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How do you make sure your voice as a parent is truly heard at an IEP meeting? In this episode of The Collaborative IEP Podcast, I talk about parent participation as a strategy rather than something that just happens in the room. With so many of you heading into fall IEP meetings, I want you to start thinking about how you communicate before, during, and after the meeting, instead of walking in and simply responding to whatever the team brings up. I compare it to a real estate closing. Some people sign without reading, some read every word, and some ask a few targeted questions. Parents show up to IEP meetings in all of those ways, and each one shapes what you walk away with. In this episode, I explain: • Why parent participation starts well before the IEP meeting • How sharing your interests, values, and concerns in writing keeps meetings collaborative • How to decide how efficient and detail oriented you want your meeting to be • What you gain and give up when you only highlight a few discussion points • How to be an active contributor with your own observations, data, and ideas • How curious, disarming questions move the conversation forward • Why everything you contribute should serve the outcome you want Collaborative advocacy can look like soft skills, and it is, but it is also deeply strategic. Every question you ask, every point you raise, and the follow-up you send afterward can be chosen with one goal in mind: access to meaningful progress for your child. When you communicate with intention, you respect the team's time and still leave having heard what you needed to hear. Inside the Membership this month, Kara Ryska joins us for an Expert Talk on caring for the caregiver on October 26 at 11:00 AM ET. And if you work with an organization, there is room for two or three more organizations to join the Membership as a group, with office hours just for your members. Listen now to learn how to turn your communication into a real strategy at your next IEP meeting. Join The Membership: https://ashleybarlowco.com/the-collaborative-iep-membership

How do you handle your own stress as a caregiver, especially when your body seems to be working against you? In this episode of The Collaborative IEP Podcast, I'm talking about caring for the caregiver and why it matters for co-regulation with our children. Parents of kids with disabilities carry an extra layer of stress on top of everything else life brings, and our bodies keep the score. I share what has finally started working for me after years of trying, and why taking care of yourself is one of the ways you take care of your child. In this episode, I discuss: • The books that have shaped how I think about stress, the body, and regulation • How chronic caregiving stress shows up in our bodies, especially as we age • Why intentionality and “enjoying the process” have changed my daily routines • How simple mantras can help both you and a dysregulated child • The practices that help me most, from meditation and yoga to breathwork and rest • A mindset shift that helps me appreciate the person at the center of the work • How our own regulation affects our children's regulation Caring for yourself can feel like one more thing on a list that is already too long. But our children regulate based on us, and the connection between caregiver and child is real. When you make time for your own wellness, you are not taking something away from your child. You are helping them. I'm not a doctor or a psychologist, just someone who has read a lot and lived a lot. If this resonates, start by noticing: your child's regulation, your own, and what your body is telling you. In this episode I also mention my friend, @KaraRyska, over at The Special Needs Mom Podcast in this episode. I also mention a few books. They are Mindset (Carol Dweck), The Body Keeps the Score (Bessel van der Kolk), Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers (Robert Sapolsk), Atlas of the Heart (Brené Brown), and Fire Child, Water Child (Stephen Cowan). Listen now for an honest conversation about caring for yourself so you can show up for your child. Join The Membership: https://ashleybarlowco.com/the-collaborative-iep-membership

Trying to get more minutes of specially designed instruction into your child's IEP? Or fewer, so there's more room in the general education classroom? In this episode of The Collaborative IEP Podcast, I explain why the real question is never actually about minutes at all, and how building the IEP in the right order gets you closer to what you actually want. In this episode, I explain: • Why requests for more or fewer minutes usually point to a different underlying need • How to prioritize when your family can't get everything you want in the IEP • Why building the IEP in order, from present levels to goals to services, determines the minutes • How trading time between subjects can help a team support what matters most to your child • Why fewer minutes of specially designed instruction does not automatically mean more inclusion • What deliberate, meaningful inclusion actually requires in the general education setting Getting what you want in an IEP is not about winning an argument or finding the right words. It is about knowing what you want, knowing what you want most, and building the document so that the present levels, the goals, and the services all support that priority. When a team builds in that order, the minutes tend to take care of themselves. Listen now to learn how building your IEP in order can help you get more of what your child actually needs, whether that means more specially designed instruction or more time with general education peers. Listen to Episode 8, Getting More Services Out Of An IEP: https://ashleybarlowco.com/getting-more-services-out-of-an-iep/ Join The Membership: https://ashleybarlowco.com/the-collaborative-iep-membership

What is the one thing that can turn a productive IEP meeting into a standstill in a matter of seconds? In this episode of The Collaborative IEP Podcast, I talk about how easily a meeting can get derailed, not because anyone was unkind, but because someone tried to summarize a hard topic quickly and left too much unsaid. I share a story from my years doing family law negotiation that shows exactly how it happens, and I walk through what to do when it happens to you. In this episode, I discuss: • How shorthand phrasing about a child's disability can unintentionally sound dismissive • Why one imprecise word can trigger a strong emotional reaction in a meeting • How a story from a family law negotiation shows the way a single phrase can undo hours of progress • Why teams can get stuck reacting to wording instead of solving the real problem • How naming and repairing a comment in the moment can get a meeting back on track • Why returning to the underlying concern defuses a loaded statement • When slowing down and regrouping helps a team refocus on the child Meetings rarely go sideways because someone was unkind. They go sideways because someone tried to be efficient and, in doing so, left out the words that carry the full picture of a child's needs. Naming that moment and repairing it gently is one of the most useful skills a parent or a professional can build at the table. Listen now to learn how the words we choose can move an IEP meeting forward or stop it in its tracks, and what to do to bring it back. Join The Membership: https://ashleybarlowco.com/the-collaborative-iep-membership

What do you do if you don't like the language in your child's IEP? In this episode of The Collaborative IEP Podcast, I answer a question that came in from a Down syndrome association and applies to almost every family I work with: what to do when the wording in an IEP or evaluation feels off, unfair, or just plain wrong. Parents are not only allowed to weigh in on how an IEP is written, they are supposed to. In this episode, I explain: • Why parents can and should weigh in on how an IEP is worded • Why descriptions of a child's physical appearance rarely belong in an evaluation • How to reword language that frames normal social struggles as pestering • Why language that implies behavior is a choice can be unfair to a child • How to mark up a draft IEP and return it with suggested language • When it helps to explain an edit instead of leaving it to speak for itself • Why naming the skill deficit behind a behavior leads to better supports Language in an IEP is never just semantics. The words a team chooses shape how a child is seen, and over time, how that child comes to see themselves. Speaking up when something feels off is not adversarial. It is part of collaborating on a document that has to serve your child well beyond this one meeting. Listen now to learn how to spot language that labels or blames, and how to ask for something better. Join The Membership: https://ashleybarlowco.com/the-collaborative-iep-membership

How do you actually get more minutes in your child's IEP? In this episode of The Collaborative IEP Podcast, I'm answering one of the questions I hear most, whether that means more special education minutes, more time with a related service provider, or more of a specific intervention. It's a question that comes up constantly at intake, and it deserves a real answer. In this episode, I explain: • The two clarifying questions that shape every request for more minutes • How building your IEP in order supports a stronger case for more services • Why expert reports and curriculum research can strengthen your request • How looking at the daily schedule can reveal minutes that already exist • Why networking with other families and staff can uncover what is possible • When requesting outside services becomes the appropriate next step Getting more minutes is rarely about asking louder or negotiating harder. It's about knowing exactly what you're asking for, understanding why it matters for your child, and building a request grounded in data the team can act on. Approached that way, you're not creating conflict. You're giving your child's team what they need to say yes. Listen now for practical, collaborative strategies to use the next time you're asking your child's team for more support. Join The Membership: https://ashleybarlowco.com/the-collaborative-iep-membership

Is my IEP good, and is the school doing everything it should be doing? In this episode of The Collaborative IEP Podcast, I take on a question I hear all the time, one I gathered from parents at the Down Syndrome Affiliates in Action Conference: is this IEP good, and is the school doing everything it should? I think we're asking the wrong question, and today I explain why that matters. In this episode, I explain: • Why the IEP document matters legally but is not the finish line • Why asking whether the IEP is good is not the most useful question • How shifting to asking whether the IEP is working opens up real collaboration • What to ask when a new intervention, service, or support gets introduced • Why parents share responsibility for understanding implementation even though delivering it is the school's job • How curiosity about curriculum, data, and follow through leads to stronger team meetings The goal was never a perfectly drafted document. It's progress: access, participation, belonging, independence, and learning for your child. When we ask what's working instead of what's written, we create room for teams to problem solve together instead of just getting along on paper. Listen now to start asking the question that actually moves your child's IEP forward. Join The Membership: https://ashleybarlowco.com/the-collaborative-iep-membership

This episode publishes on the first day of school in my district, and I am starting the year with a thank you to teachers. In this episode of The Collaborative IEP Podcast, I highlight the people who make a school a community. I tell you about my fifth grade science teacher, who was also my neighbor and my mom's colleague, and what watching her taught me about advocacy long before I ever sat at an IEP table. In this episode, I discuss: • Why school community matters more to our IEPs than we tend to notice • What teacher appreciation looks like beyond a gift in October or May • How watching teachers plan and problem solve shaped the way I advocate today • Why understanding the pressure teachers carry does not lower our expectations for our kids • What has changed in schools that makes that kind of teaching harder now • A membership expansion I am beta testing this year for disability organizations that want to hand off their IEP support • How to add your question to the running list of podcast topics Our children deserve specially designed instruction that is built for them and helps them make meaningful progress, and holding teams to that is the work. It is also true that the adults sitting across the table are navigating principals, superintendents, and a growing pile of bureaucracy while they do it. Seeing both at once does not soften our advocacy. It makes it land. Listen now for a back to school celebration of teachers, school community, and the belonging that makes good advocacy possible. Join The Membership: https://ashleybarlowco.com/the-collaborative-iep-membership Interested in the organization beta, or have a podcast topic to add? Email [email protected] or DM @thecollaborativeiep on Instagram.

We're back, friends, and we're back right on time for back to school season. In this episode, I'm sharing my tried and true method for getting your child's team ready for the new school year, and it starts with something you already have in your house: one of those barely used notebooks that came home in June. I'll walk you through exactly how I use it, what to jot down over the next two or three weeks, and how that page becomes your back to school email to the team. Then we get into the part most parents miss. Your school does not know what your family values. They don't know if you're inclusively minded. They don't know how you feel about demands, or compliance, or social emotional health, or how much stretch you want for your child. And here's the thing: that's okay. Teams are serving families with genuinely different interests, values, and experiences. But they can't honor what they've never been told.

Can a private therapist come into your child’s school to support their IEP or 504 plan? In this episode of The Collaborative IEP Podcast, we continue the conversation around navigating complex IEP situations by answering one of the most common questions parents and advocates ask: whether an outside provider can or should be brought into the school setting. In this episode, I explain: Whether you can require a school to allow a private therapist or provider into the classroomWhy challenging school policy is not always the most effective advocacy strategyThe differences between private therapy approaches and school-based supportsHow conflicting philosophies can create confusion and limit student progressWhy liability is a major factor in a school’s decision to deny outside providersWhen collaboration with outside providers can work effectivelyAlternative ways to support your child without forcing access into the school IEP and 504 plan decisions are rarely as simple as getting a yes or no. While outside providers can offer valuable insight, true progress happens when teams are aligned, communication is clear, and supports are designed to work within the school environment. This episode will help you think strategically about advocacy so you can focus on what actually benefits your child. Listen now to learn how to approach this situation with clarity, confidence, and a collaborative mindset. Join The Membership: https://ashleybarlowco.com/the-collaborative-iep-membership Buy Tickets for The Collaborative IEP Experience: https://ashleybarlowco.com/the-collaborative-iep-experience

In this episode, I share a personal reflection on stress, caregiving, and advocacy, along with what I’ve learned about recognizing when pressure and intimidation are affecting your ability to advocate clearly. In this episode, I discuss: How stress affects our bodies, decision-making, and advocacyWhy caregiving and advocacy roles can create significant pressureWhat it feels like when meetings or situations become overwhelmingWhy recognizing stress signals in your body mattersHow awareness can help you stay grounded in advocacy conversations IEP advocacy is emotional work. Caregiving is emotional work. And when we combine the two, it’s important to recognize the impact stress can have on us. In this episode, I share some of my own experiences with stress and regulation and why paying attention to those signals can help us take better care of ourselves and the people we support. Listen now for an honest conversation about stress, advocacy, and the realities of supporting children with disabilities.

Have you ever walked into an IEP meeting and felt like the room was stacked against you? In this episode of The Collaborative IEP Podcast, I talk about something many parents and advocates experience but don’t always know how to name: the stress and intimidation that can happen when schools bring large teams of staff into special education meetings. Sometimes there are legitimate reasons for having multiple professionals at the table. But other times, the number of people in the room can feel overwhelming and create a power imbalance for parents. In this episode, I share a personal reflection on stress, caregiving, and advocacy, along with what I’ve learned about recognizing when pressure and intimidation are affecting your ability to advocate clearly. In this episode, I discuss: How stress affects our bodies, decision-making, and advocacyWhy caregiving and advocacy roles can create significant pressureWhat it feels like when meetings or situations become overwhelmingWhy recognizing stress signals in your body mattersHow awareness can help you stay grounded in advocacy conversations IEP advocacy is emotional work. Caregiving is emotional work. And when we combine the two, it’s important to recognize the impact stress can have on us. In this episode, I share some of my own experiences with stress and regulation and why paying attention to those signals can help us take better care of ourselves and the people we support. Listen now for an honest conversation about stress, advocacy, and the realities of supporting children with disabilities. Join The Membership: https://ashleybarlowco.com/the-collaborative-iep-membership Get the Replay of the Conference: https://ashleybarlowco.com/all-access-pass-post

Have you ever brought up something at an IEP meeting — and the team simply didn’t know what you were talking about? Sometimes the issue isn’t disagreement. It’s a lack of knowledge. In this episode of The Collaborative IEP Podcast, we explore what to do when your IEP team lacks training or familiarity with the research, practices, or concepts you’re raising. Whether you’re discussing the science of reading, PDA profiles, interoception, or another emerging topic, parents and advocates often find themselves educating the team. You’ll learn: Why knowledge gaps happen in special education teamsHow to share resources before a meeting to prepare the teamWhy a collaborative tone helps people stay open to learningSimple ways to “disarm the room” and keep the conversation productiveHow to introduce new ideas without triggering defensiveness When handled strategically, these moments can shift an IEP or 504 meeting from confusion to collaboration. Listen now to learn how to help your IEP team better understand your child’s special education needs. Join The Membership: https://ashleybarlowco.com/the-collaborative-iep-membership Get the Replay of the Conference: https://ashleybarlowco.com/all-access-pass-post ABCourse: https://abc.ashleybarlowco.com/

Do you ever leave an IEP meeting thinking, “That one test score does not tell the whole story”? In this episode of The Collaborative IEP Podcast, we tackle what happens when schools rely on a single data point — a MAP score, an iReady number, one behavior report, or one teacher comment — to justify denying services or changing placement. This installment in the “Seven Simple Solutions to Solve Your Sticky IEP Situations” series focuses on Smoke and Mirrors — when rhetorical or incomplete information takes over the conversation. You’ll learn: How to spot cherry-picked data at the IEP tableWhy one test score should never drive big decisionsWhat it means to TCB (Take Care of Business) in your advocacyHow to stay calm, collaborative, and firm when the team leans on weak argumentsHow to refocus the conversation on comprehensive, objective data If you’re navigating special education meetings and want to advocate clearly — without escalating conflict — this episode gives you a practical mindset shift you can use immediately. Listen now and learn how to push back on incomplete data while staying strategic at the IEP table. Join The Membership: https://ashleybarlowco.com/the-collaborative-iep-membership Get the Replay of the Conference: https://ashleybarlowco.com/all-access-pass-post ABCourse: https://abc.ashleybarlowco.com/

A Simple Special Education Advocacy Strategy for Parents Do you ever leave an IEP meeting feeling frustrated, unheard, or completely misunderstood? If you’re a parent navigating special education, you are not alone. In this episode of The Collaborative IEP Podcast, we break down a simple, practical advocacy strategy you can use when school staff don’t seem to understand your concerns, your child’s needs, or your “why.” This episode is packed with plain-language guidance for parents who want to improve communication at IEP meetings without escalating conflict. You’ll learn: What to do when you feel misunderstood at an IEP meetingHow to respond when the school district doesn’t “get” your positionA step-by-step special education advocacy strategy you can use immediatelyHow to pause an unproductive IEP meeting in a professional wayWhy writing your concerns can strengthen collaboration and protect your child’s rightsHow to improve parent-school communication without jumping straight to due process This episode is especially helpful for parents of children with IEPs who are dealing with: Communication breakdowns during IEP meetingsDisagreements with the school teamFeeling dismissed by school staffSpecial education negotiation challengesCollaborative advocacy vs. litigation decisions If you’re trying to advocate for your child with a disability and want to stay calm, clear, and effective at the IEP table, this episode gives you a practical tool you can use right away. Whether you’re new to special education or a seasoned IEP parent, this conversation will help you handle conflict more strategically and move toward productive collaboration. Listen now to learn how to turn frustration into focused, effective advocacy. Join The Membership: https://ashleybarlowco.com/the-collaborative-iep-membership Get the Replay of the Conference: https://ashleybarlowco.com/all-access-pass-post ABCourse: https://abc.ashleybarlowco.com/