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John Allen brings his finger-wagging internal censor Pal along to try to defeat "what is" by surrendering to it. Yeah right. That's going to f*****g happen. Pal tries every trick he knows to get his friend to see that he's lost any resemblance to a real boy and has turned into a bad replica of one. Find out how you too can end up a vassal, mistaking it for love. On sale now — balls at cut-rate prices. Act now or maintain your dignity. John can't stop himself, though. He has not moved on. He doesn't want to, but he does want to call her every single day upon awakening, or when he's wandering around the empty house at 3 a.m., thinking he might sleep and not sleeping, wanting to see her so much that he would give anything—anything—just to laugh with her once more, and is willing to be heartbroken again and again and again because all the pain would be worth it just to hold her hand one more time. But then again, there is always lunch.

John Allen returns for a return cage match with God hoping that this time he will finally triumph. This fight is to the death and there are no rules. This is heartbreak. Real heartbreak. Not the kind on sitcoms. Nope this is heartbreak without any uplifting moral or any greater meaning other than you f*****g lost and you are never going to get back up on your feet. So enjoy it down there on the canvas.You are done. Oh- and John, stop f*****g crying. It's embarassing.

John Allen returns to the struggle of  saying yes to what is and losing yet again, this time to love. This is not a story about a breakup. It is an elegy for an open wound. traced through memory, music, obsession and the body itself. The heart break is never ending. The stakes are very high.  This is the grail wound-a land laid waste where  no birds sing- and the only thing that heals it is attention..  There is no advice here .No lesson, No moral. No finger wagging b******t. There is only witness.

John Allen brings his son in as backup in his ongoing argument with what is. My son and I discuss the only relevant questions that really count. How do I get more girls and not get cancelled? Is there an age where it's just too creepy to keep hitting on the babes? Are all men misogynist? My answer to that one really pissed off my girlfriend now my ex-girlfriend. So totally worth it. I thought the bit about Jesus looking like a twink would've been the one, but she didn't get that far. Other vital questions covered: Are there any topics a twenty-something adult is allowed to talk about in today's culture? Apparently not — but we worked hard and found a few nonetheless. Like: at what age did my son know I was a dick? What else? Oh yes — my favourite, and very practical these days: how to pick up chicks on the train on the way to Auschwitz? And another vital question: is there a way to say "Into Wim Hof?" to a half-naked Asian girl on the beach without sounding way too creepy? Is being p***y-whipped a good thing? And on that note, is it possible to go out with a woman for longer than 5 years without just doing whatever she wants? Actually, make that one week. Does the fact that a father is talking to his son about how long is just too long to go down on someone — even if you really like doing it — mean we should be institutionalized or just shot like dogs? Does not being able to move your jaw for two days constitute too long? See what this healthy, normal father-son exchange has to say about that thorny tantric issue. Can you be a sex addict and be celibate for five years, or is that just proof you're an addict because you need to be away from the supply? Oh shit — that's in the next episode, where I get my heart broken by the aforementioned girlfriend who, if she thought she was pissed off before over this podcast… well honey (I'm not allowed to call her that now that we're not together, but I am rebelling), you ain't seen nothing yet. Stay tuned for that one. DON'T PICK A FIGHT WITH A MAN WHO BUYS HIS INK BY THE BOTTLE. Just a sweetener for the next episode where I get totally erased by a not-so-very-nice gal… who I fall totally in love with, of course.  This was recorded a few years ago. I've been saving it.

John Allen is back to face what is. What am I? Suffering is not a glitch. It's a call to pay  attention to what you are having an argument with in reality.With what is.  With God. And guess what?  You will lose every f****n' time if you go toe to toe with God. LOL Just saying

John Allen makes a deal with "what is". Once again 'what is"  pulls the football away. Dare to be pretentious Ash Wednesday. 6:10 Falling out with the therapist 6:30 Always willing to give it a shot. 8:00 Sin in original Aramaic means to miss the point. 10:00 Lots of cool shit is going on when you pay attention 12:45 I was going to talk about loving 13:30 It's so...That made me laugh. For real...good joke 15:25 Glory holes 15:45 I do crack myself up 16:00 Giving Irving a blast... 16:47 Gapped out.. What did I say? I am back now..oh exposure therapy...or denial... 19:50 I laughed at the mean dog joke. I did laugh listening to it again... 23:40 So two narcissists walk into a bar... 33 old guy sport joke...decided to leave it in..even though it makes me sound line an old guy...

John Allen loses yet again to what is. This time he doesn't even make it to the end of the round. Shakespeare starts Hamlet AFTER the king is dead. That's drama. The reaction. 1:50 Because I have nothing to lose I am free to talk but it's shocking that most people don't have that freedom. 2:30 Freedom of speech is in serious danger. Danger! Danger! Will Robinson 4:50 It's not that they will lose their jobs for speaking; now it's even standing next to someone who says something can get you fired. 9:37 Joe Biden Am I still alive? 11:00 Don't take away my words. 12:00 A safe space in my day was being able to say what you wanted without consequence. 13:00 A push pull relationship with success  15:05 Mark iv panther tank pulls up in front of house. 16:05 I've grown up to be a weird troll. 17:50 Did I say the quiet thing? 18:00 I mean Joe is ahead 8 points not Donald. 18:30 I crack myself up. 20:00 Holding on by Chief Justice Robert's fingernails and Justice Ginsburg's pancreas 23:00 Monitor yourself. 26:00 What can I tell ya? LOL 34:00 It's a metaphor ladies and gentlemen 33:30 I aint no Guru I only play one on TV 36:30 Ask yourself what the f**k is happening and then investigate 38:04 Take two minutes and just shut the f**k up. 40:00 These people have really let us down 41:45 How are you spinning this? 42:00 What I never tell in that story. 45:00 You have everything you need in this moment or you would be dead 46:00 The Dogs Bark and the Caravan moves on

John Allen losing to what is...again. I thought I was the guy making the joke; but it turned out, that I am actually the joke. A dark place Giving up Sir Galahad Guys turning their girlfriends into Mommy We want them around making us a sandwich but not actually... I got a prostate like an Idaho potato but I am still a good stick man- Marlon Brando Last Tango in Paris. The teeter totter Should I bother talking about the cancel culture and how stupid it is? Am I brothers and sisters  in the left wing really going to tank this? Defund the police? Really? What do you got in there? Sawdust?" Cassandra part 2- Dudes! There are Greek soldiers in that horse. I kid you not. The Film Festival and the Day Care No More Process Getting the shit kicked out of me Come on man- Joe Biden about everything The Supreme court turned into a bunch of pussies. Big Surprise It was 8 zip in the Nixon Tape case not 9 zip.

John Allen survives yet another battle with "what is". meditation, questioning,critical thinking, what the f**k is happening now? who am i? who cares? F**k it LOL

Prospero and what is. All suffering is an argument with what is. Suffering is not a glitch. Allow suffering to be. Investigate. Space. Party down. Repeat. Let your indulgence set me free

John Allen and what is. 00:09 Deconstruction of musical mirror. Brown Sugar cultural time capsule. 01:45 Don't want that in the mirror. Don't want that in the mirror 02:33 Groundlings demanding a different ending for Hamlet. 4:00 Cinema Verite: Taking a sip of coffee. 06:36 So much for Cinema Verite 07:47 People think Trump is the epitome of an American businessman because he played one on TV. 09:00 A little aside about ex girlfriends. Yuuch. Cinema Verite 10:15 We've been really good friends but I had to have a heart attack. 11:00 Walking the walk and talking the talk. 11:45 Feeling better is taking a pill 13:16 Maybe this is the one. One what? 14:05 I get these little periods of bliss and then they just kinda run out of gas. 15:44 Every once in a while one of them will come off the ground that I haven't seen before. !5:45 I really am a horrible lying hypocritical a*****e. 15:46 Oh and a leech. 17:08 Wait for thunderbolt. No thunderbolt. 19:40 It's like being a parent again. Ooops. Again. Still. Right. I am a parent still. 20:20 I have to be responsible. Is it true? 21:27 Amateur Lesbian Porn 24:15 The worst for a guy. It's okay. 24:40 Viagra. The boys on the bench. 26:00 I knew a guy who blew a guy's head off with a shotgun. 26:05 Wrote a play about it. 27:00 Upper Canada boys. 29:15 Engagement theory 30:41 Boys run them like dogs 32:00 Homework. Worthless. 33:00 1971. I thought that was what the world would always be like. 34:33 The Stones. 37:00 We the people couldn't handle it.So we gave it back 39:35 Sounding tired. Sorry 40:24 OJ Simpson trial. The Usurping of public power. Monarchy is back. 42:00 Going into hope and I dont want to go into hope but... 43:00 Trump as a trip wire waking up the people; The beauty of the American system 46:00 I always wanted to be a cop when I played as a kid so I could be in charge. 47:00 Friendships are tough. 48:00 Slipping into senility. 48:23 Bad reading of the Hollow Men. Indulgence.

John Allen and what is. 00:30 You say you want a revolution 1:55 I like the battle of Stalingrad as much as the next guy 2:22 True confessions. 3:08 My friend Dave 4:00 Another Cassandra moment 4:35 Terrific bang...Yuuch...I didn't like the way I said that. At all 5:05 No no no we are just friends. 5:50 Lets face it Old Guys are not great. 6:30 I'll just dance by myself and look at the floor. 7:00 Snitch culture 7:45 High falutin' 9:03 I just don't talk to anybody. It's easier. 9:45 When they take over they aren't going to be very nice to the people they take over from...Just guessin' 10:50 Okay not cheering about somebody being shot. Making a point about the media acting like a squirrel on speed. 14:00 Lets rat each other out. 15:30 They are showing you who they are... 17:20 Purity test 18:15 You are the one who is high and mighty 19:00 We come in wholes not parts 20:00 PTSD dating flash back 21:50 Jazz baby jazz 23:00 The Soon Come 25:02 Those gals they brought it down 26:15 Sex clubs and dancing. 29:25 I don't want to know anymore. 30:20 This is actually funny 31:00 Dick farm 32:00 The dream: Commenting about myself commenting about myself. 32:30 Snitch culture 33:15 Ooops...raised my voice... 34:00 If I say chick and it just makes you f*****g crazy... 39:00 Don't die for your country let the other poor dumb f****r die for his. 41:00 Twinkly lights. My origin story 42:00 I had to find out. What happened? Where did those people go? Where will I go? 45:25 There is nothing as horny as a married guy. 47:00 That Soon Come feeling. 48:07 I didn't get to talk about how I feel like I am going to die all the time. Too bad. 49:00 Speaking about dying... 49:30 Quick Dad story. 51:00 Where was I?

John Allen takes on what is. Its a draw. Nah. What is always wins. And of course Amateur Lesbian Porn. 0:50 https://www.amazon.com/Self-Illusion-Social-Creates-Identity/dp/0199988781 2:17 Requiem for the Pandemic 05:58 Amateur Lesbian Porn Revisited 6:50 If ya gotta rub one out for sleep I get it. 8:30 I'm going to be living in a maytag box 9:10 I am not who I think I am. I am not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am. 10:30 The looking glass self 11:30 The past is created from here 12:45 Breaking News: We are all going to die. We are always in the present. 13:30 It seems so f*****g obvious. 13:45 After a certain age you got no f*****g excuse. 15:15 We are going to defund the police force. Bad marketing idea. 15:45 Mr and Mrs. Anywhere: What the f**k? You want to get rid of the police force? 16:25 Have any of you met anybody who is a really bad guy? 17:30 Freaking out about saying "you know" while I talk about my Dad going to jail. 18:30 I don't want your blood money. Just let me get in my Jaguar. 19:40 The Fugue. Do the fugue. 20:00 Most people want to talk about how to feel better. I want to talk about getting in their pants.Bummer. 20:45 Repeating myself. Triggered memory of old girl friend hating me for repeating myself. That's three times you told me that. 23:30 Shocked out of your thoughts. Shocked out of your yourself. 24:40 Am I having a heart attack? 24:50 How would I do these notes? 24:30 I'll show you. I'll give it to you for free. F**k you Return on Investment culture. 26:00 Defence Mechanism Alert: I was a good parent because I didn't want kids. 27:30 You know what I mean Jelly bean. 28:04 Investigations. Yoga. Ex girlfriends. 29:00 If you feel bad about the protest. 29:10 I am Cassandra. I dont look good in a dress. 29:00 Best sex Apollo ever had. 31:00 Awful confession. Among many. 31:30 Hard time on the blower. 32:00 The thing that you see in the protests you can see in yourself. 33:00 Democracy is the worst form of government, except for all the others. Churchill. 36:00 Nice sweet story about a stoned cold killer. 37:30 Should I tell that story? The Mr. Peanut story. No. But then I did. Figures. 38:45 A red neck tie 39:30 Memory...a compost heap of a poetic image. 43:00 Memory are episodes and are constructed from here. 44:50 John says hi.

John Allen and what is. Tie goes to the runner. 1:45 Hassle 2:23 We gots no balls... no offence to eunuchs 3:20 Eclectic guy 3:45 Rioting is kind of a gas 4:20 Putting porn in all the titles. 4:50 lesbian porn 5:24 I've gotten awful Zen. I hit a three wood off the carpet. 6:30 Elephant in the room 9:23 Empathy is an act of imagination 10:30 The don't know place 11:45 Wooo hoo  the call...wake the f**k up 12:40 Man that's work 14:00 Go to the worst place right away 17:30 If I did that today they would take me out to the ditch and shoot me like a dog 19:00 If you reward people for greed. Big surprise when they act greedy. 21:00 Not a war...not when you can get take out 22:30 How can I go dancing? 23:15 Boring myself here...who the f**k cares what I eat...f**k off...I hate this guy 24:00 How do we deal with racism? Look inside. There is a place inside you that despises you. 26:15 Shut the f**k up man...I was just thinking that... 27:02 I was addicted to a woman and I guess I always have been. 28:45 Why is this guy laughing? 29:50 Let's start with being battered. 32:30 Terrible job. Keeping the status quo static. 32:45 Bad singing

John Allen and what is. 0:50 Mothers day spike. 1:40 Making jokes as a defence mechanism. Whew LOL 2:25 Lets start with something right off the bat: I don't know shit 3:32 Everything I have done is for a little bit of time. 4:20 I hate who I am when I am with other people 5:30 Viewer mail: Love me love please love me. 6:01 GPS locating in brain produces lots of good shit. 6:35 The buddhists...LOL 7:26 Gapped out like an old guy or doing a Joe Biden 8:00 Embarrassing moment for me listening to this part...more embarrassing than usual that is. 8:50 The Buddhists again. 9:30 What the f**k is this? 10:15 True confession: I was a rich kid and I didn't like to suffer. 11:40 The whole point of parenting is that you are going to get it wrong. Whew LOL 11:50 Every action produces good and bad consequences and whether it is good or bad depends on where you are judging it from. 14:00 Viewer mail: Falling off the wagon 15:00 I'm interested in suffering. 16:18 I was an angry guy what can I say? 16:40 I didn't have to fix the traffic jam. 17:50 You can't die before your time. 18:30 Why all of you are juicing... 20:00 When I get a grab in the stomach I know something is coming. 20:20 Juicing again 21:20 Attention is love 23:00 The sound of mind. 24:31 Drink a bottle of scotch and your mind will slow down and then shut right down when your head hits the table 24:35 Satori. Bliss. Until you wake up in the empty pizza box. 27:30 The fifth of vodka my mother used to hide in the dishwasher 28:15 In this moment we have everything we need or we would be dead. 30:00 Watch 31:13 The one story in the universe. The hurricane that never ends. 31:30 I want to have a drink 34:10 Where do you feel that anxiety? 35:00 Am I proselytizing? Ya think? A*****e LOL 36:00 Labels 36:30 Looking past the image of your foot. 37:03 Don't think about a Pink Elephant 38:15 Oh oh...Why is he doing this? Is this pretentious? Yikes...What do you think this is? Headspace? 41:28 Be with the tree man...Sheesh 42:00 Joe Biden gaffed. I thought it was a good joke. You ain't black. Come on Man...LOL 44:20 Don't misunderestimate the Trumpster.  Remember Steve Atwater. 45:20 "I just lost the south for a generation." LBJ on signing Civil rights Act legislation. He was wrong. Its been three generations. 47:35 You survived so many things that you didn't think you had a shot at... 48:27 Boo hoo 48:30 Some advice and a  segue. 50:00 Have I f****d this up? Fifty minutes that's long enough for anybody. 50:19 Didn't seem to be. Bonus part 2. Really? You have more to say? Lordy 50:35 On the porch after doing some yard work. 52:00 99 percent of people make the dumplings 53:00 The mind is constantly trying to figure shit out. 54:00 The bird singing is technical and adaptive. It had to learn to sing then had to forget what it learned. 55:16 F****n' heaven. Maybe I am a hippie. 57:00 Finger waggin' 58:00 Viral cloud of death 59:07 Not here. Not now. No thing