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Old and surly curmudgeon Mr. Killup is home alone on his most hated night of the year, Halloween. His job is simple: hand out candy to trick or treaters while his caretaker son Michael works the night shift, but even this proves to be too much for this Halloween-hater and takes his disdain out on the kids. Little does he know, his treatment of the trick-or-treaters gets the attention of something mysterious, and it's not happy at all with his unfestive attitude.    Join Velina and Zach on one of the most Halloween-flavored episodes of the series and one of the most quintessential “Tales of the Darkside” episodes in the series. So grab a bucket of Goblin-Candy, because this episode proves why tricks come first when trick-or-treating. Host = Zach Zachariary Host = Velina Velenghiskhan Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio Ending clip: Summerween Gravity Falls Contact us: [email protected]

Fiancees Linda and Doug just acquired a massive 4-story home and are knee-deep in renovations, there’s just one glaring problem: The tenant, a benevolent voodoo witch doctor Mars Gillis, refuses to leave his home on the Parlor Floor Front, and renter’s laws prevent them from booting him out. Will the couple be able to illegally evict the paying tenant and claim the whole home for themselves or will there be a much higher cost to their actions than they first thought? Join Velina and Zach in an episode so unexpectedly good, they question why they ever forgot it as they dive into the subject of gentrification and the real people it harms. So grab your gold jewelry and a suitcase full of underwear, cause rent’s due and the spirits don’t take cash.Host = Zach Zachariary Host = Velina Velenghiskhan Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio Ending clip: Princess and the Frog Contact us: [email protected]

Death row inmate Billy Malone is nearing the end of his wait for his turn on the electric chair, recounting to the reporter the events that led him to his current predicament. It all started with an earthquake that caused a volcano to appear in his basement and a metal ring inside it that had the power to lead to different worlds, when ultimately it spits out a """Ditzy""" woman who can’t communicate with him. Will this creep get the child in a woman’s body and find his freedom when all hope seems lost, or will he take a spin on the ultimate time-out chair? Join Velina and Zach on one of our most hated episodes of the series as we dive into not only the episode’s god-awful attempt at the noir genre, but also its usage of one of the most deplorable tropes that we are unfortunate enough to know about: Born Sexy Yesterday as our minds unravel trying to piece the plot together since the writers didn't care to. So grab your final meal and say a prayer, because this episode makes us wish we were the ones fried on the chair. Host = Zach Zachariary Host = Velina Velenghiskhan Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio Ending clip: FBI Open Up! clip Contact us: [email protected]

Filthy rich CEO Ben Martin has a bit of a problem: his near constant anger and stress is killing him, but that’s a problem a mysterious salesman comes to fix. A miraculous medical device, the Lifebomb, is designed to keep its wearer alive, no matter how severe of a medical emergency they have. Will Mr. Martin be able to delay the inevitable, denying death its claim over him, or perhaps there is a worse fate than death? Join Velina and Zach as they dive into the vile Darkside of real life: medical insurance! Delight in the poignant and sadly still topical subject matter that this episode digs into. So grab some antacids and a glass of milk (or Mylanta?), getting a life assurance policy has never been easier! Host = Zach Zachariary Host = Velina Velenghiskhan Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio Ending clip: Dr. Bertruger There is no death for you-Doom 3 Contact us: [email protected]

 Local Impressionist Spiffy Remo runs a comedy(?) routine impersonating celebrities so well, it gets the attention of less-than-savory government figures who need him for a once-in-a-lifetime arrangement. The Mission? Communicate with a captive alien and get it to reveal the secrets to nuclear fusion, but time is ticking away as the atmosphere is slowly killing the otherworldly visitor. Will the mystery of limitless power die with the alien, or will Spiffy Remo pull off his most challenging impression yet? Join Velina and Zach for what can only be described as the Tales from the Darkside episode of all time. So take a seat behind the one-way mirror, this one is certainly A way to kick off Season 2 of the show... Host = Zach Zachariary Host = Velina Velenghiskhan Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio Ending clip: Independence Day (1996) Contact us: [email protected]

Cassie is a superstitious woman who never makes a decision without consulting a fortune-telling machine. While she is on a quest for her sagittarius, she stops at a bus stop diner and discovers another fortune telling machine, Horace X. However, Horace X warns her that she should not continue her path and warns her of a false prophet. What is she to do? Will she listen to the cult leader who gets way too handsy? Or will she listen to the fortune-telling machine who also gets way too handsy? Velina and Zach will be your guides to this exciting and uncomfortable season finale of Tales from the Darkside. Join us as we delve into what makes this old, dusty bus stop feel like the future site of a crime scene and how this episode is way better than you might initially think. So grab your lucky rabbit’s foot and consult your local soothsayer, because this one gets wild in all sorts of unfortunate ways. Host = Zachariah Zachariah Host = Velina Velenghiskhan Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio Ending clip: House of Whacks, Treehouse of Horror XII, The Simpsons Contact us: [email protected]

Grandma is old. So when she causes an accident at the dinner table with her obnoxious family, the first thing the family thinks to do is ship her off to a retirement home. Before she goes, however, the family wants to make the next week good for her so they decide to throw her a party at which she makes a wish. Will she end up being carted away to the old folks home or will her wish play into her fate? Join Velina and Zach as they try to survive this episode’s constant barrage of yelling and weird familial relationships, all topped off with an oddly cruel twist like contact solution with a lemon squeeze. So grab some prune juice and a ricola, because this one gets loud constantly and we are both suffering immensely. Somebody help us. Host = Zach Zachariary Host = Velina Velenghiskhan Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio Ending clip: 20,000 Patties Under The Sea-Spongebob Squarepants Contact us: [email protected]

Bigelow wakes on any normal day and goes through his normal routine: Drink some coffee and light up a cigarette. Except, he discovers that he is living in a recreation of his house and the windows and doors are all barred shut. Then a man appears on the television screen and tells Bigalow that he signed up for an addiction curing program and this is all a part of it. The man on the screen tells him that he must give up smoking or face the consequences. Bigelow then learns the hard way what kind of punishments the program has in store for him. The real question is which will break first: the cigarette addiction or Bigelow? Join Velina and Zach on this journey of self-help as they watch a man be broken piece by piece all in the name of stopping his addiction to smoking. So grab some coffee and a nicotine patch, this one is a bumpy ride on the straight-and-narrow. Host = Zach Zachariary Host = Velina Velenghiskhan Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio Ending clip: Keeping Up With Our Joneses-King of the Hill Contact us: [email protected]

Cruel businessman Carl is referred to a dry cleaner that can wash away sins. The dry cleaner Chow Ting gives him a list of strict rules that he cannot break if he wants his service. When Carl agrees, he starts to ramp up his cutthroat tactics for his corporation and his dirty laundry. However, Chow Ting is starting to ghost him and stops picking up his laundry. Will Carl be able to get his guilt washed away or Is there something more valuable than money that Chow Ting wants? Join Velina and Zach in their high rise corporate headquarters as they discuss the mediocrity of the episode and the absolute perfection that is James Hong. So grab your laundry basket and a budgie, because this episode is quite a fun one. Exclusively because of James Hong. Host = Zach Zachariary Host = Velina Velenghiskhan Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio Ending clip: It All Comes Out In The Wash-Miranda Lambert Contact us: [email protected]

When Frank and his friend Ernie arrive at the dumpy carnival they took a 75 mile road trip to get to, he finally gets to see the great Karma, a magician he admired for his wireless levitation trick. However, when he sees that the magician doesn’t end up doing his famous trick, Frank throws a fit to get what he wants. Will he get the magician to perform his once-famous trick or will this situation get slightly out of hand? Join Velina and Zach for the first of the final 5 episodes of the season under a cheapo big top as they watch a has-been magician perform while a man-child fan tries to ruin it until he gets what he wants. So grab some funnel cake and front-row seating, this is a trick you won’t want to miss! Host = Zach Zachariary Host = Velina Velenghiskhan Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio Ending clip: Levitation-Amorphis Contact us: [email protected]

When gubernatorial candidate Bo Gumbs pays a visit to a small town for his campaign, he gives a speech to the bellhop about how politics is nothing but a big show, a game of entertainment for entertainment’s sake. Strangely, Bo begins to notice some funny things happening to him. He gets a clown suit from the cleaners instead of his normal suit, he hears a street organ outside his room, and other circus-related nonsense starts to happen. Is Bo Gumbs hitting the bottle a little too hard, or has his career of pretending to be a clown finally caught up with him? Join Velina and Zach at the podium as we debate the subject of the episode and whether or not it is trying to make a statement. So grab your ballot and a squirting flower, because this is a funny episode in all senses of the word! Host = Zach Zachariary Host = Velina Velenghiskhan Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio Ending clip: Afraid of Clowns-The Haunting Hour Contact us: [email protected]

When a young woman and her elderly husband invite their mutual friend over for some unnamed business, they decide to whip out the ol’ Ouijia board to have a chat with the resident ghost. The ghost points them to a mysterious, sealed-away room in their house that was the place that drove whoever resided there to insanity. What will they find once they enter the madness room? Is it just a story, or does this story have more truth to it than they could have ever anticipated? Join Velina and Zach as they hang out in a hidden murder room and contact the spirits of the beyond to verbally eviscerate the plot holes in this episode. So grab your spirit board and a butthole lamp because this episode may drive you to MADNESS! Host = Zach Zachariary Host = Velina Velenghiskhan Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio Ending clip: Clue Contact us: [email protected]

Prudence has the relentless tendency to cry at even the slightest provocation, but when she meets a mysterious, good-looking stranger who seeks to pay her to collect her tears, she decides to go for it. She soon realizes that she is not only giving him her tears, she may also be giving him her heart. Will she fall for the mysterious tear collector, or is there something more to this man than meets the (misty) eye? Join Velina and Zach in kicking up the waterworks as they discuss why this episode feels so tonally different and nonsensical in comparison to the rest of the series and why they have such a weird soft-spot for it and it’s soap-opera level melodrama. So grab some tissues and a swan bottle, because this is an unforgettable episode. Especially for a horror anthology show. Host = Zach Zachariary Host = Velina Velenghiskhan Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio Songs used: (Daytime Drama-Spongebob production music) (A Broken Smile-General Hospital ost) (Poetic Justice-Gavin Greenaway) Ending clip: Cry Baby-A Christmas Story Contact us: [email protected]

When an English actress is trying to get some sleep before her commercial shoot the next morning, she is kept up by the sound of a phone relentlessly ringing in the apartment next door. However, she soon discovers that the apartment next door has been vacant for the last few months. So who was receiving the calls, and more alarmingly, who was slamming into the walls in the room next door? Join Velina and Zach as they make an example out of this episode as what not to do for an episode of television as Zach slowly transforms into a cyborg. You’ve mostly likely heard the saying “Show, don’t tell.” Here’s “Tell, don’t show.” So grab your book of monologues and some earplugs, because this episode is a unique one in terms of bizarre problems of writing.

When a Satan-worshipping school teacher uses the dark arts to win the lottery, he mouths off to his supervisor and quits his job in anticipation of the victory. When he discovers that not only did he lose the lottery by one number, some random hair stylist won in his place, he decides to break into her business and steal it from her. However, things get tricky once she discovers him and even more so when he discovers her dark secret. A secret that proves that he might have bitten off far more than he could chew. Try your luck with Velina and Zach in talking about a cheesy, but lovable episode that they have quite a soft spot for. So grab a seven-pointed star and some lottery scratchers, because this episode is one Hell of a ride! Host = Zach Zachariary Host = Velina Velenghiskhan Intro/Outro Song = Grave Encounters-White Bat Audio Ending clip: Snip Snip-The Tiger Lilies Contact us: [email protected]