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At what point does your teething toddler become a tiny, food-aggressive piranha? And more importantly, are we biting our kids back or is that frowned upon these days? This week, we're questioning just about everything. Screen time, homeschooling, the price of keeping your kids happy, and how becoming a parent somehow turns you into the person you swore you'd never be. Monica's recapping vacation, we're discussing why traveling in the States practically requires a second mortgage, and somehow we're back to our regularly scheduled programming of questionable wildlife encounters. We're also getting into the realities of caring for aging family members and asking the important question: are we the reason our husbands are going gray? Both have the salt-and-pepper hair and beards to prove it. Meanwhile, we haven't aged a day. Coincidence? We think not. Are we overthinking everything? Probably. Are we going to stop? Absolutely not.

Apparently this week we’re wildlife rescuers, professional bad-decision makers, and experts on everything wrong with society. Naturally. We’re swapping family stories that somehow involve rescuing baby birds, burying said baby birds (RIP), and revisiting the era when Heelys and hoverboards were apparently acceptable forms of transportation. Because nothing says “childhood memories” quite like wheels strapped to your feet and absolutely no concern for personal safety. Then things take a turn, as they usually do. We’re talking Euphoria, drugs, OnlyFans, and the very weird experience of realizing that becoming parents has completely changed the way we look at things we probably wouldn’t have thought twice about ten years ago.

Is there ever such a thing as too much cake? We firmly believe the answer is no. This week we're celebrating Monica's big 4-0 (and pretending we're somehow old enough to be having that conversation when we obviously still look 21). From birthday festivities and indulgent desserts to beauty talk, hilarious family stories, and questionable life choices that somehow make for great stories now, we're covering it all. We also dive into a more serious conversation about online safety, a controversial new self-defense device that's got everyone talking, and celebrate a few sweet baby milestones along the way. This was also supposed to be the June episode…oops.

Did I completely forget to upload this podcast last Friday? Yes. Did I have to set a reminder to post it today? Also yes. This episode starts off as Questions & Confessions and somehow spirals into Robyn Rants™ about Fort Worth traffic, the Stockyards, motherhood, friendships, cheating, boundaries, and whatever else we decided to emotionally unpack that day. Honestly…we covered a lot. Good luck and Godspeed, Scallywags.

If ya’ll haven’t heard about the cornhole guy who killed someone, we gotchu. On top of that fascinatingly strange story we go over our family vacations and how I rebranded Mardi Gras to a tractor parade, and how Monica is in need of a hip replacement because her kids will not stop. Being a parent is still wild and we need cocktails and coffee to get through it all! Buckle up!

Well we start this episode out with a bang, or should I say rip…What do you think would hurt worse, emergency C-section or your labia being ripped off? Anyways… From there we spiral into the usual chaos. Pregnancy brain, Botox timing, early parenthood, pet drama, and the general circus that is life lately. We do manage to get serious for a hot second talking about kids being mean and a wild documentary about a neighborhood shooting… but don’t worry, that maturity doesn’t last long. Five minutes later we’re back to cackling like the Scallywags we are.

Well. We’re back. Again. And in true Scallywag fashion, we did not do it quietly. In this episode, we finally explain ourselves. Yes, there was a secret pregnancy. Yes, there is now a whole human named Truett. No, I did not see that plot twist coming either. We’re talking: • explosive diaper blowouts that should qualify as natural disasters • changing-table rage. Count your days, Koala Care. • what happens to your marriage when you introduce a tiny boss with no communication skills • home renovations • family members lighting themselves on fire?? • and how becoming a parent rearranges your brain, your schedule, and basically your entire personality It’s chaotic. It’s us. Just with more burp cloths and fewer martinis. New season. Same scallywags. 🥂

Strap in (and pour up), because Corks in Cowtown is back with another episode of unfiltered chaos featuring Robyn and Monica. From allergy-ridden intros and way too much caffeine to French lobsters (oui, really) and a possum who’s apparently paying rent, it’s the usual circus. We spill on tipping drama, nature docs that made us question our life choices, and kid “performances” so wild you’ll wish they’d stuck to TikTok. Hear Monica’s shocking rise to podcast fame at the elementary school drop-off, plus a round of Hans-isms that prove marriage is for the brave. There’s backyard WWII headstone drama, in-law escapades, and some truly scandalous penguin struggles—because, why not?

Pop the bubbly—Questions + Confessions is back, and so are Monica and I with another round of chaos, questionable choices, and unsolicited opinions. This week’s episode dives into the important stuff: like whether it’s acceptable to make a life-altering decision during your wedding ceremony, how not to get arrested in Baltimore, and why every office apparently comes with a built-in crush. From travel meltdowns and parenting gray areas to the gym’s real appeal (hint: it’s not the treadmill), we’re dishing out personal stories, spicy confessions, and the kind of advice that should come with a warning label. Oh—and someone may or may not admit to lying to their husband on their wedding day. We’re not saying who… but it wasn’t Monica. Tune in for laughs, maybe a few gasps, and a lot of “did they really just say that?” Yes, yes we did.

In this lively episode of Corks in Cowtown, Monica and I are back behind the mics, ready to share our hilarious stories and everyday mishaps. We dive into a list of quirky pet peeves, from the ridiculousness of vanity license plates to the mystery of Jeep rubber duck collections. Ever wondered why wasp nests are sold as decor or why window tinting laws make no sense? We've got you covered. We recount my first misadventure of running out of gas in remote Kansas, while I dish on surviving lackluster massages and culinary disasters. Plus, we tackle the absurdity of paying for air and explain why we'd much rather sip wine while navigating life's oddities. Tune in for our unfiltered take on the everyday annoyances and our wild plan to rate Fort Worth's latest dining spots.

Pour yourself a drink because this episode is serving up relationship debates, absurd hypotheticals, and life lessons you definitely didn’t ask for. Questions + Confessions is BACK and we’re talking about commitment—because, let’s be real, some of y’alls dates treat relationships like free trials with no intention to subscribe. Ever wondered if a dolphin would play the trumpet with its mouth or its blowhole? No? Well, we’re diving deep into that debate anyway. Plus, we’re curating the ultimate funeral playlist—because if we’re going out, we’re going out with a banger. This might be a shorter episode, but it’s packed with personal confessions, off-the-wall tangents, and just enough wisdom to make your therapist proud. It’s time to hit play, let’s get into it!

Well y’all, it’s been a MINUTE, and we’ve got some catching up to do. Spoiler alert: I somehow managed to get engaged, married, AND move to Kansas all in the span of eight months—who saw that coming? Not me, especially since my proposal happened on literally the worst day of my life. Meanwhile, Monica’s out here thriving in mom life… but also ready to put her kid out on the street over a potential lice situation (honestly, fair). Let’s dive into all the life changes, unexpected twists, and what it’s really like going from city life to country chaos. From wrangling small-town quirks to surviving motherhood, this episode is full of unfiltered stories, laughs, and of course, scallywag energy. Pour a drink (or three) and let’s catch up! We missed ya’ll!

We missed y’all and decided we’d take it easy on the cocktails this round, and just go HAM on coffee instead. Make sense right? Talk Derby to Me was AWESOME! Thank y’all so much for continuously showing up and supporting the podcast. Now, what shall we plan next… Monica and I reminisce about the absolute menaces we used to be. And decided we should still consult legal counsel before sharing all the details. Have you ever witnessed a turkey contemplating life choices? I’m ready for brunch with an alien, I hope they like champagne. We talk about a trip we took to New Orleans and how we’ve never had our egos stroked more. And what does a toilet seat have to do with it? I had a matrix moment and am still VERY confused about what happened.  In other news, we want to share a fundraiser that is coming up Tuesday, June 4th at Marty B’s. “Battle for Bobbitt” will be hosted by the Flower Mound Firefighters Association in support of James Bobbitt, who has been a member of the department for almost 20 years. For the past several months James has been battling stage 4 Esophageal Cancer. Each ticket includes your meal and a drink. We hope to see you.

Well, it’s been awhile.  When we last left our scallywags they were preparing for brunch in December that left them feeling like they were beat with a bottle of champagne. Monica’s husband won’t stop reminding us we are aging. The Yule log forever has our hearts. And we used to REALLY embarrass our friends as kids before we knew what being PC was. What would you do for a prime parking spot? Oh yeah we go on a brief tangent about perspective and using your voice. The world is a wild place. Are we starting a revolution? Is Tik Tok? Honestly our brains stop working mid episode. Did Helen Keller exist? And was the moon landing fake? We are BIG hot dog fans, but little dogs need love too. Monica’s name for children has me ready to pass away. Did ya’ll know I was single for 10 years? Oh yeah, I have a boyfriend. And all I do is cry now. We have a lot to catch up on ya’ll! Talk Derby To Me is THIS Saturday, May 4th. Haven’t bought tickets yet? Send me a DM and I’ll make you a deal!

Well ya’ll, it’s the last episode of the year. Don’t worry Monica and I want to go out with a bang. Did you know Big Red cures hangovers? Daddy Paul joins us for Tik Tok trends, and we are ready to sell our gum. We test our knowledge of white rappers, and let’s just say it’s not great. Martinis & Mistletoe is this Sunday, December 10th and I’m beyond excited to do brunch with some of my favorites, and new friends. Oh yeah and my birthday is Saturday! Will kids ever listen? And are Monica’s girls following her strange behaviors? We introduce a fun new game called, “Worst Case Scenario” and I share possibly the strangest conspiracy theory ever. Revenge and vindication come when you least expect it if you sit back and wait. And after a year of not dating, online dating is STILL not it. What’s your serial killer trait? Ready for not your normal ice breakers? Black Friday shopping isn’t the same anymore, and somehow Monica’s family didn’t know she was weird. It’s tough to have a juicy booty, but someone’s gotta do it. Need a new way to say no, we got you. Most importantly, Thank You. I love this little podcast and I love how it’s brought so many people into my life and taught me so much along the way. I appreciate every listen, every share, every message. I promise I’ll keep growing and evolving alongside y’all and we’ll experience this thing called life together.