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🎧 Listen to this episode if… - You've just found out your ex was cheating – and your lawyer doesn't seem to care - You're wondering if the affair changes your property settlement - You're combing through disclosure for gifts, hotels and a money trail - You're scared of being painted as the "jealous ex" in family court - Your ex's new partner is suddenly part of your kids' lives ⚠️ General information only – not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances. 🛟 This episode discusses emotional abuse, gaslighting and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. Mum and I unpack the question  "my ex cheated – does it actually matter?"  We cover wastage of joint money, proving the money trail in disclosure, negotiating while you're hurt (without swinging from give-up to revenge), the traps around kids and the new partner, and why your reaction – not their cheating – is what the court ends up watching. Plus the cases Gollings & Scott and Tajani & Tajani ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – My Ex Cheated: Does It Actually Matter in Divorce? 01:00 – From Private Investigators to No-Fault Divorce in Australia 04:00 – The Emotional Hit: Gaslighting, Paranoia and Flashbacks 06:00 – Two Separate Recoveries: Healing vs the Legal Process 08:00 – What the Court Cares About: Joint Money Spent on an Affair 10:00 – STIs and When Cheating Crosses Into Abusive Behaviour 12:00 – Before, During, After: When Affair Spending Counts 13:00 – The Judge's Range: How Conduct Can Lift Your Percentage 14:00 – Proving It: Gifts, Hotels and the Money Trail in Disclosure 17:00 – The Hat Trick: Separating Heartbreak From Strategy 18:00 – Negotiating While Hurt: The Two Traps 19:00 – The Pendulum Effect: Give Up, Fair or Everything 21:00 – Guilty Exes and Generous Offers: Grab Them or Not? 23:00 – Negotiating to Punish and the "Jealous Ex" Label 26:00 – The Five Stages of Grief After Betrayal 28:00 – Adjustment Disorder and Family Reports 30:00 – Co-Parenting With the Affair Partner 31:00 – New Partners in Parenting: Subpoenas and Safety Checks 33:00 – How Soon Is Too Soon to Introduce a New Partner? 38:00 – Don't Interrogate the Kids: The Car Ride Strategy 44:00 – Rapid Fire: Affairs Before, During and Under One Roof 45:00 – Onerous Contributions, De Facto Overlaps and Tajani & Tajani 48:00 – Two Property Settlements, Filing First and the Family Home 51:00 – Does a New Partner's Income Affect Your Settlement? 53:00 – The Biggest Takeaway: Adjustments, Not Revenge 🎧 Episodes Mentioned Are We De Facto? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/are-we-de-facto-what-it-could-mean-for-property/id1503451022?i=1000743246854 Property or Parenting First? – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/property-or-parenting-first-does-the-order-actually/id1503451022?i=1000782876028 Coercive Control vs a Bad Relationship  https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-vs-a-bad-relationship-how-to-tell/id1503451022?i=1000774925805 Coercive Control & Domestic Violence in Family Court https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-domestic-violence-in-family-court/id1503451022?i=1000764231660 🔗 Links & Resources Family Law Act 1975 – Section 79 – https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | 🚓 Police – 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free webinar: click "Reserve My Seat" 🎓 Blog: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog If this episode helped you understand what cheating does and doesn't change in your divorce, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast. All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side.

🎧 Listen to this episode if… - You dread every text from your ex and screenshot messages "just in case" - Your co-parent avoids, delays or denies every conversation that matters - You can't get a straight yes or no  - You carry the mental load of every reminder, newsletter and schedule - You've been told to "document everything" and want it done automatically ⚠️ General information only not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer about your circumstances. 🛟 This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732), Lifeline 13 11 14. unpack the co-parenting app that courts here actually trust.  ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Dreading Texts From Your Ex? Why You Need This Episode 01:00 – Meet Erin Green From OurFamilyWizard Australia 02:00 – Why Avoidant Co-Parents Stop Communicating 05:00 – The Amicable Trap: Becoming the Communication Manager 07:00 – What Is OurFamilyWizard? The Co-Parenting App Explained 08:00 – Uneditable, Encrypted Records vs Deleted Text Messages 10:00 – Calls Feature: Transcripts and Documented Call Activity 11:00 – Family Violence Orders: Calling Without Sharing Your Number 12:00 – The Shared Calendar and Change Requests Without Drama 15:00 – Expense Tracking: Invoices, Receipts and Proof for Court 17:00 – The Info Bank: Schools, Medications and Clothing Sizes 18:00 – Who Uses OurFamilyWizard (And When Courts Order It) 20:00 – Putting the App in Your Consent Orders 21:00 – Timestamped Messages: No Deleting, No Rewriting History 22:00 – Free Divorce Webinar With Laura & Lyn 23:00 – Court-Admissible PDFs and Professional Access 25:00 – The AI Writing Assistant That Flags Escalating Language 27:00 – Message Search + Safety for Survivors of Abuse 29:00 – Word Salad, Yes-or-No Requests and Coercive Control 31:00 – Check-Ins and Location Privacy After Family Violence 33:00 – A Tool, Not a Safety Plan: Tech Stalking Reminders 34:00 – What If Your Ex Refuses to Use a Co-Parenting App? 36:00 – Protection Orders, Mediation and Raising the App 37:00 – Fee Waivers for Family Violence and Financial Duress 38:00 – Defence Force Discount Explained 40:00 – OurFamilyWizard Cost: Essentials, Premium and Max 43:00 – Erin's Best Advice: Pause Before You Reply 44:00 – What to Embroider on a Cushion This Week 🎧 Episodes Mentioned Coercive Control and Your Kids – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-and-your-kids-how-to-protect-your/id1503451022?i=1000777679728 Co-Parenting With a High Conflict, Narcissistic or Avoidant Ex – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/co-parenting-how-to-successfully-do-it-even-with-a/id1503451022?i=1000559535573 Take the Divorce Personality Quiz – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/take-the-divorce-personality-quiz-learn-why-your/id1503451022?i=1000748290587 Is Your Ex Watching You? Coercive Control Goes Digital – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/is-your-ex-watching-you-coercive-control-goes-digital/id1503451022?i=1000758578403 Creating a Safety Plan Before You Need One – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/from-fear-to-freedom-creating-a-safety-plan-before/id1503451022?i=1000741625311 Co-Parenting Without Court Orders – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/co-parenting-without-court-orders-the-real-rules-and/id1503451022?i=1000735234386 🔗 Links & Resources OurFamilyWizard Australia – https://www.ourfamilywizard.com.au Fee waiver (via your lawyer, mediator or support professional): [email protected] Help using the app: [email protected] 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | 🚓 Police – 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free webinar: click "Reserve My Seat" 🎓 Blog: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog

🎧 Listen if you… - Keep hearing "you're not getting more than 50/50" from your ex - Are stuck yelling percentages at each other and getting nowhere - Feel greedy asking for what's actually fair - Want your proposal backed by real law before mediation   ⚠️ General information only – not legal advice. Australian family law; always consult a qualified family lawyer. 🛟 This episode discusses coercive control and duress. In danger? Call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).   In this episode we show you how to build your case the way the court does  contributions, then current and future circumstances then get your ex's buy-in fact by fact, and back it all with legislation and recent cases (including Mum's AustLII "note up" trick). Plus the mindset work, the "amicable" trap, and my cringe-but-effective strategy   ⏱️ CHAPTERS 00:00 – Ex Says 50/50 or Nothing? How to Negotiate More 02:00 – Why Exes Refuse: The Win–Lose Business Mindset 03:40 – Mum's #1 Rule: Never Negotiate in Percentages 06:00 – The Court Case That Proves Percentages Backfire 07:30 – What the Family Court Actually Does in Property Settlement 08:30 – The Five-Step Property Settlement Process 10:00 – Big vs Small Property Pools: Why Adjustments Differ 11:45 – Is More Than 50% Greedy? When 50/50 Actually Happens 16:00 – Get Your Mindset Sorted Before You Negotiate 18:00 – "Who Died and Made Them Boss?" 19:30 – The Future Self Test and Negotiation Fatigue 21:00 – Why Wanting to Be "Amicable" Can Be a Trap 23:30 – Laura's Divorce Vision Board (Cringe but It Worked) 25:45 – Financial Contributions: The Polythene Pipe Analogy 28:00 – Non-Financial, Homemaking and Parenting Contributions 29:45 – Post-Separation Contributions and Common Shenanigans 32:00 – Contributions and Future Needs in the Family Law Act 36:30 – Putting It in Writing: Getting Buy-In Fact by Fact 38:30 – The AustLII Note-Up Trick for Backing It With Law 42:00 – When They Stop Negotiating or Lawyer Up 43:30 – Reframing the Deal: "50/50 of What?" 46:15 – Rapid Fire: Delete "Amicable", Say "Fair" Instead 48:45 – The Superannuation Equalising Trap and the Give-In Wall 52:45 – "I Won't Leave Until You Sign": Duress, Safety and 1800 RESPECT 56:45 – Embroider It on a Cushion: Your Fair Future   🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED Percentages in Divorce Property Settlements Explained – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/percentages-in-divorce-property-settlements-explained/id1503451022?i=1000729446519 Pitfalls of Premature Percentage Negotiations – https://open.spotify.com/episode/6bxTgrdymCeW16Q7z5njUe Big or Small Property Pool? – https://open.spotify.com/episode/697VeO4FrXQt9LYaabHtUC BATNA in Divorce – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/batna-in-divorce-how-to-negotiate-property-and/id1503451022?i=1000719715152 Coercive Control & DV in Family Court – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-domestic-violence-in-family-court/id1503451022?i=1000764231660 Super Split Myths – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/super-split-myths-why-equalising-isnt-always-fair-in/id1503451022?i=1000708394387 Convincing the Unconvincible – https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/convincing-the-unconvincible-in-divorce-negotiations/id1503451022?i=1000526927752   📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | Police – 000 ⚖️ Family Law Act 1975 s79 – https://www.austlii.edu.au/cgi-bin/viewdoc/au/legis/cth/consol_act/fla1975114/s79.html 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au   If this helped, please follow, rate, review and share so others can find it too. All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You have no idea what's happening with the kids this Christmas Your ex just announced their Christmas plans like it's already decided You didn't know there's a family court deadline in November You want Christmas clauses in your orders with no wriggle room Every handover is a fight and you're dreading the silly season   ⚠️ Disclaimer: General information only, not legal advice. Based on Australian family law (WA differs). Always get independent legal advice. 🛟 This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) | Orange Door | Lifeline 13 11 14.   About this episode: What about Christmas morning? What if there are no orders and your ex announces the plan like it's done? Mum and I cover the family court Christmas deadline, what to do if you have no orders, your options; changeover on the day, alternating blocks, or letting Christmas fall where it lands and how to make sure your christmas plans have no loopholes   ⏱️ Timeline 00:00 – Who Gets Christmas Morning? 01:30 – Family Violence Warning & Disclaimer 03:00 – Why Christmas Is Chaos in Family Law Offices 04:00 – Your First Christmas Separated 05:30 – The Creep Strategy at Christmas 06:30 – The Court Deadline: Second Friday in November 08:00 – Why Christmas Isn't Legally "Urgent" 09:30 – Your Ex Just Announces the Plan? What to Do 12:30 – Propose a Child-Focused Plan in Writing 14:30 – Already in Court? Interim Applications 16:00 – Don't Poke the Bear vs a Dog Off the Leash 18:30 – Too Afraid to Ask? You've Been Trained 20:30 – Reasonable Question + Crazy Response = Proof 22:30 – Option 1: Changeover on Christmas Day 24:00 – Changeover by Divorce Personality Type 26:00 – Option 2: Christmas Eve–Boxing Day Alternate Years 26:30 – The Travel Trap in Christmas Orders 27:30 – Presents That Can't Travel: The Clause You Need 28:30 – Option 3: Let Christmas Fall Where It Lands 29:00 – How School Holidays Are Split in Orders 30:00 – Gazetted Holidays and Pupil-Free Day Traps 32:00 – Contact Centres at Christmas: Book Now 33:30 – Christmas Phone Call Clauses 35:30 – Handover Locations: Drive There First 38:30 – Do Kids Get a Say? 40:00 – Parenting Plan vs Consent Orders 41:00 – Why Exes Misbehave in December 42:30 – Non-Compliance and Enforcement 44:30 – Making It Watertight: Times, Not Descriptions 47:30 – The Lateness Rule at Handover 48:30 – No Wriggle Room & the Spirit of the Orders 51:50 – Your October Checklist 53:00 – The Notice of Intention to File 56:00 – Rapid Fire: Presents, No-Shows, Three Strikes 58:30 – New Partners at Changeover 1:01:30 – Plans for Every Divorce Personality Type 1:07:50 – Kidsmas   🎧 Episodes mentioned: The Creep Strategy Exposed (Ep 336) →  https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/domestic-violence-in-custody-battles-the-creep/id1503451022?i=1000788566797 Separated for the Holidays? (Ep 178) →  https://youtu.be/tdDduzuSK8I?si=3dUJ6YitO0TTXnFT Co-Parenting & the School Holidays (Ep 78) → https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=flibR76WrNc Divorce Holiday Survival Guide (Ep 224) → https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/divorce-holiday-survival-guide-how-to-communicate-when/id1503451022?i=1000740365814 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 | Orange Door | Lifeline — 13 11 14 | Police — 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free resources + DIY Divorce Blueprint (Module 3 parenting templates) If this helped you get ahead of Christmas, please subscribe, like and share so others can find it too. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You've sent emails and heard nothing back for weeks The strategy has completely changed without a discussion The family violence you disclosed isn't even in your affidavit Your lawyer is great at invoices but not much else You're thinking about leaving your lawyer but don't know the steps ⚠️ Disclaimer: General information only, not legal advice. Based on Australian family law. Always get independent legal advice, and consider all aspects before deciding to leave your lawyer. 🛟 This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). About this episode: Bad lawyer, bad fit – or a good lawyer having a bad month? Mum and I walk through what a good lawyer relationship looks like, reasonable response times, why strategies change (and when backpedaling is a red flag), what to do when your lawyer minimises family violence, how to question a bill without feeling horrible, the repair conversation to have before you leave, and the exact steps to change lawyers without leaving yourself in the lurch. You're the client – it's okay to ask questions. ⏱️ Timeline 00:00 – Warning Signs Your Divorce Lawyer Might Be the Problem 01:00 – Why Family Lawyers Are Hardworking (And Human) 02:00 – You're the Client: Permission to Ask Questions 04:00 – Legal Disclaimer and Family Violence Warning 05:00 – What a Good Lawyer Relationship Looks Like 06:00 – What Your Lawyer Should Explain Without Being Asked 07:00 – A Good First Meeting: Chronologies and Probing Questions 09:00 – Over-Promising Lawyers and the Polaroid Analogy 10:00 – How Long Should You Wait to Hear Back? 11:00 – Busy Lawyer vs Neglectful Lawyer 13:00 – Never Miss a Court Deadline 15:00 – Radio Silence? The Email to Send the Principal 16:00 – Will Complaining Make My Lawyer Hate Me? 17:00 – Trust and Full Disclosure 18:00 – The Dot-Point Chronology Trick 19:00 – Illegal Activity and Legal Professional Privilege 21:00 – Section 128 Certificates 22:00 – Affairs, New Partners and Why Lawyers Don't Judge 23:00 – Strategy Changes and Backpedaling 27:00 – Defensive Lawyers and Letters of Advice 28:00 – When Lawyers Gatekeep Family Violence 29:00 – Section 43: Safety Over Everything 30:00 – The 2024 Reforms: Is Your Lawyer Up to Date? 34:00 – What a Normal Legal Bill Looks Like 35:00 – What You Can Question in a Bill 38:00 – The Repair Conversation 39:00 – Meeting the Principal and Testing Their Reaction 41:00 – Project Managing Your Case 43:00 – Leaving Your Lawyer: Pause the File, Check Timing 44:00 – Find Your New Lawyer First 45:00 – Outstanding Bills and Court Portal Access 46:00 – Rapid Fire: Second Opinions and Support People 48:00 – Step In, Step Out 49:00 – Is It Though? Why Questioning Is Everything 🎧 Episodes mentioned: Legal Gatekeeping: Is Your Lawyer Telling Your Full Story? → https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/legal-gatekeeping-is-your-lawyer-telling-your-full-story/id1503451022?i=1000666744026 Choosing a Family Lawyer – The Red Flags Not to Ignore → https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/choosing-a-family-lawyer-the-red-flags-not-to-ignore/id1503451022?i=1000555058558 Take the Divorce Personality Quiz → https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/take-the-divorce-personality-quiz-learn-why-your/id1503451022?i=1000748290587 Decoding Divorce Word Salad Legal Letters → https://open.spotify.com/episode/4qiOSiGK9yOrt0lEdqCudQ 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 | Lifeline — 13 11 14 | Police — 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free checklists + DIY Divorce Blueprint If this helped you work out whether your lawyer is the right fit, please subscribe, like and share so others can find it too. All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side

🎧 Listen to this episode if… Your ex is rewriting your shared history in lawyer's letters or affidavits Money is disappearing before your property settlement You suspect secret super, hidden cash, or crypto Your ex has turned your family or your own accountant against you The person who hurt you is now playing the victim You want to know these patterns are predictable and you're not alone You suspect your ex is a narc ⚠️ Disclaimer: General information only, not legal advice. Based on Australian family law. Originally recorded in 2021 – laws may have changed. Always get independent legal advice. 🛟 This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) | Lifeline 13 11 14. About this episode: From the vault over 300 episodes back to one of the very first and most requested episodes we ever recorded. Mum draws on 35+ years in family law to open up The Narcissist Playbook: the 10 patterns she sees again and again with controlling and manipulative exes in divorce. If the playbook existed, it would have two chapters  "I only care about me" and "I tell lies." Once you can see the patterns, you can see the next move coming. ⏱️ Timeline 00:00 – From the Vault: Why We're Replaying The Narcissist Playbook 01:00 – Family Violence Warning & Disclaimer 02:00 – The Two Rules of the Narcissist Playbook 04:00 – Pattern 1: They Rewrite History 07:00 – How to Prove the Lies: Photos, Receipts, Credibility 09:00 – Pattern 2: Spending Money Before Property Settlement 10:00 – Add-Backs: How Wasted Money Gets Counted 11:00 – Pattern 3: Secret Super, Bank Accounts and Hidden Cash 12:00 – Crypto and Digital Wallets 13:00 – Positive Credit Card Balances and Gambling Accounts 14:00 – Pattern 4: Undermining You With Family and Kids 16:00 – Building Your Support Group 17:00 – Pattern 5: Playing the Victim and DV Cross-Applications 18:00 – Keeping a Diary of Coercive Control 21:00 – Pattern 6: Parent of the Year Transformation 22:00 – Toys, Trips and Trash Talk: The Cost to Kids 24:00 – Genuine Change vs Performance 25:00 – Pattern 7: They Re-Partner Almost at Once 26:00 – Recruiting the New Partner Into the Campaign 27:00 – When the New Partner Wakes Up: Witnesses and Subpoenas 28:00 – Pattern 8: Turning Joint Professionals Against You 30:00 – Get Your Own Accountant and Team 31:00 – Pattern 9: Claiming Credit for Your Contributions 33:00 – Why Judges See Through It 34:00 – Pattern 10: Reversing the Blame 35:00 – How Courts Catch the Lies 37:00 – New Court Rules: Responding to Their Affidavit 38:00 – The Ten Patterns Recapped 39:00 – Reviewer of the Month: Free 30-Minute Consult With Lyn 🎧 Episode mentioned: Finance and Financial Planners (with Pedro) 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 | Lifeline — 13 11 14 | Police — 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free resources + DIY Divorce Blueprint ✉️ Questions: [email protected] or DM @thedivorcecourse ⭐ Review the podcast each month for a chance to win a free 30-minute chat with Lyn If this episode helped you recognise the patterns and feel less alone, please subscribe, like and share so others can find it too. All our best, Laura & Lyn – Your Guides By Your Side

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You've been told to "just get the house valued" but nobody's explained who, how, or what it costs Your ex reckons the house is worth a completely different number Your ex won't let a valuer through the door – or is stalling on purpose You separated years ago and don't know which date the house gets valued at You're heading into mediation and need a number that holds up ⚠️ Disclaimer: General information only, not legal advice. Based on Australian family law. Always get independent legal advice for your circumstances. 🛟 This episode discusses manipulative and controlling behaviour. If you're in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). About this episode: You can't divide the property until you know what it's worth. Mum and I unpack appraisals vs valuations, the panel-of-three process for choosing a single expert valuer, the joint letter, the seven-day rule that stops a stalling ex, the dirty tricks people pull, and the date trap – your house is valued at mediation or trial, not the day you separated. Plus strategies for every personality type, from amicable to manipulative and controlling. ⏱️ Timeline 00:00 – What Is Your House Really Worth in Divorce? 01:00 – Why a Valuation Is the Foundation of Property Settlement 02:00 – Legal Disclaimer 03:00 – Why Property Division Is a Mathematical Exercise 04:00 – Rates Notices and Numbers That Don't Count 05:00 – The "Willing But Not Anxious" Test 06:00 – Appraisal vs Valuation: Why Court Wants One Number 07:00 – The Divide-By-Four Trick for Appraisals 08:00 – Selling, Keeping or Being Bought Out 09:00 – Consent Orders With a Formula 10:00 – Keeping the House: Agreed Number or Single Expert 11:00 – Dirty Tricks: Half-Finished Renovations 13:00 – Avoidant Exes Living in the House 14:00 – The Valuer vs Agent Tactic 16:00 – The Panel of Three: Choosing a Valuer Fairly 17:00 – The Joint Letter to the Valuer 18:00 – The Seven-Day Rule That Stops a Stalling Ex 19:00 – Single Expert Valuers: What You're Signing Up For 20:00 – Retrospective Valuations 21:00 – What a Valuation Costs and Who Pays 23:00 – Getting Your Ex to Pay 24:00 – What Happens on Valuation Day 25:00 – Falling House Prices and Timing 26:00 – Do You Need to Be There? 27:00 – Do It Before Mediation 28:00 – What If You Disagree With the Valuation? 29:00 – Shadow Valuers and Cross-Examination 30:00 – When the Valuation Comes in Below the Mortgage 32:00 – The Date Trap: Value at Mediation, Not Separation 33:00 – Building a Wastage Argument 34:00 – Falling Markets and Updated Valuations 36:00 – Why Court Won't Punish Market Timing 37:00 – Court-Ordered Sales and Auctions 39:00 – Rapid Fire: Mortgages, Equity, Selling Costs 41:00 – Valuing the House Without Your Ex's Permission 42:00 – Amicable and Avoidant Exes 44:00 – High Conflict: Single Expert Takes the Fight Out 45:00 – Manipulative Exes on Inspection Day 47:00 – Delay Tactics and Final Thoughts 🎧 Episodes mentioned: Renovations and Divorce:  📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 | Lifeline — 13 11 14 | Police — 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au – free resources + DIY Divorce Blueprint waitlist ⚖️ Case: Woodland & Todd

🎧 Listen to this if… Your ex keeps saying supervised visits are "going well" so it's time for unsupervised You got a  lawyer letter that says "this won't look good for you in court" You're being pressured into an agreement your instincts say isn't safe You've been told "you'll be accused of alienation" Your ex has done a online course and now claims they've changed You want to know what the courts are saying about supervised time and safety ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer & Trigger Warning This is general information only it is not legal advice. The content reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your specific situation. Always consult a lawyer about your circumstances. Laws may have changed since this episode was recorded. This episode discusses family violence, coercive control and child safety. If you are in danger, call 000. For  support: (1800 737 732). ⏱️ Timeline 00:00 – The Creep Strategy 02:30 – Separated Under One Roof 04:00 – What Supervised Visits and Contact Centres Are 06:00 – The Creep in Action: 09:30 – Pressure Tactics: Alienation Accusations & Court Threats 11:45 – Pressure From Your Own Lawyer 12:30 – Step-Up Orders 15:15 – Does Refusing Unsupervised Time Look Bad in Court? 17:00 – The 50/50 Myth Busted 19:15 – The Trap: Agreeing to Unsupervised Time 22:45 – An Ex Who Refuses Supervised Time 25:15 – Dorval & Augustin [2025]: 27:30 – Drew & Mason [2025]:  29:20 – Bergsberg & Hyde [2026]:  36:15 – When Step-Up Orders Are Appropriate 37:30 – Condition-Based Orders, Drug Testing 39:50 –You're Protecting Your Kids, Not Punishing Your Ex 41:00 – The Mediation Phrase 42:30 – How to Answer Pressure Letters 🎧 Episodes  Episode 141 – Decoding Divorce Word Salad Legal Letters: Episode 309 – Refusing 50/50 Care?  Episode 73 – Drug & Alcohol Abuse:  Episode 183 – Parental Alienation False Allegations:  📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au🎓 The Divorce Course Podcast —www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog for links to cases

🎧 Listen to this episode if… - Your divorce negotiations have stalled and every message gets "no"  or no reply at all - Your ex keeps delaying and you can't work out why - You're stuck arguing over percentages and getting nowhere - Your ex is "sitting pretty" with no reason to settle - You're wondering whether it's time to send that final warning letter ⚠️ Legal Disclaimer This podcast is general information only it is not legal advice. Always consult a qualified family lawyer about your individual circumstances. 🛟 Family Violence Trigger Warning This episode touches on coercive control and controlling ex-partners. If you're in danger, call 000. Confidential support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732) or Lifeline (13 11 14). Have your negotiations stalled? In this episode, Mum and I go through 10 practical ways to move the needle when your divorce feels completely stuck  in three phases. First, the soften-and-unstick approach: diagnosing why your ex is stalling, repackaging your offer, getting off percentages, and showing them how the settlement will actually happen. Then smart pressure: keeping a live offer on the table, treating terrible offers as data, letting the law do the arguing, and making the maths impossible to ignore. And if none of that works, we show you how to make staying stuck expensive  from spousal maintenance to the notice of intention to file, the warning letter Mum describes as "an unblocked drain" for stalled negotiations. No one stays stuck forever and we're here with you every step of the way. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Divorce Negotiations Stuck? 10 Tips to Move the Needle 01:00 – Three Phases: Soften, Smart Pressure, Make Stalling Expensive 02:00 – Why Divorce Negotiations Stall in Almost Every Case 03:00 – The Four Divorce Personality Types That Get Stuck 05:00 – Tip 1: Diagnose Why the Stall Is Happening 06:00 – Tip 2: Change the Packaging, Not the Offer 08:00 – Tip 3: Get Off the Percentages 10:00 – Why 50/50 Means Nothing Without Agreed Values 12:00 – Tip 4: Show the How, Not Just the Outcome 15:00 – Tip 5: Keep a Live Offer on the Table at All Times 17:00 – Making Offers When Disclosure Is Missing 20:00 – Tip 6: Treat Terrible Offers as Data and Bank Every Concession 23:00 – Tip 7: Let the Law Do the Arguing 25:00 – Finding Family Law Cases on AustLII and the Court Website 26:00 – Tip 8: Make the Maths Impossible to Ignore 29:00 – The 2% Spiral: When Arguing Costs More Than It's Worth 31:00 – Tip 9: Remove the Comfort Funding the Stall 33:00 – Spousal Maintenance: Not Sitting Pretty Anymore 35:00 – Tip 10: The Notice of Intention to File 38:00 – What Happens After You Send the Warning Letter 40:00 – Recap: All 10 Tips to Unstick Your Divorce 43:00 – Mindset: No One Stays Stuck Forever 48:00 – DIY Divorce Blueprint: Doors Closing 🎧 Episodes Mentioned Take the Divorce Personality Quiz (Ep 302) → https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/take-the-divorce-personality-quiz-learn-why-your/id1503451022?i=1000748290587 Percentages in Divorce Property Settlements Explained (Ep 214) → https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/percentages-in-divorce-property-settlements-explained/id1503451022?i=1000729446519 Costs, Family Court and Calderbank Offers (Ep 64) → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/costs-family-court-and-calderbank-offers/id1503451022?i=1000575595095 Divorce Dynamic: Balancing Power & Progress (Ep 165) → https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/divorce-dynamic-balancing-power-progress/id1503451022?i=1000666075743 🔗 Links & Resources 📞 1800 RESPECT — 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline — 13 11 14 🚓 Police — 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 Podcast blog & notes — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog 🎓 Enrol in the DIY Divorce Blueprint — www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/enroll If this episode helped you find a way to get your stuck divorce moving again, please follow, rate, review, and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find this information too. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side Co-Hosts of THE DIVORCE COURSE PODCAST

🎧 Listen if you… Are exhausted from justifying your divorce to everyone around you Have family pressuring you to "keep it amicable" or reconcile Suspect your ex has recruited your friends, in-laws or family Aren't sure your lawyer is actually in your corner This is general information only, not legal advice  always consult a lawyer about your circumstances. This episode discusses family violence and coercive control. In danger? Call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). You can do everything right in your divorce and still be exhausted because of the people standing around you 00:00 – Divorce Support Team: Why the People Around You Matter 02:30 – Why You Never Plan Your Team (But Should) 03:30 – Lyn's Divorce 40 Years Ago: Judgement in a Country Town 04:30 – Your Ex Is Not on Your Support Team 06:00 – Family Members: Who Helps and Who Hurts 08:00 – "Keep It Amicable" Is Code for "Just Give In" 09:30 – When Family Cares More About How It Looks 10:30 – Family Violence: When Family Pressure Becomes Unsafe 11:00 – It's Not Your Job to Explain Coercive Control to Everyone 12:00 – The One Loyal Family Member Who Saw Behind the Mask 13:00 – What to Say to Pressuring Family Members 14:30 – In-Laws: Pausing Even the Good Relationships 17:00 – Enabler In-Laws and When to Distance Fast 19:00 – Family Violence Orders: When Family Contact Breaks the Rules 20:30 – Friends: Who Rolls Up Their Sleeves vs Who Stays "Neutral" 23:00 – Judgy Friends and the Gossip Collectors 25:00 – Screenshots to Your Ex: The Social Media Trap 26:30 – Don't Forget the Fun Friends: Finding Glimmers of Joy 28:30 – Online Support Groups: The Risks Nobody Talks About 30:00 – Commenting Publicly About Your Case: Court Consequences 32:00 – The Tom Holland Rule for Handling Criticism 32:45 – Choosing a Lawyer: What the Right One Looks Like 36:00 – Lawyer Red Flags: Gatekeeping Your Story (Episode 166) 37:00 – Brave Lawyers vs Lawyers Afraid of Court 38:30 – The Three As: Affability, Availability, Ability 39:30 – Why You Need Your Own Psychologist 41:00 – Emotion-Driven Strategy: The Most Expensive Mistake 42:30 – Kids and School: One Contact Person + the Counsellor 45:30 – Church and Faith Communities: Support or Pressure? 49:00 – Your Kids Can't Be on Your Team 50:00 – Bad Podcasts, Reddit and Wrong Information 53:00 – Rapid Fire: Neutral Besties, Slow Lawyers & Nosy Sisters 56:30 – High-Conflict Ex: What Your Team Needs to Be 58:30 – Avoidant Ex: The Friends Who Do the Hard Yakka 59:30 – Manipulative & Controlling Ex: Vetting for Flying Monkeys 1:00:30 – Amicable Split: Why You Still Need a Team 1:01:45 – "It's My Decision": Mum's Cushion Wisdom 🔗 Resources 10 Essential Boundaries for a Healthier Divorce (Ep 173)  When In-Laws Interfere in Your Divorce (Ep 305)  Legal Gatekeeping: Is Your Lawyer Telling Your Full Story? (Ep 166) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 | Lifeline – 13 11 14 | Police – 000 The Divorce Course – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au If this episode helped you work out who belongs in your corner, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast.

🎧 LISTEN TO THIS EPISODE IF… You and your ex wrote something down, signed it, and you think it is sorted You spent a full day in mediation and signed a heads of agreement You have a parenting plan sitting in a drawer and you are relying on it You are about to sign something and you are not sure what it actually means Your ex agreed to something and has now changed their mind You want to know how to lock an agreement in so it cannot be undone ⚠️ General information only, not legal advice. Australian family law, and laws may have changed since recording. Always get your own independent legal advice. 🛟 This episode discusses coercive control, post-separation abuse and signing under duress. In danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732. ⏱️ EPISODE TIMELINE 00:00 – Is Your Divorce Agreement Actually Legally Binding? 01:00 – Welcome, Legal Disclaimer & Family Violence Warning 02:00 – The Four Ways People Reach an Agreement in Divorce 03:00 – Kitchen Table Agreements: Why They Are Not Enforceable 04:00 – Your Property Pool Is Valued Later, Not at Separation 05:00 – The Lotto Case: Post-Separation Money Is Still Shared 06:30 – You Cannot Split Superannuation Without Court Orders 08:20 – Stamp Duty, Refinancing & the Exemption You Lose 11:00 – No Clean Break: They Can Always Come Back for More 12:00 – Time Limits Keep Running While You Wait 13:40 – What a Kitchen Table Agreement Is Actually Good For 15:00 – Recap: The Six Risks of a Private Divorce Agreement 16:10 – Mediation: Is a Signed Heads of Agreement Binding? 18:40 – Settler's Remorse: Why One in Five Deals Fall Over 20:00 – When Your Ex Uses Mediation to Waste Your Time 21:00 – Why Mediation Feels Official When It Is Not 23:00 – How to Prepare Before You Walk Into Mediation 24:00 – Parenting Plans: Are They Legally Enforceable? 25:00 – What a Judge Actually Does With Your Parenting Plan 26:30 – Parenting Plan or Consent Orders: How to Choose 29:00 – Coerced Into 50/50? Stepped Parenting Plans Explained 31:00 – Pressured to Sign a Plan Before They Move Out 33:30 – Consent Orders: The One Agreement That Is Enforceable 35:20 – Contravention: What Happens If They Breach the Orders 36:40 – The Disclosure Catch That Can Undo Your Consent Orders 38:00 – Why Parenting and Property Orders Stay Separate 39:20 – Rapid Fire: Fraud, Duress & Recorded Conversations 40:40 – Which Agreement Suits Your Divorce Personality Type? 42:40 – Baby Steps: Final Thoughts & Next Steps 🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED Consent Orders or BFAs: Which Would You Choose? – https://share.google/BNQYdg1fGEoB1cD3l 📚 MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE Farmer & Bramley – the lottery win after separation case Woodland & Todd – the property pool is assessed at the date of hearing Family Law Act 1975 (Cth) s 90 – stamp duty exemption on transfers made under a court order 🔗 LINKS & RESOURCES 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🚓 Police – 000 (immediate danger) 🌐 The Divorce Course – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 🎓 Blog & Podcast – www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog   If this episode helped you understand what makes an agreement binding, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find this information too.

You left. So why doesn't it feel over yet? 🎧 Listen to this episode if… •  You've left, but the healing and closure you expected haven't arrived yet •  You can't tell which parts of your anxiety are trauma and which parts are just you •  Your body still reacts even though it's been months or years •  You're frightened of repeating the pattern with someone new •  You're still second-guessing your own judgment and decisions •  You want to know where to turn for support and what actually helps Part six, the final episode of our coercive control series, is all about you. Clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova joins Mum and me on the trauma that stays in your body, the window of tolerance and how to widen it, the shark cage, why coercive control has been called a cult of one, and how long recovery really takes. Guest: Krasi Kirova, Clinical Psychologist. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Healing After Coercive Control: Getting Yourself Back 02:00 – Disclaimer and Family Violence Trigger Warning 03:00 – "Which Parts Are Trauma and Which Parts Are Me?" 05:00 – What Trauma Really Is: What Happens Inside You 06:00 – Complex Trauma vs One-Off Trauma Explained 08:00 – "My Body Is Still in the Trenches" a Year On 09:00 – The Window of Tolerance and Why Yours Narrowed 11:00 – Calming Your Nervous System in the Moment 12:00 – Widening the Window: Rest, Sleep and Movement 17:00 – Sensory Tools vs Daily Practices: What Helps Most 19:00 – Co-Regulation: Why You Heal Around Safe People 22:00 – "How Do I Trust My Own Judgment Again?" 24:00 – Trust Is Built in Small Increments, Not All at Once 26:00 – How Capable People End Up There More Than Once 28:00 – The Shark Cage: Building Your Own Protection 30:00 – Red Flags and Writing Your Own No-Go List 33:00 – Testing a New Partner and Knowing Your Alarm Bells 37:00 – Krasi's Research Call-Out: Share Your Experience 39:00 – "Will I Ever Understand Why He Did This?" 42:00 – Still Living by Their Rules: Coercive Control as a Cult of One 44:00 – Rebuilding Autonomy and Learning to Tolerate Guilt 48:00 – Untangling Self-Blame and "The Part I Played" 52:00 – How Long Does Recovery Actually Take? 54:00 – Post-Traumatic Growth and What Becomes Possible 59:00 – Where to Turn: Services That Can Actually Help 01:03:00 – Closing the Series and the Cushions 🎧 Episodes Mentioned Ep 323 – Coercive Control vs a Bad Relationship https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-vs-a-bad-relationship-how-to-tell/id1503451022?i=1000774925805 Ep 324 – Coercive Control Separated Under One Roof https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-while-separated-under-one-roof-how/id1503451022?i=1000775886114 Ep 325 – Financial Abuse and Coercive Control https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/financial-abuse-and-coercive-control-when-money/id1503451022?i=1000776879697 Ep 326 – Coercive Control and Your Kids https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/coercive-control-and-your-kids-how-to-protect-your/id1503451022?i=1000777679728 Ep 330 – How Do I Prove Coercive Control? https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/how-do-i-prove-coercive-control-the-evidence-that/id1503451022?i=1000779988943 Ep 216 – The Post-Divorce Glow-Up https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/the-post-divorce-glow-up-steps-to-emotional-recovery/id1503451022?i=1000731905804 Ep 322 – Survival Mode in Divorce: 3 Anchors https://podcasts.apple.com/au/podcast/survival-mode-in-divorce-3-anchors-to-steady-yourself/id1503451022?i=1000773944015 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au  |  🎓 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog Krasi's research survey: https://jtwqtij4vdy.typeform.com/to/bjpm4Gy2 The Body Keeps the Score (Bessel van der Kolk) | The Shark Cage (Ursula Benstead) | Emma Katz research | EMDR If this episode helped, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast.

🎧 Listen to this episode if… •  Your ex has said they will not discuss money until parenting is agreed •  You are not sure whether to sort property or parenting first, or both together •  You are separated under one roof and nothing is moving •  You have been handed an offer with a 24-hour deadline and it feels like pressure •  Your ex has suddenly started pushing hard for 50/50 after showing little interest •  You are heading into mediation and want to know what to do if they ambush you ⚠️ Disclaimer & Support General information only, not legal advice. Australian family law. Always get advice about your own situation. This episode discusses coercive control and financial abuse. In danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732. Lifeline 13 11 14. Episode Summary "I am not discussing property until parenting is sorted." It sounds like a rule. It is not. Mum and I unpack whether the order matters, where property and parenting really overlap, the time limits you cannot miss, and the eight stalling tactics we are seeing right now – the hostage swap, the circle walk, the 50/50 care play, the disclosure drip, the attrition strategy, the mediation ambush, the generosity trap and weaponised urgency. Plus the interim property distribution most self-represented people have never heard of. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Property or Parenting First? Why Your Ex Wants to Control the Order 02:00 – Where Property and Parenting Actually Collide 04:00 – Why Some Exes Insist on Parenting First 06:00 – When Stalling Becomes Coercive Control and Economic Abuse 07:00 – Property Time Limits: De Facto vs Married Explained 09:00 – Can You Run Property and Parenting Together? Yes 11:00 – Mediation, 60I Certificates and Doing Both at Once 12:00 – Is There Any Good Reason to Keep Them Separate? 15:00 – "Who Died and Made Them Boss?" Taking Back Control 17:00 – Dirty Trick 1: The Hostage Swap 18:00 – The Line That Shuts It Down: "That's Not the Law" 20:00 – The Power Imbalance Test You Can Do Today 22:00 – Dirty Trick 2: The Circle Walk 23:00 – Interim Property Distribution: The Real Circuit Breaker 26:00 – Dirty Trick 3: The 50/50 Care Play 29:00 – Dirty Trick 4: The Disclosure Drip and Section 71B 31:00 – Dirty Trick 5: The Attrition Strategy and Wearing You Down 34:00 – Dirty Trick 6: The Mediation Ambush 36:00 – Filing in Court: Why the Registrar Changes Everything 38:00 – Dirty Trick 7: The Generosity Trap 40:00 – Dirty Trick 8: Weaponised Urgency and Fake Deadlines 42:00 – Sequencing by Personality Type: Which Order Suits Which Ex 44:00 – Rapid Fire: Your Biggest Property and Parenting Questions 47:00 – Rapid Fire for People Already in Court 50:00 – The Double-Sided Cushion: Your Two Sticky Notes 🎧 Episodes Mentioned Episode 213 – The Hidden Connection: Custody Battles & Property Splits in Divorce https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/the-hidden-connection-custody-battles-property-splits/id1503451022?i=1000728151220 Episode 191 – What Your Lawyer Might Forget to Tell You: Unlocking Funds Before Property Settlement Is Final https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/what-your-lawyer-might-forget-to-tell-you-unlocking/id1503451022?i=1000702792838 Episode 218 – Business Tricks in Divorce: 10 Sneaky Tactics to Watch Out For and Outsmart https://podcasts.apple.com/ph/podcast/business-tricks-in-divorce-10-sneaky-tactics-to-watch/id1503451022?i=1000733969897 Links & Resources 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au  |  🎓 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog Family Law Act 1975 – s 60CC, s 71B, s 79  |  Federal Circuit and Family Court – www.fcfcoa.gov.au If this episode helped, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast. All our best, Laura & Lyn Your Guides By Your Side Co-Hosts of THE DIVORCE COURSE PODCAST

You know it was abuse. But written down, each moment sounds small. This is the episode about proving it. Part 5 of our six-part coercive control series with clinical psychologist Krasi Kirova. Mum and I work through your questions on affidavits, evidence, police reports and what the family court is actually looking for. LISTEN IF YOU... - Have kept notes for a year and worry they sound petty - Have been told by a lawyer that coercive control does not matter - Reported to police and were dismissed because there was no stalking or tracking - Are writing an affidavit and do not know what to include - Are still being controlled through emails, handovers and admin after final orders - Are terrified of going back to court This is general information, not legal or psychological advice. It reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your situation. Always get independent advice. This episode discusses coercive control, family violence, financial abuse and sexual betrayal. If you are in danger call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732. 00:00 - Explaining Coercive Control When No One Believes You 01:00 - Series Recap and Meet Clinical Psychologist Krasi Kirova 02:30 - Legal Disclaimer and Family Violence Trigger Warning 03:50 - Stacy: How Do I Make My Notes Matter in Court? 06:00 - Why Each Incident Sounds Petty: The Puzzle Piece Problem 07:00 - Death by a Thousand Cuts: Proving Cumulative Harm 09:30 - When the Judge Spots the Pattern Themselves 10:30 - What Courts Look For: Coercive Control and the Property Pool 14:00 - Your Affidavit Is the Proof, So You Have to Say It 14:20 - Anonymous: Should Infidelity Go in My Affidavit? 18:00 - DARVO Explained: Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender 19:00 - Win: Can I Use Voice Memos and Home Security Footage? 21:40 - Legal Gatekeeping: When Your Lawyer Says It Does Not Matter 26:00 - How to Change Lawyers Mid-Case Without the Confrontation 28:00 - Katina: The Police Dismissed My Coercive Control Report 30:00 - The Empower You App and Finding a Station That Listens 33:20 - Roberta: Protection Orders When He Explains Everything Away 35:00 - Why Criminal, DV and Family Courts Do Not Talk to Each Other 37:00 - Samantha: Post-Separation Control After Final Orders 41:40 - Grey Rock, Escalation and When to Get a Risk Assessment 43:30 - Coercive Control Versus Ordinary Co-Parenting Conflict 46:30 - Admin Burden as Control: Fix It in Your Parenting Orders 50:00 - Jenna: When His Lawyer Becomes the Mouthpiece 54:00 - Lee: Fear of Court and a Teenager Who Will Not Visit 58:00 - Court Fear Is the Last Hook They Have Left 01:00:00 - Gina: What Evidence Is Actually Enough? 01:02:00 - Thresholds: Therapist Versus Police Versus Family Court 01:04:00 - The Marathon Analogy: Kicked, Then Blamed for Slowing Down 01:06:00 - Never Stop Documenting Until the Behaviour Stops 01:12:00 - The Magistrate Who Knew What Coercive Control Was 01:14:30 - Krasi's Conference Talk and Next Week: Healing EPISODES MENTIONED DARVO in the Family Court - https://youtu.be/pRMOfozwBKs?si=-YgsXkz8ybMB_lkr Documenting Coercive Control - https://youtu.be/SIyXCGXH5nw?si=SY_8UNT5puZ7Uj_F Reporting to Police, Step by Step - https://youtu.be/s7vH5a9y7cA?si=sm1ReJaVxsvqKlNS 1800 RESPECT - 1800 737 732 (24/7 DV support) Lifeline - 13 11 14 Police - 000 (immediate danger) The Divorce Course - www.thedivorcecourse.com.au The Divorce Course Podcast - www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog Empower You app - free documentation app run by NSW Police Krasi Kirova - clinical psychologist and board-approved supervisor Share your experience anonymously for Krasi's conference talk: [LINK] If this episode helped you understand how to prove coercive control, please follow, rate, review and share The Divorce Course Podcast so others going through the same thing can find this information too.

Are you about to separate and have absolutely no idea what happens to the house? Do you keep it? Do you sell it? Do you have to be the one who leaves? And what happens to the mortgage? 🎧 Listen to this episode if… - You don't know whether you can keep the house or have to sell it, The mortgage is in both names and you're panicking about who pays it, You've been told that if you move out, you lose your claim to the house, Your ex is stalling, sabotaging the sale, or refusing to sign anything, You want to keep the kids in the same home and the same school, You're heading into mediation and need to know your options ⚠️  not legal advice. This reflects Australian family law and may not apply to your situation. Always get independent legal advice. Discussions of financial and economic abuse. If you're in danger, call 000. Support: 1800 RESPECT 1800 737 732. 00:00 – What Happens to the House When You Separate? 01:10 – Net Equity Explained: What the House Is Really Worth 02:05 – No Special Rule Book, With One Exception: Housing the Children 03:45 – Does Someone Have to Move Out to Be Separated? 05:05 – Myth Busted: Moving Out Doesn't Lose You the House 06:20 – When Your Ex Runs the House Down Before the Valuation 07:10 – Who Pays the Mortgage? Spousal Maintenance Explained 09:30 – Financial Abuse and Section 4AB of the Family Law Act 09:55 – Do You Have to Sell the House If You Separate? 10:45 – Working Out What the House Is Actually Worth 12:10 – How Assets Get Balanced: The Caravan Example 13:15 – Your Options: Keep It, Sell It, or Hold It Jointly 14:35 – Falling Prices, Negative Equity and Bidding at Auction 16:50 – Keeping the House: The Step-by-Step Process 17:20 – Why the Order Comes First: The Stamp Duty Exemption 19:20 – How to Work Out the Buyout Figure 21:30 – Can You Actually Afford It? See a Mortgage Broker 23:15 – Why Every Consent Order Needs a Backup Plan 24:50 – Kids and the House: Does It Give You an Edge? 26:20 – Expensive Suburbs, School Catchments and Staying Put 28:35 – The Tarzan Principle: Getting to the Next House 31:40 – Should You Buy a New House Before Settlement? 34:20 – Selling Together When You Can Barely Speak 35:25 – Staging, "Sold As Is" and Missing Kitchens 38:10 – Choosing a Real Estate Agent You Both Agree On 39:25 – Court Orders to Sell and Holding Funds in Trust 42:25 – When Your Ex Sabotages the Sale 47:40 – The High-Conflict Ex and the House 49:15 – The Avoidant Ex and Avoidant-Proof Orders 51:20 – The Manipulative Ex and Delay Tactics 52:50 – Amicable? Don't Rely on a Handshake 54:40 – Don't Let Buyers Know It's a Divorce Sale 55:55 – When Your Ex Won't Sign: Section 106A Explained 57:20 – What It Costs to Go to Court Over the House 59:00 – A Home Is Just a House: The Emotional Side 🎧 EPISODES MENTIONED What Happens With the Mortgage https://youtu.be/8yNEHlHC-JE?si=hCyc9PcxW3BbTUDd Inheritances https://youtu.be/FKK6NIU4sEk?si=oAOCl-INyhnvO_M0 I Really Want to Keep the House https://youtu.be/sblG_qVXhG4?si=ydHgafJTRDRr6g74 Selling the House https://youtu.be/kd9MUMeKaKQ?si=dTTugpHus_6Qe7oF 📖 FULL SHOW NOTES, including every case, section and resource mentioned in this episode: www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/blog 📞 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 (24/7) 📞 Lifeline – 13 11 14 🚓 Police – 000 🌐 www.thedivorcecourse.com.au Family Law Act 1975 – s79(5) and s90SM (housing the children), s4AB (family violence and economic abuse), s90 (stamp duty relief), s106A (registrar signing documents). If this episode helped you please follow, rate, review, and share so others going through the same thing can find this information too.