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This podcast episode is about values: what they are, why "just set some boundaries" was always going to fail, and ways to find yours in your everyday life. What you will learn: A definition of values.Why being a good parent is not a value.The two places your direction gets supplied from when you do not have your own: approval and avoidanceThree practices to tap onto what matters to you in your everyday life. You can finish these: get the promotionrun the racehave the conversation with your brotherclear the inbox You cannot finish these: Being patientBeing honestBeing generousBeing unhurried The first list is goals: you complete them, you check them off, and then you need new ones. The second list is values. Resources mentioned: Playing-It-Safe Questionnaire (free) → https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/Values-Based Review: Life Audit (free) → https://proud-snow-5694.ck.page/d2a5e77ba3ACT Coaching for anxiety-based struggles → https://eastbaybehaviortherapycenter.com/act-coaching/Therapy at East Bay Behavior Therapy Center → https://eastbaybehaviortherapycenter.com/ About Dr. Z Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z) is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing It Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 267,000 views. And if this episode is helpful, I welcome a review on Apple Podcast. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Two hours at dinner. You were there for about twenty minutes of it. You are at dinner with people you love, and you are in a meeting that happens on Thursday. You are running it: what I will say, what they will say back, and when Thursday is done playing, your mind goes backward to a conversation from three weeks ago that you have now replayed forty times. This episode is about contact with the present moment, one of the six core psychological processes in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). What you will learn: The definition of contact with the present moment.Why replaying a conversation forty times feels like learning and what it pays you every time.Three practices that take about ten seconds each, plus how to tell whether you are using grounding to come back or to leave. Resources mentioned: Playing-It-Safe Questionnaire (free) → https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/Values-Based Review: Life Audit (free) → https://proud-snow-5694.ck.page/d2a5e77ba3ACT Coaching for anxiety-based struggles → https://eastbaybehaviortherapycenter.com/act-coaching/Therapy at East Bay Behavior Therapy Center → https://eastbaybehaviortherapycenter.com/ About Dr. Z Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z) is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing It Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 267,000 views. And if this episode is helpful, I welcome a review on Apple Podcast. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There is a difference between having a description and being one. An email comes in asking you to run the training, and before you finish reading it, your mind says, "I am not a teacher. I am not that kind of person." You get hooked, you write back something gracious, and you route it to somebody else. This episode is about self as context, one of the six core psychological processes in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and it is the one Dr. Z finds the hardest to explain and the most useful once it lands. The episode draws the line between self as content (every description your mind produces of who you are) and self as context (the place all of those descriptions show up). Not a better description of you. The room the furniture is in. What you will learn: Self as content versus self as context and why a description of yourself does not feel like a thought, but like a fact about your species.How this differs from defusion, which the two processes get confused for constantly.The four costs of living only in the description, including why you end up defending the descriptions that hurt you.Why the flattering labels cost you just as much: “I am the strong one, I am the reliable one, I am the person who never drops the ball.”The chessboard: both armies are yours, which is why you have never been able to win that fight.The continuity demonstration: what the nine-year-old, the twenty-two-year-old, and you actually have in common.Why self-esteem work keeps you inside the description, arguing about the score.Four practices, including the two words that do the whole job in four seconds. Resources mentioned: Values-Based Review: Life Audit (free) → https://proud-snow-5694.ck.page/d2a5e77ba3Playing-It-Safe Questionnaire (free) → https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ACT Coaching for anxiety-based struggles → https://eastbaybehaviortherapycenter.com/act-coaching/Therapy at East Bay Behavior Therapy Center → https://eastbaybehaviortherapycenter.com/ About Dr. Z Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z) is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing It Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 267,000 views. And if this episode is helpful, I welcome a review on Apple Podcast. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 267K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

There's an email that's been sitting in your drafts for eleven days, and the only thing stopping it is one sentence in your head that you've never checked. This episode is about defusion, one of the six core processes in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and about what happens when a thought and the world get glued together so tightly you can't tell them apart. Dr. Z explains defusion in plain language, why the thoughts that run your life sound like good judgment instead of fear, and how most of them are orders you've been following for years without calling them orders. Then, you get four skills to put a little daylight between the sentence and what your hands do next. What you will learn: Defusion, plainlyWhy your mind says it's cold outside and you're going to humiliate yourself in exactly the same voice.Why arguing with the thought or swapping it for a positive one keeps you in the same fight.Four ways to practice delusion. Resources mentioned: Audio guide You're not your thoughts (free) → https://proud-snow-5694.kit.com/89ff3918d3Playing-It-Safe Questionnaire (free) → https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ACT Coaching for anxiety-based struggles → https://eastbaybehaviortherapycenter.com/act-coaching/Therapy at East Bay Behavior Therapy Center → https://eastbaybehaviortherapycenter.com/ About Dr. Z Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z) is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing It Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 267,000 views. If this episode helped you recognize one playing-it-safe move in your own life, a review on Apple Podcasts means everything to me. I read every single one. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your mind runs a control agenda all day long. Some of its strategies are obvious: distraction, keeping busy, opting out. And some look nothing like control at all: the silver lining, the blessing count, the lesson. Same job, better manners. This episode is about acceptance, the first of the six processes in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, and about the half of the definition almost nobody teaches. What you will learn: Why looking on the bright side belongs on the same list as distraction and having a drink.The workability question: not is it true, but is it giving you the life you want?What acceptance is How to practice acceptance Resources mentioned: Values-Based Review: Life Audit (free) → https://proud-snow-5694.ck.page/d2a5e77ba3Playing-It-Safe Questionnaire (free) → https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ACT Coaching for anxiety-based struggles → https://eastbaybehaviortherapycenter.com/act-coaching/Therapy at East Bay Behavior Therapy Center → https://eastbaybehaviortherapycenter.com/ About Dr. Z Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z) is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing It Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 267,000 views. If this episode helped you recognize one playing-it-safe move in your own life, a review on Apple Podcasts means everything to me. I read every single one. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 267K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're not avoiding the conversation. You're avoiding how it will feel to have it. If you've ever reorganized your inbox instead of making the difficult call or started researching instead of starting the thing, this episode is for you. This episode unpacks experiential avoidance: the mechanism underneath every playing-it-safe behavior. What you will learn: What experiential avoidance actually is, in plain language, no jargon, and why it's the engine behind ALL playing-it-safe behaviors including procrastination, overthinking, perfectionism, and people-pleasing.Why your avoidance is intelligent and well-intentioned, and what it's costing you anyway.What psychological research tells us about how experiential avoidance predicts psychological suffering across every population studied.Willingness, and why it is NOT positive thinking, spiritual bypass, or "just feeling your feelings." Resources mentioned: Playing-it-safe questionnaire: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ACT Beyond Perfectionism (online course): https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/act-beyond-perfectionismACT for Indecisiveness (online course): https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/how-to-shift-from-indecisiveness-into-actionValues-Based Life Audit (free resource): https://proud-snow-5694.ck.page/d2a5e77ba3ACT Coaching at East Bay Behavior Therapy Center: https://eastbaybehaviortherapycenter.com/act-coaching/ About Dr. Z: Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z) is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing It Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 266,000 views. If this episode helped you recognize one playing-it-safe move in your own life, a review on Apple Podcasts means everything to me. I read every single one. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You've been calling it acceptance. But, if your world has gotten quieter, smaller, and safer since the painful thing happened, that might be resignation. In this episode, Dr. Z tackles one of the most confusing distinctions in ACT: the difference between acceptance and resignation. If you've been thinking repetitively about a past loss, failure, or regret (going back over it, telling yourself you're learning from it, then finding yourself in the exact same loop tomorrow), this episode is for you. You'll leave with a clear understanding of what acceptance actually is (and is not), and a concrete four-step practice you can use today. What you will learn: The exact difference between acceptance and resignation — and why they feel the same from the insideWhat the war against your anxiety is actually costing you — and what changes when you stop fighting itWhy you don't have to wait for the pain to go away before taking values-based action Resources: Playing-It-Safe Questionnaire (free, 5 minutes): https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ACT Workbook for the Anxious Procrastinator: https://a.co/d/gAR36j9Acceptance and Commitment Skills for Perfectionism and High-Achieving Behaviors: https://amzn.to/3xT7j0TFree Audio Guide on ACT for High-Achieving Behaviors: https://proud-snow-5694.ck.page/73a2c1b566 Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z) is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing-It-Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 266,000 views. If this episode helped you recognize one playing-it-safe move in your own life, a review on Apple Podcasts means everything to me. I read every single one. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You're not missing information. You're missing a different question. This episode is for anyone sitting inside an impossible decision, one where every option feels wrong, the pros-and-cons list has been rewritten twelve times, you've talked to everyone you trust, and you still can't move. Your mind wasn't built for situations where both choices cost you something you care about. More deliberation isn't the answer, it's the trap. And there is a question that cuts through all of it. Not "what's the right choice?", but "what do I want to stand for here?" Resources mentioned: Values-Based Review (free): https://proud-snow-5694.ck.page/d2a5e77ba3ACT for Indecisiveness course: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/how-to-shift-from-indecisiveness-into-actionPlaying-It-Safe Questionnaire (free): https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona (Dr. Z) is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing It Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 266,000 views. If this episode helped you recognize one playing-it-safe move in your own life, a review on Apple Podcasts means everything to me. I read every single one. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

She was at every party. But she was never fully in the room. Safety crutches, the subtle playing-it-safe moves that keep anxiety temporarily quiet, look nothing like avoidance. You're showing up. You're present. But you're also carrying a shield. And the shield is costing you every moment of real connection you're trying to build. This episode is for anyone who has ever walked into a situation with a plan already in place to feel less exposed — and wondered why the situation still felt so far away. In this episode, you will learn: What safety crutches actually are and why they look like coping but function like avoidanceWhy Paul Salkovskis's research on safety behaviors shows that the relief is borrowed — and what you're borrowing againstWhat research on psychological flexibility reveals about why fighting anxiety makes it louderACT skilsl for dropping subtle safety behaviors, one small moment at a timeWhat your specific safety crutch is almost certainly protecting, and why that thing matters Resources mentioned: Playing-It-Safe Questionnaire: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ About Dr. Z: Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona, Dr. Z., is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing It Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 265,000 views. If this episode helped you recognize one playing-it-safe move in your own life, a review on Apple Podcasts means everything to me. I read every single one. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

She got the answer. Felt better for twelve minutes. Then she asked again. Reassurance-seeking is one of the most common and least-recognized playing-it-safe behaviors. It looks like due diligence. It feels like self-care. And it is quietly tightening the anxiety loop every time you do it. This episode is for anyone who has ever Googled the same question in six different ways, or sent the same question to three different people to see if the answer would finally stick. In this episode, you will learn: Why reassurance feels like relief but functions like a tightening spiralWhat Stanley Rachman's research reveals about why safety behaviors maintain, not reduce, anxietyHow Michel Dugas's intolerance of uncertainty model explains why more information is never enoughACT skills for interrupting the checking loop without white-knuckling through itThe values-based reason the checking is worth interrupting Resources mentioned: Playing-It-Safe Questionnaire: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ About Dr. Z: Dr. Patricia Zurita Ona, Dr. Z., is a licensed psychologist, author of eight books, and TEDx speaker who has spent over 18 years helping overthinkers and overachievers stop letting anxiety make their decisions. She is the founder of East Bay Behavior Therapy Center in Walnut Creek, California, and the host of the Playing It Safe podcast. Her TEDx talk "Stop Playing It Safe and Start Living" has over 265,000 views. If this episode helped you recognize one playing-it-safe move in your own life, a review on Apple Podcasts means everything to me. I read every single one. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The presentation went well. For two days after, he couldn't stop replaying the four seconds when he lost his train of thought. His mind decided those four seconds were the truth about the whole thing, not the standing ovation. The four seconds. That's overvaluing and overidentifying with your thoughts, which is playing-it-safe behavior #7. In Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), we call it cognitive fusion, and research shows that the harder you try to push the thought away, the louder it comes back. The skill isn't changing the thought. It's changing your relationship to it. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

After a distraction, it takes an average of 23 minutes to return to the original task. Not because you're weak. Because your environment was built using the same behavioral principles as slot machines to pull your attention away from what matters. Final episode of the Anxious Procrastinator series, the neuroscience of focus and what committed action actually looks like when you bring everything together. What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe? _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Accurately estimating how hard something will be requires sitting with the discomfort of its difficulty. And your mind would rather not. In this new episode of Playing-It-Safe we discussed the research on time, flow states, and four principles that actually work for overthinkers and overachievers. What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe? _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

"I want to finish this project" sounds like moving toward something. But, underneath it is often "I'm terrified of what it means if I don't." New episode of Playing-It-Safe: the three goal traps and the research on what actually produces commitment, satisfaction, and follow-through. What would you do this week if you weren't playing-it-safe? _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Your mind has a highly convincing list of reasons why right now isn’t the right time. In this episode, we unpack why those excuses sound so incredibly rational, how your brain uses them to keep you safe (and stuck), and the one behavioral shift that actually moves you forward. _______ STOP LETTING ANXIETY MAKE YOUR DECISIONS WHO AM I? My name is Patricia E. Zurita Ona, but my clients call me Dr. Z. I’m a psychologist, a passionate behaviorist, and a person that loves to make behavioral science accessible for day-to-day life. I specialize in Acceptance and Commitment skills (ACT), a form of Cognitive Behavior Therapy (CBT). I have significant experience – over 18 years – working with individuals dealing with anxiety-based struggles such as perfectionism, procrastination, chronic indecision, phobias, OCD, panic, worry, and any other anxiety-related difficulties. I've published books on ACT, given a TEDx talk with 260K+ views, founded East Bay Behavior Therapy Center, and spent two decades proving one thing: Your anxiety doesn't need fixing. It needs listening to. Because most of the time, anxiety is just trying to keep you safe, the problem is when "safe" becomes "stuck." And once you know the difference, everything changes. My website is packed with resources, courses and content that will help you break free from those "playing-it-safe" moves and make the most out of your life! GET ACT SKILLS IN YOUR INBOX: Sign up to my newsletter to get actionable skills into your inbox! https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-newsletter/ HERE IS WHERE TO START: 1. TAKE THE PLAYING-IT-SAFE QUESTIONNAIRE: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-questionnaire/ 2. ONLINE COURSES: https://courses.thisisdoctorz.com/ 3. PODCAST: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-podcast/ 4. BOOKS: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/books/ 5. BLOG: https://www.thisisdoctorz.com/playing-it-safe-blog/ Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.