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Does your relationship have "communication problems?" Do you often feel like your spouse is talking "at" you instead of "with" you? In this episode of the Soul Healing Love Podcast we explore with Amanda and guest speakers, Drs. Bev and Tom Rodgers, that communication problems are typically more than they appear on the surface. Most communication problems are not the inability to talk to each other, but an inability to recognize that we are filtering tough conversations through our past soul wounds, traumas, assumptions and projections. This can often lead to reactivity in both parties and a breakdown in communication as a result. The Rodgers go on to explain that there is healing when we dig deeper to understand our own wounds and take ownership of them using the Soul Healing Love Model. In a few practical steps, they give guidance on how to regulate your nervous system, take ownership of your fears, and create emotional safety in the relationship, so healthy communication can return.

So you've been listening to each episode of our ADHD Side Quest  (or you've been watching various reels on Insta or Tik Tok) and you think you may have ADHD. So now what?   Join host Amanda Cumbo as she is joined again by Rachel Cunningham as they talk through what to look for in a Clinical Assessment. They highly recommend someone who runs a battery of tests and has a lot of experience with both ADHD and Trauma. Why Trauma? Well, ADHD and cPTSD mirror each other in symptoms and you want to make sure a clinician can help distinguish between PTSD and ADHD.    It is also really important to have a clinician who understand how each part of the brain works and the neuroscience behind ADHD. They should have one or two interviews with you while also giving you several assessments; bonus if they talk to your current therapist and family members. Sadly ADHD-ers are not always the best at self-report, so the perspective of trusted loved ones is helpful.   And extra bonus if the clinician has ADHD themselves BECAUSE they can understand how masking comes into play for appointments. Rachel and Amanda talk through their professional frustration at sending clients for a confirmation of ADHD based on hours of time with the client only to have an assessor diagnose the client with something else because the client was masking. In fact, Rachel was so frustrated, she is now certified to provide ADHD assessments. So if you are in North Carolina, reach out and she can provide your official ADHD assessment!   Did you know The Soul Healing Love Podcast was named as one of the Top 60 Christian Counseling Podcasts? Learn more here: Feedspot: Top 60 Christian Counseling Podcasts   Learn more or Access our Online Courses and Books at  www.RodgersCC.Com

It can feel overwhelming and scary when you find out your kiddos are diagnosed with ADHD...so join Amanda and Rachel as we help you learn the keys to parenting for your neurodivergent kids!    One key is getting ADHD informed! The more you know about how your child's ADHD brain works so that you can enter into their way of thinking to move more in flow with them than thinking typical ADHD brain differences are a problem or a deficiency, which can result in unintentional shame on your kiddos.   It's also really critical to understand the genetic role in ADHD. It may even be worth getting yourself tested because ADHD is a highly genetic condition...you may have ADHD as well!    Also learn: --Tips for supporting Executive Function skills for your family --How Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD) and ADHD relate and how to move through the oppositionality --The way Pathological Demand Avoidance impacts getting things done and ways to work with your kids and choices    Did you know?? Soul Healing Love was named as one of the top 60 Christian Podcasts? Check out the full list here: https://podcast.feedspot.com/christian_counseling_podcasts/

Listen in on part 4 of the ADHD side quest as Amanda and Rachel talk about what it's like to date, mate and relate when one or both partners have ADHD. A huge difference is the way the love cocktail-yes the Love Cocktail-affects the ADHD brain differently and for a different period of time than it affects people with a more neurotypical brain. Because the chemicals in the love cocktail are natural stimulants, love can have an addictive quality for people with ADHD, and then the cocktail wains in the partner's absence, creating biochemical withdrawal. and this can cause the ADHD person to hyperfixate on their romantic interest and even appear as if they are love bombing their partners.   Other huge challenges: communication conflicts, how rejection sensitivity impacts perceptions of intent from each partner, how ADHD symptoms like impulsivity and forgetfulness can erode your partner's trust. As Rachel and Amanda continue to reiterate, "Neurodivergence is not Bad; It's simply different." And understanding paves the way to intimacy.   The key to developing a healthy relationship whether you have ADHD or your partner does is a huge dose of healthy ownership and then the willingness to develop the appropriate accountability and coping strategies to manage brain differences with grace and compassion.   And don't get the impression that ADHD in relationships is all bad! ADHD-ers are incredibly deep feelers with tons of love and empathy. When trust is built, your ADHD partner can offer a depth of love--and fun!--like no other.   Listen to learn more about how to spot and manage the ways ADHD affects your romantic relationship!

This is part 3 of of 6 on our Neurodivergent side quest, how ADHD affects boys and men. While women get "lost in the diagnostic shuffle", boys tend to get diagnosed early on because with testosterone they tend to be more likely to have the hallmark Hyperactivity and Impulsivity. They're more likely to be the kids that just can't sit still in class and blurt out answers, but while they're more easily diagnosed, they tend to bear so much more shame over the years.    So often when men come to counseling dealing with ADHD in adulthood they'll lament "I just don't think I'm where I should be in life" because of the societal standards imposed on these men early on. They also tend to have dopamine dysregulation which lends itself to addictive tendencies. They also can struggle with emotion regulation leading to anger outbursts and road rage.   As always, as well, ADHD is not all bad! Men with ADHD are creative, playful, and make fantastic entrepreneurs!   Learn more about ADHD in men…and maybe share with a friend!

Amanda is joined by Rachel Cunningham-two women with ADHD talking about how ADHD affects women specifically. It's not uncommon for girls and women to be misdiagnosed as ADHD presents differently for girls than boys, so many women find out later in life they their lifelong struggles are actually ADHD related. Amanda and Rachel share some of their own life experiences with time blindness, co-occurring anxiety, and increase rejection sensitivity. Learn common ADHD struggles as women progress through life into adulthood and motherhood and the role of shame in their lives and how Rachel and Amanda fight the shame. They also share how they uniquely have found ways to manage the forgetfulness and organization challenges common to ADHD-ers. Please listen, share, and let us know what you think!

Join Amanda as she embarks on a neurodivergent side quest with her neurodivergent bestie and fellow RCCA counselor Rachel Cunningham. Neurodivergence is a term that typically refers to people who have ADHD and/or autism and have a neurodivergent rather than neurotypical brain.  This particular neurodivergent side quest focuses on ADHD-and mirrors an ADHDers hyper focus special interest topic, where we with ADHD go down a rabbit hole on a novel favorite topic! Learn specifically what is ADHD, how dopamine affects the brain and the ADHD brain in particular, and begin to understand how neurodivergence affects the lives of so many.  This is the first in a six episode side quest on all things ADHD. If it's helpful, please share and follow so you don't miss more!

Happy Holidays from us at Soul Healing Love! Amanda is joined by Rachel Cunningham, a fellow therapist at Rodgers Christian Counseling with a helpful list of Do's and Don'ts for the Holiday season. Often times we enter the Holidays with unrealistic expectations and hopes for change that aren't based in reality. What you can expect of Uncle Joe is that he will mostly do what he's always done. Listen in for tips about how to have realistic expectations, topics to avoid and others to focus on, and ways to decide what are the healthiest boundaries for you to set with friends and family during the Holidays.

From the Archive…Listen to Amanda share thoughts on facing Grief. First, the grief that we all have faced in the years since Covid and all we lost living through a global pandemic. And then more recently as a nation we have faced mass shootings and natural disasters. In life, we are constantly faced with hardships and loss.   Amanda walks through the famous stages of grief as defined by the work of Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and shares how to walk through each stage of grief.   Grieving is facing the emotions-the Energy in Motion-in our minds and bodies as we heal by feeling. We have to feel the pain, the loss, the sadness along with any other emotions, while allowing them to move through our body. Listen to the full episode and see which practices help you move through losses in your own life.

Amanda is joined again by two of the amazing minds behind For Students, an organization dedicated to equipping students with tools for lifelong emotional health and suicide prevention. If you missed the tragic story of how Executive Director Whitney D'Allaird turned her pain into purpose after losing her oldest son Tyler to suicide, please listen to Episode 35. In this episode, Amanda talks again with Whitney and also For Students Programming Director Ed Williams on the talk that is at the heart of everything they do: Suicide Awareness and Prevention. They share their OARS method that they created along with Amy Work, LCMHC who is a member of the For Students Advisory Board.    OARS is a simple and effective way to know what to do if you suspect a friend or family member is struggling with thoughts of self-harm or suicide. In this episode you will learn to Observe: to know what are signs that someone is moving toward life-ending thoughts. We will teach you how and what to Ask if you suspect this. And contrary to some thoughts, asking someone will not give them the suggestion and make them more likely to hurt themselves, so practice Asking as Ed and Whitney guide listeners through those questions. From there, know when to Refer your loved one to a trusted professional. And finally Stay in Touch/Involved: community and presence can do so much.   To learn more about For Students and their mission to transform the emotional well being of students, please visit www.ForStudents.org or follow on Instagram @forstudentsclt   If you are struggling with thoughts of taking your own life, please reach out for help! Your life matters! Call a trusted friend and dial 988. You can also text  TALK to 741741.

TRIGGER WARNING: there is discussion of suicide, suicidal thoughts and other issues around the topic of suicide. Join Amanda as she talks with two amazing guests. She's joined by two great minds behind For Students, an organization dedicated to equipping students with tools for lifelong emotional health and suicide prevention.  Whitney D'Allaird is a wife, mother first and also Executive Director of this amazing organization. And Ed Williams is a former teacher and student leader turned Programming Director with For Students. Whitney and Ed share about the vision behind For Students and Whitney shares her family's story of loss of her beloved oldest son Tyler. She shares her pain, her grief and how ultimately this led her to start an organization in hopes that no parent would ever feel her pain again. Amanda leads a discussion around coming myths of suicide—things like "no one will miss me, I'm a burden, and suicidal ideas are just a means to get attention"—to help people further understand the complexity behind a person's desire to take their own life. Whitney and Ed offer insights into how they've had firsthand experience with students to help More people understand how to face suicidal thoughts in themselves and loved ones in hopes that their pain can be met and transformed. To learn more about Whitney and Ed's mission please visit www.ForStudents.org or Instagram @forstudentsclt If you yourself are thinking of taking your own life, please right now call a trusted friend, call 988, AND text TALK to 741741. Yes, please do all 3!! Because we promise whatever thoughts your suicidal self are telling you are not true. You are a life worth saving and you deserve to hear that from at least 3 sources! And… keep fighting! You are not alone.

We all have conscious and unconscious stories, reels, automatic reactions that are pasty of a bigger story we tell ourself. Brene brown describes a cu flight she had with her husband and from that fight forward they always say "the story I'm telling myself right now is…" So what stories are you telling yourself? That are actually part of a current neural network that you can change. Dr. Bev recounts some of the soul wound stories she heard spoken over her and how she began to rewrite her brain. And Dr. Tom shares wisdom he read of years ago that said "we view life through the presence or absence of negative" so what is your filter? What are you looking for? Once you realize the stories, how can you change these stories? First, bring awareness to your current story and then realize that you can now make new choices to do things differently. As these stories get activated, they are also clues to your soul wounds. Retelling and recontexting a new story helps you live a more fulfilled life free of past wounding.

Drs. Tom and Bev discuss principles behind Neuroplasticity, which is the ability to change and reshape your brain. Brain formation that  was once thought to be set and unchangeable in childhood - which kept Amanda from any heavy metal head banging - we now know is possible to change well into our lives. Neurogenesis, building new brain connections, is something that happens all the time. They also discuss neuroscience work from Dr. Caroline Leaf and Dr. Joe Dispenza that helps us to understand that our thoughts are powerful. Our thoughts dictate our emotions, and both thoughts and emotions dictate what body chemicals, good or bad, are released that then shape our chemistry AND our DNA expression. By changing our thoughts we can change our brain's neural wiring along with our bodies gene expression and biochemical state. Listen for more details on how to rewire your thoughts, emotions, brain and body today!

Current data trends indicate we as a culture are getting diagnosed more and more with mental health struggles. Be it Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Addiction, or anything else—so many more people are struggling today.  In this episode we share what it's like sitting in the therapist's chair helping clients face today's dilemmas. Dr. Tom shares a fascinating question from a client, "What makes you happy?" that he, Amanda, and Dr. Bev discuss. Dr. Bev addresses how the stigma around mental health has seemed to lessen, as she has seen people previously resistant to therapy come in recently. Whatever your current mental health, listen in as we offer trends, tips, and awareness to help you move toward a more resilient life.

Often, the focus in counseling and psychology is on the PROBLEM... but what are the hallmarks of a Healthy Life? Join in on the conversation as Drs. Tom and Bev discuss a list of basic needs that they have created over years of talking to people who have found these commonly missing in wounded living. This list also addresses Abraham Maslow's hierarchy of needs: when the base needs of Safety and Security are not first addressed, the others cannot follow. Further, if you did not have these needs met in childhood, it is difficult to offer them to yourself and others, or to even feel worthy of offering these things to yourself. As you listen to these basic needs defined, begin to reflect on how well you offer these first to yourself, and then to others.