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For the first time in 300+ episodes, I'm doing something terrifying: I'm not releasing a podcast for three weeks. Philip and I are heading to Tahiti for our 25th anniversary, and somewhere between planning the trip and Googling whether our hotel had good Wi-Fi, I had a moment: Girl. What the hell are you doing? When you build an entire podcast around going Off Duty, eventually you have to actually… go Off Duty. So I am. And no, it's not because I've "earned" three weeks off. That's the exact b******t I'm trying to stop buying into. If rest only comes after everything is done, we're all screwed. There will always be another email, another person who needs something, another Target run for the one thing you forgot on the last Target run. Your to-do list is never going to tap you on the shoulder and say, "Excellent work. Go to Tahiti." At some point, you have to decide you're done. In this Off Duty episode, I'm talking about what it's taken for me to actually clock out, why I'm not doing a dramatic digital detox (I'll have my phone. I won't have my inbox.), the boring health stuff that comes with me no matter where I go, and the question I want you thinking about while I'm gone: What are you afraid would happen if you made yourself unavailable? Maybe not for three weeks. Maybe for an afternoon. Maybe for an hour. Pick one thing you're convinced can't function without you and let it function without you. See what happens. As for me? I'm going to eat the food, drink the drinks, read the books, stare at the water and hopefully forget what day it is. While I'm gone: Binge an old episode, leave a review, or join the Off Duty Club Off Duty Life will be back November 4. Until then, friends… I am officially OFF DUTY. Links FREE Guide 7 Ways to Take Your Brain Off Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic Tik Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@kimbarnesjefferson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kimjeffersoncoach/

Everybody hands you a college packing list. Nobody hands you the one that says "by the way, your whole day is about to rearrange itself without asking." This week I'm joined by Allison Goldberg, aka Life Coach Ally, life coach and host of Life After Launch, to talk about what actually happens when the kids leave, the bedroom goes quiet, and the kitchen is suspiciously crumb-free. We get into: The moment it really hits (spoiler: it's not the one you'd guess) How manage kids who ghost you How dads feel it too, just differently Why reinvention doesn't need a Cinderella moment The best (and worst) things about a house with no one yelling "what's for dinner?" Whether your nest is emptying, already empty, or you're just in a midlife "who am I now" era, pour something good and come sit with us. Links Website: www.lifecoachallisongoldberg.com Instagram: @‌lifecoachally | @‌navigatingthelaunch Facebook: Life Coach Allison Goldberg | Navigating the Launch TikTok: @‌lifecoachally The Empty Nest Reset: Rediscovering Your New Normal: An Interactive Workbook on Surviving After College Drop-Off https://link.amazon/B0gijIrKi Kim 's Links Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic Tik Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@kimbarnesjefferson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kimjeffersoncoach/ What Room In Your House Needs Attention https://kimbarnesjefferson.lpages.co/room-quiz

What happens when the life or relationship you chose years ago no longer feels like yours? In this Off Duty Life episode, I'm joined by self-trust and relationship coach Mikahla Kate to talk about the messy middle between "something isn't right" and making a life-changing decision. This isn't a conversation about telling women to stay or go. It's about slowing down long enough to understand what you actually want, what you've been tolerating, and whether you're following a blueprint you didn't consciously choose. We talk about: · The difference between a rough season and a relationship you've outgrown · Why making the decision isn't the same as doing the deeper work · How childhood patterns can shape the partners we choose · What happens when only one person is willing to reflect and change · Why you can't schedule healing between 1:00 and 3:30 and call it handled · The danger of choosing the same relationship in a different outfit · How small acts of self-trust help you hear your own voice again · Why rediscovering yourself doesn't require blowing up your life or booking a retreat in Bali · The question we eventually have to ask: Am I tolerating my life or actually living it? Sometimes the first step isn't making a decision. It's getting quiet enough to hear what you already know. Connect with Mikahla:Instagram: @thrivewithmick TikTok: @thrivewithmick Connect with Kim: Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic Tik Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@kimbarnesjefferson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kimjeffersoncoach/ Off Duty Club https://theoffdutylife.com/odc_sept If your life was a house, what room needs your attention? https://kimbarnesjefferson.lpages.co/room-quiz_podcast free quiz

What happens when the woman who can get a ridiculous amount of shit done has no idea what she does for fun? After moving to Florida, leaving in-person training, and watching Philip retire, I suddenly had something I wasn't used to: space. I didn't know what to do with it. In this Off Duty Life episode: what happens when the life you've carried for years stops fitting, the questions I've been asking myself to figure out what's next, and how I reluctantly became a pickleball person. Plus why my weekend is now Tuesday and Wednesday, and the one question that might have you rethinking something you've been automatically renewing for years. Press play and let's figure out what this next chapter could look like, without turning it into another damn project.

Ever replayed a mistake so many times it deserves its own Netflix series? At some point, you're not learning from the past. You're just reviewing the footage. This week I'm talking with Scott Dotson, author of Par for the Soul and founder of Own Your Headspace. We get into what happens when you stop obsessing over the last shot and ask a better question: what's next? We talk about letting go of a bad round without needing a perfect ending, why your old definition of success doesn't have to follow you forever, and what golf can teach you about screwing up, adjusting, and hitting the next shot anyway. Sometimes you're in the trees, not the fairway. Take the lesson. Leave the rest. And play the damn ball from where it landed. Links Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic Tik Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@kimbarnesjefferson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kimjeffersoncoach/ Off Duty Club https://theoffdutylife.com/odc_sept website: http://ownyourheadspace.com instagram: @‌scottdotson67 Facebook: Scott Dotson + Own Your Head Space book - Par for the Soul available on amazon https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0GY7DXRVG

What happens when you're really, really good at getting shit done... but not so great at doing things for absolutely no reason? While packing for my move, I found a box of 30-year-old letters and postcards and did something wildly rebellious: I sat down in the middle of the day and read them. Boxes were everywhere. According to Philip's spreadsheet I was behind. And I didn't care. That little interruption got me thinking about how good we've become at being useful. We work, remember the appointments, make the reservations, get our steps, keep track of the toilet paper... and somewhere along the way, even fun started needing a purpose. So this Off Duty Life podcast episode is about what happens when you get more freedom in your schedule than you know what to do with. I tried mahjong. I tried pickleball. I tried golf. I was bad at all three and didn't need to be good at any of them. Turns out enjoying your life while some shit stays unfinished might be the actual goal. No app. No portal. No homework. No 12-week plan for becoming excellent at relaxing. Just a little interruption in your regularly scheduled productivity. Your experiment this week: leave one thing undone and use that time for something that accomplishes absolutely nothing. The laundry will survive. I have faith in it. And speaking of doing nothing productively, that's basically the whole premise behind the Off Duty Club, my brand-new quarterly snail-mail club. Founding season is $10, then $27/quarter. First round closes September 9th. https://theoffdutylife.com/odc_sept Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic Tik Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@kimbarnesjefferson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kimjeffersoncoach/

Why Fit Girl Magic Is Becoming Off Duty Life After 7 years and nearly 400 episodes, the podcast has a new name. And no, I didn't just get bored and decide we needed a new logo. I wanted a bigger conversation. Yes, we're still going to talk health, menopause, food, workouts, sleep, all of it. I'm not escorting protein and strength training from the building. We're just making the room bigger. Because somewhere along the way, I realized I'm less interested in helping women cram one more healthy habit into an already packed life and way more interested in this: Are we actually enjoying the life we're working so damn hard to manage? In this Off Duty Life episode, I'm talking about what sparked the shift: moving to Florida knowing approximately zero people, Philip retiring, and realizing I had a much easier time answering what do I need to do? than what do I actually like doing? We're getting into: Why being "on duty" is about more than your to-do list The giant mental Jenga game so many women are playing every day Why a 30-minute workout doesn't need an apology Why sitting on your ass is, in fact, a perfectly acceptable plan What "Off Duty" actually means (spoiler: no coconuts required) Where the podcast is headed next: friendships, marriage, sex, starting over, and figuring out what the hell we actually enjoy Your first Off Duty Experiment: Name three things you want to do in the next 30 days simply because you'd enjoy them. They don't need to improve you. They don't need to make you healthier. They don't need to make you money. Nobody else needs to benefit. If your first thought is I have no freaking idea, that's exactly why we're having this conversation. I'm also sharing a preview of what else is coming in the Off Duty world, including something involving an envelope, a stamp, and your actual mailbox. Yep. Snail mail is making a comeback. Want to know what's coming in the mail? Join the Off Duty Club: https://theoffdutylife.com/odc_sept We've spent enough years being on duty. Let's figure out what happens when we clock out. Come hang with me Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic Tik Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@kimbarnesjefferson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kimjeffersoncoach/

If your life were a house, which rooms have you been spending the most time in? And which ones have you been walking past, telling yourself you'll get to them someday? For years, my health and fitness room was very impressive. Strength training, protein, two-hour workouts, discipline you could see from space. I lived in that room like it was a studio apartment, even though I had a beautiful house. I just never explored the other rooms. Meanwhile, the rest, fun, friendship, and new experiences rooms were down the hall collecting dust. This episode covers: Why your routine isn't broken, it's just expired The difference between health supporting your life and health being your whole personality The four rooms you might be avoiding: rest, play, connection, and someday What it actually looks like to change with your life instead of fighting it How to stop treating your life like a renovation project that's never done You don't need to bulldoze the house or start another 12-step morning routine. Pick one room. Open the door. Give it ten minutes. Take the free "What Room in Your Life Needs Attention?" quiz: https://kimbarnesjefferson.lpages.co/fflpersonaquiz_podcast If this one landed, send it to a friend who could use permission to live in more than one room

What happens when you want your marriage to change, but your partner has zero interest in counseling, personal development, or doing a relationship workbook after dinner? Are you stuck waiting for them to get on board? Marriage coach Julie Tran says no. Julie's own marriage reached a point where she and her husband loved each other, but didn't particularly like each other. They were having the same arguments, walking on eggshells, and feeling more like roommates than partners. She wanted to work on the relationship. He wasn't exactly racing to join her. So Julie stopped waiting for him to change and started looking at what she could do differently. In this Fit Girl Magic podcast episode, we talk about how one person can begin changing the dynamic of a marriage without taking responsibility for the entire relationship. Julie also shares her three-step Beautiful Boundaries Blueprint for expressing what you need without turning every conversation into an indictment. We get into: Why long marriages can start feeling more like roommate arrangements What happens when you're keeping score and you're clearly winning How to stop having the same argument dressed in different clothes Why your partner's annoying habit is rarely the real problem How to make a request without blaming, demanding, or starting round 47 The difference between doing your part and doing all the work What sesame seeds, coffee slurping, and a spotless kitchen can teach us about love If you've ever thought, I want this marriage to feel better, but I can't be the only one trying, this episode may help you see what's still within your control. Links Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic Tik Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@kimbarnesjefferson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kimjeffersoncoach/ What room needs your attention – FREE quiz https://kimbarnesjefferson.lpages.co/room-quiz_podcast Julie's website www.gooeylove.co Her book https://atigbranding.myflodesk.com/supporttheauthors

Quick question... What do you do for fun? Not exercise. Not running errands. Not hanging out because someone else wanted to. You. If your brain went completely blank, this episode is for you. Somewhere between careers, kids, partners, aging parents, and keeping everyone else's life running, a lot of us stopped asking what we actually enjoy. We got really good at being responsible... and kind of forgot how to play. In this episode, we're talking about: Why so many women can crush a to-do list but struggle to answer, "What sounds fun?" How my move to Florida made me realize I'd let health become my hobby... and my entire identity. Why you don't need to discover your forever hobby. You just need to get curious again. My very average attempts at pickleball, mahjong, and the hobbies that definitely aren't making the cut. A simple experiment to help you reconnect with the part of yourself that isn't trying to be productive all the time. Because maybe you don't need another plan. Maybe you just need to remember how to have fun again. Give it a listen, then take the free quiz: What Room in Your Life Needs Attention? https://kimbarnesjefferson.lpages.co/room-quiz_podcast It's zero homework and it'll tell you exactly where to start. Then tell me: when was the last time you did something just because it made you smile? Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic Tik Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@kimbarnesjefferson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kimjeffersoncoach/

Have you built a beautiful life but gotten so busy managing it that you forgot to actually enjoy it? In this Fit Girl Magic episode, I'm talking with Latesha Lynch about why joy, rest, and pleasure keep getting shoved into the "someday" pile. We unpack the invisible stress we swear we don't have, why sitting down can feel strangely uncomfortable, and how we've managed to turn self-care into yet another checklist. We also talk about experimenting with hobbies without immediately buying all the equipment, joining the league, and making it your entire personality. You're allowed to try something and decide you hate it. You're also allowed to sit on your couch without explaining yourself to a committee. Inside this episode, we get into: · Why a happy life can still be a stressful one · The difference between building a good life and being present enough to enjoy it · How tiny moments of joy can create an "upward spiral" · Why rest doesn't require a signed permission slip · How to figure out what you enjoy, not what Instagram says you should enjoy · Why your hobbies, routines, and needs are allowed to change · Latesha's five "unbothered types" and how her quiz helps you discover yours · How one small moment of silly can make an ordinary day better If your body is begging you to sit your ass down while your brain keeps whispering, "Just one more thing," press play. Then take my free quiz, What Room in Your Life Needs Attention? It'll help you see which part of your life has been quietly collecting dust while you've been busy handling everything else. You'll also find Latesha's quiz and information about her mail club linked below. Links: Latesha Lynch Tik Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@bankedandbalanced Instagram https://www.instagram.com/bankedandbalancedclub Substack https://bankedandbalanced.substack.com/ Banked and Balance Mail Club https://bankedandbalanced.com/club Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic Tik Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@kimbarnesjefferson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kimjeffersoncoach/ FREE Quiz, What room in your life needs a little attention https://kimbarnesjefferson.lpages.co/room-quiz_podcast

Ever researched something so hard you could teach a TED talk on it… but still haven't actually done the thing? Meet Itchy-Feet Iris. She's got the screenshots, the podcast queue, the pros-and-cons list, and 17 open tabs. What she doesn't have? Certainty. And that's the one thing she's waiting on before she'll move. This episode's about the difference between gathering information and collecting permission. Because life isn't a final exam, and nobody's standing next to you with a red pen. You'll hear: Why smart women get stuck researching instead of doing One question that tells you if you need more info — or just permission Why "someday" is where good ideas go to collect dust Why a small experiment beats another pros-and-cons list Your experiment this week: pick one "someday" thing and experience it instead of researching it. No new tab. No asking five more people. No ChatGPT rabbit hole. One small move. You didn't fail. You found out. Stop researching and find out which room's missing, take the quiz below. https://kimbarnesjefferson.lpages.co/room-quiz/ Until next time: trust your gut more, Google less, and pick curiosity with a side of courage.

Remember when adulting meant bringing a calculator to the grocery store so you didn't have to put things back at checkout, and wondering why it cost so much just to turn on the lights? Parents don't want to watch their kids struggle the way they did. So, they help. Proofreading the resume, that's normal. Making the follow-up phone call for them? That's where it gets murky. Parents step in because they love their kids. But when does helping stop helping? I don't have kids myself, but I do get a front row seat watching friends and clients live this exact thing right now. So, I brought in career coach and former recruiter Liz Lewine, she's interviewed thousands of candidates over 20 years, to talk about what she's actually seeing with teens and young adults entering the workforce, the skills they're missing, and the ways well-meaning parents get in the way without realizing it. We get into: A degree gets them in the room. It doesn't get them the job The soft skill employers actually want? Showing up and being easy to work with. That's it. Let them fail. It's the fastest way they'll ever learn anything, and yes it's going to kill you a little to watch. How to help them become independent without feeling like you shoved them off a cliff What to actually do if your adult kid's back living in your house One question to ask yourself before you jump in to "help" If your kid's headed to college, just graduated, or you're quietly plotting how to get Johnny off the payroll this one's for you. LinksConnect the Liz https://lizlewine.com/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/lizlewine/ Facebook https://www.facebook.com/liz.feigert Linkedin https://www.linkedin.com/in/liz-lewine-461b82/ Connect with Kim Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic Tik Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@kimbarnesjefferson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kimjeffersoncoach/ https://kimbarnesjefferson.lpages.co/fflpersonaquiz_podcast free quiz

No phone. No podcast. No folding laundry while pretending you're relaxing. Just sit. If you immediately thought, Girl, please. I have things to do, this episode might be for you. Today, I'm introducing you to another woman I've met again and again over my nearly 20 years of coaching. Her name is Burnt-Out Brenda. And I know her very well because I spent decades being her. What happens when the thing everyone praises you for might also be the thing wearing you out? If sitting still for 10 minutes sounds harder than your workout, press play. You might want to meet Brenda. And after you listen, take my What's Missing From Your Life Right Now? quiz to find out who might be driving your bus right now. The link is below https://kimbarnesjefferson.lpages.co/fflpersonaquiz_podcast Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic Tik Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@kimbarnesjefferson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kimjeffersoncoach/

Have you ever caught yourself saying, "That's just who I am," or "I've always been this way"? What if that story is the very thing keeping you stuck? This week, I'm joined by business psychologist Ryann Gillen for a conversation about identity, mindset, and why lasting change has so much less to do with willpower than we've been led to believe. While Ryann works with entrepreneurs, the ideas we discuss apply to every area of life, including your health, relationships, career, and the way you see yourself. One of my biggest takeaways from this conversation was this: the things you think other people are judging you for are often the judgments you're already holding about yourself. Once you hear Ryann explain it, you'll never look at self-talk the same way again. We also unpack why "just try harder" is terrible advice for most women. If you've convinced yourself you're a bad sleeper, an emotional eater, or someone who just isn't consistent, your brain will keep looking for evidence that those stories are true. In this episode, we discuss: Why hustle and alignment aren't actually opposites When moving the goalpost is healthy, and when it's driven by fear Why regulating your nervous system comes before changing your habits How your identity shapes your behaviors and ultimately your results Practical ways to start rewriting the stories you've been telling yourself If you've ever wondered why knowing what to do isn't the same as actually doing it, this episode is for you. Links TikTok: Ryann | Business Therapist on TikTok Instagram: ⁠https://www.instagram.com/ryanngillen⁠ Facebook: ⁠https://www.facebook.com/ryanngillen YouTube: ⁠Ryann Gillen Facebook group https://www.facebook.com/groups/fitgirlmagic Tik Tok https://www.tiktok.com/@kimbarnesjefferson Instagram https://www.instagram.com/kimjeffersoncoach/ Free Quiz https://kimbarnesjefferson.lpages.co/fflpersonaquiz_podcast Feet Up Summer https://kimbarnesjefferson.lpages.co/feetupsummer