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Many Christians hold misunderstandings about scriptural truths that result in making unhealthy choices in their relationships, especially the dysfunctional ones. Because they care about obeying God, they are looking for verses to apply and are often black and white in the way they apply them. They also tend to apply a few verses rather than take the whole Bible into consideration.  One of those is 1 Corinthians 13:5 where the verse says that love doesn't keep a record of wrongs. If this is interpreted in the typical way, it says that you should not pay attention to how many times someone does something to hurt you. That could be especially problematic in a dysfunctional relationship.  It's important to correct misunderstandings about scriptural truths to do what is right for you and to not allow others to continue to sin.  Watch this video to find out if according to 1 Corinthians 13:5, can love keep a record of wrongs?  Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. #1corinthians13 #keeprecordofwrongs #love #Christianrelationshipadvice #dysfunctionalrelationships   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/0z85yzf-epo

Are you a Christian navigating your personal faith crisis when nothing you believed works? Are you walking through the dark night of the soul, where God is distant, faith is weak, expectations are unmet, and emotions are dark? Does life seem meaningless, and are you questioning everything you previously believed? There are typically six stages, which are explained in this video, along with how and why Christians in difficult relationships go through this experience. Karla also shares her own personal dark night of the soul. Understanding the dark night of the soul helps you recognize what you are going through. Knowing that you are not the only one makes it easier to be compassionate with yourself. Hanging on to the belief that you will get through it and eventually have stronger faith gives you hope. Watch this video on navigating the dark night of the soul when God is distant, your faith is weak, and expectations are unmet. It will bring you comfort and ease your journey through this personal faith crisis when nothing you believed works. #darknightofthesoul #disappointmentwithGod #faithjourney #faithcrisis   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/7hF8bIWWPFY

Difficult people play games. They do all kinds of things to get their way and to control what you do. You can respond in a way that helps you to stand up for yourself and not being controlled. Learn what that is. #DifficultPeople #ToxicRelationships #Gaslighting #RelationshipAdvice #Boundaries #ChristianRelationships #ChangeMyRelationship Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/apUs4teoAZA

Manipulators, abusers, and narcissists all use tactics of fear, obligation, and guilt. Fear causes you to give in to avoid the threat. Obligation causes you to give in because you are supposed to. And guilt makes you give in because you feel you're wrong if you don't.  These make up the acronym "FOG" because they cause confusion, making it difficult to see what is being done to you. They also make you feel invalidated, which in turn makes you question yourself. The three of these are impossible to fight against when you are confused and invalidated.  When dealing with FOG--fear, obligation, and guilt--triggered by manipulators, abusers, and narcissists, you need a strategy. Watch this video to equip yourself with one that will help you stand up to their tactics.    #dealingwithtoxicpeople #dealingwithnarcissists #abuser #manipulators #fearobligationguilt #christianrelationshipadvice   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/8A_MHax-0SI

Ever feel completely drained after talking to someone who always sees the glass as half-empty? Whether it’s a spouse who counters every conversation with something negative, a perpetually pessimistic friend, or someone struggling with clinical depression, living or working around constant negativity can take a major toll on your well-being. In this episode of Change My Relationship, licensed marriage and family therapist and author Karla Downing shares practical, faith-based solutions to help you navigate negative people without taking on their heavy mood: Understanding the "Why": Discover the difference between a naturally pessimistic personality trait and clinical depression. Setting Healthy Boundaries: Learn how to limit exposure in non-essential relationships and take much-needed breaks. The "10-Minute Venting" Rule: A simple structure to let others air their grievances without derailing the rest of your time together. Communication Strategies: Why overcompensating with extreme positivity backfires—and how staying grounded in objective facts works better. Speaking Truth in Love: How to gently confront chronic "victim mentality" and encourage constructive action. Biblical Wisdom: Reflections on Proverbs 22:24–25 and Philippians 4:5–8 to protect your emotional and spiritual peace. Whether you are trying to manage a difficult dynamic or looking to refine how you communicate your own struggles, this episode offers grounded emotional guidance rooted in biblical truths. Subscribe & Connect: If this message helped you, please subscribe and share it with a friend! We’d love to hear your feedback or ideas for future topics. Email Karla: [email protected] Website: changemyrelationship.com for books, bible studies, devotionals, and videos. Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video: https://youtu.be/5lqN3EDvfVY #ChangeMyRelationship #KarlaDowning #ChristianCounseling #DealingWithNegativePeople #Boundaries #HealthyRelationships #BiblicalWisdom #EmotionalHealth #Pessimism #MentalHealthAwareness #ChristianRelationships #RelationshipAdvice

Are Christians required to lay down all their rights and allow others to walk over them? For decades, popular church teaching suggested that followers of Christ should never demand respect, express hurt, or set boundaries. But misinterpreting biblical self-sacrifice can lead to deep emotional harm, resentment, and dynamics filled with contempt. In this episode of Change My Relationship, licensed marriage and family therapist and author Karla Downing addresses the misconception surrounding "laying down your rights" in difficult relationships. Using scripture and practical counseling insight, Karla clarifies when holding onto your rights is essential for healthy boundaries and emotional well-being. Key Topics Covered in This Episode: Misunderstood Theology: Why "laying down your rights" is often taken out of biblical context and how it damages interpersonal dynamics. Biblical Examples of Standing Up for Rights: How Paul asserted his civil rights as a Roman citizen in Acts 16 and discussed ministerial support rights in 1 Corinthians 9. When to Hold vs. Surrender Rights: The vital difference between laying down rights for a genuine, gospel-centered purpose versus enabling mistreatment and disrespect in personal relationships. 17 Essential Relationship Rights: A comprehensive checklist of core rights every individual holds—including the right to be treated with respect, to say no without guilt, to make mistakes, and to live free from abuse. Whether you are navigating a marriage, family conflict, or workplace strain, this episode will help you stand up for yourself with grace, truth, and conviction. Resources Mentioned: Want a printable copy of the 17 Relationship Rights? Head over to changemyrelationship.com and search for "Relationship Rights" to download the full devotional list. #ChangeMyRelationship #KarlaDowning #ChristianRelationships #RelationshipRights #Boundaries #HealthyRelationships #BiblicalWisdom #SelfCare #FaithAndMentalHealth #ChristianPodcast #RelationshipAdvice #EmotionalHealing Subscribe & Connect: If this episode empowered you, please subscribe and share it with someone who needs it! Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/bXmMOh6auck

You need support if you are caregiving for your elderly parents. One of the most important things is to understand how to set boundaries, whether you are in a healthy or dysfunctional family. Otherwise, it can be overwhelming and exhausting, especially when you are still caring for your children and managing your life's responsibilities.  It isn't easy to set boundaries when the needs and demands are never-ending. It's also confusing to know what boundaries are okay for Christians when you are considering the command to honor your parents. You are only one person, and you cannot do everything. How do you decide which priorities to give to all the things on your plate? Watch this video for caregiving support on setting boundaries with parents in both healthy and dysfunctional families. It will help you take care of yourself. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. #christianboundaries #caregivingsupport #caregiverwellbeing #dysfunctionalfamilies #elderlyparents  Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/js5zT28Z_N4

In this interview, Judi Noble talks about her own physically and verbally abusive marriage during the 1960s. She compares how the church and society responded to abuse victims in the sixties with today, looking at whether there has been progress. Judi relays the story about how God led her to found Eagle's Wings Ministry and how her ex-husband, Jim, her prior abuser, ended up sharing her passion for reaching out to abuse victims and their abusers.    This interview demonstrates how God uses the things that happen to us for his glory and to encourage others. God has been faithful through the thirty years Judi has held firm to her calling. He is honoring Judi's vision in ways today that clearly show his promise to grow the seeds we plant.   The mission of Eagle's Wings Ministry is to bring hope and healing to survivors of domestic violence. They advocate, educate, and empower women and men to discover their true value and worth to break the cycle of abuse in their families. They provide physical, emotional, and spiritual support to those seeking freedom and restoration. Eagle's Wings also desires to train churches and their staff to identify abuse victims and respond to them in a way that offers support rather than harm.  #lovedoesnoharm #romans13:10 #Christianmarriageadvice #Christianrelationshipadvice #domesticviolencesurvivors #abusiverelationships #abusivemarriage #emotionalabuse #churchabuse    Resources Mentioned in the Podcast   Eagle's Wings Ministry: https://www.eagleswings-ministries.com/   Domestic Abuse Intervention Project (DAIP) wheels regarding abuse and healthy power and control: https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wheels/faqs-about-the-wheels/   "The Abusers' Love vs. Jesus' Love" Talk on YouTube: https://youtu.be/L8z24rPFN7k   "Love Does No Harm" book on Amazon (Paid Link):  https://amzn.to/4iyqKXq     Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/2eTP8jjEBP0

Do you have any neat freaks in your life? If you do, you know that they can drive your crazy with their perfectionist demands. Watch this video to get some ideas of how to deal with them in a way that works.   Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/iRcgvbDi93g

If you've been in unhealthy relationships, you've probably wondered why some people can't self-evaluate. They won't own what they've done. They won't listen to your concerns. They don't care if you are upset or hurt. This lack of self-awareness is not only frustrating but perplexing to healthy people, because when you are willing to look at yourself, you can't figure out why others aren't. Understanding why unhealthy people do what they do makes dealing with them easier. It changes the way you respond to their lack of insight. It helps you let go of useless attempts to get them to own their actions and take responsibility for them. It shifts your focus onto the things you can control. Watch this video to find out why unhealthy people can't self-evaluate. You will be glad you did because information is empowering. #selfevaluation #selfawareness #dysfunctional #unhealthyrelationships #toxicrelationships #unhealthypeople #christianrelationshipadvice Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/-HsrK2ycWpI

Confronting difficult people requires wisdom. Watch this video to learn how to plan your strategy to confront the difficult people in your life. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/L6tPatfaojU

It is important that as a Christian you understand scriptural truths. One of these is the teaching around the question: "Has God promised you won't get more than you can bear?" You share your burdens with a fellow Christian, pastor, or ministry leader, and you are told, "God won't give you more than you can bear." You know what they mean because you have heard it before. So what you tell yourself is: "Stop complaining, God gave it to you and expects you to be able to handle it. What's wrong with you?" But wait a minute. Could it be that this Bible verse is frequently used incorrectly? Could it be saying something completely different?  Watch this video to learn the scriptural truth about whether 1 Corinthians 10:13 means that God has promised you won't get more than you can bear.  Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse. #scripturaltruth #godspromises #temptations #trialsandtribulations #1Corinthains13:10 #scripturalmisunderstandings #scripturaltruths #christianrelationshipadvice  Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/fHz5xtO-UyY

Journaling is helpful when you need clarity on a relationship problem, a boundary you need to set, on who is to blame, on the dynamics, and more. Watch this video to learn how to journal to get clarity on what is going on and what you should do next in your difficult relationships. Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.      Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/DmBB9J4sEfw

If you have a difficult daughter-in-law, you are desperate to fix things so you have a better relationship with your son and grandchildren. This video gives you realistic ideas to navigate this touchy relationship. #daughter-in-law #dysfunctionalrelationship #narcissist #grandchildren #grandchild   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/TUicvil4sf0

All-or-nothing thinking causes problems in your life and relationships whether it is your or someone else's. It is just one of many cognitive distortions that is pervasive in dysfunctional relationships in families where communication skills and conflict resolution skills are generally lacking.  This video gives you examples of this black-and-white thinking and alternative ways to communicate. It is a simple change that has a huge impact.          #all-or-nothing thinking #cognitivedistortion #dysfunctionalfamilies #communicationskills #conflictresolution #christianrelationshipadvice  Karla Downing's passion is to see individuals, marriages, and families set free from dysfunction, scriptural misunderstanding, and emotional pain personally and relationally. Her Christian relationship advice includes messages, books, and classes that provide practical solutions grounded in biblical truths, bringing balance and clarity to life and relationship issues. She also desires to equip ministry leaders and counselors to reach out more effectively to those struggling with difficult relationships, including abuse.   Website: https://www.changemyrelationship.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/ChangeMyRelationship YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@changemyrelationship Watch this video on YouTube: https://youtu.be/VQDWeJW06qw