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In this episode of No Visible Bruises, I’m exploring something that’s gone viral recently, Mel Robbins’ “Let Them” theory and whether it actually supports or harms survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, and coercive control.On the surface, the “Let Them” approach sounds freeing. Let them ignore you. Let them walk away. Let them show you who they are. But when you’re a survivor, especially someone recovering from relational trauma, “letting them” isn’t always simple. It can activate shame, abandonment wounds, or even put you back in harm’s way.So today, I’m unpacking this idea through a trauma informed lens, asking: • Can “Let Them” truly empower survivors? • Or does it risk invalidating your trauma responses? • What happens when “Letting Them” feels like fawning or freezing, not freedom? I also weave in Internal Family Systems (IFS), one of the key therapeutic approaches I use to show how different parts inside of us might respond to “Let Them” in wildly different ways. One part might crave detachment. Another might panic at the thought of being dismissed.I’m reflecting on: • Why some self-help theories, while well-meaning, need adaptation for trauma survivors • How IFS helps us make sense of conflicting inner responses • What “Let Them” looks like from a somatic and parts-based perspective • And how we can take what works from the theory while still honouring our healing processIf you’re trying to unhook from a narcissist or toxic family system, this episode is for you. It’s raw, reflective, and designed to help you feel seen, not shamed.Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control: https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises. Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

Before we dive in, I’m thrilled to invite you to a free live masterclass I’m hosting, “Pain to Purpose: Building a Trauma Informed Business for Survivors of Narcissistic & Domestic Abuse.” on Sunday, the 29th of June. I’ll pop the link below and if you can join me live, fantastic. But even if you can’t, still register and I’ll send you the recording. If you’re reading this after the date of the 29th, still click on the link and I’ll send the recording over. Alone I can do so little, but collectively we can really facilitate a change in the world around narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control. And if you feel like your experiences must lead to somewhere, this master class could be for you. And of course, if not, ignore all of this. https://carolinestrawson.com/purpose-masterclass?ref=podcast In today’s episode, I’m talking about the physiology of gaslighting because most conversations about gaslighting focus on psychology, thoughts, beliefs, and mental manipulation. Today we flip that lens and explore the physiology: the tangible, bodily sensations that whisper, “Something isn’t right,” long before your conscious mind can name it.I’ll explain what gaslighting is, why? I never even knew what it was when I was in my relationship with my ex-husband and how it is a tool that abuses use to manipulate and control you. So if you’ve ever thought you were crazy in conversations with your partners, Ex partners or parents And never understood why, this episode is a must listen to. This form of psychological abuse is hidden and unseen and because there are no visible bruises, many of us don’t even realise it’s a form of abuse.Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control: https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises. Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

In this episode, we shine a light on one of the most misunderstood forms of narcissistic abuse……..the covert narcissist.Unlike the loud, arrogant narcissist that many imagine, the covert narcissist operates in far more subtle and insidious ways. They may seem shy, quiet, or even vulnerable to the outside world but behind closed doors, the manipulation runs deep.In this episode, I explore:• What makes covert narcissistic abuse so hard to identify• Why survivors often doubt themselves and struggle to explain what’s happening• How covert narcissists use guilt, shame, victimhood, and passive aggression to control• The impact this has on your nervous system, your confidence, and your sense of self• The signs to look for if you think you’re dealing with oneWhether you're beginning to question your relationship or you've already escaped and are rebuilding, this episode will give you the clarity and validation you need.Understanding covert narcissism is a crucial step in healing because once you can name it, you can begin to untangle from it. Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control: https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises. Disclaimer:The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

In this eye-opening episode, I’m joined by Gina Blundell, a powerful voice and survivor of narcissistic and financial abuse. Together, we unpack the many layers and nuances of financial abuse, a form of control that often goes unseen, but leaves devastating scars.Gina bravely shares her own personal story of how financial control was used as a weapon, not just through the obvious withholding of money, but through subtle, manipulative tactics that stripped away autonomy, freedom, and safety.In our conversation, we explore:• The covert ways financial abuse shows up in narcissistic relationships• How money is used to isolate, punish, and control• Why financial abuse is so often misunderstood and even by professionals• The long-term impact on a survivor’s ability to rebuild security and trust• How Gina began reclaiming her financial and emotional independenceWhether you’ve experienced financial abuse yourself, or you work with survivors, this episode will deepen your understanding of the intersection between narcissistic control and economic disempowerment.Gina’s story is raw, real, and a reminder that healing is possible even after profound betrayal. If you wantt to get in touch with Gina, join her Facebook group www.facebook.com/groups/empoweringwomenthroughdivorce/ Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control: https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises. Disclaimer:The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

In this powerful and personal episode, I share my own survivor story as a woman who lived through the devastation of covert narcissistic abuse.I open up about the day my life completely changed when my covert narcissistic ex walked out, leaving me with two children, over £70,000 of debt, and a nervous system in collapse. I spiralled into depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and eventually complex PTSD. I lost my home, my confidence, and for a long time, my sense of self.This episode is for anyone who’s ever questioned their reality. Anyone who has been told it wasn’t abuse because there were no visible bruises snd anyone who has felt silenced, unseen, and deeply alone.You’ll hear about:• The subtle manipulations of a covert narcissist and how they break you down over time• The impact of emotional abuse on your identity, nervous system, and financial wellbeing• How post-separation abuse can be even more destructive than the relationship itself• The turning point in my healing and how I slowly rebuilt from the ground upThis isn’t just a story of survival, it’s a story of reclaiming power.Whether you’re still in the thick of it or working through the long tail of trauma, I hope this episode gives you the courage to believe that healing is not only possible, it’s inevitable with the right support. Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control: https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises. Disclaimer:The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

Narcissistic Abuse, Food Noise & Metabolic Disorder In this episode, I’m joined by Nikki Antonaccio, who shares how surviving narcissistic abuse as a child shaped everything from her relationship with food to her metabolism and how that trauma rewired her behaviour in ways that didn’t make sense until much later.We talk about how trauma from narcissistic abuse doesn’t just live in the mind, it lodges itself in the body, in the nervous system, in metabolism. For Nikki, it showed up as people-pleasing, chronic stress, disordered eating and shutdown and it’s not a lack of willpower. It’s survival.As Nikki shares her personal story, and how this led her to become the UK’s leaving Trauma Informed Nutritionist and I reflect on how she helped me see my own eating patterns in a different light. I wasn’t just making poor choices, my metabolism was shaped by what I’d lived through.We talk about everything, trauma, food, shame, nervous system, survival, the future of metabolic healing and why healing and losing weight after narcissistic abuse is so much deeper than calories in vs. calories out.Explore Nikki’s work here: https://nikkiantonaccioonlinecoachingltd.dropfunnelsme.com/bvy-new24/bvy-new24 Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control: https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises Disclaimer:The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available

This is not the kind of story that wraps up neatly with a bow. Rebecca Fraser’s story is raw, messy, and unfinished because healing after deep betrayal, family fracture, and years of abusive relationships with narcissists is never clean or simple. It’s the kind of survival story that digs into the parts most people don’t want to talk about, the shame, the loneliness, the repeated heartbreak, and the unbearable weight of carrying trauma in your body for years.In this episode, Rebecca shares her lived experience of growing up in a home torn apart by infidelity and addiction, being cast as the “problem child,” shuffled into foster care as a teenager, and entering a series of romantic relationships that only deepened her wounds. Alongside this emotional pain, she has been fighting a long battle with Lyme disease, a battle she believes was intensified by the unrelenting stress and trauma she endured.We explore the nervous system scars left by betrayal trauma, the painful roles children are assigned within dysfunctional families, and the long-term impact of being repeatedly gaslit, invalidated, and silenced not just by partners, but by family and community. Rebecca speaks openly about the heartbreak of losing friendships, the feeling of being “too much” for others, and the internal struggle of not trusting herself to choose safe people anymore. Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control:https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises. Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

In today’s episode, I sit down with Radka Crossley, an incredibly courageous woman whose story will stay with you long after the episode ends. Radka spent 18 years in an abusive marriage to a narcissist, but the roots of her pain began long before that. Raised by an alcoholic mother and an emotionally unavailable father, her nervous system was wired for survival from a very young age.Together, we explore how her early childhood environment shaped the parts of her that tolerated abuse, ignored red flags, and questioned her own worth. This episode is a powerful exploration of inner child wounding, attachment trauma, and how patterns of neglect and addiction in our upbringing can set the stage for toxic, coercive relationships later in life.Radka’s story is heartbreaking, raw, and full of insight but it’s also a story of resilience. You’ll hear how she began to slowly find her way back to herself, reclaiming her voice, and starting to understand that none of it was ever her fault.This one is especially for you if you’ve ever wondered,Why did I stay so long?Why do I keep attracting unavailable people?Why does this feel so familiar, even when it hurts?Radka’s story lifts the lid on the shame so many survivors carry and together, we bring compassion to the parts of her still holding the pain. This conversation will help you feel less alone and more seen in your own healing journey.Don’t ever be alone in your healing.Come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises, where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse, and coercive control: https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises Disclaimer:The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

In today’s episode, I interview Mandy Metters, a recovered cocaine addict. You’ll hear her story of resilience, strength and shame that because of her abuse, she turned to drugs to numb out the pain of feeling worthless. She grew up with a narcissistic, alcoholic father and was diagnosed with bi polar. Or was this all because of trauma? Mandy’s courage and resilience shine through alongside the pain of the shame. You will see us examine those shame parts of her and the emotions still trapped in her body due to the trauma of experiencing narcissistic abuse. This one is definitely for you if you took a substance to numb out your pain and we lift that shame and celebrate the beauty of a nervous system trying to protect you.  Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control: https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises. Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

In our 2nd episode of my rebranded podcast, No Visible Bruises sharing real survivor stories of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control, I sit down with Sandra Dec. I knew this would be a raw yet familiar conversation about narcissistic abuse. But very quickly, her story unfolded into something far more complex, a web of betrayal, cheating, hidden pasts, and shocking truths that could rival any Netflix drama. What began as love was built on lies- bigamy, secret families, manipulation, and the slow erosion of self-worth. But Sandra’s story is not just about what happened to her. It’s about how she survived… and how she healed. In this episode, we explore how trauma lives in the body and how reconnecting with physical awareness and grounding practices can help you heal. We unpack the patterns of deception and narcissistic abuse that creep in over time, often rooted in childhood wounds and shaped by familiar dynamics from narcissistic parenting. We talk about emotional and financial abuse, the invisible kind, the slow self-sacrifice, the erosion of identity, the subtle control that doesn’t leave bruises. We go deep into the confusing experience of reactive abuse and self-blame, where victims are left doubting themselves more than their abuser. And we explore why leaving isn’t as simple as walking away and how survival responses, fear, physiology, and a longing for love can keep people stuck in places they know are breaking them. But this is also a story of rising. Of breaking generational cycles. Of embracing the shadow self and finding safety in truth, self-love, and the courage to reclaim identity. This episode is for anyone who has ever doubted their reality. Who’s ever stayed too long. Who has ever been cheated on. Who’s learning to trust themselves again. Sandra’s story will stay with you, not just because of the twists and turns, but because of her strength, her honesty, and the light she now shines for others. So take a deep breath, and press play. This one is powerful. Don’t ever be alone in your journey and make sure you come and join my private Facebook community, No Visible Bruises where you can connect with other survivors of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises . Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

Today marks the launch of our rebranded podcast, No Visible Bruises sharing real survivor stories of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse and coercive control, and the long-lasting physiological impact of trauma not just the psychological. In our very first episode, we sit down with Kirstie Haysman, who bravely shares her experience of narcissistic abuse and how it intertwines with her diagnosis of rheumatoid arthritis. This conversation is one not to miss. We explore: • How chronic conditions like arthritis, fibromyalgia, IBS and others can be linked to the trauma of relational abuse • What happens in the body when we are exposed to long-term stress and emotional abuse • How healing is possible when we understand the connection between the nervous system and our physical health • The importance of working with the body, not against it If you’ve ever wondered whether your chronic symptoms could be connected to your past and present experiences of narcissistic abuse, domestic abuse & coercive control… If you’ve ever felt unseen in your pain… If you’ve ever questioned the invisible impact of emotional abuse… This episode is for you. Listen now, share with someone who needs it, and join us in shining a light on what’s been hidden for far too long. Do not suffer alone and come and join my private FREE Facebook group - No Visible Bruises- Narcissistic Abuse, Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises. Disclaimer: The views and opinions shared in this podcast are those of the individuals involved and are intended for informational and educational purposes only. They do not substitute professional or medical advice. If you’ve been affected by anything discussed in today’s episode, please consider reaching out to a qualified healthcare provider or mental health professional for support. You’re not alone, and help is always available.

Can you imagine the hidden wounds left by a narcissist's mind games? My journey shows how abuse hurts more than just the heart. As a survivor of narcissistic abuse you often feel stuck, thinking your pain defines you, but real strength comes from understanding how trauma lives in the body.  By learning new ways to heal, like body-based therapy and nervous system support, people can rebuild their lives. The path from hurt to healing isn't quick, but it's about taking small, kind steps forward. Each victory whether earning your own money, finding a new career, or feeling stronger inside proves how tough you can be.  As a survivor you aren't trapped by what happened to you, but powered by your courage to create a new story and turn deep pain into real hope and growth. 0:00 Final Week of Trauma and Narcissism Redefined Podcast 2:41 Introduction to the New Facebook Community 5:39 Personal Story and Struggles 12:04 Journey to Financial Independence 14:42 Final Thoughts and Future Plans Podcast Resources: Join my new community: No Visible Bruises - Survivor Stories of Narcissistic Abuse, Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control https://www.facebook.com/groups/novisiblebruises Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Do you know the invisible weight of transactional love? As someone who has walked through the emotional minefield, I understand how every interaction becomes a calculated performance.  The narcissist conditions you to believe your worth is transactional and you constantly have to prove your value through endless giving, pleasing, and sacrificing. Your authentic self disappears and is replaced by a version carefully crafted to avoid criticism and earn microscopic fragments of affection. Each day becomes an exhausting dance of walking on eggshells, anticipating their next emotional manipulation. The trauma leaves invisible scars, making you question your own reality, your own memories. But healing is possible.  Recognising that your worth isn't determined by their validation is the first powerful step towards reclaiming your identity. You are valuable simply by existing, not by how perfectly you serve someone else's toxic narrative. Your survival is your strength.   0:00 Intro   2:13 The Future of the Podcast   3:37 Transactional Love and Personal Experiences   9:01 Impact of Transactional Love on Children   12:30 Challenges and Solutions for Parents and Survivors   15:12 Conclusion   Podcast Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Have you ever stopped to ask yourself, are they really a narcissist? The complexities of narcissistic relationships can be overwhelming, leaving you questioning your own sanity. However, it's crucial to understand that the word "narcissist" is merely a label, not a definition of your worth. The spectrum of narcissism is vast, with varying behaviors and traits that can make it challenging to pinpoint. Remember, no true narcissist would ever question their own narcissistic tendencies. If you find yourself pondering this, it's a sign that you're not the problem. Instead, focus on your healing journey, as the path to recovery is not an easy one. Seek support, explore your emotions, and reclaim your voice. Your well-being is paramount, and with the right guidance, you can break free from the cycle of narcissistic abuse. 0:00 Introduction and Podcast Rebrand   1:14 Upcoming Episodes and Guest Interviews   2:48 Identifying Narcissists and the Narcissism Spectrum   4:44 Impact of Narcissistic Relationships on Victims   7:41 Physiological and Emotional Effects of Narcissistic Abuse   11:36 The Abuse Cycle and Trauma Bond   13:09 Conclusion and Final Thoughts Quiz link https://m.me/carolinestrawson?ref=podcast Podcast Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/

Are you tired of feeling powerless against narcissist abuse? I know the unseen scars left by narcissists can feel devastating, but you can change the narrative. This year I will be launching a new podcast filled with real interviews and conversations with survivors like you, to give you an unmatched insight into the physical and psychological impacts of narcissistic abuse.  I will be sharing my tools to help you heal from narcissistic abuse such as somatic therapy, understanding your internal family systems, and more. This roadmap can help you reclaim your power and heal at the deepest level. No longer will you feel alone in your struggle. You'll be inspired, empowered, and armed with the truth about narcissistic abuse that has been hidden for far too long.  Don't miss this transformative opportunity, your journey to recovery starts now. Sign up as a guest on the show here - https://form.jotform.com/caroline1973/podcast-guest-application 0:00 Rebranding Announcement and Podcast Vision   3:10 How to Become a Guest on my Show  5:11 Therapeutic Approaches and Healing Methods   6:05 Educational and Workshop Initiatives   8:37 Ownership and Responsibility in Healing   14:26 The Role of the Protector and Core Emotional Wounds   17:12 The Importance of Nervous System Healing   19:40 Final thoughts   Podcast Resources: Join my FREE Facebook group at https://www.facebook.com/groups/thriveafternarcissisticabuse Access my low cost Narcissistic Trauma Recovery Programme https://go.carolinestrawson.com/heal-the-trauma-of-narcissistic-abuse Connect with me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/carolinestrawson/ Find me on TikTok!: https://www.tiktok.com/@carolinestrawson My website: https://www.carolinestrawson.com/