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On this bonus episode, Heather comes clean about her recent realization and what she needs to do before the Absolutely Knot cruise in May 2027. She chats about her time in Cabo, LA and something top secret she did with Jackie Schimmel. One of the voicemails becomes Heather’s new favorite.  Episode Sponsors: Squarespace: Check out https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely Quince: Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is fired up after dealing with bratty trick or treaters for the 1st Halloween at her new home. She rocked the vote, had a little Mountazuma’s revenge over the weekend, but is ready to tackle Becky Robinson’s Entitled Weekend in Tulum. She takes voicemails about the 5 day work week, the difference between theatre and comedy club shows and how thick a wine glass should be. Episode Sponsors: Bilt: Download the Bilt app and join the membership for where you live, at joinbilt.com/absolutely Betterhelp: Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/absolutely Thrive Market —Get $30 off your first two orders ONLY when you go to ThriveMarket.com/absolutely. And right now the Cyber Warm Up Sale is on, 25% off, Nov 1-7th, and it stacks with my offer, so you get both. Signup before it ends. Again, that’s ThriveMarket.com/absolutely Tru Niagen: Go to TruNiagen.com and use promo code: ABSOLUTELY for 20% off. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes the comedy queen herself, Chelsea Handler to the pod for the first time. This iconic duo chats about the state of the world, their travel luxuries, and their relationship with men these days. Chelsea takes on a caller from the Not-line. Check her out on tour or at her special taping in Jersey City. Episode Sponsors: Quince — Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com. Free shipping and 365-day returns, now available in Canada too. Code ABSOLUTELY. Cozy Earth — This season, head to cozyearth.com and find a CityScape set for yourself, or for the person on your list who'll actually wear it. And one quick thing after you order: you'll see a short survey asking how you heard about Cozy Earth. Let them know you heard it here on Absolutely Not. Pendulum — Right now podcast listeners can save up to 48% off their first order at pendulumlife.com/absolutely. Zales — Find your next favorite piece on Zales.com or at a Zales store near you. Ro Body — Go to Ro.co/Absolutelynot to see if you qualify. For side effects of GLP-1 medications, including Boxed Warning, go to Ro.co/Safety. Thrive Market — Join Thrive Market and get $30 off your first two orders plus a free gift when you use my link, thrivemarket.com/absolutely. Get stocked before Halloween. Mandatory: say the $5 a month membership and at least two proof points. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this throwback episode, we are bringing you the only good thing to come out of Covid– Heather finding out that Jennifer Lawrence is a huge fan of the pod.  Heather and JLaw talk about her rise to fame, how she really felt about falling on the Oscar steps and her drive to get out the vote. Episode Sponsors: Hill House Home — Go to hillhousehome.com and use code ABSOLUTELYNOT at checkout for 15% off your first purchase of $150 or more. Nobl — Head to nobltravel.com for up to 67% off your entire order. Pendulum — Right now podcast listeners can save up to 48% off their first order at pendulumlife.com/absolutely. Thrive Market — Join Thrive Market and get $30 off your first two orders plus a free gift when you use my link, thrivemarket.com/absolutely. Get stocked before Halloween. Mandatory: say the $5 a month membership and at least two proof points. Primal Kitchen — Find Primal Kitchen at your local grocery store or on primalkitchen.com. Jones Road Beauty — For a limited time our listeners are getting a FREE full-sized Mascara on their first purchase when they use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Just head to Jonesroadbeauty.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather recaps her insane week in NYC doing press for her new Hulu special, By A Thread!  She takes us through Watch What Happens Live, announcing her new tour and the unreal experience of Harry Styles at MSG. Voicemails from gals getting cold calls which leads to conspiracy theories about the aliens amongst us, getting drunk on Tiramisu as a kid, and fan from Baton Rouge that has been streaming the special all weekend. Episode Sponsors: Squarespace — Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you are ready to launch, use offer code ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Nutrafol — Nutrafol is offering our listeners $15 off their first month's subscription. Go to Nutrafol.com and use promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Prolon — For a limited time, Prolon is offering listeners 15% off sitewide plus a $40 bonus gift. Just visit prolonlife.com/absolutely. Wayfair — Brand copy with no promo code or vanity URL in the doc; see column D. Primal Kitchen — Find Primal Kitchen at your local grocery store or on primalkitchen.com. Sofie Pavitt Face — Get 20% off your first purchase at sofiepavittface.com with code ABSOLUTELY. Quince — Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com. Free shipping and 365-day returns, now available in Canada too. Code ABSOLUTELY. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather talks about the pressure of getting the house decorated for Halloween.  The neighbors are doing construction and she is sitting in a house with no dining table, so the anxiety is high.  She takes on voicemails from gals with music suggestions and one that reminds you to google it yourself. Episode Sponsors: Quince — Find the fall pieces you will reach for most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. And when Quince asks where you heard about them, let them know it was Absolutely Not. Ro Body — Go to ro.co/absolutelynot to see if you qualify. Required legal: For side effects of GLP-1 medications, including Boxed Warning, go to ro.co/safety. Sofie Pavitt Face — Get 20% off your first purchase at sofiepavittface.com with code ABSOLUTELY. Bilt Rewards — Download the Bilt app and join the membership for where you live, at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Mint Mobile — To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com/absolutely. Required disclaimer, read verbatim: $45 upfront payment required (equivalent to $15/mo.). New customers on first 3 month plan only. Speeds slower above 40GB on Unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees and restrictions apply. Thrive Market — Join Thrive Market today during their 25% off Bars, Snacks and Sips Sale, now through October 17th, plus get $30 off your first 2 orders and a free gift when you use my link. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this bonus episode, Heather is excited to share extra Absolutely Not’s that people from her Atlanta show wrote in. She tackles people's critiques about the new pod refresh and reminds everyone that she is not a crime junkie. Episode Sponsors: Hill House Home — Visit hillhousehome.com and use code ABSOLUTELYNOT at checkout. Cozy Earth — Head to cozyearth.com and let them know you heard about them on Absolutely Not. Naturium — Give your skin the affordable, luxurious glow up it deserves. Go to naturium.com/absolutely for 10% off your first purchase today. Thrive Market — Get $30 off your first two orders at thrivemarket.com/absolutely with promo code ABSOLUTELY. It offsets the annual membership cost. Zales — Find your next favorite piece at zales.com, or at a Zales store near you. HomeServe - Join the millions of customers who trust HomeServe. For 50% less your first year, go to HomeServe.com/absolutely. Savings compared to renewal price. Void in Florida. Goodwipes - Want a free pack of Goodwipes? Buy any two packs, text your receipt, and get reimbursed for one. Head to goodwipes.com/ABSOLUTELY. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes everyone to the new studio! It’s a fresh start, but we are still fired up.   She chats about her upcoming shows, the Plague and of course, Gypsy Rose. We hear voicemails about women's hotel room safety, a girl who goes on an audition, and on that asks the questions: how did millennials used to pick up on trends without social media? Episode Sponsors: Zales — Find your next favorite piece at zales.com, or at a Zales store near you. Squarespace — Head to squarespace.com/absolutely for a free trial, and when you are ready to launch, use offer code ABSOLUTELY to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Nutrafol — Get $10 off your first month's subscription plus free shipping when you visit nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. BetterHelp — Visit betterhelp.com/absolutely. BetterHelp works with more than 125 health plan networks, and eligible members have an average copay of just $23 per session with insurance. No insurance, or outside the US? You can still get 10% off your first month. Merit Beauty — Right now Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their signature makeup bag free with your first order at meritbeauty.com. Knix — Head to knix.com and use code ABSOLUTELY for 15% off your order. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes Cortney LaCorte, the original Cheese Gal, from Nashville.  Her first cook book, Oversharing, is now a NY Times best selling cookbook. They chat about their love of martinis, umami flavors and a death row meal.  You will definitely get hungry listening to this. They take voicemails from people who hate a boring party, people who bring extra guests and their thoughts on a potluck. Episode Sponsors: Cash App — Download Cash App today and make your money work for you. New customers can earn $10 by using code CASHAPP10 at signup and sending $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, member FDIC. Pendulum — Save up to 48% off your first order at pendulumlife.com/absolutely Hill House Home — Visit hillhousehome.com and use code ABSOLUTELYNOT at checkout for 20% off your first purchase of $150 or more. Wacoal — Visit wacoal.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 10% off your first purchase. New customers only, limit one code per customer. Sofie Pavitt Face — Get 20% off your first purchase at sofiepavittface.com with code ABSOLUTELY. Mint Mobile — Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at mintmobile.com/absolutely Merit Beauty — Get Merit's signature makeup bag free with your first order at meritbeauty.com Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is back after a weekend in Mississippi and fighting for her life with her weekly sinus infection. She chats about ladies in the Delta, the Ole Miss Game as well as saying goodbye to the office studio. We have cruise updates and how she is ramping up for her special press tour. She has callers with chatty masseuses, nail issues, as well as some single guy friends who are coming on the cruise. Episode Sponsors: Find the fall pieces you’ll reach for most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com/absolutely. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely Right now, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Just visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Go to ButcherBox.com/absolutely to get $20 off your first box, plus your choice of free ribeye, new york strip, or filet mignon in every box for a year — with free shipping always. Download the Bilt app and join the membership for where you live, at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Use our link so they know we sent you. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this replay episode from March 2024, Heather welcomes Conor Wood to Absolutely Not and gives him some sage advice before he sets out on his first tour. Now a few years later, he has grown from Fibula to Dancing with the Stars. Episode Sponsors: Join Thrive Market today during their 25% off Healthy Reset Sale now through September 19th! PLUS get $30 off your first 2 orders when you use my link ThriveMarket.com/absolutely. These offers stack so sign up before the sale ends. Visit hillhousehome.com and use code ABSOLUTELYNOT at checkout for 20% off your first purchase of $150 or more. Go to ButcherBox.com/absolutely to get $20 off your first box, plus your choice of free ribeye, new york strip, or filet mignon in every box for a year — with free shipping always. Download the Bilt app and join the membership for where you live, at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Use our link so they know we sent you. Go to https://zbiotics.com/absolutely and use ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 15% off any first time orders of ZBiotics probiotics. Visit OliveandJune.com/ABSOLUTELY20 for 20% off your first System! Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather welcomes Justin Slyvester to the pod post Emmys!  After doing it up all night at the after parties, they kiki about how he got his start as a “lady-sitter” at crazy southern weddings, his cross-country move to be Kyle Richards assistant, and how they were both up for the co-hosting job at the Today Show. They get to your voicemails and chat about their love of taking fabulous vacations with rich white ladies. Episode Sponsors: Visit WACOAL.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 10% off your first purchase. Offer valid for new customers only. Limit one code per customer. Sign up and get 10% off at BetterHelp.com/absolutely.  Go to RO.CO/absolutelynot to see if you qualify. Join Wayfair Rewards today and get five percent back on every purchase. Head to Wayfair.com or shop the Wayfair app for all things home.  Want a free pack of Goodwipes? Buy any two packs, text your receipt, and get reimbursed for one. Head to goodwipes.com/ABSOLUTELY. For a limited time, save 20% on your first subscription order of AG1 Essentials at DRINKAG1.com/ABSOLUTELY. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is coming to you from the NYC studio fresh off some press interviews for her new special.  She chats about her amazing day at the US Open as well as getting into fights with boomers. She takes voicemails about boys at the gym, Facebook marketplace finds and is left with a very serious question, Where Is Megan?! Episode Sponsors: Find the fall pieces you’ll reach for most at Quince. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com/absolutely. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. Head to https://www.squarespace.com/absolutely to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain using code absolutely. Right now, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month’s subscription and free shipping when you visit Nutrafol.com and enter promo code ABSOLUTELYNOT. Go to ButcherBox.com/absolutely to get $20 off your first box, plus your choice of free ribeye, new york strip, or filet mignon in every box for a year — with free shipping always. Download the Bilt app and join the membership for where you live, at joinbilt.com/absolutely. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode, Heather is panicked after the passing of Dolly Parton and Tim Curry and is worried about who will be next. She is buying deep freezers, life straws and searching for sustainable beef. She takes voicemails from people wondering what we can eat, being a type B person, and a newlywed with some questions. We get a final voicemail that brings Heather to realization that we all need to stop bitching. Episode Sponsors: Go to ButcherBox.com/absolutely to get $20 off your first box, plus your choice of free ribeye, new york strip, or filet mignon in every box for a year — with free shipping always. Right now, Merit Beauty is offering our listeners their Signature Makeup Bag – which if you’ve seen it, it’s not just a make-up bag but really an accessory – free with your first order at meritbeauty.com. Right now, podcast listeners can save up to 48% off their first order at pendulumlife.com/ABSOLUTELY. Visit drinksilentflower.com/golf-widow and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 15% off your first order.  Just visit ProlonLife.com/absolutely to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift. Visit WACOAL.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 10% off your first purchase. Offer valid for new customers only. Limit one code per customer. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.

On this episode from July 3rd, 2019 Heather sits down with Jeff’s biggest crush of all time, Jennifer Love Hewitt.  They discuss how she went from Kids Incorporated to a top Hollywood producer and all around bad bitch. They talk about love, grief, family and laugh through the pain of Hollywood. Episode Sponsors: Visit WACOAL.com and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 10% off your first purchase. Offer valid for new customers only. Limit one code per customer. Goodwipes wants your booty to have a SCENTSATIONAL SUMMER! Buy any two packs of goodwipes at your favorite retailer, text them your receipt, and get reimbursed almost immediately for one of them. For more details, head to goodwipes.com/ABSOLUTELY. Visit drinksilentflower.com/golf-widow and use code ABSOLUTELY at checkout for 15% off your first order Upgrade your everyday. Download the Quince app for app-exclusive offers, or go to Quince.com/absolutely. Get free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK, too. Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode. Produced by Dear Media. See Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.