1530586008
Nowhere Fast: A Virtual Bike Racing Podcast

Advertise on podcast: Nowhere Fast: A Virtual Bike Racing Podcast

Rating
★★★★★
4.9
from
23 reviews
This podcast has
63 episodes
Language
English
Explicit
No
Date created
2020/09/04
Latest episode
2026/01/18
Average duration
65 min.
Release period
74 days

Description

The bike racing might be fake, but the podcast is real. Join hosts Kevin Bouchard-Hall, Mike Swart, and Zach Schuster for the virtual bike racing podcast you didn't know you needed that includes Zwift commentary, interviews, and coverage of real fake bike races.

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Podcast episodes

Check latest episodes from Nowhere Fast: A Virtual Bike Racing Podcast podcast


The Random Guest Episode
2026/01/18
We have a guest, who's kind of random. Tune in to find out who it is! We go to the knower of all things with a game of Dear KBH, talk about our new least favorite person, do a fantasy draft of the Best Day of Zwift Ever, and listen to a KBH Storytime that has absolutely nothing to do with bike racing.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast, head to wideanglepodium.com to become a member of the network and support the Minute of Power exhibition. To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 
#podgoals
2026/01/12
We've got big #podgoals for 2026. Will we reach them? Of course not.  Zach talks about his latest year-end Zwift trick, Mike completely botches telling about an unimpressive world record attempt some guy did, and Kevin does a deep-dive on how many McFlurries it takes to do a Zwift race. We also soft-launch our new Minute of Power exhibition that is the spirtual successor to the famed Zwift Venga Bus.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast, head to wideanglepodium.com to become a member of the network and support the Minute of Power exhibition. To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 
Same As It Ever Was
2025/12/01
Zwift Season is here again and the cheaters are even cheatingier than ever. We check in on how the summer went, report on a cheater who had their Zwift dreams shattered, and discuss a major life milestone for Zach.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast, head to wideanglepodium.com to become a member of the network and support our new power meters for posers charity. To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 
Zwift's New Pimp My Ride
2025/05/10
Remember when that guy used a bot to get the Tron bike for a race and it was the biggest cheating in the history of cheating? Ethics in gear acquisition is back in the news thanks to the new Zwift bike upgrades. Is it cheating to run Zwift with a heart rate monitor app while you're mowing the lawn? What if you hook up a Nintendo controller and mash the A and B buttons? We discuss.  Also, the World's Most Dangerous Group Ride, memories of the time they had a crit at the CrossFit Games, and of course, cheating.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast, head to wideanglepodium.com to become a member of the network and support our purchases of heart rate monitor watt apps. To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 
The Zwift Education of Michael van den Ham
2025/04/07
American Mike and Canadian Michael hug it out after their chance encounter in the Zwift comments section. Michael shares his experiences racing on Zwift, helps speculate if the Coggan chart is dead, and gets some helpful pointers from Cycling Expert Kevin. He also provides a coach's assessment of the famed 30 for 30 workout plan.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast, head to wideanglepodium.com to become a member of the network and support our decadence. To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 
Mike is the Watt King Now
2025/03/24
You've heard our Watt King of the Week segment, but what if one of us ... became the Watt King? Mike made a bunch of people mad with his patented coffee stop and then potentially started an international incident. Kevin tried a Peloton ride, to hilarious effect.  And is Zwift dead? Is this the end of Nowhere Fast?   Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast, head to wideanglepodium.com to become a member of the network and support our decadence. To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 
Mason Rocca Returns
2025/02/21
It's the virtual bike racing / basketball crossover episode you didn't know you needed. Former virtual racing National Champion Mason Rocca returns to talk about his switch from RGT to Zwift, racing the ERL on MyWoosh, and watching his sons ball out for their high school team this winter.  We also learned that this week's Watt King of the Week is coming from inside the house.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast and help buy Zach Zwift steering, head to wideanglepodium.com to become a member of the network and support our decadence. To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 
The Stupidest Race on Zwift
2025/02/07
Welcome to the Thunderdome of Zwift. Kevin and Mike dreamed about the stupidest race on Zwift and then made it a reality. Half the field got sent up a mountain, the other half got sent downhill to do 92 laps in the toilet bowl. And Kevin got the win.  We also talk about our Wattkings of the Week, debate whether or not Wattkings have ruined Cat A Zwift racing, and learn about the advantages of steering, even if it doesn't really work.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast and help buy Zach Zwift steering, head to wideanglepodium.com to become a member of the network and support our decadence. To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.   
Casey Schumm, The Best Not Good Racer on Zwift
2025/01/26
Casey Schumm is "the best not good racer on Zwift" (said with 100% love). Schumm has mastered the art of Zwift to consistently stay competitive at the Cat B level. He stopped by the pod to share stories from the pretty good level of Zwift and discuss the new Zwift Racing Score and the outsized influence equipment has on virtual racing.  We also try out a new segment highlighting our favorite Watt Kings of the Week.  Casey hosts his own weekly virtual racing podcast called The Spin Cast Cycling Show. Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast and help pay for Kevin's gold-plated ankle weights, head to wideanglepodium.com to become a member of the network and contribute to our advanced virtual racing research. To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 
The Average Joe's 30 for 30
2025/01/11
Can a very mid bike racer complete the famed 30 for 30 workout plan? Our very average host and editor shares his experiences surviving 30 straight days of Zwift races and hard Peloton rides. Mike also reports on concerning news about the future of the Gong Show, and Kevin shares the many accomplishments now on his Zwift Power profile.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast and help pay for Kevin's gold-plated ankle weights, head to wideanglepodium.com to become a member of the network and contribute to our advanced virtual racing research. To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 
The Cheating Detective, with Bjoern Ossenbrink
2024/12/27
Bjoern Ossenbrink's eyes *clap clap* are watching you, they see your every move. Well, kind of, but he does use data analytics to verify virtual racing performances at the high levels of the sport. He joins the pod to talk about the low-cadence craze, power meters and smart trainers, and that one time he raced against KBH. We also try to determine if CrossFit is the Zwift of working out.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast and help pay for Mike's coffee stop glitch research, head to wideanglepodium.com to become a member of the network and contribute to our advanced virtual racing research. To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.   
We Are So Back, Again
2024/12/11
We are back! For real this time. We promise. We catch up on what everyone has been up to in the last 13 months, including Mike's Gong Show and Kevin's CrossFit assault bike Zwift race. We talk a bit about MyWhoosh Worlds, and then of course, cheating. 
We Are So Back
2023/11/02
Just like Zwift, we got stalled out on Level 50, but since the levels go to 60 now, we should probably record more podcasts. We catch up, talk about the end of RGT, eWorlds moving to a new platform, and other things in the world of indoor racing. Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast and help pay for Kevin's legal fees, head to wideanglepodium.com to become a member of the network and support what we do. Follow Mike on Twitter at @mikeswart and Zach at @TheShoeStar. To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 
Episode 50! The Return of Eric Schlange
2023/04/26
Eric Schlange of Zwift Insider returns to toast our 50th episode. We chat about ZI's Tiny Races, the new pack dynamics, the future of Zwift, and of course, cheating. Also, you'll def want to tune in for perhaps the greatest Story Time with Kevin of all time.  Check out Zwift Insider at zwiftinsider.com. Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast and help pay for Kevin's legal fees, head to wideanglepodium.com to become a member of the network and support what we do.  Follow Mike on Twitter at @mikeswart and Zach at @TheShoeStar.  To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify.   
Tri Hard, With a Vengeance
2023/03/27
We watched a Super League Triathlon live event broadcast so we could speculate if it is the next big thing in virtual racing. We also went back and talked about MyWhoosh Club a bunch, even though that is technically against the rules of MyWhoosh Club.  Nowhere Fast is a member of the Wide Angle Podium network. To support this podcast and help pay for Mike's clocks, head to wideanglepodium.com to become a member of the network and support what we do.  Follow Mike at @mikeswart and Zach at @TheShoeStar on Twitter. To keep up to date on all our real coverage of fake bike racing, subscribe via Apple Podcasts or Spotify. 

Podcast reviews

Read Nowhere Fast: A Virtual Bike Racing Podcast podcast reviews


4.9 out of 5
23 reviews
★★★★★
Dailco 2025/01/14
30 for 30
!
★★★★★
Adamacac 2022/12/14
Excellent fake bike racing talk
Came for the witty banter, stayed for the imaginative things Kevin would be willing to put on a t-shirt.
★★★☆☆
Brian Freddy Hoole Jr. 2024/01/08
Almost good, but not quite sometimes. They should dual record.
3 stars. Would’ve given 5 stars if KBH said yes to PEDs like that dude on The Move podcast. Slightly biased toward clean racing (which is boring imo) ...
★★★★★
DolomiteTX 2022/08/22
Fun Pod about a Fun Pastime
These guys breathe life into Zwift’s soulless avatars. They talk tactics, beefs, cheats, and The cone of shame. This pod won’t necessarily reveal an...
★★★★★
@ironchefmpls 2022/04/20
Worst Norwegian cookie baking podcast ever
Otherwise, you guys are pretty entertaining.
★★★★★
WNickDI 2022/03/03
A niche of a niche of a niche
If you know, you know. Nicely done podcast on an oh-so-obscure hobby…sport…thing. Keep up the good work!
check all reviews on apple podcasts

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