Advertise on podcast: IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective

"Ask Ben a Question" When should you put your foot down with your teenager? And when should you step back and let him make his own choices? It's a tough question. You want to protect your teen, but you also want him to grow up, make good choices, and take responsibility for his life. Here's the thing: Your teen needs practice making decisions. And sometimes that means letting him make mistakes. But that doesn't mean you should let him do whatever he wants. In this episode of IMPACT: Parenting with Perspective, I'm sharing some simple guidelines to help you decide when to hold a boundary and when to let your teen learn from his own choices. We'll talk about: Why giving your teen freedom while the stakes are low matters.How stepping in too often can keep your teen from learning responsibility.When it's okay to let your teen fail and face the results.How to know when you need to step in and hold a boundary.Why you don't have to get every parenting decision right.There's no perfect way to parent a teenager. What works for one family might not work for another. The goal isn't to control every choice your teen makes. It's to help him learn how to handle freedom while you become more confident in your own parenting decisions. Want help with a tough parenting decision? If you're not sure when to step in or when to back off, let's talk about it. Bring your real-life situation to a free Parent/Teen Game Plan Call, and we'll work through it together. Book your free call: https://benpughcoaching.com/mini Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question" Have you tried everything to help your teen, but nothing seems to work? Maybe you're tired of the fighting, yelling, and constant worry. Maybe you're scared about the choices your teen is making, and you don't know what to do next. That's exactly where Theresa was. In this special IMPACT Interview: Rewind, I'm bringing back the most downloaded episode of IMPACT! Parenting with Perspective. Theresa was a single mom who was terrified her son would end up in jail. He'd been arrested, was selling vapes and weed, and was struggling in school. She'd tried therapy, parenting strategies, and everything she could think of. Nothing seemed to work. She was scared, ashamed, and exhausted. She was constantly yelling, and she felt like she was failing as a mom. But then something started to change. And it wasn't her son. Theresa started changing how she thought about him, how she responded to him, and what she chose to focus on. Instead of trying to control everything her son did, she started focusing on what she could control. And things began to change. The yelling slowed down. Their relationship improved. Her son started making better choices, and he eventually got back on track to graduate from high school. But one of the biggest changes was in Theresa herself. In this episode, you'll hear: What Theresa was most afraid of when she first reached out for help.Why trying harder to control her teen wasn't working.How fear and shame were affecting her parenting.What changed when she started focusing on herself instead of fixing her son.How she went from constant yelling and worry to feeling calmer, more confident, and more connected to her son.Here's what I want you to take away from Theresa's story: You can't control your teen's choices. But you have more power than you think to change how you show up as a parent. And sometimes, that's where the biggest changes begin. If you're feeling stuck, scared, or like you've tried everything, this is a great place to start. WANT HELP WITH YOUR TEEN? If you're tired of fighting with your teen and aren't sure what to do next, let's talk. Book a FREE Gameplan Call with me. We'll look at what's happening in your family, where you're getting stuck, and what you can do differently. No pressure. Just a chance to figure out your next step. https://benpughcoaching.com/mini Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question" Does your teen put off homework until the last minute, then somehow get it all done in a rush? Maybe you're tired of reminding him, checking his grades, and watching him fall further behind. But what if your teen's procrastination isn't all bad? What if there's actually a skill hiding inside it? In this episode of IMPACT! Parenting with Perspective, I'm sharing a simple strategy I call Reverse Procrastination. I recently worked with a teen who was always putting off her schoolwork. She'd wait until the last minute, stress about everything she needed to do, and then rush to get it done. Instead of giving her another planner, more rules, or a lecture about being responsible, we tried something different. And it worked! Within a week, she was caught up in all her classes. School felt easier, and she actually had MORE free time. In this episode, you'll learn: Why your teen might be better at getting things done than you think.The hidden skill inside procrastination that most parents overlook.How Reverse Procrastination can help your teen get things done sooner.Why putting things off often steals the freedom your teen is trying to protect.How to help your teen change his habits without nagging, lecturing, or taking control.Here's the big takeaway: Your teen might not need a whole new system. He might just need to use what already works in a different order. And you can help him discover that without turning homework into another power struggle. Want help with your teen? If homework, missing assignments, or procrastination have become a constant battle in your house, let's talk. Book a FREE Gameplan Call, and we'll look at what's happening with your teen and what you can do differently. https://benpughcoaching.com/mini Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question" What do you do when your teen is struggling, but he doesn’t want help? Maybe he won’t talk to you. Maybe he refuses therapy or coaching. Maybe he doesn’t even think there’s a problem. That can leave you feeling scared, stuck, and desperate to get through to him. But trying harder to fix your teen may not be the best place to start. In this episode, I’ll show you what you can do when your teen refuses help. We’ll talk about the difference between real danger and normal struggle, why parents often make things worse by jumping to the worst-case scenario, and how to stop treating your teen like he is the problem. You’ll also learn how to show more trust, let your teen own more of his struggle, and become a calmer, safer leader in the process. Most of all, you’ll learn why your teen does not have to change first before things can start getting better. If you feel like your teen is shutting you out, making choices you don’t understand, or refusing the help you think he needs, this episode is for you. Want help with your specific situation? Book a free Gameplan Call at benpughcoaching.com/mini. Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question" Your teen probably doesn’t need more rules. And he probably doesn’t need harsher consequences either. What he may need is better leadership. In this episode, I share three simple ideas that changed the way I led as a high school principal and still shape the way I parent and coach today: Model. Connect. Involve. You’ll learn why trying to control your teen can actually make things harder, why connection matters before there’s a problem, and how involving your teen can build more responsibility and trust. We’ll also talk about how to stop trying to fix everything for your teen and start focusing on what you can actually control. If you feel like you’re always reminding, correcting, arguing, or trying to get your teen to do what he should be doing, this episode will give you a simpler place to start. You don’t have to control your teen to lead him. Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question" What do better boundaries with your teen actually look like? A lot of parents think better boundaries mean more rules, bigger consequences, or finally getting their teen to listen. But that’s not the goal. Better boundaries are about getting clear on what belongs to you, what belongs to your teen, and what happens when an agreement isn’t followed. In this episode, I’ll show you what starts to change when boundaries get better. You’ll learn: Why better boundaries are not about controlling your teenHow to stop carrying responsibility that belongs to himWhy your teen can disagree with a boundary and it can still be a good boundaryHow clearer agreements can reduce arguing and confusionWhy giving your teen a voice does not mean giving him controlHow to decide consequences before everyone is upsetHow better boundaries can lead to less nagging, less reacting, and more responsibilityYour teen may still push back. He may still complain. He may still think the boundary is stupid. But that does not mean the boundary failed. The goal is not to control your teen. The goal is to lead with more clarity, stay grounded, and help your teen carry more responsibility for his own choices. If you want help building this in your home, Boundaries with Buy-In is open now. Learn more at benpughcoaching.com/bwb Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question" Does your teen question everything, push back, argue, or seem determined to do things his own way? That strong will can be exhausting. But it might also become one of his greatest strengths. In this episode, Ben shares why your goal isn’t to break your teen’s will. It’s to help him learn how to use it. You’ll learn why strong-willed teens often struggle with traditional control, why compliance isn’t the same as maturity, and how better boundaries can help your teen build responsibility. Ben also shares what coaching football has taught him about stubborn kids, why power struggles can make things worse, and how giving your teen a voice can actually make boundaries easier to hold. If you’re tired of arguing, reminding, threatening, or trying to win every battle, this episode will help you see your teen differently. Your strong-willed teen may not need more control. He may need better leadership, better boundaries, and more chances to take responsibility for his own life. Boundaries with Buy-In opens September 21. Join the priority list at: benpughcoaching.com/boundarieswithbuyin Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question" You know what to do. Stay calm. Don’t take it personally. Get curious. Hold the boundary. But then your teen pushes back, rolls his eyes, ignores you, or says something disrespectful... And suddenly, all those parenting tools seem to disappear. In this episode, Ben explains why knowing what to do with your teen isn’t the same as being able to do it when things get hard. You’ll learn why pressure brings out old habits, why more parenting advice may not be the answer, and how to practice new skills before you need them. Ben also shares a story about breaking his arm twice while pretending to be Superman, plus what coaching freshman football has taught him about parenting under pressure. You’ll learn: Why knowing better doesn’t always mean doing betterWhy parents fall back into old habits during hard momentsHow to practice parenting skills when things are calmWhy repetition matters more than learning one more toolHow coaching can help you see what’s hard to see in the momentIf you ever think, “I know better than this. Why do I keep doing the same thing?” this episode is for you. And if boundaries keep turning into battles in your home, join Ben for his free Boundaries Workshop. Go to: benpughcoaching.com/freeboundariesworkshop Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question" One of the biggest fears parents have about giving their teen more of a voice is this: “What if he thinks he’s in charge?” Maybe you’ve tried to compromise before. You gave him an inch, and he tried to take a mile. So now it feels safer to just make the rule, hold the line, and expect him to obey. But there’s a problem with that. When every boundary becomes about getting your teen to do what you want, you can quickly end up reminding, nagging, threatening, arguing, or giving in. There’s another way. In this episode, I’ll show you how to give your teen a voice without giving away your authority as the parent. You’ll learn: The difference between giving in and getting buy-inWhy listening to your teen doesn’t mean agreeing with himHow to stop treating your teen like the problemWhy curiosity can work better than punishmentHow to create agreements with your teen instead of only for himWhy your teen can disagree with your boundary and you can still hold itI’ll also share two real stories from my own parenting experience. One is about a foster teen who wanted a cell phone so badly that he suggested a consequence that was way too harsh. The other is about finding out my own kids were secretly using Snapchat after I had told them not to. Both stories taught me the same lesson: Your teen doesn’t need the final say. But he does need a voice. And when you stop trying to control everything and start solving problems together, you give your teen a chance to build more responsibility, ownership, and trust. If boundaries in your home keep turning into battles, I’m teaching a free live workshop called: 3 Reasons Your Boundaries Keep Turning Into Battles—and What to Do Instead Register at: benpughcoaching.com/freeboundariesworkshop Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question" If everything feels like a fight with your teen, it can be hard to know where to start. Phones. Video games. Chores. Grades. Bedtime. Disrespect. Responsibility. It can feel like every problem needs a different solution. But what if they don’t? In this episode, I’ll show you why boundaries are one of the best places to start when things feel off with your teen. You’ll learn why trying to control your teen can turn boundaries into power struggles, and how to focus more on what you can actually control. We’ll talk about: Why boundaries are not about forcing your teen to obeyHow to stay calm and firm when your teen pushes backHow to give your teen a voice without putting him in chargeWhy too much control can make it harder for your teen to take responsibilityHow to stop carrying responsibility that belongs to your teenHow to create more peace without waiting for your teen to change firstThe goal is not to control your teen. The goal is to lead well, hold clear boundaries, and help your teen take more responsibility for his own choices. I also share details about my new small group program, Boundaries with Buy-In, for moms of teenage boys. If you want help creating boundaries you can actually hold while building more responsibility, trust, and connection with your teen, join the priority list at: benpughcoaching.com/boundarieswithbuy-in Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question" Have you ever set a simple boundary with your teen… and somehow ended up in a 45-minute argument? The boundary might not be the real problem. In this episode, Ben explains why boundaries often turn into fights, even when the boundary is fair and clear. You’ll learn why too many reminders can make your teen less responsible, why your teen doesn’t have to agree with your boundary, and why giving in to avoid conflict can actually create more conflict later. You’ll also learn how to focus on what you can control, stop taking responsibility for your teen’s choices, and hold boundaries with more calm and confidence. If you’re tired of arguing, reminding, threatening, or feeling like every boundary turns into a battle, this episode is for you. Want help setting boundaries that give your teen a voice without giving away your authority? Join the priority list for Boundaries with Buy-In at: benpughcoaching.com/boundarieswithbuyin Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question" Back-to-school season can make parents feel like they need to manage everything. Grades. Homework. Bedtime. Phones. Missing assignments. Attitude. But what if some of the rules parents follow are actually making things harder? In this episode, I share 3 back-to-school rules I think parents of teens should break. You’ll learn why school may not need to be the most important thing, why your teen’s grades are not your responsibility, and why your teen might not be the one who needs the biggest reset this year. If you’re tired of nagging, reminding, worrying, and feeling responsible for everything your teen does, this episode will help you see back-to-school in a different way. Because your job isn’t to control your teen’s school year. Your job is to decide how you want to show up for it.Back-to-school season can make parents feel like they need to manage everything. Grades. Homework. Bedtime. Phones. Missing assignments. Attitude. But what if some of the rules parents follow are actually making things harder? In this episode, I share 3 back-to-school rules I think parents of teens should break. You’ll learn why school may not need to be the most important thing, why your teen’s grades are not your responsibility, and why your teen might not be the one who needs the biggest reset this year. If you’re tired of nagging, reminding, worrying, and feeling responsible for everything your teen does, this episode will help you see back-to-school in a different way. Because your job isn’t to control your teen’s school year. Your job is to decide how you want to show up for it. Ready to reset the boundaries in your home? Join the founding group for Boundaries with Buy-In and learn how to create clearer boundaries, get more buy-in, and hold them without losing your cool. Learn more: benpughcoaching.com/boundarieswithbuyin Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question" Worrying about your teen may feel like part of being a good parent. But worry doesn’t protect your teen. It doesn’t predict the future. And it rarely helps you prepare. Instead, it can make you practice the future you’re most afraid of. In this episode, Ben shares how he spent three days worrying about a hard conversation. He lost sleep, felt sick, and imagined everything that could go wrong. Then the conversation happened—and it was fine. Parents often do the same thing. Your teen misses an assignment, and your mind jumps to him failing school. He spends too much time playing video games, and you worry he’ll never become responsible. Those thoughts change how you show up. You may remind more, lecture longer, react faster, or try harder to control your teen. In this episode, you’ll learn: • Why worry isn’t the same as love • How fear changes the way you parent • Why you don’t need to suffer before something happens • How to care deeply without expecting the worst • How to practice hope, trust, and confidence instead You can’t control everything that happens in your teen’s future. But you can choose which version of yourself you practice becoming today. Take the free Parent Trap Quiz at benpughcoaching.com/quiz. Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question" Have you ever felt like you're trying so hard to connect with your teen... but nothing seems to work? In this episode, I sit down with a former coaching client who shares how one small shift changed her relationship with her teenage son. She talks honestly about the frustration, the fear of getting it wrong, and the moment she realized she didn't need to change her son. She needed to change how she showed up as his mom. In this conversation, you'll learn: • Why trying harder can actually make things harder  • How to stay connected during difficult conversations  • Why your expectations may be getting in the way  • A simple mindset shift that helps you parent with more confidence  • How showing up with love and consistency changes your relationship over time If you're raising a teenage boy and wondering if things can get better, this episode will give you hope—and a practical place to start. Take the free Parent Trap Quiz at benpughcoaching.com/quiz and discover the parenting trap that may be keeping you stuck. Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz

"Ask Ben a Question" What if your teen still wants to connect with you, just not in the way you expect? A lot of parents think, “My teen wants nothing to do with me.” He stays in his room. He gives one-word answers. He wears headphones. He plays video games. He acts annoyed when you ask about his day. But maybe your teen is not rejecting you. Maybe he just does not want connection to feel like a lecture, a test, or a trap. In this episode, I talk about one mistake many parents make without realizing it. They wait for the “better version” of their teen to show up before they try to connect. The cleaner version. The more respectful version. The more motivated version. The version who gets off video games the first time. The version who tells you everything. But connection cannot only be available to the improved version of your teen. You can connect with the teen you have right now and still hold boundaries. You can show interest in what he enjoys and still have expectations. You can care about his world without giving up your authority. In this episode, you’ll learn why your teen may pull away, how to connect without becoming a doormat, and one simple question to ask yourself when you feel frustrated with him. If you’ve been waiting for your teen to change before you enjoy him again, this episode will help you start right where he is. Are You Caught in the Parent Trap? Discover the hidden patterns that are keeping you stuck—and how to break free. Take this quick (and eye-opening) quiz to uncover which common parenting trap you’re falling into with your teen.  Get a personalized roadmap to help you parent with more clarity, confidence, and connection—starting today. https://benpughcoaching.com/parent-trap-quiz