like and worrying about things that may resonate with you too. Listen first, and then have a cookie. Take a nap. Send someone else a chicken pot pie. Ask for a break. Cry all the tears. Punch some pillows. Give yourself a sanity walk. DM me. Allow yourself to be an unkempt, actual hot mess - not an Instagram one. Or put on makeup and fluff your hair if that helps you! Just cope as you can. Grief can be a form of worship. At its heart, I believe, grief is gratitude - and right now we're all grieving something. Let's not do it alone. xoxo, Anne, who's trying

 In April 2019, Meredith Jaggard was fearless enough to join But Not All At Once as our first-ever guest. The podcast was just a concept then, and by pouring out her heart and her story, Meredith started it with a bang. Now she's back for more. Today we talk about the lives her words changed, an obituary I had to write, pandemic weight gain, modern marriage, and uprooting your whole life a second time to build a new one. Learn how she moved (again!) and continued to battle MS during Covid; how "newborn" Ellie is doing; what quarantine was like in a 900 square foot apartment in a new city; her reaction to her husband being asked if MS makes Meredith a "burden"; and what she thinks about your post-Covid beach body. This conversation was an absolute delight. Hopefully I muted all my typing as I furiously recorded her every quotable line! I also muted a few "adult" words - not because she didn't deserve to say them, or because I don't agree with her, but because I know you're probably used to playing our chats in carline. Since we recorded this conversation last summer for Patreon, Meredith has an even newer title: Executive Director for the UC Hastings Alumni Association at UC Hastings Law.  She also just began a doctoral program at (the West Coast) USC yesterday. No, I don't know how she juggles it all - but her honesty about things will reassure you that she's one of us. Who's starting the Meredith Jaggard Admiration Society, and do you need a president? (Start by finding her on Instagram as @meredithjaggard.) Other upcoming and returning guests, you'll hear mentioned: Mamie Morgan, who just got a book deal and made us all cry Kim Jamieson Crafton, a newlywed who owes us an update after her "singleness" episode Marquin Campbell, an artist whose family adventured in Spain through Covid Margot Guy, whose long road to motherhood has a new and happy chapter

Brooke Turner's story may be But Not All At Once's most downloaded episode ever - and for good reason. Describing herself as a "student of hope" despite unexpected widowhood and terminal cancer, Brooke shared words I revisit whenever I need a little perspective and a few hours with a friend. Today Brooke's sister, Liz, finishes her story with an update on the grieving, healing, joy-filled Turner/Fisher family of eight. She and her husband now have six children from third to sixth grades, and their life is as hectic and wonderful as it sounds. This week we pick up just before Brooke's passing and six weeks before the kick-off of Covid. If you're a Patreon subscriber, be sure your email address is up-to-date in your subscription! Later this month we'll launch an e-newsletter to chat about the awkward, insightful, intimate, or downright embarrassing stories too personal to share on the podcast at large. Plus book and movie recommendations, the best advice we never took, what we wish we could say to our younger selves and more. Patreon listeners will also hear updates this winter from beloved former guests April Robson, whom many of us have kept close to our hearts in recent months, and Margot Guy, whose long journey to motherhood has a delightful new chapter to share! Thanks for checking in over the podcast's holiday break; I'm excited to be back. See y'all here next week and on Instagram until then! xoxo

Brooke Turner's story may be But Not All At Once's most downloaded episode ever - and for good reason. Describing herself as a "student of hope" despite young, unexpected widowhood and a terminal cancer diagnosis, Brooke chose her words carefully and meant every one of them. It's a conversation I revisit when I need a few hours with a friend, and one of the great privileges of my life. Today Brooke's sister, Liz, steps away from her very full plate to give us an update on the Turner/Fisher family of eight. She and her husband are rearing six children from third to sixth grades while juggling moves, memories, grief, healing, and a metric passel of farm animals. Next week you'll hear even more from Liz on what Covid, lockdown, a sabbatical, six e-learners and a new farm brought her beautiful blended family. If you're a Patreon subscriber, be sure to listen to this week's bonus episode there! It's called "Things I Haven't Been Honest About Yet," and it's as revealing as it sounds. (Insert cringe emoji.) See y'all here next week! xoxo

Amber Michels, founder of The Peace of Mind Project and the forthcoming Lighthouse Effect, joins But Not All At Once to talk about women and work. Things you'll hear us touch on: -What is the Great Resignation, and why is it happening now? -"It isn't that complicated." Treating employees like humans, not machines, changes everything. -There's no such thing as a non-working mom. -Parental leave, healthy work environments, and work-life balance benefit employees regardless of whether or not they have children. -Caretaking is valuable, unpaid work - work largely done by women, whether they are mothers or not. -Women are loyal workers and emotionally connected to their work. Creating environments where they can thrive matters. You can learn more about The Peace of Mind Project here. Amber's newest layer of support for moms, The Lighthouse Effect, will debut its first woman-focused empowerment retreat from January 28th to 30th in downtown Greenville, SC. The weekend of yoga, dinners, connection, conversation - all things we need! - will also feature panel speakers like our very own Anne Smith. Follow The Lighthouse Effect on Instagram to learn more as details  emerge. To support But Not All At Once, and to hear next week's subscriber-only episode on narcissism and toxic relationships, visit our Patreon page.

In genuine irony, this episode was delayed a week after things did not in fact get easier. With both a new puppy and a new business, things felt flat-out wild. But we're back, and I'm reminding us all of what gets easier over time, just in case it's hard to imagine from deep in the trenches. If you saw my list on Instagram, you'll have a preview of what I mean. Parts of life, decision-making, body issues, communicating, self-care and even parenting do get easier over time. (Conversely, parts of parenting get more complicated and challenging over time too, so stay tuned on that front.) Overall, this is the antidote to my Things That Are Not Awesome video posted to Patreon yesterday. In today's episode, you'll hear me mention upcoming follow-up episodes with Brooke Turner's sister Liz; April Robson; Kim Jamieson; and an update from first-ever guest Meredith Jaggard that already lives on Patreon. If you didn't catch my recent interview on the Mama Needs podcast, please listen to the mix of self-care and '90s nostalgia I wax poetic about there; I believe every word. You can find it, as well as a few other interviews, on the As Seen On section of my website. Woven into today's chat are a few aspects of our family's story that may make more sense if you listen to background episodes from September 2020 (an interview by April Robson) and September 2021. If you're facing a hard season or swimming through the unthinkable, I hope they provide you a glimmer of hope. That said, you know best what you need; read each summary to determine if the content is more than your heart can handle in a tender spot.  You know where to find me until next week, friends... xoxo

October is Down Syndrome Awareness Month, and today But Not All At Once dives into the story of Katie Alice Walker and her beautiful third baby, Jayne. Katie Alice walks us through the shock and grief of an unexpected diagnosis and the joy of meeting a child whose name has been spoken by an entire community in prayer. There's beauty to be found even in the uncertain, unforeseen and just plain hard; Katie Alice's words are a testament to that. Whether your family has faced similar news, you want to support a friend in the trenches, or you hope to be an example of inclusion in your community, this discussion is for you. A few books Katie Alice recommends: Authentically Addie You're All Kinds of Wonderful Different - A Great Thing to Be! Almost Twins: A Story About Friendship and Inclusion If you're a parent who wants to connect with the Walkers, you can reach Katie Alice at @kacwalker on Instagram. As always, you can reach Anne at butnotallatonce.com or @butnotallatonce across social platforms. To support the podcast and hear monthly bonus episodes, subscribe to Patreon.com/ButNotAllAtOnce. If you enjoy But Not All At Once, would you please leave a five-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts? It elevates the podcast, gives potential guests a window into the show, and means the world!

Meredith Puckett joins But Not All At Once to answer listener questions about grief, loss, and the seemingly easy task of "feeling your feelings." It's everyone's go-to advice for women facing divorce, life change, loss, or parenting in a pandemic, but how exactly how do we do it? (For reference and as a caution for anyone who may need it, this episode includes general themes of grief around separation, divorce, and pregnancy/infant loss.) Later this month, Meredith will be on the podcast's Patreon for a more intimate discussion of narcissism, abuse, unhealthy relationships, and finding freedom. Anne's emails and DMs are open for your anonymous stories and questions. Your thoughts will be in good company; Meredith and Anne will touch on experiences from their own lives and circles of friends. To join the conversation and support the podcast, subscribe at Patreon.com/ButNotAllAtOnce. Podcasts to Listen to: · Last week's But Not All At Once episode, "What If You're Still Broken?" · Grief is a Sneaky B!tch · Grief Out Loud · Grief Is My Side Hustle · Grieving Moms Podcast · The Mother of All Losses · While We Are Waiting: Hope After Child Loss · Surviving Divorce Podcast · Brené Brown's Unlocking Us episode, "On Grief and Finding Meaning" Books to Read: · Good Grief by Granger Westberg · It’s OK That You Are Not OK by Megan Devine · Bearing the Unbearable by Joanne Cacciatore · Grieving is Loving by Joanne Cacciatore If you enjoy But Not All At Once, would you please leave a five-star rating and review on Apple Podcasts? It elevates the podcast, gives potential guests a window into the show, and just plain means the world!