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★★★★☆

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We get curious about all things gender, sex and sexuality, as well as relationships, feminism (the inclusive kind), mental health and kink, and all that makes us humans unique and diverse. From body positivity to body dysmorphia, it's all welcome here. Come with us on a journey of inclusion, acceptance and respect. This podcast is for you if: • You're curious and want to learn more about experiences of gender outside the gender binary; • You are questioning your gender, or • You have a loved one who is, and you want to learn how to best support them. Other topics we cover on this podcast include neurodivergence, disability, parenting and family, transitioning, hormone therapy and other medical affirmative interventions, (extreme) body modification, BDSM, attraction types including asexuality and aromanticism, and much more. There is a content warning for sensitive subjects at the start of the episode if it applies. Esther (she/they/fae) is a creative rebel, intuitive designer, and queer mystic. She's also an artist, writer, truth seeker, and gentle activist. Generally non-conforming, she likes to refer to herself as a 'rebel with a cause'. Her motto is "do YOUR thing, YOUR way", and she passionately believes that authentic, unapologetic and at times radical self-expression is the most important gift we can give to ourselves – and to the world. Wanna know what it takes to be a better ally to gender-diverse folks? Register for our upcoming allyship course and receive FREE resources about gender-neutral language and pronoun examples: https://www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/allyship-course/ Find us on Facebook, Instagram & Twitter: @50ShadesGender Find us on YouTube. LinkedIn & Patreon: Fifty Shades Of Gender

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114. NENO: genderfluid lesbian [word witch]

2026/01/15

Neno is a writer, poet, book coach, and podcaster. Neno's pronouns are they/she and they are a genderfluid lesbian word witch. Find out what that means to Neno in this episode. We also talk about compulsory heterosexuality, performative femininity, how gender dysphoria can be fleeting, finding queer community as an introvert, active rest, imposter syndrome of queerness, representation in books and stories, and embracing your magick. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/neno

113. A PARIERA: non-binary trans man

2025/12/11

A Pariera is a philosopher, guide, and mentor, rethinking self, identity, and reality. A's pronouns are he/they, and he identifies as a non-binary trans man. Find out what that means to A in this episode. We talk about his journey from transitioning to detransitioning to retransitioning, going inward on a soul quest, embracing the journey, deconditioning, returning to home in the body, feeling safe, redefining masculinity and femininity and a spiritual and energetic perspective on these, and taking the long road. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/a

112. RAVEN: genderqueer, relationship anarchist (bisexual)

2025/09/04

Raven is a creative coach, artist, parent, and LGBTQIA+ community activist. Raven's pronouns are they/them, and they are genderqueer, a relationship anarchist, and bisexual. Find out what that means to Raven in this episode. We also talk about queering everything, breaking the rules, the assumptions people make about gender in relation to bodies, how labels describe us but don't define us, the importance of local community and looking after each other, and letting the unknown be exciting and full of opportunity. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/raven

111. KELSEY BYERS: agender, asexual, disabled, neurodivergent, queer

2025/08/07

Kelsey J.R.P. Byers is an evolutionary geneticist and chemical ecologist, lover of all things nature, and advocate for accessibility and inclusion of minoritized groups in academia. Kelsey uses any/all pronouns, but they get a little frisson of gender-validation/euphoria when people don't use she/her. They are agender, asexual, disabled, neurodivergent, and queer. Find out what that means to Kelsey in this episode. We also talk about the link between gender and neurodivergence, shared experiences, assumptions and stereotyping about disability and sexuality, split attraction, the nuance of asexuality, desire, and physical responses, the superpower and shadow sides of neurodivergence, how to have consensual conversations about personal subjects, and the importance of just listening. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/kelsey

110. DEANNA MARIE JONES: transgender woman

2025/07/03

Deanna Marie Jones is a speaker, consultant, and LGBTQ+ advocate, with a history in corporate technology. Deanna's pronouns are she/her, and she is a transgender woman. Find out what that means to Deanna in this episode. We also talk about the positive evolution of the job industry, what good leadership looks like, the importance of finding community, and what allies can do to help. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/deanna

109. FINN EVANS: trans-masculine, trans man, queer

2025/03/06

Finn Evans is an artist, writer, film director, and owner of the production company Chudatsi. Finn's pronouns are he/him, and he is trans-masculine and queer. He also uses the label trans man. Find out what that means to Finn in this episode.We also talk about challenges with gendered language, finding your people, what labels feel like home, intersectionality and discrimination, the importance of accurate media representation and celebrating genuine efforts at it, tackling misinformation, and letting people evolve. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/finn

108. 'IRREGULAR JENN' WILSON: gender non-conforming, genderqueer, non-binary, neuroqueer

2024/11/28

'Irregular Jenn' Wilson is a writer, coach, and educator, founder of the company Irregular and of the International Day of Consent, which takes place annually on November 30th, and organiser of the upcoming I Do Consent summit, which runs from November 30th until December 2nd. Jenn's pronouns are they/them (she/her is ok) and the labels they use are gender non-conforming, genderqueer, non-binary, and neuroqueer. They also refer to themself as female and woman-shaped, as well as neurodivergent, polyamorous, a relationship anarchist, bisexual, and pansexual. Find out what that means to Jenn in this episode. We also talk about creating inclusive spaces, neuroqueering everything, unmasking, consent as a practice, misunderstandings around polyamory and relationship anarchy, liberating ourselves, and being a little bit braver. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/jenn-wilson Find out more about the I Do Consent summit here:: https://bemore.irregular.org.uk/idocsummit24s

107. HELENA KEY: transgender woman, pansexual, bipolar

2024/11/07

Helena Key is a queer author and founder of an independent publishing company. Helena's pronouns are she/her, and she is a transgender woman, pansexual, and bipolar. Find out what that means to Helena in this episode. We also talk about transitioning while parenting a young child, building trust in relationships, the overlap between bipolar disorder and ADHD, challenges in calling out problematic behaviour and opinions in groups, alternative publishing company structures, writing authentic characters, and how to get a more realistic representation of LGBTQIA+ and other marginalised people in books, films, and TV. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/helena

106. ANSHAR SERAPHIM: non-binary dominant [autistic]

2024/07/04

Anshar Seraphim is a consultant, trainer, speaker, and neurodiversity advocate. Anshar likes they/them pronouns, but because they present as male, they don't really mind he/him. They identify as non-binary, because of their lack of exposure to gender constructs as an autistic person. Find out what that means to Anshar in this episode. We also talk about expectations of maleness, sensory difficulties, navigating relationships, social exclusion and isolation, making connections, masking, opening up conversations, effective listening, and learning how to treat each other well. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/anshar

105. SOFIE HAGEN: non-binary, queer

2024/05/23

Sofie Hagen is a multi-award-winning London-based Danish comedian, author, podcaster, and content creator. Her new book, Will I Ever Have Sex Again? Is out today, May 23rd, 2024. Sofie's pronouns are she/her and they/them, and they are non-binary and queer. Find out what that means to Sofie in this episode. We also talk about being raised as a person, how boundaries can be a gift, that safe sex is as much about being present as it is about using protection, that all bodies are new bodies when it comes to having sex, how fatness often complicates everything to do with gender, building self-trust, and becoming a safe person for yourself. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/sofie

104. JASON LEE: intersex, transgender (trans man), heterosexual, neurodiverse

2024/04/25

Jason Lee is an LGBTQI+ Youth Worker, previous presenter on The T-Boys Show on Pride Radio, and the first legally married transgender person in the UK. Jason's pronouns are he/him, and he is intersex and transgender (a trans man), as well as heterosexual and neurodiverse. Find out what that means to Jason in this episode. We also talk about disconnecting from the body and reclaiming yourself, the role of genetics in hormone therapy, and Gender Recognition Act reform. CW: suicide, bulllying, electric shock therapy, sexual assault, abuse, and trauma. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/jason

103. RAY BRIGGS: genderqueer, boi, practicing bisexual, T4T

2024/02/29

Ray Briggs is professor of philosophy at Stanford University, co-host of the radio show Philosophy Talk, and co-author of the book What Even Is Gender? Ray's pronouns are they/them (he/him is also ok) and they are genderqueer, boi, and also a practicing bisexual, and T4T. Find out what that means to Ray in this episode. We also talk about ways to be queer, the expansiveness of the term bisexual, philosophy and decision making, ignoring possibilities, the essence of womanhood (or lack thereof), testosterone's physical and emotional effects, how to define aggression, consent policies, and being impossible. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/ray-briggs

102. CARRIE MARSHALL: trans woman, lesbian, demisexual

2023/12/28

Carrie Marshall is a writer, musician, and author of her memoir, Carrie Kills A Man. Carrie's pronouns are she/her, and she is a trans woman. She's also a lesbian, and demisexual. Find out what that means to Carrie in this episode. We also talk about transness only making sense in the rearview mirror, how much more challenging things can become once you start transition, what the anti-trans movement has in common with the witch trials, being ambushed in the media, why everything is gendered, hope for the future, and walking unafraid. CW: mention of suicide. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/carrie

101. MATTIA MAURÉE: nonbinary trans, agender, genderqueer, transmasc, autigender, audhd, relationship anarchy, poly, queer [neuroqueer]

2023/11/30

Mattia Maurée is a composer, writer, AuDHD coach, and founder and host of the podcasts The Longer Road and AuDHD Flourishing. Mattia's pronouns are they/them, and they are nonbinary trans, agender, genderqueer, transmasc, autigender, AuDHD, and queer (as well as neuroqueer). They also use the labels relationship anarchy and poly. Find out what that means to Mattia in this episode.We also talk about being taken seriously when you're outside the gender binary, what counts as an apology and what doesn't, assumptions about presentation, the importance of diverse transition stories, performing gender, how advice for different neurotypes can be conflicting, and navigating intersectional marginalised identities. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/mattia

100. Reflections (part 4): discoveries so far

2023/10/26

In this fourth Reflections episode, Katy interviews Esther as she reflects on further conversations she's had with gender-diverse folks, what she's learned about gender, as well as her own journey and how she and the podcast have evolved over three years since the podcast started. We also talk about the decision to take a break, trusting your intuition, intersectionality, internalised misogyny, using inclusive language, questioning everything, opening conversations rather than shutting them down, what allyship can look like, and reclaiming authenticity. More on www.fiftyshadesofgender.com/reflections-4 Registration for our allyship course is now open! Find out more on https://fiftyshadesofgender.com/allyship-course/ and join Esther on this journey of exploration, reflection, and awareness.

Podcast reviews

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4.2 out of 5

15 reviews

★★★★★

Meadowfence 2023/03/15

Hoorah!

I am so glad to see Esther Lemmens has produced and uploaded a new interview! I love this podcast and the curious, kind, inquiry in each interview Le...

★★★★★

SophiaWiseOne 2020/08/13

Open and honest

Such authentic curiosity and sharing!!! Powerful and great show!!

★★☆☆☆

TwixxtedRainbows 2022/02/19

Boring and non-engaging

The subject and the name of this podcast is very interesting and dynamic. That’s where the dynamic energy ends. The host is extremely monotone and non...

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