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We break down how anxiety shows up in elementary age kids and why it often looks like stomach aches, avoidance, and anger instead of “I’m worried.” We share five practical tools we use at home to help kids face fears in small steps while we stay calm and steady. • anxiety signs in kids that look like behavior problems • common patterns to watch for such as reassurance seeking and physical complaints • validating feelings without feeding the fear • naming the worry to create distance and reduce shame • practicing belly breathing while calm so it works later • using gradual exposure instead of constant rescue • noticing how our own anxiety impacts our child Share this with a parent who might need it today. Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.  Have a blessed rest of your day!

Your kid keeps doing the same thing over and over and you can’t find a consequence that fits. There’s no natural fallout for whining, talking back, sibling fighting, ignoring screen time limits, or “forgetting” something that forces you into an extra trip across town, so you end up stuck between yelling, taking away the iPad, or giving in just to make it stop. Learn about a technique called energy drain. We talk through the core idea that parents have a limited bucket of energy and certain behaviors drain it, plus exactly how to name that drain calmly and with empathy. I give scripts you can use with younger kids (yes, a little drama can help) and a simpler, more casual version for tweens and teens, including why a quick family meeting can prevent pushback. Then we get to the part where real learning happens: after everyone is calm, you invite repair. You ask your child how they want to “put some energy back,” use an age-appropriate energy drain list of tasks they don’t normally do, and build buy-in by creating that list together. We also cover what to do when a child refuses and why knowing your child’s currency makes follow-through possible without turning your home into a daily power struggle. If you want calmer discipline, clear boundaries, and a practical way to teach empathy and accountability, WITHOUT YELLING, listen now. Subscribe, share this with a parent friend who’s at the end of their rope, and leave a review so more families can find Parenting Decoded. See my list of replacement ideas here: ENERGY DRAIN  WRITTEN TRANSCRIPT PODCAST 79 Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.  Have a blessed rest of your day!

In this episode, we cover: Why whining is a communication issue, not a behavior problemHow whining looks different in toddlers vs. older kidsCommon parenting responses that accidentally reinforce whiningSimple, effective strategies like:Naming the whining and teaching an “asking voice”Knowing when to wait it out (without engaging)Addressing hunger, fatigue, and overwhelm before whining startsWhat to expect when whining gets worse before it gets better—and how to stay consistentIf you’re parenting kids ages 2–10 and feeling worn down by constant whining, this episode offers practical tools to help you hear less whining and more clear, respectful communication. Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.  Have a blessed rest of your day!

Parenting Decoded welcomes McCall Gordon to tackle one of parenting’s toughest questions: Why won’t my kid sleep? Her book is aimed at parents of "livewires" — kids who are more alert, intense, and emotionally reactive than average, making traditional sleep advice ineffective. McCall explains that temperament plays a huge role in sleep struggles — some kids just have a harder time winding down. These children are perceptive, persistent, and often lack typical “sleepy cues” like yawning. Instead, they need more support and a customized sleep strategy. She encourages parents to stop blaming themselves. These kids aren’t “bad” sleepers — they’re wired differently. The solution? A gradual, step-by-step approach to bedtime routines, not the cold-turkey methods like “cry it out,” which often backfire for sensitive kids. McCall’s key advice: Understand your child’s temperamentTaper off bedtime habits graduallyUse consistent patterns at bedtime and during night wakingsThink of it like teaching a child to ride a bike — slowly let go while supporting themShe also emphasizes ruling out medical issues for frequent night wakings, especially in infants or kids who snore. The bottom line: You’re not crazy, and it’s not your fault — you just need a different roadmap. Link to the book on Amazon:  Why Won't You Sleep? Link to the Audible book: Why Won't You Sleep? Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.  Have a blessed rest of your day!

Getting Kids to Stay at the Table: Four Simple Rules That Work Tired of mealtimes feeling like a circus? Kids jumping up every two minutes, running after them with food, or resorting to screens just to keep them in their seats? You're not alone—and there's a better way. In this episode, we tackle one of parents' biggest daily battles: getting kids to actually sit and eat their meals. Whether you have toddlers or elementary-aged children, these four practical Family Mealtime Rules will transform your dinner table from chaos to calm. You'll learn: Why chasing kids with forks or allowing screens at dinner creates more problems than it solvesThe four essential boundaries that make mealtimes work (including the ONE rule that changes everything)Exactly what to say when your child gets up from the table—and how to handle the meltdownsA simple compromise for parents who worry their child will starveWhy consistency in the first few days is absolutely criticalThe key? A loving but firm approach that teaches natural consequences. When kids know the boundaries and trust that you'll stick to them, mealtimes become peaceful for everyone. If you're exhausted from the daily dinner battle, this episode gives you a clear, actionable plan you can start implementing tonight. Your 20-minute meals are just four rules away. Perfect for: Parents of toddlers through elementary age children struggling with mealtime behavior Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.  Have a blessed rest of your day!

Are you planning to give your child their first smartphone, tablet, gaming console, or smartwatch this holiday season? Before you wrap that gift, there's crucial work you need to do! In this week's episode of Parenting Decoded, I'm sharing essential guidance from Defend Young Minds on how to set up digital devices the RIGHT way—before your child ever touches them. I walk you through the step-by-step process of configuring parental controls, testing safety settings, and creating a family tech contract that establishes clear boundaries from day one. Whether your child is 8, 10, or 15, this episode will help you choose protection over peril and set your family up for digital success. Plus, I'm sharing a free sample digital contract you can download and customize for your own family. Don't let the excitement of gift-giving leave you scrambling—tune in now and parent with confidence! References to look up: LINK TO BLOG TRANSCRIPT Defend Young Minds website Sample Digital Contract from Parenting Decoded Defend Young Minds and their article "7 Essential Rules for New Tech to Safeguard Your Child." Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.  Have a blessed rest of your day!

How to Stop Nagging Your Kids (And Get Better Results) The Problem: You're repeating yourself constantly, and it's exhausting everyone. Nagging doesn't work, damages relationships, and prevents kids from developing independence. What You'll Learn: Why nagging fails and what it teaches your childrenHow to use natural consequences effectivelyThe power of saying things once (and meaning it)Creating routines that eliminate daily battlesTransferring ownership so kids manage their own responsibilitiesThe Goal: Raise responsible, independent kids while building a stronger relationship—without being the household taskmaster. Perfect for: Parents tired of the nagging cycle and ready to try strategies that actually work. Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.  Have a blessed rest of your day!

Transform your back-to-school shopping from a budget-busting headache to an opportunity for teaching financial responsibility. I share how I went from spending $100 per child on school supplies to $50 while teaching my kids valuable money lessons in the process. • Set a firm budget before looking at supply lists and commit to not exceeding it • Give kids their budget in actual cash so they can physically see their spending limits • Let them keep whatever they don't spend as an incentive to make smart choices • Apply the same system to clothes shopping to extend the financial learning • Even reluctant shoppers benefit from learning how to make purchasing decisions • Generic supplies work just as well as fancy ones for academic success • Teaching budgeting and financial trade-offs provides lifelong skills Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.  Have a blessed rest of your day!

Summer break intensifies the screen time battle with teens and tweens, but shifting from screen time enforcer to screen time strategist can transform your approach and relationship with your kids. You should head over to the Screenagers website for the full blog post "Screen Time and Parental Controls: Simple Tips for a Smoother Summer." but I'm including a brief synopsis in this podcast to help entice you to do that.  Key Steps for a Smooth Screen Summer: • Trust and verify instead of secretly spying on your children's digital activities • Maintain ongoing conversations about screen time rather than relying solely on parental controls • Show grace and compassion when technology rules are broken • Approach parental controls as experiments to be adjusted, not perfect solutions • Keep all technology out of bedrooms – perhaps the single most effective strategy • Involve kids in setting up guidelines to increase their investment in the process Screenagers has lots of amazing additional resources to help your family navigate the digital world.  Check it out! Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.  Have a blessed rest of your day!

Tackling the age-old parenting challenge of getting kids to do their chores requires a systematic approach rather than nagging or giving up. We explore a six-step process focused on bedroom cleanup that can transform your family's approach to household responsibilities. • Breaking down "clean your room" into specific tasks like making the bed, putting clothes in hamper, and picking up toys • Creating separate lists for daily versus weekly tasks to make expectations more manageable • Letting children choose when they'll complete their chores (morning, evening, specific days for weekly tasks) • Setting up clear consequences tied to things kids value rather than making up punishments in the moment • Working as a team with your children to create the system rather than imposing it on them • Taking a focused approach by solving one area at a time rather than trying to fix all chore problems simultaneously Try this approach with bedrooms first, then apply what works to other areas of your home. Remember we're experimenting together with our kids to find what works for our unique family. LINK to "Energy Drain Ideas" on Mary's website: ENERGY DRAIN IDEAS Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.  Have a blessed rest of your day!

In this episode, we tackle the important issue of childhood sexual abuse and how to help prevent it. By educating ourselves as parents, we can provide our children with the tools they need to protect themselves. • Discuss the prevalence of childhood sexual abuse statistics  • Explore the need for children to know proper terminology for body parts  • Encourage open lines of communication about consent and boundaries  Let's work together to change statistics and protect our children. Here is the full article from AAP: https://www.contemporarypediatrics.com/view/aap-tips-for-teaching-children-about-body-boundaries-and-safety Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.  Have a blessed rest of your day!

Does your child have a problem with what's in their backpack?   You know,  those papers that are wrinkled at the bottom?  Maybe a permission slip?  Or possibly a banana?    Or how about the things that are NOT in their backpack?  Do they forget to put their homework in?  Or maybe their lunch or water bottle?  In this podcast take a new approach! We want it to be THEIR fault in their minds.  It’s ok that there’s a problem, it’s just not ok if they blame others. But, if we touch their backpacks, it IS our fault! I have some rules for you:  RULES FOR PARENTS 1 - Don't empty the backpack 2 - Don't pack the backpack 3 - Don't carry the backpack   Don't get me wrong,  you're welcome to coach a child but THEY need to do the work.  No nagging!  Just ASK if they'd like some suggestions.  Maybe make lists with them about what's supposed to go IN the backpack before school and what comes OUT after school.  Make the lists together, don't just write it all up for them.  If they can't read then use pictures or drawings.        Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.  Have a blessed rest of your day!

For some families having lots of Halloween candy floating around our homes causes stress and strain.  In this podcast learn some tricks for treating your whole family to a more fun and happy experience as you learn to set limits and boundaries while giving lots of choices and, occassionally, letting your kids make poor decisions.   Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.  Have a blessed rest of your day!

Hearing the phrase "secure attachment" makes us think of some academic thesis.  BORING!  Well,  I want to help flip that idea in our minds to "CRUCIAL".  Yes,  having our kids see us as stable, reliable and empathetic beings in their lives is ESSENTIAL.  In this podcast episode I talk to Eli Harwood, a therapist and "attachment nerd", as she calls herself on social media.  We talk about how in her book, Raising Securely Attached Kids, you can learn to build a stable and trusting environment for our kids so they will thrive and grow.  In her examples of how secure parents approach problems you can feel relief in knowing there are successful strategies in creating confident kids who know we'll always have their backs. Eli's new book: Raising Securely Attached Kids: Using Connection-Focused Parenting to Create Confidence, Empathy and Resilience Eli's Good Morning American appearance 8/31/24: How to Manage Anxiety and Stress at the Beginning of the School Year Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.  Have a blessed rest of your day!

How much can a 2-, 3- or 4-year-old do?  What can they do?  They’re so little, right?  A toddler?  A preschooler?  What’s reasonable?  What’s not?   Are you doing too much as a parent?    All good questions for sure that most of us struggle with!  In this podcast we explore what’s reasonable to encourage and train young kids to do from chores to life skills that will build self-confidence and independence.  Here's the list of ideas we cover:   Personal accomplishments: Feed themselvesPack backpackMake bedPick out clothesPut clothes in hamperWash their own hands by themselvesFamily Contributions Setting the tableClearing dishesVacuumingDustingFold socksLoad laundry and start machineUnload/put away dishesWash windowsTake care of petsSimple cooking tasksOutdoor tasks Pull weedsRake leavesWater plantsPersonal Growth Learn how to have Solo Play TimeHave "Reading Time" on their ownLearn to ride a Balance BikeBe Assistant to Mom or Dad - these are done with JOY and with Mom or Dad, not alone Help make a mealPick up dog poop or clean litter boxHelp take out the trashGarden - sweep, dig, plantClean - bathroom, mop floor Email me at [email protected] or go to my website at www.parentingdecoded.com.  Have a blessed rest of your day!